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theleotarot · 8 months ago

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Hi! May I have a reading? 😊 If possible, can I know a few details about my fs? Thank you! ♑-Mari, she/her

Hi Mari! Thank you so much for allowing me to read for you. 😊💕

If you enjoy your reading, please consider donating to my tipping on Ko-Fi. It is not necessary, but it is very appreciated! Let's begin your reading now. ♡

(Two of Pentacles, Six of Pentacles, Seven of Wands, Strength, 2 of Swords, The Chariot, Justice, 9 of Swords, Karmic Relationship, & Camera)

Mari, before I go into detail about your future spouse, I just want to tell you already that they are such a great soul. First of all, they are someone that is so selfless, and I mean in every way- financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I can see that they are someone who is very good at balancing the different aspects in life, also obstacles. Perhaps, they are maintaining a job while maintaining their education, while going through issues. But what I’m really getting from your future spouse is that they are very, very giving to their loved ones, friends, and especially family. Even if they are struggling with their own life, they’d give up so much for other people’s happiness. I’m hearing that even if they aren’t the wealthiest either, they still try their best to give their money out to their loved ones. I’m hearing also that they are a gift giver. This is very sweet of them. They do a really good job at taking care of other people, but I also think they do a fairly good job at keeping up with themselves. I think your future spouse is a super strong individual, overcoming any obstacles in their way, but perhaps, they may still have their own struggles that they don’t discuss with other people. I do think your person is sweet and selfless, but they have many issues that they deal with in the inside. I feel very called to say that they used to be or are very disinterested in their life, and that’s why they express their kindness to other people- They can’t really find contentment in themselves. They do love having bonds and relationships though, not just romantically, but family wise and platonic relationships. Again, your future spouse exudes so much of selflessness. Mari, I really do admire your person’s personality. They seem so strong, grounded, and ready to go against any hardships that are thrown at them. I also would like to say that they are successful in whatever they are doing. Maybe that’s why a lot of people seek help from them or look up to them. I think they’re also very focused on their career or education, but deep down, they do want a very romantic and reciprocated love. I think they are just focused on themselves though for the time being.

In terms of what your future spouse looks like, honestly, I’m getting the vibe that I said before- They try to look confident and bold, but on the inside, I think they do struggle with their appearance. What I mean by this is that maybe they like to dress in nice clothing, but their choices of clothing still cover up whatever they are insecure about. Your person might be insecure about their chest area I am seeing. I do think that they have a very athletic or toned type of body though. Definitely, they do some type of cardio activity that keeps them in shape. I think you really like their smile and laugh too. I think they radiate a very bright and positive energy when they walk in the room, and this may be your favorite thing about them. I am seeing darker features on them, but their skin tone isn’t light or dark, just right in the middle. For your future spouse’s appearance, it’s kind of difficult to channel their energy though, maybe in some way they don’t feel the best about themselves right now? I hope this isn’t the case though because they do really represent a bright and shining energy, even if they feel low about themselves. They are definitely attractive to you. Yes, and one more thing just caught my eye right now, I’m definitely feeling that you will really like their side profile haha. Very nice cheekbones too.

For your relationship with your future spouse, I’m hearing that all your worries will be put to rest. I think in your relationship, both of you will be very honest and loyal to each other. There is lots of conversations here, and I’m feeling like your conversations are very meaningful with another. I think you both will be able to open about previous experiences and life stories, and that is very comforting to hear already. You’ll definitely take a lot of photos with them and make a lot of memories with them. I’m seeing a lot of photos hung up on your future home. I love that for you. As said before, their selflessness will be brought in your relationship, and with this, you will feel like this is your good karma in life. You will feel like you’ve finally received a love that YOU deserve. I’m also hearing that you both may have been karmic partners in a past life, or this might be someone that you had a fall out with. You didn’t have to have a relationship with them, but maybe you did have something there with them. If not, then in past lives, you both were karmic partners. Just take what resonates. But yes, you both are meant to be together in this life again. I would like to note down here that the four of cups and nine of cups is at the back of this deck, and your person was in the four of cups energy with a separate deck just before this. This means that there is huge wish fulfillment for the both of you in your relationship because the four of cups turns into the nine of cups. Also, one more thing came to me. Just a while ago, I noted that you will feel like they are your good karma, now they will feel like YOU are their good karma since they’ve spent so much of their life giving out to other people. This is so sweet omg. 🥺 But yes, in addition to this honesty and fulfillment between you both, you two will also have lots of fun together. I’m seeing celebrations and parties together. Also, a lot of temptation with each other. 😉

I hope you enjoyed your reading and that it resonated! Please remember to send me feedback when you have the chance to do so. Have a wonderful day! ♡

#inbox #tarot reading #inbox reading

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allthebooksandcrannies · 4 years ago

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I know a lot of older people think it's a problem that so many young people don't want to have children, but I think it shows an increased understanding for how much of a responsibility parenting is and how much damage you can do to a child of you're not ready to raise someone.

I think that everyone is capable of being a good parent and I think that some people should never be parents. These may sound mutually exclusive but they aren't because there's a big if involved in the first half. That if, is that everyone is capable of being a good parent someday if they put in the work to take care of their own shit first.

When you become a parent or guardian, you are officially signing on to prioritize another person's physical and emotional needs before your own for the rest of their life. That means loving them no matter what they do or who they become. That means putting aside your own exhaustion and frustration at your day when they walk through the door so that you can be their champion and their confidant and their companion. That means teaching them how to process their emotions and think critically and empathetically and it means letting them find their own path, even if it's different than the one you wanted or imagined for them, but making it clear that if they need or want your comfort, your help, or just your ear that they will have it. You don't have to be perfect. No parent ever is, and it's important anyway for kids to learn in nontraumatic ways that adults make mistakes too and that's okay as long as you take responsibility for that and strive to learn and grow because of your mistakes. Kids learn by watching and listening to the adults around them and the things they conclude from those early years of observation will stick with them the rest of their lives.

I know that that sounds scary. It probably should because deciding to raise a child should be the biggest decision you can make, and if it's not, you may not be taking it seriously enough.

I also know that this is hard. And I have the greatest respect for people who truly understand this and decide to raise a tiny person anyway.

I'm also not trying to discourage you from becoming a parent. You may not be ready now, but that doesn't mean you can't be later. I personally would love to be a mom some day not I know that I have a lot of personal growth and healing I need to take care of first, to say nothing of the stabilization of my financial and career status.

The real question is what can you do to be a better parent, guardian, or even trusted adult to someone else's child (a really important and valid role and choice in itself!) later?

First off, you need to do some hard core introspection to figure out what traits and behaviors you have that might exhibit that would interfere in your ability to be a good parent. Maybe you're still emotionally immature. Maybe you're struggling with uncontrolled mental illness, chronic illness, or addiction. Maybe you've internalized some toxic ideas. Maybe you're still recovering from trauma or just now realizing that what you have even is trauma. None of these things makes you a bad person and none of them stops you from being capable to becoming a good parent. But, all of them can interfere with your ability to model healthy behaviors and coping skills to your child. Children learn through observation and, because their brains need the world to make sense and be predictable, they're going to interpret everytime you seem upset or lose your cool as being their fault. Young children aren't capable of going "mom is upset and snapped over something relatively trivial, she must be having a bad day/be tired/etc" because that's an interpretation of the world that is outside their control. Instead, they're going to go "I did x and mom got mad at me, it's my fault so I better not do x again" and that's a really harmful mindset that can contribute to self-worth issues and other mental illnesses like anxiety, especially if this happens long-term (for the record, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to snap over stupid things because being a grown-up is hard, so when you inevitably make this mistake it's important to be honest and upfront with your child about what happened, why, how it's not their fault, and you have to genuinely apologize for it, turning your mistake into a chance to model good adult behavior).

It's important to take care of yourself and let yourself grow and heal before bringing a kid into the mix because 1. you'll be a better parent if you start out in a better place emotionally and mentally, and 2. because you deserve the chance to be healthy and happy and it's much harder to address the things that are interfering with that when your also trying to juggle the additional emotional/mental demands of raising a child.

Additionally, I definitely recommend making sure you and anyone else taking a primary caretaker role in your child's life is in a stable financial and that the relationship between you and any other caretakers is stable and amicable regardless of what kind of relationship it is. The financial aspect is important because kids are expensive as hell (both the having/acquiring and the raising) and you want to be able to provide then with the best possible shot at life.

This isn't about me but I feel like the example will be helpful. We weren't poverty level growing up, but even as a child it was clear to me that we could be. My parents were 20 year old newlyweds when they got pregnant. My dad had been set up to inherit a position in his father and grandfather's construction company and did not go to college because they thought he was guaranteed a steady job. My mom was paying for a college education she couldn't afford because no one had ever explained how to get financial aid and scholarships to her and her parents were too caught up in their own shit to be anything but relieved about getting to make her future my dad's problem. Then they got pregnant. They started building a house that took much longer to build then expected because that construction business dad was expecting to inherit went out of business because it turned out that a cousin had been embezzling and my great-grandmother wouldn't let them sue or press charges against family. Mom had to drop out of college to raise me because daycare costs as much as she makes at work and she no longer has the time or funds. They had a baby they weren't prepared to raise and my dad's new job had him working in the Texas heat all day before going and working on our house at night so that we could move out of my maternal grandfather's house now that he was getting divorced and couldn't afford it. My parents society never saw each other and they were constantly worried about money. Less than two years after I was born they accidentally got pregnant with my brother. He ended up with failure to thrive and (although he did eventually recover) it raked up a serious amount of debt in addition to my mom's student loans and the mortgage. Flash forward four more years and my dad falls through a roof at a construction site and permanently cripples his ankle. Cue a year of the only breadwinner in the household being unable to work, several surgeries and massive medical bills we can't pay. A year after that my mom has to have a historectomy because her fibroids are causing immense pain and then they find pre-cancerous cells. Another year after that she starts having unexplained siezures and signs of organ failure that will take years to diagnose as a rare autoimmune disorder that will leave her disabled and, again, rake up serious medical debt. I found out in college that it came to the point that we almost lost the house but as a kid I still always knew we were struggling. And that fucks with a kid's head. There were reasons I didn't tell my parents that something was wrong for a week after I sprained my wrist when I was 10 and it wasn't just because I didn't want to sound like I was asking for attention (a phobia that also comes from having emotionally immature parents). I pushed myself ridiculously hard in school because I knew I couldn't expect any help paying for college from my parents. I still feel incredibly guilty anytime I spend more than 20 dollars even though it's my money and I need groceries or textbooks or gas or whatever. A lot of these issues would have been financially difficult and unpredictable, but had my parents been in a more stable position when they got married and started having kids, it would have been much easier to weather the storms.

Additionally, money is the main thing couples fight about, so if you can take that off the table as a significant concern before bringing kids into the mix, please do. Maslow's hierarchy of needs states that you can't address higher order concerns like personal growth of your worried about where your next meal is coming from and that goes for your children as well.

Again, I'm not trying to shame people for their financial difficulties. Most of us are playing at a game we were never intended to win and I get that not all children are planned. But, your good intentions unfortunately will not put food on the table or pay the rent and your children will have a lot less stress in their lives if you are able to make sure that things are as stable as possible before you bring them into it.

The same goes for your relationship with fellow caretakers. Don't try to have kids to save your relationship. Don't ever make your children feel like your relationship is in anyway their responsibility. Again, they need their world to make sense and if you're fighting they're probably going to assume it's somehow their fault. Don't do that to them.

Anyway, this rant turned out a lot longer than I intended but I think I needed to say it. In summary, raising children is not about you but your going to make it about you unless you take care of your own shit first. Children don't ask to be born. If you're not ready for that responsibility, either don't have kids or put in the work so that you will be. If you already have kids, and don't have your shit together, there's still time but it's going to be harder and you might have to do some damage control from any traumas you may have already inflicted on your child, regardless of your intentions. If that's the case, you have a responsibility to get your kid the help they need and do everything in your power to avoid further harm. You're the adult in this situation, and if you're going to be a parent, you need to act like it.

#parenting #emotionally immature parents #childhood trauma #parenting advice #personal rant #personal growth #original post

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astroismypassion · 4 years ago

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howdy, saw u we're having tech difficulties sorry abt that! i got you a coffee the other day my name is carson, 22 October, 2003 in Winchester, VA, USA @ 2:43 PM !

Hi!

Thank you for buying me this delicious hot beverage. I drank black coffee with rice milk while writing your interpretation. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing! I listened to Leonard Cohen while writing your interpretation. ;)

Your dominant planets are: 1. Uranus, 2. Mars and 3. Pluto. Your dominant signs are: 1. Aquarius, 2. Scorpio and 3. Aries. Your main mode is Fixed. You are Air dominant.

FAMILY, SIBLINGS, EARLY LIFE

You have Taurus IC. You are a private person and you might not post much on social media or that often. Only your family and really close friends know what you value, what you like and desire. You have most of your 4th house is Gemini. Your parents emphasized communication and conversation in your early life. Maybe you learnt how to be polite, well mannered early on. You probably liked to read a lot of books or your parents often read to you. There might have been gossiping in your family or around your family. You talked a lot. You might have learnt how to read and speak early on. If you have any siblings, they are Aries or Taurus. Those can be your cousins, close friends from elementary and high school or other family relatives. Even some of your neighbours can be those signs. In your elementary and high school years you were steady fast. You liked learning and doing homework, studying at your own pace and step by step. You didn’t like big chunks of information at once since it overwhelmed you. You have Virgo Moon in the 8th house. You might have a very deep, complex and intense bond with your mother. She can be over loving, overbearing at times (almost to the point of suffocating you), but she really loves you. She is a perfectionist and can be over critical over you at times too. She is an organised lady, who likes cleanliness. You have Libra Sun in the 9th house. Your father influenced you in a way to go after your wants and desires in life and really push you to establish yourself. He probably knows people from all walks of life and with different backgrounds due to Sun trine Uranus. He is freedom loving, adventurous and polite. He is quite diplomatic. He might have worked abroad, with foreigners or foreign people at a certain point in life. Or he works in the educational field. He might even be a preacher! Or he works in a field where there is some sort of art involved, building or designing. Or even law!

PARTNERSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS

Your friends are Gemini, Cancer, Sagittarius, Scorpio and Capricorn. In your romantic relationships you attract Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Sagittarius and Libra. You have Scorpio Venus in the 9th house. You attract a lot of people who are intense, deep thinkers, mysterious and secretive, yet they like their own personal space, freedom and can be flighty. They are loyal and passionate. They like exchanging ideas, opinions, views on life with you. You have Pisces Mars in the 1st house. This is how you approach your crush, how you take action and sometimes how you act in love. You are passive, you prefer someone else approaching you. Though, you are not scared of asserting yourself. You might be torn between you taking the first step or let someone else do it. People would sometimes be scared of your intensity if you approach them first. It’s like you’re brave, determined and know exactly what you like. You like artistic people, who also have a knack for business and are still kind, compassionate and loving. You have Leo Descendant. You might project a proud image onto others. Or others can see you like that sometimes. In love you could attract egotistical, proud, generous, childlike people, who have good humour. You have Venus sextile Jupiter. When you’re in love, you might overlove and be very generous with your time, affection, money and attention. Venus trine Saturn. You like to provide for others, but you want the same in return. You like to be babied from time to time too. You like reliable, responsible, loyal people. You might date someone who is older or younger than your own age. And you have Venus square Neptune. You might attract people who need “healing” or can have even certain emotional or mental difficulties or some repressed feelings. You can idealize them or think that your love might somehow “heal” them. You love people unconditionally and have a lot of universal love for others.

CAREER, PROFESSIONAL LIFE, PUBLIC IMAGE

You have Sun conjunct Mercury. This is a writer’s placement! You could do well in publishing, marketing and any communication field, even journalism. You are very proud of your mind and intelligence, so your mind and ego is directly tied. You like others praising you for your way of thinking and how your “mind” works. In fact you might have broken off a relationship, because you didn’t like “how their mind works” or what their thinking process is. You also know how to compliment people and know just the right words to appeal to them! You have Saturn in the 6th house. You might have certain difficulties with your coworker in your day to day life. Even some difficulties with other authority figures, such as parents, teachers, professors. This takes a great tool on your physical and mental health. You might have a set routine or you don’t like changing it often. You don’t like any disruption or changes in your day-to-day life. Your 6th house is in Cancer and Leo. Even though you have Pisces on the first, you have a bit of Leo in the 6th house. This indicates that you are a proud coworker. You might even talk in a condescending voice sometimes or boss other people around. You like to be the one in charge. But you still do it in a diplomatic way due to so much Libra energy. With Cancer here, you need a lot of emotional connection to your work. Your day job needs to be emotionally fulfilling for you. You have Taurus North Node in the 3rd house. This indicates your life purpose and what you are here to learn in this lifetime. You need to learn how to stabilize and ground yourself. How to set your own value system. With 3rd house you might end up being a writer or a speaker or somehow work with communication and even foreign languages. With Aries in the 2nd and Capricorn Chiron you might not like the 9 to 5 job and would benefit from being your own boss and be self employed at certain points in your life. You also need to learn a steady, step by step approach to dealings with 3rd house, such as your relationship with your siblings, family relatives, neighbours, close friends, communication, talking, writing and speaking. You have Scorpio MC. Like I mentioned previously, you are a private person, general public, people on social media, your boss, teacher, mentors don’t know much about your personal life. You view this aspect as very private and intimate, so you don’t discuss it much. But most of your 10th house is already in Sagittarius. You might be seen as bluntly honest sometimes or like a bit of a preacher. You like to fight for truth and freedom. You might post or talk about religious, culture, current affairs or travelling on social media or when you’re in public settings. You have Sagittarius Pluto in the 11th house. You have intense hopes, wishes and desires for the future. To the point sometimes even scares you a bit. You might dream of “freedom” in whichever form this comes for you, either financial freedom, travelling or expanding your mind and horizon. You might even like the idea of a bit more unconventional, spiritual, “boho” lifestyle.

ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS You have Chiron in Capricorn in the 12th house. There is a wound when it comes to your career. And it is connected with your Saturn in the 6th house. You might not like working for others or in a team. You might dislike the dread of a daily grind. You might even suffer health issues because of your job and dislike of the working environment! You have Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter currently transiting your 12th house. This means you might have had trouble sleeping or you reconsidered and evaluated endings, got some closure with certain topics, someone might have even died in your circle of acquaintances. You might find yourself thinking more about spirituality, endings, closures, suffering, sadness, grieff. You might isolate more at this time (not just due to corona, since the transit is around 1 and a half to two years long). You might like to spend more time on your solitary hobbies or work alone. You could also be dealing with forgiveness a lot at this time. You might find it harder to take action and be assertive. It’s like you’re more passive. You have Sagittarius Part of Fortune in the 11th house. Your friends, friend circle can benefit you too! You might learn through them a lot or expand your understanding and knowledge. You might like to travel with your friends often! You have Taurus Lilith in the 4th house. Here is where your “bad” side shows. You might be overindulging, a bit lazy and idle at home. You might be also more stubborn, highly opinionated at home or with your family members. You have Scorpio Juno in the 10th house. This indicates your ideal soulmate or ideal partner, be it platonic or romantic. They need to be intense, mysterious, hard to figure out, reliable, loyal, hard workers, responsible. They need to have deep desires and aspirations and goals. They need to be ambitious. You have Cancer Ceres in the 6th house. This represents how you wish to be nurtured and how you nurture others. You like to feed others or share food with them and really listen to them. You might like small acts of kindness and do little errands for them. You like to be appreciated and respected. You might like to form family-like bonds with others.

CHART RULER

Your chart ruler is Uranus. The chart ruler of the 1st house is in the 1st house. This means you are your own creator of your destiny. Your personality, ego might develop through your own life experiences and characters traits. Only you can give the life you want to yourself. Here is more on this topic of life purpose by an excellent fellow astrologer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HnMdFJeXR0

HOUSE RULERS

The ruler of the 1st house is in the 1st house. You express yourself through the way you look. You express yourself through clothing and makeup. The image you project affects your ability to navigate through life. The ruler of the 2nd house is in the 1st house. You spend money on haircuts, manicures, facials and clothes. You earn money with your appearance. Self-esteem has an effect on your behavior and mannerisms. Your appearance makes you look wealthy. The ruler of the 3rd house is in the 1st house. Early education experiences shape the way that you present yourself. You like to talk about yourself. Talking, writing, singing, gossiping and diary writing are part of your personality. An interest in these activities is one of the first things people notice about you. The ruler of the 4th house is in the 9th house. You live far away from your family. You feel rooted when you gain knowledge. Home life affects your ability to travel and have foreign experiences. The ruler of the 5th house is in the 8th house. Creative talents and gifts are hidden. Hobbies revolve around the taboo or occult. The ruler of the 6th house is in the 8th house. The daily work environment must serve your need to form deep relationships. You use your knowledge of diet, nutrition and exercise to help other people transform. You want an intense work environment. The ruler of the 7th house is in the 9th house. Partners help you expand your horizons. Your partner needs to be broad-minded. You want to be with someone who likes to discuss philosophical topics. Your open enemies are people from other cultural or religious backgrounds. The ruler of the 8th house is in the 8th house. You enter sexual relationships for sex. You get emotionally entangled with other people to form deep connections. Your attitude to life and death affects your ability to deeply connect with other people. The ruler of the 9th house is in the 9th house. You find meaning by devising your own personal belief system. You travel to expand your horizons. You gain wisdom by learning about religion. You find meaning in higher education. The ruler of the 10th house is in the 11th house. You expect your friends to be ambitious. You choose friends who have won awards and made achievements. Your true vocation involves the structure of organizations and groups. You have a professional approach to the groups you get involved with. You want to be in a profession that has an audience. The ruler of the 11th house is in the 7th house. You want your partner to have the same long term hopes and dreams. You want to reform attitudes to marriage. You want your partner to approve of your friends. People you meet over the internet have the potential to become significant partners. You bring your friends into your significant relationships. You commit to clubs and groups. The ruler of the 12th house is in the 6th house. You experience sorrow and loss through health issues. Being alone too much causes health issues. You have an imaginative approach to diet and health. You desire to escape from daily life. You want to merge with your work.

#astrology #natal chart #chart reading #astroismypassion #chart interpretation #birth chart

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vdayucla · 4 years ago

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A letter for 2 October 2020

Dear journal,

I got big news this week. It's not about my ex-partner, though she's inadvertently involved in ways I'll describe later. Anyway, I've tried since August to get a job at a company that provides support for expectant or breastfeeding mums. This week, exactly 2 months later, I finally got a verbal offer.

I haven't announced it to many people yet, because I want a formal offer in my hand first. I've seen offers rescinded before, back in March, when I almost got a job at a union but a brainless reference bungled my reference check and my offer was withdrawn. The breastfeeding company is doing a reference check on me right now, but I have no reason to think it'll go badly like last time. I listed my ex-partner as a reference, and she's pledged to give a good reference, though I'm sure she's annoyed at needing to give one. Still, it shows she's able to be civil.

I'm getting this job under unprecedented circumstances, though. First, I'm surprised I got a job in a pandemic-wracked recession where almost a tenth of Americans are unemployed. My current employer already slashed my salary twice in an effort to stay afloat. My pay covers rent, food and nothing more. Thankfully I still get health insurance, but obviously I wanted better for myself, and now I have a job that at least intersects with my background in maternal healthcare.

Second, this is the first time I've gotten a job whilst working another job. In my previous four job hunts, unemployment forced me to hunt. This time, underemployment forced my hand, but at least I had some income to allay my desperation and keep myself level-headed. And I managed to find a job amidst a crushing recession.

Third, this job will be wholly remote. This company has never had a physical office. So I'm faced with a weird opportunity: I could continue working my current job whilst also working this remote job through the Internet.

I'm considering it because I don't do much at my current job. My salary was slashed twice because business has slowed, and it shows in my workload. Before, I spent hours each day on writing product descriptions for new products and launching them on Amazon. Now I barely have anything to write or launch. I come to the office, answer emails, write some copy, and then do my own stuff for the rest of the day.

Besides, my office is mere miles from my flat. It's more comfortable than working from my bedroom, where I barely have a chair and my laptop is slow. My office has a padded chair, fast computer, two monitors and even AC. Heck, I have more privacy at my office than at home, where I live with a creepy 50-year-old who believes conspiracies and never cleans the kitchen after using it. (I have no qualms about eating from his pantry, a la Parasite.) I think working my new, remote job from my poorly paid but comfortable office might be doable.

I'll see if I can make it work. If I can't, I'll quit my job and deal with the First World problem of working from home with a slow laptop . Either way, my income will improve. I'll finally be able to eat and thrive instead of surviving, at least financially.

I'm trying to thrive emotionally too. I've been depressed since July, when my relationship suddenly collapsed over the phone within minutes and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye or hold my partner one last time. I know my actions caused the breakup, but my friends think she overreacted and is partly to blame.

Regardless, I need to boost my self-esteem, and I'm trying by dating people through OkCupid. It's as full of ghosts and flakes as before, but this time I'm trying to maintain discipline and message only people who aren't too attractive, to decrease the chances of rejection. According to past acquaintances, I'm attractive "for my race", but my race in general isn't considered to be "sexy". So I try to find people with extensive education because I hypothesise that they're less likely to stereotype me. So far I've had one virtual date per week. We'll see if I can maintain that.

But what I want more than to date strangers on the Internet is to mend my relationship with my ex-partner. She has her negatives, but I think her positives outweigh her negatives, and I want to at least nurture a friendship between us. Her birthday will be 9 days after the election, 1.5 months from now. I think I'll sing and send a song to her, as I have in the past, then ask if she's open to brunch at a lakeside cafe. If she rejects me, I guess friendship won't be possible. But if she accepts, maybe we can salvage something. We'll see.

But if I do find a new relationship through OkCupid instead, I know I'll want something different versus before. I want less jealousy. I want fewer arguments over having too many opposite-gender or too-attractive friends. I want someone who shows as much interest in my interests as I show in hers. I want someone who isn't so obsessed with her fertility that she thinks becoming pregnant is more important than finding a new job.

But that's in addition to her many good qualities too. I liked how she tried to bring me closer to her family. I liked how we made meals together. I liked how we inspired each other to be our best selves, physically through fitness or mentally by learning new things. I liked how we would awaken beside each other and start our days with lovely smiles. I loved our road trips to places we'd never experienced before.

This is a challenging time for me, emotionally. I'm just thankful that something in my life, i.e. my career, is going okay.

#PERSONAL

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rhiannon-nichole · 5 years ago

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Having a chronic illness is hard- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Add being a mom, wife, and dealing with feeling like I’ve been sawed in half from a failed spinal fusion is the cherry on top.

Lets start off with the positives!!! The girls are both adjusting well to being back in the same school and thriving! Both are getting amazing grades and making lots of new friends! Alexi is on the cheer team and loving it, and we are her biggest fans! Kyndal isn’t a sport/club kinda gal, but is excited to be a care buddy to the special education program in the coming months! She is so good with kiddos with disabilities and has such a sweet soul!

Jon has been fishing A LOT! I’m so thrilled he has found his passion to be on the water again and has an outlet for self care! Being the rock for our family can take a lot out on one person. He’s had to really step up his game with being a caretaker, the main source of income, and assume a lot of the responsibilities that we used to share. We are working on adapting to my limitations and finding a happy medium. The girls help as well, but it’s still a lot on him. Burnout is a REAL thing, and his time on the water recharges his soul! I am so blessed to have him as my partner, and we just celebrated 13 years married and 22 years in love!

Speaking of recharging the soul. I’ve been struggling emotionally lately. Shame, anger, sadness- all related to my disability and the limitations it places on me. It has changed the course of my life, of which I have no control of. I worked so hard to carve out my future to contribute equally financially, follow my passion to serve others in my career, and to be a hands on mother/wife while making amazing memories. All of that was robbed from me. I have being seeing a therapist, which has been so helpful; removed toxic people from my life, and try everyday to celebrate the small things and stay as positive as I can. I’m doing my best to make memories that make the dark ones seem not so bad. My most exciting thing to report is that I am now volunteering in the special care nursery with babies who are born addicted, and other sweet angels who need extra love. Basically I’m a professional snuggler!!! (... and I change a diaper time to time and help with feeds). I told Jon, I feel like I need these babies as much as they need me. My disability does not keep me from being able to hold a 2-8lb baby against my chest as they listen to my heartbeat and I rock them back to sleep. My disability does not limit the human heart to love and nurture infants who are innocently battling the withdrawal from substances. I am so blessed to have this opportunity and can’t even begin to explain the joy it brings my soul.

I have had a plethora of doctor appointments. They seem to all hit at once. Without going into detail about what’s already been completed, here’s what to expect over the next two weeks. I have a MRI on my cervical spine to determine the progression of the two disc protrusions at the C5-7 level. I’ve been having an increase in symptoms and it’s been 5 years that I’ve been placing bandaids on the problem. Hoping I can keep going without having to rely on medical intervention and have another fusion. I have my 6mo post op CT on my lumbar spine to determine the level of bone growth. This will also serve as the last set of images prior to scheduling my fusion revision. The surgeon will remove the disc cage that slipped out 5mm when I was two days post op, and place a smaller cage and plate it to keep it from slipping again. This should decrease a significant amount of pain and allow me to regain some strength to be able to lose the weight I’ve packed on from four major back to back surgeries in a 20mo span. The plan is to have this surgery before the end of the year. I also have a mammogram and a MRA of my aorta. I’m praying for positive results for those two tests over anything!

Kyndal has her MRI on her spine coming up too. She will need to be sedated because she will be in the tube for a little over two hours. My decision to schedule my revision surgery will be contingent on her needs. We are praying for positive results. Her a-typical scoliosis is 1/100 and we are imaging to rule out chiari, tethered cord, and possible tumor in the canal. We are also looking for rotation of the vertebra, stenosis, and nerve root obstruction. Best case scenario is none of this is present and we monitor the curve every 4mo for the next 6 years. Her follow up is 11/11, which is a wishing time (11:11), and I’m taking that as good juju!!! 😊❤️

This is our life. Crazy and chaotic, but we are in it together and take whatever life throws at us with as much positivity as we can.

#ehlers danlos syndrome #silentillness #strength #eds #invisibleillness #inspiration #pots #ehlersdanloslife #edsproblems #blog #blogger #spinalproblems #chaos #positivethinking #positive #havefaith #faith

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dartmythcollege-blog · 5 years ago

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TW: SA

Dear President Hanlon (and also, To Whom It May Concern),

As a sophomore at Dartmouth, I was sexually assaulted after a fraternity party. This experience has impacted my life physically, emotionally, and financially in ways I could never imagine. The alienation I faced from 2005 to 2007 at Dartmouth as a sexual assault victim who reported the attack was harrowing and demoralizing in many ways. Once full of hopes and dreams that I would be a graduate of a prestigious Ivy League college, my experience completely took the wind out of my sails as a young adult preparing to forge my way in the world.

After my sexual assault, which was reported to police but not ultimately prosecuted, my Dartmouth peers wrote horrible things on the Internet about wishing I was dead. I faced regular shame and ridicule which I have internalized for years. At one point toward the end of my time at Dartmouth, I honestly feared for my safety and had to seek refuge in a safe dorm on campus. On graduation day, I barely walked across the stage, teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Part of the reason it took so long for me to come to terms with the level of abuse I accepted at Dartmouth was that I left college during stressful times in late 2007 when it was very difficult for young graduates to find work. It was arguably even harder for a young graduate like me who suffered sexual and emotional trauma and was effectively “cast out” from the Dartmouth network. Ever since, I have had extreme financial challenges for most of the time (and while at school I was on a scholarship and came from a bankrupt family with very limited income). Dealing with this reality while working to recover from abuse has been difficult to bear.

Willing myself to do the typical Ivy League career-building things to land a solid job after graduation proved nearly impossible. On top of it, I was suffering from crippling anxiety and depression stemming from experiencing severe trauma without a safety net. I felt— for good reason, I might add— that it was completely unsafe to speak about my past experiences. When it came time to network and schmooze under these extreme circumstances, I couldn’t bring myself to lie to people’s faces when they asked me about my time at Dartmouth. Many times after a job interview I would be reduced to tears, after having to keep a straight face with an interviewer while simultaneously ruminating about the difficult experiences which scarred my psyche.

People would enviously remark on my Dartmouth education during a job interview, about what a great experience it must have been. I wanted them to know the whole story, about how much suffering and sacrifice was required to ultimately hold that fancy parchment diploma. But it was a story that stayed buried for many years, hidden by shame and a desire to pick myself up by my bootstraps so to speak, to turn the other cheek and find steady work and succeed in spite of the things that happened to me.

To this day I have yet to find a permanent job that has offered me health insurance benefits— my English degree is just as unmarketable as everyone warned me it would be when I was working to obtain it. And on top of it all, I have learned that the very English degree I worked so hard to earn is not even of much use when it comes to speaking truth about all of these painful and terrible things now that the time has come for revelation and reckoning, which is long overdue.

I cannot even use my English degree to define what happened to me as “sexual assault” and “rape” without encountering significant legal risk. Whether I am allowed to identify my attacker as a rapist who committed sexual assault is currently up for debate in federal court. Even though those definitions are clear and defined by the FBI, and even though the crimes I reported to the police fall well within those definitional guidelines.

My prestigious degree should at the very least render me capable and competent to define subjects on clearly defined and cited terms. What was the point of me earning a degree in Creative Writing if I cannot even use it to write about something deeply personal of extreme importance, which seems to be increasingly relevant to the shared experiences of many other victims? What power does my degree have if my very attacker can use the power his own Dartmouth degree has afforded him to effectively render me mute?

As victims we are damned in silence and anonymity, and damned in speaking and emerging from the shadows. We are damned as we are shamed into pretending everything is OK, and damned as we are implicitly asked to hold our lips and make nice anytime anyone asks about Dartmouth. Rather than take this significant moment to truly engage with the victims of the community, Dartmouth has acted to create policies to encourage people to move on and stop talking about the problem, long before it has truly been solved. Dartmouth has explicitly stated that the class action against them should be divided, and to me the strategy for dividing the voices of victims to me seems clear. If we are divided, we cannot stand together. Things can get settled and agreements can be signed to keep quiet. Things can easily get buried once again.

It seems there is no fair path forward for victims to seek reconciliation, as victims seem to be judged more harshly by the community than those who committed heinous acts of sexual abuse in the first place. This demonization comes no matter how we behave as victims, which is why it is no surprise that some victims would choose to remain anonymous in the face of such retraumatizing tactics.

The moment I began speaking out again, I began to face the threat of a very expensive lawsuit. As a result of the limited ways I began writing publicly about my experiences, I am accused in a court of law of being a lying, defaming, and gold digging opportunist, among other things. Members of the homegrown terrorist “incel” community have made statements about how I need “to be raped and burned alive.” One said he wanted to find me and “slit [my] throat,” and fantasized about hurting my family. All because I now face the challenge of my assailant accusing me of defamation, and attempting to put all of my speech and my life on trial as the price to pay for uttering forbidden words shielded under a veil of omertà. I sometimes wonder if the stakes would be lower if I’d joined the Mafia instead of attending Dartmouth.

Back when I was at Dartmouth in the aftermath of my assault, I was unable to receive psychological care at the college because there was an emergency shortage of therapists and psychiatrists available. There was an impossibly long waiting list, and ultimately I was unable to receive the care that I needed and deserved. Which is why the accusations being leveled against the Psychological and Brain Sciences department are, to me, beyond the pale. Abusers were sanctioned and paid by the college to continue academic research in the field of psychology, and meanwhile victims were being swept under the rug and denied psychological care.

To say this is a lost opportunity in the field of psychology is an understatement. For me, poverty and governmental policy kept me from accessing necessary therapy after graduation for several years. It was only years later under the care of many therapists that I ultimately began to fully accept and come to terms with the truth about Dartmouth, which is something I ran from in early adulthood and tried unsuccessfully to forget. I sometimes wonder what my healing process would have looked like if I had been afforded community support and an adequate safety net.

I fear a generation of future female leaders has been lost to the reality of scapegoating and re-victimization. These people could change the world if allowed to come together and given the space and resources to fully heal. We have not been given that opportunity, and we have been divided and silenced to weaken our cause. We have not been treated as stakeholders nor have we been given a seat at the table to foment change.

We are the voices that are needed to find lasting solutions which honor and rectify the lives of victims. Dartmouth can do much more to provide a platform and support to build a strong future for its victims in spite of the wrongs that happened to us at the college. Dartmouth needs to step up to recognize this festering wound at the core of its institution, and recognize the harmful experiences inflicted on its own community members. Professing ignorance, as the administrators do, seems to me almost like a cruel joke.

The first time I went to the mental hospital seeking treatment for a psychological breakdown, I met another troubled former Dartmouth student, Alix LeClair, in the women’s wing with me. She was having similar visions as I was about a resurgence of divine feminine energy, and the need for women to step forward and reclaim the sexual power they had relinquished to society and to others. We bonded over these ideals and compelling dreams and visions of an enlightened future, which the medical community was all too quick to label as sheer madness.

I came to find out she had also been abused at Dartmouth, and during her time there had protested and banged on the President’s door to his mansion late at night, to urgently give her message about honoring the feminine and dismantling the toxic patriarchy within the institution. At the time, I did not grasp it all and was focused on my own recovery. She and I went our separate ways after I was discharged and I never came back to see her at the hospital. I wish I had, because she died suddenly and unexpectedly a few months after we met. My good friend and sex educator Anna Zelinsky ‘06 still has a watch that Alix gave to me in the hospital, which reminds me that the time is always now and that I can no longer afford to avoid doing the difficult work of confronting the scary and difficult truth about Dartmouth College.

I have spent the past thirteen years of my life unpacking everything that happened to me during my time at Dartmouth. This unpacking has sent me several places including the federal court in the Eastern District of New York, cost tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars along with countless hours, and introduced me to dozens of other women who have suffered in ways all too similar to the ways I have suffered. Unraveling all of this has come at a great price, but it has also brought me closer to finding meaningful connections in the face of a lot of pain.

The time has come for Dartmouth to come to terms with the very real lives of the people who have been harmed by sexual violence and grotesque harassment on its campus. Because none of those costs are ever referenced in the marketing materials or the financial aid paperwork— and even with a scholarship, for me the price of losing my sexual autonomy as well as my voice has proven to be far too great of a price to bear.

At the very least, Dartmouth’s victims need representation and support. At the most, actions should be taken in a good faith effort to bring us closer to wholeness. Covering up the past and marching forward with new policy band-aids is not going to solve the problem of institutional rot, nor will it address the plight victims have faced and ultimately still face to this day. Dartmouth needs to take the opportunity to rise to the occasion of this “Call to Lead” they have foisted upon the community, take heed of this “red letter day,” and do better.

Monica Morrison, ‘07

#dartmyth250

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pheanirarts · 6 years ago

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Thank you (+ personal stuff)

A couple of days ago, I reached 50 watchers on FA. Right now, while I am typing this over, I have 29 watchers here on Tumblr =) To all of you: Thank you sooo, so much for this! I really love it that there are people out there who enjoy what I do. It makes me feel so happy, I could actually cry. ♥

Also: About my lack of output and me stopping to take requests (wall of text incoming): There are not a lot of things going on in my life right now, but the stuff I have to deal with is quite challenging for me. I started studying at university this October and things have not been great so far, besides the friendly society. At least most of my fellow students don't act like disrespectful kids (anymore).

The more I get into the study material the more I think about what I want to accomplish for my future. And I am starting to feel like I am actually too stupid to study on a level that I need to keep up with the university's demands. So far, my personal everyday schedule is stuffed with learning and working for my studies. At the moment, Friday is the only day where I force myself to take off the afternoon/evening to follow my hobbies; drawing, composing music and maaaybe some video gaming. I still scribble something everyday, which usually leads to me staying up until late night hours so I can have some personal non-study-time, even during the week. And since I don't have much success with university, trying to imagine what my future looks like ends up in me being exhausted; not only physically (because of all the stiff sitting) but especially mentally and emotionally.

So, right now, I am making up my mind about what my future goals are. And honestly, I don't have a clue. The only thing I DO know is that I don't want to go back working in my educated (?) profession. The pay is -hands down- shit and the amount of work, as well as most of the superiors, are in no comparison to that. Also, the payment is one of the major reasons why started studying at all. As an example: My older brother finished his studies around the same time as I finished my traineeship. His net wage is already higher than my gross salary would be after working in an office for 10 years...

I would love to be more creatively involved, but I am not sure how this would work out. I feel like I am already too old to start becoming serious about drawing/composing professionally. Artists are popping up everywhere, who are a couple of years younger and already much farther ahead of me in terms of quality and quantity. Also, I believe the amount of work I would need to put into becoming "better" and branding myself and doing all the work around being something like a digital artist would be too much for me to handle while I am still studying. Sadly, It would be the same if I (re-)started working in my educated profession. What I wouldn't give to have started drawing/composing when I was around 15 or so... it's really frustrating. However, I am going to continue following my creative hobbies. It would be my dream to draw (and compose) professionally, or at least be in a creative occupation like that. But prioritizing a creative career would most likely cost me any kind of support or foundation to make a living, so it's not possible for me.

What I could try, though, is to slowly work myself up to a point where art can support me financially. But I cannot estimate how long this would take.

Anyways, if you read through all of this, thank you for your time. I know that there are tons of people with similar problems; I just felt like sharing it this time.

Thank you again for being part of my experience on this site. =) Have a nice day.

#personal #journal #thinking #thoughts #future plans #plans #struggle #information #thanks #thank you

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gordonwilliamsweb · 3 years ago

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Damage to Children’s Education — And Their Health — Could Last a Lifetime

Before the pandemic, 16-year-old Na’ryen Cayou had everything he needed. He had his own room. A partial scholarship to a boys’ prep school. A spot playing trombone in the marching band, performing in parades all over New Orleans.

Then covid-19 blew through the Big Easy like a hurricane, washing away nearly everything that helped him feel safe and secure. Schools shut down. His mom lost her job and couldn’t make the rent. Their landlord evicted them.

Na’ryen and his mom now live with his grandmother. His mom sleeps on one couch; he sleeps on the other. He spent half the school year in virtual learning rather than in class with friends. Although he has struggled with math and chemistry, his mother, Nakia Lewis, said there’s no money for a tutor.

“He went through a real deep depression,” said Lewis, 45, a single mother with two older daughters living on their own. “This is nothing anyone could have prepared them for.”

As Americans crowd into restaurants, line up at movie theaters and pack their bags for summer travel, people are understandably eager to put the pandemic behind them. Yet kids like Na’ryen won’t rebound quickly. Some won’t recover at all.

After more than a year of isolation, widespread financial insecurity and the loss of an unprecedented amount of classroom time, experts say many of the youngest Americans have fallen behind socially, academically and emotionally in ways that could harm their physical and mental health for years or even decades.

“This could affect a whole generation for the rest of their lives,” said Dr. Jack Shonkoff, a pediatrician and director of the Center for the Developing Child at Harvard University. “All kids will be affected. Some will get through this and be fine. They will learn from it and grow. But lots of kids are going to be in big trouble.”

Many kids will go back to school this fall without having mastered the previous year’s curriculum. Some kids have disappeared from school altogether, and educators worry that more students will drop out. Between school closures and reduced instructional time, the average U.S. child has lost the equivalent of five to nine months of learning during the pandemic, according to a report from McKinsey & Co.

Educational losses have been even greater for some minorities. Black and Hispanic students — whose parents are more likely to have lost jobs and whose schools were less likely to reopen for in-person instruction — missed six to 12 months of learning, according to the McKinsey report.

Missing educational opportunities doesn’t just deprive kids of better careers; it can also cost them years of life. In study after study, researchers have found that people with less education die younger than those with more.

Schools across the country were closed for an average of 54 days in spring 2020, and many provided little to no virtual instruction, said Dr. Dimitri Christakis, director of the Center for Child Health, Behavior and Development at the Seattle Children’s Research Institute. A study he co-authored found the learning that kids missed during that time could shorten an elementary school boy’s life by eight months and a girl’s by more than five months.

The total loss of life would be even larger when factoring in the loss of instructional time in the school year that just ended, Christakis said. “We’ve interrupted children’s education, and it’s going to have a significant impact on their health and longevity,” he said. “The effects will linger a very long time.”

Assaulted on All Sides

The double hit from the pandemic, which has impoverished millions of children and deprived them of classroom time, will be too much for some to overcome.

“Living in poverty, even as a child, has health consequences for decades to come,” said Dr. Hilary Seligman, a professor at the University of California-San Francisco. “Children in poverty will have higher risk of obesity, cardiovascular disease and diabetes.”

A growing body of research shows that poverty reshapes the way children’s brains develop, altering both the structure of the brain and the chemicals that transmit signals. These changes can alter how children react to stress and reduce their long-term health and educational achievements.

“Adversity literally shapes the developing brain,” said Shonkoff, of Harvard. “It affects your memory, your ability to organize information, to control impulses.”

Chronic stress in children can lead to persistent inflammation that damages the immune system, raises blood sugar and accelerates hardening of the arteries. The heart disease that kills someone in midlife can actually begin in childhood, Shonkoff said.

“What happens to children early on doesn’t just affect early language and school readiness, but the early foundations of lifelong health,” he said.

More Kids Going Hungry

The pandemic has deprived millions of children of school-related services that normally blunt the harm caused by poverty.

From March to May 2020, students missed more than 1.1 billion free or reduced-price meals that would have been provided in school.

Children who experience even occasional “food insecurity” suffer two to four times as many health problems as other kids at the same income level, said Dr. Deborah Frank, director of the Grow Clinic for Children at Boston Medical Center.

Kids who don’t consistently eat nutritious meals are more likely to develop anemia, more likely to be hospitalized and more susceptible to lead poisoning, Frank said. They also are more likely to behave aggressively and suffer from hyperactivity, depression and anxiety.

The consequences of food insecurity last well into adulthood, she said, increasing the risk of substance abuse, arrest and suicidal thoughts. “There’s going to be educational and emotional fallout that won’t disappear right away,” Frank said. “These kids have endured a year and a half of deprivation. You can’t sweep all that under the rug.”

Kids at the Breaking Point

Young people are already showing signs of strain.

The proportion of emergency room visits related to mental health among kids 12 to 17 increased 31% from 2019 to 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Although overall suicide deaths haven’t increased during the pandemic, as many feared, teens are making more attempts. ERs treated 50% more adolescent girls and 4% more boys for suspected suicide attempts in February and March 2021 than in those months the year before.

Diagnoses of obsessive-compulsive disorder have soared 41% among girls 12 to 18, according to a June report from Epic Health Research Network. Diagnoses of eating disorders have jumped 38% among girls and 5% among boys.

Many children separated from their peers during the pandemic have been depressed and anxious, said Dr. Lisa Tuchman, chief of adolescent and young adult medicine at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C.

“Mental illness thrives in isolation,” Tuchman said. “The longer the behaviors and thoughts persist, the more entrenched they become and the harder they are to interrupt.”

Falling Behind in School

The loss of educational opportunities has been far more extensive than many realize. Although the majority of students were back in classrooms by the end of the last school year, most spent a large part of the year in virtual learning.

And while some students thrive in virtual classes, studies generally find they provide an inferior education to in-person instruction, partly because students are less engaged. Just 60% of students consistently participated in distance learning, recent surveys found.

Test scores show students have fallen behind in math and reading. And those scores likely underestimate the damage, given that some of the most vulnerable kids weren’t able to report to school for the exams.

An estimated 3 million marginalized students — including those who are homeless or in foster care — received no instruction during the past school year, either because they had no computer or internet access, had to leave school to work or faced other challenges, according to Bellwether Education Partners, a nonprofit that focuses on disadvantaged students.

Less-educated students can expect to earn less after they leave school.

Lost educational time will cost the average child $61,000 to $82,000 in lifetime earnings, McKinsey concluded. Lifetime earning losses are predicted to be twice as great for Black and Hispanic students as for whites.

“Many of the teens I see have given up on school and are working instead,” said Dr. Sara Bode, a pediatrician at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. “It’s helping their families in the short term, but what does it mean for their future?”

Learning From Katrina

Experience with natural disasters and teacher strikes suggests that even relatively short interruptions in education can set children back years, said McKinsey analyst Jimmy Sarakatsannis, co-author of a 2020 report, “COVID-19 and Student Learning in the United States: The Hurt Could Last a Lifetime.”

When Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans in 2005, for example, it disrupted the education of 187,000 Louisiana public school students.

Katrina left 80% of the city under water. Although New Orleans students missed an average of five weeks of learning, children wound up two years behind peers not affected by the hurricane, said Douglas Harris, professor and chair of economics at Tulane University.

Na’ryen Cayou was just 2 months old when Katrina submerged his house, leaving the family homeless. He contracted whooping cough in an emergency shelter, the first of four moves in eight months. His sister, O’re’ion Lewis, then 4, didn’t attend school at all that year. When she finally began prekindergarten at age 5, the other kids “were already ahead of her,” mom Nakia Lewis said. For a time, teachers even mislabeled O’re’ion as having dyslexia. It took five years — from prekindergarten until fourth grade — before she finally caught up with her peers, Lewis said.

It will be years before researchers know how far behind the pandemic will have left American kids.

After Katrina, 14% to 20% of students never returned to school, according to the McKinsey report. “As kids fall further behind, they feel hopeless; they don’t engage,” said Sarakatsannis, one of its authors.

Under normal circumstances, high school students who miss more than 10 days of school are 36% more likely to drop out. Based on the number of absences during the pandemic, dropout rates could increase by 2% to 9%, with up to 1.1 million kids quitting school, Sarakatsannis said.

Communities need to find ways to repair the damage children have suffered, said Dr. Gabrielle Shapiro, chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Children, Adolescents and their Families. “How we behave as a society now will determine the depth of the impact on the younger generation.”

Nakia Lewis is hoping for better days.

O’re’ion is now 20 and studying nursing at community college. Although her classes were virtual last year, she expects to attend class in person in the fall.

Lewis recently landed a job as a manager at a Shoney’s restaurant and is looking for an affordable home. She looks forward to reclaiming her furniture, which went into storage — at $375 a month — when she was evicted.

She said she’s relieved that Na’ryen’s mood has improved. He found a summer job working part time at a food market and will begin marching band practice this summer.

“He is happy and I’m happy for him,” Lewis said. “Now I just have to worry about everything else.”

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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This story can be republished for free (details).

Damage to Children’s Education — And Their Health — Could Last a Lifetime published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

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stephenmccull · 3 years ago

Text

Damage to Children’s Education — And Their Health — Could Last a Lifetime

“He went through a real deep depression,” said Lewis, 45, a single mother with two older daughters living on their own. “This is nothing anyone could have prepared them for.”

Assaulted on All Sides

The double hit from the pandemic, which has impoverished millions of children and deprived them of classroom time, will be too much for some to overcome.

“Adversity literally shapes the developing brain,” said Shonkoff, of Harvard. “It affects your memory, your ability to organize information, to control impulses.”

“What happens to children early on doesn’t just affect early language and school readiness, but the early foundations of lifelong health,” he said.

More Kids Going Hungry

The pandemic has deprived millions of children of school-related services that normally blunt the harm caused by poverty.

From March to May 2020, students missed more than 1.1 billion free or reduced-price meals that would have been provided in school.

Kids at the Breaking Point

Young people are already showing signs of strain.

The proportion of emergency room visits related to mental health among kids 12 to 17 increased 31% from 2019 to 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Mental illness thrives in isolation,” Tuchman said. “The longer the behaviors and thoughts persist, the more entrenched they become and the harder they are to interrupt.��

Falling Behind in School

Less-educated students can expect to earn less after they leave school.

Learning From Katrina

When Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans in 2005, for example, it disrupted the education of 187,000 Louisiana public school students.

It will be years before researchers know how far behind the pandemic will have left American kids.

Nakia Lewis is hoping for better days.

O’re’ion is now 20 and studying nursing at community college. Although her classes were virtual last year, she expects to attend class in person in the fall.

She said she’s relieved that Na’ryen’s mood has improved. He found a summer job working part time at a food market and will begin marching band practice this summer.

“He is happy and I’m happy for him,” Lewis said. “Now I just have to worry about everything else.”

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

Damage to Children’s Education — And Their Health — Could Last a Lifetime published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

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deanndotson · 4 years ago

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What to Do If You’re Getting Abused at Home

Domestic violence is much more common than even marriage these days. Two people create a relationship and move in together with one another, but one of them is mostly always abusing the other through verbal abuse, if not physical. And many times, the other person can also be unaware of the fact they are getting abused in the hands of the abuser. Domestic violence is common and mostly not reported for many reasons by the victim to continue the relationship or to keep living the same life.

Abuse at home can be harmful to the victim in every way possible. As you cannot relax at home and have to succumb to draining abuse from the person you care about a lot. There is also no place to hide, and you never know when the abuser becomes agitated and attacks again. In such an instance, life can become hard to live, let alone to progress happily in. For this reason, getting out of such a toxic environment and relationship is necessary.

Keep reading the following guide to know your rights and whether you’re being abused or not, along with steps to take for your resurrection from such a damaging lifestyle:

Signs of Domestic Violence

Violence in closed walls of a home or abuse can come in several different ways and not just physical. If you think that you’re being isolated from the world or questioning your personality due to your partner’s statements about you, you could be suffering from other types of abuses. Different kinds of abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, spiritual, and physical abuse. However, what you’re going through abuse that doesn’t fall into these categories, make sure to identify it as well for the better of your wellbeing.

Hence, abuse can be challenging to classify, but not so much to identify it happening. You may be getting the idea that your partner has been or started to abuse you in a certain way. To specify it, check for acts of aggression, dissatisfaction, jealousy or possessiveness, threats, physical or sexual violence, and so on from them. These are the leading indicators and reasons behind your partner’s abuse and can be of different altitudes from mild to severe, which can be highly dangerous.

Remember to Blame the Right Person

Your spouse might conduct joint abuses of physical and verbal on you and try to convince you that it is your fault for them to be doing so. This is actually emotional abuse and is harmful to people with previous mental problems. Thus, trusting that your partner is the same friendly person you knew when you started going out with them can make you believe their words.

Don’t let these statements get the best of you, and even if you did before, it’s time to place the blame on the wrongdoer and them only. Make sure that you’re firm on the idea of who is the wrongdoer in the household and who is the victim – you. This can be your first step to a better life without abuse and overshadowing of a wrong person that doesn’t know how to treat you right.

See if Your Partner Wants to Redeem

Making the decision to leave your partner if you have a history with them or a family with kids can be more challenging than many people think. By now, people, even your loved ones, would have judged you for not leaving an abusive relationship like this. But it’s not their fault either if they don’t understand your dependability on your partner and the reason behind you being together with them. For this reason, if separating still feels complicated, and the abuse is subsiding with chances of your partner redeeming for their actions, you may not need to remove yourself.

However, many times abusers have returned to their previous behaviors even after displaying a sense of responsibility for their wrongdoing and pleading for forgiveness. So you need to understand the patterns of your partner and identify the real from fake. And if your spouse really wants to make things better with you and create a thriving household, you can confide in them again after careful catharsis and advice from loved ones.

Check for Programs Available to You

As your partner takes to making amends with you and correcting their habits, not all is good until you can make sure so. You have the right to get justified and apologized for the misconduct imposed on you. For this reason, you can also make your partner join a program or counseling to help you two get through the dark part of your life together.

This can be of help for your partner to know your rights and present better behavior towards you. The recovery program can also help you overcome the feelings of anger and disappointment in your partner and forgive them easily. However, at any point, you think the program is not affecting your partner enough to stop the misconduct with you for good; it’s best to move away.

Know Your Rights

In the process of getting constantly verbally and emotionally abused, you can start to lose your self-worth and not know what your rights are. Everyone has a set of rights living in any country of the world as a human being and for their role career-wise and inside households. You must know all about the rights you are entitled to, to make a responsible decision of getting away from your abusive spouse for good and living a better life.

This is the Right Time to Get Help

If you have been waiting for the right time to plan an escape from the letdown of a person your spouse turned out to be; this is the right time. Before it’s too late, you have to make the decision right now to live an upright life and stop supporting someone who does nothing but pull you down. Please don’t wait for your abuser to get better because all they ever do is get worse by the day. You could end up getting hurt badly and develop a scar for life or ruin the life of your child if not taken the step to safety right now.

Face Your Worries

The reason that you are not able to leave and haven’t done so yet may be due to some guilt inside you for your abusive partner or your dependency on them. If there are still feelings lurking in you for them or other worries of leaving the household concerning your children’s’ future, make sure to deal with these uncertainties. Contact the right people who can arrange some things like a place to live, a job and some cash for you. If you require emotional support, you can get therapy or join a group of abuse victims and make some friends you can rely on.

Identify Safety and Worst Times for Your Abuse Partners

While you make preparations for your departure from your abuser, make sure that the situation at home isn’t too bad to stay for the time. You can be smart and create some safety schemes to remain safe from excessive abuse. Identify the times your abuser is the most agitated and refrain from things that push them to carry out abuse. Make sure that you are ready to face your abuser if they try anything harmful enough for you to get hurt. Hide weapons and devise safe places to be when the situation starts to get elevated.

Get Help with the Escape

Once you decide to escape from the dark place that your home had turned into, verify you have the right people backing you up and a safe place to return to. Ensure your escape plan is foolproof and one that can be executed quickly and without alarming the abuser. If your household includes children, train them again and again on the escape plan. Prepare a car to get away quickly.

Make sure to grab all your necessary possessions and the pieces of evidence against the abuse. Construct a list of all the emergency contacts you may need. It’s also best to contact some services in your situation to come to your rescue if things downside. You can also hire legal help from a reliable Orange County domestic violence lawyer to get support with your escape and further develop the court case against your wrongdoer. Do all this while using a different cell phone than yours, not to let the abuser doubt you, and be as discreet as possible.

Work Hard for a Better Future

Once you escape successfully from the abuser who made your life miserable and kept you from reaching better places in your life, you will have to work hard for a better experience. You may feel all sorts of feelings once you let go of the gloomiest part of your life and feel down. There may also be post-trauma depression, but you have to be a strong person for yourself and your kids if you have any and prepare for a better future.

You must get therapy as you start to build a new life so that all your past worries and unneeded feelings of guilt or fear find an escape. You can join support groups for yourself or your kids. There are also domestic violence programs for different people to help them deal with the damages and make things like employment and housing available you can take part in. Make sure to fight for your rights until the end. Strive for a better future with good education and employment.

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frankmwilliams25 · 4 years ago

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What to Do If You’re Getting Abused at Home

Keep reading the following guide to know your rights and whether you’re being abused or not, along with steps to take for your resurrection from such a damaging lifestyle:

Signs of Domestic Violence

Remember to Blame the Right Person

See if Your Partner Wants to Redeem

Check for Programs Available to You

Know Your Rights

This is the Right Time to Get Help

Face Your Worries

Identify Safety and Worst Times for Your Abuse Partners

Get Help with the Escape

Work Hard for a Better Future

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astroismypassion · 4 years ago

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hi!! saw that you’ve been having difficulties with the message section, I wouldn’t mind putting the reading on here

Hi!

Thank you for buying me this delicious hot beverage. I drank irish cream black coffee with rice milk while writing your interpretation. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing! And I listened to Leon Bridges - Shy while writing. ;)

Your dominant planets are: 1. Saturn, 2. Mercury and 3. Moon. Your dominant signs are: 1. Leo, 2. Aquarius and 3. Pisces. Your main mode is Cardinal. You are Air dominant.

FAMILY, SIBLINGS, EARLY LIFE

You have Cancer Sun in the 2nd house. Your father was a bit of a passive figure in the family. He likes to stay at home, indulge a bit, but he is also a hard worker. He values family and home. He can be moody and stubborn. You have Libra Moon in the 5th house. Your mother is kind, loving, playful and has a childlike spirit. You have Virgo Lilith in the 4th house. The “negative” side of Lilith could happen here. You might be over critical of your family members, nit picky, a bit controlling and bossy. You might be of help to them, but you expect this help returned. You might be a bit of a “user” at times. And expect your family members or siblings, share your possessions, items, belongings, even money with you. You have Sun square Moon. Your mother and father are quite different personalities wise. They have different characters and traits. They might have not agreed on the style of your upbringing or they were not in sync in the style of parenting you. You have very strongly aspected Sun. You might have felt a bit restricted, limited and not supported by your father. You might have felt like he didn’t give you enough praise and thank yous. You have a deep and complex relationship with your mother. You have Virgo IC. You learnt how to speak and read early on. You were a responsible and mature child. Parents emphasized realistic goals for you and to choose something practical to do in life. You liked to read as a child or your parents read to you often. If you have any siblings, they are Leo, Libra, Taurus, Virgo or Gemini.

PARTNERSHIPS AND FRIENDSHIPS

You have Leo Venus in the 3rd house. This is who you attract, what you value in yourself and others. You attract lively, childlike, talkative people. Who are outgoing, generous, kind and have an inner child. You like to shine in your local town, among your siblings, cousins and family relatives. You might be the popular, well liked cousin! You have Libra Mars in the 5th house. This is how you approach your crush, how you act, what you’re passionate about. You are a bit passive when it comes to taking action. But it��s still sly and calculating. You might flirt with people unintentionally. You like your attention reciprocated back. You might like someone, but then back off a bit and just study and observe them for a while. You can appear cold and detached. You like giving compliments to others. You have nice manners and dress well. You have a nature sense for fashion and know what looks good on you. You have Venus sextile Mars. You might be attracted to younger partners or partners who energize you. Someone who uplifts you, motivates you and brings you out of your shell. You have Venus opposite Jupiter. You might be over loving and over generous, especially when you’re in love. You could be too generous with your money, attention, affection, praise, admiration and compliments. You have Venus trine Saturn. You like partners that are younger or older than your own age. You might be attracted to responsible, reliable people, who are ambitious, have high status or are just very hard workers. You have Venus opposite Uranus. You might have a long distance relationship at some point in life. Or you could start online dating. You like your partnerships to have a friendly air first. You might like to be friends before you are lovers. You could also date your friends. You have Libra, Scorpio, Taurus, Aries, Capricorn and Cancer, Virgo, even Gemini friends.

CAREER, PROFESSIONAL LIFE, PUBLIC IMAGE

You have Pisces MC. You might be a caretaker or help others and guide them somehow. YOu might also help people organise their life. You will be seen as caring, imaginative, creative, loving, compassionate and an old soul. You have Aries Saturn in the 11th house. You might like to work on your own or don’t like to network as much. You might be a great leader of a club, group or community. You have Aquarius Jupiter rx in the 9th house. You could be a teacher, life coach, motivational speaker or someone is a mentor to others. You could work in the health field, nursing, business, finance or accounting. You might be a professor or an educator on a topic. You have Virgo North Node in the 4th house. This indicates your life purpose. You could specialize in whichever topic you are willing to research more in-depth. You might like to take care of your mind and body. You are an excellent host! You might often host parties or gatherings at your home. You are a people’s person. You are called in this lifetime to organise, establish healthy boundaries with your family members, take care of your health. You would benefit greatly from owning a pet. You might be interested in dietetics, nutrition, wellness, mental and physical wellbeing. You’ll need to create a steady routine, focus on the now and your day-to-day life. You might work from home, online or if you have a family business, continue that. You have Pisces Part of Fortune in the 10th house. This represents your natural luck and good charm. You might be at your happiest when you help others, when you “heal” someone, when you can show your imaginative and creative side.

ADDITIONAL OBSERVATIONS

You have Libra Chiron in the 5th house. There is a certain wound or a past hurt when it comes to your one on one relationships. You might have been rejected by your first crush or they didn’t like you back. You might not have an ideal example when it comes to a healthy relationship. Maybe your parents separated or they didn’t have a healthy relationship, so that ruined the image of relationships a bit for you. You have Pisces Ceres in the 10th house. This is how you take care of others and how you like to be nurtured. For you it is important to allow yourself to get lost in daydream at least for a bit or listen to music, or just a creative outlet for your emotions. It’s how you stay emotionally sane. You like to be of help to others, do things for them, give them your unconditional love and support. You have Cancer Juno in the 2nd house. This indicates your ideal partner, your ideal soulmate, be it platonic or romantic. I find it interesting that it is the same as your Sun sign and position! This would mean you would like someone who is the same as you. You might like a partner who is caring, compassionate, loving, kind, highly opinionated, stubborn, love and values home, tradition, family. Likes security, safety and comfort. Someone who is an excellent chef as well! You have currency Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter transiting your 8th house. You might find it harder or easier for at least a half of a year to gain money from others. You might reevaluate, think more of gain better focus on the following topics: shared resources, sex, physical intimacy, dee trusted bonds, spirituality, occult, mysticism, inheritance, death, transformation and rebirths. You might feel like you are in a transitory period. You could also undergo many internal transformations. This is an excellent time to talk to others on a deep level or even therapy. You could also be an excellent listen or somehow a bit of a therapist to OTHERS.

CHART RULER

Your chart ruler is Mercury. The chart ruler of the 1st house is in the 3rd house. Your personality shines through best when you are connecting with your peers, siblings, cousins, people from your local hometown, your elementary and high school friends. Your ego, character, self esteem, self image might develop through 3rd house topics, such as writing, communicating, learning a new skill, connecting people from your local scene, hanging out with your siblings and peers. This is also a part of your life purpose besides Virgo North Node in the 4th house. Here is an additional video on the topic by a fellow astrologer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBu9sY2RHJI .

HOUSE RULERS

The ruler of the 1st house is in the 3rd house. You may seem like “the girl (or boy) next door. Life is oriented toward communicating, gathering information and daily interactions. You gossip about the way people look. The ruler of the 2nd house is in the 5th house. You use your money for artistic projects. You are possessive of creative projects. Financial security depends upon your personal creativity. The ruler of the 3rd house is in the 2nd house. You discuss issues of self-worth and self-esteem. Writing is a way to earn a living. Your ability to communicate affects your ability to make money. Siblings affect your self-worth. Gathering information is oriented toward making money. The ruler of the 4th house is in the 3rd house. Home is a place to have lively conversations. Cultural upbringing has a strong bearing on your thoughts. Feeling included or rejected by your family influences your day to day interactions. Home is a place where people come and go. You bring your private inner self with you when you write, keep a journal or blog. The ruler of the 5th house is in the 3rd house. You communicate in a playful and lighthearted way. Romance and fun express themselves through a love of reading and writing. Fun is found through gossiping. Relaxation comes through conversation and writing. The ruler of the 6th house is in the 6th house. You work in a health-related field. Your daily habits impact your ability to find a job. You create habits and routines that focus on health, work, and relationships with employees, coworkers and animals. The ruler of the 7th house is in the 9th house. Partners help you expand your horizons. Your partner needs to be broad-minded. You want to be with someone who likes to discuss philosophical topics. Your open enemies are people from other cultural or religious backgrounds. The ruler of the 8th house is in the 11th house. You find it hard to be “just friends.” You bring your need for depth interactions to friendships. You need to belong to groups of like-minded people who share your intensity. Your groups and clubs involve research and investigation. You join occult groups. You have to adjust your debt to achieve long term goals and dreams. The ruler of the 9th house is in the 9th house. You find meaning by devising your own personal belief system. You travel to expand your horizons. You gain wisdom by learning about religion. You find meaning in higher education. The ruler of the 10th house is in the 8th house. You bring a professional approach to depth psychology. You find your true vocation by exploring occult subjects. Your career revolves around the need for intensity of experience. Your career involves working with other people’s emotional baggage. Your true vocation involves in- depth interactions with other people. You achieve recognition as a researcher. You receive awards for your work with people on the fringe of society. The ruler of the 11th house is in the 5th house. You are friends with all your romantic partners. You bring your social awareness to your children. The people you connect with are self-expressive and entertaining. You belong to artistic groups. You’re in a band. You are a huge fan of the arts. The ruler of the 12th house is in the 3rd house. You talk about things that make you sad. Your imagination is stirred by talking and writing. You work your dreams into your daily conversations and writing. You have a dreamy voice. You bring imagination to your writing and the way that you speak.

#astrology #natal chart #chart reading #astro chart #horoscope #zodiac #zodiac signs #birth chart

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ilovethecolorpink · 4 years ago

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hey, I need desperately advise...I feel like I desperately need to move out of my parents house. I feel so smothered and have no privacy once so ever. I feel obligated to stick around and help out but everyday I dream of a life on my own; independently. my mom is emotionally abusive and bipolar. I was going to school full time at a community college from Jan-may 2020 but took the fall semester off for mental health reasons. while I’m living at home, my parents fully support me financially as long as I’m going to school full time...I’m 22, have no savings, no job, and feel codependent as fuck. I want to move to nyc from California, which I realize is very expensive...I’m questioning if I’ll be able to get an education while working a job with long hours in order to pay rent and cover bills and expenses 😓 I’m still not 100% sure what I want to do career wise. I was aiming for something in the field of psychology but my true passion lies in English, writing, and literature... my parents say things all the time like “stop talking about moving out, in five years you’ll still be living at home. you have no money, no job, how are you going to move? you’re not going anywhere in the meantime!” this really discourages me. when I think about being independent I get so excited and happy when I think of all the possibilities of living on my own in the city but when they say things like that I get sad and fearful that they’re right... and there’s nothing I can do because I can’t currently support myself 😔 I’ve considered making an onlyfans account because I don’t know of any options to make money fast. my car isn’t reliable 24/7 so doordash, postmates, or ubereats won’t workout. I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking about that saying that if you really want something you’ll find a way to make it happen or if there’s a will, there’s a way. I feel defeated...I’m not happy here. I feel confined inside my bedroom walls and that makes me so sad

i want to start out by saying that i am so so sorry you’re going through this. parents have zero right to talk to or treat their children like that, and i’m so sorry about the toll it has had on you.

you should not feel bad about still living at home. SO many people do still at your age, not only with the state of the economy right now but also just how expensive it costs to live in general. we are in a pandemic with no end in sight, please don’t put too much pressure on yourself. there are more people in that same position as you than you think. you shouldn’t have to feel codependent but unfortunately your parents have made you feel so, which really fucking sucks, and is so unfair.

as for moving to nyc, absolutely do it when you can! but yeah you’re right, it will definitely be expensive. and i don’t mean to be discouraging when i say that, but realistic. still, though, i absolutely encourage you following your heart’s desires and doing it when you can! whether that be in six months or 3 years, i’ve got no doubt that you’ve got this! and of course you can get an education! it may be a lot, and will require a lot of balance, but you can always do school part time if need be! but remember, always put your health - mental and physical first. do not exhaust yourself. don’t let your parents get you down. and do NOT let them discourage you. it sounds so cheesy but prove them wrong!

life happens at its own pace, and that pace varies for EVERYONE. our parents come from a generation where they moved out young, got married young, and were independent again, very young. but that’s because they had the OPPORTUNITY to. this country was so different a couple generations ago in terms of what resources people had and how easy things came to them. they believe still so deeply in the “american dream” where if you work hard then you can do anything, when that is quite frankly not the case. do not rush yourself and do not let them rush you. for your sake, i do hope you get that independence you dream of sooner than later, but also remember there are so many forces beyond your control holding you back. they are not right, i promise you. soon enough you’ll be looking back on where you are now, so proud of yourself for how far you’ve come; i believe that.

as a psych major myself, there are a good amount of jobs you can get with that degree. however, i’ve met enough people who took psych courses thinking they’ll want to pursue the field only to realize it’s not for them. and i can only imagine how difficult that ‘realistic career versus dream career’ debate can be, especially for people in the humanities and arts. the best advice i can give is to think about yourself in 25 years. would they be happier with a job they’re not too excited about but brings in a reliable paycheck every week, or one they love and are passionate about? i think the latter. and that’s the PESSIMISTIC way to look at it! you never know what career you could get with english and of course you could make good money from it, if you truly love it as much as it seems you do! life throws surprises at you all the time, and you may even surprise yourself. i always struggle with following your heart versus your mind, but i feel that the heart is the only one that can be disappointed, and that’s not a very fun feeling. and hell, you can always double major if you have the means for it, or even do a major in one minor in the other! you’re right though, i think: what’s meant to be will be, and if there’s a will, there’s a way

as for now, if you want to make that onlyfans, do it! of course only if you feel safe doing so, but i will fully support you

i know how defeated you feel, and again, i am so sorry you do. i am sending you so much love and a big hug and i hope this (probably incoherent) essay (sorry!) helped at least a little bit or even made you feel a tad better. you’ll get to where you want to be someday, i promise you that with sincerity. have hope. to quote the shawshank redemption, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

i have hope in you. i believe in you. and i am rooting for you, even if no one else is. good luck, you’ve got this- no matter how long it takes <3

#im SO sorry for how long this is AJejwkrkqkkxa #also i did not proofread so if i made any errors ignore them <3 #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#ask

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herokita · 4 years ago

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Written by Tharmini Kenas In partnership with Often, we think of critical illness as a distant unfortunate event that happens to older people. But, recent happenings have proven that the young are equally at risk as to the elderly. According to experts, critical illness such as heart attack can happen even if you are physically active and consider yourself healthy. From a heart attack to a stroke, Malaysians are at risk for critical illness regardless of age and lifestyle. With the increasing medical costs in 2020, long recovery time, income reduction, physical and emotional struggles for you and your loved ones, the most practical action to take is to be financially prepared as early as possible. Here are the stories of four brave Malaysians who have seen the worst of critical illnesses and emerged victoriously. Let their stories give us the strength and awareness to take the right step towards better health and wealth. 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YouTuber Jared was diagnosed with testicular cancer and was caught unaware of how bad the treatment would be, especially his rounds of chemotherapy. “I didn’t feel like myself. I was constantly hungry, but at the same time I couldn’t eat, because I had no appetite. When I tried to eat, I would feel like vomiting.” While Jared battled cancer and was concerned about his business, his wife Marianne took on the difficult task of being his caregiver. She had to deal with his post-treatment procedures and chemotherapy side effects. Jared shared a particular experience Marianne had to go through. “Chemo farts are on the next level of smell and she had to bear with it. The smell is like chemical level and it sticks to your blanket. As I couldn’t walk around after my surgery and chemo, the blanket smelled really bad.” Taking on the role of caregiver, Marianne was starting to grow wary of their household expenses. “I was looking at Jared, not just feeling worried about his state of health, but also worried about the cost of his illness. Is this going to cost us our home, cars and the business? Her worry about financial constraints was soon put to rest because they found out that Jared was covered by critical illness insurance. “Our insurance agent came in and quickly took charge of everything, assuring us that it’s all covered. The money from the lump sum payout could be used to cover for any expenses we had such as those related to our household – utility bills, monthly mortgage, our car instalments; it was not restricted to Jared’s hospitalisation and medical treatment. That just instantly took so much weight off our shoulders.” Jared and Marianne worked as a team and overcame what could be the toughest hurdle of their lives. They had each other and the lump sum payout from critical illness insurance to ensure things were under control, even when both of them were knee-deep with treatments and post-treatment care. Critical illness affects all your loved ones financially, physically, and emotionally. From the diagnosis to the surgery and the post-treatment care, your loved ones are going to be involved. Critical illness insurance will reduce the financial impact and provide a better healing environment for you and your loved ones. Jeslinda Paul: A model who had to pick up the pieces of a shattered dream “To have a clear mind, you need your finances secured. That’s what I believe in and it really helped me when I had it secured.” She had a corporate dream and a passion for modelling. She was also young and all set for a grand life full of opportunities, hope and positivity. Unfortunately, Jeslinda Paul Devasahayam was involved in a car accident when she was 23 years old. Jeslinda saw her dream shatter right in front of her eyes. Suffering a spinal cord injury, she had to rebuild her life… on a wheelchair. She was worried about her family, her work and other limitations to her normal routine, but her main worry was money. “Who is going to support me, the surgery and everything after that? Finance was one of the main worries besides my career and whether everything would be okay. Those were my thoughts.” Jeslinda had just started working and didn’t think much about insurance and being financially protected. She relied on the insurance from her employer and believed she was still too young to worry about insurance. In retrospect, Jeslinda regrets not having taken action earlier. “Looking back, if I had my own insurance protection, it could have helped me heal better. “Because when you know your finances are secured, you don’t need to worry about it, and you can focus better on your healing.” “When finance comes into the picture, you tend to overthink a lot and you can be very negative- minded.” A year after the accident, Jeslinda enrolled in an accounting degree at Victoria University Sunway Campus to learn new knowledge and to pursue her dreams in the corporate world so that she could become independent again. Strong-willed and determined to make the best of her life and not let her disability get in the way of her dreams, Jeslinda is steadily making her way onwards. As life is unpredictable and unexpected things can happen at any time, it is best to be prepared starting from youth. Planning your insurance and protection early in life will ensure a secure future. Critical illness insurance: Do you really need it? Basic medical insurance will cover your cost of treatment, medication and hospitalisation while critical illness insurance will pay a lump sum payout once you are diagnosed with a critical illness. You can use the lump sum payout to pay for follow-up medical costs which include alternative treatment, supplements, consultations and even financial support to the family which will not be covered by your medical insurance. 3 questions you need to ask when you choose a critical illness insurance When it comes to critical illness insurance, there are a lot of providers out there and you might be confused to nail down the one that is best for your needs. It is always wise to single out insurance providers who are going above and beyond to provide comprehensive coverage. For instance, Prudential’s PRUMy Critical Care solution covers almost double the number of critical illnesses than the average. Some of the things that you need to keep in mind while choosing a critical illness insurance scheme are: 1. How many critical illnesses are being covered by the scheme? PRUMy Critical Care provides among the highest coverage in the market. While most providers cover only 70-80 critical illnesses, Prudential is offering financial protection against 160 conditions. 2. What are the age limit and other coverage requirements? PRUMy Critical Care covers you up to age 100 for early, intermediate and late-stage detection. It also provides protection in the event of a re-diagnosis for three of the most prevalent diseases – cancer, heart attack and stroke. 3. Any special coverages? PRUMy Critical Care has additional Special Benefit coverage on Diabetic Related Conditions and Joint Related Conditions. Moreover, it also comes with comprehensive critical illness coverage that allows multiple claims up to 400% of the rider sum assured. Don’t let your age, your lifestyle, or your lack of awareness stop you from living your best life. Get critical insurance coverage now and get peace of mind. Speak to a Prudential Wealth Planner today through a virtual insurance consultation, all from the comfort of your home. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&appId=428626330554993&version=v2.9"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk')); HEROKITA.com | Digital Talents On Demand Source link

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sadtechnojournal-blog · 7 years ago

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To start things off, I would like to acknowledge and inform those reading this of some context. This is written in September of 2017 by the author of this study Tumblr, who lives in Australia, and as such since this website is American centric, and higher education and technical schools have different funding systems, there will be stark differences in privilege levels of being able to do what I have done. I would also like to warn that there should be a few trigger warnings in here, child abuse mention, mental health mentions and depression in particular, so be ready.

I am currently studying a course in the realm of computer science, Certificate IV in Information, Digital media and Technology: Web Based Technologies. I am in the first term of this two-semester course, and currently also working a retail job I was working prior to the point that I decided to continue my education. Prior to this I had completed Certificate II and Certificate III in Information, Digital Media and Technology general courses. Doing this course has revitalized my passion for my future, my love of education and drive to move forward.

Sometime in 2016, I had the return of a serious lifelong depression I’ve suffered, and in a real major way. I became the step-parent of a 16-year-old teenager I had in my relationship of over seven years, that I’d only really met on the weekends. By the step-parent, I mean that she decided to move in with us, and so we were suddenly full-time parents, not just parents on a casual basis. It was difficult, financially, and emotionally. My step-child was not really invested into her education, nor did she share interests with us. Eventually she ended up leaving at the end of the year to go back and live with her mother. Albeit, she left at the start of the holidays for a visit, and essentially only came back to gather her things.

Some of this was a lot for me. I never wanted to become a parent, and I did put in a lot, only for it to be completely disregarded. As well as the stresses that come with working retail, and the emotional strains of my work and another situation with my youngest sister, I returned to therapy, for the first time since leaving high school. In this time, I also discovered that I have Asperger’s, a higher functioning form of autism, alongside my known depression and anxiety, and in exploring that and why I lacked childhood diagnosis, issues with the physical, emotional and sexual abuse I went through returned.

After a few months of returning to life as a couple without children, but merely the memories of such, I began to regain a sense of stability, emotionally speaking. But I was still depressed with suicidal ideations that had surfaced the year prior. I’d begun arguing with my workplace about having a right to not work Sundays, mid through this argument which lasted several weeks I began to think back to the last time I remember really being happy all the time, and I thought back to my days living in the student village and attending school. I concluded, that I was being unfulfilled intellectually in my role as a retail worker, my mind had too much time to drown itself. So inevitably I had a decision to make, was I going to repeat the same thing I’d been doing for years, just hoping the work will get better, or I do something about it. I decided to return to school.

For several months, I couldn’t decide what exactly I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to return to school, and I told those around me that is what I was going to do. Telling people around me was a way of making sure I didn’t convince myself out of it. Eventually I tossed up between the course I ended up doing, a Cert IV in Networking, and Cert II in Visual Arts. Eventually I chose Web Based Technology because it seemed like the best option for a future career path, along the lines of something I was interested in. I locked it in. I gave notice to my work that I was returning, and when I enrolled, gave as much notice as possible to change my rosters to suit.

So finally, I returned to school, and instantly I felt better. I felt, connected, more fulfilled and burning with purpose. Two days a week the class was on, day one was warned as being mostly a research class, where we looked at copyright, privacy and ethics, and would be boring. I found it quite the opposite, incredibly interesting and engaging, and my lecturer, she was as compelling and interesting as the course she taught. Day two was filled with a more direct coding class, which I also felt incredibly compelling. I also made friends, mostly guys, as IT courses do tend to be more male occupied, but a lady here and there I’m also quite friendly with. I could have conversations on shared interests, instead of through gritted teeth, just dreading the next racist remark, or insult of my core values. It is good to be able to connect with a group of people, and even more than that be accepted. I felt quite warm, when one day, I left a few minutes earlier for lunch and when I sat at the cafeteria, they joined me, I wasn’t just a hang on, someone they tolerated. It’s not something I ever really have felt, minus a very few exceptions.

As such me, my goals in returning to school were successful. I returned to school to satisfy something in me, that I was missing. To make myself happy, to bring passion into my work, and maybe tuck the depression I know can consume me, away. Even if it is only temporary, I feel better about the world. I feel like I’m on my way to the next part of my life, like I am finally growing and becoming a real adult. Next up, I need to focus on producing the best work I can, and get into better study habits, to stop procrastinating. Like writing essays on fandoms, and my reasons for returning to school and emotional journeys. I just need to do the work.

So for me, finding my way to school was a way I was able to break myself free of a cycle of depression. I hope that someone reads this and likes it. There’s no real big conclusion here, I’m still studying, not even finished my first term. But I’m feeling both excited and hopeful for my own future.

#tw: child abuse #child abuse #therapy #studyblr #personal #education #studying #tafe #journaling #feelins written down #schooling #study #goals and motivations #personal stories #retail work #further education #computer science #stem #women in technology

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