#not intentional but im not changing it xD

[okcassin]

My new loooong banner is done! Now imagine with me for a minute the most zany crossover of the decade

[damagedcoda6669]

hiiiii!!!! i was wondering if u could share some of the most common to least common bpd symptoms?….and maybe ones u struggle with??? <:3

ive been thinking i have bpd for awhile,, (since i was 15,i’m almost 18 now) BUT i dont wanna self diagnose bc i don’t wanna offend anyone……is that offensive? to self diagnose? idek <:p

there isnt rlly least 2 most common, bpd is a spectrum and has a wide range of experiences!!! but i will list the diagnostic criteria 4 u, and explain it in a way some1 first learning abt bpd can understand ^w^

u must experience at least 5 of the 9 symptoms from the criteria in order 2 be diagnosed!!!

1: frantic efforts 2 avoid real or imagined abandonment; this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this means an intense fear of abandonment. if u have bpd, being abandoned by those u love is most likely ur biggest fear. ik its mine!!! xD this can look like a number of things. this can include an avoidant attachment style, pushing ppl away becuz u feel a need 2 abandon them first b4 it happens 2 u. u might do the opposite and cling rlly hard. u might resort 2 manipulation tactics n threats 2 try 2 get them 2 stay even if its not in their best interest (not every1 w bpd does this, and not every1 w bpd doing this is doing it on purpose. ive done this in the past b4 i reflected on my own behavior and realized it was wrong. we r not abusers by default and we dont have bad intentions.) u might beg them 2 stay, promise them things, try 2 change urself 4 them, yell at them 4 wanting 2 leave. its terrifying what the fear might do 2 u.

2: a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation.

this ones pretty simple, consistently unstable relationships throughout ur life!!! but it might get a lil confusing at "extremes of idealization and devaluation", so ill try 2 explain that using a term from the bpd community, "splitting". splitting is when u switch from one extreme view of a person, object, character, pretty much anything, 2 the opposite. it USUALLY means going from loving some1 2 hating them, but it can mean the opposite (hating 2 loving), and it can apply 2 anything, not just a person. a good example of splitting is when ur fp (favorite person, another term from the bpd community) disagrees with u abt smth, or u see them hanging out with other ppl, u mightve viewed them as perfect b4 and now u feel an intense hatred and can only see them as a bad person. 2 other ppl, experiencing such a drastic change in perception over smth so small is seen as ridiculous, but rlly its entirely valid. its part of the disorder, its okay.

3: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self.

u dont rlly know who u r a lot of the time, u dont have a strong sense of identity, if any at all. u might change styles often, change the way u talk, the jokes u make, ur beliefs, ur interests, ur hobbies. u might find urself basing ur entire personality on those around u. a common experience is that when ur favorite person or favorite ppl leave u, u dont know who u r anymore, becuz ur entire sense of self was mirrored from them. its like being a chameleon, but ur constantly mirroring other ppl, and ur nevr rlly ur own person.

4: impulsivity in at least two areas that r potentially self damaging (the examples listed in the DSM-5 include spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating, but i will provide moar examples!!!); this does not include suicidal or self mutilating behavior covered in criteria 5.

this ones also pretty simple!!! but personally i find that i become moar impulsive while in a bad headspace, or while im having a bpd episode/suicidal outburst. moar impulsive actions may include property damage, physical fights, running away, cutting contact with ppl, getting in contact with ppl who u know r dangerous, etc. those r all i could think of off the top of my head and they may not be the best examples, srry!!! :(

5: recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats, or self mutilating behavior.

i would like 2 say that self harm doesnt just mean cutting!!! self harm includes burning, hitting, ripping out hair, picking at skin, stabbing, and many moar. personally ive always been a cutter and i started when i was 9 or 10, but i want every1 2 know that all self harm is valid and this is a safe space 2 discuss it. im not gonna make any1 feel ashamed of it <3 also!!! suicidal threats and gestures may come across as manipulative, but that is almost NEVR our intention. we may act out in suicidal ways becuz its the only thing that gets us any sort of attention or care that we desperately need. i dont give a shit abt "ew theyre threatening suicide 4 attention, lets ignore them" becuz attention is a basic human need, and some1 threatening suicide REGARDLESS of their intentions is always a concern. whether its a call 4 help or not, they need help. dont disregard their mental health becuz their suicidal ideation doesnt present in an "acceptable" manner. all suicidal ideation, IS suicidal ideation. whether its passive, 4 attention, active w a plan, its all valid and requires attention and care.

6: affective instability due 2 a marked reactivity of mood (eg, intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely moar than a few days)

intense mood swings!!! u can feel happy one moment, and then switch 2 being depressed or anxious, and then go back 2 "normal" 10 minutes later. sometimes it just happens 4 no reason!!! absolutely fucking sucks

7: chronic feelings of emptiness.

this one is hard 2 explain and can mean varying things 4 different ppl. 4 me, it means i will never be happy in the long term (maybe with medication, but.. rawdogging life? bad idea) nothing gives me any sort of long term joy and i dont feel like i have a purpose. its like theres a hole in my chest that will nevr be filled. nothing will make me complete.

8: inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights)

angy

(also not every1 w bpd gets in2 physical fights or r angry at other ppl often, some ppl r moar angry at themselves)

9: transient, stress related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

paranoia is a symptom of bpd!!! although its shortlived in nature, and as stated above, stress related. dissociative symptoms can also present in a variety of ways!!! u can present with a fractured sense of self which may actually lead 2 u developing headmates iirc, but with them usually appearing as other versions of urself. or u might just dissociate due 2 stress or ur brain wanting 2 remove traumatic memories, 4 me dissociating feels like the whole world is fuzzy and blurry and i cant form any thoughts or emotions. i have dissociative amnesia and experience memory loss when this happens, which sucks becuz i dissociate at least once everyday. my memories r incredibly spotty and unreliable, its liek my brain is made of swiss cheese!!!

personally, i experience all of the symptoms from the diagnostic criteria, and they all effect my life on a daily basis. but that isnt 2 say that u need all of them in order 2 have bpd, as i said b4, u only need at least 5!!! there r also different types of bpd (not medically, theyre labels created by the bpd community) look in2 it if u resonate with some of the symptoms but not all of them!!! a lot of ppl who suspect they have bpd but dont present in a stereotypical way often relate 2 the term "quiet bpd", i recommend looking in2 it!!!

self diagnosis is entirely valid, and most of the ppl who r offended by it r neurotypical or they dont have the disorders that ppl r self diagnosing with. it stems mostly from ableism towards autistic ppl, specifically autistic ppl who self diagnose becuz they know theyre autistic but dont have the resources/time 2 get a diagnosis from a professional. if u believe ur borderline, and u've done ur research, i believe u. self diagnosis is not actually offensive 2 those who have mental disorders, im pretty sure the bpd community is accepting of self diagnosis!!! and if u cant find a community of ppl who r accepting of ur self diagnosis, just know that i believe u and this is a safe space 4 self diagnosis and ppl w bpd :3

bpd is also incredibly hard 2 get diagnosed with. its one of the most stigmatized disorders and often mental health professionals have a bias against it. sometimes, professional diagnosis is not an option 4 us. i knew i had bpd 4 years b4 i was able 2 get diagnosed. good luck!!!!

[pillowdrawz]

Jujutsu Kaisen X ROTTMNT AU : Incarnation Au (also four warriors character sheet)

(BUT ALSO CHARACTER SHEET OF THE FOUR WARRIORS OR TURTLE BOYS PAST LIFE)

I have created a Crack crossover XD.(for legal reasons this is for fun)

So basically i search that Sukuna is a 1000+ years old just like the Rise past life was.

So I was like why not have sukuna four senseis. So i did.

Just so you know I will not change sukunas character he is still the same evil Btch as he is same goal etc.

The rise turtle or rise fam just want to chill and have a normal life as a teenager BUT if they found out Sukuna is treating women they will be mad At him and would intervene just to scold him.

(Btw the four warriors thought Sukuna Attacking at them was Training They didn't realize Sukuna was trying to kill them. They just thought sukuna wanted to become more stronger so surprised attacks doesn't make them realize Sukuna has an Intent to Kill them.)

They only realize Sukuna was trying to kill them When they got reincarnated and remember their past life )

Like.

Sukuna: Im gonna kill you [summons bunch of cursed spirit]

Kouki(Leos past life name) [thinking he is fooling around]: sure [slice all of the cursed spirit in one go] dinner is ready by the way young one.

--

Context: Jujutsu Kaisen x rise of the tmnt crossover where Sukunas Teacher or Master was the Four Warriors aka The one who sealed the kraang. The Turtle boys remember their past life but Just want to live a normal and relax (But it will never happen : D).

(Putting more lore later Cause the Hamato clan is so different from the other JJk character clan. Like The Hamato clan doesn't really care if you train the child or not Or became stronger What matters in the Hamato clan Is family! And how important it is Like Karai was disappointed when she found out how The current hamato clan doesn't know Ninpo or to fight etc But When she realizes The turtle boys Family bond is stronger she was Proud and actually happy for them) /rant

While in JJK clan is welll if you know you know .

[ganondoodle]

Hello 👋

Swallowing my nerves at last to send you an ask! I was just wondering, what inspires your designs? Are their inspirations in stuff like movies or games? Or just things you come up with yourself?

i .. honestly its kinda hard to tell, sometimes i just randomly think of something, like some detail, or color combination and try to incorporate that into a design somehow; it can come from anywhere, like the color scheme of a pithaya/dragonfruit is something i have been wanting to make a design with for ages but havent come up with anything good in all those years ;O;

im a very easily fascinated by color, espeically in nature, like sometimes i just stop and stare at something like i froze in time bc i just woooooooooooooah color! i probably look like a weirdo doing that though

its really hard to pinpoint anything specifically, the most is probably .. other artists? i guess? which always makes me nervous bc my memory is shit in most areas of life and i worry myself to pieces whether i unintentionally "stole" an idea and just dont remember and think it was my own, it goes further that sometimes i see something that makes me want to draw a similar concept but dont bc i dont want to 'steal' even if that couldnt be further from my intention (have been accused of that before ..)

that said for my ocs specifically .. most are rather old and have just kinda evolved out of their awkward first iterations (shargons first iteration was a hauro-howl- copy that was really just some human covered in feathers .. another oc was once a hellboy copy but in green- havent drawn nor redeisgn them in ages lol), the biggest inspirations for them is a mix of animals, bonus if you dont see them often- im a big shark, whale and sea creatures in general nerd so i tend to take from them as a priority but always trying to be less directly animal and mostly just .. features that work together

Eadrya is one of the newer OCs- i started to write but then looked at my folders and oh they are from 2017 .., i even made a design timeline for them how much they, and my art, have changed back in 2020, so thats also way outdated now lol (they apparently started as a whale .. thing? its like a pokemon evolution lol)

this is them now (i like this sketch still, though shargons design is now also outdated lmao)

this ones from early 2023 so also outdated now but you get the point

for demons i try to be a bit more wild on shapes and colors while still adhering to the rules of how they work (humanoid form, demon form, animalistic, one element each and more or less made to fit that, 4 arms is very common, look to be bost scary and wild but also something that would make you stop in tracks and stare in awe and fear if you crossed paths)

often times designs just kinda .. happen, i have maybe the idea ok i wanna make something with a white and red pattern also moose or those big horned cows are cool and kinda scary so maybe sth akin to that (though this one is technically a redesign too- its also pretty much entirely different)

for non demons but still non human i go for a much more restrained design, mainly inspired directly by an animal and giving the color scheme a good spin, plus adding unconventional body shapes, like ki'ita is also a good example, her old idea was just orca anthro pirate and just by making the white green instead in her most recent redesign already adds that little spin to it

that can have its pitfalls though, as i often fall into the big arm small head small legs scheme over and over xD

alot of it is trial and error, deciding on the colors can take me hours bc im always searching for my little rule of having one contrast color that shows up in very few places to draw attention to it (like with Eadrya its those bright yellow eyes and thingy at their tail)

and that is all about myy own ocs, when its fandom stuff it works kinda similar though, either in the connections i wanna draw or just thinking it further- like how deities in destiny work also just kinda .. happened like an ever derailing train

like for demise i was at first really just im gonna give him horns bc horns are cool and he got those on the starting mural in the game- so how his hair work? well maybe it isnt hair actually and just unbound energy, im making him a deity too and fit hylias design to his so, yeah, then so how does it work, ok he gotta have a skeleton still, but what if his entire actual body is made up of pure magical energy with its core in the ribcage? with the core in the ribcage >:3c and the scales you see are just like cooled down lava as an armor bc his thing is fire and earth !! the normal blood? is a thin layer of skin imiated from mortals to keep the scales together and flexible so if he ACTUALLY gets hurt hed bleed magic that looks more like lava and any normal blood you see is just the armor- so why does he have a skeleton still instead of being just energy? maybe its gotta be bound to something OH and what if all of the deities started as mortals like a mirror to the trio later on and the gods cannot have direct influence to the worlds so they needed a right hand that is neither god nor mortal but both by killing a mortal by whatever their element will be (demise burned, hylia drowned etc) and their skeleton and spirit is kept but put into a body of magic- OH what if their spirit core is like almost piloting their bodies like a mech in a way bc if youd look close youd see that every strand of magic is actual a hand of their spirit so it makes it more weird and other bc hed be able to reach out with thousands of burning claws of all shapes and sizes like the beheaded forest god at the end of mononoke- SO if hed lose and arm or something all those strands would untangle and rearrange his bones back together-OH MY GOD the whole armor idea works so well for ghirahims dark armor so what if demise had two swords once and lost one and since has forged an armor similar to his own for ghirahim out fo fear of losing him t---

and that all is a process that happens over several weeks and months not rarely while i am drawing something mindlessly and suddendly *have a thought* and omg that makes so much sense-

so "what" inspires my designs? an ever derailing train of thought about making cool thick monsters that arent the evil thing to get rid of for once? cool color schemes? idk it just kinda happens??

[dgaftilwedie]

SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF WAS FUCKING NUTS AND I WANNA BE ANNOYING N TALK ABT IT BC I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT OBVS XD

OKAY SO??? THE FACT THAT THEY LITERALLY SET UP THE FIRST EPISODE LIKE IT WAS GONNA BE JUST LIKE THE COMICS N THEN SCOTT "DIED"????? literally had me questioning fucking EVERYTHING i was watching that episode with the most quizzical look on my face?? also the fucking funeral scene was hysterical bc the way rammy n knives were abt to have a verbal face-off n envy's bitchass shows up n steals the whole show?? i have such a love-hate relationship with her.............

also lucas lee is fucking adorable and i love him :33 rammy becoming friends with roxie n making up with her after everything was something i really needed to see. cuz like for as much as i loved the movie n the comics, i feel like they could've done their relationship so much better. like seeing ramona take responsibility for hurting roxie made me so happy and im so glad they got a redemption arc.

ROXIE IS LITERALLY ME BTW??? her whole interaction with ramona n kim at the end kf the episodr was so silly N THE LEG LOCK HELLO????? also the way she walked off singing the HAMSTER DANXE SONG I LOCE HER

the toddlace thing was also so unexpected but holy shit?? i loved it. bi todd has been my fav headcanon for YEARSSSS and seeing jt happen right in front of my eyes?? WATCHING THAT EPISODE WAS SUCH A TRIP THO I CAN'T STOP QUOTING WALLACE'S "LINES? TRAILER?" BITS BC THEY'RE SO FUNNY

uhmmmmm what elseeeee OH YEAH young neil is a fucking goof n i love him, i really like that gideon (gordon ig 🙄) became like this not evil guy who just lived with julie n kicked it with lucas. the old scott stuff kinds fricked with me but i think it's cool that he became chill with the twins

LMFAOAO THAT SCENE AT THE END WHERE SCOTT'S TRTING TK FIGJRE OIT WHY HE CAN'T KISS RAMONA N HE TRIES TO FIGHT THE TWINS AND THEY'RE LIKE "our robot says we become bros in the future, so we have no intention of fighting you. see ya bro ;)" WAS SO SILLY

obligatory matt mention i love him he's so dumb i love that he took over gideon's entire empire only to turn around and change his mind :3 glad he got his broadway moment....... silly pirate headass

knives n stephen becoming the best brother/sister duo ever was so dope bc like. knives had someone to look up to n make music with n they had a lot of chemistry both personality wise n musically wise

my only critique is that i wanted more lisa ;^; i know she probably would've been out of place but it would've been cool if kim mentioned her to ramona and ramona interviewed her just like she did with her exes yknow :P she was one of my fav characters in the comics n she wasn't in the movie AT ALL so i was hoping she would've appeared in the anime, but alas 😞😞 i also kinda wanted to see where kim's love life went...... i know she's not the focus but she had undeniable chemistry with knives and that moment with roxie... i love that she's totally very queer and open to the idea of experimenting with girls n i wish that would've been expanded upon like how todd n wallace had their moment :33

other than that, i LOVED the anime. i love how we got baited into thinking it was just like the comics and i love what was done with it :3 it was such a goofy show and a lot of it was so jaw-droppingly surprising that i couldn't believe it, but it also had some really sweet, serious, n heart-warming moments which is something i really appreciate in a show :33 it's hard to keep watching something for so long but i binged the show in one day xD i'd give it a solid 9/10 (deducting points just for the sake of what i think was missing and how i don't recommend it for like "beginner" fans)

oki rant concluded!!!!!!! ^___^ there's so much more i wanna say but this is already sooooooo long as it is xD

[zundamind]

wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!

in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!

i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3

update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD

update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!

update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!

man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!

also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD

oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.

anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3

sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)

this should stay private but idc

i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.

dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.

do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.

i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.

completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,

if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.

move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.

dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.

[celestie0]

Girl I was balls deep in my attempt to make fanart for u a couple months ago

Like I had the reference pictures collated and I sat my ass down and picked up an pencil with the intention of actually drawing something after ages

cause basically I became a lil sad cause I felt like I forgot to draw bc last year in school I took an external art subject and it didn’t occur to me that doing a hands on subject through distance study wasn’t the brightest idea

anyway that fucked me over and led to me dropping and taking up fucking legal studies 😭

Even though I’m a bit more STEM based I can still fw the wordy subjects but not this someone pls save me why am I being assessed on the bi cameral structure of parliament

saur yh I’m super lazy as is with anything so that situation just put me off drawing and art completely

congrats to me setting every world record for yip yapping and going off track

ummm yh for context it was like my 10th read through of the kickoff chapter 6 scene that compelled me to collate a bunch of reference pics that ranged from twitter smut comics to bathroom sinks and eventually I gave up because anatomy is a bitch

I changed into a dress with the same type of neckline I think reader was wearing bc of the way it tucks under her boobies and I was this close to just shamelessly positioning myself in front of the mirror to make my own references

then ofc I got distracted by a half baked portrait of Rose from titanic that I drew when I was like 15 and ended up drawing a two hour long remake of the same picture

only for my friend to tell me it looks like Mary Shelly’s ghost

Should I know who that is

To be fair it looked nothing like her but I mean it was an improvement from thinking all my ability just went poof and I drew better when I was 15

never the less I was somewhat disappointed with the product and I haven’t drawn since

wait I wanna show u actually lemme try

https://share.icloud.com/photos/0edTRG9Tb54pRh9Qe5unszRrg

the Mary Shelly in question

do these links work I’m scared I’m gonna accidentally leak personal details or my whole camera roll lol

also IM NOT AN ARTIST don’t judge me peeps I’m just a girl idek how to drive yet

I feel bad every time I send an ask I feel like I’m force feeding u Ellie babes u have the patience and commitment of a saint

also OMG IF YOU MADE ART FOR ANY OF MY FICS I’D SOB!!!!

I want to 😞🫶 but alas prospect of fanart from me will most likely never see the light of day

that crack scene in ihm was tempting tho everything u write is just so visual

♥️ mwah my gorgeous gorgeous writer wifey

hellooo my dear PLS the ramble of this ask is legendary and i found it very entertaining xD

ouuu the dress that reader wears in ch6 of kickoff is actually based on a dress that i own, here's some pictures of it!! i'm curious if the dress you have is similar!! but yea this is the official outfit reference hahah

looking at it now it's kind of a mild sweetheart neckline lol n yea def tucks under the boobs very nicely xd i was actually gonna sell it on depop a couple months ago when i did a closet cleanout but i was like nahhh i gotta keep it bc it inspired that scene

taking your OWN reference pictures sounds so badass. and its ok babe it's the thought that counts haha <3 i feel u about the losing passion/talent in art thooo aaa i used to draw too but ehh hobbies fizzle

ahh i can't see the cloud photos :(( but anywho thanks for the yap my dear!! i ate it up. also side note but i'm so glad my writing comes off visual to you!! i always worry there's not enough description in my scenes so that's reassuring to hear. much love!

[the-crimson]

Q!BBH and Generational Trauma

For a long time this has been something I’ve noticed in the halo family that I’ve strongly related to. Idk if it’s an intentional theme bbh and Dapmin (and pommin but im mainly gonna focus on Dapper) put into their characters but it’s definitely there. So heres my perspective on bbh’s character arc so far observed through a lens of generational trauma.

(Quick side note. Writing this post was a journey tm and my initial view of bbh and god’s relationship and what the afterlife scene meant shifts dramatically half way through XD)

Even if a parent does everything right, they will still hurt their children. It’s part of the job. It’s part of life. Even if we choose to be better than our parents, the scars they left will bleed onto our children. I think every family has an element of generational trauma - I certainly do but im not gonna trauma dump on yall - but the severity of it is a spectrum.

Q!bbh was cast from his home due to the conditional love of God/the Father and this has left a clear impact on him. His self worth is in the gutter and he lacked a sense of purpose. According to everything we know of bbh’s life before the island, he didnt really care for much of anything other than finding the next source of entertainment - i mean, he remembers the salem witch trials fondly because of the drama of it all regardless of the fact that hundreds of innocent women were murdered.

Was God being intentionally cruel or abusive? Probably not. From His perspective, he may see casting his angels from heaven as a temporary punishment - like spanking a child for throwing a tantrum - without really understanding the damage such treatment is actually doing. He isnt teaching his children the lesson he thought he was just as spanking a child doesnt teach them to behave, only to fear. Bbh redeemed himself in the eyes of the Father and thus was granted the choice to return home. The Father was doing his child a kindness, he was welcoming his lost angel back home because what fallen angel would ever choose anything other than Elysium? And thats the point of conflict. The Father thinks he is doing right by his child but hes only causing bbh more pain. Bbh has to choose between his own children and eternal salvation (that he knows can be taken away on a whim). His heart has been severed in two.

Bbh’s wounds from his disownment run so deep he doesnt even notice them and thus, doesnt notice how they impact his children. Dapper has taken after so many of bbh’s characteristics and a complete lack of self worth is one of them. Selflessness to the point of self annihilation. The fear of being a burden. The need to feel useful otherwise why am i even alive? Dapper was borderline suicidal because they felt useless and nearly killed themself trying to be useful by farming soul hearts and they learned all of this behavior from Bad. Bbh showed Dapper unconditional love but it wasnt enough. Bbh couldnt save Dapper from his own trauma.

Breaking cycles of generational trauma takes more than just realizing how you were raised didnt work and trying something else. Bbh never healed from the wounds left by the Father and thus they were passed down to his own son.

When i started writing this analysis, i thought that this was the tragedy between bbh and the Father. God was too stuck in his ways to understand what His child needs, what would truly make bbh happy. I thought that the Father had not changed. His love remained conditional. Bbh could only come home if he chose god/heaven. The door might be closed next time. This is his only chance of coming home. But now after laying it all out like this… it made me wonder why the Father decided now of all times was when bbh redeemed himself. My initial cynical reading was that the Father was putting bbh through a test of loyalty. He only truly earned his redemption if he would abandon his children in favor of god/heaven but now… i can see a more hopeful reading.

God watched bbh become a father. He watched bbh become a better person through fatherhood. He also watched as the trauma He caused was passed onto bbh’s child. If the Father wanted bbh to come home because he’d redeemed himself, then the Father could have snapped bbh away at any time. Perhaps thats what He would have done 14,000 years ago when bbh first fell. What if the Father recognized his mistake? What if this was His attempt to fix things after seeing just how much damage He’d done? What if he did finally understand what bbh truly needed?

Bbh was stuck in his trauma because he lacked agency in his current state. The Father still had all the power between them by holding heaven hostage. The only way bbh could ever start to heal from this damage was if he was given back the choice that was made for him. Bbh needed to choose one way or another in order for him to take the first step towards healing even if it causes him anguish in the moment. He needed the choice. He needed the freedom to refuse.

But giving freedom to your children can be scary. What if they make the wrong choice? What if they screw up and ruin everything? For a god who expects perfection from his children, freedom must be terrifying. Giving His children freedom means giving them the option to turn away from him. But that is part of being a parent.

What if unlocking the gates was an apology? Im sorry i hurt you. Im sorry i made this choice for you. I see you. I wont take this choice from you again. Its too late to change the past but you can change the future. Dont make my same mistakes.

What if it was a gift? God relinquished his leverage over bbh and gave him the option to come home. An opportunity for bbh to break the cycle. A chance for bbh to make a choice for himself for once. To free him of the shackles that tied him to God. To heal and stop his own son from continuing the cycle of generational trauma.

After all, the greatest gift a god can give is the freedom to choose one’s own destiny.

[fantomette22]

(For Bloodborne)

10, 16, and 18?? 💀

I answered 10 here ! As for the rest it is quite long so putting it under there. Hope you ready 😅

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Hm... wait I need to remember all the things I don't appreciate... and try not to make ennemies 😓 (it's really not my goal it's just personal preference mostly. Seriously depending how things are explained and presented there's lot a thing I can actually enjoy! While I would dislike when it's just throw and spam without context.)

Hm well you know as for characterisations when it's reduced to like 2 traits or extreme good / extreme bad it's hm... yeah. I mean I know I ain't a good exemple but I barely share dark headcanons 😓 but they do exist hehe.

Of course absolutely don't mind and love silly shenanigans (when you're hanging with your friends and having fun it's not always very serious) and also more dark and matures ideas. When people share it doesn't mean it's all they think to the characters! Gotta take the all picture!

But it does bother me when people believe in almost caricatural interprets like it's canon and talk down on others with different views. Somehow like they are the worst thing...like wtf.

Also well typical extreme talk about Gehrman, Maria and mostly Laurence I suppose (maybe a bit Lulu aka the holy blade but it bother me a bit less because people are generally not spamming to or being annoying as much as the others. Oh Micolash too). When people reduced them to just 2 things or an extreme. I feel it really doesn't fit with the infos within the game. I'm not a fan at all. They are all morally grey and humans. They are not clearly all black or all white. they are morally gray, they are humans!

In more details now. Well for Gehrman you know my stance already. Clearly yeah he had some issues in his life and did bad things but clearly I don't think he was a misogynistic asshole and all the stuff. Like it just don't make sense to me. I don't even wanna vent about it today XD

As for Maria well. Look I don't have a problem with the headcanon of her being a butch lesbian. I mean it's even one of my AU actually. (to put it really really simply. Bc I like having several interprets disconnect to each other in their own settings). It can be very interesting in an overall big story I think. The problem I have is when it's apparently her only unique traits and if you think or headcanon otherwise for any reasons you are apparently the worst shit to exist and getting block. Being labelled as sexist, homophobic etc. Well idk but that kind of reaction kinda tell me who the real -phobic one is 😕 really that is sad like wow who hurt you people?! to have this much anger to people just trying to have fun. Thankfully it's clearly just a minority of people who are agressive like this. And I hope they will grow, gain maturity and realise there's really no need to be that mean about such a thing. But it's been a while saw smt like this so I prefer to put this behind me there's hope.

As for Laurence I'm not really a fan of him being the ultimate bitch devil (or angel but nobody has that take almost. That would be a change. the tragic vicar who only had good intention but accidentally fucked up and try his best until the end😔 I mean I don't agree with that either but that's a change). I mean by this, that I think he did both. Good and bad things. That he had honorable intentions at first but overcome by a bit of ego and pride he fucked up really bad. And then realised his mistake but it was too late to correct it... his theme inspire great strength but who end in tragedy and pity. So overall tragic these too. Him being depicted as just a smug unlikable bitch is something I have a hard time with. I mean yes I like to imagine him being a smug bitch too at times for sure! it's fun but not like all the time and making it his entire personality. If that make sense. I don't see how he could be an important religious figure, doctor and having so much support by just being a manipulative ass all the time. Especially if he start from ground 0.

And hm... i have nothing again it and people so that we're clear but hm EXCEPT in certains very specific context* I am not personally a fan of Laurence being drawn with horns on his head. It just isn't my cup of tea. I'm not sure to understand what's the interest don't make sense to have Laurence looking normally human + just horns but it's just me.

*EXCEPT WHEN : symbolism and symbolic art (no prob I like those actually. Horns + when he's burning in human form for exemple onlooking like religious symbolism) ; "decoration" like lil detached horns, like you would put flowers or sparkles or little emoji next to a portrait of a characters ; before he transformed but with other signs of beasthood (actually him human with horns can be nice but I prefer when it's like mini horns not full cleric beast ones + idk a giant arm with claws and fur growing, eyes looking weird, teeth growing, his hair being longer and messy etc).

Now last I will stop after...

I think a whole fic or interprets on a really dark and realistic Bloodborne universe like our world can be super interesting! But I don't enjoy when people seem to think Bloodborne is 100% our 19th century with just a couple of eldritch things in it? Ok it's closer to us compared to medieval fantasy like DS or elden ring. But I feel it's fantasy too. if we had a map I won't be surprise if that's not Europe or a map that existed in real life. Lot of things don't fit to be actual victorian era. It's just inspire by it : invention and technology aren't on the same lvl. Either they are missing important inventions or are too advanced. (Molotovs appeared during spain war and were named like this during WWII) people don't seem to have 10 children working in factories or mines as well. Women are doctors, academic, hunters etc No steam machine or electric bulb but who knows. I could make an entire things... Looking at all the real life inspirations for the game is great! Create a very realistic story is very cool! But I would personally be more on the side that's it's more of a victorian fantasy. Like Sekiro can't be in our world or how Dark souls is a medieval fantasy as well and isn't medieval age accurate.

Oh boi i forgot about victorian london. Jokes are fine but bloodborne is more inspired on Prague and eastern europe i feel. You and Katy developed it more anyway

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Ok I don't know how to answer this so have a list (of ideas in my head I need to share /write one day lmao) :

Maria backstory (no seriously I want stories on her childhood, her family, what happened, how she felt toward them. Conflicted? Good terms but separate ways? Actually work for them for a while? Disowned? I wanna know! If she's actually close to Annalise ? More important in royal family that we know? Or really a random noble related to them?) Is her pyromancer real?! why she dislike blood blades?

How she got her Rakuyo

How she met Gehrman? her training? WHAT HAPPEN I NEED TO KNOW uxkcblkDOLFMBOEAMl: (sorry XD) work for Laurence & co too

Important lore Charcacters backstory before this whole mess (Laurence, Gehrman, Ludwig, Willem etc yeah basically everyone lol I won't do the entire list XD but how did they meet each other what bound them what happen.)

Stories how the healing church + blood transfusion actually came to be?

Byrgenwerth era (yeah sorry I love it XD)

So yeah overall timeline before the hunter arrive (help)

Cainhurst, Annalise, vilebloods, potential KING of Cainhurst

So yeah Logarius too

Loran, Isz and pthumerians lore??

Dores and Gatekeeper my beloved

Caryll (yeah just Caryll)

Izzy and bestial hunters. How the bestial rune was forbidden, why Laurence had it etc

Ok is everyone except 5 persons gonna ignore the fact freaking Gehrman can make more than just weapons?! well wood stuff are oblivious but how did bro can make such refined clothes hello?!?!

Religion practise how it works in Yharnam, how citizens and clerics actually practise it.

What's their history, their legend, how the geopolitic within the country is and others XD (it's more a critic about the game in itself than fandom really) In truth I'm a bit sad we know lot of countries and regions within Dark Souls but almost none with Bloodborne! Like many people are from foreign countries and we have 0 names compared to the dozens in DS. we just have like vaguely Yamamura asiatic country, Eileen's one, Valtr's city, Loran and Isz. As for Gascoigne Gilbert Brador and all the others we don't know anything. In Dark Souls we have names and we know where people came from : Catarina, Astora, Forossa, Mirrah, Carim, Vinheim, Lordran etc)

Event being seen by random citizens or young characters growing up could be interesting!

I mean many characters again

I might stop here or it will never be over sorry... I'm not even sure it's really slept one but I wish we have more. There's just so many possibilities and things that can be created!

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Did you find out about the massive drama that aeons fans vs clons fans had on Twitter? It turns out that a cool fan from Brazil posted that Claire's Way noticed her drawing and said that "this is the real couple…Claire wouldn't date him lol" It's funny how those same fans said that their ship was canon because of Claire's VA and now they change their mind xd Whatever it is, I thought it was fake at first but that same Aeon fan showed the screen video and yes it is real and there are still people saying that it was edited lmaoo. And others complained to her that she should not have published this and should keep it to herself . And the Aeon fan only put him in a good mood, it's not her fault that the other ships already started doing a ship wars, it was never her intention to do something bad. In addition, the aeon fan is also a multishipper and also fan the cle*on.

Whatever it is, I hope they don't harass Claire's VA, not even another VA if they say something about a ship after all it is an opinion.

yeah and i did delete a few other asks i got already bringing this up and i didn't wanna respond to all of them so i will to this one because it's explained a bit more

im gonna be honest

IDGAF about this

i don't care what she said

i don't care if "the image was faked"

i don't care if "the video was faked"

ships wars are going to unfortunately exist. i think they're dumb, but fandom spaces are going to still exist so ship wars are going to happen

regardless - i highly doubt claire's va will be harassed, and if they do, i'm sure someone will make a big deal about it because she's a white woman.

[lettermanjack]

Why is project shimmer on indefinite hiatus? Are you busy with school or anything? Im just really invested in the storyline and I just HAVE to read more XD no pressure tho, I can wait until I die :)

In a nutshell, the entirety of the story way born from my Mephone hyperfix and because 13 year old me thought Mephone's storyline was horrendously overlooked by by the fandom and not written about enough SBBDBDDN.

Admittedly, Inanimate Insanity was the longest hyperfix I've ever had (almost clocking a full year), but when the hyperfix finally fizzled out, so did most of my motivation.

It was also a matter of me just getting older. As I got older my standards changed, I understood the subject matter I was handling more than I did when I 13-14 and that put some of the earlier chapters in a different light to me. I'm really just not very happy with most of it nowadays.

I kinda feel like it can come off as infantilizing at some points, which wasn't my intention but to me it just reads that way.

I'm 16 now, and have kinda just moved on to easier things and other fandoms. I know this answer is probably unsatisfying and I know a lot of people are sad that Project: Shimmer won't be continuing anytime soon. But it's by far the longest writing project I've ever worked on, and even if it's not finished and I don't like some of the writing anymore, I'm still happy it exists and that it inspired so many people to make fanart and the Mephone fics I've always wanted to see ever since I was 12 lmao :]

[moodbroads]

gettin used to tumblr so i may mess up- mini intro (feel free to ask questions!): hihi! u can call me nine/sketch/mikko/milo/whatever u wanna call me (yes even mcquackthedumbestofseven)

i go any/all pronouns!

ive been an elk (wapiti) therian for about 6ish years i think? idk i dont remember when i awakened i wasnt as online as much as i am now- i have been questioning some sort of other kintype though

i love vulture culture and have a few bones i found myself!

im into wings of fire, watership down, helluva boss/hazbin Hotel, warriors (duh lmao), worldbuilding in general tbh, speculative biology, nostalgic things, red dead and harry potter! (i prob have more but rn im running at 2 hours of sleep)

i are the pro in bad grammar B)

games i like rn (changes alot-): clangen, wolfquest, spore, red dead 2, planet zoo and hogwarts legacy lolol

roblox games i like rn XD: lake territory reborn, skyven, canine odyssey, a lions pride, wild horse islands, prehistoria, catalog avatar creator and creatures of sonaria!

small fun facts:

i wanna film animals/photograph them one day!

im on the autism spectrum and hypersexual but i dont like to mention it often due to my mental stuff being well- my mental stuff

i get way too many ideas in my head xdd

im very much queer and wanting to try everything in the book cuz like WOMEN YESSS but also MEN YESSS but also PEOPLE NOOOO soooo-

THERES A BIRD JUST CALLED BRANT..THATS IT..WHY BRANT?!?

i have 2 dogs! :)

dni: basically nobody cuz like..you can just lie or scroll on..its the internet do ya boogers not know what your on rn-

(AAAAA SORRY BIG TEXT WALL COMIN IN I JUST ACTUALLY WANTED TO GET A DNI IN) actual dni if people care: fictionkin-explained in a post factkin-explained in a post terfs or any kind of that shit (im lookin at you homophobes, cuz most are terfs too) jk rowling supporters (just the person and what they did, not the community/harry potter itself) anti-alterhuman, pro 'p-shifters' or 'p-shifters' art critiquers (WITHOUT PERMISSON) sexualizers of basically anything, no i dont wanna 'hear you out' that is a dog on 2 legs with an obvious dog dong hanging out-get help pro-PETA (vegans, vegetarians, pescatarians and animal cruelty people that are ACTUALLY HELPING are totally fine- love yall <3) pedos pedos and more pedos im gen z, i basically grew up on the internet, i know your intentions so no, fuck you who are you even tryna trick- not even 2 year olds can read your creepy ass pm cuz its all like 'hEy 11M wAnNa ShArE NUdS' like who even says 'numbergender' anymore other then omegle users (rip omegle but also horray cuz that site was horrid)

[pokemon-ash-aus]

Just read everything surrounding the dead au, and gotta say, while I love a good Mew/Mewtwo story (just look at my activity with you so far lol) the dead au is gold!

Now for the question, is the fact that the art style differs slightly between aus (from what I've seen) intentional?

Im glad your enjoying all my other AU's! I saw this earlier but only had time to respond now lol!

No it isnt intentional, it just happens that my style evolves as i change inbetween em XD

[mariska]

super random specific thing for me to ramble abt on tumblr lmao but. just woke up a lil bit ago, chillin in the living room, waiting for my "morning" medications dose (i woke up at noon today but. yknow. First Meds Of The Day Regardless, lol) to kick in so i can go brush my teeth and change into clean clothes and i usually keep something on tv as like 'background noise/visuals' whenever i'm waiting for meds to kick in, or just kind of in general when im in the living room by myself and not doing any kind of specific task, and usually i put it on like disney channel/disney xd/nick/cartoon network etc etc U Guys Know Me U Get The Idea, I Enjoy Cartoons And Such.

one of my moms must have been watching tv before i woke up today though cus it was on the Science Channel (not Syfy but the one thats abbreviated like 'SCI' in the corner) and when i first turned the tv on it was playing a show about unanswered theories/questions as to how things in the universe work, which is a topic that is one of my absolute fav special interests, so i was like. ooooh ok no cartoons for me today i will be listening to this tv show relay information that i have mostly already heard before bcus I Like That Kinda Stuff (previous episode was abt black holes as a topic which i personally think is almost always fun to hear abt since so many ppl have so many different theories regarding what a hypothetical 'journey' through/into a black hole might include and also all the people talking abt it were specifically including the fact that they were theories and we do not as a whole have a definite scientific answer yet to a lot of specific information abt what happens to an astronomical object of any kind deep into a black hole which i respect, i hate when ppl on these kinda shows voice theories and then are like 'and you just simply cant deny it! thats the only logical conclusion!' NO!!! THATS NOT SCIENCE. anyways. LMFAO)

REGARDLESS THAT IS NOT THE POINT, the point. is that its been a while since i've watched a 'space science' show like this one and i forgot. that while they do share rly cool info that i love hearing about. they are. SO. ANNOYING. ABOUT. THE MUSIC USED IN THE BACKGROUND SCORE OF LITERALLY EVERY SCENE SHOWING DEMONSTRATIONS OF WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABT.

its ALWAYS gotta have some ridiculous intense wannabe Armageddon 1998 type of action/thriller/suspense film score shit and it is SO distracting to me. i just want to hear the nice Scientist people talk about their ideas of what an abstract view of the inside of a black hole might look like. and the music in the back EVERY TIME is like.

DUN DUN DUN DUN.....bdududududu DUN! DUN!! DUN!!! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN!!!!!! .....BWWWAAAAMMMM

LIKE SHUT UPPPPP LMFAOOOOO its so annoying!!!! if i wanted to watch a space themed action movie i would watch a fuckin space themed action movie i just want to hear people talk about space!!!!!!

also this last thing is just a personal preference of mine that i'm sure would probably unintentionally bother people different from me in the same way that the action movie score thing bothers me, but i personally think that so much of the stuff that is covered and talked about on shows like these is so much more deserving of a musical score that evokes feelings of like. discovery, imagination, curiosity, astonishment, acceptance. instead of what usually seems to be trying to evoke like. fear, suspense, existential dread, confusion, anxiety. why do we make shows highlighting scientists talking about what we yearn to know regarding the universe we're all contained in if not to inspire the hypothetical audience watching that show? why would we want to score visual demonstrations of those topics in a way that creates fear and anxiety instead of more positive emotions that could be way more affirming to the individual curiosities of the audience?

this is becoming an Actual Special Interest Full-On Ramble Post so i'll make this my last paragraph i promise LMAOO that was not my intention making this post. but like. in my personal case, when i was a kid i was TERRIFIED of space. like, all of the stuff they talk about in these 'unanswered questions of the universe' shows was legitimately a huge source of severe anxiety and terror to me for pretty much my whole childhood, and it was in large part because every time i saw media with that as a core subject, even passively in the background of a room or something, it was presented as Inherently Scary. scary music, everything exploding in crappy lil 3D demonstrations (which like they still do but at least some of the vfx has improved over the yrs lol), clips of people in lab coats saying stuff like "and that's why if anything over THIS big EVER hit our planet we would ALL BE DEAD WITHIN HOURS WITH NO CHANCE OF SURVIVAL". like?!?!?!? of course i was terrified of that shit lmao!!! there were so few outlets for me, in my US american small town childhood experience at least, to actually be curious about Space and The Universe and How All This Stuff Might Work and The History Of It All, and the easiest to consume pop culture versions of that were all played up to be as unnecessarily edgy and spooky as possible. and its a shame when i think back on how many more years i could have spent in my early life being fascinated by space like i am now and have been since my mid/late teens, because that curious special interest potential was always there in me, but it was constantly answered by the world around me as something to fear instead of something to marvel at. i am autistic and i've always experienced different types of synesthesia, which for me is usually very 'visual mental image/colors/shapes' in nature, so like. music scores in any given program matter to me and it absolutely shapes my potential enjoyment of that piece of media. thankfully as an adult i can appreciate artistic choices more that i may not personally enjoy but that do make sense to me from a narrative/storytelling perspective, but as a child who struggled to understand what i was learning about space and the history of the earth as an astronomical body and the universe in general i very much did not have that insight or appreciation. it just created a strong mental association between "space/universe type of science" and "inherently scary, terrifying, chaotic, avoid at all costs" in my head. that sucks shit dude. the universe is incredible and space is amazing and all of it deserves to be presented to curious watchers in a way that makes them feel happy and excited to learn more information beyond the episode, not shut more information out of their life due to fear.

idk. its not that serious i know i just wish more media based on presentation scientific information to people could be more conscious of How it's presenting that info cus putting a ridiculous over the top action score in the background of every digital recreation shot of space is like. Not A Great Way To Present It. especially when the real human people talking about the topic in the show are NOT bringing that kind of energy to the interview at all and just seem to enjoy sharing this scientific info that they study and want more people to be interested in learning abt and studying like to me it feels kind of dismissive of the stuff they're literally saying too. u guys need more ambient synth musicians on ur fuckin score teams dude dial down the Inception bwaaaams 😭

[loopy777]

So im guessing you've at some point heard about Tolkien's original draft for lord of the rings, pre his many rewrites, where frodo was names Bingo Bolger-Baggins(A name tolkien hated, so ita hilarious he used it all the way up until the group reached Rivendel), the fellowship was composed of 5 hobbits, Gandalf and boromir, and that Tolkien originally envisioned Aragorn as a hobbit with wooden feet named Trotter.

He was eventually reworked into the character of Aragorn, with the original name(originally there because he always made sound on his wooden feet) being changed to strider, but did you know that Trotter's role and actions through the story was not changed much at all? Tolkien had the fellowship reach all the way up until Balin's tomb, before he finally decided he needes to fix the issue that was trotter... But not because he had any problem with the Hobbit's role.

No, Tolkien had no issue with this inexplicably badass, protesis wearing hobbit from a secret society called wild hobbits, skilled enough with steel and flame to chase away the nazguls at weathertop, lead the fellowship through eriador, knew history and lore well enough to retell the stories of beren and luthien, and on and on it went. He for all intents and purposes WAS Aragorn... No what Tolkien had an issue with was his backstory.

Tolkien created an intriguing character, with lots of memorable moments and actions, but he could not figure out a way to make it all fit together.

He had been captured in mordor, tortured, and had his legs cut off. Why? How did he escape? Why did he know so much? How did he become such a good friend of gandalf? Why was he so dedicated to the cause? How was he so skilled?

Tolkien created what was a very intriguing character, but when he sat down to think about it, and hammer out the characters backstory, he could not think up a backstory or timeline of events that would make sense of trotters life.

So he reimagined him several times, eventually settling on him being the same race as elrond, and a descendant of Earendil.

The only reason we got aragorn instead was because tolkien's famous imagination failed him on one character backstory. Imagine if tolkien had decided to just do what many other writers do, and just keep the exact details of his backstory vague, and go with the character anyway XD

I kinda doubt he'd have gone with the making him king angle, but honestly that could have been hilarious. Probably would have required some sword in the stone kinda plotline to make it work though.

Wow! I'd heard of "Trotter," but not any of the details.

(Unfortunately, I never got all the 'The History of Middle-earth' books. It's one of those things that was always my next purchase but now I'd either need to get mismatched covers or rebuy the ones I have. Sigh. The pitfalls of book-collecting.)

I love everything about this history. When I was reading LotR for the first time, I actually thought Aragorn was a bit of a Gary Stu and crafted to be so cool because he was going to replace Gandalf. Then Gandalf came back to life and I had to reevaluate Tolkien's intentions. (It didn't help that I didn't know anything about Tolkien at the time.) It ended up working pretty well with Aragorn becoming king and the way it was done, but I find it hilarious that the character didn't start as thoughts on an ideal king, but just Tolkien wanting a Gary Stu. And that Gary Stu was a hobbit! XD I someday aspire to write with that level of self-indulgence.

(Oh, wait, I write fanfic. I already do.)

It's a shame Aragorn didn't keep the wooden feet, though. That would have been an interesting addition, although I guess it might be too darkly funny for a character named "Strider," and LotR wasn't going for that tone in its finished version.

Thank you for sharing this! It might be one of the best stories I've heard of accidental genius in story development.

[definitelynotshouting]

MINECRAFT SHINGLES, OMG HEGSJAGAGAKA

This is an amazing way to word it, and I'm stealing that, bcuz this is also exactly what happened to me lol. I'm 21, I've watched MC vids for 6 months now, I've played for 2 xdd

No immunity, only blocks lol

Also, let's unite in being anti-chest-monster, I very quickly realised how overwhelming digging through chests of junk can be for me, it just sucks the enjoyment right out of the game. I've been looking into building some sort of a redstone sorting system, cuz I discovered I really like redstone, but I don't think I'm on that level yet haha

But I love exploring, flying around, collecting pretty blocks, and orgainising everything into neat stacks (that last one scratches my autism brain pfftttt), so it's only a matter of time before I attempt a storage system like that

And I must unfortunately dissappoint you, for I have no real rhyme or reason when it comes to planning my builds 😅

Ideas and block combos just usually pop into my head, and then I try them out straight in the survival world. I sometimes mess up, change blocks, remove things, so it's not an efficient way to do things, but it does work for me. Plus I've noticed I'm kinda like Etho, my houses are mostly just interior lmaoooo. It's usually a hot mess of things I thought are cool at a time, and a consistent building style is something I lack xd. For example, my island is decorated with moss, spruce leaves, ferns, a fire pit, etc. (cabin in the woods vibes), my fields and animal pen are on interconnected artificial islands on my lake, my potion lab is in a basement I dug under said island and I made it with blackstone and a lot of the nether warped stems (evil scientist style), and the house I made is on top of a... futuristic tree I made from glass and leaves, and said house in itself looks like a Rich Person Seaside Mansion, and it's in white and blue

I supppose this is a real representation of my brain xdd

Also, I'm the person who makes farms for communal use, I was sleeping under the sky for SO LONG, cuz I made a gunpowder farm for my friends, an xp enderman one, now I wanna build a gold one in the nether, and I'm wrangling villagers into a trading hall rn (they are a nightmareeeee xddd)

~🌠

Oh gods redstone scares the crap out of me, i feel like i definitely fall on the builder side of things rather than being a more technical player-- but then i also havent messed with it much yet, so maybe i will surprise myself!!! Still, building a redstone sorting system seems real fun!!! Me when i can just sort things automatically.... the autism is Winning™ truly.

Tbh out of all my friends i am the person with the most Planning Brain. Cannot do a single thing on the fly it Must be scheduled, hopefully about three business days in advance at least /hj 😂😂😂😂 this apparently applies to minecraft in that i will open CSP and meticulously edit a screenshot to reflect what i want the area to look like, then meticulously plan a build outline, then carefully mull over multiple ideas for the block palette, then go BACK into the creative world to double check ive got the right measurements from the outline before ever setting foot back in my survival world 💀💀💀

Your builds sound so cool and unique though, thats amazing!!! Glass tree..... looking so intently at that tbh. Also gods i am dreading the part where i need to wrangle villagers for farms 😭😭😭😭😭 especially bc im entertaining the idea of putting all my farms underground so they're beneath/within the ruins i plan to make under the lake near my base. Luckily there is a village literally on the edge of the lake so at least theyre close by 💀