#not in great condition. feeling. unwell. what is wrong with me? i've wanted to be friends with the sun for so long

[outlying-hyppocrate]

he has stood under the sun for so long that time begins to collapse into itself. she makes me experience the strangest colors. and how is everyone else today

[heavensentofficial]

Hello Lettie,

I've seen you a couple of times at the Hospital. I have heard that you have taken on the role as Temple Leader in Jordan's absence. I hope you aren't overworking yourself on your duties. If you ever feel unwell, please feel free to stop by the Hospital.

On a slightly less professional note, I have visited the Temple Gardens and they are quite lovely. I wonder if I can try to grow some of the plants from there, and if you have any tips on how to take care of them.

Sincerely, @hanshospitality

Hans, right? Hello! c:

Yes, I am quite a frequent patient of Doctor Harper's... We still haven't gotten to the bottom of what is actually wrong with me, but I'm there enough for your name to ring a bell! Um... If I'm to be completely honest, I have been overwhelmed, even with the efforts to limit physical exertion. Jordan's duties paired with my own is quite a lot. However, I generally already know how to deal with my flareups I think and I keep medical supplies in my room - so unless something is severe or out of the ordinary, I probably won't need to burden the good doctor. I hear you are quite understaffed there, after all...

Although I can't help but wonder... Is this you asking, or did he request you do so? ... I suppose it doesn't matter! In any case, I'm thankful for the concern. I'll try to be sure I take care of myself. It would be problematic if I got especially ill at the same time as Jordan, after all.

As for the gardens, hearing you say that made me smile c: I haven't been able to be as hands on as I'd like with the efforts to get them in order (Though I rarely am, really.) I've been trying a combination of rewarding people for helping and telling them about the plants, their symbolism in scripture and what we use them for, in an effort to get everyone to feel more, ah... Attached to the garden I guess? If they better understand the work and care more about it, maybe they'll be more inclined to uh... Do it! I sure hope so. I'd be happy to talk more about some of the plants we have here under the cut! We did have to order these online, though. I don't think most of them are available here very easily. I'll throw in some extra information about how I use them too, just for fun. Even if you happen know a lot of it, maybe other people will find it helpful or entertaining?

Firstly, Lavender ^^

Our main concern currently has been trying to get the lavender we already have under control - it gets so wild and woody when it's left to its own devices, but it's really best to trim lavender in late summer. We just uprooted some of the problematic ones (I could probably give you some to propagate if you would like?) and made sure to cover it in a protective fleece from the frost. I think they sell plastic ones? But I can make fleece winter-covers easily.

Lavender really likes sunny spots and fast draining spoil. When you first plant it, it'll be thirsty and want to be watered plenty - but once it's established you really don't want to unless it's been drought-y (Unless it's in a container I suppose?)

They make a great companion for cabbages and tomatoes. They like similar conditions and repel bugs that would want to eat your food without anything having to be harmed c: At the same time, bees and butterflies love it! You can even put the seeds into a bird feeder. ^^

Oftentimes, we use lavender in purification and healing ceremonies. (It's useful enough to keep on my person most of the time when I'm working! Sprigs of it, lavender-oil, anything really.)

Also it's delicious in tea and soothing for your muscles when you put it in a bath - and inhaling the resulting steam often alleviates my headaches. Applying lavender oil or salve to bandages helps wounds close faster, too! ^^ Accidents happen ahaha...

Uhh... Then there's roses, we have quite a few of those. When I first saw mentions of someone called Briar, I must admit, I thought Jordan was upset about tearing their robes on all the briar bushes. They were so wild before...

This time of year is a fantastic time to plant bare-root roses! As for roses you already have though, they'll be just starting to come out of dormancy right around now, so it's a good time to prune them, so they're nice and prepared for the coming year ^^ When you cut roses, try to make sure you're cutting just a little above a bud at an angle, to encourage new growth.

Roses like similar spots to lavender, but they'll want to be watered more often. Moist, but not wet. Try not to water the leaves, naturally... Roses will also appreciate being fertilised regularly.

Roses don't like much competition and it's important to make sure they have plenty of space to get some air, but with that in mind, alliums, geraniums and marigolds will protect your roses from pests. At the temple, we've been using garlic and onions. (Any opportunity to grow more of our own food is welcome. Some level of self sufficiency is sort of part of the whole... Monastic Lifestyle thing...)

If you want roses that will attract pollinators, go for a single or semi-double bloom so that bees can have easy access. This year, we planted Lady of the Lake roses, which are a pale pink/off white sort of colour with a citrusy scent to them (I'm excited to try eating them ^^) Maybe if we grow enough of these, the lady I sometimes see at the lake will give me a sword? (Kidding~)

In scripture, red roses are symbolic of blood and sacrifice and white of purity. (I'm curious about those two-tone red and white roses... I always have liked them a lot. Maybe I can try growing them, one day, even if only in a pot in my room...) Roses in general also have connotations with the afterlife. I also know Jordan has a rose-based concoction they sometimes use for purification ^^

As for myself, I sometimes use rose water for my skin - and similar to lavender, to make wounds heal faster - and also as a wound wash. (Very helpful to have on hand, especially if an initiate gets hurt while doing their duties! Never good.) I also try to stay stocked up on rosehips. The tea's useful to have while recovering from illnesses and for certain kinds of pain. c:

I think Cyclamen are a pretty common sight in churchyards, but I think that's for good reason

For starters, it's always nice to have flowers that are actually in bloom in the winter! I think these might be the main one you've seen as of late, aside from the rosehips? I also planted some around the general area of the cemetery recently, though that was before I was left in charge. I can't say for sure how much the dead care about having flowers near their bodies, but I don't know that they don't... Maybe I could plant some near the lake, too... Around this time of year, when they're in full bloom, watering them correctly is important, since the roots are so susceptible to rot. You sort of want to wait until the leaves look like they're beginning to droop and the earth feels dry. If it's very rainy, I like to give them some shelter.

Cyclamen like partial shade. We have them mostly near the outskirts of the garden, where the canopy from the forest will sort of protect them from the elements. They're happiest in well-draining, rich, acidic soil, so giving the soil a little snack is sure to be appreciated. c:

They pair well with most woodland plants, really! Snowdrops, primroses and ferns come to mind. Ours are hanging out with primroses. (Lonely plants are kind of sad...)

Like I mentioned with the cemetery thing, cyclamen are super commonly used as memorial flowers! We use them a lot as altar decorations for funerals and certain holy days. They're also used in certain types of incense! (Not all of it. Just some!) They look like they have little bowing heads, so I think they bring kind of a sense of piety to mind for some people? I think they are adorable.

I think there's a way to prepare them that helps with sinus issues, but I don't really bother to. In the past, people ate them to ease menstrual pains and some other stuff, but even if they work, they do also cause a spot of convulsing, vomiting and dying, so... Whether it's worth it, you be the judge! You're the medical practitioner. I just like reading and experimenting. ^^;

It was roughly around this point when I remembered that I'm meant to be responding to somebody's message (and that most of this was completely unasked for ahaha... Oh well...) I think I got a little overexcited at the chance to talk about a thing I'm interested in, my apologies.

Thank you again for reaching out to me ^^ Even if I don't feel great for a bit, I'm likely to be fine ultimately.

[juszar2]

What is the condition that people grow resentment if you do not set aside your boundaries and let them all through your life. Being private, guarded and cautious causes them to want to be inside of the toilet while you disrobe and sit on it. Somehow stalking is their urge. They are so obsessive and really sick. This low life has certainly seen and witnessed just how stalker/hater/scorn people become over me. Could be minding My business and the tactics and stalking becomes severe. Resentment and jealousy. He has definitely seen.

Or I'd get folks, usually female to stand around and pray for an opportunity to see me or stand on the other side of a door where I am and speak.... Really to me, without speaking to me. What is that? I always thought that to be so unsophisticated, really stalker like and just low and child-like. Those females that do that are really common and lacking a whole lot. What were they taught. Not my type for friendship or company. Find out you're nearby and then stand on the other side of a door or close enough and try to get my attention desperately. It is really small of them. I remember some of the things those types have said when doing those performances and I wonder why they don't feel unwell. Or just stupid and lowly. If you have something you must in dire need say to me why not come ask to speak to me and say it. That way, I can take my turn and say some things. The answer is that your gripe or problem with me would reveal you and is really a problem with... You, because it is unwarranted and stupid. The truth is that your feelings regarding me being guarded and private cause you upset. You want to let me know of your scorn. But....... Isn't it ironic that your performances wherein you attempt to disrespect me as a dire attempt for attention really does reveal that Yes, there was absolutely the need for me to be guarded and boundaried. You are trying to harm me for..... Nothing. Because I have not served to let you get beyond my wall where I watch out for types.... Ironically like You that put on such opportunistic performances. You proved to be what I considered to be possible, but admittedly didn't lean toward you being. While still distant, I'd given you more credit than you actually deserved. You proved me wrong you really are one of those. But it's OK because that's why common means common, you are among many. Count me out though because I would never... It's beneath me.

Beyonce could be in the same room or building with me and never would I seek to look in her belongings or invade her in any way. I definitely do not want to see her nude. What is this surge in homosexuality with females. She wouldn't even need to be bothered by me. I am respectful, preserve dignity and there is not a sick nor obsessive bone in my body. I have met sick freaks with mental conditions lacking any real character. What is this whole "if you don't let me pocket you, I will have resentment and show how sick I am and how I was raised really wrong" I fear that even if you watch someone be raised, that does not mean it was done well and you only need to give them the opportunity to show you that. I have been shocked by what I have seen. There is something wrong with people. I am sure that there is what is not trash out there... I created some, but when I see the opposite of that, it is something to see.

I do love when God let's me meet and get to know great women to counter my experience. I thank god that I know some good, decent, dignified, respectful, real and practical, wise women. Women who would side eye some crap like that. Why am I so different and where the hell are more of me? If I spoke more of some of these garbage experiences that I've had in life, I wonder who or how many have encountered these same sick things. That would likely be my tribe. It might only happen to a certain segment of woman... Real woman