#not him coping by talking about Lilly again

[snake-spire]

Not John getting therapy and finding out he’s gay while Arthur is down for the count.

Slay.

[shadesoflsk]

WILL YOU BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS?

pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x gn!reader

summary: It's going to be Leon's first Christmas without you. He promised you he would get over your death. But how is he planning to do it if the ghost of you keeps haunting him?

warnings: Character’s death, (reader) angst, hurt/no comfort, self-destructing behaviour, alcohol, mentions of religion, Leon speaks with reader.

author's note: I took the liberty to switch the order of my Christmas' special fics, I decided to post this one first since I liked it a lot. I would even say it’s my favorite one so far. Grief is such an interesting topic to write about, so I hope I did a great job! The dialogue part was lowkey (highkey) inspired by one scene from the Crown, season 6. The one where Carlos talked with Diana’s spirit. 

It’s 11:45 pm or so Leon believes. Time seems to slow down when night engulfs his apartment, and he is let alone with his own demons. He would be in pitch darkness if it wasn’t from the fact that his neighbor had decided to turn on the Christmas tree lights that reached through Leon’s windows. Faint carols could be heard, and it was a dreadful reminder of what date it was. 

He is trying, he really is. He drowns in his job that is slowly but surely killing him. Mission after mission, he keeps attempting to mess up — with no avail — since life is cruel enough to keep him alive, to continue watching his sins materialize in sorrow and depressive states. 

During the latter, he would often forget or purposely avoid taking care of himself. When was the last time he ate a full meal? He doesn’t nor wants to remember. His apartment was starting to reek of alcohol and rotten food that Claire has so gratefully left. She would often try striking up some conversation, which was welcomed with an awkward but expected silence. He was never the talkative one. On numerous occasions, he was reprimanded by you for this same topic. So, in the past, he decided to stick with a one-liner — that sometimes brought him unnecessary attention — the dinner one. Your laugh would fill his ears as he told you about the multiple times where people thought he was flirting with them. If you were here, could he make you laugh like that again? Or would you be disgusted by the man he has become these last weeks?

Besides his own memory serving as the place where your face and mannerisms would replay all over again, where are you now? He once heard that a soul is destined to be reborn into a new life. Life is cyclical, the sun rises and sets, the day and night come, but they never meet. He wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a lilly now. The pureness in your heart resembled one of those delicate flowers that your eyes seemed to follow each time you passed through a flower shop. Or maybe you’re someone’s baby being born. Bringing happiness to a family that prayed all night long for a miracle to happen. 

His mind wandered through the blurry moments when he was young. Prayers and cries surrounding a well illuminated place where many statues were presented. He used to fear one specifically, but the gentle touch of his mom would pull him closer to it. In his memory, he looked up to see the person who gave him life, yet he was met with a diffuse image of her. He has long forgotten the looks of his mother. 

In those moments, he often wondered what heaven felt like. He grasps on the last string of memories he had with his parents. How his mother would pull him to her lap and read to him. “Our God loves us so much that he has granted us a place to go when the time is right,” she would say, the term of death was so foreign to his little self but once again he remembers those prayers and promises. Is heaven the clear sky and peaceful home the Bible describes? Or is it a nonexistent place that Christians invented to cope with the fact that a loved one is no longer with them? He hopes it’s the first one since he wants to indulge in that little wish of him — that at least in the afterlife — you found peace. 

How is heaven? He wanted to ask you. Conversations with you used to flow so easily, so right. So, when the time comes he expects to hear every little rambling about your early trip to this called “everlasting paradise”. Is it raining right now? You loved rainy days, since it meant that both of you could cuddle while watching a movie. Or is it snowing since it’s Christmas?  He could almost hear you, your voice echoing in the deepest places of his mind telling him to stop trying to open the gifts. You were supposed to be next to him right now, waiting for Christmas to come.

He is in denial, two weeks ago he had you safely tucked in his arms, already planning what to do on Christmas. He still had your gift somewhere, hidden from your prying eyes even though you kept scolding him for that. Both of you were soulmates, two sides of the same coin. 

Now, he only had the ghost of you haunting him. Mocking him for not being able to protect you. He was hyper aware of every little detail his apartment provided. From the way he hasn’t moved your used mug on the dishwasher, because he feels that it was the last thing your lips touched. A bittersweet memory of your existence in this cruel world, to your book that you didn’t finish. You kept telling him that you were dying to know the ending but you couldn’t finish it before it was too late. If he reads it and prays to God, would he be generous enough to tell you the ending? 

He wouldn’t.

Every night he prayed to God, begged him to switch places with you even though it was an unrealistic thing to ask. But that’s what he wants right now. “It should’ve been me.” But that wish never becomes a reality. He wakes up, night after night, being him and being alone. God doesn’t hear him, he believes that this made up character just blatantly hates him. The forgiving, the loving and almighty God as his followers describe him, just doesn’t match up with his own criteria. A loving God wouldn’t have taken away his only reason to live.

The content in his Jack Daniel’s now does little to numb the pain he was feeling. With a sigh, he drank a bit more, straight from the bottle as the burning sensation traveled from his tongue to his throat. If he drinks enough until he passes out, he could imagine you. Moving across the kitchen with agile steps as you cook his favorite food.

Those moments were the ones he thinks he should've embraced more. Your quirks and habits. How you usually left traces of yourself in his apartment. How you always missed a spot when cleaning the counter and how you always kissed his forehead when placing the plate down on the table. 

Now, it's a bitter reminder of his own loneliness. His eyebrows twitched as the Christmas carols seemed to get louder. The clock reads 11:50 pm, ten minutes to Christmas. Even with the thick snow, the chants of kids being too stubborn to fall asleep were loud enough to fill Leon's ears. He hates living in this neighborhood filled with happy families.

You had a wide and warm smile when you showed Leon this same apartment he's currently rotting in. “It will be perfect once we have a family,” he remembers word by word what you said and he also remembers how you stumbled on your words once you saw the quizzical look he gave you. “I mean we could just have a dog or a cat if you want that. After all, family is where you are.”

Always the damn perfect partner. Always the stupid understanding other half. Why the hell did you even appear in his life if you were gonna die? Everyone else mourned your death but now they are moving on, yet Leon is staying in a never ending loop. Was it your plan? Are you fucking happy in heaven?

For once, he feels all the anger he’s been bottling up. His fists clenched as his breaths grew heavier. He throws the bottle against the wall. The contents spilling all over the floor as the bottle shattered in multiple pieces. He stared at the mess he’s done. His shaking hands grabbed handfuls of his own hair as he tried his best to compose himself. His mind repeating that you would be disappointed over and over again. 

Icy blue eyes started to get clouded by tears he refused to let go. The palm of his hand almost bled by his own nails digging into the thin skin. The regrets and what ifs were the perfect combination for Leon’s wish of dying albeit the fact of his own self deprecating being who believed he deserved to live this hell of a life alone. 

As he managed to keep his tears at bay for now, his eyes lingered on your designated seat at the table. You would always sit at his right, next to him, sometimes holding his hand, forcing him to eat his food with his left one. Now, his hand is cold without your touch. Which reminds him of your body and the last time he held you. Your heart no longer beat and your body was a freezing cruel realization of your death. 

“I was never good with emotions…” Leon’s voice came out as a groan. He had finally spoken after God knows how long. His own throat was constricted by the lump that was forming. He was denying himself the right to be raw, to be human. “You were the one who was better at everything… not me.” Leon swallows his own saliva, an attempt to stop the imminent lump. 

“I guess I was.” A melodic voice which was no more than a whisper filled Leon’s intoxicated ears. He looks at the empty seat next to him and sees nothing. It may be his own mind playing dirty tricks on him. Everything was blurred and dizzy from all the booze he had drunk. But nonetheless, he wouldn’t miss this opportunity, even if you were a creation of his own messed up mind. 

“I’ll take every little moment with me.” The voice was painfully comforting, a soothing lullaby to Leon’s broken beyond repair heart, a gentle breeze that surrounded his body. “The hugs, the kisses, our little trips to the beach and even the fights when none of us could go to bed without saying sorry.” 

A laugh as soft as a draft lingered in the air. The reality behind those words made Leon feel like he was going crazy. He blames the alcohol and the lack of social interactions for this moment. But your bubbly personality was unmistakable. That sweet and tooth- roothing laugh was — at least to Leon — proof that maybe, just maybe, God allowed him to grasp on you one last time.

Or maybe God allowed you to pay him a visit. Neither of you were religious people, but you were closer to heaven that he’ll ever be. So, maybe that pure and wholesome smile blinded God, and you escaped, true to your rebellious nature. Your death turned him into a sappy man. He has always loved you, but the tragic destiny you met made him see you in an even better light. 

“You know I loved you so much…” The voice turned sour and sad, so out of character for you. Well… if it’s you. Even in your last days, you tried to be that thoughtful partner, pushing away every worry out of his mind even though you were slowly withering away. The words slightly trembled, albeit the raw honesty that was being said. Silence set as if the owner of the voice was attempting not to cry. 

“So deeply…” The hushed voice seemed to get even quieter as the course of its words dug deeper in Leon’s heart making it bleed harder than ever. His hand itches to reach where he thinks you are, as if you could materialize from thin air and give him one last hug. One last farewell.

“Please, stop blaming yourself for this. This wasn’t your fault.” Yes, it was. Leon wanted to tell you that. You planted seeds of hope in his heart even when he felt the world was too corrupted to be home for someone as splendid as you. The sense of your living left him chasing footsteps and shadows in order to meet you again.

And as a moth to a flame, he followed you. The chemicals in his brain working overtime to hear the gentle ring of your voice as long as you keep talking. It doesn’t matter if this behavior could put him at a psych after. Talking with ghosts? That can’t happen, yet his love for you seems to break the rules between life and the realms of the afterlife.

“You weren’t supposed to go so soon…” Leon’s voice fills the dim room, engaging in conversation, the tears that he was previously fighting off were at the verge of falling from his eyes. But as a stubborn man, he wouldn’t show weakness and vulnerability, even in a moment like this. “I know nothing good lasts long in my life but —” a choke left his lips as the lump is now growing impossible to hold back. “What kind of twisted sin am I paying off? I can’t live a life without you, I simply can’t.”

“I wasn’t done with you, I wasn’t done with our life. I wanted to adopt that dog we saw at the shelter. Do you remember? I wanted to take you to Italy because you once told me you wanted to try a real pizza.” A shaky breath cuts off Leon’s speech before he continues, his slurred words stumbling one another as if he knew he was running out of time. “I wanted to grow old with you, I wanted to be the first person to notice the gray hair appearing in you. The first wrinkles in your face, which I’m sure would have looked amazing in you darling, you were always perfect. I wanted to help you stand up when your legs couldn’t carry the weight of your body. I wanted —”

“Leon.”

“I wanted to at least spend one last Christmas with you.”

He finishes off with one last wish. One last desire he had hid in his mind for a while now. He knew everything had ended, but right now, he wanted to hear you one last time. He wanted to hear an "I love you" from you.

And there it was… the last thing he wanted to hear. Nothing. 

As soon as the deadly silence filled the room again, uncontrollable tears streamed down his face. Leon bent forward, his forehead hitting against the hard material of the table, letting out all of his repressed emotions. In the midst of his despair and hatred, he cried not only for you and the fact that he failed to protect you. Each drop carried the weight of every life that was lost under his watch, each one of those bright eyed agents who were looking forward to working with him, and only found death in their paths.

What has he done wrong to deserve this terrible but inevitable outcome? He’s beyond tired, beyond hopeless. In his rage, he could only blame the world. 

God, why have you forsaken me? 

He stays there for a while, drowning in his own tears. As reality once again sets in. Deep down, he knew this would be the last time. The universe granted him (or cursed him) by allowing him to hear you one last time. Hear the tender tone of your voice calling his name like you used to do. And maybe he should take that with him just like you did. 

Everyone dies, so will he. There will be a time when God takes pity on him and allows him to meet you once again. Once the time comes and he's sent to the place where you are, he will tell you about the book’s ending. He will tell you about every mission he will get in the still unknown future. He will tell how much he missed you and how much he loved your presence, even if it was just the blink of an eye. He doesn’t know what else he will tell you, but he’s going to make sure to have a list before parting from this world — in a long, far future.

He had enjoyed meeting and being with you. And if somehow God gives him another chance, he would choose you over and over again.

The sweet carols have grown faint and not even the innocent chants of those children filled Leon’s empty and dark living room. It’s already christmas.

[thatonelesbianfander]

Full Sanders Sides Recap and Timeline as of the start of 2024

I’m bored so here is a full timeline recap of the Sanders Sides episodes (as well as a few important off-camera events and the more episodic Sanders ASides) before the season 2 finale!

Recap under the cutoff

Season 1- 17 Episodes (October 19, 2016 - July 15, 2017)

S1 E1- My True Identity

October 19, 2016

Lore revealed: Creativity/Prince, Logic/Teach, and Morality/Dad are introduced

Episode summary: C!Thomas and the sides talk about different aspects of Thomas’s personality

S1 E2- WAY TOO ADULT

November 21, 2016

Stove is introduced and then never seen again :(

C!Thomas and Morality discuss ways of becoming an adult and independent

S1 E3- Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!!

December 19, 2016

Anxiety is introduced

C!Thomas and C!Lilly Singh talk about the different ways to cope and deal with anxiety

S1 E4- A New Year of Lying to Myself… In Song!!

January 2, 2017

First song of the series, Lies, is sung

C1Thomas and the sides talk about goals for the New Year

S1 E5- The Dark Side of Disney!

January 9, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas, Creativity, and Anxiety talk about the different messages Disney movies provide

EVENT- Vine shuts down, C!Thomas moves to making content on YouTube

January 17, 2017

S1 E6- I’M IN A DISNEY SHOW!!

January 23, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas accounts his experiences being on a Disney show with the sides

S1 E7- The MIND vs. The HEART!

January 30, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas, Logic, and Morality come up with compromises for past arguments

S1 E8- Alone on VALENTINE’S DAY!

February 13, 2017

C!Valerie is introduced

C!Thomas and the sides discuss how to ask someone out on a date using C!Valerie as an example

S1 E9- Losing My Motivation

Feb 28, 2017

Logic’s name is revealed to be Logan

C!Thomas, Logic, and Morality investigate to find out why C!Thomas is procrastinating on working on a new video

S1 E10- Sanders Sides Q&A!

March 7, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides answer questions from the viewers

S1 E11- Am I ORIGINAL?

March 22, 2017

Prince’s name is revealed to be Roman

C!Thomas and the sides discuss different ideas trying to get an original idea

S1 E12- My NEGATIVE Thinking

April 4, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

Logan and Anxiety have a debate after C!Thomas flunked an audition earlier that day

EVENT- First birthday of C!Thomas since the start of the series

April 24, 2017

S1 E13- Growing Up

May 1, 2017

Morality’s name is revealed to be Patton and the mind palace is introduced

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the proper steps to adulthood

S1 E14- Making Some Changes!

May 23, 2017

The sides are revealed to be able to shape shift

The sides shape shift into C!Thomas’s friends, C!Joan, C!Talyn, C!Terrence, and C!Valerie

S1 E15- Becoming a CARTOON!

June 9, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas breaks into C!Butch Hartman’s office in an attempt to become a cartoon, and him and the sides become cartoons for a day

S1 E16- ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety!

June 10, 2017

Anxiety ducks out, and the concept of the sides having their own rooms is introduced

C!Thomas and the sides find out that Thomas doesn’t have any anxiety and come up with a plan to go to his room to find out why

S1 E17- ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?

June 10, 2017 (Posted IRL on July 15, 2017)

Anxiety’s room Anxiety’s name is revealed to be Virgil, and Anxiety gets a redemption arc

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the positives of anxiety

EVENT- C!Thomas and C!Thomas’s ex break up (C!Thomas’s ex’s name unknown, but is referred to as an “Old lover” in the Wes Anderson Sanders ASides)

July 15, 2017

Season 2- 15 Episodes (September 1, 2017 - Present)

S2 E1- Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!)

September 1, 2017

The sides get costume updates

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the idea of fitting in using the idea of Hogwarts houses from Harry Potter

S2 E2- MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia

October 2, 2017

Patton’s room is revealed

C!Thomas and the sides go to Patton’s room so Thomas can cope with a recent breakup

S2 E3- MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup

October 2, 2017 (Posted IRL on October 25, 2017)

Patton gets his iconic cat hoodie from Logan

The plot of the first part continues as C!Thomas and the sides discuss the negative sides to nostalgia after Logan leaves

S2 E4- The Sanders Sides 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!

December 24, 2017

No important lore discoveries or reveals

The sides sing their rendition of the Christmas carol, The 12 Days of Christmas, with several different antics

EVENT- C!Thomas misses a reading of C!Joan’s play

February 2, 2018

S2 E5- Can LYING Be Good??

February 3, 2018

Deceit is introduced and it’s revealed that the sides can only be seen by C!Thomas

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the many different forms of lies through stage theatre after C!Thomas misses a reading of C!Joan’s play

S2 E6- Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

April 12, 2018

No important lore discoveries or reveals

Logan and Roman have a debate about why C!Thomas does everything that he does

S2 E7- Crofters - The MUSICAL!

April 19, 2018

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas, Logan, and Roman sing a song about jelly after getting a sponsorship from Crofter’s Organic and Logan gets his own jelly flavor

EVENT- Thomas is told about Lee and Mary Lee’s wedding

September 26, 2018 (date revealed by Logan in SvS)

S2 E8- Learning New Things About Ourselves

October 29, 2018

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss learning new things about themselves while using puppets

S2 E9- EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas!

December 24, 2018

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the concept of phases using Halloween costumes

S2 E10- Selfishness v. Selflessness

March 31, 2019

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss selfishness and selflessness in a mock court room setting after Thomas gets a callback scheduled for the same day as a wedding for his two friends, Lee and Mary Lee

S2 E11- Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

April 2, 2019 (Posted IRL on June 25, 2019)

The Duke is introduced and name is revealed to be Remus

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the topic of intrusive thoughts after Thomas couldn’t get to sleep due to a really bad nightmare

S2 E12- Are There Healthy Distractions?

April 10, 2019 (Posted IRL on November 22, 2019)

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss different kinds of distractions while watching Disney’s Frozen

S2 E13- Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux

April 13, 2019 (Posted IRL on May 1 2020)

Deceit’s name is revealed to be Janus

C!Thomas, Roman, and Patton discuss the concept of putting other people before yourself

EVENT- POF endcard scene

April 30, 2019

S2 E14- Flirting with Social Anxiety

October 10, 2020

Nico Flores is introduced

C!Thomas, Roman, and Virgil work out a way to try and talk to a guy in the food court of a mall

EVENT- The Return of the Jam!- The sides all get their own jelly flavors

February 19, 2021

S2 E15- Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts

April 20, 2021 (Posted IRL on July 31, 2021) (using the date that can be seen on C!Thomas’s phone in episode)

The orange side is teased for the first time through Logan’s outburst

C!Thomas and Logan discuss different kinds of intrusive thoughts while C!Thomas stresses about cleaning up his apartment

EVENT- Have I Grown? - Five Years Later (Sanders Sides 5 year anniversary special)

Posted: November 14, 2021

EVENT- Can Plushies Improve Our Health? (Sanders ASides)

August 26, 2022

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the many ways plushies can be helpful

EVENT- “Into the Unknown” - Over the Garden Wall Cover (Sanders ASides)

October 31, 2022

Janus sings for the first time in the series

EVENT- If Wes Anderson Directed the Sanders Sides… (Sanders ASides)

June 23, 2023

EVENT- The Sides Need a Nice Day (Sanders ASides)

July 16, 2023

EVENT- Virgil Reacts to Anxiety from Inside Out 2 (Sanders ASides)

November 19, 2023

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the different ways anxiety can present in other people after Virgil reacts negatively to the Anxiety character that was revealed in the trailer for Inside Out 2

EVENT- What Makes the Perfect Gift? (Sanders ASides)

December 23, 2023

No important lore discoveries or reveals

C!Thomas and the sides discuss the many different types of gifts through a secret Santa type of activity when Thomas can’t think of a gift to give Nico

[cajunfoxnight]

Hi really interested in this reconstruct Au!! Do you have more information about the story?

Oh Anon.. I hope you are ready for the can of worms you have just opened 😬

I should warn you tho, I am not the best at telling a story, and im worse at explaining one. However I also want to share this AU as its been something ive been working on for 8+ years, and while it is mostly a self indulgent Monster AU, full of stereotypical troupes and cliches, its also very important to me. I made this AU when I was not in a good place mentally and was using it as a way to cope with and express the feelings I was having at the time. Its changed a lot and truth be told its actually 2 story lines that combine to become 1 down the line. But for the sake of this ask, I will focus on talking about the Reconstruct backstory.

Anyway if youre still interested in what the story is about, then please continue reading! I will do my best to try not to babble too much but.. its going to happen anyway 😅

TW: So I should probably start off with mentioning that this AU does contain emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, and mention of body mutilation. Not that im going to go into the details of that here but thats just me covering my own ass :v At the point the story is at now, Gladion is much older than he is in the games/manga/anime. His actual age isnt fully known as the theme with this AU deals with time and interdimensional travel, so its hard to keep track of, but he appears to be in his early 20s. But for all intents and purposes he is an adult.

✨The story ✨ So the Reconstruct AU is something of a "bad ending" storyline.

So this story follows that of the canon for the beginning. Mohn disappeared when he fell through an Ultra Space worm hole that was opened, and his whereabouts are unknown. Lusamine still went into her crazy and Ultra Beast obsessed self, only concerned with youth, beauty, and keeping things as under her control as much as she can. Gladion steals TYPE:NULL and Lillie taking Nebby and running away. Lillie going to live with Kukui and Gladion joining Team Skull as their enforcer.

In this timeline, Lusamine, in her desperate need to have control of everything around her, decides that she will create her "perfect world" where she will surround herself with all of the things that she loves. A place where everything will be kept exactly the way she wants them, preserved for all of time, and where she wont ever be alone again. However she knows that she can not do this on her own, but knows who can. Someone younger, stronger, and already has knowledge about the UBs and Aether. Now the hard part is getting him to join her, but she has a plan for that.

Lusamine gets in contact with Guzma (as in this story he still "works" for her) and with the help of some choice words, a good sob story, and probably a fat check, she's able to convince him that she has changed and she wants help from him to convince Gladion of these things as well. Being that he and Gladion are so close, and obviously he trusts him so much, it shouldnt be hard for him to talk some sense into him, right? She does an amazing job at getting Guzma on her side, having him think that Gladion is just being a bratty, rebellious, edgy teen. After all, he comes from some nice rich family, could have anything he wants, and yet still chose to ran away, how bad could it have possibly been? Does he even realize how bad some of these kids have it? How badly HE had it?? So generally he thinks that Gladion is just over reacting/being dramatic. He doesnt know how good he's had it, obviously!

Guzma sets up this whole "ambush". He has Gladion come back to the shady house, getting him inside and cornering him in his room, where he is confronted by Lusamine. She puts on this big show of being the sorry mother just wanting her son back, going on about how she's changed and she didnt mean to do all of those horrible things and so on and so on. All she wants is them to be a family again, like they used to be, is that really so much to ask for? Gladion is already seeing right through this, he knows all of this is bs, but he cant seem to get anyone on his side. After all, the members of Team Skull never really liked him anyway and were only going along with it bc Guzma said so. Now with Guzma against him, he has no real back up. He cant fight back and he cant even escape. Despite his stubborn nature, he still cant overcome the hold his mother has on him after all those years. She very much has him between a rock and a hard place. So not having any other option, he is forced to go back home with her.

Once back home, Gladion's life is turned upside down as Lusamine does everything she can to keep him on a short leash. All freedom that he had is now gone, and he is constantly watched and monitored, its suffocating. Much like before, he's told how to dress, how to act, what to eat and how much, he cant even so much as get near a computer or phone without someone questioning him. He cant even bring out any of his pokemon bc Lusamine has deemed most of them "too dangerous" to have out all under the pretense of doing it for his safety. The only pokemon he's able to have around him is his Umbreon, and even then, she's given a electric collar that keeps her within the property of the house, so no chance of her running off in the middle of the night or anything. While Lusamine insists that shes not keeping him there against his will, she assures him that he's allowed to leave whenever he'd like. Tho she also warns him that if he leaves, then Lillie will be taking his place. She will not be left with an empty nest. Truth be told Lillie probably would have been the easier choice between the two, she also knows that Gladion would do anything to keep her safe. So using her as leverage is how she keeps control over Gladion.

One day Lusamine casually brings up about the "Reconstruct Project" to Gladion (keeping its details very vague), mentioning its something he could help her with, as she thinks he would be interested, He shuts it down saying that he wants no part of whatever she's doing. Lusamine doesnt prese the issue, only expressing disappointment that he wont even consider her offer, but she wont force him. Rather she doesnt want to force him as she wants him to join her willingly. (Even if "willingly" means she'll force his hand) She needs him for this Project. Gladion may be stubborn, but she is so much worse.

After their initial conversation, things only got a lot worse. While he had few freedoms since all of this has started, those are gone now. He becomes cut off from his Pokemon, from the outside, he hardly has a moment of peace where he doesnt feel like he's being questioned or ordered to do something. He really is like a prisoner in his own home (well, a place he once called that). His sanity is being chipped away at, and it comes down to 2 options. -He can either join onto this Reconstruct project, whatever it is. Not knowing what fate could await him or what Lusamine as planned, but at least he'd have a chance at having some sense of a life back and limited freedom.. -Or he can live the rest of his life as Lusamine's puppet, having no freedom or will of his own (<-which is also another story of its own). His life will practically be on auto pilot, forever chained to Aether but never having a say in anything.

It takes some time but eventually Gladion does break, and asks to join the Reconstruct Project, even tho he still has no idea what it is, but anything is better than the life he is living now.

Lusamine is absolutely delighted by this news! And almost instantly, life then turns around for Gladion. He finally is given back some freedom, if not more than what he had before. He is able to move around his home without question. He gets to eat more and better than he did before, putting on some much needed muscle. He's even getting a chance to walk around outside and around the property without having some kind of chaperone. Lusamine even invites him to join her at Aether to over see some projects that they are working on as well as helping with pokemon there. She lets him join her in outings in town, taking him to eat and so on. She's essentially love bombing him, and he hesitantly accepts. All the while this is going on, he still does not know what this Reconstruct Project is bc he cant seem to find any information on it, like it almost doesnt even exist. Whenever he asks about it, Lusamine either skirts around the question or tells him that then only thing he should be concerned about is being in his best physical condition as possible. She assures him that it'll all be worth it, and shes going to give him what he's always wanted: To be stronger. But in order to that, he's going to need some "upgrades. None of this does well to ease any concerns or fears he has, but he's already gotten this far, and he doesnt want to risk going to how things were before so.. whatever it is, he's in it for better or worse. Gladion undergoes a very extensive surgery, with about 80% of his body being "Reconstructed" (hence the name) from the ground up. Its some time later that he wakes up from a induced coma and when he does the reality of what has happened to him is made clear. He is no longer human, or rather, not completely. His body a patch worked mess, a terrible jigsaw amalgamation of human and (shiny) Silvally. Lusamine delivered on her promise to make him stronger, even if she left out the finer details of it.. So that is the Reconstruct story line, or the start of it anyway. From here the story follows along with Gladion changing his name to "Reconstruct" as he has convinced himself that who he once was is no longer him. That part of him died long before it got to this point. His job is that of a glorified errand boy and protector of Aether. He mostly travels through Ultra Space and to different worlds/time to gather up UBs for Lusamine so that she can create her "perfect world". He travels through the worm holes with the aid of an altered Dusk Mane Solgaleo who has been fitted with pieces of Necrozma Armor, that acts a lot like NULL's inhibitor helmet. While its an odd life and something he would have never imagined for himself. He is still very much tied to Aether, at least in this way he has some sense of purpose and freedom. Tho in his time of traveling he has seen much, including other versions of himself (Gladion) living out lives that he knows he could never have, being with people that he cared about, knowing that he cant ever go back to how things were. He's very lonely, bitter, and jaded at the world and others. He's closed off, quick to anger, and untrusting of others. His only real reason to keep going despite everything thats happened is bc of Lillie, as knowing that at least this way he can still protect her. He is content enough to live the rest of his life like this. Even if he has to do it alone. Trying not to think about what might happened when he finishes his mission.. but, well, life certainly has a way of surprising you. And that is the story! I admit that I am going to be very surprised to know if anyone actually read all of this, but if you did please know you have my many thanks and my apologies 😅

[the-delta-42]

Returns 4

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Returns 4

Louis quietly groaned as he entered his and Clementine’s shared dorm, he quietly noted that Clementine was already asleep, with Rosie curled up on the foot of the bed. Shedding his coat, Louis climbed into the bed and wrapped himself around Clementine and let sleep claim him.

Meanwhile, down in the grounds, Lee looked over the ground.

“It surprising how much she’s grown.” Said Kenny, getting Lee’s attention.

“I wanted her to be with you.” Confessed Lee, “We didn’t know Omid and Christa, and, well, I think we all saw Christa’s reaction to Clementine.”

Kenny grunted, before looking over at a Walker head, “What do ya think of that Louis boy?”

“I think he’s nice.” Answered Lee, getting a huff from Kenny.

“I think he looks a little gay.” Said Kenny, crossing his arms, “But, if he makes her happy.”

Lee let out a laugh, before sighing, “And all that shit with Lilly and her faction. What do you think Clem plans on doing with her?”

“Fuck if I know.” Answered Kenny, glancing back towards the gym, “I still need to talk to Duck. I, I’m not sure if he’ll cope.”

“Going by how he was talking that girl’s ear off,” Remarked Lee, sending Kenny a smirk, “I think he’ll adapt.”

Kenny frowned, but nodded, “I was hoping Kat or Sarita would’ve been with him.”

“Doug, Mark and Chuck aren’t back either,” Said Lee, “I don’t now about Molly or that Jane character Clem mentioned.”

“I hope not.” Snorted Kenny, “The bitch told Clem and me that AJ was dead and tried to frame herself as a victim.”

“What about Luke’s reaction?” Asked Lee, “He didn’t seem to take it well.”

“He and Jane decided to knock boots while Alvie was being born.” Scoffed Kenny, “I’m glad Clem only saw them after they’d finished.”

Lee hummed, spotting Carley walking around the perimeter with Violet, before he looked up at the stars.

R

Clementine yawned, before gagging. Hastily clambering over Louis, Clementine grabbed a bin and threw up into it.

“Ooh,” Groaned Clementine, as Louis shifted himself into a sitting position, “this fucking sucks.”

“I heard the end is far worse.” Commented Louis, getting a glare from Clementine.

“Why am I attracted to you?”

“Because I’m irresistible.”

Clementine was prevented from retorting by throwing up again. The door burst open, with Violet holding a broken lamp above her head.

“I heard something fall.”

“It’s just Clem’s condition.” Said Louis, as Clementine retched.

“Oh.” Violet lowered the lamp, “Right. I’m going to bed now.”

Louis frowned as Violet left, “It’s morning.”

“She had the nightshift.” Said Clementine, her voice echoing in the bin.

“Oh, right.” Louis groaned, “Do you want a hand with your leg or are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Clementine waved him off, “Can you watch the new guys, please?”

“Okay.” Louis nodded, before grabbing his coat, “Do you want AJ to give em a tour?”

Clementine gave him a thumbs up as she dry-heaved.

Wincing as he stepped outside, Louis hopped down the steps and walked towards the Gym, he saw the girl a little older than AJ running around, as Willy opened the gate for a small group of survivors. Groaning, Louis redirected himself towards the gate.

“Thank you,” Said a red hair woman, “we were travelling for months and we were attacked. It’s a miracle we found this place.”

“Who’re you?” Asked Louis, silently kicking himself for not picking up Chair-les.

“Oh,” A brunette turned to him, “Are you the leader here?”

“Not quite,” Louis looked over them, he counted seven of them, “but I talk with her regularly.”

The group glanced at each other, before a man in glasses spoke in a thick Russian accent, “We are travellers.”

“Yeah, I gathered.” Dismissed Louis, glaring at them, “Names. Now.”

“Right, I’m Shel,” Said the brunette, “this is my sister, Becca,” she pointed at a woman with black hair around his age, “Vince,” an Asian man, “Wyatt,” A white man with a thick beard, “Russell,” A black man, “Mike,” another black man with part of his left ear missing, “Bonnie,” the woman with red hair, “and Arvo.” The Russian man.

Louis eyed them, “Okay, I’ll speak with some people and put you up in the Gym.”

“We can help.” Said Bonnie, eagerly.

“Yeah, but we need to check all of you for bites.” Dismissed Louis, turning around, “AJ!”

Bonnie and Mike froze as Louis called for AJ.

“Yeah?” Asked a Ten-year-old, appearing from a bush.

“Take them to the Hospital,” Instructed Louis, “I’ve got to check on some things.”

AJ nodded, before looking at the group, “You need to leave your weapons here.”

“Why?” Demanded Becca, glaring at AJ.

“Because we don’t trust you.”

Bonnie carefully put her rifle on the ground, slowly followed by the others. Arvo looked around the community, he glared at some of the people, just as Bonnie gasped.

“Luke!” Mike stared at Bonnie ran over to the man they’d seen drown, “How?”

“I don’t know.” Answered Luke, “I’m sorry, but I’m a little busy right now.”

Bonnie watched as Luke walked away and pick up an axe.

“You done?” The group looked at AJ, who didn’t seem impressed, “Because you all need to be checked.”

R

Clementine looked at the new arrivals, she didn’t care for most of them, but she kept her eyes on Arvo, Bonnie and Mike.

“Aren’t these the guys that left you and AJ to die?” Asked Louis, glaring at them.

“Yeah,” Said Clementine, her eyes fixed on Arvo, “my only issue is that cunt.”

“Why?” Asked Violet, looking away from the new arrivals.

“Because,” Clementine pulled the collar of her shirt to the side, revealing a circular bullet scar, “he fucking shot me.”

Violet glanced as Arvo, putting her hand on her knife when she saw Arvo take a step forwards. AJ was less subtle in his warning, opting to point a gun at Arvo. Arvo gave Clementine a hate filled glare, his face contorting into a sneer.

“Put him in the basement.” Said Clementine, as Louis grabbed the Russian, she turned and looked at Bonnie’s group, “Have you been checked for bites?”

“Duh.” Responded Becca, Clementine looked them over.

“Go to the Gym, we’ll talk with everyone there.” Clementine got up and walked out the door.

“This way.” Said Violet, gesturing for them to follow her.

R

Lilly looked up as someone was shoved into the basement. It was a Russian man, since he was screaming at the doors as they shut. She heard her Dad grumble about the man.

“I KILL YOU!” Screamed the Russian, “I KILL YOU, CLEMENTINE!”

The doors opened and someone threw a violin at him, before the doors closed again. The Russian screamed himself hoarse, before collapsing to the ground. The doors opened, and Lilly saw Clementine limp down the stairs. She didn’t spare the Russian a glance and instead looked at Lilly and Larry.

“So,” Her voice was neutral, “we’re trying to figure out what to do with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Demanded Larry, glaring at Clementine.

“Lilly,” Clementine nodded at the woman, “attacked, abducted and killed members of the community here. Some, myself included, aren’t sure if she can be trusted.”

“So,” Sneered Larry, stomping up to Clementine, “Lee can be trusted, but my daughter can’t?!”

Clementine glared up at Larry, “You’re a walking liability, if I were you, I’d watch my temper.”

Larry sneered, as Clementine looked at Lilly, “When you’re let out of here, you will be watched at all times, you won’t be allowed weapons and any tools you use will be done under the supervision of senior members of the community.”

Lilly huffed, before nodding. Clementine sighed, before gesturing for them to follow her, “Thankfully, one of the people that came back was a doctor, so we might have your medication.”

Neither said anything, as Clementine stepped over the breathless Russian.

“What did he do?” Asked Lilly, looking at the back of Clementine’s head.

“He shot me.”

R

“Deep breath.” Instructed Clarissa, listening to Larry’s heart, “You said you’ve got angina?”

“Yeah.” Grunted Larry, as Carlos checked Lilly over.

“Cough.” Lilly followed Carlos’s instruction, “Hmm.”

“What’s wrong?” Asked Clarissa, looking over at them.

Carlos readjusted his stethoscope and repeated his command, frowning, “It sounds like she has the beginnings of a chest infection.”

“Hold on.” Clarissa glanced at Larry, before going over to Carlos and Lilly and repeated Carlos’s tests, “Do you smoke?”

“No.”

“Have you been around people who’ve smoked?”

“No.”

“Your lungs have a slight wheeze to them,” Said Carlos, after a moment, “It might be nothing, but I’m going to try and run some tests.”

“Thank god for the Commonwealth and their scientists.” Muttered Clarissa, going back to Larry.

Outside, Clementine watched as wall extension was lifted up, she thought she heard Pete yelling at Nick, before she spotted Luke walking towards the Admin building, she knew he wasn’t happy about Jane, given the stink eye he’d been giving Kenny.

“Ooh.” Clementine looked down and frowned as Omid and Christa’s daughter, Kenlee, was looking over the edge of the balcony, “Can I help?”

“You’re three weeks old,” it didn't escape Clementine how weird it sounded, “once you’ve learnt to look after yourself, I’ll bring it up with your mother.”

“Can I help dig the hole?”

“No.”

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

after the comics end do you think the telltale walking dead franchise will continue in any way whether it be a tv show, a remake of the first game, or a port to new consoles

I want to say "No, they'll respectfully put it to rest after the comics end."

....but I know how this goes, we can never just let anything end when it should, not when there's money involved. Either something gets cancelled before it's time, or it overstays its welcome and gets milked into the ground.

I've gotten an ask about this and I've seen people talking about it, but with how popular that Last of Us show is [I wouldn't personally know as I'm still not planning on watching it] there's talk from fans of wanting a TV show adaption. Which, as I said before, I would be totally okay with them doing that for S1, and S1 only. It would make the most sense given the whole Lee and Clementine dynamic, Kenny's a fan favorite, and the storytelling is just fantastic. With a good cast, budget, and a whole lot of effort, I think it would be great. Whether or not that'll actually be a thing? I dunno.

And I know people would worry about "canon choices" being made in a TV, like if Lee decided to help Lilly save Larry in the show, everyone who picked to help Kenny would probably get pissy because fans hate feeling like their choices were invalidated, and fans who do feel their choices were validated over others usually can't help but be pricks about it, y'know?

But I've always said this-- The games are their own thing, your choices are yours, no one else gets to dictate what your canon is, and there is no set canon because that's not how that works, your canon is your own. It doesn't matter what the creators have said outside of the game, what matters is what's happening when you play.

As for comics, I do foresee more of those... because why would Skybound learn anything from the Clementine trilogy? It wouldn't be as bad if they could just pick another character to write these comics about, but Clementine is the face of the original games and she's likely to bring in a bigger audience.

I would like it if they branched out and did something with other characters. Again, Kenny's a fan favorite. Why not do a story about him between S1 and S2? How did he get away from the horde? How is he coping after having mercy killed Ben [or alternatively, after helping Christa escape] and how did he get out of Savannah? Could really get into his head and take a look at not only the horror of the walking dead, but the horror of losing a child, a spouse, everything and what it did to Kenny's mental and physical health.

Something like that could also appeal to an audience outside of TWDG fans, too. Like... that's something you have to consider, y'know? Because I could sit here and be like, "They should make a comic about the 400 Days cast! That would be cool!" but... who the hell is gonna really care about them? Even fans within the TWDG probably wouldn't give a shit because they're just not popular, therefore they would bring in less profit.

Let's see... a remake of the first game? Is that a thing people are talking about? I doubt that's something in the works, but you never know. Plenty of games have gotten remakes and done very well for themselves. The Resident Evil 4 remake just came out, and they have a history of doing remakes for their older games. One that really sticks out to me is the Spyro Reignited Trilogy. I was a big Spyro kid and the remake is really damn good. But yeah, I'm sure a remake of the first game could do well but personally, I doubt anything like that is being considered at this point.

And as for a new game? I dunno, whenever I browse youtube, sometimes I see very clickbaity titles like "TWDG SEASON 5 CONFIRMED???" or "TWDG S5 LEAKS AND NEWS???" or "CLEMENTINE WILL BE BACK????" and I just... never click on them because if there was actually a TWDG S5 being made, then why is no one else talking about it? No one in the main #twdg tag is talking about it, no one on reddit is, sooo...? Full of shit, me thinks.

Besides, I don't want a S5, especially with Clementine. She's done, let her rest, her story finished in The Final Season. If you have to do something, then put your big boy pants on and make an effort to tell a new story that doesn't rely on fans' nostalgia for Clementine.

Part of me is curious for what happens next, whether that's more comics or some other piece of media... the other part is just slouched in her chair making a >:[ face and grumbling incoherently.

[circus-clown-calvary]

I think I will also write an Allison fic along side my Aaron fic. It’s gonna be a diner Au bc I don’t want to deal with collage as a collage student or exy bc I’m tired. So dinner Au. I think I want to explore Seth and hers relationship and then also go into Allison/Kevin (bc I read one (1) fic about them and now I’m obsessed) and I want it to go through the motions of her relationship with Seth- how she kept going back to him because she belived he could recover; his death and how it ruined her- how she grieved by herself in her room even after months had passed; her walk into a new chapter and perusing a new relationship and the struggles of coping.

Just. Allison man. I have a little draft under the cut (maybe - I’m on mobile formatting may be weird)

Allison thinks back to when she kicked Seth out of her apartment and telling him not to come back until he’s at least six months sober. It took him closer to nine — nine months she spends crying alone in her room late at night because she worries and she misses him and she wishes he’d get better faster— but then hes here on her door step; he looks cleaned up and less sunken and his hands fidget nervously at his side but hes here.

They don’t go back to normal at first- it’s about two months of trying, really trying, to regain their old spark. It’s movie dates and dinner in her car and sitting on the couch while he plays his guitar and sing to her so prettily. And things are good; they’re great even. He calls her Allie and looks at her with his puppy eyes and holds her close again. She him rest his head on her shoulder while she scratches his scalp with her pretty purple nails.

And then he’s gone again. He’s gone and dead in a bathroom at bar 4 blocks from her house. It’s not Seth anymore; it’s just the body of someone who use to be Seth. And she’s angry.

Angry because he was getting better. He was clean and happy and singing again- he hadn’t sang since things got bad- Angry because he bought her flowers just yesterday: peace lillies, her favorites. Angry because they is no way Seth Gordon killed himself when he was happy. Things were better, they were going steady, they were talking and he he was living with her for 3 months and things were good.

Allison Reynolds dose not beg. Reynolds do not plead. But the world was on its side and hell was had frozen over as the “please please please” fell from her mouth in a wet sob; her knuckle red and white were they gripped the officers uniform as she begged for them to investigate.

“I’ll pay you! I pay for every penny it costs! I’ll play you twice your salary just please! He didn’t kill himself! He couldn’t have!”

Bryan Seth Gordon did not kill himself. Not when he was just on the phone with her a few hours prior. Not 7 months after being sober. Not when he was talking about proposing to her and starting a life together and settling down.

“Seth did not kill himself,” she said but nothing would ever come of it.

Allison did the only thing she could do at the point. She was back to crying in her room because what else can she do? Starving herself again because she can’t stomach anything anyways. Drinking to much alcohol to even pretend is safe. And she loses herself in those months.

The others drop by to check on her. Not for any remorse over Seth (they didn’t know him like she did). Allison gets really good at pretending she’s not dying. Hides all the bottles beneath her bed and dose her make up even when getting out of bed feels like the worst kind of torture.

They call her, text her, stay the night when it’s too hard to be alone. They don’t pressure her to join them at work but her pay check keeps coming in. Wymack is kind in that way.

Kevin calls her after a handful of months to see if she’ll be coming to work anytime soon. He’s an asshole like that.

———————-

She goes on a bender that night. Drinks a little to much to be coherent and ends up in some unsavory back ally dive bar. She’s sick, hasn’t eaten anything all day, and there’s too many hungry eyes on her. She pulls out her phone- dials the first number and is almost shocked when Kevin answers. She’d forgotten all about their chat earlier.

“Hello?” He’s out of breath, she can hear his labored breathing, even still his voice is carefully neutral.

“Hi baby,” her words slurring together.

“That’s not funny Allison. What’s do you want?”

“Don’t worry baby I’m on my way home,” she could hear his confusion on the other end “I was wondering if you wanted pizza? I’m crossing main and they place is still open” she didn’t even know if she was able to say it right.

“What- Allison are you ok?” She laughed without wanting too. God her arms were heavy and she wanted to lay down but she still felt eyes on her back and heard heavy footsteps behind her. Her skin was crawling and maybe were she sober she’d be ok.

“Cheese or pepperoni baby?” Her voice slurred with gargled laughter. The kind Seth would do when he called her cross faded on things to strong to be legal.

“Allison- You’re near main right? Are you safe?” She giggled then hearing foot steps get heavier- louder. Over the phone there was talking. It was faded but she knew Neil’s voice. It must have been night practice. Was it Thursday? How silly. How silly to have forgotten. It was silly how Kevin’s voice was oozing in worry. She didn’t think he could feel anything other than anger and alcohol. Could you feel alcohol? Was that an emotion? She thinks she felt alcohol.

“No baby I’m not going to ask for soda we have drinks at home” it was almost a whine and it made her sick to hear her voice like that. That’s ugly sickly sweetness dripping from her voice. She heard key jingling

“I’m with Neil and Andrew, we’re coming to get you. Stay on the line, get inside the pizza place.” He was so demanding. Bossy bossy, she wanted to say. Maybe she would have if she were sober, when her her voice worked the way it should have. If she were sober she wouldn’t be having this conversation though.

She heard yelling on the other line- ‘Hurry!’ ‘We don’t have time!’ ‘Just drive!’ He was so bossy. It made her giggle listening to the comforting sound of keys and an engine starting.

She made it to the cross walk she didn’t think she could make it across. Leaning again the pole, her head laying against the cool metal she didn’t remember being there

[tommyspeakycap]

Can I request some chilly fluff? Anything really, just some cute sweet chilly fluff with a little bit of angst maybe?

of course! here's an idea that's been swimming around my brain all day lol

helping hand

ben isn't coping with his newest responsibility and his best friend comes to save the day once again

It's honestly less about the news than it is about the fact that you didn’t here it from him. Texts have gone mostly unanswered since you read that online article you first believed was false, only for it to be confirmed by him. You offered a congratulations despite the pain it brought to you to hear that you had completely lost your chance.

You had probably called him about a million times, each time ringing out and some even being hung up after merely a few rings.

At first, you worried that something had happened. Then you managed to wrangle the news out of Mason that everything was well, you let yourself have those days of utter heartbreak that he had found a girl, started to settle down and then completely cut you out of the picture. This was the first time in all of your 23 years that you hadn't been able to speak to him about things that were going on. He seemed to have completely fogotten about you and you couldn't bring yourself to think of a reason why.

She never really did like you, his girlfriend. You could only imagine it had something to do with the fact that Ben was incredibly close with you. A lot of girls had been unhappy with the fact that while dating Ben, they were subject to teasing that everyone was surprised he was dating when they had thought he was so clearly in love with you. You understand that, it would be irritating but nothing had ever happened between you and Ben that might suggest you would ever get together. People just love a rumour.

What had really hit you, however was seeing her from the Instagram you followed. She didn't even appear to be in London, never mind with him and that made no sense by the timeline you had managed to figure out.

That's how you found yourself standing at his door with what felt like a million bags and a feeling of hurt you had never actually had before. You cornered Mason, refusing to leave until he told you what the hell was going on and when he did, you were gone like a flash with a broken heart to seek out the man who needed you now more than he ever did.

Your heart shatters even more when you step into his house, pushing it open and pulling out the key he gave you a few months ago as you head carefully to the kitchen. You can hear him trying to talk, his voice strained and croaky as he attempts to speak over the sound of the screaming baby girl.

"Come on sweetheart," he begs, "Please take your bottle, I promise you're just tired."

His house is messier than you've ever seen it with gifts unopened, blankets and bottles, baby toys and clothes strewn around everywhere you could see.

You're quick and quiet to get to work clearing the place up, clean clothes being folded and sat in his clean laundry hamper while sorting the dirty things and shoving them into the washing machine by colour before tidying away all the blankets into the baby boxes he had set up in his front room. The infant upstairs screams the entire time you whiz around, throwing an entire bin bag worth of rubbish out of his kitchen before restocking all the shelves and his empty fridge with food for him and milk powder for the little girl. The pizza you shoved in the oven the second you arrived was finished after 15 minutes, so you plated that and left it on the kitchen island before you decided to make you presence known to him.

"Need a helping hand?"

His head whips around rapidly, instinctively tucking his daughter closer into his chest before he recognised your voice and turned his face back away from you. "You shouldn't be here, (y/n)." He mumbles, bouncing his legs to try and get that screeching to stop before he starts crying again himself.

How had everything ended up so messy? He found a girl that he thought he loved, he had his best friends and he had you. She got pregnant and he was ecstatic until she told him she wasn't interested in having a baby. It was too late to do anything about it, so she gave birth to that baby and legally signed over parental rights wholly and fully to a destroyed Ben. You, of course, had to find this out half from the tabloids and half from Mason. Ben was absolutely affronted. He was mortified. How had he gotten himself in this position?

You were the first and only person he wanted to tell. He was desperate to seek out your arms and have an absolute sob to you so you could help him fix this like you do with everything else, but he couldn't bring himself to face you. He cut you off slowly and carefully without even noticing himself because she had coaxed him into it. She played him like a fiddle, let him grow her platform and fund her lifestyle until she had everything she wanted from him and left him with something that was supposed to be theirs to love forever.

As if things couldn't get worse, from the moment he found out she was having a baby he had realised he didn't want kids or a life with anyone but you and now here he is, with a baby that has no mother and he had lost you. How could he just go back crying to you now after all the hurt he had caused you? What kind of person does that? He made this mess and it was his to clean up.

"Mason told me what happened. You can fight me all you want, Ben but I'm not going to go anywhere so you may as well just let me help." You say firmly, not inviting a single space for him to actually contest your words. His shoulder deflate even further than they already are as he finally turns to meet your eyes.

There's bags and dark circles beneath his with greasy, messy hair and a shirt he probably hadn't changed in longer than he should.

"I'm sorry." He croaks, clamping down on his lip with his teeth so he doesn't immediately burst out crying at the sight of you standing there in his house. God, he's missed you so much he couldn't even begin to put it into words and his emotions are so messed up from the lack of sleep that he'll cry at just about anything right now. "It's forgotten about. We don't have to talk about it, I'm here to help."

The weight that lifts off of Ben's shoulder is the kind of immense relief that only really you can bring to him, honestly. There are few people that he has ever met that can ease him like you can and knowing he doesn't have to explain this whole situation really is something he's so thankful for.

"This is Lilly," he says weakly, nodding his head down at her whining. You smile immediately and without thought, stepping forward to get a closer look at the small baby, only two weeks old and already giving her dad a run for his money. "Hello Lilly," you coo softly, raising your hand to stroke her cheek with your finger in the most gentle manner he's ever seen. "Can I? I feel like I've missed out on two weeks worth of aunt (y/n) cuddles."

He tries not to think much into the fact you refer to yourself as her aunt because if he lets enough thought onto it, he'll find himself breaking his heart over you all over again. Ben nods, passing her into your arms carefully.

"I'll feed her, I made some pizza for you so you should go eat." You hold our your hand to take the bottle from him, but he frowns. "I-" Ben stutters, "I don't want to just lump you with her, plus she's upset so I shouldn't leave her y'know? It's not fair on-"

"Go and eat Ben, and have a shower while you're at it. We'll be fine in here, I've babysat a million times before." You shrug, taking the bottle from him as you step further into the nursery instead of standing in the doorway cradling the still whimpering little girl in her pink onesie. "But I-"

"Go."

"I should-"

"Ben go, now."

Ben sighs in defeat and turns on his heel, the rumbling of his stomach finally giving him away as he realises just how hungry and smelly he actually is. No wonder the infant was crying in his hold.

He trudges downstairs, hearing the sounds of those winging dying down as he does, half expecting to walk into the messy swamp he had left when he went upstairs earlier this morning, only to see the whole bottom floor of the house was basically as spotless as it had been the day he moved in, bar the baby variety adjustments he had made to welcome the new arrival.

He makes a mental note to thank you more and do some grovelling and apologising later on. He knows he has to do it and he knows he'll explain in more detail what really happened probably later today, but for now he will scoff that pizza down his throat faster than he has ever consumed a meal in all of his life before raining the cupboards that he discovered you had stocked. He is reminded with every step he takes around his house that this is you, again, here holding him up when the world around him feels like its completely crumbled.

This is what you do, you keep him together, fix him up after the heartbreaks and breakups preparing him for the next girl who's pieces you'll have to pick up when they hurt him. This time he doesn't want another girl, he wants you. This time, the one time that he would be miles too late. He's got a baby now that he needs to focus on and he can't imagine that you're going to want an instant family even if you could really see past the fact he had ghosted you for nearly five straight months from the moment he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. He can't forgive himself, so how on earth would you?

If he would ask, you would tell him you already had. Seeing how hurt he was, how genuinely sorry things had ended dup like this with everyone in his life he was was enough for you. It was enough to cause you actual physical pain. You never could hold a grudge considering the situation he had ended up in.

Ben had never ever once in his life being more thankful for his shower. He’s also pretty sure he fell asleep against the wall with the heat of the shower steam loosening his muscles and the fatigue of barely an hours sleep catching up to him. He towel dries off his hair, letting the towel hang around his neck as he rubs it against his head while he pads along the soft carpet of his hallway from the bedroom to his beautifully done pink nursery where he hears no crying, at all.

But he does here soft talking.

“Giving your daddy a hard time eh, pretty girl.” You hum softly, slowly swaying from side to side. She lays in your arms, looking up at you and stealing every bit of your heart with her daddies eyes. “He deserves it a little, you know. Just ‘cause he done me out of some adorable baby cuddles y’know?” Ben can hear the teasing smile on your lips as he leans against the doorframe out of your sight, keeping quiet so as not to be detected. “But he’s a good man, sweet girl. One of the best, actually. And i know he’s already such a good daddy to you, he loves you so so much. Do you know that, eh?” You say quietly. Ben catches the sight of you swaying that amazed little baby who coos up at you, reaching for your finger to hold. “Mhm, and i love you too. You have no idea how loved you are.” That’s one thing Ben can agree on.

“And you might not know it now because you’re little, but i do know one thing for absolute certain; I’m always gonna be here for you, and for your daddy even if he’s as stubborn about it as they come. You’ve got to help me out though, eh sweet girl? Be good to that daddy of yours. Yeah, sleepy baby? Mhm, my sweet girl.” The way you hum, bouncing her carefully and swaying in just the right way for her to fall asleep in your arms. Ben watches you for only a minute more, softly singing a little lullaby to her that makes Ben’s heart swell to ache so much that he has to take a small little video before he heads off downstairs with one last look.

When you finally greet him downstairs with a tight hug that he sinks into immediately, resting his cheek on your shoulder as your hands massage your fingers through his freshly cleaned hairs as his arms hug around your waist. “I’ve missed you.” He admits, words muffled by your sweatshirt. The feeling of your fingers at the nape of his neck makes him hum in content and sink into you peacefully just like his baby daughter did not half an hour ago. You’re just perfect for them both in every way and there is not one bone in his body that doesn’t wish he had started his family with you.

But with that realisation comes one more; that he will not settle until he has given everything he has, tried with every morsel of him to earn your forgiveness. He might not of started his family with you, but he is damn determined to make you part of it.

[irishseeeker]

this is for day 2 of @katexanthonyweek ! prompt: lovey dovey

                                          p.s I love you

Kate and Anthony spend their first week apart. They cope as well as expected.

“I must go.”

“Five more minutes,” Kate murmured, burrowing closer to her husband’s chest. “Then you can go.”

“We said that ten minutes ago.”

“I am failing to see your point.”

She felt Anthony’s laughter vibrating through his chest. They had been lying in bed all morning, Anthony’s departure creeping closer and closer. They had made love twice before Anthony left her to bathe and get dressed for his departure to Aubrey Hall.

Kate rested her chin on his collarbone, sighing softly as she looked at him. She wanted to remember every inch of his face. She knew she was being terribly dramatic, it was not as if he was leaving for weeks-it was merely a week he would be gone.

Anthony’s nose bumped hers, pressing his lips softly against hers. Her wretched splint had finally been removed, so their legs were tangled freely together on the bed.

Kate brushed some of his dark hair out of his eyes. “I have packed all of Newton’s things for you.”

“Must I bring the dog?” Anthony sighed, brushing his lips against hers. She could spend her entire life kissing him and it would never be enough.

Kate nodded, it was not up for debate. “You promised. I cannot bare the thought of you being alone down there.”

She felt him soften, pressing another kiss to her cheeks before ending with one on her lips. “You are lovely.”

“When are you going to admit that you love Newton? Do you think I do not notice the treats you bring home for him when you think I am not looking?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, wife.”

“You, Anthony Bridgerton, are far more soft than you would ever admit.”

“Kate. I am a dangerous, intimidating man. I told you to stop calling me that-“

She interrupted him with a kiss. It was quite effective whenever she wanted Anthony to stop talking. “I will miss you.”

It worked, his lips moved against hers but they broke apart. “Not as much as I will miss you.” I hate leaving you. Are you sure you will be alright?”

Kate carefully considered her response. Anthony had not been to Aubrey Hall to attend to his duties physically since before her accident. He dealt with any issues through penmanship and had sent his brothers on his behalf for any pressing matters. He had refused to leave her side for weeks. However, Kate was nearly fully healed and it was time for Anthony to visit his tenants and attend to his duties. Kate’s leg was too weak to join him moving from house to house each day, so she was staying behind.

The last thing Kate wanted was for Anthony to worry about her while he was away. He had only begun to relax about her leg and it had been two weeks since her splint had been removed. “I will be absolutely fine. My leg is nearly healed. Mary and Edwina are coming to stay and your family will call everyday.”

Anthony nodded at her response, although the creases on his forehead showed his distress at their current situation. “I have instructed the entire staff, including your lady’s maid, to keep an eye on you. If anything happens during the night or you need anything, they will be waiting.”

“I nearly forgot I had a lady’s maid,” Kate teased, dragging her fingertips delicately down his cheek. “You were such a good one.”

Anthony had been an angel since her accident. Of course, they had argued plenty and she had cursed him to oblivion when his overprotective and controlling nature got too much. The ridiculous man had believed her incapable of feeding herself at times, claiming it was too strenuous of an act. He had taken care of her in every way he could, much to her disdain at times. He would bathe her, dress her, feed her and take her to relieve herself during the day and night, much to her mortification and severe objection.

He kept her company throughout most of the day, working while she lay in their bed reading, sleeping or complaining. She had felt awfully sorry for herself at times and Anthony had always made her feel better.

Despite her occasional annoyance, Kate absolutely adored him for everything he did and she still struggled to comprehend what she had done to deserve such an incredible husband.

She was going to miss him so much she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

Her leg had healed, she just needed to learn to walk on it again. Her muscle was quite weak and could not handle too much pressure, but there was no longer any pain when her leg moved or was touched. She was slowly improving.

Anthony’s expression turned serious. “I want no funny business, Kate. If I hear a word of you putting unnecessary pressure on your leg or attempting to walk recklessly-I will come straight back here and tie you to that bed myself.”

In the six months they had been married, Kate had come to learn a few things about marriage.

This was a deciding moment, where she could either start an argument with her husband about treating her like a child or choose to understand this was how her emotionally stunted husband struggled to express his emotions and feelings.

Kate wanted to make him feel better, to let him know she understood him and to reassure him nothing was going to happen while they were separated.

“Is that a promise?” Kate’s smile was devious, she couldn’t resist flirting with him. She had become much more daring with her newfound experience as a married woman.

“You will be the death of me, woman,” He said, groaning softly as his hands moved down her nightdress to squeeze her derriere. They both knew they did not have time to finish what they were about to start.

“I promise I will be on my best behaviour,” She said, pressing a reassuring kiss to his lips. “I will have someone with me at all times. I will not get into any carriages but your mothers. I will not be up to much, I will need to save my energy for the ball this coming Sunday. Where I will be waiting for you.”

It would be her second public engagement since her injury. She had not seen anyone but her family and Penelope since the accident. Anthony had escorted her to a ball the previous week. She did not do much but sit in the short time they were there, but it was better than lounging about in her home as she had been for weeks.

She felt Anthony reach for her hand, which he brought up to his lips to kiss. She felt him slip something cool inside of her palm, which she quickly opened.

“I want you to keep this until I return.”

It was his pocket watch.

“Anthony, I cannot. You bring this everywhere-“

“Here she is, again, arguing with her husband.”

“It is a favourite pastime of mine.”

“I will keep it safe, counting down until your return.”

“I packed my blanket with your things. For when you to go to sleep.” Aubrey Hall was a home to Anthony, but it was also full of painful memories of his father. She hated the idea of him being completely alone, but her leg was too weak for her to join him. He would be too busy with his duties to see her until nighttime.

“The blue one?”

It had been a gift from her father a few years before he had died. She had never slept without it, and often wrapped it around herself when they were alone. “Yes.”

“I like that one. It smells like you,” He said, his thumb brushing the top of her cheekbone. “Lillies and soap.”

Anthony carefully sat up, pulling Kate along with him. “I must go.”

As she watched her husband stand up and straighten out his clothes, Kate fought off the embarrassing urge to cry.

They had spent a single night apart since their marriage, which was the night of his emotional breakdown that led to him running away to Bridgerton House. They had never been apart since.

Anthony knelt between her legs where she was sitting on the edge of the bed. He held her face in his hands, resting his forehead against hers.

“It is only a week.”

She nodded reassuringly, more for herself than Anthony. “It will fly by.”

“Please don’t cry, darling,” He said soothingly, wiping the tears that were freely flowing down her cheek.

“I am not,” She said stubbornly, the sob breaking free from her throat removing any plausibility from her statement. “T-there is something in my eye.”

Anthony snorted as he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her to his chest. He kissed her hair as she let out a few more sobs, ungracefully wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “I am being ridiculous.”

“Never,” He teased and they simuntenaouestly burst out laughing. ”I love you so much, Kate.”

“I love you so much,” She replied, pulling him towards her for a passionate kiss. She slips her tongue between his lips, glued to hers and never wants the moment to end. It does, a few moments later. “Please be safe.”

He pecked her lips softly. “Of course. I will write to you this evening.”

She watched him walk towards the door, putting on a brave face to smile at him. “I will see you on Sunday.”

She nodded, biting on her bottom lip hard. She was trying not to blink, to force the tears to stay at bay behind her eyelids. “Sunday,” She said, nodding at him. “Goodbye, Bridgerton.”

He laughed, staring at her with an intense expression that made her feel self conscious and alive at the same time. “Goodbye, Bridgerton. I love you.”

Kate waited until she heard the rumbling of his carriage leaving the front of Bridgerton House before she burst into tears. Anthony had left before sunrise, so she allowed herself to go back to sleep after her tears had subsidized before rising for the day.

That evening, Kate sat in the drawing room with Edwina. Mary had retired to bed and the sisters were relaxing, it was still too early for them. Usually around this time, Kate would be sitting on Anthony’s lap in his chair. They would tell each other about their days and just converse for hours.

They never ran out of words to speak to each other.

Kate knew she was being dramatic, but she missed her husband. It had not been a day and she was feeling quite sorry for herself. She was already writing to him, wanting to send it on the overnight postal carriage to Kent. It would be with him by morning.

“What are you doing?” said Edwina, putting down the novel in her hands to glance at her sister’s scrawling on

“I am writing to Anthony.”

“Kate.” Edwina laughed softly. “It has been a day.”

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” Kate huffed, letting her head fall back onto the cushion. “If I send it soon, it should get to him by morning.”

“I hate not knowing what he is doing,” She said, letting out a frustrated sigh. “Is he eating? When he is really busy, he sometimes forgets to eat. Maybe I should write to Aubrey Hall and make sure the servants bring him regular meals when he arrives home-”

“Kate,” Edwina said, interrupting her sister’s tangent. “Anthony is a grown man. He will be fine.”

“I suppose so,” Kate said grumpily, still debating whether she would write to the butler.

“It is rather lovely to see you like this, you know.”

“How so?”

“Completely in love,” Edwina replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kate felt herself blush. “It suits you.”

“I can only hope I will have it someday.” Edwina bit her lip, fidgeting with the skirt of her dress.

Kate reached towards her sister, squeezing her hand. “I believe you have, sister. Mr. Bagwell is a lovely man. Once the appropriate time has passed for your courtship, you will be married. If that is what you desire.”

Kate dipped her pen in her ink pot and began to write.

Dear Anthony,

How are you? How was your day? I miss you terribly. How is Newton? I hope he is not terrorizing the cattle, he does love to play with them. I am imagining him running through the fields surrounding Aubrey Hall and the cross look on your face as you chase after him. I wish I was there with you both.

My day was very exciting. I ventured all the way to the drawing room and the kitchen. Colin called on me earlier and ate the chocolate cake meant for dinner, Cook was quite cross.

I am now playing games with Edwina after dinner. Please remember to eat and to get some rest. Brandy and biscuits are not a sufficient meal, Anthony Bridgerton.

I do not want to hear a word about my penmanship in your reply.

Please say hello and give Newton a kiss from me.

I love you.

Your Kate

The following evening, their butler walked into the dining room during dinner. “My lady, a letter has arrived for you.”

“Thank you.” Kate hastily grabbed the letter, squealing with excitement as she tore the letter open. Mary and Edwina watched her with amused expressions.

“Oh be quiet,” Kate said, scrunching her nose at her mother and sister before focusing on the letter.

Dear Kate,

Apologies for the delay in my response, it took me quite some time to make out what you had written.

Kate could practically see her husband’s grin as he wrote this letter. What an ass. Oh, she loved him. She continued to read on.

I began visiting tenants yesterday. There is a roof to be repaired and crops that extra help is needed to harvest. I met two newborn babies, I had forgotten how small they usually were.

I have eaten eggs for breakfast, beef for lunch and chicken for dinner. Are you satisfied?

Dessert was strawberries and cream, which I would have much preferred to have eaten off you. Remember?

Kate bit her lip, feeling her cheeks warm. This was not a letter she should be reading at a dinner table with her mother and sister. Of course she remembered what her husband was referring to. It had happened during their short honeymoon in Aubrey Hall. It involved a picnic blanket, strawberries, little clothes and a lot of cream.

She took a deep breath before continuing to read.

Please do not worry about me. I am fine. More importantly, how are you? How is your leg? I hope you are resting it. Please do not overexert yourself or I will make good on my promise to tie you to our bed.

How was Colin? Did he mention anything regarding his future travels? I worry about him. He seems to be keen to travel for the next few years without much purpose.

Newton is loving the attention most of the tenants are giving him, particularly the children. He had taken Hyacinth’s old doll hostage and has now beheaded her.

He noticed your absence after a while and began to whine but I managed to bribe him to keep quiet with some leftover butcher meat.

I love and miss you,

Your Anthony

Kate had sent her reply late the following afternoon, sending it out with one of the servants.

Dear Anthony,

I received your letter at the dining table, with my mother and sister present. Do you enjoy teasing me so?

Colin spoke of visiting Spain next. I know you worry, as an older brother should, but I believe he is still finding his purpose. He is still young and he has an adventurous spirit.

Benedict taught me how to paint with watercolours today. I had a splendid time, although it did make quite the mess. He is very talented. We should ask him to do one of our portraits. I have always wanted a portrait of Newton for our bedchamber.

Are you well? How are the tenants? I very much look forward to meeting the new arrivals when I come down. Please do send them my well wishes. I am looking forward to seeing them again once we move to Aubrey Hall after the season.

I hate sleeping without you. I love you, darling.

Your Kate

Anthony’s reply arrived the following afternoon, when Kate was having tea with the Bridgerton women. Kate had to excuse herself briefly to read the letter, she was too impatient to wait.

Dear Kate,

A portrait of Newton is not going in our bedchamber. It is not going anywhere in Bridgerton House. As pleased as I am to hear of my brother’s talents and your enjoyment, there will be no portraits of ill behaved dogs.

Your, not our, delightful dog decided to take a swim in the lake this afternoon. However, your dog had failed to take into account the depth and temperature of said lake and got frightened. He swam to a rock and refused to move until I had to swim to him, grab him and bring him inside.

I am still debating his murder.

This is the second time Newton has led me into a lake.

Newton is now attempting to follow me to bed. This is why we do not allow animals to sleep in our beds, Kate. They get needy.

I miss you desperately. I love you.

Your husband,

Anthony

Dear Anthony,

You would do well to remember Newton was sleeping in my bed before you were, Lord Bridgerton.

I do not believe for one second that you did not let Newton into your bed. I cannot lie to you, I am laughing as I read your letter. Newton is very naughty. He does get excited and he cannot help it. The world is a cruel place to not let me witness such an event.

I suppose I will always have the Serpentine.

When are you going to admit that you love him? It is rather sweet he wanted you to get him out of the lake. You are his papa.

Regarding the portrait of Newton, perhaps your office would be a suitable place for it?

Love,

Kate

It was very enjoyable to tease her husband and she even managed to do it through a letter. A letter arrived each day throughout the week, and she sent her reply shortly afterwards.

Dear Kate,

I am not going to have this argument again. Newton is not our child. He is an animal.

I will concede that he is good company. When he is not dragging me into freezing lakes or terrorizing the tenants chickens.

How is your leg? Have you been resting it?

The nights are so dull without you, I miss you. I would pay ten pounds to listen to you play the flute right now if I could. Instead, I am listening to Newton's snores.

Anthony

Dear Husband,

Newton is most definitely our child. If he is not our child, why did you have the tailor prepare him coats for the winter to keep him warm? His coats were made out of very similar fabrics to yours, I might add.

A coincidence? I think not.

My leg is doing well. I have not moved much. Eloise and Francesca joined Edwina and I for tea today, which was quite pleasant. Francesca played the piano, it was so lovely. However, when I offered to play the flute, they suddenly had to return home. Edwina then declared she needed a nap.

Mr. Bagwell joined Edwina and I for lunch this afternoon. I do think he will propose soon. They are so sweet together.

You would be so lucky to listen to my flute playing, Lord Bridgerton.

I love you. I am counting down the minutes until your return.

Yours always,

Kate

Dear Wife,

That is beside the point. I ordered those coats because it was the practical thing to do. I was not going to spend my time picking out additional fabric for Newton’s coats. A Viscount has much more important things to attend to.

Besides, I only wear the best fabric. There could not have been a better choice.

Newton is very fond of his coats, so I win. He wore one during our walk this morning.

I will listen to you play the flute anyday, darling. I might require a glass of brandy beforehand.

That is good news about Edwina and Mr. Bagwell. Perhaps for their wedding gift, I could pay for some carriage handling lessons?

The tenants appreciated the baskets you had put together for them, I had a few of the servants' assistance distributing them today. They asked me to pass on their thanks and appreciation to the wonderful Viscountess.

I cannot wait to see you, I love you.

Your husband,

Anthony

Anthony Bridgerton was on a mission to see his wife.

It was the longest they had been apart since they married, and Anthony had hated every second of it. He had arrived in London and headed straight for Hastings House, where the ball of the evening was taking place.

The Duke and Duchess of Hastings, his sister and brother in law, were celebrating Simon’s birthday.

The ball was well underway when Anthony walked into the ballroom. He was nearly two hours late, much to his delight. He planned on taking Kate home straight anyway, he just had to find her first. He scanned the ballroom but to his dismay, she was not in sight.

“Anthony!”

Anthony sighed as disappointment flooded his veins when he turned around to see Daphne, and not Kate.

“Have you seen Kate?” He stepped forward to kiss her cheek. “Hi Daph.”

“Please do not look so ecstatic to see me,” Daphne teased, smirking as she looked around the room. “It is only my husband’s birthday ball. The last I saw of her, she was sitting with Penelope. How was Aubrey Hall?”

Penelope would not be hard to spot, the poor girl was usually forced into an unfortunate frock that blinded the eye.

“It was busy but an enjoyable week.” That was a lie, Anthony had been miserable without his wife. He had spent the first month of their marriage trying to avoid falling in love with her and keeping his distance from her. “If you will excuse me, I have to find Kate.”

“Brother! How was Aubrey Hall?”

Anthony practically hissed before turning around to look at his younger brother, Colin. He wasted no time with pleasantries. “Have you seen Kate?”

“Hello, Colin,” Colin said, enjoying his brother’s irritated expression. “How are you, brother? I have not seen you in a week. No, no. I insist. Are you enjoying the ball? I am, our dear sister chose quite fine food- ”

“Did we not spend eighteen years of our lives together? Was that not enough?” Anthony replied, rolling his eyes at his brothers. “I would speak more kindly to the person who handles your allowance, brother.”

“As if you would refuse any of it to me, brother,” Colin retorted, grinning at his brother and Anthony huffed, he knew his stupid little brother was right. “You should try the pastries, they are divine.”

Anthony shook his head. “I am not hungry, Colin. I want my wife. Have you seen Kate or not?”

He knew he would get grief from his brothers later, for acting like a lovesick fool. However, he could not find it in him to care. He was one. He was completely infatuated with his wife, who he had not seen in a week and that was a downright crime.

“Lord Bridgerton. Kate is in the drawing room, resting her leg.”

A small voice piped up from behind them, and Anthony turned around to see Penelope Fetherington, smiling pleasantly at the two Bridgerton brothers.

Panic initially filled his chest as Penelope spoke. Had Kate hurt her leg? It was unusual for his wife to rest without some sort of bribery. His family would not be so calm if she had injured her leg, he rationaled, so he took a deep breath.

“Miss Fetherington, I did not see you there. Forgive me, how are you?” Anthony pressed a kiss to Penelope’s glove before nodding his head. It was rude but he did not plan to stick around for his reply. There was one thing on his mind: Kate. “Thank you, Penelope. If you’ll excuse me.”

He did not waste the opportunity to subtle whack the back of Colin’s head as he left the pair.

Anthony practically sprinted through the ballroom, the drawing room was onto two doors down from the large ballroom. He opened the door and there she was, breathtakingly beautiful, sitting on one of the chairs.

Kate’s head turned swiftly at the interruption, her eyes widening at the intrusion before a large smile settled on her face when she saw who it was.

“Did you miss me, Lord Bridgerton?”

His wife’s voice flooded his body with a lightness one would think only drugs could achieve. He felt almost giddy, striding towards her. If he did not kiss her in a few seconds, he would go insane.

“Not as much as you missed me, Lady Bridgerton.” Anthony could not even convince himself on that note.

He swiftly pulled her onto his lap, carefully lifting her leg, before he took his face in hers and kissed her with every fibre of his being. The scent of lilies and soaps flooded his nostrils as her lips moved against his.

He was never leaving her again.

“Hi,” She whispered as they broke apart, panting heavily as they caught their breath.

“Hi,” He replied, laughing at her as he pulled her closer, pressing his lips against hers softly before burying his face in her hair.

“I was told you were making quite the ruckus in the ballroom in your attempts to find me. It is quite rude to shove people out of your way, you know.”

Anthony rolled his eyes. “People need to learn to get out of my way to simply avoid being shoved. Where were you?”

He twirled a few strands of her hair around his fingers, watching her intently as she spoke. “Cressida Cowper purposely spilled wine on Penelope’s gown. I was helping her get the stain out.”

Anthony scowled, “What an abomination of a person. Penelope was the one who told me you were here. She seemed alright. Was she?”

Kate brushed some of his hair behind his ear, her fingertips lightly trailing his cheek. “She was upset, but tried to hide it. We did not have much luck removing the stain, though. She is dancing with Colin now, so her mood has improved significantly.”

“Cressida had to depart quickly afterwards. A few cream tarts found themselves smeared on the back of her dress.”

Anthony raised an eyebrow. “How they got there, one could only imagine.”

“I suppose we will never know.” Kate’s deviant smile said it all. He really had married the greatest, slightly terrifying, woman to ever exist.

Anthony grinned at her, his incredible wife, their noses touching now as his hands completely wrapped around her. “How are you?”

“Splendid. I did miss you terribly, though. It was quite the nuisance.”

He stole another kiss. “Oh, Kate. You do wonders for my ego.”

She laughed, that sweet, beautiful laugh that rang in his ears and made him feel alive. “It will eventually burst if we are not careful. Was everything well at Aubrey Hall?”

Anthony nodded. “Everything is splendid. I fixed every problem, collected rents and solved disputes. I am glad to be home.”

Kate kissed him, running her fingers over his cheeks. “You work so hard. Next time, at least, you will not be alone. That is the last time you will ever leave me.”

Anthony nodded in agreement. “I have no idea how I lived so many years without you. A week without you felt like a lifetime.”

“I suppose we should make up for lost time, my lord.”

“How so?” Anthony’s gaze darkened.

“Take me home and I will show you,” She whispered, blinking up at him in a way that made Anthony catch his breath.

He did not have to be asked twice.

[funky-boat-zone]

i should talk about the preservation au more and how it’s sad as hell so i will. (cw for mention of character death under the cut)

ten cents: got old and cranky, and he mostly just looks worse instead of more mature. he’s still as hotheaded as he was when he was younger if he thinks something’s bullshit, and he frequently butts heads with the rest of the vessels at his museum and his human crew. that being said, he’s still trying to carry on the star fleet tradition of being a good vessel, even if the star fleet technically doesn’t exist anymore.

oj: so goddamn tired. he’s trying to still act as the voice of reason to both his new fleet and the remaining star fleet, but after all these years and losing so many friends/associates, he’s gone a little numb to the idea of vessels being scrapped. and that definitely scares him, especially because he came so close to being scrapped himself.

hercules: still keeping up the act of being charismatic and level-headed, but inside he’s sad as hell because most of his friends were scrapped and he’ll never see lillie again. he’s mellowed out pretty significantly since his younger days, although that’s mostly because he’s tired and resigned rather than him wanting to give in.

top hat: currently basking in all the attention he’s getting from museum-goers and boat enthusiasts, to the point where a lot of his new fleet find him annoying. like a lot of the remaining tugs, him staying so much like his old self is mostly a coping mechanism. his biggest fear is that the moment he loses the public’s attention, he’ll be left alone to remember that most of his friends are scrapped and gone.

sunshine: maybe he’s dead, maybe he’s not. all that the star fleet knows is that a group of preservationists agreed to buy him from star and restore him.. and then updates on the project went radio silent after a little over a year. ten cents maintains to this day that it was just a scam.

zebedee: semi-content with his new life, although he’s still very hesitant to open up to anyone, not really going out of his way to talk to his crew or his new fleet. he’s relieved to officially be free from the z-stacks, although he thinks that a part of him will always feel guilty for “running away” instead of trying to save his fleetmates. his interactions with zorran have been awkward at best, but he can’t bring himself to completely stop talking to him, since zorran’s the only other z-stack that he knows is still alive.

zorran: hates practically everything and everyone except sleeping and (on one of his good days) zebedee. hates being a tour boat, but at the very least his captain does 90% of the talking. he’s almost certainly traumatized/depressed to some extent given how most of his fleet is dead and how shitty his life’s gotten lately, but he adamantly refuses to talk to anyone about it (or acknowledge it in the first place, for that matter). would be almost pitiable if he didn’t go out of his way to be such an asshole.

[nerdbee]

Sunshine and Shadows- Chapter 7

Nico found himself being frogmarched to the Poseidon table by Percy and Jason. When they reached the table, the three boys sat down, with Jason and Percy on either side of Nico.

Percy immediately picked up his cup and it filled automatically with what Nico now knew to be his preferred beverage of blue coke.

Nico turned to his own cup and took a small sip of his milk. He knew he could never cope with being lactose intolerant like Frank. Plant substitutes just never tasted the same, no matter how much Coach Hedge insisted that they were nicer.

Percy spluttered.

“Are you having milk with your main meal?”

Nico pointedly looked at Percy’s bright blue drink. The son of Poseidon shrugged

“Fair enough I guess”

Jason adjusted his glasses so that they sat higher on his nose.

“So Nico”

he said.

“Did Will tell you about our grand plan? Well, mainly Percy’s grand plan. He’s seen a lot more films than I have, and apparently my music taste “isn’t the kind of thing Nico would like”, whatever that means.

Percy interrupted,

“ I highly doubt that Nico would like it. Imagine Dragons? Really Jason? Really? Also your Miley Cyrus phase was more than any demigod should have to handle in a lifetime.”

Jason didn’t seem at all offended by this and simply turned to Nico.

“So what do you think? How about it? A sleepover in Percy’s cabin with movies and songs and hopefully popcorn.”

Nico nodded.

“Sounds good”

he responded, and the other two boys did some sort of co-ordinated celebratory dance where they sat. Looking over at Percy, he noticed that the son of Poseidon was eating blue spaghetti. Now, baked goods like pancakes and cookies, he could understand. He could even understand the coke. What he didn’t get was blue tomato sauce. That was just ridiculous. Percy could have stopped at having blue pasta, but no. He had to have blue tomatoes as well.

Jason noticed Nico’s incredulous look and grinned at him.

“I know, right? Any more and he’s going to become a smurf. Or maybe Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

Nico laughed. He had no idea what a smurf was, but the name sounded funny. He had once read a copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory from a pile of tattered paperbacks in Chiron’s office in the Big House when he’d first arrived at Camp Half-Blood, and turning into a blueberry seemed to be a very unfortunate fate.

“I’m out of the infirmary tomorrow, so we could maybe do it then?”

he suggested. Percy and Jason nodded. Percy launched into a long rant about the pros and cons of Dreamworks vs. Disney. Nico had heard of Disney, but he wasn’t sure about the films that Percy was talking about, and he’d definitely never heard of Dreamworks.

“... How to Train Your Dragon is an absolute masterpiece, but still, Disney has some absolute classics. Consider Aladdin or 101 Dalmatians.”

Why anyone would even have that many dogs was beyond Nico.

“And that’s not even the best dog one! Lady and the Tramp! Nico you have to watch that one! Jason, bro, help me out here. Let’s show him how the spaghetti scene works.”

Jason frowned

“I’m not sure I want to know what your weird blue spaghetti tastes like.”

He grumbled, while shifting Nico slightly so he had better access to the plate. Percy appeared to be in the process of aiming for and missing a meatball with his nose. When he saw that Jason was participating in his visibly mad plan, he grinned, and picked up the end of a bit of blue spaghetti with his mouth. Out of the corner of his mouth he said to Nico

“This is the really famous bit of the movie”

Except it came out more like

“Dif if de rewy famos bit of de moobie”

Thankfully, Nico had spent enough time aboard the Argo 2 to be able to translate Percy’s mouth-full talk, but he was still really confused as Jason took the other half of the spaghetti strand in his mouth and the two of most respected warriors of Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood began to eat their way towards the other’s mouth. When they got to the middle, Jason bit the spaghetti in two, and sat back down, wiping all traces of blue tomato sauce off his face.

Percy looked at Nico expectantly. He awkwardly sat there and sort of clapped while wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. Percy and Jason both did an overly-dramatic bow.

Nico chuckled again. He liked having friends.

He remembered something from earlier

“Hey Percy, Will has something he wants to show you in a back room in the infirmary.”

Percy looked up, concerned.

“Last time he said he had something to show me, I ended up with several hours of watching Lillie, because her siblings didn’t want her to make a mess in the infirmary. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for babysitting as long as it doesn’t involve a child literally being so hyper they tried to escape out of the window.”

Nico laughed again as he pictured Percy trying to hold down a hyper little girl trying to escape, all while making sure he didn’t hurt her and avoiding the puppy eyes of a desperate child seeking all sorts of mayhem.

“No, it’s not Lillie. You should just come and see it. I’m sure Will will allow Jason to come too, if he behaves himself.”

Jason squawked in mock outrage at this and Percy and Nico laughed at his expression. He pouted down at his fries as Percy tried to get Nico to tell him what the surprise was.

“Soooo… what is it? Pleaseeee!!! Tellllll meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!”

Nevermind Lillie, Percy’s puppy eyes were very hard to resist. He had no idea how Annabeth ever managed to tell him no. Nico solved the problem by turning around and looking at Jason, who now had a smirk on his face.

“Hmmph”

Percy huffed.

“We’d better get this meal done so I can find out what it is”

@rainbow-sheepofthefamily

@emava04

@percabethfangirl

@nightmareghosts

@luna0713hunter

@seven-halfbloods

@my-apollo-gies

My Masterlist for all chapters

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Seasons Change

A/n: This is a commission for someone who wanted to remain anonymous, I hope everyone enjoys! Special thanks to @lvupmushroom​ for killing me softly with the petname “heart”

Summary: Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.

Warnings: angst angst angst, alcohol used as a coping mechanism, some angsty breakup sex, a little possessiveness, happy ending tho!

Word Count: 6137

September 2018

“Talk to me,” Yoongi says, while you’re lying next to him, barely touching, just the slightest breadth of your hip against his, and you can see his chest heaving.

“What do you want to talk about?” You ask, and your heart beats faster.

There’s something wrong. Something big, and you don’t know what it is and you’re trying to avoid it, hope it isn’t real, but it’s looming closer and closer.

This had been the first time you’d been intimate in weeks, and that wasn’t unusual due to his schedule and yours. It’d been good, it was always good even when you were both exhausted and not giving it your all because you knew each other's bodies so well after all this time, but….

But: he didn’t kiss your lips like he usually does, latched on to your throat. But: he didn’t look into your eyes at all this time, focusing on your tits bouncing. But: you’d fucked hard and dirty hundreds of times but it’d never felt quite like this.

“Tell me something real. Something true.” Yoongi begs, voice low and hoarse.

He’s still got his eyes closed and you close yours too, hoping to block out that feeling.

“Something’s wrong,” you say, haltingly. “Something’s wrong and I don’t know if we can fix it.”

He’s quiet and the darkness makes your heartbeat sound in your ears and when he shifts to wrap his arms around you, you let out a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding.

“Tell me something real,” you whisper.

“I love you,” he says, right at the shell of your ear, and you’re waiting for him to say, “but it’s not enough” and he never does.

February 2018

You come home too early from work and catch Yoongi red-faced and cursing, holding a mangled flower in his hand, bits of stem and petals strewn across your bedroom.

You stifle a laugh. “Baby, what are you doing?”

“Your favorite flower has bullshit petals,” he cries, throwing it on the floor, and his face is all scrunched and frustrated and you can’t help it, peals of laughter pouring out of you.

“This is what I get for trying to be romantic,” he says dryly, but he’s smiling.

Once you catch your breath, you wrap your arms around his waist. “Baby,” you croon. “You should’ve used roses.”

“Lillies are your favorite,” he insists stubbornly, and you kiss him hard, laughing into his mouth when he stumbles backward onto the bed, onto the poor, mangled flowers.

He still has pieces of the flower in his hand when you ride him, rolling your hips slow and lazy, and he reaches up to push your hair behind your ear.

Later, you think of how he looked at you, of how bright with love his eyes were, mouth parted, wide open, like he was giving you all of him. Later, you wonder if it was a sign, all those mangled petals beneath your bodies while you used up the last of the love between you.

October 2018

You rub his back soothingly as he empties his stomach into the toilet bowl, your own head only a bit fuzzy. You’re not sure what happened, really, Namjoon’s Halloween party had been fairly low-key and your Bonnie and Clyde couples costumes had been a hit.

You’d flitted off to mingle like the social butterfly you were, ending up talking to a rather tipsy Namjoon about a book series you’d loaned him for an hour in the kitchen. You caught Yoongi’s gaze from the living room, him standing against the wall alone with a red cup in his hand, and he had given you a smile that you returned easily.

Everything had seemed fine until Jungkook had bounded up to you anxiously, big eyes glassy.

“Yoongi-hyung is sick, noona. He wanted me to get you.”

He’s already throwing up when you get there and you lock the door and settle behind him on the floor.

When he finishes and twists his head to look at you, his face is flushed, eyes wet. “Y/n,” he breathes, clutching at you as if he hadn’t seen you in weeks.

You smile, a little bewildered at how he’d gotten this drunk in the time you’d been talking to Namjoon.

“Baby, you okay?”

Yoongi makes this sound in the back of his throat, leans his back against your chest and your arms go around him, resting your hands gently above his belly.

He shakes his head, eyes closed, tears creeping from underneath his lids.

You hum softly. “You’re okay, baby.”

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice gravelly and low.

You can’t help chuckling. “Don’t be sorry. I threw up all over your new leather jacket at Jimin’s birthday party earlier this month. I owe you.”

He opens his eyes, looking at you upside down. “You’d have been better off, yeah?” He mumbles, words slow and slurred.

You move a hand to his hair, brushing it off his forehead.

“What are you talking about, my silly boy?”

He doesn’t answer, just turns his face into your hand and you hum a little more, a piece of some song you barely remember.

You get him to his bed with Jungkook’s help, the younger man returning with a glass of water while you lie behind Yoongi, rubbing at the small of his back.

You get up to lead Jungkook to the door, assuring him everything will be fine, but Yoongi turns and grabs at your wrist, making this cute little whine with his eyes still closed. You smile down at him, heart swelling, and wait until he’s asleep before gently placing his arm back on the bed.

“I’m worried,” Jungkook says in a low tone, before you even get out of the bedroom.

“It’s okay, Kookie, he’ll be fine in the morning-”

Jungkook shuts the bedroom door softly behind him and turns to you with a serious look, which makes you smile a little because his face is flushed from alcohol.

“He wasn’t…. he’s not acting like himself. He was saying all these things-”

You manage to reassure him and check on Yoongi once more before going back to the party.

It ends up being you and Namjoon as the last ones standing, which isn’t unusual because you both talk more than drink, and you doze off on the couch with your head on his shoulder.

December 2017

You’d met Yoongi a few times, interning at Bighit, and the longer you work there, the more often you see him. He always has a gummy smile for you and you’d had a few impassioned conversations about music, and you often considered asking him to coffee or dinner, but….he was the Min Yoongi after all, and you’re still a nobody.

“Y/n?” You hear his voice after you come out of the gym one evening. You’re a little embarrassed, being barefaced and sweaty and tired, but you turn and smile nonetheless.

“Hi, Min Yoongi-ssi.”

He shakes his head. “Just Yoongi.”

Your eyes widen, a nervous giggle escaping your lips. “Okay, just Yoongi.”

He just looks at you for a moment and you wonder if you look worse than you think because he’s staring so hard.

“I like you,” he finally says, quietly.

You blink. “You…you like me?”

His face flushes pink but he doesn’t drop eye contact. He nods.

“I do. A lot. You’re pretty and kind and talented and….just go out with me, yeah?” He mumbles, shuffling his feet, and your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

“Well, Just Yoongi. Who could say no?”

It starts just as simply as it ends, with only the middle making up your story.

March, 2019

You’re idly thinking about what to get Yoongi for his birthday, maybe buy some new lingerie, kickstart whatever rut you’ve been in, with him sitting next to you on his laptop, when he says it.

“I think we need a break.”

There’s no mistaking what he means, his tone, how he won’t look at you, how it suddenly seems like he’s sitting miles away instead of a few feet. He’s tense, curled in on himself, shoulders rounded.

You’re shocked, anyway, even though you’ve been feeling this bearing down on you like a train. But now when the tracks were rumbling under your feet, you’re frozen.

“Yoongi,” is all you can say, voice shaking, breath catching in your throat.

He doesn’t respond for a long moment, and when he does it’s like cold water being dumped on your head.

“You can move back into your old place, yeah?”

You sit there, shellshocked. “You…you want me to move out?”

He doesn’t respond, fingers tapping away on his keyboard like you’re not even there.

You feel something crack inside your chest. “Yoongi,” you say, and then again, louder. “Yoongi.”

When he still doesn’t answer you stand up and slam his laptop shut, narrowly missing his fingers.

Yoongi huffs out a breath but otherwise barely reacts, just looking up at you expectantly.

All the anger goes out of you in a rush.

“Yoongi,” you say again, his name feeling thick in your mouth. “Why?”

“It’s too much,” he says quickly, as if he’d rehearsed this, and fuck, what if he had? What if he’d been thinking about doing this for days? Weeks? Months? Your stomach rolls.

“It’s too much to keep up with, work and a relationship and…everything.”

He looks away from you again and you shake your head. You lean down to take his face in your hands and finally you hear his breath hitch, finally some reaction.

“Stop it. Stop acting like I’m nobody, we don’t do this. We’ve never done this. We don’t pretend to be hard around each other. It’s you and me, Yoongi. Look at me. Talk to me.”

“It’s too hard. I’m sorry.”

“That’s it? This is how you break up with me?”

You search his face and there’s nothing there. Nothing at all. He’d shut down before, so had you, after fights, and it’d been happening more and more but…

“I’m sorry,” he says again, flatly, and you let go of his face and abruptly go to start packing a bag, tears blurring your vision.

You keep waiting for him to come after you, waiting up until the point you get to the door, your stomach hurting from holding back sobs, and the air seems infinitely colder outside in the hallway when he doesn’t.

May 2019

Yoongi keeps it together for a whole two months until your promotion comes through.

After he’d snapped at Taehyung for asking where you were, the other boys had avoided the subject for the most part, apart from some sympathetic glances from Namjoon that made him want to either cry or punch the leader in the stomach. Probably both.

But your promotion and your mutual friends make it impossible to avoid you..

You were all any of his friends could talk about, suddenly, and who could blame them, really?

He’d seen you scribbling away in a notebook with one hand while mechanically eating a bagel with the other and felt such a pull in his gut, this kinship immediately.

But now there was this yawning hole where that feeling used to be, and he had no one to blame but himself.

It didn’t help that the maknae line we’re all gushing over you, talking about going over to your dorm for a party, all hushing immediately when he walked into the room.

He sends you flowers and a note, a simple: good job and it feels stupid and not enough but along with everything else he’s feeling, he’s fiercely proud of you.

Yoongi’s buried himself in work enough that he’s been mostly okay. The mornings were the hardest, waking up and reaching out for you, still sleeping on one side of the bed, everything coming back to him in a rush.

When he breaks, it’s not the selfies on your social media, pictures of you smiling at the camera, your sultry eyes seeming to stare right through him. He knows those are staged, had posted similar ones himself pretending to be okay

It’s a seemingly innocuous picture, nestled in amongst the others of Jimin’s flushed face and selfies of Taehyung and Jungkook, that Jimin sends in the group chat during the party.

You’re standing with Jungkook at your right, staring at you with big eyes, his crush on you ever apparent, but that’s never bothered Yoongi a bit. It isn’t even that you’re standing close to Namjoon, looking up at him.

It’s how the camera caught you mid laugh, mouth open, head thrown back, and you’d always been at your most beautiful laughing. Yoongi can’t remember the last time he’d seen it, maybe February with the ruined lilies.

The picture feels like a spear in his gut and he looks at it for a long time, transported right back to that fucking Halloween party.

He’d been worried for weeks, saw the look on your face when you read the mean comments some fans had left on a picture of Yoongi looking at you, seated a few seats from you at an award show.

You’d blown it off but you’d been low for days. You were always so bright and then suddenly you just seemed…dimmed.

Then at the Halloween party, sipping some foul hunch punch Jimin had poured him, Yoongi sees how happy you seem chatting with Namjoon and he’s never been jealous of the relationship you have with his leader before. The two of you have similar tastes in books and he’s often found you curled up on the couch with Namjoon reading to you and he’d always smiled, thought it cute.

But something about the way you were smiling at Namjoon that night…it made his thoughts turn dark.

He’s having those same thoughts now, only it’s worse, this deep, dark feeling rising in his chest. Namjoon would have known what to say when you seemed down about those comments. He would have known how to distract you or reassure you, would have been better at sheltering you, keeping the reporters from snapping pictures when you were out together.

If you’d met Namjoon first…. you’d have been happy.

His breathing feels liquid all of a sudden, catching in his chest and he’s already had two glasses of scotch but it’s not nearly enough to numb anything he’s feeling.

He keeps telling himself it’s the right thing when he feels it crash over him like a wave, keeps telling himself you’ll be happier but he hadn’t considered how much it would hurt when you were and the whole world seems darker and colder. He feels small and so fucking alone that he tosses his phone onto the couch and puts his head in his hands, trying to regulate his heartbeat.

His thoughts just keep spiraling and he pours himself a double scotch with shaking hands.

It could happen, now. You could be talking so passionately to Namjoon with that wide open smile and it’d be nothing for him to lean down and kiss you. Nothing for him to ask you to coffee, read you fucking poetry at the cafe. It’d be nothing for you to fall in love again.

That feeling rising in his chest seems to break open like some kind of vial of poison, spreading through his bone marrow until he’s just sitting on the couch and crying openly, limbs heavy, and he scrambles for his phone when the notification for the group chat goes off again.

It’s just more pictures of you looking proud and happy with all your friends and you’re so much brighter, like a candle just lit instead of the flickering one you’d been before and it should feel better. It should feel better because he’s made the right choice but instead it feels like all the world is wrong without you.

He gasps in a breath and he doesn’t think anything has ever hurt this much, not appendicitis, not his first heart ache, nothing.

By the time he can think enough to dial your number, it’s nearing daylight and he’s too drunk and sad for this and he’s half grateful and half bitterly disappointed when your voicemail picks up.

There’s so much he wants to say that he nearly chokes on it, wants to beg you to come home, beg you to tell him how to make you happy, so there’s a long pause.

“I wanted to say congratulations, heart.” The pet name tumbles out before he can stop it. “You look…you look so happy.” He can feel his voice about to break and he clears his throat. “I’m so proud of you.”

He hangs up before he starts to cry in earnest and curls up on the couch, praying the alcohol quiets his mind enough to let him slip into oblivion.

July 2019

Yoongi is so monumentally fucking stupid that he isn’t sure how he’s survived this long.

All he can think about when he wakes up in your bed with you face down and naked beside him, is how fucking stupid he is. For ever breaking you up in the first place. For going to Namjoon’s party after his friend had the good grace to warn him you’d be coming even though you’d moved away.

He hadn’t seen you in four months and it seemed simultaneously like four years and like four minutes when you hugged him and he breathes in your natural scent overlayed with something new and acrid, like men’s cologne, and his heart seizes in his chest.

“You look beautiful,” he says and it comes out low and breathy and he wants to melt into the floor when you smile at him, big and open.

“You look good too,” you say, and that’s a fucking lie. He looks like shit and he knows it.

He’s been a hermit for four months, working and barely eating, barely sleeping, fighting a mental breakdown every time he found anything that even remotely reminded him of you.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, and he could kiss Taehyung when he offers him a cup of something alcoholic.

Yoongi tries to stay away from you at the party, he really does. But somehow he keeps ending up standing close to you, trailing from room to room, following you around like a lost puppy.

He doesn’t talk to you at first, but he keeps hearing snatches of conversation.

His skin prickles when he sees you talking to Namjoon in the kitchen in a horrible repeat of Halloween.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi isn’t a violent person but he really, really wants to kick in his perfect teeth.

“Not really,” you respond demurely, and something stupid and jealous inside him snaps and he jerks forward into the kitchen.

He doesn’t know how it happens, exactly, but it all falls into place so easily. He asks about your promotion and your new city and then Jungkook comes barreling outside to puke with Taehyung trailing behind to help and Yoongi’s hand has instinctively gone to your lower back.

He doesn’t move it and a few minutes later he kisses you while you’re laughing at something he said and fifteen minutes after that he’s got you pressed against the elevator rail with his hand up your skirt.

He remembers kissing you and kissing you and kissing you until your lips are red and swollen and it still isn’t enough. He tries to memorize your skin via his fingertips, the taste of you on his tongue. His stupid fucking mouth starts running almost immediately.

“Missed you so much, heart. Love you so much.”

“You left me,” you say, clutching at him, and the raw look on your face makes him feel like his chest is splitting open.

He hurt you. He hurt you trying to protect you and now he was just making everything worse and…

Yoongi kisses you to silence his thoughts, doesn’t want to lose this moment in case it’s the last one.

He knows your body like he knows his own but it seems new to him now, your skin sunkissed and glowing, the curve of your hip bones just a bit sharper when he puts his mouth there.

When he’s inside you it’s like coming home and he drops down on his forearms, cups your face in his hands.

You arch your back, close your eyes and he kisses your eyelids, the salt on your eyelashes stinging his tongue.

“I love you I love you I love you,” he chants, like a mantra, like a prayer, and you make this broken whimper when you come, clenching tight around his cock, making his hips buck. He wants to keep fucking you even after he spills himself inside you but you're trembling, tears staining your cheeks and instead he rolls off you, draws you into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into the shell of your ear, and it's not nearly enough.

The way you dip your tongue into the hollow of his collarbone makes him shiver with memory, it'd always been your favorite spot to kiss and mark, and he's overwhelmed by the need to tell you he was wrong, to beg you to forgive him, but he feels your breath hot and even against his chest.

He barely sleeps, and when he watches you sleep, your face slack, lips parted, he hears your words over and over in his head: you left me.

He leaves you again, before you wake up, something hot and empty in his chest.

December, 2019

Things got better so slowly that you didn't notice exactly when you stopped crying yourself to sleep, when you started thinking about Yoongi only once a day, then once a week.

Now, you manage not to think of him unless you're reminded by something, despite the setback in May that had almost broken you completely.

You'd almost lost your new job, unable to get out of bed for days after you'd woken up alone with just the smell of him on your sheets, lingering like a ghost.

Now, you were doing well, even dating again, in a whole new city far away from where you'd had your heart smashed into pieces. You weren't even bitter when your mutual friends mentioned him, at least not much.

Still, though, your breath catches in your throat when you see he's sent you a text.

It's Yoongi, it says, as if you'd ever forget his number. I'm in your town for a couple of days...wanna have a coffee with me?

You stare at the text for a long time, your heard beating wildly, before you message back with a time and place.

He's already there when you walk in, and he looks devastatingly good in a brown trenchcoat, his hair natural again and swept back from his face a bit. He gives you his gummy smile when he sees you and half stands as you approach the table.

You feel your heart crack right down the middle. 

"Hey," you say, and it feels dumb but it's all you can think.

He's looking at you with stars in his eyes, still smiling, and he reaches across the table to take your hand.

The air feels thin, you feel raw and vulnerable and anxious but you can't pull away when his thumb is rubbing circles on your palm.

"I missed you, heart," he says, eyes all earnest and shining and God, you'd thought you were done hoping, thought you were done hurting like this.

You smile and hope it isn't as weak as it feels. "What brings you here, Yoongi?"

Yoongi's thumb stops moving on your palm and he clears his throat. "Ah, just... visiting friends."

He looks away from you and you lean forward, a bit concerned. For all the heartache he put you through, some part of you still loves him, and he's never lied to you so blatantly before.

"What's going on with you, Yoongi?"

His cheeks are turning pink when he looks back at you.

"I came here to see you."

"Wh-why?" Your heart seizes in your chest and you take your hands from his.

He puffs out his cheeks and lets out a long breath. "I...wanted...I want to say I'm sorry. For everything. And that I still love you. And that I want you to come home."

He says it so simply, almost easily, as if it didn't make you feel as if you're about to have a panic attack.

"You left me," you say, voice small, and he winces.

"Heart-"

"Don't fucking call me that." You hiss, and hurt flashes in his eyes and it doesn't make you feel better, not even a little.

"You left me. You left me twice. And now you come here when we haven't talked in months and just expect me to-"

"I don't expect anything," he says quickly, his eyes wet, and you hate this, hate how much it still hurts because you thought you were better.

You're tired, suddenly, so tired your bones hurt.

"Yoongi, what…"

"I should never have left you. There's never been anyone else, heart. It's always been you and I didn't….I was worried that you weren't happy."

"You can't do this," you whisper. "Don't do this to me, Yoongi."

"I'm sorry," he says, almost in a whispers, and his eyes are wet and wide. "I'm so sorry, Y/n, I'd do anything-

"What if I'm seeing someone?" You blurt out, desperate to get some semblance of control over how vulnerable you feel.

Yoongi stiffens, hands clenching on the edge of the table. "Are you?"

His voice is calm but his face is anything but, bottom lip trembling.

"I am," you say, and it isn't exactly a lie, you've been seeing someone off and on, but it isn't serious.

Yoongi looks as if you'd hit him, and it should make you angry, as if you'd just be sitting around waiting for him to come back, but instead it just makes your heart ache.

You wait for him to shut down, to be angry and leave, but he doesn't move, clutching at the edge of the table like a lifeline.

"I should be happy for you," he says quietly, his voice strained and shaking. "But I...I just miss you so bad, heart." His voice cracks and you choke back a sob.

"I can't do this," you whisper, standing and abandoning your coffee untouched, leaving before you can look back and fall apart.

January 2020

Yoongi had been in your city for the better part of a month, unwilling to give up and go home.

He texts you every day, simply: I love you, heart. He doesn't want to pressure you, tries to stay calm but he's pacing his hotel room at night wondering if you're in someone else's arms.

It wasn't something he'd ever let himself think about, you moving on and finding someone else, but now…

Now all he can think about is a hand on the small of your back, lips pressed against your neck and it makes his whole body shake, makes him feel restless, as if he should be doing something, but short of throwing you over his shoulder like a caveman he doesn't know what he could do.

He drinks too much and writes these long paragraphs about how he'll never hurt you again, how he'll spend the rest of his life making up for it, but you never respond, he doesn't even get the read receipt. He sends you his hotel address, hopes you'll show up.

He's lying face down on the hotel bed, half drunk with his phone in his hand, when there's a knock on the door.

When he gets to the door, a little unsteady, he's so shocked that it's you that he stumbles backward a few steps.

"Heart….Y/n-"

Your eyes are puffy, as if you'd been crying, and the urge to pull you into his arms is so strong he sits down hard on the bed to stop himself.

"What happens if I say yes?" You ask after closing the door behind you.

Yoongi can't speak for a moment, hope clogging his throat. "Anything you want," he manages, regretting the last two drinks because he can't stop watching your mouth.

"What if I don't want to move back?"

Yoongi shifts on the bed, the hope rising in his chest making him anxious. 

"I'll move here. I'll do anything you want, heart, I'll be anything you want, just-" his voice breaks and he reaches out to you. "Just please come back to me."

"You left me," you say again, and those three words are arrows in his heart.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out, wiping tears from his face. 

"In July," you continue, trembling all over. "In July, you said all those things and you left me alone. I would've come back then, Yoongi, it wouldn't have even been a question, so why?"

Yoongi hates himself so much he's choking on it, can barely breathe, but finally he inhales through his nostrils and out through his mouth to calm himself.

"I thought I'd hurt you too much and you'd never….we were drinking and I couldn't stand for you to look at me with regret….I was stupid and selfish and I'll never leave you again, never, never-"

His words cut off when you take a hesitant step forward.

"I don't know how to trust you," you say in a shaking voice, but your hand comes out to thread your fingers in his hair and Yoongi hums in the back of his throat at your touch.

"I'll earn it. We can go to counseling, I'll walk through fire to get you back, heart."

His hands hover over your hips, not quite touching you.

You're stroking his hair and looking down at him with all this emotion in your eyes and he wants it so bad, wants you so bad it hurts in his bones, but it has to be you, has to be your choice.

You dip your head and his heart stops beating until you press your mouth to his and he feels dizzy from the way you taste, your waist beneath his hands.

When you pull away he draws in a shaking breath, lips parted. "Heart….Y/n...does this mean…"

He can't say it, can't say it and have you say no, braces himself for you to say it was a goodbye kiss, heart clenching in his chest.

"I don't know how to trust you again," you whisper, and Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut.

He feels adrift for a moment before your lips graze his eyelids, and it all comes crashing down that it's over and he feels tears slip down his face.

"But I want to try," you finish, and wonder of all wonders, you climb into his lap, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

His arms go around your back and he's almost afraid to open his eyes, afraid that you'll disappear, that this is some dream caused by too little sleep and too much alcohol.

But you're still there, still smiling, still looking at him like you used to, and his heart feels so full it hurts.

Yoongi doesn't speak, just kisses along your collarbone, under the strap of your shirt.

He's still worried that this will all slip away somehow, can't believe his luck, and he mumbles against your skin.

"What about your boyfriend?"

You stiffen and he hates himself for asking, hates himself for ruining this moment with insecurity and jealousy.

"He wasn't my boyfriend," you confess. "Just….a friend."

Yoongi doesn't know why he can't shut up, why he keeps asking questions when he's gotten everything he's wanted for months now, but there's this buzzing underneath his skin, this rock in his gut.

He hums nervously in the back of his throat. "You said you were seeing someone." 

He wishes he could sew his mouth shut when you huff out a frustrated breath.

"It doesn't matter," he says quickly, but it does, it does matter, he wants to know if someone else had touched you, kissed you while he'd been lying in bed and staring at the ceiling and crying himself to sleep.

"What do you want me to say, Yoongi? You want me to say I was sitting at home waiting for you to realize you fucked up?"

You sound angry and suddenly he's miserable and sorry and wants to take it all back.

He doesn't know how to, though, so he hides his face in your neck, hugs you tight.

"I love you," he says simply, and after a moment you start to relax, put your head on his shoulder.

"I'm tired," you whisper.

Yoongi makes a distressed sound in the back of his throat, shifts to lie you on the bed and pull the blankets around you, pulling you back into his arms.

He watches your face, thumbs tears from your cheeks, waits for you to talk instead of asking all the questions racing in his mind.

"I tried so hard to make things work without you," you say, voice tired and shaky. "I have this new job and there was this new guy and...I thought I was getting there, you know?"

There's a lump in his throat and he just nods.

"But when I saw you at that cafe….it was like the morning you left all over again and I just…." You whimper and rest your head on his chest and there's a bitter taste in his mouth with how much he hates himself for hurting you.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, heart," he mumbles, and it's not enough, so he kisses along your hairline, rubs his hands down your back, hoping you can feel how sorry he is through his touch.

You lift your head to look at him.

"I've learned a lot about myself since you broke up with me, and...I can live without you."

Yoongi nods. Of course you can. Of course you can be happy, start a new life that has nothing to do with him and you're going to realize you'd never needed him at all and leave his arms forever-

"But I don't want to. I don't want to live without you, Yoongi. Even if we have to do this long distance, even if...if you leave me again-"

"Never. Never," he insists emphatically. "You're my heart and I let you leave my chest once. I can't do it again. I won't."

Your breath catches in your chest and you tuck your head on his shoulder, your arms wrapped around his waist.

You drift off in his arms and he watches you sleep, thinking that if he closes his eyes somehow you'll disappear, and it's weeks before he stops feeling that way.

He stays in the hotel room another week, figuring things out, and you spend several nights there.

He finds fading marks on your breasts and inner thighs and it's like a knife in his gut, but he doesn't ask, it's not his business who left them or what they meant to you, even if it makes his blood curdle to think about.

It doesn't matter if you're with him, if you can forgive him it doesn't matter, even if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

February 2020

It isn't easy, learning to trust Yoongi again. He's still hesitant when he touches you, afraid to say or do the wrong thing as if you'll blow up and leave.

Yoongi is nothing but sweet and accommodating when you talk about what to do, how you'll continue your relationship given your new job and location.

You hear the catch in his breath, the miserable look on his face when he sees the marks your ex lover had left on your body, but he doesn't ask a single question.

The last night he's in the hotel before his flight, he's extra clingy, clutching your hand and holding you close in the big hotel bed, kissing this spot on your shoulder over and over. You realize after a few moments it's one of the fading marks.

"It wasn't like it was with you," you say softly, and he stiffens. 

"It doesn't matter," he mumbles.

"I didn't love him. Never loved anyone like I love you," you tell him, and the gummy smile he gives you makes warmth bloom in your chest.

It will take time to get back to where you were, and part of you is glad that you've taken a break, glad that you know that you could survive without him, but when you're lying in his arms on your visits or when he hugs you do tightly you can barely breathe when you meet him at the airport, you're so glad that you don't have to.

[fisheoctrashdump]

Grinding metal met Drew's ears, pulling him out of the light sleep he'd finally fallen into. As his senses came alive, the strain on his shoulders made him groan. He couldn't find the strength to move, even with his mind screaming at him to do so. He looked around the room as best he could, but without his glasses, everything appeared to be one blurry, dark mass. 

"Good morning, Silas." 

Drew tensed at the sound of his voice. He felt his fingertips on his shoulder before his entire body pressed into Drew's from behind. Drew hissed as the pain his shoulders worsened, and halfheartedly struggled against the metal cuffs his hands were bound together with.

His arms were around Drew's waist now. A gentle kiss was planted on Drew's neck. He felt the hot breath of his owner as a small chuckle escaped. Drew held back a whimper by biting his bottom lip, feeling the chapped skin against his tongue. 

"Relax. I'm not mad anymore." 

Drew exhaled. "I can tell." 

"Then why so tense?" 

You know exactly why, Drew thought. 

He remained silent as Gleb began to release Drew's hands. The first one removed was excruciating. Drew cried out as his arm fell at his side. The pain in his shoulder was worse. As the second hand was removed, Drew felt the strength leave his legs. 

He fell to his knees, trembling. A sound of irritation came from behind him. Drew kept his gaze on the ground below him as Gleb stepped lightly in a half circle, pausing once he was in front of Drew. 

"Look at me," Gleb demanded. 

Drew slowly lifted his head, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes. I'm not crying today, he told himself.

Gleb scoffed at Drew. He pushed a smile across his lips as he crouched down until he and Drew were eye level. 

"It's still there." 

Drew's gaze hardened, but he didn't speak.

"You'll give up eventually. I'll make you forget about him." 

He reached out to caress Drew's cheek with the back of his hand. Slowly, he moved his hand to the back of Drew's head. He curled his fingers into a fist, a bunch of Drew's hair gathered up in the process. Gleb stood, pulling Drew to his feet with him. 

Gleb leaned forward slowly, never releasing his hold on Drew's hair. He paused when his lips were next to Drew's ear. 

"He's already forgotten about you, too." A pause. "No one is going to help you, Silas. No one." 

Gleb planted a gentle kiss on Drew's cheek as he slowly loosened his grip on his hair. He gradually slid his hand down Drew's back. 

"Anyway," Gleb began, using his free hand to grip Drew's jaw, "we've wasted enough time already. You have a lot of apologizing to do for yesterday." 

Gleb paused, smirking at the flash of an expression he noticed on Drew's face. 

"You did want to make it up to me, right?" 

Drew swallowed dryly. He opened his mouth, but it took several long moments before a bitter "yes" was spoken.

Gleb's expression hardened.

Drew forcefully lightened his tone. "Yes. Please, I would love to. Thank you." 

It was an eternity before he felt ready, but Drew opened his eyes slowly. He felt the warmth of his tears on his cheek as lowered his hands away from the sides of his head. Several worried looks from familiar faces painted the room around him. Although, this only made him feel worse. 

He mumbled an apology as he wiped his eyes on the collar of his shirt. Lillie stood the closest to him. She had a hand outstretched towards him, but never touching. 

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

Drew forced a smile as more tears left his eyes. "Yeah, totally." 

Lillie lowered her hand and watched Drew worriedly. "Do you need to talk?" 

"Oh, no. No, I'm fine." He turned his gaze to the others in the room. "Really." 

Lincoln and Yoh exchanged brief glances. Ash stood behind the two looking almost as rattled as Drew felt. 

"Maybe you should take a break," Lincoln suggested. "We can finish up." 

"No, it's… it's okay." 

"Lincoln made it sound like you have a choice in this, but you really don't," Lillie said. "Go sit down. I mean it." 

Drew frowned. I don't want to be alone right now, he thought. He couldn't bring himself to say this, though. He barely nodded before leaving the room with his head down. 

Drew found his way to the bathroom. Locking the door behind him was all the signal his body needed to let it out. Drew leaned against the door as he felt himself fall apart. Fresh tears left his eyes until he was coughing and gasping for air. 

No one is going to help me, he thought. This is my fault. I'm a burden to them.

Ash left their bed for the sixth time that night. It was getting late, but they were determined to sneak out before she got back. They couldn't fall asleep again like the last time.

They cautiously turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. As they peered down the stairs, they could hear the voices of their parents from the living room. The light from the television partially flooded the staircase. Ash exhaled and returned to their prison of a room. They were starting to feel hopeless. 

I should've known tonight would be exactly the same, they thought. 

Ash searched their room silently for anything that could be useful. They paused when their gaze landed on the window. An idea entered their mind, but Ash wasn't sure if it was worth the risk. They walked over to the window and examined the distance between the window and the ground below it. They paused, considering their options. Maybe an emergency room visit would be the better idea. 

Ash took a few deep breaths as they unlatched the window, and began to pull it open. They stared vacantly outside, but couldn't bring themself to move. 

"What are you doing?" 

Ash jumped, whipping their head towards the door where… she now stood. 

"I… am…" Ash stared wide eyed at Erika. 

Erika glared darkly at Ash as she stormed across the room. She pushed Ash aside and slammed the window. 

Ash shrank into the corner of their room, looking up at Erika silently. 

"I'm not in the mood for this." Erika turned her head to look down as Ash. They watched each other for several moments. Ash was wishing to disappear, but they knew that wouldn't happen. 

"Take off your clothes." 

Ash slowly put their arms around themself and shook their head. 

"Really? You're going to do this again?" Erika dropped to her knees. "Do it. Now." 

Ash's eyes filled with tears, but they still refused to move. They whispered a barely audible "please", but this only angered Erika more. 

Erika lunged forward and grabbed Ash's wrists. She pulled their arms down by their sides and kissed Ash. Ash began to struggle against Erika, but she gripped their wrists tighter and kissed them more forcefully. 

When she lifted her head away, Ash began to sob. This made Erika pause momentarily. She slowly ran a hand through Ash's hair, and her expression softened. 

"Don't cry, Willow. It's okay." She released Ash's other wrist and placed her hands on both sides of Ash's face. "I love you. No one else cares about you, but I do. I always have." 

Ash whimpered loudly and closed their eyes. They didn't want to look at Erika anymore. Please, I just wanna disappear, they thought. 

"Don't worry. Mom and dad left for a party, so we'll be alone for the rest of the night." Erika smiled gently. "I'll take care of you until they get back." 

"-selfish for me to think this, but he's making this needlessly difficult. We just wanna help." 

"Everyone has their own ways of coping," Yoh pointed out. She turned off the burner and pushed the pot backwards to a different area of the stove. "He knows we're trying to help." 

Lillie watched Yoh desperately. She wanted to hear something else, even if she knew Yoh was right. 

"May-" Ash cut themself off to clear their throat. "Maybe I could go check on him?" 

Lincoln nodded at Ash. "I think he'd appreciate that." 

Lillie sighed. "Better you than me." 

Yoh and Lincoln looked at her, although Yoh's expression seemed a little harsher. 

"Sorry," Lillie immediately said. "Yeah, I think it would be a good idea. Go ahead, Ash." 

Ash looked at everyone in the room desperately. They were starting to have second thoughts after Lillie's comment. 

Lincoln carefully approached Ash and bent down to wrap his arms around their shoulders. Ash exhaled the air they didn't realize they'd been holding and hugged him back. 

"Will you give that to Drew for me?" he asked. 

Ash nodded. "Yeah, I will." 

Lincoln let go of Ash and smiled softly at them. Ash nervously left the room and began their search for Drew. 

They left the living room and walked down the hallway to check his bedroom. Ash paused, however, when they passed the bathroom. They could faintly hear the sound of Drew crying on the other side of the door. Ash felt their chest tighten. 

With a shaking hand, Ash lightly tapped against the wood with their knuckles. 

The crying continued uninterrupted. Ash's frown deepened and they searched the hallway for some kind of solution to the problem. 

"Um, Drew?" Ash's voice was soft. 

A brief pause. The sound of sniffles ceased momentarily. 

"Yeah? What's up, Ash?" Drew attempted to make his voice sound calm, but Ash already knew. There really wasn't any point. 

Ash struggled to find the words to say next. I know how you feel, they thought. No, that's not what I should say.

Their gaze fell on the brightly colored bracelets on their wrists. Ash gently looped their finger under one of them and began to play with the beads. 

"I have something for you," Ash mumbled. 

There was a longer pause, and Ash wondered if Drew heard them. 

"I have-" Ash was interrupted when the door started opening slowly. "Oh." 

Light from the bathroom flooded into the hallway. Ash looked up at Drew, feeling the urge to cry hit them again. His eyes were puffy and raw, and the collar of his shirt was visibly damp. 

Ash gasped lightly and sat down in front of the doorway. Drew watched for a moment before he sat down as well, looking across from them. They looked at each other in silence. So many possible words echoed in their minds, but neither knew which was the right ones to say. 

Ash finally dropped their gaze to their lap and they played with their bracelets quietly. Eventually, they chose one and tugged it off their wrist. Ash held it out to Drew, who slowly reached out to accept it. 

"It's blue. Like Lincoln." Ash blushed and hurriedly corrected themself, "his hair, I mean." 

Drew released a sound that resembled a laugh, but it didn't match his expression. He lightly traced his fingers across the beads. It was made of dark blue and white pony beads. He slipped the bracelet over his hand and examined it closer as it rested on his wrist. Like Lincoln...

"Thank you." 

Ash nodded and folded their hands in their lap. 

"I'm sorry I ruined it," Drew whispered. "You wanted us to help you make candy, and I couldn't…" 

Drew trailed off when he noticed the tears falling to Ash's lap. His instinct was to retreat before he caused anymore damage, but he fought the urge. 

"I know about…" Ash whimpered softly. "I heard you talking... to Lillie earlier." 

Drew's heart skipped a beat as their words registered in his mind. He scooted backwards a little, uncomfortable. 

"You did?" 

Ash nodded. They gradually lifted their head, but still avoided Drew's gaze. Drew wanted to apologize to Ash, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. 

"When we were in the kitchen… you saw him, didn't you?" Ash began to breathe faster, each breath more difficult than the last. "I… I saw… I was…" Ash sighed in frustration. "I remembered, too." 

Erika? Drew impulsively reached his hand out to place it on Ash's knee, but was stopped when Ash lunged forward and put their arms around Drew. They hugged Drew tight and cried into his shirt. 

Drew could only stay still, stunned. So many emotions stirred inside him, and he was unsure how to react next. Hesitantly and very slowly, Drew returned the hug Ash had thrown themself into. 

Ash melted into the hug. Their crying soon died down and allowed them to leave the comfort of Drew's embrace. Ash wiped their eyes with their knuckles. 

"My… my body feels like it's on fire when I have to remember. The places where…" Ash's voice got smaller. "The places she touched me burns. I wanna forget." 

The places she touched me burns. This sentence froze all thoughts in Drew's mind. He shivered. 

"Me too," he whispered. "I wanna forget too. But I… I can still feel it, sometimes." 

"It's like she's still here…" 

"Like I never escaped." 

They both sighed. Ash started playing with the loose string on their jeans. 

"You made me feel better," Drew finally said. "I mean… I appreciate you talking to me."

"Yeah?" Ash barely smiled. "I'm glad."

"Maybe… maybe I could make it up to you by helping you finish the candy?" 

Ash shook their head. "I think it's already done, actually." They paused. "We could all make a different kind of candy together, though. If you're up for it, I mean." 

Drew nodded. "If you want to." 

Ash stood suddenly and motioned for Drew to follow. He stood a little slower than Ash did, but followed them down the hallway to where Ash stood. He watched them rummage through their bag, and it wasn't long before they found what they were looking for. 

Ash revealed a freezer bag filled with many colored beads, and clear string. For the first time that day, Ash was smiling. 

"Let's all make kandi together."

[chasing-classics]

Welcome to the Slaughterhouse (1/3) Miguel x Reader x Angel

Pairing(s): Miguel Galindo x Reader, Reader x Angel Reyes

Warnings: smut, implications of non-consensual sex, dark themes, implications of abusive relationships, infidelity. Miguel is not a good dude in this.

Summary: Being Queen of the cartel isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Especially when the love of your life isn’t your husband but a tall, badass biker with daddy issues. Inspired by Lilly Hollbrook’s song ‘’Welcome to the Slaughterhouse’’ which I totally recommend listening to while reading this. Enjoy and be warned that this is a dark fic so if any of the listed warnings may trigger you, please don’t read further.

PART 2 , PART 3

Locked inside this cage Where all your world's a stage And in this silent rage

Tears stained the silk pillowcase that you were currently pressed against, your hands clenching the matching sheets as your body bounced in rhythm to your husband’s thrusts. You gasped crying out to anyone and no one all at the same time.

‘’Your pussy’s so tight amor, it’s about to take my dick with it,’’ Miguel grunted in your ear, hips pummeling into you as you fought to keep control of your sobs.

‘’M-Miguel please,’’ you whimpered, attempting to make contact even as his large hand pushed your face further into the pillow of your shared bed. The gold wedding ring pressing harshly into your cheek.

‘Close your eyes. Pretend you’re anywhere but here,’ you had to remind yourself.

As if he read your mind, your husband pulled out and two years ago you would’ve sighed with relief at the prospect of this being over. But you were not the same naïve girl from two years ago. You were y/n Galindo, Mrs. Galindo, you were-

‘’My fucking whore,’’ Miguel grunted as he flipped you onto your back and thrusted back into your sore pussy. You flinched as his cock took you again, filling you and then leaving briefly only to return almost deeper with every thrust. You felt his grip on your neck, his wedding ring now pressed so tight against your jugular that you knew it would leave some type of bruise or mark. You closed your eyes, the tears streaming down your face. Would anyone have walked in on the two of you right now, they might’ve just guessed you were a married couple having rough sex. That’s what everyone thought. People believed you were this perfect power couple. Fortunate with  a huge mansion, more money than you could spend, and a gorgeous husband who made love to you every night. How wrong they were.

‘’Tell me who you belong to,’’ Miguel hissed in your ear, cock erratically pounding into your core.

This house was not your house, it was your prison. The money you had was not yours, it was Miguel’s and he used it to either guilt you into staying with him or threatening to use it to find you if you dared to leave. This man who was inside you was not your husband, he was the devil.

 ‘’Y-You,’’ you cried, gasping when you felt his hips jerk and the all-too-familiar warmth of his cum invading your womb.

 As usual Miguel collapsed on top of you and your hands twitched at the sudden desire to push him off. You hated how he remained inside of you after he came. You hated the way he grabbed your jaw and kissed you right after. You hated that you’d have to apply more concealer to cover the bruises on your neck and cheek later on. You were brought out of your catatonic state when one of his strong hands brushed the side of your face.

‘’Go buy a nice dress for the dinner tonight. I’m expecting some very important employees there and I want to show off my beautiful wife.’’

You wanted to punch that sly smirk off his face, but you offered the tiniest smile you could muster as you felt his manhood begin to soften inside you.

‘’I need to get my car looked over, but I’ll be sure to go shopping right after.’’

‘Please please don’t suspect anything,’ you prayed to any God that was willing to listen. After a few seconds of staring you down and that dreadful silence that you’ve come to fear more than his roaring outbursts, Miguel offered you one of his classic fake grins. The kind he put on for government officials, children, or anyone who he thought saw past the glamorous appearances and saw him for the serpent he was.

‘’Alright, hurry back, you know how I get when you’re gone for too long.’’

Whether it was a statement or a threat, you truly didn’t know.

Locked inside this cage Where all your world's a stage And in this silent rage

You were thankful that Miguel had simply installed a tracking device on your car rather than having Nestor drive you everywhere. It had taken a lot of begging, in various forms, to have been granted the simple freedom of driving yourself in your own car. You drove around Santo Padre for a few minutes, eyes sharp to see if you were being followed. Thankfully, Miguel had taken most of the security and set them up around the house in preparation for tonight’s lavish dinner. Pulling into the familiar parking garage, you waited. You soon became lost in the thoughts of what might’ve been, you coming here to drop off lunches or for a late night drive on the back of his bike.

‘’There’s my girl,’’ your eyes closed momentarily and the most genuine smile appeared on your face before you turned and stared into his perfect chocolate brown eyes.

‘’My Angel,’’ you whispered, leaning into kiss him through your front window before stepping out of the car.

Once upon a time, there was this girl who came from absolute nothingness. Her father was absent all her life and her mother turned to alcohol to cope with being a single parent. Then this sad, lonely girl ran into a prince one day on her way to grab meat from the butcher shop near your house. It had been love at first sight. The prince was tall and goofy, his smile could light up an entire city. And over time they confided their deepest darkest secrets to each other, falling more and more in love as the days went by. But everything changed when the prince’s mother was killed and his younger brother was sent to prison, leaving the prince to fend for himself until he joined the Mayans. Soon, it was the princess who was all alone again. Her prince was too absorbed in this exciting new lifestyle and mourning the loss of his mother and brother that he didn’t notice his princess slipping further and further away. As for the princess, she went off to college where she met another prince. He was everything she had read about in the fairytales she’d read as a child. Charming, handsome, tall. Soon the princess and the new prince got married, only for her to realize too late that this prince was actually a vicious wolf in sheep’s clothing. And now here you were.

If I could let these thoughts drown Then someday she might lose her crown In time these chains that hold me down would set me free

You clutched Angel’s shoulders, your bodies moving in unison with each other. His large hands were gripping your ass, propelling you up and down on his thick member repeatedly. Your moans and whines filled the small RV. The bed creaked and groaned with every snap of Angel’s hips as you sunk your teeth into his shoulder.

‘’I fucking love you y/n.’’

Tears of absolute ecstasy rolled down your cheeks, your pussy clenching around him as you neared your release. Angel shoved you down onto his cock and bucked his hips upwards as he climaxed inside of you, dick pulsing as spurts of cum filled you to your core. You shook as your orgasm arrived shortly after, holding onto Angel as he rubbed your back and talked you through your climax.

‘’It’s alright princessa, I’ve got you, I’ve got you,’’ his deep, masculine voice made you shiver.

‘’I love you Angel,’’ you whispered into his chest as you remained in his lap, wanting to stay connected to him until the world burned up in flames. You could feel him smile as he ran his long fingers through your slightly messed up hair, one of his hands still cupping your ass and teasingly squeezing you every now and then.

‘’Let’s just leave. We can leave and never look back.’’ You sighed, knowing where this conversation was going to go as you both pulled back to look into each other’s eyes.

‘’You know that there’s nowhere I could go where he won’t find me.’’

‘’Then let me put a bullet in his head,’’ you scoffed at Angel’s plan.

‘’I’m serious y/n! I’ll go over right now and do it. I’d do anything so you won’t have to spend another night with this,’’ Angel’s voice rose as his index finger lightly traced over the bruise on your neck from Miguel’s hands from this morning. You willed yourself to look up at Angel, his hair falling slightly in his eyes and forehead lightly glistening with sweat from making love to you.

‘’I can’t let you die for me,’’ you whimpered, pressing your forehead against his as you stroked his muscular, tattooed covered chest.

‘’That doesn’t mean you have to die because of him,’’ he retorted, his voice soft now but you could still see the rage and hatred in his eyes as thoughts of Miguel crossed his mind.

You both sighed, aware that your time was running short and you still needed to pick up a dress.

‘’Will you be there tonight?’’ you asked as you slipped your clothes on one piece at a time. You couldn’t help but stare at Angel’s muscles as he zipped his jeans back up, eyes lingering a little longer on his groin. He smirked when he caught you staring, taking his time to put his shirt and vest back on.

‘’Wouldn’t miss the chance of seeing you next to him with my cum still inside you.’’

  And in this slaughterhouse Is there no way out of here They feed the fears and hide the griefs of burdened beasts Cause kings and queens won't even dream of peace

 The deep red dress complimented your skin color well, coupled with a necklace to hide the marks on your neck. You winced as you walked down the stairwell, your body more than a little sore from both this afternoon and this morning. As usual, Miguel was waiting down the staircase to escort you to the dining area. Just before you could reach the bottom step, the doorway was opened to reveal the Reyes brothers, dressed in their best formal attire. It took everything in you to stop your jaw from falling as you looked at Angel in his black suit. The same could be said for him, his eyes looking up and down your figure. You were everything he had ever wanted, and he wanted nothing more than to grab you by the hand and leave this place behind.

‘’Ah, the Reyes brothers, please come in. I don’t believe you’ve met my wife, y/n Galindo,’’ Miguel smiled, his eyes never leaving Angel’s even for a minute. EZ shook your hand, internally praying that his brother didn’t do something that would blow his and yours’ cover. When it came time to shake Angel’s hand, he brought his lips to your knuckles, the action not lost on your husband. Miguel quickly recovered, plastering on that infamous fake grin of his that showed off his impossibly perfect teeth.

‘’Why don’t we join the others for dinner, shall we?’’

You all nodded, looping your arm through your husband’s and forcing yourself not to make too much eye contact with the man you loved. The others had already been waiting in the large dining room, everyone taking your seats. As Angel moved to sit next to Ezekiel across from you, Miguel rose his hand.

‘’No Angel, please. Why don’t you sit by my wife,’’ Miguel smiled.

You both visibly froze, meeting each other’s eyes for a nanosecond. Angel just returned the faux smile and sat down next to you.

‘’Excellent.’’

Your husband then took his seat at the head of the table, to your left. After making small talk with Bishop and the other men, Miguel seemed to be acting normal and you soon began to relax as well. Until you felt his hand on your inner thigh. Your eyes flickered to his momentarily as he just smiled back at you. His hand crept up your thigh higher, causing you to press your legs together out of pure instinct. You were afraid  you had upset Miguel  when he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear.

‘’You’ll open your legs to my half-brother but not your own husband?’’

Don't look back and don't look down You'll fall into that wishing well

If I could let these thoughts drown And someday she might lose her crown In time these chains that hold me down would set me free

[embretheworld]

Dear Cole(Dear Theodosia Reprise)

As you can tell, based off the song from Hamilton called Dear Theodosia reprise.

.

He knew something was wrong the moment his father woke him up that morning. That specific morning was frigid and still, it's usual warmth swamped out by an eerily tense morning. His father woke him up this early morning asking him to see him and venturing off to the living room. Slowly but surely he got up out of bed, being extra careful to be as quiet as possible as not to wake his mother but that didn't stop him from peeking into her and dad's room. He opened the door a smidge, looking to see his mother's body softly illuminated by the morning light, she looked peaceful, better even.

A genuine smile grew on his face, it had been a while since his smile was actually genuine, she was going to get better.

"What's going on dad?" He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes from one hand and held onto the wooden frame with the other; feeling the solid cold oak underneath his fingers. His father was faced away from him, silent, too silent. That meant something happened, and he hoped it was what he thought it was.

"Is it mom?" Hopefulness leaked from his voice, "She's gotten better, right? She looked better," She had to! She couldn't get worse, his mom was strong, just as strong as him. She as the Earth Ninja after all, they were known to be strong!

"Dad?..." A deafening silence filled the room.

"Dad what's wrong?!" With a wavering voice, he raced towards his father tightly gripped at the back of his father's clothes, the back of his eyes starting to burn. Why wasn't he talking to him? Had he done something wrong? Was something wrong with his mother? Had she possibly gotten even worse?

With a heavy heart, Lou turned to face his son not bothering to wipe the tears that kept falling, Cole backed up slightly letting go of his father's clothes and tilted his head, staring at him innocently, unaware of what had happened. Lou wishes he could still keep that innocence.

"Dear Cole, how to say to you," Tears fell from his face resulting in his son's face welling up in worry, as he gripped his father's shirt, pulling on it slightly as he spewed out words and Lou could barely even recognize what he was saying. He could barely even recognize what he was saying anymore, did it really matter? In the end, he'd find out.

"Sometime last night your mother breathed your name, and like a flame that flickers out too soon..." He took in a deep breath, memories flooding back to him like a tsunami. How oddly quiet it was this morning, how deafening it was this morning, how horrible it was this morning, how horrible this day was.

"She died,"

The boy's eye's filled to the brim with tears, something tearing into his heart with a relentless force; his chest felt heavier than it usually did. He felt hopeless like his world had crashed down and now it was burning. His frame was shaking like a leaf, she couldn't have left him like that, that wasn't fair... That wasn't fair!

"She's gone-" Lou let out a loud sob, choking on his words as he finally had to accept that his wife was finally gone. He'd never hear her voice again, get to see her eyes or smile, and worst of all his son would grow up barely even knowing his own mother. She'll never see him grow, but he'd make sure that he never was alone.

With a shaky breath, he bent down and embraced Cole in a tight hug which the boy returned, quietly sobbing in his father's shirt.

"She dedicated every day to you, she changed my life, she made my life worthwhile. And when you smile," It'd look so much like your mothers, the way she'd smile over the tiniest and silliest of things. How she had a heart so big, how no matter who it was she made room for them, even those she once had fought with she accepted them, of course, you'd have a heart like her's. You'd be so much like her that the resemblance was uncanny sometimes, and sure, it'd be painful sometimes but he could manage after all...

"I know a part of her lives on, I know I can go on," She'd want us too, after all, even how hard it is to accept the loss. How hard it is to cope with losing someone you've known, someone you might not even remember it's hard, it's hard to move on but you just have to try. Try not to blame yourself for something you could have never had control because no matter what you could did, it'd always end up like this.

"You have come of age with our young nation, we bleed and fight for you..." He hiccuped slight, memories of days Lilly would come back patched up after a particularly hard fight. How she had to leave for a War for a year or so only to come back to a son that barely remembered her and yet again they'd build themselves up from there. How much she bleed and fought for them, to keep them both safe from those who'd try and hurt them again and again. Times they'd have to momentarily move because they were in danger, stripping Cole of his childhood temporarily move by move.

"Sometimes it seems that's all we do," So many fights, so many times she'd be called in the middle of lunch or dinner to save someone or someone's life. Although he loved her, how she was selfless but sometimes that was a problem especially since she loved to give back to much, and barely take anything in return. It broke it his heart when he was asked by Cole about when his mom would come back, it hurt him slowly but surely. He knew she wasn't trying to hurt him, but sometimes he wished she wasn't so selfless.

"And you and I will build a strong foundation," I'll teach you everything I know, I'll teach you everything she couldn't teach you, I'll make you the best you can be, and I'll tell you all the stories she couldn't tell you. I'll make sure you know that you're loved and that you'll never have to ask when I'm coming home, I'll make sure you're never alone again.

"And I'll be here for you," No matter what you think and what you want to do. I promise that I'll be here for you, in these tough times, and in every fight and thing you go through I'll be here beside you. I'll make sure we get through this together no matter how much you want to give up like I do, I won't let my son become an orphan too. Hugging him a little tighter, he let those tears he was holding back fall.

"The way is clear for you to blow us all away..." Sure, Cole took after Lilly is so many ways but so did he take after him, and when it came to Cole he always was able to blow them all away. He'd always blow them all away.

-line break-

Cole shook his head, shaking away those old memories, he wiped away his tears a shaky smile on his face. He got up on his feet, placing the bouquet of flowers he had grown for her on her grave. He took one last moment to pay his respect before he left, sparing one last glance at the grave before he left for good, unknowingly being watched by a certain someone

His mother- now a ghost- leaned on her grave and smiled at him, although unseeable to him, he'd never been unseeable to her.

Someday, someday, yeah you'll blown us all away

Her smile grew even softer. You've blown me away, I knew you'd blow me away

A/N: Yell at me in the tags and tell me what you think! Don't be shy I don't bite!

[agent-ccarter]

mischief / James potter

Request: hi! It’s me agaaaain! Could I get a James Potter x reader? The reader and James are childhood best friends and they develop feelings for each other? Also, prompt #38? Thank you again for the fantastic imagines ! :) xx

for @hahaboop​ (sorry it took so long!!!)

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Warnings: none

A/N: I reallly love writing for Marauders Era! But, this has been half written in my drafts for a while, so apologies for the weird halloween time setting!!😂 also, I realise mischevious night isn't a thing everywhere, so, for context, where I'm from its on Novemeber 4th, and kids use it as an excuse to wreak havoc on houses, like throwing eggs at windows and toilet paper. I know none of the marauders are northern, but, lets be honest, if they heard of it they would eat it up!

Enjoy!!

“Merlin, Y/N! It’s exasperating!” Lily said, almost pulling her red hair out of her skull. The Great Hall was full of students devouring various breakfast foods before their morning lessons.

“That’s a big word for a Monday morning, Lily.” You muttered, earning a swift shove from your good friend.

“But it is! All he talks about is this girl, how beautiful and gorgeous and funny she is when we are checking the halls or going to meetings. It’s driving me insane! Why did he have to be head boy?”

You wanted to start on telling her it’s completely her fault, that she shouldn’t have applied for head girl, but she just continued on, “And to make matters worse, he won’t even tell me who she is! I just want to know who the mysterious girl is!” 

“Well I don’t,” you shrug, “and if you wouldn’t mind stopping screaming in my ear, that would be great.” You smiled, finding her anger at the situation rather amusing. Sure, you wanted to know who it was, but you could never admit that to Lily, who was sure that you had been in love for James for years.

“You cannot tell me you aren’t even the teeniest bit curious?”

“No Lily, I do not care whose pants James Potter wants to get in.” 

You swiftly pulled open the wax seal on the small envelope your parents had sent yesterday and had forgotten about in the deep pockets of your cloak, the card inside jumping out and shaping itself into a floating orange pumpkin.

“Ohhh, trust me, you really do.” You heard the laughing, arrogant voice of one Sirius Black behind you, yet, to your surprise, James wasn’t with him. You merely scowled at him and told him to bugger off as you took a seat at one of four long tables, the house to which it belonged not particularly bothering you. 

Of course, it wasn’t long before the other three boys arrived, Marlene in tow, her clunky boots thundering on the hard floor. James walked behind and attempted to give you an affectionate hug over your shoulders, but instead came across more as a bit of a choke-hold. Sirius, ever desperate for attention, pouted as James did so, earning a strangling for him too, granted it was much harder

The Great Hall was completely decked out for Halloween, pumpkins and candles everywhere you looked; which, of course, had the group of friends discussing their plans for the holiday, and in turn, the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade. Remus saw the newer tradition of giving out sweets as a great opportunity to gain lots and lots of chocolate without gaining too much attention, whilst the group of boys as a whole were looking forward far more to Mischevious Night; an excuse to cause even more havoc than they do usually.

Halloween quickly arrived, but celebrating was the least of your worries as mock exams were coming up and to say you were stressed was an understatement. On top of that, you couldn't bare the thought of hearing James go on and on about this girl he fancies.

“Come on, Y/N, can't you have one night off?” Lily whined, trying to hold you back with her full body weight as you tried to make your way to the library, your workbooks held in your left arm. 

You stopped dead.

“Who are you and what have you done to Lily Evans?” She punched you in the arm playfully before grabbing your arm back when you tried to leave again.

“Shut up, it won't be the same without you there,” she pouted, her childish act earning stares from the other students, “and I can't cope with James alone.”

You scoffed, “You won't be alone, you'll have Mar, and Sirius, and Remus, and-”

“But he shuts up when you're there. Please, Y/N.” 

You paused to think. Yes, you could spend the evening in the library, hidden away in mountains of books. But you knew that as soon as anyone asked where you were, Lily would open her mouth and your quiet evening would be ruined. 

“Fine, I’ll come.”

“Thankyou!!” She shouted, hugging you. Before you knew it, a mound of curly hair was running towards you and wrapping their arms around too.”

“Sirius!” you shouted through the mountain of hair, “your-ow-your’e squishing me!”

“Sorry,” he pulled back, “why are we hugging?”

“Y/N is coming with us tonight.”

Sirius didn't reply, but just smirked mischievously.

“What’s that look, Sirius Black? I don't like it.” You pouted, confused.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, Y/N,” he smiled, ruffling your hair, “This will be fun.”

-------------

“This is not my idea of fun.” You sighed, looking at the mountain of pranking supplies in front of you.

“Besides, michevious night isn't until tommorow.” Lily sighed, plopping down onto the sofa of the Gryffindor common room.

“This is your fault, Lil. I could be sat in the Library right now!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but-”

“Now now ladies. Stop fighting, we only have a very short amount of time-”

“Shut up Sirius.” Remus muttered from behind his book, earning a handful of pepper imps to the head and yelping “Ow”.

“This is the most important night of the year,” James dramatically shouted, standing at the other side of the table, “so choose you're weapons wisely.”

James started rooting through the pile, picking out fireworks and dung bombs, whilst Peter opted for small, less potentially lethal items that could still cause some damage.

“We need to split off,” Sirius said, rubbing at an imaginary beard and reaching his conclusion far too quickly, “Y/n and James should go together so you don't back out, Remus and Lilly, and me, Marlene and Peter. Sorted. Let’s go and corrupt the school!” 

“Come on,” James picked up a handful of items and plopped them into your hand before grabbing your other one and almost pulling the arm out of its socket. You managed to make it out side the castle in seemingly record time, and before you knew it, James was throwing things at the whomping willow. 

“James,” you said, looking back into the castle for potential onlookers, “this doesn't seem, maybe we should -”

“Come on, Y/N, it’s FUN.” He grabbed your hand once more, before pulling your wand out of your pocket and handing you a roll of toilet paper. You looked between the boy and the roll a few times before muttering a “screw it” and firing it at the tree. James shouted and laughed, but his voice turned into concern quickly; unfortunately, it wasn't quick enough. Before you knew it, a branch had grabbed your waist and you were flying through the air.

“Y/N! IT’S GOT YOU!”

“I KNOW, GENIUS! GET ME DOWN!”

You were being tossed around for what felt like forever before James finally muttered a spell you couldn't hear and you collapsed onto him.

“owwww.” He groaned.

“Are you ok?” 

“You just got catapulted by a moving tree and you're asking if I'm ok?”

“I could kiss you right now.” You said, grateful that he'd basically just saved your life. You didn't expect him to lean up and press his lips to yours. He pulled back quickly, going to apologise before you stopped him by kissing him once more. The two of you settled into it before being startled by a loud bang: a large red light shone in the sky, shaped like a love heart as you heard a whoop from Sirius, and saw a look of complete and utter shock on the face of Lily.