#not experiencing a period for 4+ years … fine dandy

[lovecom]

the downside to taking birth control to regulate your cycle is in-fact, the regulated cycle

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 4

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader , Stray Kids x Fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 Notes; This is an ABO!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; abo!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, female!reader, poly!pack dynamics, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

Time moved agonizingly slow after you had left. Seungmin’s mind blurred from the second you stormed out that door as Minho got in his face, shouting about his poor behavior and repeating the points you had made before only much harsher than your words had been.

Eventually Han stood and pulled the older alpha back, attempting to calm him down while Chan simply stared at the beta with disappointment and anger laced in his eyes.

The pack alpha stayed quiet, afraid to speak or else he’d say something out of anger that he would regret. No one really felt like partying after that and so slowly everyone began cleaning up while Seungmin stood still, hand still cupping his cheek where your hand had fiercely made contact what felt like both mere seconds and also a century ago.

Once everyone was back at the dorm it’s like his brain turned back on, triggered by your scent or the lack thereof in the apartment. He had assumed you would have returned here after you left, no where else for you to go this late in the evening with you not knowing many people in the city and currently living in their spare room it made sense to him that this is the only spot you would be.

Coming back to find you not here caused panic to course through the beta as his instincts were on edge. Trying to think rationally, he told himself you had just put your scent blockers on though his worry caused him to move quickly to the room you had been staying in and fling it open without even stopping to knock.

With eyes wide and his heart rate picking up exponentially, Seungmin ran back to the entryway where the other members were still in the process of taking off their shoes and jackets. “She’s gone- all of her stuff is gone her scent is gone she’s-“ his tone was frantic, heart feeling like it would beat out of his chest from the anxiety.

Minho scoffed, rolling his eyes. “So now you care?” He growled, glaring down the second youngest before pushing past him. “She’s fine, by the way. So calm down before you burst a blood vessel. Though maybe you deserve to-“ The second oldest called out to him as he made his way to his room and slammed the door.

“What does he mean she’s fine?” Seungmin asked, eyes falling on the remaining six members who looked equally as unworried as Minho had been. Chan sighed, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t tell you….but I think you owe her an apology so I will-“ the pack alpha stepped up to the beta and held out his phone to him, a text message open on the screen.

Seungmin looked from the phone to Chan before snatching it from him, eyes quickly scanning over the text there. It was a message from you, in a chat room with the two oldest alpha’s, letting them know that you were grateful for them being so welcoming but that you couldn’t stay anymore and that you got yourself a hotel room near by. “Fuck…” the beta mumbled under his breath, his scent souring as he realized just how badly he had screwed up.

He was confused, still not able to understand why he felt so horrible that you were gone. This is what he wanted, wasn’t it? He didn’t want you here in the first place. You were a problem his parents dumped on him last minute, an inconvenience and an annoyance just as you were in your youth. Still, something didn’t sit right in his gut ever since you first arrived.

Seungmin knew he had been an ass, everything you and Minho had said to him and called him couldn’t be more true and it weighed heavily in his chest, squeezing it tight and even tighter when he remembered the look of your crying face before you ran off not once but twice. Once full of hurt and the other anger.

The beta knew he had to make things right, and so he grabbed his jacket and slipped his shoes back on. “Where are you going?” Changbin questioned, raising an eyebrow at Seungmin as he lounged on the couch. “To find Bunny-“ he said as if it was the most simple thing in the world. “Pup, you don’t know what hotel she’s at..” Chan cautioned him, hoping to bring some sense to the younger.

“I know.” Was all he said, pulling on his coat and making sure his phone was in his pocket. “So what’s your game plan?” Felix questioned with amusement as he sat beside the other alpha on the couch. “I’m gonna go to every hotel within walking distance of here and ask if they’ve seen her and then if they have get them to call her room and beg her to see me.”

This admittance caused the two alphas on the couch to burst into laughter while Chan simply stood at watched the beta with a fond look. “That’s the puppy I know, glad to have you back.” He said with a pat to the younger’s shoulder before retreating to his room, albeit a little worried about Seungmin venturing into the city this late alone he knew that it would be best for it to be just the two of you to talk things out. That is, if he was able to find you.

With his luck it seemed like he would never find you, if it wasn’t for someone taking pity on him. “He was at his fourth hotel within walking distance when he got a text from Minho with simply an address and room number. The alpha may be upset with him but he didn’t want the beta to be out this late alone and after calling to check on you he had explained how Seungmin was out looking for you to apologize, how he had reacted once they returned to the dorm, and after thinking it over you agreed to let him send the beta your location.

Seungmin could have started crying tears of relief when he finally knew where you were, sending a quick thank you text to his hyung before catching a cab as the hotel was a bit farther than he had anticipated you going.

Once at the hotel he felt like nothing could go fast enough to bring him to your door, to see for himself that you were here. The elevator ride felt like it took an eternity but once on your floor it was a mad dash for the room number he was given. As he finally made it in front of the generic wooden hotel door he took a deep breath, frowning as he couldn’t smell the sweet citrus that had been plaguing his mind for the past few days.

Hesitantly he raised a fist and gave a quick knock to the door, he didn’t have to wait long before it opened to reveal you standing in front of him. Your eyes looked puffy, cheeks rosy from your tears. You were dressed in sweatpants and a baggy hoodie, sleeves so long they covered up to the tips of your fingers where your arm rested at your side, your other hand holding the door open.

At the sight of him, you crossed your arms over your chest and held the door open with one foot. “Did you really come here to apologize or are you going to continue to be an asshole?” You said, a bite to your words causing a bitter feeling to settle in his stomach. Eyes drifted to your scent glands and he caught a glimpse of the scent blockers you had applied, holding back a whine as he subconsciously pushed out more of his own fresh scent to drape over you.

Seungmin nodded, soft brown eyes locking with yours as he took a deep breath before beginning. “Yes, I am…I- god Bunny I don’t…..” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “This doesn’t sound like an apology.” You teased, only getting mild enjoyment out of his apparent struggle with what to say. “I was an asshole, really. Everything you said about me is true and- I don’t know what is wrong with me.” You watched as a look of anguish washed over his features and took pity on him, arms dropping to your sides before you stepped back into the room while holding the door open wider for him. “Come, sit down and let’s figure this out then.”

The two of you sat on the bed in your small hotel room, facing each other as you thought of where to start. “I’m sorry for all the things I said to you, for saying you were a problem and that I didn’t want you at the dorms.” He began, eyes cast down to his lap as he picked nervously at the pillow he held there. “And I’m even more sorry for the awful things I said to you regarding your sub gender- that was such bullshit I don’t even believe I just….” He looked up, sniffling a bit as your tearful face came into his memory again. “I wanted to hurt you, to get a reaction and I don’t know why-“

You nodded a bit, taking a deep breath to speak up but he continued before you got the chance. “I mean I kind of know why, now- when we were kids you were always so loud and kind of aggressive towards the other kids at choir, I assumed you would still be like that…”

You huffed a bit, rolling your eyes. “Really? Is that why Minho said you thought I was an alpha?” You asked, arms crossed over your chest once more. “H-He told you about that, huh?” You nodded, eyes narrowed on him slightly. “Yup.” Came your response, putting emphasis and popping the P at the end.

The beta rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, unable to meet your gaze again. “I did, yeah- I know that’s so stereotypical but I was a kid and it just sort of stuck with me the whole time….and you used to hang around me so much I couldn’t make any other friends and I guess I’ve always sort of resented you for it…even now-“ This caused you to sit up, hands falling to your lap as shock took over your face.

“You- you thought that I was the reason no one else wanted to be around you….” You said, just barely above a whisper. Seungmin took a deep breath before nodding, picking harder at the pillow anxiously. “I know it’s silly especially now but- I shouldn’t have held that against you so hard….it’s not like you had any other friends either-“ You winced at that, but tried to hold back an awkward chuckle from escaping. “Ouch- got me there Minnie. I mean Seungmin- sorry…” you corrected yourself, remembering he had asked you not to call him that. Well- more-so told you not to rudely but the boundary still stood regardless. “No no it’s fine…I um- I actually like hearing you call me that….now-“

Nodding in response, you took another deep breath before you spoke up. “Seungmin- I’m sorry you felt like I was some burden when we were kids, and that I was holding you back or something but- god….but that wasn’t what was going on.” Seungmin raised an eyebrow, eyes shooting up to meet yours, his filled with confusion. “What- do you mean that wasn’t what was going on?”

You sighed, shaking your head. “Minnie….when you first came to choir, everyone thought you were an omega, or well destined to be one….cause- well same reasons you were so sure I’d be an alpha.” You explained, struggling to find the words slightly to make it come off easier than it was. “You were smaller than most of the other boys in our age group….and you were so soft and sweet- so that first day I overheard the boys saying some awfully hurtful things about you.”

Seungmin shook his head, not believing your words. “No- that can’t be right…why would they-“ you closed your eyes tightly, shaking your head at him. “People are horrible, that’s why. Why did you say those things to me even if you didn’t really believe them, hm?” You countered, no real venom in your words just a stern tone that let him know you weren’t bullshitting him, that this was the truth.

“Anyways- when I heard them talking about you like that I got so…so angry.” Your fists clenched in your lap subconsciously at the memory. “So I didn’t hold back.” His eyes flew to yours once more, wide as saucers and mouth slightly agape. “That-“ You nodded, sighing again as you relaxed your fists realizing how you had balled them up without knowing. “That’s the day I got in trouble for breaking that kids nose. He was saying some derogatory shit about omegas and about you and I wasn’t gonna let it slide.”

The beta stared at you in shock, blinking a few times before finally speaking up. “You beat a kid up for me….” He sounded like he was in disbelief, shaking his head a bit before a laugh escaped. “I just- can’t believe that’s what it was…” You let out a laugh as well, glad he wasn’t upset with you as he had seemed to be before. “And after that I sorta just….attached myself to you. Everyone still thought those awful things about you, and now they thought even worse of me…so I figured we could both use a friend. Plus, they wouldn’t try and say anything mean to you if I was around and if they did….well they knew what was coming if they did.” You shrugged, giving him a soft, shy smile that caused his brain to malfunction slightly.

Seungmin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m still really sorry about how I treated you since you got here….you didn’t deserve it before but now you reeaallyy didn’t deserve it- god I’m such an ass.” You shook your head, reaching for his hands and bringing them into your own. “We’re an ass, now you have the chance to be better. Yeah?” He nodded, returning the smile and giving your hands a gentle squeeze. “I’d like to….I wanna make it up to you. Will you- um….are you gonna come back to the dorm now?” He asked hesitantly, puppy eyes hopeful as they beamed into your own.

You sighed, thinking for a moment before shaking your head. “Not- no….I think I’m gonna stay here while I look for a place to live…I don’t think it will take me long, I can always move into the teachers dorms once one comes available.” This caused his heart to sink, feeling uneasy at the thought of you being away after having you so close especially knowing he’s what pushed you away. “Okay…that’s- that’s fair.”

The two of you sat like that for what felt like hours, though only minutes passed before the beta spoke up softly. “Bunny…can you um…god this is ridiculous to ask especially considering how I’ve been treating you but-“ he groaned, struggling to get the words out. “Minnie?” You questioned, eyes looking up into his with a softness that made him feel like he could melt. “Can we scent before I go back?”

Taken aback by the request, you only stared at him blinking for a moment before nodding hesitantly. “Um- okay yeah….I don’t see why not?” Trying not to seem too eager, the beta slowly reached up to pick at the blockers you wore, gently pealing them away and causing the room to be flooded by the sweet smell of citrus, like candied orange and lemon as they filled his senses. Seungmin took a deep breath before carefully moving closer.

He hovered close to you, still not making a move for any contact which caused you to giggle a bit. “Minnie just-“ he looked at you confused, and you laughed more before practically crawling into his lap. “I know it’s been a long time…but we aren’t complete strangers, ya know.” You teased, nuzzling into the crook of his neck until the smell of fresh warm laundry enveloped you, mixing with your scent and causing the room to smell like a fresh summer day.

You stayed like that for a while, cuddled together in the middle of the bed with you in his lap and his arms wrapped tightly around you as if you’d somehow disappear. “I’m sorry I took your friendship for granted when we were kids….you deserved a better friend than me-“ he said just above a whisper, and you could tell there were tears brimming in his eyes just from the sound of his voice. “Oh Minnie….you don’t know it but you were a good friend to me then- so much more than you know it….it’s why I defended you so fiercely.”

You began to feel warm tears hit the top of your head but you said nothing, only clung to him tighter and pushed more of your scent out to comfort him while the two of you sat in a comfortable silence.

author’s note: yay no more mean Minnie!!~~ I hope this didn’t seem to rushed I did not read this over or have it read over for me I’m just so eager to get it out~~ I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while now!! I hope it translated well from my brain to words- ૮꒰ “ . . ꒱ა

taglist; @coastinglove @skzswife @maisyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @doitforbangchan @chartrucewhore

[watchilove]

In the 1960s, the world began to move. Young people set fashion trends that were eagerly taken up by designers. The colourful happenings in London’s Carnaby Street saw the debut of a new dandyism whose followers wore super-slim ties, perfectly fitted suits, had razor-sharp hairstyles and danced to a soundtrack of popular beat music. Outfits were as original, classy and cool as possible. And it’s precisely this refined style and enthusiasm for handmade one-of-a-kind pieces that the Sixties Chronograph Annual Edition 2021 brings to life. Highly desirable and limited in time The new chronograph is made by our experienced watchmakers in Glashütte with the same care and attention to detail as an individually designed tailor-made suit. The round, 42-mm stainless steel case leads the eye to an elaborately finished, handmade retro dial. The exceptional dégradé effect travels from a bright green at the centre to a darker shade at the edge. The dial also features a finely textured surface made using the original tools and methods of the time. Two white Arabic numerals are enhanced by incised hour markers with luminous dots. The watch is worn with a soft, grey-brown nubuck calfskin strap. Custom-tailored precision The 39-34 automatic movement within the watch delivers the right rhythm. It drives the display of hour and minute and the small second, the second stop and the chronograph’s 30-minute counter reliably and with great precision. The manufactory movement beats at 4 Hz, and its individual components are delicately enhanced by hand – with the Glashütte stripes finish, for example, bevelled edges and polished screws. The skeletonised rotor features an oscillating mass in 21-carat gold and is adorned with the characteristic double-G logo. All of these refined details can be admired through the sapphire crystal case back. The Sixties Chronograph Annual Edition celebrates the lifestyle of the sixties and the return of the elegant dandy. The timepiece is available from Glashütte Original Boutiques and from selected dealers worldwide for a limited period of one year. https://www.instagram.com/p/CQlsAlCLU-b/?utm_medium=tumblr

[healthymov]

10 Fast Weight Loss Tips if You Weigh 200 lbs or More

These fast weight loss tips if you weigh 200 lbs are perfect for you if you are feeling like you’ve tried everything under the sun and still can’t reduce. Gut health, exercise, carbohydrate intake, then many other factors are likely at play here.

Read below and see if any of the subsequent resonates with you…

Do you desire you’ve tried every weight loss scheme under the sun?

That regardless of what crazy diet you are trying nothing seems to stick?

You watch helplessly because the scale slowly creeps up higher and better while feeling totally out of control and powerless… you recognize you desperately want to reduce, be thin and free, but regardless of what you are doing, it just doesn’t work.

That’s because weight loss isn't a game of numbers. It’s emotional.

It’s much deeper than data or calories.

If you truly reflect thereon long enough, it could likely bring tears to your eyes.

But let’s reflect on something else instead…

Where you're going.

Take a second, right now, to pause and deeply imagine where you'll be 1 year from now with the proper plan in place.

What will your body look like?

How light will you are feeling on your feet?

Most importantly, how differently would you be feeling about yourself and the way differently you'd live your life?

The truth is, you’ve got so much a lot left to measure for then far more of life to experience.

If you can lock-in, focus, and be present for this text, we are getting to do absolutely the best we will to assist you to slay this weight loss dragon.

We’ve now walked hand in hand with thousands of clients through this process of losing weight at 200 pounds or more.

Beautiful women like Shawna, Cory, Alison, and thousands of others have completely touched our lives and even brought us to pools of tears with their stories.

Now, it’s your turn…

10 Fast Weight Loss Tips if You Weight 200 Pounds or More

1 - You’re a snowflake.

A successful weight loss journey goes to vary for you than some 20-something…

Talk about obvious statements right?

And it’s the capital T Truth.

We’re shocked by what percentage women are placed on some fast weight loss protocol designed for a college-age girl looking to lose her last 5 pounds…

Instead of that, you would like a program and lifestyle designed for YOU!

2 - STOP pounding the pavement and exercising!

While every weight loss program on the earth is telling you to travel running, do many jumping, and perform crazy intense exercises, we’re just sitting here shaking our heads.

Exercising at this weight will unnecessarily stress your joints, cause cravings, and is just too much of a risk. Besides, our clients reduce without doing ANY of that.

This is because exercise plays such a minuscule role for weight loss…

In fact, a recent study done by Current Biology took 322 adults from 5 different countries through a calorie reduction weight loss program. They split the groups between people who did exercise and people that didn't.

Shockingly enough, adding in exercise didn't play ANY major role over calories burned or weight lost. And for people who saw changes, they were minor at the best.

Your focus must get on your diet, not on some new “P90ExtremeJumpingFactor” program.

Before a number of you freak out… We like to exercise and believe that it's INCREDIBLY healthy and necessary for long-term health.

3 - Do not neglect the emotional aspect of weight loss.

Binge eating and emotional eating are things most of our clients have experienced and suffered greatly from.

In fact, Dr. Michael Mantell from Greatist.com found that there have been 5 main negative emotional factors that cause binge and emotional eating:

Stress

Anxiety

Depression

Dopamine (searching out rewards from boredom)

Community Peer Pressure

Tackling these is crucial to fast weight loss success.

You need to tackle the emotional aspect of this with a strong support group or community of individuals you'll trust.

Do whatever it takes to urge with a community that will help. It’s that important.

This is a key part of our fast weight loss program, for this very reason. Because IT WORKS.

Next abreast of our list of fast weight loss tips if you weigh 200 lbs or more is…

4 - You are likely very insulin resistant (detox needed).

Listen, we don’t hate carbohydrates.

They are fine and dandy.

The problem is that if you’re 200 pounds or more, you likely have tons of insulin resistance (90% of the time).

This makes every carbohydrate you eat wildly ineffective at providing the energy you'll use and stick with your body like glue.

It can also cause metabolic resistance, pre-diabetes, or diabetes.

You need to try to to a carbohydrate DETOX.

Cut out carbohydrates for a month-long period at a bare minimum.

You can reintroduce them later when the body repairs itself and your hormones level out. The body needs an opportunity from excessive consumption to reset and detox.

5 - You’re likely leptin resistant.

Leptin is that the hormone designed to send the brain these two important messages:

I’m full and have had enough to eat I’ve got some extra calories to burn, let’s go exercise! Many of you'll be thinking: Where has this hormone been??!!

The truth is, leptin is getting blocked thanks to the insulin resistance you've got.

This is why once you specialize in diet first, exercise will are available later very naturally to your life when your leptin is functioning properly again.

Cutting down on carbohydrates and eating many lean protein and veggies will help level your leptin.

6 - Heal your leaky and inflamed gut.

Gut inflammation is probably going an underlying issue if you weigh 200 lbs or more.

The annoying part of this is often that if you've got a leaky gut, the body isn’t processing properly the foods you eat (even the great ones!).

The good news? Healing the alimentary canal is straightforward.

First, you eliminate foods that hurt your gut health (sugars, flour, processed foods). Then you consume probiotics to exchange the heal the gut.

Consume many apple vinegars and confirm to require an honest probiotics supplement to try to do this!

7 - Walking is SO underrated!

Walking is surprisingly effective for weight loss.

It improves fat burning. – Because walking isn't intense like jogging, you won’t read glycogen stores, and you'll primarily burn fat.

It improves posture. – This has also been proven to lower cortisol levels, which is your stress and stubborn fat-holding hormone!

It improves blood flow. – the higher your circulation, the higher your health is and faster weight are going to be lost! 

Some of you'll be unable to try to to a full walk thanks to knee and hip problems.

That’s okay. Just do what you'll with what you have!

Next abreast of our list of fast weight loss tips if you weigh 200 lbs or more is…

8 - Skip calorie counting.

Counting calories may be a great model for bodybuilders looking to urge to five body fat or overly obsessed personal trainers looking to require mirror photos.

Counting calories may be a pretty terrible model if you're over 200 pounds and trying to urge a weight loss journey started off on the proper foot.

This is due to the hormonal damage you likely have.

Insulin resistance, leptin resistance, high cortisol, and lots of others are likely affecting you.

So once you do count calories, the load won’t drop fast enough. Sometimes it won’t budge in the least .

This is an excruciating feeling once you are eating sort of a rabbit and not seeing the size move.

Focus less on calories and more on the standard of what you're eating.

9 - YOU NEED TO GET RESULTS FAST!

According to the newest science, militant diets win out vs. standard diets.

Those who lose the foremost weight within the first 2-4 weeks of dieting have the best weight loss leads to the subsequent year.

Therefore, losing weight fast will better impact you in both the short-term and therefore the long-term. the foremost effective thing you'll do is really a chilly turkey approach.

Losing weight FAST will motivate you to lose more.

It gives you momentum.

It puts the sails at your front and therefore the wind at your back.

And you would like some weight loss wins at your back to stay moving forward!

Get results fast, and use a program that moves quickly.

10 - Love yourself.

The more you love yourself, accept yourself, and plan to work on yourself, the higher off you'll be.

A failure to require care of yourself and your body may be a failure to like yourself.

Commit to this journey, accepting where you're, and loving yourself throughout the whole process!

[ssteezyy]

Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Dr. Marci Koski: Cats Who Don’t Get Along, Marking Behavior, and More

This post contains affiliate links*

Dr. Marci Koski is a certified Feline Behavior and Training Professional who received specialized and advanced certificates in Feline Training and Behavior from the Animal Behavior Institute. While Marci has been passionate about all animals and their welfare, cats have always had a special place in her heart. In fact, Marci can’t remember a time when she’s been without at least one cat in her life. She currently relies on her five-member support staff  to maintain the feline duties of her household.

Marci’s own company, Feline Behavior Solutions, focuses on keeping cats in homes, and from being abandoned to streets or shelters as the result of treatable behavior issues. Marci believes that the number of cats who are abandoned and/or euthanized in shelters can be greatly reduced if guardians better understand what drives their cats to certain behaviors, and learn how to work with their cats to encourage appropriate behaviors instead of unwanted ones.

Do you have a question for Dr. Marci? Leave it in a comment, and she’ll answer it next month!

Friendly female cat being ignored or hissed at by other cats

I have a female cat that is very mellow and friendly towards people as well as other cats. The problem is that the other two cats either ignore her (male) or the senior female will swat and/or hiss at her. It appears the senior female is jealous because when she comes to bed with me, she will then start swatting or hissing if the other female is on the bed. She will also have this behavior if the younger female is by me at other times. This behavior disturbs me and I cannot figure out why the younger cat is treated in this manner. – Rozanne Malaise

Hi Rozanne,

Thanks for writing in about your kitties. It’s difficult when cats don’t always get along, isn’t it? Fortunately, there are some things that you can do to smooth over relationships. I’m not worried about the relationship that your younger female has with the male cat, since seemingly neutral interactions (where one cat ignores the other) indicate a pretty good relationship (at least in my book) – no one is threatened or intimidated, and each cat is secure in their space with each other. Yay for peaceful coexistence! On the other hand, your senior female is exhibiting signs of insecurity – YOU are perceived as the resource that is being competed over, and your senior girl is not about to give that up to some young upstart. I’m curious – do the two females have peaceful interactions in your home at all, or do they avoid each other except when they are both around you?

I’d love for you to work on helping your senior female feel a bit more secure, and also improve the association she has with the younger female. First, make sure that there are plenty of key resources around the home, spread out as much as possible so that resource competition isn’t a factor. Make sure that the two girls are fed on opposite sides of the room (or even different rooms), and that they each have access to separate litter boxes in their own socially significant areas of the home. Napping spots, toys, perches, access to water, etc. are all resources that should be plentiful!

Next, let’s work on forming positive associations between the two girls. Is your senior female at all food-motivated? If so, great! If not, try to find a food item that she will eat – try plain cooked chicken breast, goat cheese (it’s a bit more digestible than cow’s milk products), the juice from a tuna can, a bit of shrimp, etc. Then, I encourage you to work with your cats so that they are in the same area as you. If you have something that can keep your younger cat occupied (or if she’s napping), sit near her and call your senior cat over. When she comes over, reward her with a high-value treat. You may have to start quite a distance from your younger kitty, or have her behind a gate. But that’s ok! We’re basically using counter-conditioning (pairing something “good” with something perceived as “not so good”) to reform the association your senior cat has to the younger girl. Work on bringing the two kitties closer to each other and reward the senior (or both!) for good, calm behavior. Eventually, I’d like you to be able to sit on the couch with each cat on either side of you, periodically getting treats for being nice to each other.

Good luck – I hope this helps!

Female cat is peeing around the house

I have four cats and the youngest is a two year old spayed female. The problem is that she is constantly marking various places around the house. How can I correct this behavior. I’m tired of cleaning. She is by far the most active of the four cats, constantly exploring and running around. Even with all that energy, she does not like playing with feather teasers and toys, so wearing her out is impossible. – Rolfe Smith

Hi Rolfe,

ok, let me just start by saying that cat urine is the WORST. So, I completely understand your frustration – it’s hard to remove from fabrics, and it smells terrible! That being said, there are a few things that you can do. First, make sure that you’ve taken your kitty to a veterinarian and that she’s been tested so that medical causes for her behavior can be ruled out. Bladder infections, cystitis, urinary crystals, etc. can all cause cats to stay away from the litter box.

Next, make sure that you’re doing everything you can to get the urine out of surfaces where she has urinated. Use an enzyme-based cleaner. Do not use bleach or vinegar, as sometimes these will dry and leave a scent that cats will want to cover with their own. Additionally, if you have previously used soaps or detergents on fabric or carpet, make sure they are thoroughly rinsed because even residual detergents will kill the beneficial enzymes in your cleaner and make it less effective.

Then, is your cat urinating (emptying her bladder), or spraying (to mark)? Usually (but not always), you can tell the difference by where the urine is and how it shows up. Urination for emptying the bladder usually occurs on horizontal surfaces and shows up as a large pool. Spraying us usually on a vertical surface – you’ll see a line of urine on the wall, dripping down to the floor, with a small puddle. Also, spraying frequently occurs near doors and windows, where foreign smells can enter the home or she can see cats outside.

To remedy this, it NEVER hurts to have a great litter box setup – check out these guidelines that Ingrid  posted on The Conscious Cat. If your cat is urinating near the boxes, that’s often a sign to me that there’s something she doesn’t like about the litter box! And, even if your kitty is spraying, having a great litter box nearby can help.

If your cat is spraying, you can try a few things. If it’s outdoor cats who are setting her off, try putting opaque window film on windows or doors where she can see the outdoor kitties. Then, try providing her with alternative ways to “mark” the areas she’s been spraying with urine. You can spray Feliway in these areas, or use cheek rubbings (use a soft sock to rub her cheeks to collect her friendly facial pheromones and her personal scent) to deposit her scent on places that have been sprayed. Try putting a scratcher nearby (cats leave scent marks from their paws when they scratch) or place bedding that has her scent on it in the area. Or, you can try to change the perceived use of those areas – for example, cats don’t like to eat or sleep where there is urine. Try putting a food bowl or food puzzle in one of the soiled areas, or bedding. Or have a play session there, too!

If this problem is stress-related, making sure that your kitty has good relationships with other cats/animals in the home is key. I know you said she doesn’t like feather toys, but do try a long wand toy – my favorites are Da Bird, and the Wiggly Wand by Dezi and Roo because they are both long and you can put different lures on the ends. Trust me – your cat WILL go after these, since she’s two years old and energetic! Play is a huge stress-reliever, and I can not overstate its importance for maintaining a low-stress and confident cat. I hope that this helps!

Integrating a new cat into a family of 16

I have had cats all my life, and for the past 22 years my husband and I have had up to 35 indoor/outdoor rescue cats (all fixed). So I am rather experienced with cats. Yet now, I am at the end of my wits. Three of our 4 existing tomcats don’t get along with 2 tomcats we adopted last November and will fight until blood is flowing, whenever they have a chance. (We have to rotate the 2 groups of tomcats between our house, the guest room, the garage, the sun room, and the outdoors, several times a day. That’s quite a task!) I wrote you a letter asking for help, a few weeks ago, but this letter never showed on this website. It must have landed in the abysses of cyber space.

Yet now, we have an even worse problem: One of our tenants found her cat, Gates, missing last December. She was overjoyed to find a picture of him on Facebook, posted by a local Cat Rescue Organization. She picked him up, and everything was fine and dandy, except that Gates, who had always been friendly to the very lively huge puppy, now suddenly was “mean” to him. And then, 2 days ago, the real Gates came back (after having been missing since early December, when our tenant first moved into our property). The cat she had picked up at the Cat Rescue had been a look-alike of her cat.

Even though, the two Gates (after first hissing) seemed to get along with each other, our tenant cannot keep both cats for a number of reasons. So she asked us to adopt Gates II. We had met Gates II before and had found him an exceptionally friendly and affectionate cat, and I had spent quite some time petting him while my husband had been busy repairing the furnace of the duplex-apartment.

My husband and I are in our late 70s. We were now down to 16 cats. And we no longer adopt more cats (except when one walks in or gets dropped off). But with this cat we made an exception because we had found him such an adorable cat (and also because we wanted to be helpful to our tenant). So I picked up Gates II, last night. And now there is disaster!!!

As we had done before, when we adopted a new cat, we put the opened pet carrier with Gates II into a huge dog cage in our living room, so that he could see our other cats, while being in a safe place. Some cats came over to greet the newcomer, but Gates II remained in the pet carrier, within the dog cage.

Some time before we went to bed, we moved the pet carrier with Gates II to our guest room (which, since last November, had been the main refuge for the, then, newly adopted 2 tomcats, Ginger, and Link). Since Ginger is a very mellow cat, we left him in the guest room (on a tower of boxes), while my husband and I sat down on the futon trying to coax Gate II out of the pet carrier with a selection of cat food. Gates II finally emerged, ate some of the food, but the exchanged glances between Gates II and Ginger were anything but friendly. So we removed Ginger from the room.

This morning (while I was still asleep), my husband entered the guest room, and Link (the other cat who had considered the guest room his main refuge since last November) dashed in right behind my husband. Before my husband could make any move, Gates II attacked Link fiercely, and after my husband had managed to get Link out of the room, Gates II attacked my husband’s legs and left injuries, even though my husband was wearing jeans and long johns underneath.

When I got up, several hours later, my husband and I entered the room again (without any other cat around), and we talked to Gates II and petted him. He seemed to wish to “apologize” to my husband for the attack he had landed on him several hours earlier,. He liked being petted, and he brushed against both of us.

I eventually picked up Gates II and put him over my shoulder (careful not to get him close to my face). He seemed relaxed. Then I walked 2 steps with him and put him down softly on the little desk by the window. (This window is on the 2nd floor, and there is nothing to see from it but vehicles–no cats in sight.) The moment I had put him down, he turned around and put his long claws into my left hand, deeper than I had ever been clawed by any cat. (I, right after, applied antibiotic ointment, but where one of his claws hit a vein, my hand is swollen now and might have infection.)

I could somewhat understand that seeing Link (a huge cat) come into the room, this morning, Gates II was so upset that he attacked my husband’s legs, but shouldn’t he have simmered down after several hours being in the nice, bright room by himself, with no other cat in sight? Is there any chance that he’ll adjust and get along with the other cats of Happy Cats Ranch? (And remember, we already have trouble between 2 groups of tomcats.) We live 10 miles from town. And our cherished vet, who lives 20 miles from us, has retired 15 months ago, and is now only rarely available. The remaining 2 vet offices in town are difficult to get appointments with. Thus, if a cat gets injured, we do have quite a problem.

Can Gates II even be adopted out by the local shelter or the local Cat Rescue Organization? Even if there were no other animals around, I would not trust him with children. (Most people in our area have children and/or grandchildren. We don’t.) I am afraid that if we return Gates II to our tenant (who will have to return him to the local Cat Rescue Organization or to the local shelter), he will end up euthanized (or he will get adopted out and hurt somebody).

Is there any chance to get this cat re-socialized and save his life? And do you have any suggestions how we can stop the outright war between our other 2 tomcat groups? (Add to this a newly dropped off tom, who is also at war with our existing “gang of three”.) As I said, we have had up to 35 cats ever since 1987 (when we got settled at our 18-acre country property, bordering federal lands), and we have never ever had such problems with cat wars (and even less with cats attacking us). HELP!!! – Lilo Huhle-Poelz

Hi Lilo –

WOW. It seems like you have a lot going on, much more than I’ll be able to address in a response for this column. But first, let’s just put things into perspective for Gates II. Consider this: he was in a shelter (and who knows what his life was like before that) for some time, presumably with all sorts of different cats, dogs, people, smells, noises, etc. that were foreign to him. Then, he got adopted by your tenant, who brought him to a new place that was also completely foreign, this time with a large puppy. Then, after a short while, he was brought to your place where he was surrounded by a lot of new kitties and people in a completely unfamiliar environment. That’s a HUGE amount of change for a cat, and I’m actually surprised that he emerged from his carrier so quickly to accept food – many cats would have waited a lot longer and only eaten when left completely alone. That says something about his personality and confidence – good things!

Yes, it is easy to understand why he attacked your husband after Link entered the room – that’s more a case of redirected aggression where Gates II was probably reacting out of fear and defensiveness (even if he did go after Link). Gates II didn’t have any sort of established territory in the home, which can cause insecurity and defensiveness to be heightened, especially when faced with an intruder (whom Gates II I’m sure recognized as the “owner” of the room through scent). It’s a little bit more difficult to understand why he clawed you when you put him down, but please do consider that he was probably already “on guard” for the reasons I listed above – he’s unsure about who/what will be coming through the door at any moment, he doesn’t have any territory to help him feel more secure (and knows he’s in someone else’s territory, based on other cats’ scent markings), and he’s being handled quite closely with people he doesn’t have a strong bond with (yet, anyway). Cats are hypersensitive to their surroundings, so where we are able to block out things like background noise, shadows, smells, etc., cats are paying attention to ALL of these things. Combine that with a cat who is in a new and unfamiliar environment (that smells abundantly of other cats) and…well…you experienced the result. It could have been just a bit of discomfort in the way he was being held, or a shadow flashing across the ceiling, that made him feel scared, resulting in him suddenly lashing out at you.

That being said, based on the limited information I have, I’m optimistic that his actions were circumstantial. Had he been more secure or more familiar with his surroundings and you, he may never have lashed out, so let’s give Gates II the benefit of the doubt for now. The more Gates II is able to get acquainted with his surroundings and “claim” them as his own (i.e., by leaving his scent through body and cheek rubbings, scratching, having his litter box in his area, etc.) the more confident he is going to be. When it comes to him interacting with other cats, some cats must be introduced very slowly, and he might be one of them. I highly recommend giving him time to adjust and slowly exposing him to the other cats with scent, then visual interactions. With each scent/visual interaction, pair with something positive (like a favorite treat) or a distraction (like a favorite toy or game) so that he can build positive associations with the other cats. You do have a lot of kitties to wrangle so it’s going to be a bit more challenging, but for a basic process, check out Jackson Galaxy’s guest post at The Conscious Cat about cat to cat introductions. This may also help you with what’s going on with your gangs of toms that aren’t getting along so well!

The longer you live with Gates II, the more you’ll learn about him, his personality, and whether he’s a mellow fellow or a bit more high-strung. Some cats just will not get along with other cats, which can be the cause of aggression. However, this does not mean that they can’t be adopted into a different situation where they might be completely happy. I’m sure that you’ll consider Gates II’s happiness in your home – he may eventually fit in, but if he’s not making any progress with getting along with others, he will probably be happier in a different home. I wish it was easier to predict how cats will adjust to a new environment, but it’s nearly impossible. Homes with a lot of potential stressors affect each cat differently, which may make it more or less difficult for cats to adjust to other feline (or canine, or human) members of the household. Fortunately, it sounds like Gates II usually has a sweet disposition, so I have high hopes for him!

Finally, it may be beneficial to hire a professional cat behavior consultant to come to your home to assess the situation and help you how to best figure out how to help with Gates II and your other tomcats. If you don’t have anyone in your area, there are many consultants who can work with clients long distance via video (which can actually work quite well in many situations). A professional will be able to take a look at the cats’ environment and resources and help you identify how to smooth out the relationships between your cats, or at least help everyone safely coexist with minimal stress. It’s so clear that you love all of your kitties and want them to have good lives – best of luck to you, your toms, and Gates II!

A note from Ingrid: Dr. Marci did not want to promote her own services in this column – she offers remote behavior consultations, and I highly recommend reaching out to her!

*The Conscious Cat is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This means that if you decide to purchase through any of our links, we get a small commission. The Conscious Cat is a member of Etsy’s affiliate program. We only spread the word about products and services we’ve either used or would use ourselves.  

The post Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Dr. Marci Koski: Cats Who Don’t Get Along, Marking Behavior, and More appeared first on The Conscious Cat.