#not even including akutagawa because like...he should not have to carry a child to term

[vitasexualiiis]

oh look, something i have put way too much thought into. mix and match or include all four, it's up to you:

dazai: mr. "i can't let anyone in" allowing something to invade his literal body? never. get it out. would be terrified he wouldn't have the capacity to love it the way it needed to be loved 🙃🙃🙃 he'd ultimately endure, but it'd be rough.

ranpo: that much discomfort?? for that long??? followed by the responsibility of a child???? absolutely not. HE is the baby. no other babies allowed. pregnant ranpo would be a menace, and manipulate everyone into taking care of him. he WOULD pretend to be pregnant like that one platypus, though. just to get extra food. let's be real.

fukuzawa: would be super fucked up that he didn't have control over his body or brain anymore! like, my dude would get morning sickness and be randomly bursting into tears or piss himself a little and would just be like, "this is it. the final betrayal. leave me here to die." he'd deal, though. like dazai, he'd also be worried he'd fuck the kid up. (he'd do fine.)

mori: vacilltes wildly between pathetic and weepy, and Mommy Boss. would be health conscious to the point of paranoia, to make up for the fact that he wouldn't stop working. (and because my dude def has OCD.) would absolutely give birth during an important Port Mafia zoom meeting he didn't think he could skip. (the sounds of mori pushing a child out of his body will be with entirely too many people forever.) otherwise? he'd be fine. out of all of these guys, he'd probably be the one most likely to take it all in stride and be excited about it.

BONUS ROUND, CHUUYA: would do a great job at being pregnant and also a parent! but would 100% take too many risks that would make everyone else around him insane. mori would have to condemn him to bed rest for the last trimester or he'd be out on missions and driving way too fast and kicking people in the head. he'd vacillate between "i'm going to be the best dad in the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD" and "oh god oh god oh god oh god" but at least he'd know he'd love that kid so hard that everything would be okay :)

so i guess the real takeaway here is that out of all of them, morichuu is the ship most capable of having babies 👍 have fun with that one!

forget top and bottom. which half of your pairing can handle being pregnant?