#not even fully sure it’s a dodgers hat but it looks a lot like their logo

[girlsdads]

daniel in california wearing a dodgers bucket hat….. ik everyone and their brother wears dodgers merch even if they don’t gaf about baseball but in my mind palace daniel went to the dodgers/mets game on monday and watched the mets win 🙂‍↕️

[streetsavoir-faire]

Born Name: Damien Quincy Rodriguez 

Age: 22

Birthday: May 26th 1998

Overview:

Mother: Catalina Rodriguez (39 February 19th, 1981)

Father(s): Michael Rodriguez (41 April 24th, 1979) Richard “Einstein” Jones (50), Fagin Jones (47)

Mother’s Occupation: Unemployed, Student

Father’s Occupation: Fast Food worker, mechanic, Odd-jobs in a diverse field. Warehouse work, delivery, MLM’s, production, etc.

Family Finances: Lower Class, Skirting Poverty

Other Close Family: Francis “Frankie” Corbyn (41) - ‘Uncle’,  Ignacio Alonso Julio Federico De Tito (24) - Big Brother, Oliver Saluki-Sykes (20) - Little Brother, Rita Saluki-Sykes (29) - Sister,

Pets: Dorothy - Redish/pink betta Fish, Tiny - Tito’s Rottweiler/Pitbull Mix

Home Life During Childhood: Before he was found and taken in by Fagin? Horrible. Dodger suffered abuse from parents who were far too young and immature to have children. They didn’t want a kid, and they made that very clear to Dodger from the very moment they brought him home. He was never shown love or compassion from his mother or father. He was barely taken care of and owned one toy in his five or so years of living with them. He suffered emotional and physical abuse and spent many nights on the streets, unsupervised. Often, he was locked out of his house for ‘misbehavior’. Eventually Dodger just decided to stay out there and spent his nights under a bridge before eventually Fagin took notice of him and eventually gained his trust and brought him home.

After Fagin, his childhood was still a little troubled. Their family was poor, and often struggled to find money for food, luxuries or heat. Even struggling, Dodger much preferred his found family as he got to learn what it was like to have people that loved him. Even with debt collectors, facing abuse from the Sykes’ and occasionally needing to eat small inconsistent meals, or cuddle up together instead of having heat in the house. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like: When Dodger moved in with Fagin he quickly took over the apartment’s storage loft and claimed it as his own. While it was dangerous (there was no barrier to stop anyone from falling back into the living room below) and a little drafty (there was also a nifty hole that gave him access to the roof) - it was home for Dodger. With a mattress tucked up into the corner and the rickety ladder to get up and down (that he himself rarely used), it was perfect for Dodger. Sure - it wasn’t all the spacious or child-friendly but... it was his favorite.

Any Sports or Clubs: Dodger didn’t go to school - and therefore he didn’t participate in any clubs or organized sports. Instead he went with Frankie to his theater group, spent time reading with Einstein & Fagin or scaled buildings and played made up sports with Tito.

Favorite Toy or Game: Dodger’s favorite toy (and something he still cherishes to this day) was a small teddy bear that Fagin got him the first night he came home. It’s over a decade (closer to two) old and is worn beyond relief, but Dodger still keeps it in his bedroom. As a child he carried it everywhere and was incredibly protective of it. It has plenty of tears and stitches that Fagin fixed himself - but Dodger loves it all the same.

Schooling: Again, Dodger didn’t go to school. He left his home before he would have been enrolled and while Fagin and Einstein tried to get him into school, Dodger simply couldn’t handle the hours away from his new family, nor could he deal with how overwhelming the whole concept was. So instead, they all did their part homeschooling himself and Tito over the years. He’s got plenty of street smarts and owes everything else he knows to Fagin, Einstein and Frankie.

Favorite Subject: Reading with Fagin & Einstein. (And reading plays with Frankie since he was so dramatic)

Popular or Loner: Popular  (not in school obvs)

Nationality: American

Religion and beliefs: None

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Tyler Posey

Movie/Era Representation: Alone 

Complexion: Smooth, olive skinned, freckled

Hair Colour: Naturally Black / Currently Dyed Blue

Eye Colour: Brown

Height: 5′10

Weight: 153.4lbs.

Build: Athletic/Slim

Tattoos: A very large and ever growing collection --> See here

Piercings: 14mm Gauges in ears, nose piercing, snake-bites (re-pierced), eyebrow piercing (re-pierced)

Common Hairstyle: Typically sweptback, sometimes a mess when he wears a hat or beanie, usually tries to keep it semi-long, swept to the side (x is a common look)

Clothing Style: Casual street wear. Ratty jeans, ripped jeans, dirty jeans. T-shirts, muscle tanks, sweatshirts. Backwards hats or beanies. Worn black and white converse. Nothing fancy. You’ll tend to see a red bandana somewhere on his person. Sometimes he wears it around his head, sometimes around his neck, occasionally tucked into a pocket or around his wrist. But it’s always somewhere.

Mannerisms: Likes to drum his fingers or drum on things in general, also a knuckle cracker. Tends to move a lot because he’s high energy.

Usual Expression: Smiley babe

Health

Overall (do they get sick easily)?: Yes. A combination of terrible care to himself and drugs makes Dodger extremely susceptible to getting sick. He’s a perfect picture of what not to do health-wise and it shows.

Physical Ailments: Mildly Anemic,

Disorders: None

Neurological Conditions: None.

Allergies: Latex, mangos, cats,

Grooming Habits: He showers, unlike most #men he is not a 3-in-1 kind of guy, so he knows how to use separate body wash, shampoo and conditioner. He’ll wash his face every morning & every night and brush his hair and shit but he’s not over the top. Shaves if his facial hair gets longer than a mild scruff. Keeps the boys tame.

Sleeping Habits: Inconsistent. Dodger has no real sleep schedule, but he tends to sleep just about anywhere when he needs to. He’s the least picky about how he sleeps and falls asleep easy.

Eating Habits: Uh, he eats. Sometimes. Some days it’s eating for a village, some he skips for a day and is like ‘oh yeah oops.’ It depends. So I’d call this inconsistent as well.

Exercise Habits: He’s always exercising just by association. He walks/runs everywhere and climbs shit and is doing his free running/parkour all over Swynlake.

Emotional Stability: Fair. He tends to stay cool and tries to be the mediator when it comes to trouble. Dodger tends to be the one who keeps it together and stays calm when they’re in a situation. The relief, really. However when he does slip, he can get emotional quickly. Fun-fact: Dodger never yells. He may say things firmly, angrily, etc but he won’t yell.

Body Temperature: Runs warm.

Sociability: A social butterfly.

Addictions: Drugs (weed, alcohol, pills, etc).

Drug Use: Daily, addicted. The hard stuff isn’t daily (weed is... multiple times a day), but more every few days, once a week.

Alcohol Use: Often.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits: Drugs. Drumming on objects or idly, cracking his knuckles, zoning out mid-conversation, scratching the back of his neck, smoking, manipulating people.

Good Habits: Loyalty, offering his help, extending manners, being kind.

Best Characteristic: Openness.

Worst Characteristic: Pride

Worst Memory: Being beaten within an inch of his life & having to leave his family and home behind and flee the country.

Best Memory: Being officially adopted as Fagin & Einstein’s son.

Proud of: Holding his job at the garage. Getting his gig at Pixie’s. Still being in a relationship (new record).

Embarrassed by: His inability to get his music off the ground, how he’s still in the same place in life when everyone else seems to be getting somewhere or doing things.

Driving Style: Does not drive.

Strong Points: His passion and drive. His ability to bring things and people together.

Temperament: Carefree and easy going.

Attitude: Optimistic & outgoing.

Weakness: Coming off as too confident, cocky.

Fears:  Being abandoned/being alone again, his family getting hurt or dying.

Phobias:  Being abandoned.

Secrets:  An open book. Perhaps the one secret he has is knowing that Roscoe abused Oliver.

Regrets: Going to William Sykes and trying to buy them time to pay back their loan.

Feels Vulnerable When: He’s with his parents.

Pet Peeves: People who brag about their money. Charities, but not charity. 

Conflicts: Having money in the family. Having Roscoe married to Rita when he fucking hates him but wants Rita to be happy.

Motivation: Support for Fagin & Einstein/to make them proud.

Short Term Goals and Hopes: To start picking up more gigs and getting music off the ground.

Long Term Goals and Hopes: To be able to fully financially support himself and the fam through his music and that he can quit his real job and do what he loves.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Exercise Routine: Running all around Swynlake like a crazy man.

Day or Night Person: Night - that’s when the action is.

Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist: Optimist

Likes and Styles:

Music: Punk Rock, Rock, Alternative,

Books: Any book that Fagin & Einstein used to read him

Magazines: Playboy (lol)

Foods: Quesadillas

Drinks: Coke, whiskey, vodka, rum, Gatorade,

Animals: Any are cool

Sports: The made up ones he’d play with Tito, Free running,

Social Issues: Domestic Abuse, Child Abuse, Women’s Rights, Magick Rights,

Favorite Saying:  Absotively Posilutely

Color: Red

Clothing: Jeans, T-shirts.

Jewelry: Gauges, lip rings, nose ring, eyebrow stud.

Games: Poker, Rummy, Uno,

Websites: Not a huge internet person (because he didn’t grow up into it like most kids his age). He uses Twitter a lot though. Youtube just to watch things. Used to use the ‘Hub’ quite a bit ;)

TV Shows: Doesn’t really watch TV, but when they could pay for cable, anything ridiculous. He was a fan of the Crocodile Hunter if only because Tito and himself would mimic that show and get into so much trouble.

Movies: Again, he’s not really well versed in movies but.. I’m sure he was into shit he wasn’t supposed to watch when he could get ahold of them. Fight Club, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, etc.

Greatest Want: To be happy & with his family.

Greatest Need: Affection.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home: Dodger now lives in Benbow (2D) and honestly his biggest complaint is simply being on the second floor. He would much prefer an apartment he has to climb higher to break into (since who uses the door?). However, he doesn’t like the apartment nearly as much as he loved the old rickety apartment they lived in back home. He misses his loft and all the weird things that made it perfect. This apartment isn’t terrible - sure, the door sticks something fierce and it’s a little cramped for five people but... it’s fine. And the neighbors aren’t the worst, it’s just... never felt right. It’s still home, if only because home is determined by the people living there more than the place itself.

Household furnishings: A mish-mash of things. Nothing in the Jones household is a set. It’s all second-hand or used items that they got when they could and when they could afford to. That means everything from the tables and chairs don’t really.. match like they might in a normal household, but none of them really mind. They’re just grateful to have them in the first place.

Favorite Possession: The bear Fagin got him when he first came home.

Most Cherished Possessions: The bear Fagin got him when he first came home (shocker) - though a worn red bandana that he took from Fagin also comes in close second. He’s almost always wearing it somewhere. Also the stuffed Reindeer from his first Christmas. The beat up guitar that the whole gang pulled together to get him.

Neighborhood: Benbow

Town or City Name: Swynlake

Relationship with Family: Great! Dodger is incredibly close with his found family. He would lay his life on the line or do anything for all of them. He’s closest to Fagin, but only because that man gave him everything in life he’s ever needed when no one else would. He loves his family so much though. Even if he annoys the absolute piss out of Frankie & Rita, he couldn’t be happier.

Car: Doesn’t have one

Career: Part-Time Mechanic, Part-Time Musician, Part-Time Con-artist/thief

Dream Career: Musician

Dream Life: Happy & can provide and take care of his family so they don’t have to work so hard anymore.

Love Life: Peri

Talents or Skills: Singing, Guitar, Percussion, Piano - musical talent in mostly all forms, athletic ability/balance, can juggle, sleight of hand, pitch perfect.

Intelligence Level: Street smart, book....slightly smart.

Finances: Poor as fuck

Past Careers: Full time thief, part time street performer, odd jobs,

Past Lovers: ‘Lovers’, none really. The closest he had was a toxic first ‘boyfriend’, Corey but it didn’t last long.

[brieannakeogh]

Dog Days of Summer-Ch 7

Dog Days of Summer- Chris Evans X plus sized reader. Dog days of summer are usually defined as the hottest of the year, some define it as lazy days. This year ‘hottest’ has nothing to do with the outside temp. You meet Chris and Dodger Evans while taking your own dog to the park.

Previous Chapter / Master List

Warnings: Cursing and fluff, mild angst

Chapter 7

You were a ball of anxiety on the couch that night. Chris wanted to ‘talk’ after he calms down. Welp it was nice to date him for 2 days anyway, also multiple kisses, yet you knew this was it. He wouldn't want to deal with your ex drama, and if Matt did go to the tabloids, it was easily deniable if the two of you had no contact. No proof, no pictures, no story. Honestly it was the smart play, it just sucked.

Chewing your nails to give your hands something to do while watching Chris’ new favorite drama series. You couldn’t even follow along with the plot anymore, making plans in your head to watch the episodes again without him, so you could be ready to watch more tomorrow night. Wait no, scratch that, he wouldn’t be here tomorrow night would he? Back to chewing.

The sound coming from the tv stopped, but it took you a few moments to notice, or at least that was the impression you got from Chris’ expression.

“You’re not going to be able to calm down are you? You’re worried.” He watches you nod your head and he lets out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ok...ok…” He mumbles seemly more to himself than you. His hand rubbing your arm with his that is slung over your shoulder. “It’ll be fine. I mean it’s been what? A week or so since we met, but other people do it all the time. It’ll be good.” Again it feels like he’s more talking to himself and not to you. It’s like he’s trying to convince himself that leaving you wouldn’t be hard since it was such a short time.

You felt very differently, but you couldn’t blame him, it was the smart thing to do. He was a freaking superstar and he had to protect his image and subsequently his job. Public perception was everything nowadays. You can feel your chest tighten and throat closing as you fight back tears that are inevitable. The feel of you stiffening in his arms has him look down at you, seeing you start to break down. You watch as his jaw locks and he pushes you off the couch, standing up as well.

“Go pack a bag. If it has you this upset we’re not staying here.” Your eyes snap to him, wide and confused. “I don’t think he has another key but if you’re are that worried that it has you crying you can stay at my place for a night or two, at least until you can decide what to do.” You don’t move from your spot near the couch. “I’ve got a spare room, don’t worry.” He smirks. Did this mean he didn’t want to stop dating you? “Was there something else that you’re worried about?”

“You said we were going to ‘talk’. I just had my ex break into the apartment he’s technically paying for, see you and recognize you and admit we’re dating, while trying to get back with me, probably just so he has a place to live, and you said you wanted to ‘talk’. In what universe is that not ‘we’re no longer dating’?”

“Shit did I use the ‘T’ word?” Chris winced.

“Yeah, ya did.”

“I just meant about you and him and the key situation with the housing. If you were going to stay here or we needed to look at more places, security systems, that sort of thing. It never even crossed my mind to not see you again.” He stepped into your space and placed his hands on your neck and face.

“Huh...you’re kind of strange you know that?”

“I’m sure I’ve been told that before. Probably will be again.” He smirked.

“It would be smart to not see me anymore. Make life for your manager a lot easier, so he doesn’t have to catch a story if Matt is stupid enough to leak the information.”

“He needs a little excitement in his life. I’m such a boring celebrity. He should be put to the test to see if he can handle a scandal.”

Your arms are now around his waist as he places a kiss on your forehead. “You know you called me your girlfriend earlier.”

“Caught that did you?”

“Were you trying to be subtle?” A grin on your face.

“I learn from the best, or worse in this case.” You slap him on the chest but end up hurting your hand instead, which just makes him laugh, but he kisses your hurt palm anyway. He grows quiet for a moment, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand gently. “Even though you were thinking of something else, did you still want to come to my place? Until you can get the locks changed at least?”

You’re chewing on your lip again and look at your feet. “While I would feel more comfortable not being here until that happens, that’s an insane step to offer. You barely know me. You can’t possibly be comfortable with this.”

“But you would be, right?” You shrug, not looking up. “We’ve known each other the same amount of time, why do you get to be comfortable letting me into here but I can’t be comfortable letting you into my home?”

That has you glancing up, eyes narrowed in a very ‘really? It’s very obvious why I would be more comfortable.’ look.

“Hey I could be a bad person and I just interview well.” He counters, which makes you giggle snort.

“Are you sure? Like 100%, die on this hill sure?”

“Having to ask that many times makes me less sure....” He laughs. “Yes, go pack a bag. You can call the landlord to get a locksmith out here from my place.”

“She actually lives on the first floor. We can stop by on the way through if she’s home. I think it would be easier if I explained the situation in person.”

He nods and you move into the bedroom to pack a bag. Making sure to pack clothes for the next day and some pjs, along with your toiletry. When you come out, you see Chris has grabbed a few of Popcorn’s toys and treats and is currently looking through the cabinets for his food.

He holds up Popcorns bowl. “Are you out?”

“No, he’s just a spoiled little shit that now will only eat the refrigerated food. The bag’s in there.”

Pulling the little plastic bag from the fridge, he puts that in the bag with the toys and treats. “I think I’ve got him all set, what about you?”

“Thanks and yeah I’m good.” You smile and suddenly get nervous. It didn’t actually hit you to what you were agreeing to until right now. Yes it seemed necessary, your ex invading you space and then raging over Chris being there, not a safe situation if he came back, but this was going to his house. If he deemed you crazy, you would know where he lives. It was a much bigger step than a phone number that he could change at any moment. This was a trust you’re not sure you deserve.

The dogs get their leashes back on and you tote the bag with Popcorns items, and Chris took your bag, while he grabs your hand with the other. You get down to your landlady’s apartment and knock on her door. A dog barking and a muffled “Shhhh” on the other side, let you know she’s home.

“Hey Ms. Daniels. I’m sorry to bother you, but I need something done on my apartment.”

Her smile is pleasant and she looks from you to Chris, who is standing a few paces behind. She was familiar with the situation with your ex and was sympathetic. “Sure, did something happen?”

“We got in and found Matt in the apartment. He apparently didn’t give back all the keys. Is there anyway we could get a locksmith out here and change them? He said it was the only copy he had left, but he said the same thing before.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Your name is on the lease too so I just need one of you to sign the work order. I’m assuming you’re not staying there at the moment.” She asked, eyeing the duffel and leashes in Chris’ hand.

“No I’m staying with…” You glance behind you. “A friend.”

“Alright dear, I’ll text you when it’s done. Let me go get one of the order forms for you to sign.”

Once the paperwork was done, you thanked Ms. Daniels again and headed out to walk to Chris’ apartment.

“I’m sorry again, this wasn’t how I was expecting our night to go.”

“You can stop apologizing.” Chris squeezed your hand in his as he said it. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s still early. We can make up for it.”

He tugs on your hand, stopping you in front of a building, a nice building, a very nice building. Even with it being only a few blocks away from your own apartment, you can see the difference in the neighborhood and the details in the building itself. It all screams expensive.

There is an actual doorman that opens the door for you and Chris. He even has the little hat and outfit that you had only seen in tv shows. Tipping his hat with a polite “Mr. Evans” and a smile to you, Chris says a quick hello before leading you to the elevator doors.

Once the doors are shut, and you are alone in the little box, you turn and fully face Chris.

“You have a doorman.” Your tone flat, almost accusing.

“Yeah….?”

“He has an outfit and a little doorman’s hat.”

“And?”

“I didn’t know those existed.”

“The doormen or the outfit?”

“The outfit, specifically the hat.”

The doors open to a short hallway, at the end of which is a single door. You look around and don’t see any other rooms or doors. Swallowing, you hold Popcorn closer, trying hard to not think about the fact he has a full floor to himself.

“Why the hat?” His question seems out of place now that he has gotten the door open and ushered you inside. Dodger running around, excited to be home. Taking a moment to get your bearings and to pet the insistent Dodger, you use the silly conversation to hide how awkward and uncomfortable you’re feeling. It’s hitting you again just how very much out of your league he is.

“It’s adorable. I think I want one.” You set Popcorn on the floor and remove the leash quickly. He’s starting to get annoyed with Dodger sniffing him and jumping around and you know he wants to go hide somewhere.

“Exactly when and where would you wear it?”

“I’m sure I can come up with an eclectic outfit to pair it with. Or better idea! You come in from a long day of shooting and I’m just standing around in a set of lingerie and the hat. Sexy right?” You giggle and turn back to him to see him frozen at the door. Crap you went too far.

He shakes himself a bit before he answers. “How about no to the hat. Although the other, you are more than welcome to do any time.” A hand smacks your ass as he goes past you, further into the living room, earning a yelp and a groan from you, your whole body growing hot. You shouldn't have started it, because now you didn’t know how you were going to survive a night at his place.

Next Chapter

Sorry later in the afternoon, lots of things on my day off to do lol. Let me know what you think. She has to stay at his place for a night or two hehe. Also sorry it’s so short again V.V

Tags are still open as well. 

@spidey-babe-parker,  @stevieang, @albinotigerpython, @paintballkid711, @katykyll, @avengersrulez1536, @ultrafreespirit, @wantingtobekorra,   @i-had-a-life-once,  @ghostssss​, @babybeluuga​, @bodhi-black​,  @kanupps06​, @hatterripper31, @grandloser, @reniescarlett, @kjidhzyx, @normanreedus5150, @ilovethings-somuch, @spiderman-2013, @bloodyvalentine93, @xx-raven, @passionghost, @prettybubblesintheair, @averyrogers83,  @ria132love, @patzammit, @whom-the-fack, @pooslie, @3dsaunt, @kristiedwyer, @janeyboo, @theonelittleone, @aslandia726, @itsmysticalmystery, @stanclub, @geminimoonbeamx​, @lookwhatyoumademequeue, @eyesfixedonthesun22, @mrsalh32611,

[sburbian-sage]

Prospitians and Dersites

A small list of all those cute carapacians and what role they have.

Artillery Deputy/Ace Dick/Angelic Dude

Alignment: Prospit

A short stout Prospitian, and one of the 3 agents for the golden planet. He, like the others, is willing to jump into action, and does a damn fine job of it, but is rather peculiar. He is very strong, but has an incredibly poor imagination and is not creative at all. Talking to him is poking a brick wall to find the Magicant. But he has his upside. Particularly, an access to lots of guns. He usually totes a tommy gun, a shotgun, or in some cases, a minigun. Don’t bring him for utility, befriend him for the dakka. He’s also great as a tank. But watch his health, because his special move is taking a shot directly in the gut.

AD’s imagination is so poor, the game doesn’t even know his recruitment parameters. Just try asking politely. I think you should try tootsie rolls?

In certain cases, AD will take the identity of Ace Dick when exiled and join a gang of investigators, which is really ridiculous, but still cool. His lack of imagination shows here because he makes a name instead of a title like his friends, but at least it fits the theme of being named AD.

If AD gets the Ring, he becomes the Angelic Dude, and will be very powerful. Unfortunately, his low imagination means he won’t use any of his powers to any great extent. He’ll still be hardy though.

Authority Regulators

Alignment: Any

What is pretty much the police. If you break the law, they’ll bust down on you. There’s 3 types, each with a rating matching the level of crime they solve. The first one is Petty Guards, for petty crimes like littering and squabbles. They look like regular carapaces in a suit. They are cutely inefficient, and actually kind of fun to mess with. The second type are Standard Guards, for standard crimes like assault, theft, and vandalism. They look a bit rougher, and will go to great lengths to finish the job. This makes them great allies, aces in the sleeve, and occasionally monkey wrenches. Then we get Serious Guards for serious crimes, like murder, mass destruction, and unpaid parking tickets. That might be a bug. They will solve problems with violence and guns if they have them. They also tend to be more of a problem for the player than anyone else. Keep in mind that the guards are called based on the seriousness of the crime, but if one is in the area they will come, regardless of their level. This results in Serious Guards threatening to kick your shit in for missing the trash can, and Petty Guards trying to stop a Rampaging Player.

These guys are made for comedic sociopathy.

If any of them come across The Ring, they will return it to the proper Royalty. However, Derse Guards will take a WK/WQ ring to Derse, while a Prospit Guard will take a BK/BQ Ring to Derse. Talk about lawful stupid.

Black King

Alignment: Derse

The main villain. He leads the Derse armies on the Battlefield and can always be found there. His armies are always destined to win and the game reaches its peak when the players challenge his claim to The Ultimate Reward.

Black Queen

Alignment: Derse

The Queen of Derse. Despite being presumably being married with the King, she seems to cavort with Jack Noir quite a bit. However, the SGRUB version explicitly states that Jack and Queen have a Kismesissitude, which includes polyamory, so she’s not cheating in SGRUB, while might be in SBURB. But nobody is stopping her, because the Queen is very powerful. In fact, a fully prototyped Queen will sometimes be more of a challenge than a fully prototyped King. Killing the Queen then the King is a challenge in Replayer circles. But you may want to do that later, as the Queen can give favours and even be asked for assistance. Just keep in mind that she is a vain beast, so be sure to be humble and compliment her every other sentence.

Courtyard Droll/Clubs Deuce/Capricious Demon

Alignment: Derse

One of the Derse Agents, but don’t worry. All he does is sit around and dance with his stupid hats and umbrellas, and get bullied by the other Agents. DD is probably the nicest because he just puts his cigarettes out on him. This one is marked with a Clubs, and he tends to settle disputes. SGRUB refers to him as a loose Auspistice, so him stopping you and a friend fighting is actually somewhat lecherous. Kinda. Regardless, he doesn’t look much, and his unassuming nature is his strength, as he can get by undetected and unexpected and do some serious damage, including theft. And if he gets his hands on explosives, you’re severely disadvantaged, if not dead. Knocking off his hat will stun him, so take advantage of it. And whatever you do, don’t get hit by his cane. It’s... upsetting.

You can actually recruit CD temporarily by wearing a hat and showing interest and knowledge in hats. Just don’t get addicted to hats. That’s a documented mental illness and it fucks up everything.

If he gets exiled, he will probably join a gang with the other Agents as their powder monkey. But if he gets the Ring, he becomes the Capricious Demon. If this is the case, he usually follows a plan of doing empowered tasks for the other agents, realizing he is more powerful, murdering all of them out of revenge, and then claiming The Ultimate Reward for himself. He will also gain a bit more pyromaniacal traits, and will blow up The Ultimate Reward. Stop him before he does this. Recruiting the other agents if they’re alive is best for this, but make sure they don’t betray you. 

Filching Rapscallion/Filthy Roughneck

Alignment: Derse

A lowly thief who lives in alleyways. He’ll probably steal things from you and the royalty, but mostly out of survival. Hell, if he gets the Ring, he won’t even think about putting it on, he’ll try to sell it. Despite his criminal nature, he’s actually nice, and can be called upon for help and even recruitment. You can trade your items and boondollars for his black market/stolen/illegal items, and feeding him a feast’s worth of food means he’ll be in your debt. In battle, he fights with a knife and can score brutal sneak attacks and backstabs. A little bit of a glass cannon, but an expert dodger. Any kills he lands also pays out more grist. He’ll eventually ask you to help him steal his Thief Armour from Prospit and Thief Knife from Derse, and doing so will net you lifetime loyalty, discounts, and his best armour and weapons. He’s one of my go-to NPCs. The only disadvantage is that he won’t enter jailhouses, buying from him is a Standard Crime, and him following you is a Petty Crime.

Draconian Dignitary/Diamonds Droog/Destructing Duke

Alignment: Derse

One of the Derse Agents. He’s the classy one marked with a Diamond. He is a slacker, and spends most of his time smoking and reading his newspaper. Please do not read the newspaper. On that note, troll girls, stay away, and human girls, don’t paint yourself grey. However, despite his slacking off and odd interests, he is a powerful man. He’s Jack’s second-in-command, and in SGRUB versions, his Moirail. He’s extremely charismatic, and can sweet-talk anyone, even some players! And if all fails, his pool cue and twin automatic rifles even the field. Be careful of this one. Even if you exile him, he does the same thing, just as Diamonds Droog, and he’s dressed better.

You can recruit DD by being a grey lady for uncomfortable reasons, but the more respectable way to do it is showing good taste in fine jazz, and lighting his cigarettes every once in a while. In addition to his regular traits, he boosts fraymotif power.

If DD gets the Ring, he’ll either hand it to Jack, or wear it himself and become the new boss, Destructing Duke. He’ll be Orcus on his Throne, and if he has to get up, he’ll salt the land. But SBURB is a game about chess. You’ll have to beat him at wits to get the drop on this man.

Hackneyed Genius/Hi-jinks Gunman

Alignment: Derse

A crazy dersite inventor, identifiable by his mustache (which he always pronounces as MOO-stash) and wearing of two monocles. He can be found in bunkers and other isolated places where he works on inventions. HG will never wear the Ring, instead choosing to study and test with it. He can be recruited by giving him some alchemy equipment. Doing so will allow you to buy alchemized equipment for Boondollars, but he also has combat use. He chooses to hang back and use guns, except they shoot weird things. This usually results in trick bullets and status effects. HG also does more damage against robotic targets.

Hegemonic Brute/Hearts Boxcars/Hulking Berserker

Alignment: Derse

The biggest Agent. Identifiable by how damn big he is by his Heart marking. He is not big on brains. This isn’t to say he’s a moron, but he knows where his strengths are (in his strength). He uses axes, but has also been known to use any big object around. Or cannibalism. He’s big on cannibalism. He’s mostly the muscle, and there isn’t much else to him. He is however really into flushed romance, and will ship the players and everyone else, so be wary.

You can recruit his strength by fulfilling his fantasies by acting lovey dovey with the person he ships you with, even if you fake it.

If he gets the Ring, he will put in on out of curiosity. If it fits his giant armoured sausage fingers, he will become the Hulking Berserker, freak out, and destroy the Incipisphere. It is nearly impossible for him to burn out. Just kill him. He is oddly weak to decapitation.

Jack Noir/Spades Slick/Sovereign Slayer

Alignment: Derse

The Big Man hass... the knif...

Jack Noir is the head of the Derse Agents. The only weapons he needs are his knives. If you anger him, it’s death by stabbing. Most Dersites have grown to fear that shadowy black Spade he wears. Jack Noir is going to be one of your biggest enemies. He thrives off violence and maybe even gets off of it, as he represents Kismesissitude. He’s even pining in black over the Queen. And you’re going to need him. He’ll help you take out the Queen, but make sure she doesn’t die, or he’ll stick your head outside his office as a testament to other players. He’ll also ask you favours to dismantle the Prospit royalty, and hands out infinite Regiswords that do more damage to royalty. Yeah, he just has infinite amounts, it’s a bug that he capitalizes on. As sharp as his knives.

If you exile him, he’ll just start fresh, but this time at the top as Spades Slick. He oft forms a gang known as The Midnight Crew, and they are cruelly efficient.

If Jack gets the Ring, mercy be upon you. The Sovereign Slayer will take the throne. All the thrones. The dead royalty pile will stack in a fast manner. And then he has all the power to take you lot out. It’s widely recognized that a Noir takeover is one of the hardest challenges in SBURB.

Recruiting Jack is a good option as he is powerful in the early game, respectable in the late game, and you’re close enough to betray him. The easiest way to recruit is doling out licorice scotty dogs. Yeah, I don’t know what those are either. So just take one for the team and get shanked. After you’re gushing blood, show reverence and respect for him, and you’ll get on his good terms. Humans and Red-Blooded Trolls have better chances as he’ll be inclined to shed his own blood and show how you two are the same. If you’re a troll session and you’re mutated, just flash him some hemoglobin and threaten the others with Jack if they get all cully.

Jack hates Clowns, will be enraged by them, and does extra damage to them.

Madame Domino

Alignment: Prospit (Zizi)/Derse (Zebra)

The Madames Domino are a a pair of twins. The Prospitian one lives on Derse and dresses in black and the Dersite lives on Prospit and dresses in white. HUH? I think they’re doing a switch or an “exotic musician” thing, because nobody notes them besides how good they are or how nice they look. The Dersite is named Zizi and the Prospitian is named Zebra. They’re pretty cool and make good jazz and pop respectively. Hanging out near them is good stress relief. They can also help make good fraymotifs on their downtime, but are otherwise unrecruitable.

Ms Paint

Alignment: Prospit

She’s a rather cute Prospitian who carries a bucket of paint. Humans think she’s just cute girl. Trolls are either disgusted or turned on. It doesn’t help that whoever made this game gave this single carapace boobs. Sometimes dimorphism is good. She also has a weird trait in that nobody can harm her. They all can’t harm such a cute person. Even Jack Noir, who can only feel hate and bloodlust, will go red for her.

Miss Taylor

Alignment: Derse

A timid lady in Derse who works in a clothing shop. Doing favours for her results in new outfits for you Dream and God Tier clothes. A fan favourite. However, there’s another aspect about her people like. She can be recruited, but has no combat capabilities. This is probably a glitch or bug or just mistake, but Guards and Dames can protect her and get bonuses for protecting someone. In fact, GodsGiftToGrinds, author of the SBURB Glitch Faq, actually noted that he survived a case of being the sole survivor of a Session Wipe by utilizing Miss Taylor. Listen to the real pros here.

Parcel Mistress/Parcel Mister

Alignment: Any

Not one carapace so much as multiple carapaces. These guys are WILD. The Mailing companies evidently hire ninjas because these guys will walk across Battlefields, angry Dream Moons, and places like the Land of Glaciers and Magma (because fuck convection) to deliver their mail. They will deliver. The mail will never fail. They also hand out mail-delivery quests, and these are some of the deadliest quests out there. In addition, they’re largely free spirits and will do anything. They can wear the Ring. They can kill players and royalty. They will deliver. Respect these guys.

Prospitian Sheriff/Problem Sleuth/Pulchritude Saint

Alignment: Prospit

The de facto head of the Prospit Agents. He walks around and investigates crimes from Petty to Serious in a hard-boiled manner. But he has a weird quirk in that he treats the petty crimes as Serious and the serious crimes as Petty. Still, good work ethic. He’s handy with a gun, and is otherwise average at everything else. He’s also been known to form a band of detectives and call himself Problem Sleuth.

PS can be recruited by giving him candy corn which is delicious fuck you, finding his flask for him, and unlocking him from his office. He is also fond of racially diverse murals. If you’re an all Alabaster Human session, that option is blocked. Troll Sessions give him an appreciation for hemospectum diverse murals.

If PS gets the Ring, he becomes the Pulchritude Saint. This is extremely powerful, as he also unlocks the [Sepulchritude] Hope ability and uses it. He can potentially use it in his regular form, but it’s hard to unlock. This man will become a beast. He will also eat every candy corn in the universe.

Psychic Initiate/Pickle Inspector/GodHead Pickle Inspector

Alignment: Prospit

The tallest Prospit Agent. He often spaces out and probably has some sort of mental issue or something because he isn’t entirely upstairs. However, he has access to magic powers, and is willing to help you focus your Aspect powers, as well as help the Royalty and assist PS when needed. 

He can be recruited with copious amounts of candy, but be careful, because he will burst with power.

If he gets his hand on the Ring, he becomes GodHead Pickle Inspector (regardless of if he ever was Pickle Inspector) and will quickly become beyond morality and just sit around, provide indirect help, and also regard the Universe. Note that he messes with the session and now you have to breed the Genesis Pickle, and everything gets made out of Pickle Inspector. Don’t worry about it. It’s also better to have a useless GodHead than an empowered Derse Royal/Rogue Agent, so don’t worry about him. He’ll do his own thing.

Relations Officer/Romance Official

Alignment: Prospit

An older Prospitian who is as weird and obsessed as HB, but without the muscle. He knows all about how people interact and facilitates what he calls a “shipping wall”. He’s mostly useless as he will only use the Ring to marry people off, but he does have one cool feature. The shipping wall can keep track of how everyone feels about each other, and Humans without access to the Replayernet can learn about Troll Romance from him.

Stupefied Warrior/Shambling Wrecker

Alignment: Prospit

A big man who stands around the halls of the Prospit Castle. He does guard duty, but if you bribe him with big legs of meat, say hello to some hired muscle. He’ll put anything in the ground with some brutal combat, and is a great tank. Just be aware that he will get stuck in doors.

Warweary Villein/Weakened Vanguard/Whelpish Viscount

Alignment: Any

A class of carapaces more than one person. They live on the battlefield, but they aren’t soldiers. They’re just trying to live, and will hide and starve all the while. They can be counted on to be help in tactician duties if you want to engage the Black King in war, but don’t hold up in combat. They can also experience trauma and PTSD. Help them, let them help you, but don’t break them.

White King

Alignment: Prospit

The leader of the Prospitians on the Battlefield. He’ll ask you for favours in the war that can be done for Reputation and other boons, but he is destined to lose. He may not always die, but he will fall, and his scepter will break. But in your times of need, if you assist him, he’ll be there to catch you.

White Queen

Alignment: Prospit

The Queen of the Prospitians. She stays on the golden planet to provide help and comfort to her subjects. She is a powerful ally, and can provide boons for help. Mutual assistance. She’s also central to a lot of quests, and responsible for most of the Festivals and Celebrations on Prospit. If she dies, the gold planet dies a little, irreparably. When asking things of her, be polite and courteous. She won’t reject or banish you, but she has a long memory.

[theseventhhex]

Froth Interview

Froth

Photo by Jeff Fribourg

After a two-year hiatus, Los Angeles’ noise-rock trio Froth is back with their most fully realised work to date entitled ‘Duress’. Having shared the video for album opener ‘Laurel’ which was created by Courtney Garvin of The Courtneys, this band of impeccable musicianship and an elevated sense of humour has conjured up a lead single that’s a twisted love song underlined with blown out guitars. Froth has never been a band content with the status quo. After three records, scoring the Saint Laurent Men's Fall 2014 line fashion show (with frontman Joo Joo walking in the show), and forays into shoegaze, psychedelia and post-punk, the band of Joo Joo Ashworth, Jeremy Katz and Cameron Allen have stepped outside the shadow of their influences and into something wholly their own. Their latest record is unapologetically experimental yet undeniably accessible. It’s an impressive and self-assured statement from a group only just entering their prime… We talk to Joo Joo Ashworth about old demos, hiding weed and the Los Angeles Dodgers…

TSH: How would you sum up the band’s goals as you readied ‘Duress’?

Joo Joo: Honestly, compared to the previous albums, I feel like we’ve become less of a goal oriented band. I think setting up goals and expectations wasn’t super healthy for us as a band. It can be limiting setting goals for yourself because you need to fit your songs into the idea that you set for yourself. I think now we're more just doing things we like at a pace that works for us.

TSH: Like your previous records, did you look through old demos for material to choose from and agree upon?

Joo Joo: Sort of. There’s never really a shortage of songs that are being written, but in the end we all have to agree on them. Also the demos are getting better and more complete sounding more recently since I decked out my home studio.

TSH: Does working from a place of instinct rather than a place of calculation or strategy suit you?

Joo Joo: Maybe both in different ways. The instinct part of it is the most fun part probably, but strategy helps when you have an idea of what you want something to sound like and you know how to do it or you need to figure out how to do it. Production and techniques in the studio has always been important to us.

TSH: How do you overcome the notion of overthinking when it comes to fleshing out new tunes?

Joo Joo: Overthinking is rarely an issue. The moment the song sounds good to me, I don’t see a problem with it being finished. It's more important to get across the energy of the original song idea than adding part changes, etc. Adding a chorus can be cool but I’m not gonna go out of my way to make a new part because I know it's supposed to have one.

TSH: How many iterations of ‘Laurel’ did you have before you settled on the final version?

Joo Joo: Just one, it was a pretty good demo actually. We even sampled the drums from the demo at the beginning and the screechy feedback noise is also from there. I guess that's the first time we’ve done that.

TSH: What’s the backstory with a track like ‘77’?

Joo Joo: Yeah, I guess that one's pretty different, huh. The album was so close to being done at that point, so writing in the studio felt pretty comfortable. I just had a guitar riff that I was pretty hyped on and I was jamming it with Tomas playing the bassline and the drums from the mpc2k. Probably would have never thought to make the bass in 7 but Tomas is an odd timing freak. Our friend Izzy is a really good singer and she liked the song so I took the stems home and we wrote out and demo’d some vocals for it. It didn’t feel like a real song for a long time and then I didn’t listen to it for a while and when I went back I was like ‘Oh yeah this is a song, sure.’

TSH: How do you feel the band’s latest album ties in with the evolution of Froth’s sound?

Joo Joo: It’s hard to say cause there isn’t really any intention to bring the sound to a new place or anything, but it is nice that the more the music diversifies album to album, the less there restricted we're gonna feel making songs in the future. Most people think of the song Lost My Mind when they think of us so it's a losing battle to begin with.

TSH: Regarding touring, what sort of highlights come to mind when you think of recent road trips?

Joo Joo: We’re very excited to be doing our first tour on this album up the West Coast because it basically like vacation. We like to go swimming in lakes and rivers and drive across state lines with weed. The shows are always sick, there's a ton of good bands and friends in every state. Oh, sometimes we hide weed in a bush before we go into Canada and then try to find it when we come back; I wanna do that again.

TSH: Do you still manage to find time to go see the Dodgers play live?

Joo Joo: Yes! I live super close to the stadium so I’ve been going to a game every couple weeks so far. I'm really proud of my guy Hyun Jin Ryu. Walker Buehler has a couple of rough starts, but he’s young so it’s expected. He’s starting to throw the ball very well now and I think it’s going to be a good year for him. Looking forward to seeing what Julio Urias is going to bring to the table. They got this guy Brian May in the minors that I got to see in an exhibition game - you heard it from me first he’s gonna be a star. Cody Bellinger has made a full transformation into the top hitter in baseball. Alex Verdugo has been incredible - makes me happy we didn’t go for a big star like Harper over the off season. Justin Turner is still hitting the ball well and guiding the team. Clayton Kershaw isn’t what he used to be, but he’s still a great pitcher and with all the young talent now, I don’t think we need to rely on him the way we used to. One time I went to a game with cam and Joc Pederson gave us a shaka.

TSH: What’s pleased you most about the band’s progression to date?

Joo Joo: I’m happy at least to know that we’re getting better with each album. We started without knowing what we were doing at all, and each album has been more tolerable until we’re at this newest one which I think is good! Once we’ve toured and played the songs 2 million times, we might be sick of them though. That tends to happen with our band, but I’m sure it happens to everyone.

TSH: How do you guys like to spend your downtime?

Joo Joo: We all like playing Catan a lot. We have a big group of friends and basically everyone has the game at their house. Games will typically go until 3-4am. I got in trouble one time because I threw my hat at Jeremy’s wife. I watched the video after though, it wasn’t so bad - even though I looked like a huge baby. We can’t bring that game on tour. It will ruin us.

TSH: Finally, what's the best advice that you adhere to?

Joo Joo: My mom told me to spend my money while I’m young because when you’re old there's nothing exciting to buy. Old people just buy nice cars and fancy meals and shit.

Froth - “Laurel”

Duress