#not even a nude but just a photo of YOURS TRUELY

[somaticmilk]

HEY MY TUMBLR PEEPS!!

Random question!!

Is it normal for your friend to ask for a picture of you to masterbate to?

ANSWER NOW! :D

Edit:

Now what if they apologized ?

[charljohnston]

Another wordy post that you’ll all just ignore

As I write this it’s just past 2am. I can’t sleep because of the thoughts that have been in my head for the past 8 hours or so. All evening I have just been sat alone in the dark wondering what the point of me being here is.

I can’t think of anything I have to live for anymore. Every day is the same now. I wake up at the same time every day. I eat the same food every day. Every day I apply for work and every day I get rejected for it. Life is just about wasting as much time as I can before it can finally end.

I peaked at sixteen. SIXTEEN. I can’t think of anything that’s improved in my life in the eight years since then. I have fewer friends. My social anxiety has only gotten worse. I get less exercise. I have a lot less hope for my future.

I just don’t see the point anymore. But almost none of you will care. I wrote on twitter when these thoughts first started coming back and I only got two responses. One said that there was a point because I “looked fabulous,” the other said I there was a point because I “had lots of fans.” Is this all that I have left in life? Appeasing people who almost unanimously are only here for my physical appearance. Because the hobby that I used to enjoy sharing about helps you get your kicks in for another day. Have I basically just become a playboy bunny, only there to be seen as a slab of attractive flesh for a bunch of anonymous fetishists who don’t want to know me for who I really am, who think I do this solely because I want to get them off, who won’t read this or any of the other posts I write pouring my heart out to try and find someone who does actually care and just scroll straight on to the next set of photos?

I remember when I started trying to do the whole asks thing on here. I thought it would be fun answering questions people might have had about me. What type of music are you into? What hobbies to you have? Of course looking back I can only laugh at such a level of ignorance and naivety. No, question after question would ask me if was into other men, how big my penis was, would I ever do lingerie photos, where are my nude photos.

Sometimes I’d respond to DMs too. I’ve pretty much given that up now because it’s no different. It’s just that they would start off a lot more innocently before quickly becoming much more sinister.

Of course, maybe 1% of you guys will actually care at least a little. You might try to reach out to me, ask me how I’m doing, telling me things will get better and be ok. But I’ll just ignore you. That’s part of the curse, the curse of this awful existence I have been plagued with. I don’t want your help even though I so desperately need it.

It is a truely unescapable prison. I will forever be locked in a life where I cannot make friends, get a job or find love with someone who really cares about me. Afterall, if I can’t like me why would anyone else.