#not doing: mimzy zestial emily sera atm i tihnk

[justanotherhh]

FUCK I FORGOT ROSIE (IM A SHAM!): aroace, romance neutral and sex neutraaal/favourable-ish, likes to know things, likes the drama, likes to be involved, and likes the idea of romance, but never sticks with it, it's just the rituals of courtship that get to her every damn time -- it's just that in practice all of these things in your own life are so unsavoury and complicated, not at all as fun as others' love and sex lives. in life definitely got married and was chill about that. i mean, she killed and ate him, but what's the difference in the end? fluids are fluids, eating out is eating out, and flesh is flesh, isn't that what they say down in cannibal town?

aspec headcanons for some hazbin hotel characters (minus alastor, cos that's canon babey)

charlie: allo-ace and bi, potentially leaning on demi-ace in her sex neutrality, but overall really not that interested in sex, beyond how it functions as a partner bonding activity. hasn't actually had sex before vaggie, not because she hasn't had offers -- this is hell after all, sex negativity isn't necessarily the problem -- but because she hasn't been in a relationship she deeply cared about and felt that safe in

vaggie: romance favourable aroallo lesbian, however has to unlearn internal sex negativity after previous bad relationships + some of heaven's more hypocritical ideas about what sex constitutes, and so being with charlie is a good way to slowly explore her attraction. more kinky than she would admit to... yet....

on the whole both of them fit into gaps around each other, and their relationship simply works because they believe in one another -- vaggie becomes attached first, when charlie patches her up, and then charlie, especially when vaggie becomes the biggest fighter for the hotel. that's the structure of their relationship, and the rest can be talked about. vaggie knows how important romance is to charlie and doesn't mind that being a part of their dynamic in the same way she'll join in on the hotel bonding exercises even though they're not really "her thing," and the two of them have sex as a way of being close (and at some point maybe they'll open up their minds to the fact that there's no bond as strong as that forged in bondage...)

niffty: aroallo het. also very kinky, very much the domme in any situation. this wasn't necessarily true while she was alive in practice, but it was in her heart. unfortunately hasn't had much opportunity to put it into practice in hell either, yet, due to being, well, on the far end of the terrifying scale. one of the reasons she and alastor get on so well is that they understand that their ways of relating to people are so different to the norm that they end up somewhere next to each other, even though he's repulsed and she very much isn't. still, they're in hell, someone should get that girl sub, stat! (some kinda big, scary-lookin guy for her to punish ideally)

sir pentious: token allo straight ally ✌ reads all of the literature once he discovers it's a thing. knows more about this than any of the others, even though it doesn't apply to him

cherri bomb: aroallo bi, likes sex, and also likes being swept off her feet, it's just she's too used by now to nobody making a damn effort. she's not romance repulsed, but she's not about to embark on a monogamous romantic relationship with anyone. she likes that someone would be into her romantically, as long as they don't get weird about it. the rituals of romance are fun, someone taking her out for dinner, treating her like she's someone special, not just like a one-night stand, but she's not giving up the one-night stands either. or the orgies! still, nice to have a familiar couple of dicks to return to

husk: i believe the word of god says pan, so let's run with that. on the aspec front my guy has loooooooow sex drive on the whole, and sexual isn't the kind of attraction that he understands in general, but secretly longs for a deeply romantic relationship of some kind, something out of an austen book or a knight in shining armor type myth. you know the kind: he takes the hand of his suitor and almost kisses it, but not quite, wining and dining, perchance even... cuddles..... (if sex is involved he might get with the programme, but it's not something he needs or initiates. this has made it difficult for him to get into relationships in the past)

angel dust: gay and on a spectrum of aspec that is trauma-informed, but also complicated by being naturally hypersexual. doesn't connect sex to attraction, and doesn't feel sexual attraction, so much as sex is a means to an end (scratching an itch, entertainment, power, work, intimacy although it's been awhile since that's been put into practise, etc). not sexually monogamous, and has no idea if he'd be into monogamy romantically either. in fact, is not sure if he is alloromantic, because there's no precedence that isn't related to power and control. may need a whole new kind of language for whatever relationships he'd form (not just with husk, but generally with the hotel gang) that lie outside of the structures he knows

that being said, all he wants is someone treating him gently, whatever kind of relationship that relates to

valentino: aroallo pan, but youknow. evil about it. could just be fucking left right and centre without making it such a big hassle for everyone else, but noooooo he has to go and own their souls too and make things difficult for them, and it's not just because owning souls is good business, he likes the ownership itself. that's part of the kink. does have favourite types of dynamics, in particular likes weird powerplays, whether or not he's topping or bottoming in them

vox: allo grey-ace bi. but evil about it. falls desperately in love and then becomes obsessive and possessive forever over that person, whether or not it turns to hate along the way. val had better watch out he never gets on vox' bad side... angel is already on thin ice simply for being one of val's favourites (RIP). that being said vox isn't really in it for the sex. he's in it for the power. and then every once in awhile he's in it for the sex (but only if it's got power involved). gets deeply weird about it all in a way that signals to everyone that it's a "once in a blue moon vox really wants to fuck val" time, so they can get out of the building sharpish in case it involves disemboweling an employee as foreplay

all of this is why voxval aren't a couple, aren't friends, but a secret, third thing (evil about it)

velvette: aroace, and not evil about it. she's just evil in other ways. honestly think she and alastor could get on in a different afterlife. she's not repulsed, she's simply strongly disinterested and somewhat annoyed with how much space all of this seems to take in everyone's heads to one extent or another. sort of a classic aroace in the way people in the past might have said "she was simply too busy for Romance," and yeah, she is busy, but if she wasn't she'd do literally anything else than get involved with any of *waves hands* that whole thing, just because it does seem to remove everyone's braincells -- she does write most of the voxval smut though. sometimes watches back videos of them going at it. just those two though, that asexual study-like-a-bug fascination. does she get off to it? that's her secret. okay so maybe a little evil about it

carmilla: aroallo (i wanna say bi, considering her and vaggie's tension), but not practising RIP. zestial would in a heartbeat, but she is unfortunately too busy, and not in the "aroace" coding kind of way, she just is. she's got two kids and an arms-business and millions of souls and potential heavenly invasion to think about! but yeah, she might feel more relaxed if she were to read his signs...

lucifer: alloace (bi?), but like. in a "i fucked your ex-wives" bragging rights kind of way. like yeah, he did that, but that's because he'll simp for a beautiful woman, not because he's particularly looking for sex. he'd be happy doing literally anything for a hot woman. big sub praise kink energy. (and this is why lucifer and adam could never have sex without a third-party dom/me involved -- what're two subs gonna do RIP?)

adam: lol, ok idk what would be funnier. alloace? aroallo? aroace? grey? demi? whatever says "talks a big game, but actually wouldn't know what to do with the whole thing if he had the chance, and hasn't had sex since eve left him, and that was kind of a lot of pressure being the only two humans and all, and like, was god watching all that, anyway, yeah ive had sex ive had all the sex (with one woman, missionary style because god might have been watching), did i do a good job, was that okay, of course it was, im not self-conscious about that, i fuckn love vaginas, yeah i can spell that word, can you spell uh, deeznuts, because that's what humanity came from babey, and now i never have to do it again, wait i didn't mean that last bit, anyway... where was i? do you think lucifer was better at sex than me?" -- whatever that is

lute: aroallo lesbian (and evil about it, but she's been indoctrinated, maybe she can chill out one day, we'll see). no, whatever she and vaggie had going on, i feel like it was incredibly toxic, did they have sex? didn't they have sex? did they have whatever a homoerotic subtextual sexual scene would look like? like when you watch those macho soldier movies and one of them is bullying the other into submission and there's a veneer of sweat and shame over the whole thing and close-ups of writhing muscles, but they never appear to have actual sex onscreen... that but with lesbian angels. lute is not over vaggie not submitting to her/her choosing to be in a (spits) "romantic" relationship (with a demon)