#not current team/ don't care
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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I really wonder about Spinel's motivations and the reason he stole Rakurium. He was making his own move and acting independently from Gibeon's orders, since Zir and Conia were spying on him on Amethio's orders. Amethio also suspects him of plotting something.
I wonder if he is working for a third party, which is not the Explorers, though I doubt it because it'd make things a bit too crowded. And from what we've seen of him so far, I don't really see Spinel as someone who'd be involved in a grander scheme (good or bad). He prefers to be alone most of the time and avoids people usually, and he seems to have his own agenda.
Given how the Rakurium is also called "eternal blessing" and that Gibeon mentioned needing more of it for "eminent prosperity", I wonder if it has some healing properties or if it's capable of improving someone's quality of life (which would be the reason why Gibeon wants it)? I wonder if Spinel is doing all of this for someone else's sake, or if there is someone he is willing to do anything for. We know he is capable of love, since Blacky is a friendship evolution, and they are both loyal to each other and love each other. I think it'd be interesting if Spinel was willing to cross some lines and hurt others for a goal that could be considered altruistic.. At the very least, we know that Spinel probably joined the Explorers for his own interests and goals and that he is currently not acting for Gibeon.
#i just hope there's some reasons behind this and not just 'i am evil because something something world domination'#because that'd be very boring (that's why i don't care for the antagonist teams in most of the early pkmn games)#there is potential for an extremely compelling story right here so i'm waiting to see what they do with it#spinel buttering up gibeon when he is in front of him and secretly doing his own thing behind his back is so good. i love him#my current train of thought is that he is probably doing this for someone else (that could change with time the more info we get)#i just don't see spinel as caring enough about people to plot something too grand idk#what are your secrets ikemen etc#spinel#hz054#character notes#episode notes#pokemon spinel
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you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."
#listen on one hand#i think that like#i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title#i think trent changed it because ted asked him to#and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like#'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong'#but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him#anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah#i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing#the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less#maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to#maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted#but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him.#and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him#and that's pretty heartwrenching#but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way''#also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like#ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not#yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not#yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU.#that was you and your philosophy and your attitude.#you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that#none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one#of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy#you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me.#and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact#like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like#your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/#and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place#this community.
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and if i say i hate that one of the uh 5 mentions hel.aena has in f&b is about her being loved by the people in contrast to the public opinion of rhae.nyra at that point and her death sparking a riot only to have to watch her be attacked bc rhae.nyra is the only good queen allowed on the show
#hotd critical#* out of character: { dreamfyre stan }#the people not caring who's in the throne so long as their needs are met is a valid point to make#but i don't have to like the way it's done or the fact hel.aena literally got NOTHING from the book so far#nothing with dream.fyre#nothing from the coro.nation#b&c was. hm#and her grief is never truly addressed#and she can't be a well liked queen either bc that's for rhae.nyra only c':#not a bad episode overall but unfortunately i was upset jkandkjsndkjn#it's ok i feel ok i ranted about it for an hour with my cousin already akdsjnfkasjdnf#(i could go on for longer. i never shut up about characters i'm attached to especially when they're portrayed in some way i don't like)#after that she asked me about the end of the dance and was surprised to learn how long aeg.on lives. also lar.ys#we watch the show together#and she's team whichever characters she finds interesting or entertaining which currently means ae.gon is high on the list#anyways. i have Thoughts about show!hel.aena and few of them are good 🤷#none of this is a dig at rhae.nyra or those who like her btw#i just don't like how the show portrays her#and i don't like the changes it makes to other characters and situations to fit that
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the love of my entire life
#valtteri filppula#no one cares but i'm still gonna rant about this because you don't understanddddd#he's objectively one of the most succesful finnish hockey players. no not just in my biased opinion he really is!!#no other finn has won the triple gold (the stanley cup + olympic gold + world championships gold)#in the latter two he was also the captain of the team 😭#1000+ games played in the NHL#he's also won the swiss league and the CHL#he could have retired. moved to florida and bathe in his money#but what does he do? comes back to play in his home team 19 years after he left#(if we don't count the few games he played here in the NHL lock-out season 2012-13 before he got injured)#in his home team that currently does not even play in the top division??#as one of the owners of the team?? practically for FREE?!#because he wants to give back to his team and help them back to the top division 😭#i mean. what kinda person does that?? 😭😭😭😭😭#i'm bawling at how he walked in the locker room for the first time and introduced himself to everyone (with his nickname!!)#as if all them didn't know exactly who he was. come on he's a living legend??#he said he wants to be treated like everyone else in the team. they're just some boys#and he's won pretty much everything you can win in this sport#look how stark the locker room is in comparison to what he got used to in the fucking NHL and the swiss league 😭#at 40 years of age he's gonna be sitting in the same bus with these youngsters through the darkest of finland's winter#again i cannot emphasize enough that he could have retired to e.g. florida where he used to play for many years#(and where i think his wife is from? but i'm not sure so don't quote me on that)#he's so humble so smart so polite so friendly and on top of that he is handsome as fuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i've never had the chance to meet him but this season i really hope i can. although i'll probably cry loads and make an idiot out of myself#i was bawling my eyes off just watching him skate on the ice in his first match this season. it all felt so surreal. he's home again 😭#i've loved him for a thousand years (or just 20. but it feels like thousand years)#i'll love him for a thousand more 💙
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dc is doing a little mini relaunch after the current crossover finishes and honestly thank god because literally only two of their current ongoings interest me but there's a bunch of fun looking stuff happening in november that i might actually look at. and also it's starting series for several guys who should have had ongoings this whole time like the fucking JUSTICE LEAGUE
#i.e. black lightning JSA question batgirl. and i'll keep up with justice league now that they actually HAVE an ongoing#insane that it just wasn't happening for so long. why did they do that.#now i might actually take an interest in the mainline crossovers if there's a series that they're actually building from#then again. if it's crap i probably won't stick with it#but like marvel has three avengers books running concurrently CONSTANTLY. and yet dc hardly ever has justice league stuff going on#a team book is just. the obvious place to do all that stuff. cos i'm not reading batman i do not CARE about batman#but the new justice league has flash and black lightning and martian manhunter and other guys who i think are cool outside the Trinity guys#also i'm thinking i'll have a look at the 'absolute' universe. yes we are pointing and laughing at the batman design but it seems like an#interesting concept. and also extremely funny that they're going oh fuck marvel relaunched ultimates we have to do something like that too#but actually looking at the ACTUAL premise of the thing. it's more about making an extremely stripped back version of each character#designed to be at their lowest with no support systems in place#idk how it'll turn out. might be too edgy and angst filled for my tastes.#but it looks worth a look#for the record the two series i'm actually readign currently are poison ivy and the flash.#flash i'm actually collecting (i got in when it started and am yet to be disappointed)#lily dot tee ex tee#my pull list is getting so long. and my actual pull list of comics i'm buying is getting a bit much too#but i do not regret impulse subscribing to The Power Fantasy having just read issue 1. it's INCREDIBLE.#i've stopped getting ultimate x men tho. was good but i don't think really worth the money of getting it physically. i'll just pirate.#and tbh the current dr who run is eh. and also only a 4 issue limited series. but it's dr who comics of course i'm collecting it anyway.#immortal thor is a thousand times worth the money tho holy SHIT that book is SO GOOD and i'm SO GLAD i'm reading it physically#sorry i don't comicspost often but i had. a lot of thoughts.
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The first draft of a short story, which I wrote a while ago, is completed. I'm not going to post it on AO3, for a variety of reasons: it's in horrible state right now, the last hundred words is pretty graphic (more than I'm comfortable putting under this pen-name for now), and it requires a lot of editing. But man - I reread it today, and it's good. It has potential, even on its own (it's a prequel, from a different POV, to Hands Made for Gentleness).
I have no current deadline, but I intend to revise and eventually self-publish as a short ebook (it's around three thousand words currently, but I think it's got potential to expand into a longer story, to about ten thousand, given that I wrote it as a missing scene of sorts for Hands Made for Gentleness, rather than its own piece).
I would intend to publish in ebook form (ideally cover art by myself, but since I'm no good artist, I may not be able to convey what I want), at either no cost or $0.99, because of the length.
So, I guess, semi-official announcement:
The short story is titled The Boy who loved Butterflies.
I'll wait to announce on my website until I've figured things out more. However, I plan to do at least one editing pass before the end of next month, and once I've done that I'll have more of an idea what needs working on with it.
(Also! If anyone's wondering why I haven't mentioned publication dates for Sparks Under Heaven, the answer is that I'm still working through line edits, and that's very slow because of what's going on for me mentally.)
(Please reblog to signal boost, if you would.)
#the boy who loved butterflies#hands made for gentleness#microdosing on marketing#(original fiction that I care about edition)#I may post the original last few hundred words to AO3 at some point I don't know#but I can guarantee that it would not exist in this finished story#also! as always open call for betareaders#I need to acquire a launch team and - oh‚ I don't know. All sorts of things!#And rating/trigger warnings as always I can answer at any point with my current knowledge of how any story's going#writeblr
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*cracks knuckles* well if I'm gonna work on my OCs and now that someone's reminded me how actually tragic Echo is
Let's talk about Jasmine and her relationship with Echo
I feel like they would get really close if they ever met. I think Julien would tell Echo about her in a way he wouldn't tell Zane because he was scared Zane would tell others someday. Echo won't ever leave the lighthouse, so he can't tell anyone. He would know about Julien's other child, but he would figure it's Zane, the one he replaced. When they meet, once they figured out they were related, I think Echo would realize and want to tell Jasmine what he knows. Julien wanted to know her but couldn't. He left her because it's what was best for her. I think Echo would want to imagine Julien left him for those kinds of reasons too.
I think they would bond over being abandoned by Julien. Jasmine before she was born, Echo long after. I think they'd each envy each other, in a way. They both resent him (even if they won't admit it), but Jasmine resents him never being there. Echo resents him being there so much, only to leave him. Echo would fill in the gaps for Jasmine on who he was, while Echo is more eager to hear about the life Jasmine lived in the wide world, especially on her own.
I think they'd have a super close bond, I think they should visit Jasmine's home and have a snowball fight, I think she should take him to Borg Industries and watch Echo go starry eyed at all the cool technology, I think Jasmine would help replace his rusted gears and wires with ones that won't deteriorate as easily, i think she'd teach him how to garden and befriend animals and i think echo would be so thrilled to get away from the sea
I think if Echo and Jasmine ever got to meet, they'd find a comfort in each other and a confidant about some of their issues that no one else could provide
#dr. julien stop replacing your children after losing one challenge (impossible)#i do like him i accept that characters can do fucked up things and i can still like them but damn bro#he really left his youngest kid to fucking rot in a prison while he ran off with the oldest#if i was echo i would also have a (scrapped) villain arc#anyways jasmines relationship with either of her brothers makes me a little feral but echo especially#i currently don't plan for her to know like. how he became part of the ninja replacement team#so she can't rescue him after skybound even if she wants to#but i do want them to meet. i need echo to be freed and have a family man#they both understand loving but resenting julien#also echo being so fascinated by the outside world is so interesting to me#he's only known the world on that tiny island so jasmine would take him anywhere he wanted#the oldest and youngest sibling should have the tightest bond#they would also both be close with zane too but he also has a much more. rosy view of julien#so there are certain things they wouldn't want to tell him bc bro i do kinda wish i was you#also yes this is against canon. i don't care. julien was part of the previous generation of ems and zane is about the same age as the other#my fanon my rules /lh#anyways#jasmine bucket#echo julien#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago ocs
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is clover canonically dead? i am big concern LOL, amazing comic btw (talking abt the one where they play cards :))
yes <3
#ask#bakuspeech#lol I'm not walking back their death. that means rendering that whole comic meaningless. no sire#I simply have to grapple with the notion and practice of introducing a character at the point of their death and what that means!#at the current point the only person who truly knows clover is acacie. even I don't have the full deets on them lol#but I know for sure that comic is the end point of clover's arc. he's practicing his learned understanding of having a connection#and his life affecting someone not because they owe each other anything. but because they care#it's why he goes find acacie first. he wants acacie to have at least some closure.#man. I really need to get on that follow-up comic of acacie being given clover's team and turning the offer down#these two are both huge contrarians lmao. clover even in death
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pretty cringe of me to be freaking out over not meeting a requirement that I knew I was being lax about but didn't know was an actual hard and fast Rule
#it's the guilt (not working as hard as i should be) mixed with the fear (consequences looming but not certain)#mixed with the utter mortification (getting caught objectively and provably slacking)#truly the catholic guilt does not leave you alone even when you know that there was a well intentioned mistake in with the bad decision#like yes i Did let the response time go too long and i knew that as i was doing it but if i knew it was going to reflect on the team and not#just me i would have been more conscientious#and i Was depressed for a bunch of last year so like. my numbers are demonstrably a little bit shit across the board. but still#i do care and i don't want to do badly#i'm just falling prey to my old enemy thinking i could put things off until i was feeling capable#exactly as i'm doing right now#it's embarrassing to have my new boss' scrutiny on me too#she's a much shrewder boss than any i have previously had and she's kind of a hardass for someone so personable#my previous boss was very chill and when she's not happy she tends to issue a directive and leave us to achieve it w/o making it personal#and the one before that was a new manager who cut me a lot of slack bc she had a lot on her plate and not much experience#whereas my current one if she gets a suspicion about your work i get the impression she starts to audit you#and you'd better keep your work squeaky clean and keep your receipts#not an easy person to win back lost trust with#an uncomfortable position to be in for someone like me who's never been good at maintaining a steady and impeccable workflow#i've always had a surge -> crash kind of productivity cycle#but i've never been in a spot before where i feel like that is a genuine risk to my job and i do not love it#ugh#so deeply deeply anxious#nothing i can do but catchup overtime and try to do better
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When you form your own grid on top of the grid it doesn't mean the owner of the Grid can't come Knocking
#oh father is a dark one for sure but I learned to calm those demons when they came my way#they were not used to the light that cast them#always serving elsewhere redirected but the Master Source they always listen to#the weird crimes the A-team revealed yanno#when I was a kid I just liked Mr T calling everyone sucks#sucka*#I just needed someone to watch the stash is all 🤔#bruh this is God's snow now sucka#I have gone opposite now it would be nice but I don't future tweek very well#now boning that I can do all day long until I realize my cock isn't gonna get sucked#even if I cloned myself I wouldn't give myself a hand job#I wouldn't even let you gove him a hard on#I mean I can't tell if you wanted me to get hard or not but there it is yanno#you can see why I try not to let timhis happen in public....um I guess it's obvious according to your face....fuck#I am always looking for Orion's belt out there#and it is close to polaris so not a hard find#you were just dying to tell me liquid spillage isn't covered under your warranty#a war rant....probably#I would come with that knowing me#the spectral wings of The Archangel arrive with Lucifer#mom must have sensed the Michael perception we had in the womb#it would have been nice to whisper to her as she went oh you remember that girl tjat called herself tara mom right before she left yanno#I was just like....well if you want to hang out with my mom I don't care go ahead#I am gonna dig regardless#did we get a night in the tent?#the dog would have been there#if you have that dog and you sleep out in a tent the dog must come#WT would have considered it rude if I didn't have him for a night in the yard#he would look at me and let me know his intent and his want of the current situation#I loved petting him above his hair and making his hair stand up there
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the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell
#not enough to go to therapy but at least now i know what i should work on#correct me if i'm wrong but most people probably don't start to feel suicidal if there's like. a problem at work#i've been asked to support the back office and help with managing cases which is okay i guess. but i'm not a support team person so#i don't know how to do a lot of things despite using the learning resources provided by the workplace#and this one case i'm handling was rather easy on the surface. no info in sys so parcel can't move forward. ask origin to release data. eas#but then origin says that they can't because they get an error message when putting in receiver's acc number. ruh roh#if origin can't release data no one can. i've asked them to handle it with IT but had no response. in the meantime the other involved CS#started getting involved and now a production in a factory is stopped. and i know it's not my fault but i could've done better#acted faster. thought smarter. and i hate this kind of responsibility. and that i care too much#i've cried so much today i'm so tired. from the stress of this task i've been given and because of the IT issues popping in all the time no#i logged into work 45 minutes late because the VPN i've been using shit itself and i had to get a backup one#i should've gotten it installed ages ago but nooo let's do that laterrrrr you definitely won't regret that#i hate having to put up with this bitch (me) .#another thing is. it's currently summer vacation season so i'll have to brace myself for more support work to come. it's probably gonna go#just as bad if not worse. i'm so not cut out for this. i'll have to ask my boss if he can move me to a different service#so i can have an excuse like sorry i can't help i'm no longer associated with tnt~#but that's gonna have to wait until he;s back from his vacation in august . oh well#also all this stress might result in me getting something akin to an ED#my stress response other than crying and shaking is not feeling hunger. i ate something substantial at 5pm and had breakfast at 6am#between that i had two small pieces of candy and water#i'm already bad at feeding myself or at the very least eating nutritious food . this could make me worse#“oh but kav everyone makes mistakes and it's important to learn from them! keep fighting!” bitch i don't want to i didn't sign up for this#if i wanted to work for Support Team i'd have applied there. i did not wish to get involved with them and their work#sorry i needed to get this out of my system. i'll probably complain to some irls too but i might be able to do that without crying now#laments#<- i think this is going to be my vent tag
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got a rapid onset of a tension headache from something work-related on top of existing fatigue on top of making so many mistakes at work 😁👍👍
#once again feeling like im not gonna make it past 30 and i don't. even care#the anxiety and the perfectionism and the crushing weight of living in current times#are tag-teaming on my health-
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HONEY (R U COMING?) — SE-MI (PLAYER 380)
◜ pairing ... se-mi / player 380 x fem reader
◜arrogant and bratty reader (044) recruiting se-mi (380) for the second game
𔗨 author's note — wasn't seeing enough fanfics for my baby so ... [lowercase intended]
"i dont see anyone else that's good enough for us" you hear gyeong-su comment with a huff.
you're currently standing with three idiots—thanos, gyeong-su, and nam-gyu, slightly distanced from the three with your arms crossed against your chest and while your twirl your hair.
"yo thanos, what are we going to do?" nam-gyu's irritating voice cut through all the noise of other people communicating.
thanos turned to him, his head bopping, motherfucker's high again. "i don't fucking care man, let them come to us. i mean, who wouldn't want to be with the great thanos!"
both men chuckled as nam-gyu speaks up once again, "what about you 044? make yourself useful, can't just sit pretty doing nothing eh?".
"and you call yourself useful?" you scoff as you turned around to face the three, eyebrows raised. thanos smirked at you as you sighed, "fine, i'll make myself useful. no one would probably even care to join you, even if you begged."
"you bitc—" nam-gyu would've reached you already if it weren't for thanos holding him back while cackling at the both of you.
with one last huff, you strutted your way to the crowd, scanning around the room for someone who met your personal standards—hot, unbothered, and most specially, a woman.
your eyes landed on a person wearing a jacket with the number '380'. with a confident smirk, you walked towards the woman whose back is facing you and talking to someone.
"leave." your voice broke their conversation as they both looked at you. you eyes were darted to the boy specifically, him being the one you told to leave.
"w-what?" the boy stuttered, looking at you bewildered.
you furrow your eyesbrows, taking a step closer to the boy, "do i seriously need to get you hearing aids? i said leave."
the boy scrambled away before you can even take your second step to him. with a pleased smile, you turned to the utterly attractive woman who looked at you with an amused expression.
"join me." short and straight to the point. you were confidently sure that she would just say yes and come with you— surely, who in their right minds would turn down a pretty girl's offe-
"why should i?" she voices out. oh. my. fucking. god is her voice so alluring. her looks already made your legs feel like jelly and then comes her voice?— yes lord.
snapping out of your fantasies, you furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at her with an expression that read 'how dare you?'
"a-are you serious? why shouldn't you?" you looked at her up and down in attempt to intimidate her, but really just an excuse to check her out.
"can't just expect me to join you after rudely making the boy i was talking to leave, sweetheart." she crosses her arms as she made her way closer.
sweetheart. heat rushed to your cheeks and you scoff, rolling your eyes.
"what do you want me to do then? he doesn't look like someone who's good enough to join forces with in a death game like this anyways." you rebut.
"and you think you're good enough?" she smirks at you. before you could even utter another word, she straights up and looks down at you—caused by height difference, making you feel small— and chuckles.
"what's your name and give me one good reason why i should join you."
you told her your name, which made you sound too eager for your liking, before you straightened yourself up and flicked you hair to the back.
"i'll make sure you win. team up with someone who actually looks like they're capable of winning instead of someone who looks like a lost puppy." your eyes darted to the boy she was talking to earlier who was now talking to other people before returning your gaze to her.
she crosses her arms and brings a finger to her mouth to bite down on and stares at you, which made you scream internally. what the fuck. how can someone be this hot?
after some silence between you two, she spoke up "fine. but if i lose, i'll come for you."
huh. 'come for me?' won't be such a bad idea, right? the thoughts made you smirk as you boldy traveled your eyes over her figure.
"oh, i think you have me mistaken. i won't mind at all if you came for me" your voice sounded innocent, but your words were laced with an obvious innuendo.
"oh?" she smirks. before you could even let her finish her sentence, you speak up once again to avert the topic.
"how will you come for me if you die anyways?" you roll your eyes to try and hide your flustered state. "which, by the way, you won't. my group is decent, me being the best member of course."
and as if on cue, thanos and the two made their way to the both of you, his annoying voice dominating the noise surrounding you.
"there you are doll, been lookin for you." you scoff at his words as thanos turns to face 380, which you still don't know the name of, "and who is this señorita?"
you opened your mouth to say something but 380 beat you to it. "se-mi. she recruited me." she says, nodding to you.
moanable name. you thought.
"really? another woman? you already make this team weak." nam-gyu yaps as he turns to face you, saliva escaping his mouth. filthy.
you scoff as you step away and point your finger at him, "fucking shut your mouth. you haven't done shit to this team. your ass can't fucking talk."
before a fight between you two broke out, gyeong-su already restrained nam-gyu. thanos whistles, "well. there's that."
the purple-haired man throws his arm over your shoulders and faced nam-gyu. "let's not talk shit now eh? we're a fucking team!" he yells as he raised his free arm up, "try not to kill each other off, we still have games to play."
nam-gyu rolls his eyes and se-mi watches the scene unfold, snickering.
"now come on my folks, come on." thanos frees you from his hold as he walked through the crowd, arms spread as if bragging, with nam-gyu and gyeong-su following.
your lips unsubconsciously turn into a pout as you turned to face se-mi, who was already looking at you.
"cute." she eyes you up and down and starts walking towards thanos' direction. your mouth opens as if you let out a silent gasp at what she said and just stared.
she realized you weren't following so she stopped and turned her head to look at you.
"coming?" she smirks
oh i'm definitely coming.
@misayani
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#se-mi x reader#squid game smut#୭ ୨♡୧ ৎ misa writes ...
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“The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”
― James Baldwin
the way colonizers unchild Palestinian kids is so heartless and disturbing. colonialism crushes children's dreams ON PURPOSE to try to destroy indigenous people's futures.
Wafaa's nephew Ahmed is 17. Because of this genocide, he went from playing soccer on his high school team, to playing with the other kids in his refugee camp in the rare moments between his odd jobs to support his family during famine, and volunteering as an aid worker to help other families. Ahmed lost many of his teammates, including his best friend Mahmoud, who he saw martyred.
Ahmed's cousin Yazid is 18. He planned to marry his high school sweetheart after their first year of college, but the genocide stopped their education. Yazid's fiancee's father was martyred and Yazid is now working to support both his family and hers. He also volunteers alongside Ahmed, risking their lives as the genocidal IOF targets aid workers -- Ahmed has even been injured by drones targeting him.
I'm not saying all this to make them look like superheros (although they are both wonderful people). I just want you all to see how totally the genocide has shattered their childhoods, and how much they have to struggle to resist that violence and hold the pieces together, and how the free world has failed to care for them.
fortunately there is a way we can help them.
Wafaa @wafans-blog is currently raising money to evacuate Ahmed and Yazid. This is time sensitive -- she needs to pay the registration fees to Hala Company within the next 2 days, by August 11th.
The full amount needed to evacuate Wafaa's entire family is $80,000; to cover the upcoming fees we need to get to $40,000 by the 11th. We're nearly there but donations are slowing.
Please reblog, and most importantly, donate any amount you can spare. Those $5s add up if enough people help. So much of the world is so hostile to Palestinian boys, please stand up for Yazid and Ahmed and help them escape. Don't let them get separated from their family, don't leave them behind.
August 9th: $35,914 / $40,000
plain text and tags under the cut
PT:
“The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”
― James Baldwin
the way colonizers unchild Palestinian kids is so heartless and disturbing. colonialism crushes children's dreams on purpose to try to destroy indigenous people's futures.
Wafaa's nephew Ahmed is 17. Because of this genocide, he went from playing soccer on his high school team, to playing with the other kids in his refugee camp in the rare moments between his odd jobs to support his family during famine, and volunteering as an aid worker to help other families. Ahmed lost many of his teammates, including his best friend Mahmoud, who he saw martyred.
Ahmed's cousin Yazid is 18. He planned to marry his high school sweetheart after their first year of college, but the genocide stopped their education. Yazid's fiancee's father was martyred and Yazid is now working to support both his family and hers. He also volunteers alongside Ahmed, risking their lives as the genocidal IOF targets aid workers -- Ahmed has even been injured by drones targeting him.
I'm not saying all this to make them look like superheroes (although they are both wonderful people). I just want you all to see how totally the genocide has shattered their childhoods, and how much they have to struggle to resist that violence and hold the pieces together, and how the free world has failed to care for them.
fortunately there is a way we can help them.
Wafaa @/wafans-blog is currently raising money to evacuate Ahmed and Yazid. This is time sensitive -- she needs to pay the registration fees to Hala Company within the next 2 days, by August 11th.
The full amount needed to evacuate Wafaa's entire family is $80,000; to cover the upcoming fees we need to get to $40,000 by the 11th. We're nearly there but donations are slowing.
Please reblog, and most importantly, donate any amount you can spare. Those $5s add up if enough people help. So much of the world is so hostile to Palestinian boys, please stand up for Yazid and Ahmed and help them escape. Don't let them get separated from their family, don't leave them behind.
August 9th: $35,914 / $40,000
/ end PT
lmk if you don't want to be tagged next time! ty!
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