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writingfics-passingtime · 3 years ago

Text

Trust

Word Count: ~5000

Pairing: Loki x gender neutral reader (romantic)

This fic is based on this prompt from a lovely anon who asked for a story in which the reader is terrified of tickling due to past experiences. Over time, Loki helps them discover it can be fun.

CW: Bad experiences with non-consensual tickling. Some PG-13 touching, overt mentions of sex, swearing

You really didn’t want to be that stereotypical young Agent falling for their coworker; seriously, you’d sworn to yourself you’d never date someone you worked with. Ever. But Loki wasn’t technically a coworker. He did occasionally help out on missions, but he’d sooner put himself back in Odin’s dungeon than call himself an Avenger. Besides, he’d changed. He really had. You hadn’t known him when he was tyrannical and hurting, but you knew him now. At least, you were pretty sure you knew him. Who would know him better than the one person he seemed to seek out for conversation?

Those things, and a laundry list of others depending on the day, were the things you told yourself to justify late night after late night spending time with him, just him, trading stories and drinking steaming mugs of whatever had felt right when sifting through the cupboards.

He had many more stories than you, for obvious reasons, and his stories tended to be much more exciting. He seemed to catch himself and rescind when he felt he’d been talking for too long. He’d ask you something about yourself, your past, then ask you to elaborate. He’d bring you into his stories, create dialogue, even when it was painfully obvious that’s exactly what he was doing.

“… and there was a obscenely large mob of the brutes- you don’t have Draugr on Midgard, do you? Not anymore, anyways.”

You’d smile and think, You’ve studied our realm, Loki. You know we don’t have the undead Draugr here, but you’d say “No. Thank goodness, cause they sound awful. Have you fought many?”

And he’d spin a tale of triumph, disaster, highs and lows, great victories and the humour along the way. There was almost always humour, with Loki. You could tell when a story wouldn’t be involving anything to break the tension based on the way he’d hold himself as he began the yarn, and you’d adjust accordingly into a posture of listening and non-judgement. It felt intimate to be told those tales. In fact, it was the only kind of intimacy you’d really felt with him so far.

You’d heard the tales from Thor’s lips of conquests past, which didn’t really bother you except for the fact that it seemed so easy to them. Not that you’d blame them for seeking out the fun and the feeling-good, but it made you wonder why Loki had never… tried anything with you. Never laid on the charm, never overtly flirted past the teasing comments he’d give anyone.

The more hopeful part of you decided that it must mean your connection was different to his other relationships - using relationship in the broadest sense of the word. The more nervous part of you wondered if perhaps he’d just never waste his time on a mortal. But… no. He’d been with mortals before. Nothing substantial, but certainly for fun. Maybe he didn’t see you as fun. That kind of sucked to think about. Or, maybe he saw you as much more.

It was complicated. In your head, at least.

Late one evening, it all came to a head in perhaps the way you’d have least liked it to come about. You wanted answers, for sure, but not at the cost of your self-esteem.

You were sitting on the couch with him, both of your backs against the high arms on either end of the three-seater. Your knees were bent and your feet rested by his thighs, his own legs crossed and half-off the couch. He was so tall, his legs so long, that they could rest mostly on the couch and still be planted regally on the floor. Your empty tea mugs sat on coasters, which sat on the glass coffee table, having long been drained over and over during your conversation that’d now spanned for nearly three hours. Hardly a course record.

“These late-night conversations are going to make me a bad Agent,” you complained, folding your fingers on your lap with a cheeky smirk. “Are you trying to get the one-up on me, Prince of Asgard?”

“What ever do you mean?” He half-grinned, cocking his head with a curious glance.

“Getting me all sleep-deprived before training tomorrow,” you challenged teasingly. “I know we’re scheduled to spar. Are you trying to dull my senses?”

“Are you calling me dull?”

“Are you admitting your intentions?”

“Darling, I’d hardly need to dull your senses to get you right where I want you,” he chuckled and squeezed at your foot, causing you to sniffle and flinch it away. His gaze snapped up to meet yours, a dark and mischievous smile creeping over his features. “Oh?” He smirked, cocking his head the other way, reaching over and once again flitting his fingers against your socked foot.

“H-hey,” you giggled nervously, pulling your foot into yourself. But Loki was too fast for you, snatching your ankle and pulling it towards him, around him, pulling you flat on your back on the couch as he made quick work of partially pinning you with his body.

“Ticklish, are we?”

He had no way of knowing.

“Loki, wait.”

It really wasn’t his fault. You’d never blame him.

“Oho, this will be fun.”

However, the second those words left his mouth, you felt your stomach twist into a sour sickly knot and your mind was shot back to how your first ever boyfriend loved to tickle you.

Not in a cute way. Not in a nice way. Never for fun.

You didn’t want to watch the movie he wanted to? He locked your ankles in the crook of his elbow and tickled your feet until you agreed, and then kept going until you were coughing and gasping for breath. If you wanted to stay hanging out with your friends but he wanted to go elsewhere, he’d hold you face-down and tickle your ribs in front of them as he taunted you for being a ‘little ticklish baby.’ One time you dared to giggle at his reaction when his sports team lost and he turned to you with darkened eyes, smirked, and told you he’d give you something to laugh about. That‘s probably the night most etched into your memory, considering how long it went on for. When he left, you knew you had to break up with him. It hadn’t mattered how many times you asked him to stop. He didn’t stop until he wanted to, long after your overwhelmed tears had begun flowing. If the word “stop” didn’t mean anything to him, you couldn’t trust him.

You’d only casually dated one or two people since and it wasn’t something you’d had to talk about with them, because it hadn’t really come up. You’d had your sides playfully squeezed or some fingers flit along the bottoms of your feet, but not since that first boyfriend had you been in this position: rendered immobile with the very overt threat of someone about to exploit how ticklish you were.

Your stomach kept twisting as you watched Loki’s features morph into a devious playfulness, and it felt like your burning heart was in your throat. Opening and closing your mouth, you struggled to find the words.

‘Stop’ hadn’t worked in the past. What if it didn’t work again? Loki was exponentially stronger than your ex-boyfriend and he was the God of Mischief for crying out loud. How much more merciless could he be?

As Loki brought a single hand down to experimentally dig his fingers into your side, the pure reactionary side of your brain made the decision for you.

The second his fingers touched down, you let out a loud whimper and hot tears sprang to your eyes. “Loki, STOP!” You all but screamed. He flinched hard, his eyebrows knitting together. His hand froze, but was on your side. You looked at it and your breathing got quicker, lighter, you sniffed and winced, bucking your hips underneath him. “Get off me, get OFF!” You started panicking and Loki immediately whipped his hand away with a look of concern, holding his hands up in surrender to show you they weren’t anywhere near you as he carefully stepped off your struggling body. “Get ohoff me,” you cried. Feeling humiliation wash over you, you felt the stinging of tears and saw how they began to blur your vision.

“I’m off, I’m off,” Loki said in a soothing voice. “I won’t touch you.”

Your hands whipped up to cover your burning face, feeling so indescribably embarrassed at your reaction. But you couldn’t help it. You sniffed, wiping your tears as fast as you could, but knowing your trembling lower lip would bring more over the edge eventually. You sighed, using all the power in you to not cry any further. Right now, at least. “I‘m sorry, I just-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Loki comforted with a hint of sadness in his voice, standing up straight and politely. “I understand it can be repulsive, to have someone like me touching you. I apologise. I’ll leave.”

“Wait, please,” you sat up and grabbed his hand before he could take too many steps. He seemed surprised by it, but then his gaze met your glassy eyes and he softened. “It’s not you,” you assured, maybe a little to urgently. “Please. It’s not you.” You squeezed his hand. “Don’t go.”

Loki slowly, hesitantly, took a seat next to where your knees had slightly bent when you sat up. He perched on the edge of the middle cushion as he looked at your hand in his. “Forgive me… I’m having trouble following,” he gave a tight, nervous smile.

“I um…” You took a deep breath in, then looked off to the side. “It’s embarrassing. Ugh, it’s so embarrassing,” you whined, taking your hand back to hide your face behind all ten of your fingers. He didn’t pry them from your eyes, or pressure you with his words, or threaten to leave. He just sat with you as you worked up the courage to murmur, “I can’t handle being tickled.”

“I… see?”

You removed your hands from your face and fidgeted them in your lap. “I-I understand the playful appeal, I really do, but it‘s only ever been used against me. My ex, he- he‘d use it to make me do something, or… to embarrass me,” you mumbled.

Loki nodded understandingly, and you could have sworn his jaw clenched when you brought up your ex. “That was not my intention.”

”I know, I know,” you reached a hand out and put it over his. “Loki, I trust you and I really, really like having you close. This wasn’t about you, this was just my brain reacting to what it sees as dangerous situation,” you squeezed his hand before letting it go, waiting with bated breath to see if you’d just royally screwed up any potential connection you’d begun to feel. Surely he’d now be put off the person who screamed at him when he was only trying to be his playful self.

“Rest assured, Agent,” Loki gave a soft and kind smile, this time reaching out to take your hand, “I won’t try that again without your expressed permission.”

You smiled thankfully in return and then laughed nervously, “Thank you, but I don’t know if you’ll be getting my expressed permission any time soon.”

Loki shrugged. “You said you saw the playful appeal,” he pointed out. “Believe you me, who better to help you enjoy such things than the God of Mischief himself?” He winked and you blushed, but you breathed out a laugh nonetheless. He squeezed your hand before gently swiping his thumb over your palm. “Your trust is important to me,” his thumb then brushed over your wrist, leaving soft tingles in its wake. “I suppose I can find other ways to subtly show my affection.”

You held your breath at that, then a shy smile broke onto your cheeks. “You were trying to flirt?” You giggled and gave him an endeared look.

“It did not go as planned,” he grimaced thoughtfully.

You smiled again, “No. But… it didn’t exactly backfire.”

Because, well shit: there was nothing sexier than someone who respected your boundaries.

The affection between you two only grew over the next several weeks, the flaming wings of romance having well and truly risen from the ashes of that disastrous attempt at playfulness.

You two were as inseparable as you could professionally be; never compromising a mission, never missing anything important, still making sure to show up at team gatherings, and, much to Loki’s chagrin, keeping the PDA to a minimum.

People had questions. Of course they did. A young Agent, the newest Avenger, falling head over heels for the demigod who’d nearly laid waste to their home planet less than a decade ago? You were known for your instincts so either everyone got you wrong, or Loki had truly changed. Perhaps you could see what they couldn’t from behind the murky tint of their history. So, they had questions. How it started, how it was going, were you official?

You wouldn’t really call Loki your boyfriend, not to his face anyway, considering it didn’t seem to be a title befitting of a Prince. Or a god. It didn’t capture the whole elegant picture of him. It was insufficient. So was lover, considering he was much more than that. The title would certainly befit his amorosity, but it didn’t catch the depth of the connection you shared. You’d tried to catch snippets of the way Thor would speak of you two, to get some kind of idea of how another Asgardian would describe your togetherness, but nothing ever seemed to meet your eavesdropping ear.

So, for now, you were just together.

Emotionally, mentally, theoretically. Physically, too - right now, in fact, you were nestled into his side watching a movie on the TV in your room. Content, warm, comfortable, his arm was wrapped around your back and holding you close to him with a hand on your waist.

Being a person who loved physical touch, you hardly minded that Loki had a difficult time keeping his hands off you when you were alone. You couldn’t blame him after having to be so restrained, so diplomatic and proper, keeping his hands to himself under the watch of the others. So the second the door closed he was usually onto you, much to your enthusiastic delight. Sometimes kissing you sweetly, sometimes kissing you roughly as he backed you into a wall, sometimes pulling you in to wrap you up in his arms, or throw you over his shoulder and declare you were not leaving the bed until he’d seen you smile. He did that last one on hard days.

Today wasn’t a hard day. So right now his hand had slipped under your shirt and was resting on the bare skin of your side. He’d sometimes shift his hand or run it along your skin with the perfect amount of pressure to not tickle you, and he was always quickly apologetic if he accidentally made you flinch or squeak.

He often trailed and traced patterns into your back, but tonight he began absentmindedly doing so against your stomach. You knew it was innocent, you knew he wasn’t trying anything nefarious, and knowing that took away a large portion of the anxiety you might have felt when a faint tickling sensation began bubbling against the skin right by your belly button. His touch was soft, kind, loving and pure, so you willed yourself to relax and attempt to enjoy it.

To your surprise, the goosebumps that raised on your arm didn’t feel like your skin was crawling from discomfort. The most delicate tickling didn’t make you want to push him away, or cry, or sound alarm bells in your head. The smallest smile tugged at your lips as one of his fingers accidentally slipped over your navel. You giggled and flinched a tiny bit, but it didn’t scare you.

“Sorry, love,” Loki immediately pressed his palm flat against your side again and ducked his head to place a kiss on the side of your head.

“It’s okay,” you traced your own finger over his shirt and bit your lip. “It was nice.”

You felt Loki take a deep breath in and out, perhaps trying to figure out if he should say anything. “Would you like me to continue?” He asked, so casually, like he was asking if you’d like a cup of tea. You nodded softly and saw him smile from the corner of your eye. “One word and I’ll stop,” he assured you. You nodded again, a bit shyer this time, and you bit your tongue as his palm lifted from your side and only his fingertips remained against your skin.

He brought his fingers together and placed them against the skin on the side of your stomach. Then, like a flower in bloom, he let them softly open and spread. It made you shudder, nestle your head more into his shoulder. The pads of his fingertips trailed slowly up and down the outer edges of your belly, sometimes swirling patterns, mostly just taking in the feeling of you, as his fingers blossomed and receded at a steady and predictable pace.

He lifted his touch from you, save for his ring finger which he dragged down to meet the place where your bare skin stopped and the waistband of your pyjama shorts began. Slowly, tenderly, his finger ran along the line until the placement of his arm around you wouldn’t allow his hand to reach any further. When that happened, he was at the lowest part of the very centre of your belly.

As he trailed his finger up the middle of your torso you bit your lip in anticipation of where his touch had pulled a giggle from you just minutes ago, but at the last second he evaded your belly button, swerving his finger to avoid the area, chuckling softly to himself at how you’d been holding your breath without realising. You allowed yourself to smile and relax, letting the breath out as you snuggled further into him.

“Alright, love?” He asked. You could hear the way his lips were curled into a soft smile.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, then bit the side of your tongue and curled your toes as his finger began its path back downwards.

“One word and I stop, hmm?” He reminded you. You nodded and smiled a bit more as the ticklish sensation became a bit more apparent. You rubbed your feet together and hid your face more into him, but didn’t ask him to stop. You didn’t want him to.

He traipsed over to the side of your belly to draw slow larger patterns against your skin, the sparkling ticklish sensations now a bit more apparent. It was actually tickling, but it felt nice. It wasn’t too much. Small giggles bubbled over your lips intermittently and so you pressed the back of your hand to your mouth. Loki‘s chest rumbled with a low chuckle. “My love, half the fun is hearing you laugh.”

“W-what’s thehe other half?” You asked through sniffling giggles, tensing your abdomen as his finger trailed back closer to the centre.

“Knowing it means you are happy,” he said with an evident grin. His other fingers met your skin and you flinched. He immediately retracted his hand.

“N-no, it’s okay,” you assured him. “It feels good,” you admitted as your cheeks burned.

“Does it now?” He chuckled and placed his fingers delicately back on the middle of your stomach, resuming the blooming motion as he’d done before.

You were properly giggling now as his fingers swept and glided over the sensitive skin, and you actually squeaked when one of his fingers finally caught your belly button. Loki laughed as you groaned and buried your hot face deep into his chest. He flattened his hand once again against your skin and applied enough pressure to his fingers to take the tickling sensation away.

“I think enough for today,” he chuckled and turned to be also on his side, facing you and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead as his thumb move up to trace the lines beside your smiling lips. “Gods, having you happy and laughing against me, the things it does to me, mmm,” he flattered jokingly with a wink.

“Pfft,” you shoved at his chest a little, which only served to make him seize your wrist and pull you closer to press a tender kiss to your lips. You practically melted into it, feeling his hand release yours to roam your body, to pull you in how he knew made you feel most safe. Most loved.

After that first time, sometimes when you were cuddled up Loki would brush his fingers along your side, or your neck, listening closely to pick any signs of discomfort in your giggles. Something you noticed was he never tried to tickle you when you were in any way trapped in his arms. He loved to playfully tackle you to the bed, or pick you up from behind to whisk you away, or hold you tightly in his arms as he kissed you passionately. But if you were perched straddling his laps with his hold around you, he’d always unwrap his arms before playfully dragging his fingers up your side. If he’d pinned you to the bed to kiss your neck with playful growls, he’d roll off to the side before fluttering his fingers up your collarbones to trace around the sensitive skin on your ears.

The first time he added a bit of pressure to his touch you were reaching up to grab a hoodie from your top shelf, not having much luck even on your tiptoes. He came up behind you, chuckled and lightly dug a single wiggling finger under each of your arms. You squeaked and giggled and clamped your arms down, leaning back into his chest to seek refuge where you felt most safe. He ducked around and kissed your cheek, then your lips, as he reached up and effortlessly grabbed the item of clothing you were seeking.

You playfully glared at him as you pulled the hoodie on, but your blush and the smile you didn’t try to fight told him you’d enjoyed the teasing. Once your hoodie was on, he smirked and gathered you in his arms, running over to your bed before throwing you down and pulling the collar of your hoodie aside to kiss and nip at the skin on your neck. You giggled and some tiny squeals escaped your blushing lips. Loki grinned, through his kisses and playful growls, at your lack of attempt to escape him, even though he left ample room for you roll away if you so pleased.

There had only been two occasions when you asked him to stop. The first was when you’d awoken with his arms around you, you kissed him sweetly on his shoulder and neck until he woke up and returned the favour. When his fingers playfully wiggled against your sides, you suddenly realised nature was calling and you had to go now. You giggled but told him to stop without explanation. He did so without hesitation, and chuckled as you shot out of bed towards the bathroom.

The second time was when you’d returned home from a mission that had kind of knocked you down a peg. You weren’t feeling great. You were tired and sore and didn’t want to talk about what had gone down. Loki had greeted you with open arms, ordered you your favourite dinner and drew you bath laced with a blend of Asgardian oils he’d brought home after one of his covert visits. He worked his fingers into your shoulders and neck as you watched a film together, and when you made some cheeky joke at his expense he scoffed in indignation and playfully squeezed at your sides. It had been a long day and you were feeling fragile, so the ticklish feeling didn’t feel as carefree as it usually did coming from him. You tensed and asked him to please stop, which he did. What’s more, he gave no indication that he was put out, or upset with you for shutting it down. He simply kissed your shoulder before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you backwards to rest against him.

It was then, when you didn’t have to worry he’d sneakily try again, that you finally fully relaxed to the concept. The trust was there, and you knew Loki would never overwhelm you on purpose.

After that night, Loki noticed you becoming more cheeky with him some of the times he poked at your skin. He’d cock his head and asked you to repeat brazen comments, which you would with a smirk, then throw your head back and laugh when he’d scratch at your ribs or slip a hand under your shirt to flutter at your waist.

Then, one night, you dared to get him back. He’d made good-natured joke at your expense when you’d made a wildly incorrect assumption about how his magic worked. He laughed heartily as you swatted his chest indignantly, then got to your knees beside him before digging your ten fingers straight into the centre of his stomach.

“Lihittle scamp!” He laughed and, you noticed, tried very hard to not reach out and push your hands away with his incredible strength. He pressed his head into the pillow and allowed you several seconds of fun before reaching out and clawing at your ribs. Your arms shot back to protect yourself and you fell forward over his torso, giggly laughter pulled from your lips as Loki flitted his fingers all over your sides, ribs and around the few sensitive places on your back he’d discovered. “You’ve got some nerve,” he teased through gritted teeth.

You laughed and squirmed while draped over him and managed to shoot a hand down to scratch behind his knee through his sweatpants, rewarding you with a jolt of his leg and a barked laugh through his lips. It was short lived, since his scratching fingers found their way inside the sensitive space under your arm. “LOHOKI!” You laughed and clamped your arm down as he kept wriggling his tickling fingers for several more seconds, then took his hands away to use them pull you off him to rest nestled against his side. “Ihi didn’t know a god could be ticklish,” you teased with a few more pokes to his ribs.

He snatched up your fingers and playfully nipped at them before placing a tender kiss on each one. “My brave little love,” Loki glowered playfully. You smiled, then thought about all he meant behind his words.

You hadn’t imagined you’d ever be able to have this kind of care-free tussle with another partner after that first boyfriend, as much as you knew you’d enjoy it with the right person. Gods, Loki was so patient with you. Maybe because he had so many years, maybe because he was so put off by the idea of hurting you. Maybe, to him, it was okay if you never wanted that.

You didn’t know for sure if you’d ever get to the point where you’d feel okay bearing the brunt of Loki’s full mischievous ability, like what he meant to exert on you that first day he’d held you down and you’d confessed your fears, but, nevertheless, you felt brave.

Brave enough to slip your fingers up under the hem of Loki’s shirt and flutter at the skin over his hips, relishing in his happy laughter as he took your hand and rolled over on top to pin you down kiss you delirious.

As Loki’s head ducked down, his hands slid down your sides and he took the hem of your shirt between his teeth to pull it higher, you felt no fear as he placed ticklish kisses all over the skin on your stomach. You laced your fingers through his hair as giggles poured out of you, never once wishing for him to stop. Never once asking. When he’d had enough, he pushed himself back up to take your face in his hands and kiss you passionately once again. You grinned into the kiss and playfully swiped your fingers against his neck, to which he made quick work of grabbing your wrists and pinning them beside your head. He chuckled as you fought to free yourself, to keep going on your little tirade, but you kissed him back until you were both a little breathless.

“Nothing in the universes is as precious to me as your trust,” Loki declared as he broke away. “Nothing,” he repeated, eyes shining down earnestly.

You wanted to return the kind words, to say something that matched his sentiment, but nothing seemed sufficient. So, you smiled at him and kissed him again before settling your head back to the bedspread and taking in the blueness of his eyes, cursing yourself for not knowing what to say. Just like trying to figure out that word to describe what you were, no human word could live up to all that he was. All that This was.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind, hmm?” Loki squinted a bit and you took in a deep breath, blushing that he caught you pondering.

“What…” you sighed, biting your lip. “What are you… to me?” You fidgeted a little and he released your wrists with a curious glance, propping himself above you by his elbows and swiping his thumb along your lower lip. “Sorry,” you mumbled, twitching a smile from the tingles left in the wake of his thumbprint. “I’m being silly.”

“Darling, I’m yours. Is it really more complicated than that?”

How he could so casually make your heart burst, you’d never fully understand. Perhaps it was an Asgardian thing. Or just a Loki thing. A grin pulled into your blushing cheeks as you looked up at the strikingly beautiful God of Mischief.

“Mine. I like the sound of that.”

“Mmm, good,” he kissed you again and shifted to lace his fingers though yours, pinning your hands to the bed. “Now, stop tickling me, and let me kiss you ‘til there’s not a breath left in my body.”

You giggled and nodded, to which he grinned and captured your lips once again. He didn’t stop until there was no shadow of a doubt that he was, undeniably, yours.

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tumblunni · 7 years ago

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Ehh I mostly Really do not like what they did with marvel Loki, and then the movie version in particular. I’ve heard that the recent threequel kinda hits the reset button on the entire thing and reestablishes him and like he actually has a decent brotherly relationship and gets redeemed now?? So like woo! I’m happy for you! EVen if i’m still mostly not interested in this character!

BUT ANYWAY SORRY WHAT WAS I ORIGINALLY MAKING THIS POST ABOUT WHUPS

What i mean is im not particularly interested in marvel loki in any way, but i always thought his movie plot was a really interesting and sad idea. That they TOTALLY WASTED! tho really it’d be wasted even if they pulled it off perfectly cos i still could not get over the general dissonance of ‘wtf loki wasnt his brother he was like twice his age and knew his dad before he was born, and also he was never half anything and always knew he was a jotunn’. Srsly its fuckin weird that in mythology he never had any magic excuse for working with the aesir, he just.. decided to. And he was good. he was one of the good guys. he turned bad later and he was always a morally nebulous comedic trickster man but he was never fuckin... im only here cos i was raised as a human guy. and also im somehow younger than my best friend’s son who was kinda my nephew i guess. srsly he just.. was a giant who.. chose to switch sides. its not a hard plot to do. why did they even feel they had to change that... tho also incidentally historically jotunn didnt mean giant, it was more like ‘chaos spirit’ in practise. loki being like a 4 foot tall angry gremlin wasnt particularly unusual in the mythos so its funny how out of place he is in the marvelverse actually. and also they weren’t all ice but had fire and ice as basically races or countries, and loki was never really stated which one he was, or if he was some sort of neutral aligned one or there were other elemental types that just never got a starring role in any particular story. or in some interpretations the vanir are considered to perhaps be a form of elemental god too, though that’s just an attempt to nail down how exactly they were meant to be different from aesir. Though there are some textbooks that describe loki’s name as coming from fire, that was actually brought up in-universe during one of his adventures where he fought an evil clone of himself named logi, which is the one that actually means fire. and also there was utgard-loki who was an entirely unrelated rival of his, apparantly just because they had the same name and he was pissed about it? anyway other-loki tricked loki into fighting logi who was actually a magic clone made from wildfire, who was by definition unbeatable in eating contests cos fire consumes everything. Also thor had to outdrink a magical ocean guy and got his ass kicked by a grandma that was actually death in disguise and somehow ‘nobody can fight death’ quite literally meant she was a master of suplexes. Also a cat. A cat was there. And they slept in a giant glove. It was a fun myth cos for once thor and loki got their asses kicked and it was kind of a moral about pride and stuff. Damn that other-loki and his gary oak role in my loki life..!!

SORRY SORRY IM GOING OFFTOPIC AGAIN sorry, mythology stuff was kinda my special interest as a kid and i got stupidly pissy about ‘innacuracy’ in something that wasn’t even claiming to be an adaptation, more of a ‘vaguely inspired by the thing’ I guess...

anyway WHAT I ORIGINALLY MEANT LOL is that ‘he never knew he was a monster thing and was raised as a human and got super sad when he found out’ is wildly innacurate and OOC to fuckin everything about this proud-as-fuck magic man who walked around being Aggressively Gay And Trans Erryday and calling odin out on his shit even when he knew he was gonna get his ass kicked. srsly loki never being able to stop being Happy About Himself is kinda what started his actual turn to evil in the myths, he got drunk and couldnt stop telling crude sex jokes and making up dumb rumours about how he was better than all the gods and banged all their wives and also their wives’s husbands btw. And odin was like Hey That Was Even More Loki Than Usual and murdered all loki’s children and locked him in the centre of the earth having his eyes constantly melted out with acid and regrowing and also a snake was eating him and also he was pinned with his dead son’s own guts as chains and also lets punish the wife who wasnt even there and tie her up too forever hugging her screaming hubby and trying to hold the acid out of his eyes with a comically small cup and her increasingly scarred skeleton hands. Because he was rude at a party. Then loki turned evil when he finally escaped and Hey I Think He Might Have Had One Or Two Reasons. Mythology is kinda fucked up sometimes, lol!

... ANYWAY WHERE WAS I, SORRY

loki being a lil emo teen dude who’s sad cos o no i am a monster and my dad never loved me = innacurate, and less interesting than many very interesting things of these myths that i wish they did instead

BUT

if it wasnt a weird attempt to change an already good story then it would be a good story yo!

like srsly there were a lot of particular elements to it that were really distinctive visually and i can see why they ended up being way more popular in fanart even if they were practically never shown again. It was a good idea to give the jotunn more of a distinct physical appearance from the Big Ol Protagonist Gods Of Generic Humanness, that like the one thing they made more accurate than the comics! And the funky blue look is really cool cos its like a fantasy equivelant of aliens, and like.. a cool lookin deep blue that isnt quite the cliche you’d expect for ice guys. And it looks nice with glowy red eyes and those weird patterns like theyre born with tattoos or somethin! And it was an interesting change from the comics to NOT have loki be a half jotunn or anything, he was just a regular jotunn orphan who was ambiguously either spared by odin as the last survivor of the war or stolen away from his real family as some sort of messed up trophy. But just like I Guess They’re Celtic Mythology Changelings Too so he magically ended up looking like a human cos he thought he was one? Which fits pretty cool with his particular magic powers being illusion-based, even though everybody else is all ice guys. (which is funnily enough also myth accurate to how NO OTHER JOTUNNS EVER SEEM TO SHAPESHIFT, GEEZ. srsly its not clear whether its some loki unique power or just a big ol plot hole XD)

And then it added a really cool visual aspect to have basically this guy who was under a glamour his entire life and didnt know it, and gets a really kinda existentially horrifying moment of finding out his face isnt his face?? srsly that was so messed up! you’re standing there and you know this is The Poorly Explained McGuffin That Somehow Powers Up Jotunns I Guess and you’re “dad this is your last chance to stop lying” and HE CONTINUES TO LIE ANYWAY but then whoops u touched the thing and I Guess You Really Was Monsters Poor guy...

BUT THEN MY PONT IS LIKE its so wasted!!! none of that really comes up again after that scene!! and we arent supposed to be sympathetic to loki and he’s just the bad guy and all we get is a twist that he did all his bad guy stuff with the unexpected motive of actually NOT betraying his father but just leading the jotunns to take over asgard and then killing them all and somehow faking being a hero so everyone would accept him back, even though nobody except the dad even knew he was a jotunn and indicated they were gonna kick him out and also why did you suddenly want to murder your brother out of a poorly established jealousy you apparantly always had yet also you still love him and just... uhh?? how was any of this plot meant to work out, dude. Srsly I am SO glad to hear they made his characterization more consistant in the sequels but i really hated the first movie so much i’ll probably never watch them lol. and did we really need to wait like half a decade to get some proper sibling dynamic? im so grossed out by how all the fans of the first movie shipped them and pulled that weird ‘not blood related’ excuse...

WHOOPS IM RAMBLING AGAIN

anyway it sucks that: * we never get to see Cool Blue Monster Loki Design ever again in the film * he’s suddenly evil and does a bunch of shit that doesnt even make sense given the motivation of Sad Because Monster Lies * we dont even get any emotional continuation or conclusion on that one big sad reveal scene that looked like it had so much plot potential * ALL THE JOTUNNS ARE JUST EVIL. At the same time that the film tries to make a moral about loki being bad for wanting to kill them all EVEN THOUGH THATS WHAT THOR DID AT THE BEGINNING * srsly the film starts off with thor being a huge jerk and then he doesnt become more sympathetic until way after loki suddenly turned unsympathetic so we have this void in the middle where we cant root for anyone. and it makes you wonder why they even bothered with SUCH a powerful sympathetic scene for this poor dude! * all the jotunns are evil and just agree to murder all of valhalla for no reason and also none of them even talk except Biological Dad Man, who is also super super evil and doesnt love loki cos Hey We Cant Have Any Complexity Here * also they mixed up the names and called him by myth loki’s mom’s name which I suppose could work if this was the same character who transitioned or something, but this was at a point back when marvel tried to cover up all references to genderfluidity being a literal superpower of loki’s. also they didnt show him having a mum at all and all the female characters were kinda poorly handled so yeah. * loki for no fuckin reason stays loyal to odin even though he just learned he was kidnapped as a kid and has been raised to want to kill his own home village like seriously what the fuck * last minute out of nowhere backstabbing of personalityless evil jotunn dad and yknow.. like the million bazillion jotunns who were all (as far as we know) super happy to have their presumed dead prince come back and perfectly nice to him as a family. like seriously could you not have at least established that they were jerks to him in.. some way? WE SAW SO MUCH OF ODIN BEING A TERRIBLE DAD UNTIL NOW. And he was supposed to be sympathetic! and his last scene up until now was being called out on lying to his adopted son for a bazillion years and the question of his goddamn motives was left wide open so we dont KNOW if he was sympathetic or not, geez! if you cant bother to establish why loki should side with odin then at least establish why he should want to murder his entire biological family right after they ACCEPTED HIM INTO THEIR HOME. They were shown being evil in that they wanted to invade asgard, yeh, but also your protagonist’s main goddamn struggle is about wanting to invade jotunheim and like apparrantly everyone’s being doing this for a bazillion years and there’s not even the slightest hint who started the damn war in the first place... * Don’t kill jotunns thats bad, loki is bad for doing that. But also all jotunns are bad and we can kill them anyway cos they invaded first. Yknow.. due to loki tricking them specifically to kill them. And them believing him cos he’s Kinda The King’s Presumed Dead Son And Seriously Why Does Nobody Talk One Way Another About Whether They’re Happy Or Not That He’s Back * did loki and incorrectly named king guy even have a single sentence together that wasn’t ‘mwahaha we shall Plot Device to Evil Invade’? not like five seconds of ‘fuck i missed my son’ or ‘its awkward to bond again with a son that grew up without me’ or even ‘what was it like to be trapped with our mortal enemies that we all assume are evil and kidnapped you’ * LIKE ACTUALLY WHY WAS THAT NEVER BROUGHT UP? the jotuns didnt fuckin know that loki got adopted by a guy and raised as a human! did any of this make sense from their perspective?? were they not even slightly suspicious when he didnt tell them where he’d been for all those years and also spent all his screentime staying in human form and never showing off that cool special effect evr again?? didnt anyone think maybe he was just an asgardian lying to them? and did nobody recognise him as the son of their mortal enemy and think that was a way bigger reason he might be lying, or even a reason not to trust him even if he was indeed a jotunn with an identity complex...? or hell, did he NOT EVEN TELL THEM HIS BIG BACKSTORY MOTIVE??? did they just think Hey Some Random Asgardian Wants To Betray His Own Kind, That’s Not Suspicious In Any Way? i mean at least that would explain about why Dad 2; The Redaddening literally never mentioned being his damn dad or showed any emotion except Generic Evil... * Anyway none of this matters cos we killed all the jotunns in a justified way even though killing the jotunns is why loki is the bad guy, and then we do some sort of magical segregation power to cut off the path between the worlds so like.. the 5% of not dead guys over there can never appear again and we can have some sort of weird sense of moral high ground. Also loki falls off a cliff and dies, but obviously its a fakeout for the sequel, The End

THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY COOL TO DO WITH THIS PLOT INSTEAD MAYBE: * like fffuckign show goddamn Loki Real if you bothered to invent a new design for the jotunns looking not like humans in the first place... * hey actually explore the kind of existential horror stuff of finding out your preconceived notions about some other realm’s citizens being Inherantly Evil Monsters are all wrong and also you were one of them all along * also like.. actually commit to the plot of them NOT being Inherantly Evil Monsters. like seriously i guess loki was the only not bad one cos he was raised as an asgardian?? and then he immediately switches sides as soon as his orignal nature is revealed, so i guess not. >_> * like man there’s fifty bazillion ways you could have handled trying to stop a war between two sides where neither is evil, and like seriously the dude who’s part of both works could have been the symbol of peace who did that... * also minor note but why is every other jotunn identical and never speaks except loki and Evildad Plotdevice, thats really fuckin stupid * srsly imagine if they had any form of established culture or civilization or anything instead of just Standing In A Field, Being Vaguely Menacing, With No Houses Even Nearby. like srsly their whole world is just generic jrpg dungeon tundras i guess... * imagine all the plots that could come from Not Villain Plot Loki getting to go visit this other country of the monster folks and get a first hand experience on how the citizens live and how they’re not just all enemy soldiers with no damn personality or motive beyond Bad Hatewrong The Anger Things. imagine the fuckin complex plot sads that could come from if he was actually WELCOMED by his birth family and had a dad that had been mourning him for like thirty fuckin years and just wanted to keep him happy and safe. You could have eighty more angsts if the plot of those angsts is Oh Fuck I Was So Wrong About These People And Stood By And Supported This War That Was Killing Them, And Am I A Bad Person Because I Only Found Sympathy For Them After Discovering A Blood Relation? * and like you could still have bad guys, you could have bad guys on both sides who are perpetuating the war and both have to be stopped so this peace can happen. And you can have not bad guys who were suckered in by war propeganda into working for these bad guys, and you have to try and make them reach the same realization that poor loki had forced upon him. * and like.. what if they did explore that one weird throwaway line about not knowing if odin’s motives were sympathy for the last survivor of a massacre, or a desire to steal a kid as a trophy of that same massacre? like maybe odin actually was a war hungry monster back then and his intentions were cruel in kidnapping this kid, but he realized what a horrible mistake he’d been making with his life when he began to see the kid grow up and have just as much of a complexity of emotion and potential for goodness as any of his own people. And the reason he never told loki his past was not because of Plot Device but because of shame for his original motives in this whole sad affair, and guilt in feeling that he could never undo what happened. like ‘oh god maybe the boy will be happier if he never knows he had all the stuff he lost because of me’. And thats also why he could seem distant like he doesnt love him, its feeling like he doesnt deserve to experience this kid’s love after he’s coe to realize the true atrocity of what he did to him.. * and also i dunno maybe the two dads could get At Least One Scene of Actually Talking Together and resolve some damn things... * could even be sad if odin like.. wants biological-dad to kill him so he can atone for his sins, and loki goes bursting in at the last second like WAIT NO ITS A TRAP HE’S TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE DAMMIT and then we find some way to resolve a plot that isnt Action Scenes And All The Bad Guys Die A Lot * also fuck i dont know if u want a ship of monster dude and not monster dude then do the two dads instead of a guy and his adopted brother, thats just gross * also MORE SCREENTIME FOR THE CUTE AND COOL MONSTER LOKI DESIGN. like yo you cant have any form of plot about accepting yourself unless you show his true form like.. more than once. as far as i know it never appears in the sequels even after they give him his super overdue redemption plot :/

^ Dat’s Pretty Neat

srsly it sucks that this is even the only damn screenshot i could get of it like fuckin 0.4 seconds of one damn movie, never shown again

its funny how just by googling it you’ll get like fifty bazillion edited screenshots of what if he stayed that way for the rest of the film and also the sequels and also a bazillion fanarts and fan jotunn ocs and like seriously fuckin EVERYONE likes the cool blue elves design, marvel, use it more often!!

look at this really great fanart by this artist here I can’t say any opinion on the rest of their art tho cos they seem to be one of those people that ship him with his brother.. sigh... >_> still drawing terrible ships elsewhere doesnt make your other art any less talented! thank u for blessing us with Casual Monster Man Knows He Is Cute BECAUSE MARVEL IS TOO COWARD TO DO IT

#blunni thoughts #he a cute and also a patoot #and also why was i reminded of this movie and my childhood grudge against every scriptwriter that made it happen #can someone just like.. steal those ideas #make some other story with some cool blue elf people with funky tattoos and horns #make some other story with Generic Prince Protagonist Discovers He Is Actually The Demons And Also The Demons Are Not Evil #And Possibly A Lot Of Crying Ensues #and like thor doesnt even need to be in this story at all just make the loki equivelant the protag #not cos thor is bad or anything just that it would work better from loki's perspective #and if there wasnt a whole big plot about loki proving he's just as evil as everyone thinks the damn jotunn are #cos something something jealous of his brother and tries to kill him #thor had basically an entirely separate plot in this thing aside from being loki's motive to ignore his own character development opportunit #they probably woulda made a less clutterd mess if they split it into two movies and gave more screentime to those individual plots #also maybe could have fixed whatever the fuck caused everyone to start shipping the goddamn brothers #its so horrible being like 'hey cool a good art about brotherly antics ABORT ABORT THERE IS INCEST EVEN WHEN THEY WERE FUCKIN 12 WHAT'#its fuckin inescapeable its almost as common as gross abusive yaoi stuff is in uroshitsuji too...#what did these fandoms do to deserve this #I Just Wanted To See Monster Boy Be Loved And Accepted In His Childhood #i came for fix fics not make it worse fics

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profoundtyrantharmony · 3 years ago

Text

Title : That’s How I Feel

Warning : None. Italics means flashback. Y/f/c => your favorite color. Y/f/sc => your favorite summer clothe.

Words : around 2260

Painting : Loki x Black!Chubby!Reader

Requested by @rootbeergoddess “Can you write a story where a chubby, brown skinned reader is dating Loki and Loki decides to spoil her one day by taking her to the mall and buying her everything she wants?”

My name is y/f/n y/l/n, I’m a young adult living in 21th century. You wonder why I would say that ? Simple. I’m a woman, black and chubby, and apparently in this era this is a huge problem. I didn’t do anything wrong, I mean yeah I love good food and I’m not overly fond of any kind of sport but is this really enough of a reason to basically bully me everyday. Let me answer this basic question : HELL NO !!! I’m pissed of all this bad comments about my appearance, what I should do to lose weight, to eat healthier… I can’t stand the fact that we are being judge (yes because of course I’m far from being the only one) based on our looks rather than our sharpe mind. I know my worth, and I am far more worthy than all of these piece of…garbage…those wanabe decent human. Right now I seem like I am incredibly confident but I’m not. I’m alone in my room talking to myself in my head because I am not capable of doing it in front of my bullies !! You wanna know what happened for me to be alone instead of happilly working ? Let me tell you a story…

I live in a cute two bedrooms appartment not far from the Avengers quarter (I’d say 20 minutes on foot). It’s a charming place, the neighbors are the nicest and most of all not judgmental. I live alone but sometimes my boyfriend come to spend the night at my house, those are the best night that could happen. But today I woke up alone in my king size bed, unfortunatelly for me he had an important meeting early this morning so he had to go early. His name is Loki of Asgard heir to the crown of Jotunheim, adoptive son of Odin, brother of Thor and most importantly the Holder of my heart. It’s been 4-5 months that we are actually together but we’ve known each other for about one year. We met at the Avengers compound where I worked as an assistant for Pepper Potts before I became the analyst that I am today, but that’s a story for another time. As I was saying I woke up alone this morning, it was 8:30 am. I’m not due to work until 10:00 am. I decided to take my breakfast while mentally visualise what I will do to work, whilst thinking about how to avoid my mescreants of co-workers (you read it right co-workers not collegues, I’m not appreciate enough to call them that, I only consider Bonnie a collegue, she’s the closest thing I have to a friend at work. ). Once my coffe and my toasts spread with honey were eaten I went to to the bathroom to prepare myself. The most difficult part for me is to chose what I am going to wear if I don’t want any comments. The purpose is to clearly become invisible, like a shadow lurking in the corner of the room. I don’t want to wear a cute dress, a fluffy skirt or a top with some lacework on it cause i will 100% receive insults, mockery, and I just don’t have the strengh anymore, it already happened before it will happened again I can’t do anything to stop it. I already try when I was younger and guess what “it’s just words don’t listen to them”, thanks a lot I feel better now ! I finally decided on a simple dark tight blue jeans and a white shirt with an afro motif on it (just like me). I put some liner and mascara and I was ready to face my personal hell. I went to work on foot, it was sunny with a bit of fresh wind, perfect for 20 minutes of walk. I arrived at exactly 9:50 am, and went to my desk to begin with my daily task. It took time and mental energy cause i’m a bit perfectionnist. My boss knows of that fact and are still satisfied with me because my work is ALWAYS perfect and NEVER need rework, the fact that I won the award of the best employee last year and this year too is something that didn’t escape me. That’s why I went to the communal area to get some tea and a chocolate and pistachio cookie, I really needed it. Just before I arrived I heard my name being said, and clearly not in a friendly way. I stayed hidden in the corridor to listen to what was being said. I recognised the voice of five persons (three men and two women, all agents of shield), they were talking about how fat I am, how ugly I am, how my clothes are too tight and not meant for me. But if it was only about my body it would be just like usual, nothing to worry about, but they were talking about my personnality (low confidence, shy, discret) and about Loki, and that, I couldn’t stand it ! How dare they insult him after all he has done for humanity, for shield, for them, only to be treated as a lesser man, it’s absolutelly despicable. Understanding that whatever I could do I will never be enough for them made me sad and angry at myself. I didn’t wanna eat anymore and decided to quit work for the day (don’t worry I informed Pepper) and get back home and stay alone in my bedroom, laying on my dark green new bedsheets.

I stay alone like this for quite some time until I hear the familiar voice of my tender one.

“I came as fast as I could, Pepper warned me you left work early what happened ?” He seems so worried, I don’t want him to see me as a weak little human even if I know that he doesn’t see me like that at all.

“Don’t worry it’s nothing. Lets talk about something else, how was the meeting ?” He was looking at me as if he could read me, maybe he can, he is too cute, look at his face, his eyes, his…sad smile ? What happen to him ? “Why the sad face Loki ?”

“I’m not sad, I know what you’re going through on a personnal level trust me, plus there is no such thing as secrecy when you work with and for the Avengers and shield. I know what those pathetic little things called humans have said about you, your collegue Bonnie was close to the area when she heard them, she called them on their bullshit (has been insulted short after) and came to Pepper who then came to me right after.” He come to sit beside me, his face coming closer to mine, his hands taking my face in his, our forehead touches, our eyes getting close, we breath each other’s in, it was so calm and tender. “The things you make me feel princess, I don’t think you understand the power you have over me that’s insane !” His smile when he said this makes my tears almost came free. We kissed each other slowly with a lot of passion until we stop to breath.

“I just don’t understand why they are so mean with me, yes I’m black but I can’t change that, yes I’m chubby but i’m don’t have cardiac problems, cholesterol issues or diabete, I walk everyday to go to work, I’m as healthy as I can be and those buffons can go to hell because I’m so freaking smart that they can’t understand how wonderful I am !!”

“You have a lot of confidence in you princess so why don’t you use it at work ?”

“You mean why I do not take the lead ? You mean taking the lead the same way I take it last time we were together in bed ?” I was trying so hard to change the topic of conversation but that was vain.

“Hmm you’re being a naughty girl don’t play this game right now I’m being serious.”

“You’re no fun !! Well, when I’m with you I feel respected, love. I trust you the way i never have thought I could. You never judge me and you make me feel whole, you’re the first person I see myself with for the long term, you’re the one for me and I hope you will love me for the rest of our time.” Tears were flowing from his eyes, he takes me in his arms and kisses me for all his worth. The moans that come out of my mouth was like a fuel to him, he could never stop loving me. “Come with me princess, we’re going shopping !”

The road to the mall was short cause we live close by and we took the car. It was still pretty early in the afternoon, maybe 3:00 pm si we had all the time we wanted, we were not in a hurry. When he parked the car I still didn’t know why we came here.

“Why did we came here Loki ?” I asked him.

“I have some items to purchase Princess.” He says with with a smile that could bright the entire universe.

“How many items do you have to purchase?” He smirked at me, and calmly told me :

“A healthy amount”.

We entered the mall, I didn’t know what to look for, it’s been so many time i didn’t come here, work kept me grounded in a way. I always asked one of my neighbors to do my shopping in exchange of some petsitting (when hollidays comes, familly week-end…it’s better than abandonment if you ask me). There were so many things I’d like to buy but I didn’t do it. Loki was leading to the litterature corner of the mall, I remembered that my favorite author just published a book days ago but didn’t purchase it. Without a word, he took the book and paid for it, I know he loves reading maybe he is a y/f/a’s fan. We looked at each other, smiling.

“Where do you want to go now ?

"I heard about the new summer collection, I’d like to go and check it out of that’s okay with you princess.” How could I ever refuse this face. He took my hand in his and lead me to the summer clothes sections. There were to many wonderful skirts, dresses I couldn'tstop looking at them…but would I ever be worthy of wearing them…

“Princess what do you think about this gorgeous y/f/c y/f/sc ? I think it will compliment your figure and make your pop more.”

“Why would you wanna buy it ? That’s not exactly what you would wear my sweet.”

“It’s not for me” he said laughing, “That’s for you !”

“…But why ?” I was shocked.

“Why would I want to spoiled the best thing that ever happened to me you mean ? Because I can and most importantly I want to do it. I want you to see yourself as I see you. I want you to feel self confident enough to allowed yourself to wear whatever you want without feeling self concious. And above all I want to please you as the Princess tou deserve. So I’m asking you, will you let me buy you books, clothes, make up, knits…”

“How do you know about the knits ?” I asked interumpting him.

“It doesn’t matter, I know that you knit some tiny socks and caps for orphans babies, that you don’t tell to anyone cause you don’t brag about the good thing you do because that’s not who you are and I love you all the more for it. You take so much care about people you don’t even know but never about you. I’m here to change it I’m here to take care of you the way you won’t do.”

“Loki…I..I..Thanks you”. I was crying my soul out. It wasn’t from sadness but from hapiness, i couldn’t describe the amount of love I felt for him this right moment. We hugged each other, the time stopped around us and we were floating like two leaves dancing with the wind.

“Lets go eat something, I saw a french backery at the other end of the mall.”

“Good idea, I didn’t eat since breakfast so I’m a little bit starving.” I happilly answered.

“There is a lot of choices princess, croissant, paint au chocolat, chicolate chips cookie…a millefeuille…” he was undecided.

“Why not take the four and split, this way de could taste and eat a bit of everything.” I told him, secretly hopping he’d say yes, cause, lets be honnest here, french food was literally my péché mignon (*cute sin/guilty pleasure*). He was more than happy with this idea, and more than happy to share his food with me. We talked a lot, purchase many other items, especially a bouquet of several flowers ( bouton d'or for joy ; white camellias for the eternal love ; fuchsias for unbreakable love ; gardenias for honesty ; lavender for respect and tenderness, last flowers but not the least the white roses for pure love). I was so overwelmed with joy that I couldn’t contain my tears.

“What did I do to deserve all this Loki ?” I asked crying.

“There is no reason really…” he looked me in the eyes and I saw all the love pouring into them as he continued “…that’s how I feel.”

*This is the end of my first fic, hope you liked it, remember, english is not my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes.*

*If you want to request check out here*

*Likes, Comments and Reblogs are also appreciated*

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x you #loki x you #reader insert #black!reader #loki x black!reader #chubby reader #oc character #black!chubby!reader #loki x black!chubby!reader #fluff #fanfiction

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thesuitkovian · 4 years ago

Text

Avengers and Co Reacting to you Having a Nightmare

Author’s Note: Writing this one made me soft :3

This includes Avengers, (some) Guardians of the Galaxy and other supporting characters cause I felt like it.

Bruce Banner

Is woken up by you whimpering in fear

Takes him a moment to move into action, but he would gently place a hand on your shoulder and whisper your name, rubbing your shoulder till you wake up.

“You we’re having a bad dream, love”

Pulls you into his chest so he is cradling you in his arms. “I’ve got you, it’s over now.”

Waits till you’re calm enough to talk and asks if you wanna talk about it or go back to bed.

Bucky Barnes

Can tell as soon as your breathing changes.

Pulls you tight against him so your back is to his chest and tries to soothe you that way so he doesn’t have to disrupt your sleep

If it’s bad/you start to cry or whimper or anything he will immediately wake you up by gently kissin the side of your head, a comforting hand on your shoulder, whispering your name and asking you to ‘please wake up, doll’

When you wake up he would guide you into a sitting position so he can rock you back and forth to help you calm down.

Counts to ten with you/takes deep breaths with you/whatever it is you do to help yourself calm down.

Carol Danvers

Thinks nothing of it at first until she realizes the noises you are making are nightmare noises and not normal sleeping noises.

“Hey, love, it’s time to get up.” Gently shakes you awake.

Just hugs you until you calm down, whispering soothingly and resting her cheek on the top of your head.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now. I got you. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

Asks if you want to talk about it the following morning

Clint Barton

“Babe?” Confused as to what he’s hearing. “You okay?”

Realizes you’re asleep and rolls over to gently shake you.

“You we’re having a nightmare.” He would say when you startle awake.

Pulls you over so you are laying on top of him and your head is over his heart, running his hands up and down your arms and sides.

“It’s all over now, it was just a dream I promise.”

Gamora

Knows what it is in the very early stages, because of having nightmares herself and witnessing Nebula’s nightmares

Wakes you up immediately, saying your name in a calm but authoritative voice to get you to wake up.

Holds your face and forces you to look her in the eyes as she reassures you that you’re safe.

Helmut Zemo

Tries to get your attention, thinking you are making noises because you’re awake/waking up. “Are you awake, schatz?”

Doesn’t take him long at all to realize it’s a nightmare.

Pulls you to his chest and gently strokes your hair, whispering your name/pet name to wake you up.

Holds you as you calm down, murmuring things in sokovian to soothe you.

“You’re okay, my love, you’re safe now.”

John Walker

Confused

Takes him an almost embarrassing amount of time to realize it’s a nightmare.

Shakes you awake, calling you by your pet name.

“Were you having a nightmare?”

Hugs you with a hand on the back of your neck, cradling it so he can rest his chin on the top of your head.

“I’ve got you, you’re okay, I’ve got you.”

Carries you to the bathroom if you’re crying and sets you on the bathroom counter, grabbing tissues to wipe the tears from your eyes.

Makes you your favorite midnight snack as a comfort

Lemar Hoskins

Almost hesitant to wake you up, says your name really quietly and just barely shakes you so as not to scare you.

Sits you both up so he can hug you. Rubbing your back and making comforting noises.

Loki

Almost leaves you to have the nightmare and then just comfort you when you wake up on your own, but then feels guilty.

Rests a hand on your shoulder and leans in to say your name.

When you wake up, he tells you you were crying/screaming in your sleep.

Glares and huffs at you if you apologizes

Spoons you, arm tight around your middle and the other under you head

Natasha Romanoff

“You're having a nightmare, sweets”

Gently strokes your hair/face/arm as she whispers comforting things to you

“I’m right here, no one can hurt your sweets. You’re safe here.”

Nebula

Unsure what to do

Panics a little bit

Nudges you a couple times and says your name

When you wake up it will startle her

Immediately apologizes for waking you up and informs you that you had been making noises.

Tries to comfort you by laying very close to you. Will tentatively wrap an arm around you if you cuddle up to her for comfort

Peter Parker

“Babe? Babe??”

Is very worried for you but tries to keep it together

Gets a little antsy if you start crying, unsure how to help you

Hugs you really tight

“It was just a dream, I promise. They can’t hurt you, they’re not real”

Waits till you fall back asleep to fall asleep himself

Peter Quill (courtesy of my bf)

Doesn’t wake you up but instead comforts you while you’re sleeping. Pulls you closer/rolls over to be closer to you. Probaby hums or plays music like his mother used to do for him.

Pietro Maximoff

“Dove?” Genty places a hand on your shoulder, frowning when you don’t respond.

Gently squeezes your arm, and says your name this time.

Smiles gently when you wake up.

“Hey, hey you’re okay. It’s me, dove, I’ve got you now.”

Sam Wilson

“Babe, are you awake?”

Realizes you’re not awake and gently shakes you to wake you up.

“Are you okay? You were crying/whimpering in your sleep.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Will sit up and listen attentively if you do. If not, he will simply cuddle up to you and curl himself around you like a human blanket.

Whispers to you comfortingly until you fall asleep again.

Scott Lang

Very oblivious and probably thinks it's just sleep noise until you begin to cry/get loud enough to be concerned.

Gently shakes you til you wake up

“Babe? You were having a nightmare.”

Gently pulls you so you’re laying on him, and wraps his arms around your back.

“Wanna talk about it, or do you want me to distract you?”

If you want to talk: Makes humming noises as you talk, to let you know he is listening then he rubs your back till you fall asleep again.

If you wanna be distracted: tells you a funny story or gets up with you to get you a snack/drink. Offers to turn on a movie/some music to help you fall asleep

Sharon Carter (courtesy of my bf)

Rubs your back/arm to wake you up

Hugs you really close to her and asks you if you want to talk about it

Has trouble getting to sleep because she’s worried you’ll have another nightmare and she won’t hear it

Shuri

Says your name a few times and then shakes you awake when that doesn’t work.

“Hey, you we’re making noises in your sleep. Was that a nightmare?”

Hugs you and strokes your hair/back very gently. Probably makes some sort of comforting cooing noise that she learned from T'Challa, from when he comforted her when she had nightmares as a kid.

“How about a midnight kitchen raid? Can we get you a drink or something to eat? Maybe stop at the bathroom on the way to get you some tissues?”

Stephen Strange

Surprisingly kind and gentle about waking you up

Makes you your favorite tea (or hot cocoa if you don't like tea) and talks to you about your dream as you drink it

Very empathetic and listens very carefully

Reads to you or talks to you to help you fall back asleep

Steve Rogers

Calmly rests a hand on your shoulder/arm and whispers your name.

Tells you you were whimpering/crying in your sleep, then asks if you would like to talk about it.

If you say yes he helps you sit up and offers to get you something to drink first.

If you say no then he scoots as close to you as he can get and pulls you over to lay your head on his chest.

Plays with your hair and whispers reassurances to help you relax.

T'Challa

Unsure how to approach it at first because he doesn’t want to scare you by waking you up but also doesn’t want to leave you in your dream.

Hums and makes comforting noises to soothe you

If those don’t work, he will gently rock you in your sleep, like you’re a child

Worst comes to worst and he has to wake you up, he will apologize for it and ask if there is anything he can do to help you feel better, like get you something to eat or drink

Thor

Say your name once or twice, straining his neck to peer over at you to get a better look at your face.

When he sees you’re asleep, he is very confused about why you’re making so much noise.

If he realizes it’s a nightmare he would curl up behind you, spooning you and wrapping his arms around you.

He sees nightmares as a personal battle, and while he can’t be there in your dreams to help you defeat this bad guy he can support you on the outside and be there for you when you wake up.

Tony Stark

Has experience with nightmares.

Knows immediately what is happening, and is very efficient about waking you up.

Knows exactly how to comfort you/calm you down, and probably has your favorite comfort drink close by incase you want it.

Valkyrie

“Uh…”

Has to hype herself up to do it, very unsure about waking you up

“Hey… uh… babe?? Could you wake up? Please?”

Not really sure what to do once you do wake up

Hugs you awkwardly but relaxes into it

Offers you the nearest alcohol bottle

Vision

“Darling? Daring, you’re having a nightmare.” Gently shakes you awake.

Rubs your shoulders/back to help you calm down and walks you through deep breathing/counting to ten.

Offers to give you a massage to help you relax

Wade Wilson

Gently pulls you against him, cuddling you closely.

Whisper reassuringly to you even though you’re still asleep.

“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’ve gotcha. Nobody’s gonna hurt you while I’mm around, I promise.”

Wanda Maximoff

An expert at handling nightmares, much like Tony.

Has a bottle of water and your favorite snack on her side table for times like this.

Gently shakes your arm, calling you by your pet name.

Holds your back to her chest as you recover, gently rocking you or helping you drink some water.

Hums to help you relax and runs her hands up and down your arms.

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bestofblackwidow · 4 years ago

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The "Let me go - it's okay," she told him the last time we saw the Black Widow, it was - to say the least - emotional. "Let me go - it's okay," she said to Hawkeye, plunging to her death on the arid planet Sleeping in Avengers: Endgame for the ultimate sacrifice to save the world. While the deaths in the Marvel Cinematic Universe go on - sorry, Iron Man - there was probably no more heart-stopping moment, since the former SHIELD spy who became Avenger gave her life to recover the Soul Stone.

Still, it left the MCU in a bind. For years, a Black Widow film had been mooted, right back to 2004 at Lions Gate Entertainment before the rights reverted to Marvel. When Scarlett Johansson first appeared as Natasha Romanoff - the former KGB assassin with a very particular set of skills - in 2010's Iron Man 2, it didn't take long before questions were asked about a solo outing. Marvel Studios conductor Kevin Feige even held discussions with Johansson, who was then only 25. But there was a caveat, he said. "The Avengers comes first."

While others - Thor, Captain America, Black Panther and even Ant-Man - had their moments in the spotlight, the Black Widow was forced to wait. And wait. And wait. Not that Johansson thought that her character demanded the same treatment; if she was going to be in front of a Marvel movie, there had to be a reason. "Is there anything exciting to do creatively, as an actor?" she says. “Will we be able to do something extraordinary and strong? And something that stands on its own? "It's what makes the independent Black Widow an intriguing prospect: an inauguration of Phase 4 of the MCU promises to step back in time before her dramatic death to answer the provocative questions that still hover over her Crucially, the script transports audiences back to the events right after Captain America: Civil War, after that huge internal confrontation of the Avengers.

Without relatives or an organization that employs her, the Black Widow is alone, says Johansson. "It gave us the opportunity to really show her when she's kind of out of her game, you know? Because of that, anything was possible." The actress was there "from the start" at the script meetings, as they began to figure out how to delve into Romanoff's origins. "You are trying to map all of this ... which is extremely stressful," she laughs, "because there are no guidelines."

Fortunately, Johansson was not alone. In another inspired choice for the MCU canon, Feige recruited Australian director Cate Shortland, best known for discreet dramas like Somersault and Lore. While she was surprised, Shortland was encouraged by the creative freedom that Marvel was offering. “They allowed me to be myself and encouraged me to make a movie that I was passionate about,” she says. "We were allowed to have a lot of nuances and make a character-oriented film."

After several Skype sessions with Johansson, who also receives producer credit, Shortland worked with a Russian researcher to embody Romanoff's dark story: "the red in my ledger", as she told Loki in 2012 in Os Avengers. As she sings in the trailer, "We have to go back to where it all started" - the promising teaser clips of Romanoff as a young man (played by Ever Anderson, daughter of Paul WS Anderson and Milla Jovovich) in a childhood that seems far from idyllic. That's what makes Black Widow a family reunion of the kind that only Marvel would have the courage to conjure. Joining Romanoff is Yelena Belova, a sister-sister and fellow murderer who trained alongside her in the so-called Red Room, the punitive Soviet facility that produced 'Black Widow' spies.

"Their stories intersect," promises Shortland. "They clash." Played by Lady Macbeth's British star Florence Pugh, Belova is more than a physical match for Romanoff. Still, emotionally is where it really matters. "What Yelena does is kind of point to Natasha's pain," says Pugh. “She is part of Natasha's story. And I think that's why we have an opportunity to look at Natasha's story, because Yelena has been knocking on the door and says, 'Hey, let's deal with this pain. ”As Johansson comments, Belova is not just a carbon copy of his own character.

"She is completely alone. She is strong and different. She is so different (from) Natasha." Beside them are Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz) and Alexei Shostakov (David Harbor), two father figures whose own stories intertwine with Natasha and Yelena. "This is the coolest thing with this whole group of people. They all had parts of their past that they regretted," says Pugh. “They’re older. They’ve had more life experience. They know more about the system, about this world they’re all living in.” Harbor, the Emmy Stranger Things nominated star, managed to put an indelible mark on the muscular Shostakov, better known as the Red Guardian super soldier, the Russian equivalent of Captain America. "There is a gangster quality to him," the actor smiles. "And he's covered in tattoos. He's got a beard and those gold teeth. He's crazy." But after years of making bad decisions, he's also full of remorse.

"He's in a bad situation," adds Harbor. "And he needs redemption." Weisz's character, Melina, is another who experienced the rigors of the Red Room, a place that put her in contact with Natasha and Yelena. Marking his first dive at the MCU, Weisz acknowledges that the film addresses the idea of discovering his favorite family. "It's definitely about finding out where you belong and where you came from, and what your background story was, and who you really are, and what matters to you - your ideology, I think." Along the way, Feige made reference to The Kids Are All Right - the 2010 Lisa Cholodenko film about a same-sex couple raising two teenagers. "Which is so weird," laughs Johansson. "You would never expect that from a Marvel movie." no it was the only strange nod to the film. Harbor speaks of Shostakov in terms of Philip Seymour Hoffman's drama teacher in the dramatic black comedy The Savages.

Or even expressing "the pathos of a small town, independent, family-run, weird movie... like Little Miss Sunshine". More understandable cinema references include "things like Logan and Aliens and The Fugitive," says Shortland. "We saw movies like that." Certainly, it's easy to see comparisons between Sigourney Weaver's determined Ripley, from James Cameron's masterpiece Aliens, and Johansson's Romanoff, an Avenger who has no superpowers. "We saw it as a force," says Shortland, "because she always has to dig really deep to get out of shit situations." According to the director, everyone in the production invested in deepening Romanoff - even Scottish composer Lorne Balfe (Pennyworth, His Dark Materials), who replaced Alexandre Desplat's original choice. Balfe looked at the character's origins, says Shortland. “He said, 'I want to put it on the ground, because it has been dug up in the movies in the past. I want to give her that flesh and blood. 'And he created this soundtrack that is really Russian."

However, perhaps the real blow here is to recruit Shortland, the first female director to face the Black Widow (and only the second, following Captain Marvel co-director Anna Boden, to enter the MCU). "This film would not be what it is without Cate Shortland," says Pugh. "I think having her eye, and having her mind with this script, has taken her to a whole different realm." Johansson agrees. "" You can feel it was made from a female perspective ... cooked there. "Although Ray Winstone's casting as Supervisor of the Red Room Dreykov (whose daughter contributed to the abundance of red in Romanoff's book, according to Loki) add more to the psychological battleground that the Black Widow will explore, it also deals with victimization, a very pertinent topic in the current climate. The Red Room itself is where trainees are brutally sterilized. "You will see that these women are hard working and strong, and they are murderers - and yet they still need to discuss how they were abused," says Pugh. "It is an incredibly powerful piece."

Judging by the 2020 Oscars, where Pugh and Johansson had their own private relationship session on the red carpet, the two actors got along very well. "She has a really beautiful career ahead of her ... she's a very special person," says Johansson, excited when Pugh's name is mentioned. More specifically, Pugh may well have more Marvel to chew on, if it is rumored that her character will take on the 'Black Widow' mantle for new adventures. By learning Parkour, kickboxing and knife fighting for role, Pugh can safely cut things physically, though she's reluctant to claim that the Black Widow is just a setup for future outings. "Even though it is obviously where everyone wants to go and want to think - think about what comes next - this film never really seemed to be what he was trying to underline." According to Johansson, however, test the audience who saw the film thinks otherwise. "Her character and her performance are so dear." Now, after more than a year of pandemic-related delays to July 2021), it will not be just a few lucky spectators who will be able to see. Black Widow will even be the first Marvel movie to debut simultaneously on the Disney+ streaming site (with a 'main hit' fee), an understandable move considering the uncertainty that still exists around the world. And in fact, after the success of the Marvel TV shows WandaVision and The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, it doesn't seem like such a strange home. Johansson believes that fans will respond to Black Widow, with this flashback of an earlier part of her life, bringing more poignancy to the Endgame's outcome. "Our goal was for them to be satisfied with this story; that maybe they could have some solution, I think, with the death of this character, in a way. It seemed like people wanted this." Shortland agrees. "We felt that we should honor his death," she says. And the Black Widow will surely honor him.

#blackwidow interview #totalfilm black widow #scarlett johansson interview #cate shortland blackwidow #scarlett johansson #florence pugh #david harbour #rachel weisz

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sarkywoman · 3 years ago

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Writing Asks

Tagged by @under-the-shady-tree, thanks!

20 questions, writer’s edition, let’s go!!

How many works do you have on AO3? 85

What’s your total AO3 word count? 712708

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Oof, uh... since like, 1999? Um, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Andromeda, Supernatural, Heroes, NCIS, DC, Marvel, The Umbrella Academy, Kingsmen, ASoIaF/Game of Thrones, Borderlands, Community, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Doctor Who/Torchwood, Final Fantasy, Harry Potter, Misfits, I think I’ve forgotten some...

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Noble Blood (Game of Thrones, ASoIaF - GRRM) A Song of Bastards and Wards (ASoIaF - GRRM, Game of Thrones) Young God (Borderlands) Story and Sorcery (Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel) My Shame is True (The Umbrella Academy (TV))

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to! Comments are so important in the fanfic community and I know how hard it is to think of something to say about a story, even when you’ve loved it to bits, so I don’t want people to feel ignored. Especially because I appreciate comments so, so much! I will say though, I have lapses, often when my mental health isn’t good, where I simply don’t know how to respond to people and then months go by and I feel weird about replying... so sorry if you’ve ever commented on one of my stories and got silence - it was me not you!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? The Aimless One (Misfits (TV 2009)) Straight up the saddest story I’ve written, no question. Normally writing sad stuff doesn’t make me sad but I had to take a break in the middle of this to just try and grapple with the idea I’d had because it tapped into a lot of depressing thoughts I have about life and death in general. The comments were all complimentary but so upset that at first I was like ‘hooray, it had the desired impact’, then after a while I started to think ‘why did I want to hurt people like this?’

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Probably Realising All You Ever Wanted, a Hobbs/Dirk fic for the Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency fandom. There’s such minor conflict in that one that the sugary sweet ending isn’t out of place.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Well. I have some fandoms that are sort of crossovers already, things like Marvel where you have comic versions and movie versions and it doesn’t really feel like a crossover to be picking and choosing. Same with a Dirk Gently/Thor fic I did, because Thor cameos in the DG canon, but not this Thor. I think the most ambitious crossover I’ve worked on was a collaborative chatfic with @freshgratednutmeg that we’re never likely to post, where the need for more background characters in an Umbrella Academy A/o fic led to it being crossed over with Marvel and Brooklyn 99. (Leading to such amusements as Diego sparring with Rosa, and Five competing with Shuri in class.)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yeah, but it’s never been very well-reasoned so it’s been fairly easy to dismiss. Some people expect everyone to share their own perspective of the characters and it’s weird.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Not really. I can go there and have done on occasion, but it doesn’t interest me very much. I think I did it more when I was younger because I felt like it was a necessary aspect of grown-up fanfic writing (when I started I was a teenager amongst mostly adults... or other people lying about their age too lol). These days I’m more likely to fade to black or allude to the acts. But I’m not averse to writing it or anything, but it’s never the focus of my story.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Only in the sense that I see them on other sites I didn’t upload to, sometimes in other languages, sometimes not. They normally say my name somewhere on them so they’re not stolen as such, but it’s still uncomfortable to see my work circulated to other sites without my permission.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not with my permission, but yeah. I don’t know how to feel about translations. Obviously I want people of other languages to be able to read my work, but at the same time I’m not fluent enough to be able to check the translator’s work, so I won’t know if they’ve done any better than google. Word choice is pretty important in fiction. A bad translation can totally warp a text.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not for posting or sharing, but me and @freshgratednutmeg cowrite all the time.

What’s your all time favorite ship? All time?! That’s impossible to answer. I’m a multi-shipper for starters, in pretty much every fandom I’ve been in. When I find a ship I love, I love it intensely above all others for the duration of the fixation. Then eventually it gets set aside when I find a new fandom. I’m also indecisive enough to not really have an all-time favourite anything.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A Song of Bastards and Wards (ASoIaF - GRRM, Game of Thrones). I can’t begin to describe the pages of notes I have for this beast. Unless I threw them out, which... scanning my room... is a distinct possibility. Ouch. I’d hoped to parallel the books for a long time with this one, but the amount of work for a project like that is too much when you’re no longer as passionate about the source fandom. I suspect what I might do is scenes with interconnecting notes, just so people get some sense of closure.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, baybee! Kinda makes me want to be a scriptwriter. People are always telling me that the characters ‘sound like’ them. I think it’s from reading voraciously from when I was young and being quite a social child, that moving speech patterns and quirks into writing is something that comes very naturally to me. Too natural, in fact, because IRL I write how I speak and that’s not always suited to the situation.

What are your writing weaknesses? Most things other than dialogue. Even thought processes are an internal dialogue, so they’re okay, but then like... a fight scene? A sex scene? Just even... what are their hands doing while they’re talking? How are these people physically present? Where are they? Are they inside, outside, is the building on fire? My descriptive skills are lacking, to say the least. It’s something I’m working on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m not quite sure what’s meant by this. I’m not fluent in anything other than English so I don’t see that would work well for me. I know a few phrases in German/French/Welsh/Latin/Spanish but nothing useful for conversation. Dropping in words can work, if it’s the same way the speaker would use them amidst their English. Most of the time the characters I’m writing wouldn’t be speaking in another language anyway. We can blame the tag-team of English colonialism and American media for that one I think. I think that sometimes authors utilise a character’s language in a way that just exposes how little the author actually knows of the language and that’s a bit cringe for me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. None of those are online atm because they’re so so bad XD I should post them just so people can see improvement but... I can’t even read them, they’re hilarious. The most gratuitous self-inserts, the most ludicrous arguments, the most out-of-character romantic declarations.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm, that’s a quandary. I think I’ll differentiate between favourite to write, and favourite end product. Favourite to write was probably Noble Blood (Game of Thrones, ASoIaF - GRRM) because it was just a romp through my favourite themes. Given it’s one of my most popular stories, I’d say that just proves you should write what you want! I was going to quickly say Young God (Borderlands) is my favourite fic for quality of the finished product, because I pretty much just sat down one evening and spilled it into a word doc then reread it back and thought ‘huh, did I write that? Awesome’. But I’m happy with a couple of more recent things I’ve done for The Umbrella Academy fandom, notably The Price of Parenthood, which is very different to what I usually write and is a look at the life of one of the mothers who gave up her child to Reginald. Also The Water Calls, which was the only thing I managed to write for the recent MerMay event. It took me a little while to puzzle out how it all fit together, then once I had it worked out it came together wonderfully and I was very happy with the tone of it.

Tagging anyone who fancies doing it.

#long post #this was fun #like being interviewed lol

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what-is-your-plan-today · 5 years ago

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CSI Rogers and Barnes: The Serious Cereal Serial Killer Ep 14- Second Star To The Right

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: The team desperately try to figure out where Rumlow has taken Katie, and their investigation leads them to a place that’s a little far from home and a very familiar face to one of the team in particular…

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words.

Episode Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Song for Episode: Stars by Simply Red

A/N: Who’s up all night to get Loki??? As always we live for re-blogs and comments

CSI R&B Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Can’t you see that I wanna fall from the stars, straight into your arms.

Steve, Bucky and Thor sat in the squad car as it raced through the streets of Brooklyn, sirens blazing.

“Can this thing not go any faster?” Steve looked at Thor, his tone snappy.

“I know you're worried about little Stark, Captain, but we don't want another car accident do we?” Thor replied to which Steve gave a frustrated growl but before he could snap again his phone rang.

“What have you got Nat?” he demanded.

“Stark’s car left the precinct” She confirmed “And it pinged a few ANPR cams along the route so she was definitely heading to the lab.”

“Thanks Nat.” he sighed “Do me a favour, call Tony will you? Get him to head outside, see if her car is there.”

Without another word he cut the call and focussed ahead once more. At least they knew she had left, and they were following the right tracks. Even if it seemed to be taking forever.

“Are you flooring it?” he said exasperatedly.

“I can assure you I am driving as fast as I can.” Thor replied and from the backseat Bucky noted the patience in the blonde officer’s tone.

“I should have gone with her.” Steve slammed the palm of his hand over the front of the dash in front of him. “Why didn't I insist and for once ignore her fucking stubbornness?”

“’Coz you're a stubborn ass as well.” Bucky said gently, attempting to lighten mood a little.

“Buck, just don't...please.” Steve sighed.

His phone started to ring again. He glanced at the screen and swallowed, before he answered.

“Tony…”

“Her car is here but there’s no sign of her.” The scientist spoke quickly. “There's a bag on the floor, an evidence bag...”

“Fuck!” Steve cursed loudly.

“Cap…” “Just hold fire Tony.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose “We’re not far off, I’ll explain when we arrive but don’t let anyone touch her car or the evidence ok?”

He cut the call and turned to look at Thor then Bucky “Rumlow must have gotten to her at the lab. But how the hell did he know she was gonna be there?”

“I'll call Nat.” Bucky said, “Tell her to check the Traffic footage carefully, see if it looks like she was being followed.”

Steve tapped his phone against his palm, nervously as Thor continued to speed through the streets, the traffic parting for them as the sirens and lights were both blazing and flashing respectively. With every rise and fall of the wail, he was repeating Katie’s name in his head, like a mantra. The thought that Rumlow had her somewhere was enough to knock him physically sick and the fear of what he could be doing to her cascaded over him in waves which were drowning him, suffocating him. He could feel the rising panic in his chest growing stronger and stronger and he closed his eyes, struggling to keep control of his breathing. He felt a hand on his shoulder, strong fingers squeezing softly. Just once. But that was all it took to bring him back from the brink of sliding under the surface of his panic completely and he glanced round at Bucky who simply gave him a reassuring nod.

After what seemed like an age but was, in reality, little over 15 minutes since leaving the Precinct they arrived at the lab. Thor had hardly brought the car to a stop when Steve was out, heading over to where Tony was stood, waiting by Katie's car.

“What the fuck is going on Cap?” he demanded, glaring at Steve.

“Rumlow.” Steve gulped “I think he's taken her Tony.”

Tony looked at Steve, blinking before he shook his head. “No…that’s…” he held Steve’s gaze and Bucky noticed the almost identical looks of devastation the two men wore. There were no smart quips from Tony to Steve as usual, nothing but a stunned silence which in itself was enough to tell everyone how upset the man was. Knowing that Steve wasn’t faring much better, Bucky decided to step up into his second in command role and glanced up, taking a relieved breath when he spotted what he was looking for.

“Tony.” he spoke clearly and the man turned to him as Bucky pointed to the CCTV cameras “Do those work?”

“As far as I'm aware.” he nodded.

“Ok, let's start there.” Steve said, Bucky’s observation kick starting his brain. He turned to Thor and pointed to Katie’s BMW “Thor, keep the scene secure.” “I’ll send Banner out to take a look.” Tony declared before the 3 men headed inside. No one spoke until they reached the main part of the lab and no sooner had the door closed when Tony rounded on Steve, his eyes blazing.

“How is this possible?” he spat, his finger jabbing Steve in the chest “How did you let this happen Rogers?”

“I didn't.” Steve sighed, his head dropping as shook it sadly from side to side.”I didn't let anything happen Tony.”

“Well Rumlow obviously knew where and how to take her and you didn't foresee any of it!”

“I don't know Tony ok?” Steve’s voice cracked as his blue eyes locked onto the dark irises of Tony’s holding his gaze as he assured Katie’s brother “But I’ll do whatever it takes to get her back”

“Sometimes I admire your giddy optimism” Tony shook his head.

Bruce who had been watching the pair of them from his desk gently walked across the lab, his white coat billowing slightly around him. “Erm what’s the rumpus?”

Bucky once more took the initiative and jumped in as he could see Steve was tearing up. “Katie has been taken Bruce, we suspect by our killer, Rumlow. Her car is in the parking lot but there's no sign of her.”

“Which reminds me Banner, I need you and Pete to go down and give it a sweep.” Tony turned to look at him. “And just so you know, if it takes all night, you stay all night…” “I didn't pack my toothbrush.” Bruce said in an attempt to lighten the mood but it fell flat.

Peter, in contrast, enthusiastically nodded “Yes Mr stark...whatever you need.”

The two men bustled around, grabbing what they needed for their kits before they scooted out of the lab.

“Tony…” Bucky turned to him “We need to speak to security and view the CCTV of the parking lot.”

“Yes…” Tony said, clapping his hands together, his left hand worrying the finger of his right “Jarvis, he’s our head of security…”

Steve was hearing words but not taking anything in. He was aware he was being of no use whatsoever but he felt like all his effort were being taken simply to keep him upright as the ground below was wavering dangerously as if it was going to swallow him at any moment. NO matter what he did, no matter what he tried to focus on the same thought swam to the forefront of his mind-the fate of all the other victims. His girl, his beautiful Star was completely at the mercy of a man who had shown them exactly what he is capable.

And Steve was scared.

Bucky glanced at his friend, saw the look on his face along with his slumped shoulders. He was dejected and he needed kick starting. He knew that all the needed was a glimmer, a slight lead that would give Steve something to focus on and go at like a dog with a bone. But until then Bucky had to keep him from spiralling. And when Steve was like this, the only way to get through to him was being brutally honest.

“There’s no body Steve.” Bucky said bluntly, ignoring the wince Tony gave besides him because he was being blunt on purpose. To drive the message home to Steve that Rumlow wanted her alive for whatever reason, and that worked in their favour. “That's a good thing.”

“I guess you're right.” Steve looked at him “But that doesn't make it any easier or…” “Come on pal, we’ll find her.” Bucky said, clapping his hand on his shoulder and holding his friend’s eyes. But it didn’t have the desired effect. Instead Steve gave a derisive snort and turned his head to the away.

“Yeah, because we've done such a good job of finding Rumlow so far.” he said sarcastically.

“Ok enough.” Tony snapped “We need to move and check that CCTV instead of just standing around here, kicking up a storm...”

Tony led them down to a small office on the 2nd floor which contained a desk and 3 rows of security monitors, each showing a different feed from the various CCTV inputs around the building.

“Jarvis…” Tony spoke and the dark haired man spun to face them, smiling.

“Good afternoon Mr Stark.” he nodded “What can I do for you?” “This is Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes from the 101st.” Tony introduced them.

“Pleasure to meet you Sirs…” Jarvis nodded to them.

“Yeah, erm, we need to see the CCTV of the parking lot. Start from…” Steve glanced at his watch. It was now 10 past 12 and Katie had left the station with the evidence roughly half 9, meaning had she driven straight here she would have arrived at 10 am give or take. “09:45…” Steve said, looking at Jarvis.

“Of course.” Jarvis turned and started to tap at a keyboard.

“Why does he speak like a British butler?” Bucky asked but Steve completely ignored him. As Jarvis brought up the footage, Steve instructed him to scan through and eventually, at 10:02 Steve spotted her car pull into the lot.

“Roll it from there.” he instructed. Jarvis hit play and they all watched the scene play out in front of them. Katie climbed out of her car and no sooner had she done so she was immediately approached by someone dressed in a black hooded top and jeans, their face hidden. Katie dropped the bag and her hands slowly raised to either side of her face, and Steve swallowed as he can see the form of a gun pressed into his girl's back. He watched her carefully, as she was led around the car, to a waiting black Volvo SUV at which point she turned and looked directly at the Camera, making sure it got a clear shot of her face. Then, the kidnapper grabbed her hair and shoved her in the car before slamming the door.

At that point Bucky reached over and hit the pause button.

“I'll get Nat to run that plate.” he said. Steve nodded, running his hand over his face as Bucky stepped outside of the room, phone in his hand.

“Cap need to get her face out there, get everyone looking for her.” Tony looked at him

Steve shook his head “that might risk him doing something stupid…” “More stupid than abducting her in broad daylight?” Tony’ tone was incredulous.

Steve swallowed, Tony had a pretty good point. By doing what he had, taking Katie in such a well monitored spot showed he wasn’t bothered about covering his tracks anymore. This was about ending it, in whatever sick and twisted way he had planned.

“Ok, I’ll have Gina call Fury, get him to speak to the press office” he agreed, turning to Bucky a he walked back into the room.

“The car is registered to a hire company. Clint and Nat are on their way over there now.”

“Thanks Buck. Let’s head back to the station, wait for them there.” “I’m coming with you.” Tony insisted, and Steve didn’t argue.

The Captain spent most of his time on the way back barking orders to Gina on his phone, which meant by the time the strode back into the bull ring of the office she was ready and waiting for him with a print out.

“Any news?” she asked kindly.

“No, not yet.” Steve shook his head.

“I called Fury like you told me to and he sent this over.” she waved the paper. “He said that now Pierce is dead, it seems there's suddenly information available on Rumlow, and that you and Thor should see this in particular.” “Me?” Thor frowned as Tony, Steve and Bucky both turned to look at him.

“Yeah.” Gina nodded. Steve took the paper from her, scanning the information and his mouth dropped open. "Son of a…” he grit his teeth and let out a growl “Seems like we finally found out what prison he was in..." he handed the paper to Thor.

“This…” Thor frowned “This is the same as my brother. He shared a cell with him on Asgard?”

“Asgard?” Bucky frowned.

“Yes it’s a wing of the Nine Realms Prison.” Thor replied.

“When was the last time you spoke to your brother?” Steve asked.

“They day he was charged…almost 4 years ago now Captain.”

“Then suit up, I think it’s time for a family reunion” he said, gravely a he turned to Gina “Call ahead, tell the Warden we are on our way.

***** The Nine Realms was a little further out of town than the Lab so would take a little longer to get there, even with the sirens blazing. Steve remained quiet, lost once more in his own thoughts, his eye flicking to the radio set when it blared out an all Units alert for the car Katie had been taken in.

He groaned inwardly as a sudden realisation hit him. If this was going to hit the news, then there was someone who needed to hear it first. Pulling out his phone he hit the relevant speed dial button.

“Hey Ma.” he said as soon as his Mother answered.

“Hey Son! Make my day and tell me you're coming for Lunch!” her voice was jovial and hearing it broke Steve that little bit more. “Are you bringing Star? I can make another pie and-"

He swallowed thickly “No, Ma, I just called to warn you... “ his voice cracked again and he stopped, forcing himself to keep it together.

“Warn me?” Sarah’s voice was surprised before she suddenly grew stern “What have you done Steven Grant?

“Nothing Ma...just listen.” he pressed “Try not to worry but don't watch the news, please,”

“Steven, you're worrying me. What's happening? Are you ok?”

“Not really. Katie is missing.”

There was a pause before Sarah responded, and Steve could picture the puzzled face she would be pulling on the other end of the phone “What do you mean she's missing? How? What...i don't understand...”

“We were working this case...you know....and... “ his voice choked and at that point he felt Thor’s eyes on him. Unable to hold it back anymore he drew in a ragged breath, trying to quell the sob of anguish that was threatening to rip from the very depth of his heart. Thor gripped his shoulder as Steve scrunched his face up, and he felt the phone being gently pulled from his hands.

“Little Stark has been taken Mrs Rogers. This is officer Odinson by the way...” Thor said, his deep voice calm. “Yes....ok...I understand. Yes madam.”

At that point he looked at Steve who wiped his eyes and nodded, taking the phone back off him. When he spoke again his voice was small, he felt just like that little kid from Brooklyn, way before he had gone off to University. “Ma?”

He could hear his Ma’s sniffles at the other end. “Stevie, darling, I just...”

“Don’t cry…just try not to worry and don't listen to the radio or watch the news. I'll keep you updated, ok?” he said, glad that his voice had returned to normal.

“Ok son. I love you....be careful.” she whispered back.

“Love you too.”

“Oh and Steve?”

“Yeah?” “Bring her home ok?

At that Steve could do nothing but choke out a “Yeah.” before he hung up.

"Don't worry Cap, we'll get her back.” Thor said confidently, looking at him.

“I hope you're right Thor, because I don't know what I’m gonna do if we don't.” Steve mumbled as he glanced down at his phone. His screensaver was a pic of him and Katie taken on their date. He’d changed it the moment he had chance after taking it. They were in Times Square, and he had his arms round her from behind, chin resting on her shoulder, his cheek pressed to hers. Huge smiles lit up both their faces, their eye shining with happiness at finally getting that moment together, to be with one another, admitting what they’d both been too stupid to realise for almost 10 years.

It felt like forever ago since Steve had taken that phone, but it wasn't even a week. In fact, a week ago today they were busy screaming at each other in his apartment after the whole Compound incident with Wanda and Storm, before they ended up furiously fucking against the door. He'd give anything to have her back, just in his arms...

“You and Little Star are destined to be.” Thor’s voice cut through his thoughts. “This will work out Captain, I have faith.”

Steve didn’t bother to tell him that he didn’t believe in fate. Like Howard had always told him, “You make our own luck in this world, Steve.” The problem was, right now he felt like whatever little they had made was fast running out.

**** After going through the usual security check, which took a few minutes because apart from the usual phones, wallets and keys, they were carrying their guns and badges, they were led to the Nine Realms Prison Warden's office. There, Mr. Selvig, who offered to receive them personally seeing as he was Thor's friend, explained to them he had instructed for Loki to be taken to an interrogation room so they could talk more privately and comfortably.

Thus, after a bit of small talk and thanking Selvig again, a prison officer showed them to a room just off the Asgard Wing which was where the troublemaking prisoners were locked. When they entered the room they found Loki sitting at a table, handcuffed to the ring on the surface in front of him. Thor sat on a chair on the opposite side while Steve remained standing.

Despite everything going on, the Captain couldn't help but notice how physically different the two siblings were. While Thor was huge and blond, Loki was slight and dark haired. But then again as Thor had pointed out in more than one occasion when his brother's deeds were brought up in a conversation, Loki was adopted. What was the surname Selvig had mentioned again? Lauki... Laufeyson was it.

"Great to see you brother." Loki said, and Steve was snapped from his thoughts by the silky voice of the prisoner, surprised by the smooth and elegant ways of the man. Was that even a soft British accent he could detect? Had Katie been there she would have surely spotted it, but she wasn't...

Steve tried to brush the negative thoughts out of his mind and focus the conversation between the two siblings.

"I wish I could say the same, Loki. Last time I saw you, you tried to stab me. Again" Thor snarked.

Steve could see Thor certainly wasn't pleased with his brother's behaviour and a stern look adorned his face whereas Loki merely grinned, as if he was recalling the fondest of childhood memories before sighing.

"Yes. I would rather be at home, in a robe, eating grapes but... here I am."

"You're evil, brother. This is where you belong. Father would..." Thor began again, his voice raising with anger.

Steve saw Loki's smug smile fade at the mention of his father, a second before he hissed "He wasn't my father..."

And that was it. Steve lost his temper and walked to the table. He had to get whatever information he could to figure out how to rescue Katie and he felt like the mischievous dark haired man was stalling.

"Ok. That's enough." he said, leaning over with both palms flat on the surface of the table. He looked at Loki, studying him for a few seconds, before softening his glare. "Loki, we need your help."

"What do you have for me in return, Captain Rogers?" Loki asked, studying Steve as well with curiosity.

"You're in no position..." Thor growled.

"Oh, and here I was thinking you came bearing gifts..." Loki said calmly, leaning back on his chair.

"Loki, we know you shared a cell with Rumlow." Steve offered, looking at the man. His voice was steady but his eyes were pleading and he felt like Loki might have sensed it.

"Crossbones." he said, looking at Steve in the eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"Crossbones. That's what he called himself. Rather crude if you ask me but there you are." Loki shrugged and paused at the two men in front of them who were waiting for him to continue "Yes, I shared a cell with him until his release. Now I have a cellmate called Korg. It was a bit rocky at the beginning but we have an understanding now. We discovered we both love the same videogame. It's called Ragnarok and you have to..."

"Brother! About Rumlow..?" Thor cut him off.

"Oh, yes. He was an odd man. Used to mutter in his sleep. Strike was what he would say the most. Always had letters to go into the post."

"He was writing to someone?" Steve asked, suddenly interested.

"Well, I don't think he was writing letters to himself... do you, Captain?" Loki quipped, raising an eyebrow at Steve.

"Who?" Thor asked, visibly irritated at this point.

"How should I know? I can't read minds, I'm not a witch." Loki snapped at his brother.

"Then why do you dress like one?" Thor asked, nodding towards Loki.

"Hey..." he protested.

Steve was getting frustrated by the minute. Last thing in his mind was discussing Loki's choice of attire, which truth be told was conspicuous to say the least. So he pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned on the table again before speaking.

"Loki, we need to know."

"And like I said, I have no idea. He wasn't exactly friendly..."

"You're a murderer, Loki. You killed 18 people in 2 days. You're not the friendliest either” Thor interrupted again.

"Relax brother. You've had a stick up your ass ever since Jane dumped you..." Loki jabbed at his brother.

Thor shook his head in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe his own brother had brought up this old flame of his, and looked at Steve "It was a mutual dumping."

"I don't give a shit." Steve snapped. As far has he was concerned the only love life that mattered, because it was at stake, was his own. He turned to Loki and started pacing the room, trying to calm his nerves, before speaking again. "Rumlow has taken someone very precious to me... I need to know anything you have that may help. Otherwise we're wasting time here."

"Precious, you say? A woman I presume." Loki mused and he then looked Steve up and down, his eyes stopping at the Captain feet "Kneel."

"What?" Steve asked, obviously angry.

"Kneel, Captain. The laces to your boots are undone... I'd hate for you to fall." Loki explained, shrugging.

Steve looked at him for a few seconds, dumbfounded, before glancing down only to corroborate Loki was right and, just as he was about to bend his knee to lace them up, Loki stomped his foot beside him, which startled both, him and Thor.

"Sorry, I had an ant on my boot..."

"Enough of the theatrics, brother! Now tell us what you know!" Thor yelled standing up, his large fist banging on the table.

"Ok, look... he was bitter. Very bitter. Used to mumble all the time in his sleep about revenge and striking back. When I asked him what he meant he said once he was out he had a plan. A plan to take revenge on everyone he deemed to have wronged him. He would pick them off one by one, building up a grand finale." Loki explained, loquacious all of a sudden.

Steve gulped at Loki's words and straightened up, turning away.

"But I can guarantee he wasn't working alone." Loki added, tuning his head to look at Steve's back.

"What?" Steve snapped back round.

"I said I would lay odds on the fact he wasn't working alone. He's not the brightest person I've had the displeasure to speak to... and I would further bet this is who he was writing to. If I was you I would look for someone in your immediate surroundings. Someone with a grudge against you Captain, or maybe against someone you love dearly..."

No sooner had Loki uttered those last words than Steve and Thor shared a glance and the latter growled "Maximoff..."

They burst out of the room without so much of a glance back at Loki, almost tripping on the guard that was perched outside the door, and Steve could hear a faint “You're welcome” but he couldn't care less about manners given the situation. As soon as he had gotten his phone back, he turned it on and called Bucky who immediately started talking, without giving him a chance.

"Steve, listen... Natasha and Clint got back. The car was hired by a woman. Steve... they got a copy of the driver’s license used, and it's a fake name but the photo on it is..."

"Maximoff." Steve finished for him, almost panting as he was running down the prison parking lot, Thor a few steps ahead of him.

"Yeah, how did you..."

"Doesn't matter. Gather the Avengers and meet us at Wanda's place. We're heading there now." Steve ordered.

***** When they arrived at Wanda's apartment block they met Bucky and Tony at the entrance talking to the landlord. Bucky explained they had arrived a few minutes ago and had contacted the landlord on the way after asking Gina to pull some strings from the station to get Wanda's address and the landlord's information. He informed Steve that Clint and Nat would be coming after a while as they were trying to get a search warrant from Judge Hill. They tried buzzing the intercom a couple of times but there was no answer, which didn’t surprise any of them. So, after being let in by the landlord, the three officers ran up the stairs followed by Tony, taking their guns out in the process, until they got to the tenth floor and Thor signalled to Wanda's apartment door.

He looked at Steve, who nodded, before sticking his ear to the door. Thor shook his head after a few seconds.

“Nothing…”

Steve nodded again before Thor and him raised a foot.

“Wait!” Bucky said, and they both turned to him. “Steve, if we go barging in there without a warrant, you could jeopardise the entire case.” “I don’t give a fuck about the case.” Steve shook his head “All I care about is my Girl.” with that he looked back at Thor “One, two…” With that they both raised their right feet and with a large kick each they successfully booted the door in. Steve could tell there was no one in there. But they still waited for Thor who entered first to make a quick sweep and then give them the green light before entering the apartment.

"Spread out. Look for anything that might help. Any evidence Rumlow has been staying here." Steve ordered, Captain Rogers taking over from the concerned boyfriend again.

They started sweeping the apartment looking for something that might belong to Rumlow or that might be evidence of what they were plotting and, most important, where they were planning on taking Katie. If ever there was a plan to take her seeing as the MO in her case had been a little sloppy. They rummaged every drawer and cupboard in the apartment, they even searched the kitchen high and low but nothing came out. At this point Clint and Natasha arrived, Clint clutching the warrant and they started the search but it all seemed rather pointless as they found zero evidence of anything that would help….until Tony spotted what seemed to be a small utility room or toilet which had a lock on the door.

"Really? That easy, Wanda?" Bucky heard Tony mutter when he found him bent over the lock.

"Found something?" Bucky asked.

"Might as well. Have you got a hair pin or something?" Tony asked, standing up straight again.

Bucky looked blankly at him.

"Guess that's a no. Ok, then. Do you think you can boot the door open? S.W.A.T like?" Tony asked.

"Stand back." Bucky answered, before tearing the door open with a swift kick of his foot.

"Good job. I'd have done it myself, but I'm wearing loafers" Tony thanked Bucky.

They both peered inside only to discover that the room wasn't as small as it had seemed from the outside. It was like a spare room with a wardrobe, a single bed, a desk and a chair. Bucky immediately reached for the wardrobe and found a few items of men clothing hanging on the inside.

"Steve!" he yelled.

A few seconds later Steve emerged in the door followed by Thor, Clint and Natasha.

"What's all this?" Steve asked, looking from the wardrobe to the various folders that were on the desk and that Tony was inspecting.

"I bet they're Rumlow's:" Bucky said, nodding to the clothes.

"I'll call the lab and send Banner to process all these. I don't trust anyone else with this.” Tony offered as he fiddled with his phone until Natasha stopped him.

“We already called him.” she said. “He’s on his way.” Tony and Steve both nodded. “Thanks”

Tony picked up one of the folders he had been flicking through, frowning slightly.

"What is it?" Steve asked, nodding to the file held in his hands.

"They're basically pictures but.." Tony trailed off as Steve moved to take a look. He felt the blood pounding in his ears as he looked down.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed, snatching the pile from Tony's hands. There was shot after shot of Katie and Steve. Most seemed to have been taken outside of his apartment as they headed towards his car, hand in hand. One of them showed Steve giving her a quick kiss before he opened the passenger door for her. Another one showed them leaving the station together. Then there were several of her own, walking out of Tony’s apartment to her car. There were even a few of Katie and Bucky as they headed out of the station together.

“That was Thursday I think…” Bucky mumbled “We went for coffee. This is sick."

Steve’s chest was heaving with the exertion of trying to keep his temper at the photos of in his hands.

"Cap?" Tony called Steve’s attention and he turned as Tony held out another pile he had just inspected. Steve looked at Tony who had gone pale and felt his hand shaking a little as he grabbed the snaps off Katie

What saw as he shuffled through them froze his blood. They were single, close up head shots of each of the other victims, however they were all crossed off by a large, red X drawn directly over their faces. Only one remained still untouched as he reached the end of the pile. Katie's.

Still, Steve thought to himself as he run his thumb over Katie's smiling face.

He looked up as Banner walked into the room, nodding to them all and made his way to Tony who wasn’t listening. Instead he was frowning at another picture he had found, presumably from another pile on the desk.

"Hey Cap.." he said waving it at Steve. Steve looked at it and saw that it was a photo of Pierce and Howard in NYPD training gear, "... isn't this..?"

"Camp LeHigh" Steve confirmed Tony's suspicions "Me and Katie were only talking about that last night... " he trailed of at the memory of his girl cuddled in his arms only a few hours before he pushed it to the back of his mind. "What are Pierce and your dad doing there in their sports stuff?"

"Dad said in the 60s, before it was an activities camp, it was an old army base the NYPD used to use for drills." Tony explained. "They must have been on one when this was taken. But why does Rumlow have it? Why does it mean anything to him?"

Steve then looked at Bucky and swallowed before looking at Tony again whose eyes were glued to the picture.

"Tony... Rumlow is Pierce's son." Steve said, almost whispered.

"What?" Tony asked, his brow furrowed and his eyes wide open in surprise.

"Katie was on her way to tell you before." Steve paused, taking a deep breath "... he got a 16 year old pregnant. She died in childbirth and the child, Rumlow, was adopted. We believe he found out and was using the information to blackmail Pierce over the rape case and later the assault charge on Katie. It looks like your dad found out and..." he trailed off again, shaking his head.

"Spit it out, Rogers." Tony growled.

"We think Pierce killed your parents to keep his secret from getting out. Katie wanted to tell you herself, that's why she was alone when she brought you the evidence..."

Tony fell speechless for a moment, which was something to say the least. Steve saw him blink twice and then look at him "This...all this is what was on that drive?" he asked,his voice quiet.

Steve nodded but he didn't see what was coming when Tony rushed forward and gripped his shirt tightly. Steve stumbled backwards into the wall in surprise.

"So you're telling me...Pierce KILLED my parents, and now his BASTARD SON has my sister?" Tony hollered at him, his face only a few inches apart from Steve's.

"Tony, I'm sorry." Steve whispered, his face flinching in anticipation for what was coming. And came it did in the form of Tony’s fist connecting straight with the left hand side of his upper lip. Steve’s head snapping to the right as there was suddenly a lot of commotion in the small room as Nat, Clint, Bruce and Bucky both rushed forward. Bucky jumped straight in between the two men as he saw Steve made no attempt to fight back, reverting once more to that little kid from Brooklyn that Bucky was persistently bailing out from fights throughout their entire childhood.

And Bucky knew the reason for that was simple. Steve thought he deserved it. He believed that Tony was right, this was all his fault because Katie shouldn't have been alone.

Bucky held Steve by his arms and shook him slightly to bring him back from the place he was in.

"Hey, are you ok?" he checked.

Steve nodded, pushing him away as he wiped a trickle of blood from his split lip.

"Tony, look, I know you're upset...but this isn't gonna help anyone." Bruce said, his hands on the man's chest as he wrenched his arm out of Natasha’s hold from where she had grabbed it to stop him throwing another punch.

Thor, who had left a few minutes before to speak to his troops at the station, appeared again on the threshold of the door. Bucky saw him take in Steve’s split lip and how Bruce was pushing Tony away, but he didn't pass any comment. Instead, he looked at Steve. "Captain...dispatch called... we have a ping on the plate. It tripped one of the cameras 10 minutes ago on the interstate, heading out to New Jersey."

"Bucky, Thor, we’ll go after it." Steve, ordered.

"I'm coming too." Tony said.

"Tony...I don't." Steve began.

"Listen to me Rogers, that's my fucking sister, so I'm coming." Tony hissed.

"Tony maybe that isn't the best idea...." Bruce intervened.

"Steve, if he wants to come let him, we don't have time..." Bucky urged.

Steve then nodded and ordered Nat and Clint to help Banner get the evidence to the lab, and asked Nat to instruct dispatch to secure channel 7 and keep all related coms through that channel alone.

"Channel 7 secured." Nat said a minute later as she fiddled with a pair of gloves. "What? I can multitask." she said to Banner who was looking at her in amazement.

"Ok. Let's go." Steve said and the four men sprinted out of the building to the patrol car.

"Jump in." Thor ordered as he fired car up.

As soon as they set off heading in the same direction as the suspect car had been travelling in Steve called Fury to explain what they had discovered and where they were headed.

"Leave it with me Captain." Fury assured him once Steve had finished explaining.

"What are you gonna do?"

"Something dramatic I hope. Stark, Maximoff's and Rumlow's photos are currently being sent to all news networks...soon there will be a Nation-wide alert for them and I'll order a code red on the plate of the car too." Fury informed.

"Thank you, Sir." Steve said quietly.

"Keep me up to speed." Steve could almost see Fury nodding fondly.

As Thor sped the car along, weaving through the traffic as it moved out of the way, Steve could feel his anxiety growing and tried so hard to keep the negative thoughts at bay and focus on what they already knew. But he found himself drifting through memories, memories that went way back over the years they’d been friends. Happy memories, tense memories, fond memories, sad memories…none of them he would change for a damned second, and even the shit times he’d go through a thousand times over because it brought him to the now. To being with her, to laying with her, making love to her…

He was pulled out from his thoughts as they got a call on the designated dispatch channel to inform them that the vehicle had been found somewhere on the road to New Jersey. Steve keyed the coordinates into the navigational system and Thor concentrated on following the directions.

After what felt like an age they arrived and were met by two officers from the New Jersey force who informed them the car had been abandoned a few hundred yards or so down the small dirt track off the interstate. Thor took charge in talking to them and as the other three ran to the car, Steve could hear him instructing them to keep area clear as a potential crime scene.

"2 sets of tracks in, 1 out." Tony, who was looking at the ground as they walked towards the car, pointed out.

"So they swapped cars." Bucky surmised.

Steve was already looking around the abandoned vehicle, peering in with his hands on his hips, whilst Tony was getting his kit ready and putting a pair of gloves on. From where he was, Steve could see nothing other than an empty water bottle, but as he moved to check the back seats he noticed something sparking in the light in the footwell of the left hand side. He leaned forward to take a better look as he called for Tony and Bucky, who had also put a pair of gloves on. He was almost sure it was Katie's star necklace.

Steve had an epiphany moment as Tony grabbed the necklace and showed it to him before putting it in an evidence bag before handing it to Steve.

"Oh, Baby...you clever, clever girl...." he breathed out, shaking his head proudly. He smiled at Tony and then wheeled to the officer who was talking to Thor and barked "How far is camp Lehigh from here?"

"About 6 miles sir...but it's been shut for 6 months..." the officer said, not fully understanding what that would have to do with anything.

"Steve what is it?" Bucky asked, sensing the change in Steve's behaviour.

"Everyone, get in the car, now! I'll explain on the way." he shouted as he started sprinting back towards the patrol car.

Thor, Bucky and Tony shared a glance and Tony shrugged before the three of them followed Steve's tracks and all jumped in the car. Steve was already re-programming the sat nav as Thor sat back in the driver's side and fired the engine.

"He's taking her to camp Lehigh...Like Katie said...he's a narcissist...and he's made it personal." Steve turned back to inform Tony and Bucky as he pointed to the navigator for Thor to check it.

"Personal?" Bucky asked.

"Of course. That's the point of all this..." Tony groaned.

"She must have figured it out, that's why she left the necklace behind." Steve said, this time his eyes fixed in the road ahead. His mind picturing the moment Katie sussed where she was being taken and yanked her necklace from her neck.

"Necklace? I'm not..." Bucky asked.

"Me and Katie...we took a trip to the Camp a while back. It's where I bought her the star pendant." Steve cut him off, his hand fisting around the bag in his pocket "... to help her remember that even in the darkest of nights, the stars are always there, even if you can't see them." he explained, choking up slightly at the last part.

She was his star, always there.

Bucky saw he was getting upset again and leaned forward to squeeze his shoulder. "Star spangled man huh? Or should that be Stark spangled man..." he joked.

Steve gave a small smile. Bucky was right, he was the Stark Spangled Man. He had been over the last ten and a half years and was determined to keep it that way even if he had to strangle Rumlow himself with his own hands. He ran that mental image through his mind and felt a strange sense of satisfaction washing over him as the vision of him kicking the shit out of Rumlow hit his brain.

That was settled, he would get his girl back and Rumlow was going to pay for real this time.

When you gotta go, you gotta go and now it was that bastard’s time to go, Steve thought as the car sped towards its destination.

#csi rogers and barnes #csi au #steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x original female character #bucky barnes #mcu #mcu fanfiction

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latent-thoughts · 4 years ago

Text

The Pursuit of a Simple Life (Chapter 5 - HQ)

[Co-Authored with @emeraldrosequartz]

Rating: 18+ (there be lots of citrus here).

Warning: None

Pairing: Loki/Original Female Character

Summary: Three years after returning to Earth with the other Asgardians following Ragnarok, Loki finds himself working for SHIELD, truly just trying to fight the boredom. While on an undercover mission, he unexpectedly begins to fall for his co-worker, Gemma, and she seems to feel the same way…about Dave, his alter ego while in disguise. Can Loki continue a relationship with her while keeping his true identity a secret? How many lies can the ‘God of lies’ spin to keep his pursuit of a simple life?

[Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017); THOR IS A GOOD BRO AND TOTALLY NOT HOW HE WAS IN RAGNAROK, THNX; Infinity War Doesn’t Exist; Everyone lives]

A/N: Thor and Loki catch up. Gemma gets excited to see Dave again. A little too excited.

(^^^^Credit to @briannacherrygarcia)

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IMPORTANT NOTES:

Bold Text = Loki’s POV

Normal Text = Thor’s POV, then Gemma’s POV

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Thor hung up the receiver with Fury and a slight smile crossed his lips. It had been several months since he and Loki had an opportunity to see each other, and he was honestly curious about how his brother was doing.

This new life as a SHIELD operative seemed to be suiting him well, though Thor was certain he would have become bored with it by now--Loki’s magpie mind was always looking for the next shiny object to attract his attentions. And once he found it, he’d obsess over it, just like always...

Thor chuckled quietly to himself as he headed for the lounge in the R&R area of SHIELD headquarters. He’d been so busy with the diplomatic efforts of giving the Asgardians some kind of legal status and protection, he’d hardly had time to even think about Loki other than the occasional question about how to approach a difficult political situation. It would be good to see him in person.

He reached the lounge, ordered the largest cup of black coffee he could, then sat on the somewhat uncomfortable couch and flipped through emails on his cellular device--as primitive as it was, it did come in handy here on Earth.

Loki walked into the lounge and found Thor uncomfortably spread over a couch, checking his phone. Strange, how he had finally adapted to Midgardian life.

"You need a haircut," he said without preamble, leaning against the couch and pulling at his ponytail. "Hasn't Brunhilde been mocking you relentlessly over it? I paid her to make certain you didn’t let yourself go in my absence."

Thor’s smile widened as he stood.

“Loki! It’s so good to see you, brother!” He brought his wayward sibling in for a hug, wrapping his arms around him in a bear-like embrace. “How are you? You look well!”

Loki tried his best to return the hug, but soon, he was left gasping as Thor nearly squeezed all the breath out of him with his powerful embrace.

"Thor, cannot breathe," he choked out, punching his arm as he laughed.

Once Thor let him go, he shook his head and muttered under his breath, calling him an 'uncultured oaf'.

It was all in good humour, of course. This was how they greeted each other these days. It was far better than greeting each other with violence, at least.

"I am well. Being Midgard's best spy is quite enriching. Though, Romanoff loves to call me a hack and cribs about me having snatched her job." He grinned as he spoke, settling down on the couch with Thor. "Now you tell me. How's New Asgard? Are the people coping better now? And what happened to your attempts at reaching out to a certain astrophysicist for a reconciliation?"

Thor’s throat tightened at the mention of Jane, but he did his best to brush it off and maintain his excitement at seeing his brother again.

“The Asgardians are...adapting, slowly but surely. Certainly the most difficult thing has been learning to live without the use of the advanced technologies we took for granted before...well, you know. But they are healthy, and strong, and resilient. I am proud to be their king.”

Then he returned to his seat on the couch and sighed a bit, taking a sip of the bitter brew.

“And Jane is...well. We speak on occasion, but...sometimes I think just being on the same planet with her isn’t giving her the distance she says she needs.” He looked at Loki with a sad smile, the heartbreak and resignation apparent, though he tried to hide it.

“But I hardly have time to worry about it, what with all the meetings and negotiations lately. I think we’re almost at a point of agreement with the Norwegian government. If things go as planned, we’ll officially have sovereignty over the three small islands we’ve been living on; we’ll be the second smallest country on Earth, only slightly larger than the Vatican. Though that particular government has not been helpful. It’s interesting how religious humans behave when meeting us...”

Thor felt uncomfortable...things hadn’t progressed as he’d hoped, and he fought the ever-present feeling of failure with everything he could. Sometimes it wasn’t enough.

But that didn’t matter right now.

“And how is your current assignment--you’ve been undercover for quite some time with this one. What has it been, three months? Are you nearly done?”

Loki saw the sadness and struggle in Thor's eyes as he spoke before he changed the subject, and it really made him feel a bit guilty for leaving his people behind to go on SHIELD missions. But then again, what could he do staying in New Asgard? The world knew him to be dead, so there was hardly any role for him to fit in.

It was for the best that no one knew of his presence here on Midgard, for it would only jeopardize the chances New Asgard had to be a free kingdom.

"My assignment is indeed coming to an end... soon." He looked down at his hands, thinking of Gemma again as he spoke. "I had to spend some time ingratiating myself into the company, picking apart its secrets. Now that the groundwork has been laid, it's time for the final act. I'll be out of there within a week or so."

“A week? Well then, on to the next exciting adventure, right brother?” Thor slapped him on the back, slightly harder than he knew was comfortable. But he saw that look come over Loki’s face when he mentioned the end of the assignment...that was unusual.

“Is there...something about this assignment that was different? You don’t seem to be as enthusiastic to move on. Perhaps unfinished business or a loose end?”

Loki blanched at Thor's questions. He didn't need him to be perceptive... not now.

"Not really. It's just that, you build a life and live it for more than three months, and it starts to become your normal life. It's just hard to suddenly move on from that, like a hard shift from the first gear of a vehicle to the fifth gear straight." He shrugged, deliberately stalling the conversation as the server brought in his tea.

After they were left alone once again, Loki took a sip of the tea and glanced at Thor, worrying that he was onto him somehow.

"Fury also told me to lay low for a while. I'm trying to think up a new hobby to spend my time on while I wait for a new assignment."

Thor had known Loki long enough to know when he was masterfully evading a direct answer, and the nervous sparkle in his green eyes meant there was much more to the tale than what Loki said. Thor grinned.

“Ah...and what hobbies have you been considering?”

Though he felt like he was setting himself up for disappointment, Thor had an inkling--just a tiny gut reaction--that Loki may have already found that new focus for his attention, and this time, it wasn’t architecture.

"How does clay modeling sound to you?" Loki asked jokingly, laughing at Thor's nonplussed reaction. "Or maybe I should take up cave exploration...I just learned the word for it: spelunking. Isn’t that odd?"

He drank his tea while Thor focused his steady icy blue gaze on him. Norns, he badly wanted to talk about Gemma, but it was far too soon... and he didn't know how he'd pull her back into his life again after the mission was over.

"You seem to be expecting something else from me, brother. I swear, I won't do anything bad. Except mess with Steve Rogers a bit. It's been a while since I’ve done that."

Thor laughed heartily, nodding in agreement. “Yes. Steve has finally stopped looking around the corners before walking down hallways--your last bit of mischief made him quite paranoid.”

Perhaps Loki wasn’t ready to share...but then again, when would be the next time they would get to see each other in person? And...there was always the fear in the back of Thor’s mind that Loki might backslide again, into that terrifying madness that had ripped him away the first time.

Maybe...just one more small push would be enough. After that, he would let it go.

“Is there something I should be expecting, Loki? Anything you might want to speak of that weighs heavy on your heart? I don’t know when we might next see each other, and if I may help to unburden you in some way, please...I’m all ears.”

He laughed at the somewhat disgusted look Loki gave him at the use of that Midgardian colloquialism, but Thor just smiled warmly back.

Loki sighed and put his now empty cup down, finally feeling like he should at least tell Thor about it. After all, there was no one else. They were the only family they both had...

"I met a woman," he said quietly, looking down again. "And I think I'm growing quite fond of her. I took her to my apartment... day before yesterday. She spent the night."

I knew it! He met someone!

Thor’s knowing smile barely concealed his excitement for his brother.

“And...how was it? She’s still in her right mind? All of her limbs are still attached?”

Loki gave Thor an exasperated glare then. But that quickly dissolved into a shared chuckle between the brothers.

"She was fine, just a bit dazed I think. But that's what happens when I take a lover, they just go glassy eyed." He was very aware of the fact that he was describing his own reaction to Gemma as well. But he let it slide, for there were more important things to discuss. "But on a serious note... I feel guilty."

Thor certainly understood why he would feel that way; Loki wasn’t exactly available ...even in his disguise. That persona would be wiped from any and all records as soon as the mission ended.

Thor lowered his voice and leaned toward his brother. “Do you plan to see her again? After the company you’re investigating has been shut down?”

He knew, on the one hand, that it was out of the question--one of those non-negotiable rules of the role he played for SHIELD. But on the other hand, as Loki’s brother...he wanted so much for his sibling to finally have made a connection with someone. So much so, he may have even been willing to encourage an exception if this new woman was becoming more than a fling.

Loki swallowed hard, pursing his lips as he looked around them furtively.

"I want to." He locked his eyes with his brother then, and gave him a pleading look. "Please don't jest about it. And don't share it with anyone. Not yet. I don't know how... but I'm thinking of a plan. I can't just let her go like that..."

Thor’s heart nearly burst with excitement in his chest. So this was serious...serious enough that Loki was already scheming on how to make it...well, how to make something work.

“No jests, Loki.” Thor put his hand on the back of Loki’s neck and pulled him in, so their foreheads nearly touched. “If you feel this woman may be worthy...I will help you however I can.”

Deep down, he had to admit that helping Loki was somewhat selfish...perhaps it would ease his issues with Jane if Loki were to have a female companion.

Loki was a bit surprised that Thor was so readily supportive of him this time. There was no judgment in his words. In fact, he sounded relieved and happy.

"Well, she knows me as this man named Dave, from England." He laughed mirthlessly as he explained his conundrum. "I am not him, and he is not me. But still, my feelings are honest and true. I know that I'm probably fixating on her, but I want to take this chance. I'm just... " He shook his head, looking away once again. "I've been solitary most of my life, and then lonely too. I do want companionship, and Thor... she's so sweet and good natured, everything I'm not. I feel a strange pull towards her. I don't want my job at SHIELD to ruin this."

“I know, Loki. I understand.” Much in the way that Loki fixated on his obsessions, Thor fixated on helping others. And he was especially focused on helping Loki--after all they’d been through, he wanted nothing more than to have that connection with his brother again. And if helping him build a relationship with this woman would do that, then there was no way Thor would let it slide.

“You deserve happiness, Loki. As we all do. We will figure this out. Barton has a family--exceptions have been made.”

Loki nodded, taking a deep breath to calm his chaotic mind.

"Thank you, brother." He put his hand over Thor's and squeezed it. "Your support means a lot to me. Likewise, if I can help with anything, I'm always there. You know that. Distance means nothing to me."

“Yes. Of course, Loki.” He leaned back and waved his cellular device at the God of Mischief. “You can send me an electronic message! Or a textual message! Or we could simply play FarmVille...that pastime can be most infuriating without the help of friends.”

Thor stood and hugged Loki once again, then held his shoulders as he gave him a genuine look.

“I missed you, brother. We will get through this.”

With that, Thor swallowed what was left of his coffee, and bid Loki a fond farewell.

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Gemma was elated. She couldn’t stop smiling--it was so bad her cheeks constantly hurt. But she didn’t care. She was completely infatuated with Dave...and he seemed to be feeling the same way!

After that night together, they hadn’t seen each other--his schedule had him out of the office often, so it wasn’t surprising. That first day back, she was disappointed to see his empty chair pushed in at his perfectly organized desk...but she did find a small box of what looked like very expensive chocolates at hers, and a note written in the most beautiful handwriting she’d ever seen.

“Hi Gemma. Sorry I missed you. Thought you would like these. Terrible reception where I’m going, might not have signal. Can’t wait to see you again.

Dave.”

Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw them, and the note made her melt...she even moaned a little. And they were the best chocolates she’d ever eaten!

Even though she wasn’t able to reach him on his phone, every day after that there was a little token on her desk--a small vase of flowers, a cute art print to decorate her cubicle, even a gift card to her favorite coffee shop. It was wonderful...but it made her miss him so much. She wondered where he was traveling...and if he was thinking about her as much as she was thinking about him...

Now finally, it was Friday. And she almost jumped out of her skin when she turned the corner to her desk and saw him sitting there, his broad shoulders leaning over his desk in that crisp baby-blue Oxford shirt.

She quickly walked over to her desk and put her things away, then booted up her computer, trying to KEEP IT TOGETHER AND NOT FLIP THE FUCK OUT.

“Hey, stranger...” she said quietly, a huge stupid smile stuck on her face. She tried to hide it.

Loki knew that she had seen him the moment she entered the hall. After all, there was that beautiful blush on her face...

He dearly wanted to go over and chat with her, but he just couldn't. He was heavily loaded with tasks, and quite a few of them were related to his mission.

But that didn't stop him from sending her heated looks from across the aisle.

The company was going to be demolished the day after, and hence, he was inundated with work, both farcical and real.

Oh well... he was willing to wait...

After all, he was already planning on how to keep her even after the mission. He wouldn't let her go so easily.

Just as he sent an important message to Fury regarding freezing of the company's hidden assets, he heard Gemma's soft greeting.

Looking up, he saw her standing at his desk, trying her best to look like just an employee... greeting her co-worker.

"Hello Gemma," he said, smiling as he stood up. He couldn't dial down on the heated look, as much as he tried. "How have the last few days been?"

What she REALLY wanted to say was, “Oh my GOD I’ve been wanting to see you every day! The gifts you’ve been giving me make my heart palpitate and I want jump your bones and fuck you in that side office over there RIGHT NOW!”

Instead, what came out of her mouth was: “Oh, you know, fine...”

She really couldn’t hide the giggle in her voice. Every time he spoke, she felt butterflies in her stomach. “Same old, same old. You? Any new clients you’ve landed over the last week?”

She sat at her desk and logged into her email, casually checking on that day’s tasks while blushing furiously and trying to control herself as she waited for his answer.

Loki moved over to her desk and leaned against her cubicle wall as she typed and tried to curb her blush from deepening. She was utterly incapable of doing that.

"A few, yes. But I had a miserable time, traveling here and there," he replied. "I wasn't where I actually wanted to be."

His insinuative answer made her blush even harder. She felt like she was in a fairy tale...who WAS this guy?!

“Yea...me too,” she said softly. “Would much rather have been somewhere else...with someone else. But you know, bills gotta get paid, resumes need to be consistent...so we carry on.”

She turned to look at him, and that 1000 gigawatt smile he gave her almost made her squeal. She took a moment to collect herself, smiled back, and said as cooly as she could, “So, you wanna grab lunch today? I mean, I’m sure you’re busy, but if you have a few minutes, my schedule is pretty flexible.”

"While I am busy, I can certainly make exceptions for you," he stated, never breaking their eye contact. He lowered his voice as he continued. "Where do you want to go, baby girl?"

She was completely speechless. He called her baby girl?! In the office?!

That brought back SOOO many memories. Memories she still could have written off as fever dreams until he said those words…

“Uuummmmm.... I--I...”

Anywhere with you, Dave. I’ll go ANYWHERE with you, do anything with you. Take me, here, now, forever, just let me be yours!

“S-sandwiches?”

Loki almost laughed aloud at her answer. She was so damned adorable, he wanted to pick her up and spin her around.

And then fuck her silly.

But that would have to wait...

"Sandwiches it is," he said with a smirk, pulling away from her desk and heading back to his.

Now he just had to wait for lunch time...

Gemma couldn’t breathe. She had been waiting for this moment all week, and yet, she was STILL in utter disbelief that THE DAVE was interested in her. Not just interested...more than interested. He liked her.

Suffice to say, she got almost NO work done in the ensuing hours. Mostly she stared at her screen and clicked windows open and closed randomly while her thoughts spun with daydreams of Dave...

The memory of their night together...

The memory of the next morning...and the shower...

Imagining having her arms wrapped around his waist as they rode a white horse through the surf on a private tropical island...

Dancing on the streets in a city at night in the snow...

“Gemma?!”

She snapped out of it and turned around to see Oliver standing over her, his prodigious belly protruding so far over the waistline of his pants that her nose almost touched it when she faced him.

And all her happy feelings disappeared.

“Heeeey, Oliver...” she said weakly, with plenty of guilt. She wondered how long he’d been watching her...

“We need that TPX report on the latest cardboard sales figures ASAP, and we’re still waiting on the numbers for last year’s gross revenue versus projections. Do you have those done yet?”

“Um...no sir,” she said, shrinking into herself. Everyone was staring at the confrontation...including Dave. She wanted to die...

“Aha. Well, Ms. Spitznaegel, your performance certainly hasn’t been up to snuff lately. Plan to stay late tonight. I want those reports on my desk first thing tomorrow.”

“But...tomorrow is Saturday—”

“DID I STUTTER, SPITZNAEGEL?!”

Oliver’s perfectly round, bulbous head changed to a shade of purplish-crimson she hadn’t known existed in nature. She balked.

“No sir...I’ll have them on your desk before I leave tonight. I promise.”

“Good. Don’t mess this up, Spitznaegel. You’re on thin ice as it is.”

Then he walked away, leaving Gemma humiliated in front of the entire staff.

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[PREVIOUS CHAPTER] Ch-1; Ch-2; Ch-3; Ch-4 [NEXT CHAPTER]

#Loki fanfiction #Loki fanfic #Loki #MCU Loki #TPSL Chapter 5 #TPSL #Loki/OFC #Loki x OFC #romance #fluff #angst #idiots in love #Loki in disguise #false identity #Loki/Original Female Character #Loki x Original Female Character #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marvel fanfiction

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kayteewritessteve · 6 years ago

Text

Secrets and Sins - 2/13

Description: You flee from an abusive situation and find yourself on the other side of the country, creating new friends and possibly finding new love. But will you be able to escape your past? To truly move on with your life? Or will everything come crashing down around you in the blink of an eye?

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3,590 ish.

Pairing: Mobster!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Lots of curse words. Brief mentions of abusive behaviour, and moments of abuse—nothing to in depth but could be upsetting to some. Plus possible other triggering thoughts and feelings described.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors.

You woke up and instantly sat up straight, heart racing, covered in sweat. Your eyes searching around the room frantically, before finally realizing you were in your apartment. Alone. On the other side of the country. He wasn’t here.

The nightmares refused to leave you be, refused to allow you to forget. Every night they plagued your mind, taunted you. Reminded you of what was behind you, following you like a ball and chain. You could never really, truly, escape him. At least not fully. Not in your mind.

You grabbed your new phone off the floor beside you to check the time ‘9:13 am’. You sighed and flopped back down onto the bed, trying to allow your heart to slow down and return to a normal rhythm. You forced yourself to focus on the noises outside. Listening to the sounds of the city helped calm you. Reminded you where you were. The sounds of New York were so different from any other city you had lived in. Yet, also the same.

The sounds of cars driving by, the occasional honk of a horn, or holler for a cab. The murmurs of voices and laughs among friends. It made you feel less alone. Less isolated. Helping to remember you were on the other side of the country, behind his enemies’ lines.

There were no messages on your phone, but that was to be expected, no one you knew actually had your new number. You had ditched your old phone before even leaving Washington, knowing he could track it. And upon entering New York you had stopped and purchased a new phone outright under a fake name, refusing a plan and opting to just purchase minutes instead. Harder to track. Easier to ditch.

Though, you wished you had woken up to a few messages, at least ones pertaining to your car—or the sale of it, to be exact. But nothing, you may just have to junk the car soon. You couldn’t risk holding onto it much longer. He’d find it.

Finally, once you were all calmed down, you pulled yourself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, needing a hot shower to help clear your mind. Clear your thoughts.

You spent the day just hanging around your apartment until it was time to head to work. Dressing in black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt and black chucks. You pulled on your leather bomber jacket and headed out the door, checking the peep hole before leaving and locking the door behind you. You stepped onto the street and pulled the hood over your head before making your way down the sidewalk. Once again listening to the sounds of the city around you.

You arrived at The Asgardian and checked the time on your phone ‘3:40’. A little early but it’s better to be early instead of late. You pushed open the big mahogany door and entered the establishment. Something you were thankful you’d get to do many more times in the future. Stability was what you needed. Structure and repetition would help you settle.

The shift went smoothly, Wanda taking you under her wing and showing you the ropes. Your experience working in the pub back in Seattle all came flooding back, which was extremely helpful. You learned that the redhead's name was Natasha, but she preferred Nat, and that her bark was worse than her bite, though, even with that said, her bite was still pretty bad. You stayed out of her way and on her good side the whole shift, not wanting to make any more enemies. Especially not new ones. You had enough enemies as it was.

You also learned that Thor was the manager, and co-owner, and that he was in fact named after the God of Thunder. Something about his parents having an intense love for Norse mythology and legend. He definitely suited the name Thor though, he was not only massive, loyal and kind, but also fiercely protective and determined. Plus he seemed to really appreciate his staff, and that was more than you could have ever asked for, in all honesty. His brother, Loki, who was also named after a Norse God; the God of Mischief. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, but Thor assured you that you’d get that opportunity soon, as Loki was the other co-owner of the pub. You gathered that he probably wasn’t around much, minus at the end of the months to go over the books with Thor and check that everything was in order. Or as Thor put it, to check that his older brother hadn’t ‘given the place away’ or ‘screwed anything up’. Turns out the brothers also owned another pub on the other side of town and that’s where Loki spent most of his days.

Wanda and you became fast friends. Exchanging numbers part way through the shift so you could chat after work. She vowed to be your tour guide and help get you fully settled in. She also informed you of the other two woman who worked there, Manti and Gamora, who you would meet eventually. Whenever your shifts lined up.

Over the next two weeks you settled in well. Wanda and you became inseparable. You ended up meeting Gamora first, who was smart but reserved, and you could tell she wasn’t someone you’d want to piss off. And then Manti who was a little ditzy but super friendly and easy going. You continued to give Natasha a wide berth, only bothering her when it was urgent. Usually receiving a raised brow or a wicked smirk in response.

You met the regulars, they all seemed nice and relatively harmless. A few got a little to handsy for your liking but a quick smack on the hand and a stern glare usually set them straight. All and all you enjoyed working there. Enjoyed your coworkers and boss, and were just happy you had found this job so quickly.

Nearing the end of your current shift, you were just cleaning up a recently vacated table when Wanda came bouncing over, a wide grin on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes.

“Hey you!” She said excitedly.

You laughed at her excitement level, “Hey Wan’s, what’s up?”

“So I was talking to Pietro, turns out he just got a job as a bouncer over at this new club called Stark. His first shift is tonight and he said that he could get us in!!” She bounced with excitement before abruptly freezing in place, “That is, if we wanted,” she shrugged nonchalantly, but you could damn near feel the excitement still pouring off her.

“Oh, I’ve heard of that place, some of the customers mentioned it, it just opened up, yeah?”

She nodded quickly, “Mhmm….So you in?!?”

She was like a child on a sugar high at all times. Much like Thor. They were hilarious when together, both feeding off each other and making their personalities even more ridiculous and loud. Many times you had to walk away because your ribs hurt from laughing.

“Ah, I don’t really have anything to wear to a fancy club—“

She cut you off before you could even finish, “I’ll lend you an outfit, we can get ready and pre-drink at my place, all the girls are coming with!!”

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” You smirked with a raised brow.

Wanda shook her head adamantly and replied with, “Nope,” popping the P for effect.

“Okay, then I guess I have no choice,” you laughed.

Later that evening you found yourself at Wanda’s. Nat, Gamora and Manti were there as well. Wanda had a few dresses picked out for you to try, settling on a dark green off the shoulder dress. It had a high low bottom and accented your skin tone perfectly.

Wanda’s jaw dropped when you came out of the room wearing it and her reaction made you feel fantastic. The other girls chimed in their approvals as well. Then you all took a few shots and headed for the club, opting to walk as it was only a few blocks from Wanda’s place.

You finally met Wanda’s brother Pietro, after hearing so much about him, he seemed nice, very reserved and quiet. But not in a creepy way, just a stark contrast to Wanda. He got you all in ahead of the line, which brought back a few dark memories. You quickly shook your head to clear those thoughts, you weren’t going to allow anything to ruin this night for you. You entered the massive club and froze, there were so many people and the music was pounding. You could feel it buzzing through your bones.

Wanda grabbed your hand and pulled you over to the first bar she could find, turns out the club had 7 bars in total, 6 dance floors and was spaced out over two levels. To say it was a huge club was an understatement. It was by far the biggest you had ever stepped foot into.

You all took shots at the bar before deciding it was time to dance. You found a booth, Nat opting to stay at the table while you all danced. Something about her not being the dancing type anymore, and that she’d rather just watch from the sidelines. Wanda just giggled and shrugged—you guessed she knew Nat wouldn’t have wanted to join, even before she asked her—then dragged you and the other two out onto the dance floor.

The four of you danced for a while before you realized you needed another drink. Excusing yourself you wandered over to one of the bars, it was surrounded by people and you knew it was going to be a long wait. You pushed up to the front as much as you could, but the bartender barely noticed you. Figures.

You decided to look around a bit, looking up at the second floor balconies, clearly the VIP section. A few short weeks ago, that’s the section you’d have found yourself in. Miserable and alone, as no one was ever allowed to speak to you, especially men. And dancing was out of the question, entirely.

You started to feel like someone was watching you, granted you were in the middle of a massive club, but it still felt like someones eyes were locked onto you specifically. You searched around, trying to see if anyone stood out to you, more so than others. Your eyes landed on a figure on the second level, leaning on the railing, staring directly at you. You could tell. You couldn’t really make out his features, but he looked massive, tall, built, well dressed. Possibly blonde hair, maybe? Whoever he was he was you could feel his eyes on you. Yours locked with his and you could almost make out a smirk on his lips.

Shit. You quickly turned around, feeling slightly embarrassed, but maybe more so you were just used to ignoring any attention from men, pretending they didn’t exist as your life actually depended on it, on you not acknowledging them. He didn’t appreciate you talking to other men. Let alone them flirting with you. That would have been a death sentence for you both.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, you finally got the bartender's attention, ordering a couple shots and two drinks to take with you. Knowing that waiting for more drinks would fucking suck. Better to stock up while your here. You took the shots right then and there, before turning around, double fisting, and heading back towards the booth Nat was guarding. Probably with her life. You pitied any fool who crossed her, she would probably knock them out then flip a damn table on them or something. You cringed at the thought. Poor sucker.

But before you could reach the table someone bumped you, and fucking hard at that, and sent you barrelling straight towards the floor. You let go of your drinks in an attempt to brace yourself for impact. However, before you could hit the floor two large muscular arms caught you, and stood you back up. You turned around to thank whoever saved you only to come face to face with the most piercing blue eyes you had ever seen.

You stood there, completely lost in the azure eyes staring down at you. You abruptly shook your head, “Ah…Thank you,” you breathed out in a whisper. Clearly forgetting just how loud the music was, like he would even have been able to hear you. Idiot.

You watched as a smirk formed on his lips, one you knew could only mean trouble. Then he leaned down and whispered, “You’re very welcome,” in your ear. The heat of his breath on your neck sent a chill down your spine as goose bumps broke out on your skin. Then he stood back up, staring at you once again.

You watched as his eyes moved down your face to look at your lips before flicking back up to meet yours again. The small action made your heart take off at a gallop, and knocked the wind right out of you, instantly. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out so you promptly snapped it shut again and instead just nodded. Unsure if your voice would even work you decided to just flee the situation entirely, you quickly moved around him to head back to the bar. But as you did he turned on his heel with your movement and kept his eyes locked on yours. You took a few shaky steps back then awkwardly waved, seeing him laugh at that, before turning around and hastily retreating away. Cursing yourself under your breath for how unbelievably embarrassing that was, from start to finish. And how awkward you truly were. Fuck.

You reached the bar, and once again stood around waiting for the bartender to notice you. Wow, deja vu. This night was not turning out like you hoped, you were spending more time waiting on a drink then actually enjoying said drinks.

To your astonishment the bartender looked in your direction, his eyes widened and he damn near ran over to you. But once he reached you, you realized he wasn’t actually looking at you, but instead at someone behind you. You slowly turned around to see the same blue eyes standing behind you now. Still with that damn smirk on his face.

You gulped. This was just all so damn awkward. You really should just go home. Be done with this whole night. With these blue eyes that made you weak in the knees. He looked down at you before stepping up beside you, and placing a hand on your lower back. You looked passed him and noticed the people next to him stepping back to give him a wide berth. Which—was odd, no one had done that when you were last standing at this bar. The opposite of that actually, they all piled into you, like a damn mosh pit. Feeling him leaning forward you refocused on him, watching as he whispered something to the bartender who nodded his response then quickly turned away to start making a couple drinks.

Even though you were watching this all unfold, all you could focus on was his warm hand on your back. It sent heat all through your body and your heart was, again, pounding in your chest. You closed your eyes for a second, praying he couldn’t feel the insane beating of it through his direct contact with you. Exhaling a deep breath you slowly opened your eyes just as the bartender placed three drinks in front of you both. One was a golden amber colour, clearly some sort of scotch or bourbon. The other two were the exact same as the two drinks you had just dropped on the floor a few moments ago. What the hell? How did he— You turned to face him and found he was already looking down at you. A blush took over your face but you ignored it and finally forced out a few words. “So, what do I owe you?” You asked.

“Owe me?” He repeated, confused. Though it didn’t seem like confusion over what you asked, but more that he wasn’t really expecting you to ask that at all.

“Yes,” you nodded, “for the drinks.” You said as you pointed to them for effect.

He appeared to think it over for a moment before he responded smoothly, “a date.”

You laughed and shook your head, thinking it was a joke. Quickly realizing it wasn’t, and that he wasn’t kidding, you stopped laughing instantly to gaped at him with wide eyes. “Oh, you’re serious!?”

He leaned in again, “I don’t normally joke about those sorts of things,” his voice was firm, deep but also had a hint of amusement to it.

“Ah, well, I um, I.” You were flustered, to say the least and you just wanted to run in the opposite direction. How this man could still be standing here, talking to you, was unfathomable. You had to be the most awkward person he had even met and the fact he just asked you on a date was fucking insane. His hand that was still resting on your back was not fucking helping matters either. You stepped out of his touch in the hopes it would help you regain some control. “Ah, what I mean is, thank you for the offer but I’ll have to respectfully decline. I can pay you for the drinks though …if you’d like.”

He raised a hand and shook his head, clearly saying he didn’t want your money.

“Well, in that case, thank you for these,” you lifted up the two drinks as if he would have no idea what you were referring to. “And enjoy your night!” You turned to leave but before you could a gentle, yet firm hand gripped your forearm and urged you to turn back around.

Once you had he leaned in again, and you could swear he knew it was flustering you, and he was getting some sort of sick twisted kick out of that, “One question,” you nodded slowly for him to continue. His hand still on your forearm and his face still right beside yours, the scent of his delicious cologne was all you could smell in this moment, “Why have I never seen you before?”

You pulled back to look up at him and before you could stop yourself you responded, ”Oh, so you know every person in this city, huh?” Raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

He smirked and nodded, thoughtfully, “You could say that.”

His response made you a little more ballsy. Happy that you had managed to overcome your previous nerves, even just a little. “Well, clearly not,” you refuted. “Or you’d know who I was.”

“What’s your name, doll?” He abruptly asked, getting right to the point, eyes still locked on you. The pet name making your heart flutter and all of a sudden it felt like you had just swallowed a handful of pop rocks. But something in his eyes both made you both weak and scared as hell. You were not looking to jump into another relationship anytime soon, not only would it be extremely dangerous for you, but also for the man in said ‘relationship’ and you refused to risk another person's life. Not this soon after running. Maybe in a few years when this whole mess dies down and you could be a little more sure of your safety, and someone else’s. No, dating was not an option right now and if you stood here any longer you weren’t sure you’d be able to actually walk away from him. So you opted to not give him your name and instead fucking run in the complete opposite direct from those piercing blue eyes. Would you regret that choice? Oh, most definitely. Would it be the safest choice to make at this time? Fuck yes.

“Find me again one day and I’ll tell you,” you said as you turned, not giving him a chance to respond, and made your way through the crowd of people back to your table. You threw yourself into the seat, and chugged one of the drinks in your hand, receiving a raised brow from Nat. “Don’t ask,” was all you said before you groaned loudly and slumped down into the seat. Why did he have to be so damn attractive. Fuck.

The other girls appeared at the table a few moments later, Wanda sliding into the seat beside you, “Where did you run off to?! I almost thought you’d left?”

“Oh, you know, just making an ass of myself. No big deal,” you shrugged and over exaggeratedly pouted. She just giggled at you as she flung an arm over your shoulders and gave you a quick reassuring squeeze.

The rest of the night was fun, but you refused to leave the booth, for fear you’d run into blue eyes again. And though you still felt eyes on you the whole night, you just ignored it. Luck was on your side as you managed to make it all the way home without another run in. You stripped off your clothes and star-fished into your makeshift bed. Exhausted from not only the long day but also from the awkward and intense run in with—whoever the hell he was.

This would be the first night in a very, very long time that the nightmares left you alone. Instead being replaced by a piercing set of blue eyes and a smirk that you just knew would only mean trouble.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@tessvillegas @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers #mobster au #mobster!steve #au fanfiction #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #Secrets and Sins #chapter 2 #long post #long read #no super powers here

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tarithenurse · 6 years ago

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On my mind, in my soul - 18

Prompt: This will be the last chapter and is based on a prompt by @liesje86: “Uhm. “Simple man” the cover with Jensen Ackles, a white sandy beach on Hawaaï or something, and two identical daggers.” Pairing: Loki x Burglar!reader. Content: Swearing as usual, angst, mention of god and bad parenting, hints of loss, nervousness, fluff, lemons, anger. All sorts of good stuff. A/N: This is the last chapter! o.O Thank you all for the lovely prompts, it won’t be the last time I’ll work like that. I hope this ending is all you guys could wish for...except the spelling etc because I just REALLY wanted to share it, so I’ve not proof read it, meh. Please, reblog etc. if you did enjoy <3

Satisfied

… Loki’s PoV …

There are moments in a child’s life when they look upon their parents and wonder “what if”. What if the parents had never met? What if they never had decided to have children? Then the kid wouldn’t be in the world or maybe they’d be an only child or…

Thinking back, Loki’s thoughts had often been related more to the question of “why”, as in “why did his parents love each other” or at the very least why the love between them was so different and apparently impossible to spill over onto the youngest prince. No, that wouldn’t be fair to say, because Frigga did love her son and she did her best to make sure he knew that. Just like she would comfort him when he was sad or guide him when he felt lost. Frigga, queen and mother, was the one person Loki could come to for support or philosophical discussions. She was the one that saw his future as something bright and blessed, and she would spin tales rivalling the best penmanship to instill a longing within the heart of the young prince for all that was to come.

Mama told me when I was young: Come sit beside me, my only son

… Reader’s PoV …

This. Is. Quality. Stretching towards the cloudless sky above you, it’s all you can do not to spontaneously start giggling at the feel of the ocean lapping over your feet and caressing your ankles. Cool on your hot skin but not too cold that a swim would be anything else than heavenly tomorrow…today’s too late because the jet only touched down an hour before earlier and now the sun is setting across the endless ocean.

For more than a year now, Loki has been escaping with you to the most wonderful places on earth (so far) between working on missions with the Avengers. It’s not a life you expected even with the Asgardian as your partner in crime. Crime. Yeah, not a whole lot of action’s been going on on that front, obviously, and still somehow…you’ve got more than enough challenges to keep your mind occupied. Heists have been replaced by rescue operations; artifacts replaced with weapons. At least the way of working is still relatively the same in terms of intel and planning.

Cool hands snake around your waist, pulling you backwards against the hard planes of muscle of a similar low temperature, making goosebumps spread across your skin.

“I should have known you’d abandon me with the unpacking in favour of this,” Loki mumbles into you hair.

You turn partially in his arms, wanting to be able to kiss him but not wanting to give up the scenery beyond the glittering sea. “Can you blame me? Look at that view!”

Leaning back from the embrace, the god’s attention isn’t on the sunset. “Breathtaking.”

Then he holds you close, preventing you from saying anything until the sun finally disappears beneath the horizon in a display of orange and purples and anything in between. Breathtaking, yes.

… Loki’s PoV …

Unpacking had, in truth, been a simple task for the god who simply had left the butler with that responsibility (with the exception of one specific piece of luggage) and as the chef was already preparing the lavish dinner, Loki had found himself pacing. Restless. Nervous.

That very same insecurity still hunts the pale man all through dinner. He dotes on [Y/N], feeds her bites from the ridiculous amount of tiny dishes that have been prepared and offers her cool wines. But Loki can barely swallow a morsel himself.

His gaze is locked on the softly coloured lips that send him a shy smile. They are small talking, and it’s a challenge to stay focused on the subject when joy sparkles in the [Y/E/C] of the perfect woman’s eyes. Nimble fingers fidget with glass or delve into the silken hair that by now has become messy from the travelling. Messy, but oh so right, bringing attention to the wildness that bubbles just below the surface of her.

That’s who she is. His wild kitten. Intelligent, fierce, approaching any challenge with a calculative silence until she succeeds and lets go of the inhibitions for a while. Morals? [Y/N] never claims to be an angel, yet she has managed to show the god a different way – the way Frigga spoke of hundreds of years ago when Loki was a child in need of comfort and hope. Life had indeed turned out slightly different than what his mother had predicted because there is no Asgard and royal life (even as nothing more than a prince) and no plans of ruling or being distinguished beyond the scope of mortal man. It is…simpler.

“Hon?” [Y/N] manages to get through the fog of thoughts.

Her furrowed brows don’t relax until he has promised that everything is fine. “I was merely thinking…of you, in fact.”

“Oh?” A coy smile dances on her mouth. “Am I in trouble?”

“When are you not?” Loki can’t help but laugh. “You could be the Goddess of Mischief. Do not feign innocence when we both know it was you that swapped out everyone’s underwear.”

[Y/N] disguises a grin behind the wineglass, and when she moves the glass from her lips a seriousness has returned. “But what were you thinking? I know it was something serious…”

Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself Follow your heart and nothing else

… Reader’s PoV …

You watch with both wonder and concern as the god they call Silver Tongue struggles with his words, opening and closing his mouth several times as a faint red sheen crawls into his eyes where the pupils are blown. That bad? Reaching for his hand, you’re afraid he’ll pull away, but he doesn’t. Cold and slightly damp against your palm…and trembling.

”Please, Loki…” you begin softly, stroking his knuckles with your thumb.

The cold spikes and he pulls away, breaking a piece off your heart. ”Excuse me.”

He doesn’t even stop to pick up the chair after he topples it over in his eager to get away from you. Why? A cold, his cold, has gripped your chest so hard you have to struggle to breathe. What did I do wrong?

You’ve wanted to deny the signs, but this can’t be unseen. For weeks now, he’s become increasingly withdrawn, preferring solitude or simply losing focus, and it’s been getting worse even with a short respite after he and Thor had been away to some other realm or planet or whatever. For a few days things had seemed normal, then it started all over. This is the worst yet.

Bit by bit, lessons you’ve let from your new co-workers (especially Natasha) start to surface, diluting the self-deprecation with a healthy amount of anger and determination. Trucker turd! Your own chair screeches across the marble floor. I’ll be damn if I let him make me feel crappy on a vacation like this! And with that in mind, you march off the way Loki had gone.

You find him in the bedroom, crouched by his suitcase with the back to the door.

“Okay, listen up, mister!”

Hands on your hips and a solid footing, you plant yourself a few steps behind him. Gorgeous bedroom. The thought zips through your mind unwanted and you push it aside for now, ignoring the probably gorgeous view from the huge windows and balcony beyond…and the grand bed to your left which you’d been hoping to “break in” tonight rather than scold a god. But that’s life sometimes.

“I know, [Y/N],” Loki admits quietly, the tenderness in his voice catching you by surprise, “I’ve been…absentminded and distanced lately.” His back is still toward you, but you know the sort of pain showing in his eyes anyways. “You deserve more than that, I know, because you are…you have changed my life and me for the better.”

“Darling…”

The distance isn’t even reduced by a single step before he motions for you to stop. To wait. His shoulders rise and fall before he finally straightens his back and swirls around to face you. Still on his knees. Oh… Turquoise eyes root you to the spot. Big hands holds a footlong box.

“I wish could tell you all the reasons I love you…but there’s not enough time in the universe for it.” A dextrous tongue swipes his bottom lip. “Lady [Y/N] [Y/L/N], will you allow me to be your husband?”

With those words, he flips the box open to show the contents, but the world is becoming a blur to you, spinning the room slowly. Oh. Oh no. Not…how…

“But Loki…I’ll die from you!” You can hear it yourself, how broken your voice is.

As the first tear falls and your vision clears a bit, you see the man you love put the box aside and stand. His strong arms encircle you, holding you tightly against his chest. A part of you wants to push away, to save him from the real pain later by leaving him now because after all: it had been your plan to leave him eventually, so he didn’t have to see you grow old and die.

“My dear, I know your reasoning,” he whispers in your ear, soft kissing landing on your cheeks and lips, “I would not want to miss out on even a second of your life, I’ll be by your side forever because nothing can change what I feel. Please let me…if you truly love me.”

Pulling back as much as his embrace allows, you frown at him indignantly. “I do love you!”

“Then please…” He guides you to sit on the foot end of the bed before retrieving the box once more and kneeling again. “Please let me be yours.” The dark wood is padded on the inside with golden silk, cradling two nearly identical daggers perfectly. “I know of the Midgardian customs with the rings…however I thought you would appreciate the tradition from Vanaheim where the betrothed couple each carries a twin dagger, bound by magic and echoing the heartbeat of the person that carries the twin…”

“I’d always be able to sense you…”

He nods, proffering the box. And they’re gorgeous too. Of course he’s right in thinking you’d prefer this over a ring. The handles appear to be frosted glass with smoky tendrils of Jotun-blue at the centre and a bead at the very end while the blade itself is silvered and perforated by runes.

Those spell out Loki which means the other dagger has your name on it. Lifting the Loki-blade, you recognise the quality of the craftmanship.

“That would be the one you would carry…if you choose to…” the god trails off.

Carefully, you return the weapon to its place. Then you close the lid and set the box aside before sliding onto the floor.

“I hate the idea of breaking your heart…but I hate the idea of being without you too. If one day you realize you can’t watch me grow old, then promise me we say goodbye as friends.”

“You mean…that –”

“– is a yes.”

Mouths clash cold yet passionate, the fervour growing with each stroke of tongue tips or nibble at the other’s lips and soon Loki’s pushing the straps of your dress aside gently. Every inch of skin is lavished with kisses that make goosebumps break out and you nipples harden against the lace (which is all that remains as cover). Once the soft cotton hangs from your hips, the god’s roaming hands come to rest at your waist. You know what he’s about to do, but it amazes you regardless. It always does. Lifting you to your feet as though you weigh nothing at all and standing you on the bed. Loki’s nose presses against the skin of your belly or, if he stretches a bit, the cleavage where he can inhale your scent while his hands bring the dress the rest of the way down. Probably holding it back rather than letting it fall for the simple purpose of enjoying the slow reveal of your body.

“My love.” Kisses are peppered onto your hips. “My queen.” Hands roam the back of your thighs. “My fiancée.” A long arm reaches up along your back to release the hooks on the bra. “Mine.”

You vaguely hear where the lacy clothing lands, but not really because Loki’s mouth and hands are at your breasts, the Silver Tongue of his working the kind of magic that’s reserved for you only. Moans fill the room as the god slides down your panties to allow access to a hand, fingers skimming through the folds and teasing you in just the right way by adding pressure with the hell of the hand whenever possible.

Even with your fingers entwined with Loki’s black hair, it’s hard to keep balance on the soft bed and you’re grateful by the time he lays you down and positions himself to continue the work between your legs. Languidly. Broad licks supplemented by pressure administered by a thumb to your clit to have you pussy aching and clenching helplessly around nothing. You on the verge of cumming when his lips close around the little bundle of nerves.

“Please, Loki.”

“Hmmmm?” The sound sends vibrations into you, but he detaches before it sets off a climax. “Not yet, my love.”

Fuck! It wouldn’t be smart to say that out loud. The man thrives on teasing to the point that it nearly becomes torture, so you adopt a different tactic and suggest with a purr that he be the one to be treated.

Obviously, he can’t resist to see your lips wrapped around his cock and soon, Loki’s the one to groan and beg for release either in your mouth or deep within the needing cunt. Oh, the delicious revenge is sweet. Now you’re the one to move slowly, crawling up his body and trailing kisses (and bites) along the way until your straddling him with his erection sliding between the slick folds in a manner that stimulates your clit just perfectly. Fingers digging into your thighs, he lies and watches as you succumb to an orgasm, juices dripping onto his balls and the throbbing shaft.

“Please…” he nearly whines as you start to come down.

A nod is all he needs before he’s flipped you both around and sheathed himself fully in you, setting off a new wave of ecstasy which he somehow manages to wait out, still as a statue. But you see his struggle. You see it in his eyes that are turning crimson, and you feel it on his body temperature which is dropping.

“Let me see you,” you whisper hoarsely, “the real you.”

Loki knows how attractive you find the Jotun form and happily complies with your request. Each body part enlarges – some parts more than others, thank goodness, but you still feel the swell of his cock within you, stretching your walls a bit more.

“God, yes!”

Rolling his hips, the partner in crime pulls out almost completely before thrusting back forcefully, making you scoot up the bed until you can reach and stem against on the headboard, and each stroke Loki gives is met by a tilt of your hips. Teeth find the crook of your throat, latching on hard enough that it will bruise tomorrow and softly enough for the pain not to be too much.

… Loki’s PoV …

He sees [Y/N]’s eyelashes flutter as she arches against his blue body. Heat against cold. The walls of her cunt clench and pulsate, sending tremors through her perfect shape and breaking the cry that falls from her lips. And Loki is right at the precipice with the woman, toppling over the edge and into a sea of bliss. It is all he can do to keep himself from collapsing onto [Y/N], rolling off instead to lie panting next to her.

She is still shivering, when the god regains his strength enough to focus his seiðr to care for her before finally pulling the light of his live into his arms.

“I love you,” she smiles drowsily, “all the time.” She doesn’t bother to stifle a yawn,

Her temple is hot against his lips. “I love you too. Always.”

There is no answer save for the gentle breathing.

Always.

Baby be a simple kind of man Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can

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littlejeanniebean · 5 years ago

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peter parker goes to marvel high (normal mcu au)

A/N: Peter’s first day of high school ft. Shuri, Mr. Stark, Mr. Loki, and co. ~1700 words teenaged angst then fluff. More Peter x Shuri in my masterlist :)

Heavily inspired by this post by @spellbounding-slytherin

I’m also a big fan of @tinymintywolf‘s art :))

- J xx

Fact: Peter Parker was a nervous wreck. May, ever the optimist, had patted his cheeks, kicked him out of the car, and told him to have a good day. Peter had never had a good first day of school. He was smart but had a severe attention deficit, so even his teachers never liked him. His one best friend throughout junior high, Ned Leeds, had moved to New Jersey, so he would probably end up eating alone in some empty classroom just to be safe. And he’d met the principal at orientation last Friday. He had an eye patch and a perpetual frown, used to head up the corrections department for youth offenders. So yeah, high school was going to suck big time.

“Move it, dickwad,” one of the larger boys shoved past him at the door to his homeroom.

Peter strategically chose a seat in the ambiguous, unnoticeable middle.

A short, bright-eyed girl marched up to him, “You’re in my seat.”

“Sorry! Sorry!” he tried to pick up his backpack but the strap was caught on the leg of his chair, so he just kind of ended up spilling himself over the floor.

“Crap, I was just messing with you, kid,” she helped him up, “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” he just sort of stood there awkwardly, not meeting her eyes.

“Dude, you gotta stop apologizing. I’m sorry, okay?” she tried to get him to look at her, “I’m Shuri. I have a messed up sense of humour that scares away any friends I might’ve ended up having. Is it cool if I sit next to you?”

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, “I’m Perker Pat - Parker Pete - Peter Parker.”

“Cool.”

“Dude, you are sad,” the boy who shoved him coming into the room twirled an expensive-looking pen, sparing him the most derisive of sideways glances.

Peter was saved from actually having to come up with a response when their teacher walked in two-minutes after the bell and put his feet up on his desk, “Okay, kiddies. My name is Mr. Stark, you may call me Mr. Stark. I am your homeroom teacher unless you’re in the wrong room. I also teach AP Math and Computer Science. If you have questions at this point, I honestly wonder how you got this far in life, but I’m obligated to ask.”

The room was silent.

“Great, do whatever until the bell rings, I guess.”

The class emptied out.

Peter hung back, “M-Mr. Stark?”

“Yes, Proton.”

“I-it’s Peter, actually.”

“I was talking about your t-shirt.”

“I - Oh, yeah,” he looked down at the “I’m positive” joke print, “um… I just wanted to let you know that I have ADHD, mostly the AD part a-and I don’t expect any special treatment or anything and I’ll work really hard, but I also wanted to join Mathletes and I wasn’t allowed in junior high because I’d always get sidetracked at the meets but I think I can do better now if you’ll give me the chance… butifnotthat’sokay.”

Mr. Stark appraised him, “First meeting is in this room at three.”

“Thank you, sir!” he smiled, but when his teacher didn’t smile back, he fixed his face and walked to his next period.

“I’m Mr. Banner, and there are three things you need to remember if you want to succeed in biochemistry. One: If you’re unsure but proceed without asking for clarification first, I will be angry. Two: If you show up to the lab without completing the prior work assigned, I will be angry. Three: If you do not share work between your lab partners equally, I will be angry. Don’t make me angry.”

“Wanna be lab partners?” Shuri asked.

“Sure,” Peter squeaked and cleared his throat.

“You’re not going to break a test tube on me, are you?”

He shook his head quickly.

“You’re a lot of work, Peter Parker, but it’s kind of adorable.”

“Um… thanks?”

“You’re welcome. Now hand me that pipette and fire up the spectrophotometer.”

The last period before lunch was P.E.

“I’m Coach Barton, that’s all you need to know. Let’s do a few warm up laps around the circuit.”

Peter ran hard and was close to fainting as he crossed the line in the middle of the pack.

“Woah, kid, you need to go to the nurse’s?” Coach singled him out.

He tried to say ‘no’ but no sound would come out, so he just shook his head, gasping. He could hear the other boys snickering beyond the pounding of his blood in his brain.

“I think you need to go to the nurse’s,” Coach beckoned to the boy who’d crossed the line first, “Flash, take him to the clinic, would ya?”

“Yes, sir,” the bully from his homeroom smirked at him.

As soon as they were out of the gym, he jostled and picked at the smaller boy only to exhibit the epitome of sympathy in front of Nurse Man-Ti.

“Here, drink some electrolytes,” she told him and he finished the small bottle in under a minute.

As soon as Flash was gone, Peter let himself just cry. He wished his aunt would just homeschool him, but it’s been hard since his uncle died and in the face of that, Peter felt bad for feeling bad about his little problems and that made him cry some more.

“Hey,” the nurse sat beside him quietly, “Peter, right?”

He nodded, “I’m sorry.”

“What for? Better out than in, that’s what I always say.”

Peter sniffed.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or make an appointment with Counsellor Barnes?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I just needed, uh… electrolytes,” he leaves quickly after that.

Peter goes to his locker for his bag and clothes, red eyes trained on the floor so that hopefully nobody notices. He doesn’t notice Shuri arguing with Flash, gesturing forcefully back at his locker. Flash sees him put in his combination and open the door, a cheshire grin spreading across his face.

“Peter!” Shuri tries to warn him, “Don’t -”

But it’s too late and he’s covered in silly string, a few old socks found decomposing in the gym lockers, and the contents of a bathroom trash can.

“I’m gonna go change,” he whispers to no one in particular.

“I’ll save you a place at lunch?” Shuri called after him.

Peter stops in his tracks to shoot her a grateful smile, “Thank you.”

Mr. Thor Odinson was a very loud history teacher, but it worked well for keeping Peter’s attention throughout the class, so he was able to answer all the review questions.

“Teacher’s pet,” Flash scoffed at the sound of the bell.

“Dumbass,” Shuri fake-coughed and pulled Peter to the auditorium.

“I’m Mr. Loki Odinson, you may call me Mr. Loki to distinguish between myself and my hard-of-hearing brother, Thor,” said their quieter drama teacher, “Thompson, if you kick Parker’s chair one more time, I will send you to Fury’s office with no note, no explanation. And he has a very specific way of dealing with those cases.”

Flash stopped and sat straighter.

“Good, Parker, you seem suitably nervous. Come up here and help me demonstrate a quick improvisation exercise.”

Peter tripped on his way down the aisle to the stage, but kept going.

“Now, you’re a superhero and I’m a supervillain. You’re trying to turn me over to the good side, but we can only converse alphabetically. So you must start with the letter ‘A’, I must start with the letter ‘B’ and so forth. Are you ready?”

“No.”

“Ah, ah, first rule of improv: the answer is always, ‘Yes, and…’ Let’s go, Parker. You’re brave. You’re bold. You’re a hero.”

“Alright, Mr. Villain, you have two choices,” Peter surprised himself at how his voice carried. It must be the way the auditorium was built, “perish, or join our fight.”

“Blech, I choose to perish,” Mr. Loki dropped to his knees, “C’mon Hero, end me if you have the guts at all.”

“Come on, you know you never wanted to watch the city burn to begin with. The hive possessed you, used you. Now, you have the chance to redeem yourself.”

“Don’t presume to know me because you can’t possibly. You don’t know what I’ve been through. What I’ve lost!”

“Everything,” Peter said quietly, “Everyone you ever cared for. I do know… because so have I. We’re not so different.”

“Fighting the hive is a losing proposition. You have nothing that could work against them!”

“Gas. Even a million eyes are no good in a fog.”

“Huh… I never thought of that. I’ll join your fight, Hero if you’ll let me,” Mr. Loki proffered his “bound” wrists.

“I knew there was some good left in you, Mr. Villain,” Peter “unlocked” the “restraints.”

Mr. Loki mimed holding a knife to Peter’s neck, “Just not that much, I’m afraid. Hive Mother! I’ve got him! I’ve got the hero! Now release my family from the void as you promised!”

Peter wracked his brain from the next letter. The plot twist didn’t help him think either. “... Krap with a ‘k’?”

Mr. Loki broke character and laughed before clapping and shaking his student’s hand, “That was the most interesting improv demonstration I’ve had in awhile, Parker. You’re a natural. Now everyone pair off and try to top that performance if you can!”

English with Mr. Rogers was the last period of the day. He didn’t look up from his book until everyone was seated, silent, and had their eyes up front. It took a crazy long time and a good deal of organization and yelling on Shuri’s part.

“Sorry, guys, I was reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!” he joked.

Peter was the only one who laughed.

After giving a bit of a lecture on respect for their instructors, valuing their education, and how much they were going to love English this year, he let them go early.

“Okay, I’m calling you three Alvin, Simon, and Theodore from now on,” Mr. Stark addressed his small Mathlete gathering, “Our new mascot is a chipmunk, I don’t care that all our other teams are Rocket Raccoons.”

“Which one of us is Alvin?” Shuri asked.

“Since you asked, you are. Fancy-Pen is Simon and Proton is Theodore. Now, we have a competition to prepare for in… ages from now, so… drill, I guess? I don’t know. Who wants to do Euclidean algorithms?”

Three hands went up.

“Nice,” he brought out his expensive Japanese chalk, a gift from his wife, the well-known Fortune 500 CEO, Pepper Potts.

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biavastarr · 6 years ago

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Co-Parents (Chapter One)

Pairing: steve rogers x you (fem!reader)

Warnings: language, mentions of adult activities, mentions of (robot) child endangerment

Word Count: 1,386ish

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the media or characters mentioned in this story.

Author’s Notes: there is no structure or plan or anything yet, but I’ve always loved those shows where they get stuck with a robot baby and for some dumb reason I decided it’d be a good fic. this is definitely going to be messy as it’s my first series but I’ll do my best,, unfortunately with my crazy schedule it’ll be a couple weeks before I update again? the reader in this will be bi, but if you’re not, don’t worry, I think it’ll be easy to skim over. I also do not know anything about developmental biology so please excuse me being dumb.

I don’t really know what’s going on with this whole “co-” theme with my titles, but that’s not going to be a recurring thing. probably. ignore the cheesiness of the summary, I’m gagging.

Summary: College!AU: You, a Pre-Med student with commitment issues, and Steve Rogers, your reckless best friend, are paired together for a project that requires you to co-parent a high-maintenance robot baby. Will your grades - or your hearts - survive this assignment?

“Dr. Fury, how is a robot baby going to accurately assess our understanding of child development? With all due respect, it’s kind of an outlandish assignment. Also, largely centered on a very specific topic, y’know? This is so focused on just humans, for such a small part of their lives. Wouldn’t it be better if we did, I don’t know, one of those things where we raise butterflies in a tent, or baby chicks in an incubator, or, like, tadpoles, I guess, in a tank?” Lilting your voice up in question at the end, you paused to try and think of more examples.

You were babbling, you knew, it was embarrassing, but your sense of self-preservation had just allocated all of its resources into trying to talk your Developmental Biology professor out of this absurd assignment that he had just announced, absolutely spoiling what had been an otherwise pleasant fourth week of your junior year.

Natasha leaned back in her seat with a small quirk of her red lips. “You’re only fighting this so hard because you’ve got commitment issues, kroshka. God forbid you have to put up with something for more than a week.”

“Is this really the time to be psychoanalyzing me in front of the whole class?” You glared at her petulantly, trying to ignore Clint’s snickers beside her.

Dr. Fury cleared his throat loudly, his one eye narrowing at you as he spoke. “This is to emphasize the significance of care within the first three months of birth. It will help flesh out your understanding of human biological development as well as the role of nurturing within any species’s growth. Choose your partners wisely; I reserve the right to break up any group I think will be a bad fit. And, as it is the largest project of this semester, it will count towards 30% of your final grade.”

You gaped helplessly, your pen falling from your hand with a soft thump. “Oh my god. I’m gonna die.”

Wanda rolled her eyes from the seat on your other side, nudging you with her elbow good-naturedly. “Maybe this pseudo-kiddo will teach you some responsibility, sestra.”

You straightened your posture, reaching over to play with a lock of her long brown hair. “Heeeeey, Wanda,” you started innocently, “as my super nice and helpful roommate that would make this entire project convenient and fun, do you want to be my partner?”

Wanda faltered slightly. “Oh, I would, I really would, but when you were trying to talk Dr. Fury out of it, I sorta, um, asked Vision?” She looked at you sadly, and you hid your disappointment because no way were you going to let your fear of this assignment ruin a good thing for her.

“Wanda, I would never fault you for that, my god, are you finally going to ask him out?”

She grinned sheepishly. “Maybe? I kind of want to see how this goes. I bet he’d be so cute with a little baby, though!” You shook your head, smiling, not really seeing how just the thought of her crush with a kid could make her swoon, but let her have her moment. You scanned the rows of the small lecture hall, trying to scope out a potential partner.

Glancing to your side, you weren’t surprised to see Natasha and Clint writing their names down on a paper they’d torn out of your notebook, which, hey, but whatever. Maria Rambeau and Carol Danvers were laughing together and talking to Fury, they’re for sure out, shoot; Brunnhilde? Nope, Thor was sitting down next to her with hearts in his eyes, damn. Pepper Potts? God, I wish, but she was sitting next to Rhodey, another catch. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner were writing their names down on a paper together already, too, and Sam groaned loudly, catching your attention as he and Bucky moved to grab a sheet. Shit, you thought, trying to find an odd one out. Scott? No, he’s making his way over to Hope. Loki? No, I’m not even going near that. Is it weird if I ask the TA, you wondered, glancing over at Maria Hill, who was sitting ramrod straight as she graded papers next to Fury.

“Oh my god, please tell me you don’t have a partner!” You twisted your head back to see one very relieved looking Steve Rogers drop into the seat behind you, leaning his whole body over to flash his signature puppy eyes at you.

“Steve,” you started with a small smile, "you know that I love you, and you’re an absolute sweetheart, but you also know that we would be the most chaotic combination in this room and our robot child might not survive the night.” He pouted at this assessment, melting your heart just a little, but you fixed him with a stern glare. You weren’t lying; while you were both at the top of your class, the two of you were notorious for breaking rules (well, Steve was, at the very least, though he considered it more a disputement of personal interpretation), partying (at least you were, but hey, you were young, pretty, and conscious of safe sex practices), and being, overall, irresponsible messes.

“I can be responsible! I bought a helmet for my motorcycle just last week!”

“Steve, you’ve had that bike for a year. The “just” doesn’t really help you.” He moved to protest, but you stared at him again disappointedly. “When was the last time you got into a fight?”

He flushed a bright red, knowing you’ve caught him. “It wasn’t really a fight, more like an uncivilized disagreement, and 'sides, the guy was bein’ a real jerk to a lady!” His Brooklyn accent thickened a bit at the end, and you looked away so he couldn’t see the darker color of your cheeks.

“Steve, I think we both know that we’re a disastrous combination, and besides, do you really want a baby momma who’s working all weekend? I can’t change my schedule and the kid will either be stuck with you or one of our roommates.”

Steve leaned in closer, his head hanging above yours, lips drawing up in a cute smile. “Babe, I am more than happy to be a stay-at-home dad, so long as you’ll have me.”

You breathed in deeply, nodding through your exhale. “This is so not going to get approved.”

Fury swept over to your aisle, his trench coat swaying behind him. Stamping the paper that listed them as a pair, he nodded shortly at Clint and Natasha, who high-fived smugly after he passed. He paused momentarily at the next desk, Sam and Bucky sending him their most charming smiles, and, after a moment of silent deliberation, he rolled his eye and stamped their paper in approval. You swallowed dryly.

He came to an abrupt stop at your desk, where Steve was sitting up with a hopeful grin. You smiled weakly, and Fury narrowed his gaze in suspicion. “You and Rogers?”

“Yep,” you squeaked out. “Me and Rogers.”

“This robot baby isn’t going to die, are they?”

“We’ll try our best, sir,” Steve piped in.

“You are aware that, for all your brains, both of you are completely reckless and irresponsible dumbasses?”

“That is correct, sir.”

“Am I going to regret stamping this paper?”

“No, sir.”

He drew in a heavy breath, and you sent Steve a nervous glance. I told you so, you mouthed at him. We are literally the worst pair.

Steve shook his head, mouthing nah at you as he flung an arm behind your chair. You tried to stifle the dramatic roll of your eyes at his nonchalance. Oh god, you thought. I’m going to get stuck with fucking Loki, and he’s going to, like, stab the robot because he needs an outlet now that Brunnhilde doesn’t let him stab Thor now, and I’m going to fail this class because my robot baby got shanked, and-

“Alright. Rogers, you’re a father now. Don’t get into any more back-alley fights. I suppose street fights are still game.” You blinked yourself out of your panic-spiral.

“What?”

“Congrats, you two, you’re parents. Ta-da,” Fury deadpanned as he stamped the slip of paper, moving on to the next group. Steve chuckled deeply, squeezing your shoulder as you sat, still frozen in shock.

“Hey, babe, look at us, growin’ up so fast.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out nervously, staring at Steve as he grabbed a pen out his backpack. “Yeah.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #my writing #mw: co-parents #captain america x reader #captain america x you

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profoundtyrantharmony · 3 years ago

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Title : That's How I Feel

Warning : None. Italics means flashback. Y/f/c => your favorite color. Y/f/sc => your favorite summer clothe.

Words : around 2260

Pairing : Loki x Black!Chubby!Female!Reader

Requested by @rootbeergoddess "Can you write a story where a chubby, brown skinned reader is dating Loki and Loki decides to spoil her one day by taking her to the mall and buying her everything she wants?"

Masterlist // Request

My name is y/f/n y/l/n, I'm a young adult living in 21th century. You wonder why I would say that ? Simple. I'm a woman, black and chubby, and apparently in this era this is a huge problem. I didn't do anything wrong, I mean yeah I love good food and I'm not overly fond of any kind of sport but is this really enough of a reason to basically bully me everyday. Let me answer this basic question : HELL NO !!! I'm pissed of all this bad comments about my appearance, what I should do to lose weight, to eat healthier... I can't stand the fact that we are being judge (yes because of course I'm far from being the only one) based on our looks rather than our sharpe mind. I know my worth, and I am far more worthy than all of these piece of...garbage...those wanabe decent human. Right now I seem like I am incredibly confident but I'm not. I'm alone in my room talking to myself in my head because I am not capable of doing it in front of my bullies !! You wanna know what happened for me to be alone instead of happilly working ? Let me tell you a story...

I live in a cute two bedrooms appartment not far from the Avengers quarter (I'd say 20 minutes on foot). It's a charming place, the neighbors are the nicest and most of all not judgmental. I live alone but sometimes my boyfriend come to spend the night at my house, those are the best night that could happen. But today I woke up alone in my king size bed, unfortunatelly for me he had an important meeting early this morning so he had to go early. His name is Loki of Asgard heir to the crown of Jotunheim, adoptive son of Odin, brother of Thor and most importantly the Holder of my heart. It's been 4-5 months that we are actually together but we've known each other for about one year. We met at the Avengers compound where I worked as an assistant for Pepper Potts before I became the analyst that I am today, but that's a story for another time. As I was saying I woke up alone this morning, it was 8:30 am. I'm not due to work until 10:00 am. I decided to take my breakfast while mentally visualise what I will do to work, whilst thinking about how to avoid my mescreants of co-workers (you read it right co-workers not collegues, I'm not appreciate enough to call them that, I only consider Bonnie a collegue, she's the closest thing I have to a friend at work. ). Once my coffe and my toasts spread with honey were eaten I went to to the bathroom to prepare myself. The most difficult part for me is to chose what I am going to wear if I don't want any comments. The purpose is to clearly become invisible, like a shadow lurking in the corner of the room. I don't want to wear a cute dress, a fluffy skirt or a top with some lacework on it cause i will 100% receive insults, mockery, and I just don't have the strengh anymore, it already happened before it will happened again I can't do anything to stop it. I already try when I was younger and guess what "it's just words don't listen to them", thanks a lot I feel better now ! I finally decided on a simple dark tight blue jeans and a white shirt with an afro motif on it (just like me). I put some liner and mascara and I was ready to face my personal hell. I went to work on foot, it was sunny with a bit of fresh wind, perfect for 20 minutes of walk. I arrived at exactly 9:50 am, and went to my desk to begin with my daily task. It took time and mental energy cause i'm a bit perfectionnist. My boss knows of that fact and are still satisfied with me because my work is ALWAYS perfect and NEVER need rework, the fact that I won the award of the best employee last year and this year too is something that didn't escape me. That's why I went to the communal area to get some tea and a chocolate and pistachio cookie, I really needed it. Just before I arrived I heard my name being said, and clearly not in a friendly way. I stayed hidden in the corridor to listen to what was being said. I recognised the voice of five persons (three men and two women, all agents of shield), they were talking about how fat I am, how ugly I am, how my clothes are too tight and not meant for me. But if it was only about my body it would be just like usual, nothing to worry about, but they were talking about my personnality (low confidence, shy, discret) and about Loki, and that, I couldn't stand it ! How dare they insult him after all he has done for humanity, for shield, for them, only to be treated as a lesser man, it's absolutelly despicable. Understanding that whatever I could do I will never be enough for them made me sad and angry at myself. I didn't wanna eat anymore and decided to quit work for the day (don't worry I informed Pepper) and get back home and stay alone in my bedroom, laying on my dark green new bedsheets.

I stay alone like this for quite some time until I hear the familiar voice of my tender one.

"I came as fast as I could, Pepper warned me you left work early what happened ?" He seems so worried, I don't want him to see me as a weak little human even if I know that he doesn't see me like that at all.

"Don't worry it's nothing. Lets talk about something else, how was the meeting ?" He was looking at me as if he could read me, maybe he can, he is too cute, look at his face, his eyes, his...sad smile ? What happen to him ? "Why the sad face Loki ?"

"I'm not sad, I know what you're going through on a personnal level trust me, plus there is no such thing as secrecy when you work with and for the Avengers and shield. I know what those pathetic little things called humans have said about you, your collegue Bonnie was close to the area when she heard them, she called them on their bullshit (has been insulted short after) and came to Pepper who then came to me right after." He come to sit beside me, his face coming closer to mine, his hands taking my face in his, our forehead touches, our eyes getting close, we breath each other's in, it was so calm and tender. "The things you make me feel princess, I don't think you understand the power you have over me that's insane !" His smile when he said this makes my tears almost came free. We kissed each other slowly with a lot of passion until we stop to breath.

"I just don't understand why they are so mean with me, yes I'm black but I can't change that, yes I'm chubby but i'm don't have cardiac problems, cholesterol issues or diabete, I walk everyday to go to work, I'm as healthy as I can be and those buffons can go to hell because I'm so freaking smart that they can't understand how wonderful I am !!"

"You have a lot of confidence in you princess so why don't you use it at work ?"

"You mean why I do not take the lead ? You mean taking the lead the same way I take it last time we were together in bed ?" I was trying so hard to change the topic of conversation but that was vain.

"Hmm you're being a naughty girl don't play this game right now I'm being serious."

"You're no fun !! Well, when I'm with you I feel respected, love. I trust you the way i never have thought I could. You never judge me and you make me feel whole, you're the first person I see myself with for the long term, you're the one for me and I hope you will love me for the rest of our time." Tears were flowing from his eyes, he takes me in his arms and kisses me for all his worth. The moans that come out of my mouth was like a fuel to him, he could never stop loving me. "Come with me princess, we're going shopping !"

"Why did we came here Loki ?" I asked him.

"I have some items to purchase Princess." He says with with a smile that could bright the entire universe.

"How many items do you have to purchase?" He smirked at me, and calmly told me :

"A healthy amount".

We entered the mall, I didn't know what to look for, it's been so many time i didn't come here, work kept me grounded in a way. I always asked one of my neighbors to do my shopping in exchange of some petsitting (when hollidays comes, familly week-end...it's better than abandonment if you ask me). There were so many things I'd like to buy but I didn't do it. Loki was leading to the litterature corner of the mall, I remembered that my favorite author just published a book days ago but didn't purchase it. Without a word, he took the book and paid for it, I know he loves reading maybe he is a y/f/a's fan. We looked at each other, smiling.

"Where do you want to go now ?

"I heard about the new summer collection, I'd like to go and check it out of that's okay with you princess." How could I ever refuse this face. He took my hand in his and lead me to the summer clothes sections. There were to many wonderful skirts, dresses I couldn'tstop looking at them...but would I ever be worthy of wearing them...

"Princess what do you think about this gorgeous y/f/c y/f/sc ? I think it will compliment your figure and make your pop more."

"Why would you wanna buy it ? That's not exactly what you would wear my sweet."

"It's not for me" he said laughing, "That's for you !"

"...But why ?" I was shocked.

"Why would I want to spoiled the best thing that ever happened to me you mean ? Because I can and most importantly I want to do it. I want you to see yourself as I see you. I want you to feel self confident enough to allowed yourself to wear whatever you want without feeling self concious. And above all I want to please you as the Princess tou deserve. So I'm asking you, will you let me buy you books, clothes, make up, knits..."

"How do you know about the knits ?" I asked interumpting him.

"It doesn't matter, I know that you knit some tiny socks and caps for orphans babies, that you don't tell to anyone cause you don't brag about the good thing you do because that's not who you are and I love you all the more for it. You take so much care about people you don't even know but never about you. I'm here to change it I'm here to take care of you the way you won't do."

"Loki...I..I..Thanks you". I was crying my soul out. It wasn't from sadness but from hapiness, i couldn't describe the amount of love I felt for him this right moment. We hugged each other, the time stopped around us and we were floating like two leaves dancing with the wind.

"Lets go eat something, I saw a french backery at the other end of the mall."

"Good idea, I didn't eat since breakfast so I'm a little bit starving." I happilly answered.

"There is a lot of choices princess, croissant, paint au chocolat, chicolate chips cookie...a millefeuille..." he was undecided.

"Why not take the four and split, this way de could taste and eat a bit of everything." I told him, secretly hopping he'd say yes, cause, lets be honnest here, french food was literally my péché mignon (*cute sin/guilty pleasure*). He was more than happy with this idea, and more than happy to share his food with me. We talked a lot, purchase many other items, especially a bouquet of several flowers ( bouton d'or for joy ; white camellias for the eternal love ; fuchsias for unbreakable love ; gardenias for honesty ; lavender for respect and tenderness, last flowers but not the least the white roses for pure love). I was so overwelmed with joy that I couldn't contain my tears.

"What did I do to deserve all this Loki ?" I asked crying.

"There is no reason really..." he looked me in the eyes and I saw all the love pouring into them as he continued "...that's how I feel."

*This is the end of my first fic, hope you liked it, remember, english is not my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes.*

*If you want to request check out here*

*Likes, Comments and Reblogs are also appreciated*

#loki x reader #black reader x loki #black reader #chubby reader #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #fluff #oc character #reader insert #loki x fem!reader

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alkja · 6 years ago

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Well, here we come: Endgame review (spoilers galore)

Endgame is essentially two different movies for me: the one up until the last three minutes and the one that includes those last three minutes.

The first is a decent movie – riddled with stupid crap, plot holes and the occasional nonsense, but on the whole acceptable.

The second is a waterfall of crap that makes me seethe in anger.

If you liked that ending, I seriously discourage you from keeping on reading. Otherwise, let us discuss the good, the bad, the wtf and the “How dare you?”

THE “DID YOU EVEN TRY THINKING ABOUT THIS” DIVISION

Let’s start with the inevitable: time shenanigans equal inevitable fuckery. That is known.

The most egregious example being: Nebula kills her younger self and is apparently fine and dandy. What the shit? I don’t care if you killed her in 2023 (or whenever Endgame happens, I’m going with Infinity War happening in 2018 as released), if Nebula 2014 dies there is no Nebula 2015 and so on to eventually become Nebula 2023. Ergo, she should absolutely have died. Same with Thanos & Co. No matter where you do it, if you kill a past version of someone, there is no one to do the things they would have done in the future. Thanos 2014 dies, so there cannot be a Thanos from after that to do the Snap.

Which is not bad, go ahead and kill past versions of evil shits, but doing so changes the timeline. Period. Rodhey even proposed that and they had a long nerd out about why that would not be possible... and then they went and did that and pretended it didn’t count. That is so goddamn stupid.

Same with all the time travel.

I don’t care if you go and put the Infinity Stones back, because those stupid McGuffins are not the only thing that can mess the timeline. First of all, there is no one to use them anyway since Thanos died before he did the Snap, but we’re supposed to ignore that.

More to the point, in order to put the timeline to right, you have to put the Stones back after the future Avengers have stolen them. Fine, that puts them back in the timeline. However, that doesn’t erase the actions your slightly-past selves have taken trying to grab them. Which means, for example, that Loki fucking escaped with the Tesseract after Avengers 1, which is a MAJOR change.

Or, it should be. But apparently we’re supposed to ignore that because in the Dark World time Loki is in his cell, and wow. NO. If he escapes in Avengers 1 (with the Tesseract to boot), that leads to massive changes in Dark World and Ragnarok. For one thing, without the Tesseract, the Bifrost cannot be repaired. More essential to those plots, Loki should plainly not be there.

Putting the sceptre back also doesn’t erase the fact that Captain America said “Heil Hydra” to a Hydra agent (oh oh oh, such canny comic references!), who apparently never mentioned it again to anyone ever? Not even to his goddamn boss? So, did Sitwell legitimately think Steve was Hydra up until Winter Soldier? And yet come Winter Soldier he never thought to ask Steve “Wait, even if you’re not actually Hydra, you clearly knew about us for years, so why are you now so outraged like this is brand new information for you? Why did it take you this long to move against us and why are you doing it without much in the way of planning or allies? The hell did you do these past years?”

Hell, why did Sitwell – a prominent Hydra agent in SHIELD who would not raise any flags doing so – never approach Steve, Hydra agent to Hydra agent? No, he discovers that Captain America is apparently Hydra and just rolls with it. No “What the hell, sir?” call to Pierce, no secret handshake to Steve. For years. I can handwave him not saying anything to Rumlow and the rest of Strike, because if Steve is Hydra maintaining his deep cover with everyone is more important than anything (even if they were right there when he gave him the scepter, so what did he say to them?), but not mentioning it to Pierce? Cannot buy that. And not having any mention of that in Winter Soldier is pretty damn unbelievable.

The timeline was also changed by having future!Steve fight past!Steve. And no, it doesn’t matter that past!Steve thought it was Loki. It was still a change.

Not to mention, Loki could not have had a Peggy compass or known shit about Bucky, so it stands to reason it’s not Loki. So, what gives? What did past!Steve think it happened? Hell, come Winter Soldier what did he think about that time some guy who looked and fought like himself told him that Bucky was alive and lo and behold, here comes Buckaroo?

In essence, the Avengers fucked the timeline without lube but we’re supposed to pretend they didn’t.

To me, that is shit.

Mess with time all you like, but acknowledge you’re doing so. Either your plan goes off without a hitch (as if!), or the moment where everything goes inevitably to hell and there are changes - and here we are talking about major changes - you say fuck it, pull out all the stops and change away.

[Ok, I admit it, by that I mostly mean: pull out all the stops, take 5 minutes to explain to your past self you come from the future and tell him to get his ass in gear because Hydra is literally running the government and SHIELD and most importantly Bucky has been frozen, tortured and brainwashed for about 70 years, so get to it, save Bucky Bear save the world, and smash Nazis like the fucking Hulk. May the fic gods, as ever, be kinder to me than the canon ones.]

This “pretend nothing has changed even while we change important stuff that should logically have repercussions” approach only works if you think your audience has the reasoning capabilities of concussed goldfishes. Tony’s last bout of genius solving time travel on the fly deserved better than this.

(Also, good luck trying to sell me on any future conflict stakes when our heroes now have the capabilities of fucking going back in time and change things, even if you don’t want to admit it.)

In the “this is so dumb and nonsensical and wow look at those strings” camp, we also have the two Nebulas being connected. That is so stupid and clearly only there for the sake of plot you can literally see the writers going “Uhm... how can we make it so past!Thanos knows what the heroes are doing? What if we make it so past!Nebula gets the memories of future!Nebula from a galaxy away? How? Why? Because!”

Riveting.

About as riveting as the Thor stuff. Here you can see the writers desperately wracking their brain wondering “But how are we gonna have dumb jokes in a serious movies? Where will we go for cheap, juvenile humor? I know! Let’s make Thor a drunk idiot with a beer belly! Oh oh oh, what could be more funny than a parade of fat jokes, we’re comedic geniuses!”

Yawn. Also, offensive much? But really, everything about Thor spits in the face of his three movies long character arc (which was all about responsibility): dudes, do you even know the characters you’re writing about?

Speaking of desperation: no Steve and Bucky reunion post UnSnapping? Seriously? We have Tony and Peter - who have known each other for 5 minutes - tearfully embrace but no scene between two characters who have known each other all their lives and have been through massive shit in those lives? Marvel execs, we know that every time Steve and Bucky shared a scene The Dreadful Spectre of The GAY appeared and made your blood pressure rise but this is ridiculous.

Which is also why you get no cookie for The First Gay Character in the franchise: an unnamed character in a single blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene, truly stellar representation. What made you believe this was a smart move?

That said, there are some good things in this movie.

THE “I DIDN’T NECESSARILY WANT THIS BUT I CAN ACCEPT YOU DID IT. ALSO, OUCH: MY HEART” DIVISION

First of all, Tony Stark.

Never thought I’d say that, because I’m the furthest thing from a Tony fan and spent all of Ultron and Civil War wanting to punch him. And Infinity War being indifferent to him.

But goddamn if I didn’t feel how goddamn much he adored Pepper and their daughter. Goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his heroic sacrifice, going out with the line that started it all (“I am Iron Man”- my heart), goddamn if I didn’t tear up at his goodbye with Pepper and then at his funeral.

For all his many, many faults – which I’m not gonna forget for a second – Tony went out exactly as he should be: a goddamn hero. With a heart big enough, strong enough to give himself up for everyone else even at the moment where he had everything he ever wished to have.

My hat’s off to him.

Never thought I’d ever say this, but I will miss him.

Other MVPs of Endgame: Clint Motherfucking Barton and Natasha “Love is NOT for Children” Romanoff. I know: Natasha, sure, but who would ever have guessed that about Clint? Prior to Endgame, he was just sort of there, not helped by Ultron and his sudden family in a farm.

Endgame managed to make me care about the family I loathed. How? I don’t know, but I am totally down for a Clint + Kate Bishop + Lila show, where everyone is a badass archer and they are all codenamed Hawkeye just because! I am also totally down for Clint’s badass reinvention (after, I’m guessing, mainlining all 7 seasons of Arrow), no matter how heartbreaking the reason or questionable the style choices.

And that Clintasha scene was pretty much worth the whole movie to me.

Because, first of all, that’s how you solve a problem like the Soul Stone: a willing sacrifice. (Which, btw, makes even more disgusting the fact that we are supposed to see this as equally worthy to Thanos murdering his daughter).

Second, because I am a total sucker for characters fighting about who gets to sacrifice themselves. Clint and Natasha beating the crap out of each other just like in Avengers 1 (just one of many delightful callbacks that pepper the movie), this time because they love each other too much to let the other be the one to die is everything.

Third, because it’s just a really good scene, based on one of the better relationships in the MCU. Even those not shipping Clintasha have no doubt that those two are extremely important to one another, and Renner and Johannson acted the hell out of it - just as they did every scene together, from their reunion post-yakuza slaughter, to the giddiness of flying a spaceship. I teared up like a baby at Nat’s sacrifice and I was right there with Clint hoping for a loophole that made it so we could get Nat back and was heartbroken anew when that did not come to pass.

But, again, the Black Widow went out just like she should have: a true hero, loving, strong and unafraid. The red in her ledger was wiped out once and for all.

The “Feels” subdivision

Scott Lang was an integral part of the solution. I mean, never before have we heard about time passing differently in the quantum realm – and in fact Janet Van Dyne aged the 30 years she spent in it, so more plot service crap – but who cares! Still, his desperate checking to see if his daughter was among the Snapped only to find his own name and running like hell to get to Cassie only to be suddenly confronted with a teenager and realizing he missed those 5 years with her and not caring because she was still there was absolutely perfect.

Speaking of families: I have already said it but Tony and Pepper and little Morgan were amazing.

Also, Thor and Frigga! Frigga was an egregious fridging to start with, so it was lovely seeing her again, but especially giving her a wonderful scene with her son that shows her intelligence and strength and exactly why she was Queen of Asgard. Not to mention being the one to restore Thor’s confidence and absolving him of his failures. Sometimes you just really, really need your mom. (Too bad about that stupid salad joke.)

Natasha and Steve. Just... Natasha and Steve being badly messed up by those 5 years post-Snap and yet being so supportive and understanding of each other. Really, after Winter Soldier, this was the best Natasha movie. And rightly so.

In general, the Avengers being not just a team but also friends, fucking finally. Sure, there is the whole “found family-baited” post going around, but memes aside, it is true that we never got to see those people acting like friends and not merely co-workers. Was that so difficult to do before the very last moment?

THE “IN HERE FOR THE HOLY SHIT QUOTIENT” DIVISION

A small but admirable moment for a villain that was otherwise pretty underwhelming no matter how much they tried passing him off as deep: Thanos having the smarts and the metaphorical stones to goddamn destroy the Infinity Stones. Better to accept never using them himself again than run the risk of someone stealing them and undo his work. He may be evil and incapable of properly understanding the concept of proportions (that whole: if you destroy half of the resources along with half of the people using said resources, you are just as screwed as before), but the guy is smart.

Carol was as amazing as she could be in a movie that by design could not be about her kicking Thanos’s ass up and down the whole galaxy but was necessarily the Last Hooray of the Old Guard. Her face seeing Fury among the Snapped, her entrance and towing a fucking spaceship, her pointing out that while the Avengers have been watching (with mixed results) over a single planet she was watching over a lot of them (likely with better results), her second entrance, her goddamn everything. Not as good as her solo movie but what could ever be?

Speaking of ladies, Valkyrie becoming a Literal Queen warms my heart. I have some doubts about Thor just up and leaving what remains of his people, even after everything (read: I don’t buy it, just like I don’t buy anything about Thor in this movie), but considering Heimdall is not around anymore, we can all agree he left them in excellent, badass hands. I want more.

Switching to metaphorical Valkyries... It was a fanservice-y, mostly unearned scene in a series that has historically been pretty low in female friendships or relationships, but goddamn if the optics of all the badass ladies of the MCU banding together weren’t made of FUCKYEAH! Give us a ladies-led movie, Marvel, you fucking cowards: DC is giving us the Birds of Prey (and Harley Quinn), what’s your excuse?

In that vein: Pepper donning an Iron Man armor! Basically everything I ever hoped for, so much so that for a moment I legitimately thought I had imagined it. Now that Tony is gone, let Pepper step up as Rescue or Iron Maiden or whatever, get her to mentor a bright intern named Riri Williams and we’re set to go for maximum awesomeness.

Still, when talking about maximum awesomeness: CAP. WIELDING. MJOLNIR. We Italians don’t have the habit of reacting to movies out loud at the theatre, but you could hear the current of FUCKYEAH!!! coming from all the nerds in the room, and rightly so. Cap fighting with the shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other was everything every superhero fan could ever have wished for in a movie distilled into the Crowning Moment of Awesome to top all CMOAs. (Too bad this gets incredibly undermined by that ending beacuse I refuse to believe that that guy could be worthy of a fucking shoehorn, much less Mjolnir.)

Thor dual-wielding Mjolnir and Stormbreaker deserves a mention too.

(This as long as we forget Mjolnir being taken away to the future at the start of Dark World makes gaping holes in Ultron e Ragnarok, because past!Thor wouldn’t have it anymore, but whatever LALALALALA what time logic?)

But the moment that threatened to bring down the house in cheers was the sight of all the Unsnapped returning followed by - finally - the call: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! Every single person visibly restrained themselves from punching the air and shouting along. I think we all regret not doing so, dignity be damned.

So, leaving aside the truck-sized plot holes that are practically a given once you decide to muck around with time travel and the occasional plot-over-character-or-sense stupidity, all in all we have a rather solid movie full of badass moments and with occasionally meaningful emotional beats.

Not my favorite by a long shot, but a mostly fitting end to an insane project no one ever thought could possibly be achieved that ended up sweeping the world and fandom.

Too bad those last five minutes arrive to shit all over that, and incidentally all over a beloved character.

THE “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU GODDAMNED HACKS” DIVISION

Steve – I must suppose SERIOUSLY concussed during the battle to the point of brain damage beyond the repairing capabilities of the superserum – returns the Infinity Stones to the past and, while he’s at it, decides to abscond in the same past to live his life with Peggy, only returning as an old man to pass the shield to Sam.

Awwwwwwwwww... Steve and Peggy living their life together, so heartwarming...

Yeah, except once you think about it, then you want to use that shield to fucking brain the skrull that must be impersonating Steve Rogers.

Because, in order to buy this story, we have to believe that Steve “I don’t like bullies” Rogers, Steve “If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it” Rogers, Steve “On va voir” Rogers, Steve “I can do this all day” Rogers deliberately chose to spend the rest of his fucking life doing exactly nothing, otherwise the timeline would have been SERIOUSLY rebooted.

A life of inaction, hiding the fact of his existence.

Sure, that totally sounds like the Steve Rogers we have been watching up until this point.

Instead of an ending about moving forward no matter what life throws at you, we got one about happiness being literally going backwards.

Because that’s a totally healthy message.

Hell, you decide to go the retirement route, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it. If, after all the trauma of Infinity War + the five years interlude + the shitstorm of Endgame, Steve decided to lay aside the shield for a while and try to make an actual, functional life for himself I would have been all for it. If nothing else, the guy could make do with a lot of therapy. Most crucially, not being Captain America would not mean quitting the fight: he could do just as much good as an artist, a politician, an opinion leader, an activist or what have you. All that is not gonna be possible in the past, because to mantain the timeline he cannot become anyone relevant in any way. Especially since he knows Hydra is still around and attracting notice would mean risking some of that attention coming from them. So no, absconding to the past means by necessity a life not fighting in any way, not doing anything of any particular importance whatsoever.

This is completely antithetical to everything that Steve Rogers, as he was shown up until now, stands for.

And we have yet to touch the morality of it all, or the lack thereof.

Lest I get accused of being a bitter Stucky shipper whose slash goggles cannot make her appreciate a Steggy ending, let me point out that I ship Steggy as much as Stucky and if anything I am a bitter Peggy Carter fangirl: Our Kick-Ass Lady of the No Holds Barred Beatdown unquestionably deserves better than this crap.

By which, I’m not even talking about how this ending shits all over the closure we got before and the entirety of the Agent Carter run, which both show that while Peggy unquestionably loved Steve, she mourned him for a while and then, as healthy people do, moved on to have a perfectly fulfilling life with a rewarding job and eventually a new love and family. I’m not even talking about how this takes her back the “Steve Rogers’ Love Interest” route, Betty Carver-style, instead of letting her be her own woman with her own story that may have started alongside Steve Rogers but then developed on her own terms. I’m not talking about how she was rewinded from a character in her own right to a “hero’s” prize.

I’m talking about how this supposed happy ending to slow dancing and snuggling is based on either Peggy being apparently also brain damaged to the point that, upon hearing that the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool, just rolls with it - which, I think we can all agree, is definitely not something our Agent Carter would ever in a million years do - or Steve merrily electing to spend something like 50 years lying like a motherfucker to the supposed love of his life about how the organization she’s busting her ass to run is a Nazi cesspool. True love, everyone!

Fuck you: Peggy Carter fucking deserved better than this.

This also leaving aside the fact that, in this happy ending, Steve knows that while he’s squirreled away in the woods dancing and doing decoupage, his supposed best friend is getting tortured to the point of complete dehumanization. But whatever, he’ll eventually be fine, no use doing anything about it. Oh, JFK got murdered? Nice shot, Buck! Oh, there goes Howard, a smooth operation, buddy: hope the brain-frying won’t be too bad, just hang on until 2014.

End of the line my goddamn ass.

Oh, and since no-one’s memories are rewritten, Bucky also conceivably knows all this. He knows that his supposed best friend voluntarily spent his life doing squat to save him.

Fuck you: Bucky Barnes fucking deserved better than this.

SO, TO RECAP: Steve Rogers is a selfish ass who chose a life of inaction, Peggy Carter is either his accomplice or a dupe and Bucky Barnes lost his best friend all over again. Coherent characterization got sacrificed for a theoretical feel-good moment that doesn’t stand up to the most cursory examination before being revealed as sheer horrifying fuckery.

Sure, Sam gets to be the new Captain America (which, don’t get me wrong: he totally deserves it and at this point he’s more worthy of it than the original), but that’s literally the only good thing in a mountain of shit dumped over characters that deserved much better.

I get that Evans wanted out, but there are ways to do it and then there are ways. Tony went out like a goddamn hero. So did Natasha.

Steve went out quitting - aka the one and only thing Steve Rogers would never ever do - and in addition what can only be called a bastard who shrugged off his best friend’s decades-long torture and quite likely spent his life lying to the woman he loves.

Fuck you: Steve Rogers fucking deserved better than this.

If there could be a worse impression to leave bowing out than this one, I’m honestly unable to imagine it (Well, beside making Steve Hydra for real: but considering that he spent his live blithely pretending they were not still around murdering, torturing and so on, that makes him a collaborationist at best and WOW, at this point it’s kinda splitting hairs, isn’t it?).

Coming into Endgame, I knew this was gonna be Cap’s last waltz and after spending years as a Steve Rogers fan I was dreading watching him die. Now, I wish he could have gone out with the heroism and dignity of Tony or Natasha instead of... whatever this was. I could have mourned him while celebrating him, instead of mourning what he used to be while despising what he was made to become.

This Steve Rogers fan, who spent years loving him while being annoyed and occasionally enraged by Tony Stark, left the theatre feeling deeply moved by Tony and quite honestly hating the guts of whatever was left of Steve. If someone told me this would happen I wouldn’t have believed them and yet here we are.

Personally, in order to actually enjoy the movie and especially to be able to retain any fondness whatsoever for one of my most beloved characters, those last five minutes are gonna join the entirety of Age of Ultron in the realm of “I recognise Marvel Studios have made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it”.

As far as I’m concerned, Endgame ended with Tony Stark’s funeral. A fitting tribute to the fallen hero who started it all, to the road that took us to this moment and all those characters who travelled it with us.

To the end of an era and hope for the next one.

#MCU #avengers endgame #not my steve rogers #endgame spoilers #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #review #rant #endgame wtf #epic fail

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