#not being able to tell romantic feelings and platonic feelings is a very common neurodivergent thing btw

[t4tdanvis]

It also doesn’t help that I cannot barely tell types attraction and normal feelings apart. I feel generally excited to hug my friend and then panic and worry I have a crush on them

undoing internalized amatonormativity (holy shit big words im so smart) is very difficult bc its so ingrained in us that if u feel close to someone it Must Be Romantic and society says that there if u feel warm and fuzzy around someone u Must Be In (Romantic) Love which doesnt take into account that u absolutely can like ur friends?? u can be close to ur friends without considering ur relationship to be romantic! its like ppl point at what they say is an obvious line between Romance and Just Friends but the "line" is just a random stick that fell on the sidewalk

[mclennonlgbt]

Paul's alleged neurodiversity, and how did it affect his relationship with John?

EDIT: After receiving some comments, I understood I oversimplified that issue. Probably John was also a ND person because this is a really broad term. But my point still stands: I think the main reason of John's rejection was that Paul wasn't able to distinguish between different types of attraction and couldn't communicate it in the way that was clear to John.

Disclaimer: Everything I say in this post is my opinion only. I don't insist that it has to be absolutely true. Also, I'm not going to diagnose someone remotely! What I'm going to do here is a fan analysis of my favorite musicians rather than a PhD thesis.

So, I was listening to Another Kind of Mind podcast, more specifically - Episode 5 of their Pizza and Fairytales series. The hosts express a hypothesis that I immediately found credible: maybe Paul is neurodivergent? Here is the speculation material: Paul is one of the most prolific and productive songwriters of the second half of the 20th century (a reference to music being his special interest); very often he gives the impression that he is masking his various reactions, feelings, as if he is wearing armor - masking is a very common practice among neurodivergent people, especially if the family expected them to "behave normally" (which was the case with Paul); the hosts also pointed his nervous tics, his synesthesia and the fact that some of his patterns of behavior are as rigid as telling the same stories over and over again.

Again - it's not diagnosis, it's just guessing, speculating. From my perspective, as a non-neurotypical person, I can say that this theory makes a lot of sense.

But how does all of this relate to McLennon? Well, here's my interpretation: Lennon was neurotypical (EDIT: he probably wasn't but IMO he had more "neurotypical" concept of love and affection than Paul), so he could make a clear distinction between platonic and romantic attraction. Consequently, he was aware that he was in love with McCartney and expected a reaction from him.

And Paul is perhaps non-neurotypical. I know from experience (mine and some other people - this is anecdotal evidence, not reliable research) that often neudivergent persons either do not distinguish between platonic and romantic love, or they do not care too much about the difference, or they merge into one. Or they have some other types of attractions (understanding them and translating them into the language of the neurotypical world can be a daunting or even impossible task). So McCartney might not really know what Lennon expected from him + might not know / still don't know what he exactly felt about Lennon? I mean, I'm sure he felt and feel love, but can he distinguish the type? He wanted to be John's best friend and songwriting partner - and nothing else/more, or did he need to be in a romantic relationship with him? Or maybe he needed something else? The first difficulty is understanding what you are feeling. The second is to communicate it to the other person. In my view John wasn't overly understanding, especially on a delicate and vulnerable matter such as feelings, because he was terrified of rejection.

Here's how I imagine their interaction in India:

JOHN: I'm in love with you, do you want to be with me?

PAUL:

*inside: Hmmm, what exactly is the difference between brotherly and romantic love? How is friendship different from a romantic relationship, especially in our case? Let me analyze all my 25 types of attraction...

*outside: lack of unambiguous reaction

JOHN: Oh, so you're rejecting me, right? Okay! Then fuck off! I'm going to get Yoko and we will parade with our love and relationship so hard that maybe it will finally provoke you to some kind of reaction, fucking prick!

This is the interpretation in which I believe the most today. But I'd love to hear your thoughts! No ableism allowed.