#not bad for someone who hasn't drawn or painted in years though i think

[buried-in-stardust]

Went to a hanfu tryout and fan painting event!

I tried on this Tang dynasty style hanfu, and although it was a bit too big for me and I could not get used to the sleeves (they kept getting caught on things), it was very fun!

I only wrote the date in the 干支 (ganzhi, 60 year cycle) format and my name (Feng **) because I wanted to write something but had no idea what to write. I was originally going to write in a more cursive style, but then I chickened out, so my writing looks like a little kid's here lmao.

(My phone camera's quality is shit, sorry)

[alarici]

this is definitely influenced by lawlight i've read recently. when i was first exposed to dn yaoi at like 13 i forget which lawlight tropisms caught me but lately im drawn to ambigous badwrong bad vibes but they do love each other in their fucked up way type situations. how rich and rife. light isn't quite a trophy. L is a horrible example in every way (of a husband or senior or role model etc). in some universe where they get married where light is quite young and L is not so young there's this decade-post-facto look back on what could have been (on both side) where light is like mourning never having a college girlfriend and L makes petty jabs about picking wrong and how light hasn't lived up to his potential in xyz ways and sometimes they have really really bad vanilla missionary and sometimes light ties L to the california king's headboard and leaves him there.

it's kind of funny how certain types of marriages are a surrender of identity and agency and light is big on trying to act like he's grown when he's not but hes adamantly and very self awarely aware of the _grooming accusations_ and, like everyone in a similar relationship, thinks he's different. and maybe he really is. he really is smarter than a lot of them and knows he wanted a challenge something difficult someone, the first person ever(!) to really actually get him but when they're on vacation in monaco he thinks about flyng, and L gives him a look and makes him eat breakfast and that's that.

light is the one with the bravado and charisma and most people see him as the one dragging L around and making him hospitable and this is true in some ways and in others. well,,, they don't need to see what goes on behind closed doors. light has this idea of himself that gave up so much to be married to this super special magnetic toxic genius etc guy; this idea of himself who supports him and his career, could have been a better detective but plays second fiddle to his husband--feeding him ideas. and whenever this comes out in their cat fights L is like, then prove it, and light can never because it's L's money, L's team, L's cases, and all roads lead back to rome.

light is possessive and clingy but not clingy in the typical sense. L is paranoid (of course he is). L likes to think he neutralized a big threat by slipping a ring on it, but he's still such a damn hassle. that his husband needs to be flown back to japan see his family sometimes and that he isn't satisfied with a new raquet, or an entire tennis court, for his birthday because 'that isn't what i asked for.' even though L can't buy the stupid rothko he asked for, etc. and light didn't want the painting anyway. L does love him, loves him more with time. it's like an initial spike of obsession? magnetism when they meet in L's first year of university and (no death note au this is i think....the substances are speaking atp) then a fizzle and then they're married and slowly slowly L finds himself really really into peeling back layers and layers and seeing how much light can take and pressing /all/ of his buttons and sticking his hands too close to the fire and being a masochist about when his little minx tests his teeth.

this isn't the kind of thing im partcularly apt at writing but maybe a stretch goal. the actual ffic todo is uh,,,,,,,,,,, dn secret santa! which i totally haven't forgotten about

what compels me most about lawlight is the fucked up age gap isms wherein light is a vicious young thing who they may just put on klonopin and L is fucking insane

[apollos-boyfriend]

okay okay. thank you everyone for the ideas (keep em coming!) i think we're getting somewhere. i'd like to post everyone's tags but that'd be very lengthy so i'd DEFINITELY recommend going through the notes on this if you have the chance and are interested. i'd like to highlight some points ppl have made that i think make a lot of sense!

first point (made by a few people, largely an anon and @/asherisimmortal): it IS just the fact that jack is a year older, to an extent. having a fandom so largely made up by a younger audience means the prospect of age is a bit skewed (obvious enough by people seeing philza, who's only in his 30s, and thinking he's "old"). to them, there IS a huge difference between the concepts of 17 and 18, drawing a strict line between the two ages. ofc in reality, there's literally no difference between the experience of being 17 and 18, but most of the fandom hasn't experienced that, so it's a foreign concept. 18 is already seen as a full adult, despite the fact that by all intents and purposes, the mind stays largely the same developmentally.

second point (made by @/nervousmonolith): a lot of people who group c!purpled in with the rest of the minors are c!bench mains. more accurately, c!tommy mains, judging from the sheer amount of emphasis on goldenduo dynamics. what i failed to take into account was c!jack's arc in relation to trying to kill c!tommy, and how that would change people's perception of him. (i hadn't considered it because, for me, if people were able to woobify c!purpled, who has actually killed someone, there'd be no issues with doing the same to c!jack. i didn't consider the difference between people's attachments to each of their "victims".) tying back into point one, the strict line of age is drawn. instead of two teens beefing, people see it how they see c!dream and c!tommy's relationship: a big bad adult going after a poor innocent child. which is not the case in the slightest, but that's another debate. c!jack is harder for the people who write c!purpled in such a way to woobify, because there's a more personal vendetta and bias towards him being "evil" and "adult".

third point (made by @/noobsomeexagerjunk and @/lilyvines): people who write that kind of stuff most likely just don't watch purpled. either his dream smp pov or him in general. he's seen as a blank slate to paint over, as they don't really KNOW him, asides from the little he was shown in las nevadas. c!jack, on the other hand, was more largely shown through c!tommy and co. there's a pretense created, one that you can get called out on easily, as most people know c!jack to some extent, and are more able to realize when he's written ooc (in their eyes). most people who engage in content that depicts c!purpled in the uwu traumatized manner, though, don't watch him. they can't call out what they don't know, and with fanon growing, it becomes an echo chamber of "oh, this is probably right, since everyone else is doing it!", when it couldn't be farther from the truth

actually. building off of what bri’s talking about. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this for fucking ages now but cant for the LIFE of me figure out the reason, so i’m putting it out there to see if anyone can come up with anything more solid than my theories.

cc!jack and cc!purpled are one year apart. c!jack and c!purpled are fairly similar characters, to an extent—both of some their biggest/most memorable moments being ones spurred by anger, culminating in either attempted murder or successful murder. they both deal with feeling like they’ve been cast aside; no one noticed jack went to hell and crawled out, no one notice purpled’s home got blown up twice. c!jack is far more outwardly vulnerable and emotional than c!purpled, as shown by his reaction to c!tommy’s death. so why is it that c!purpled is the infantilized one? the one made into the “soft uwu trauma” stereotype?

it’s not proximity to the other teens—both cc! and c!jack interact way more with benchtrio than purpled does. as i said, i don’t think it’s because c!purpled shows anything like that (neither does c!jack), since c!purpled is extremely closed-off and doesn’t confront his emotions as much as he should. the only thing i can think of is age. somehow, for SOME reason, the one year difference between the two have made them so MASSIVELY different in fanon’s terms, but even then, that’s in no way getting to the bottom of it. i’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts on why this might be the case, because for once, i’m absolutely fucking stumped