#not ashamed to be the REAL old people lover :33

[lenny-link]

lenny x administrator :3

here me tf2 self insert:

[zebrashavestripes]

Answer all questions for ask game about your cats!!(I'm dying for knowing about ash and Sabby pleeeaase!!😍)

Oh my goodness girl, so many, but okay.

1. Name? Ash and Sabrina2. Fur colour? Ash has grey fur on his back, with white markings on his face and white on his belly. Sabrine is the same, but with black on her back, and a special marking on her face.3. Any family you know (other than you)? They are related by blood as brother and sister, which is cute I think :)4. Age? 21 months old (my babies), which is around 17 in cat years5. Favorite toy? They love playing with cardboard for some reason, it’s super weird. There are cardboard scraps all over my house. And, according to Ash, Sabrina’s tail is his FAVOURITE toy.6. Nicknames? Ash: Ashy, Ashy baby, baby boy, pretty boy, foofy boy, crazy boy. Sabrina: Sabbi, Sabrrrrrrrrrina, Miss, purrty, pretty girl, baby girl, fluffy girl,  Miss desperate and more7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Ash is both of those and Sabrina is neither. Sabrina is too good for you. How dare you be in her prescence? But also, freaking pat her already, she’s desperate, people!8. Length of fluff? So long, omg. The flooofiest. Ash is the fluffiest, just covered in clouds of fur. Sabrina’s fur is long but a bit sleeker.9. Any funny habits? Does eating things they’re not supposed to count? Or the fact Ash always wants me to walk him to the food and keep him company while he eats. Sabrina’s habit of turning around and forcing your hand into her face is a nice one.10. How old were they when you met? 9 months. BABIES11. What does their food bowl look like? They have a conjoined bowl which is bright green and a water bowl with little fishies on.12. Indoor or outdoor cat? They’re allowed to go outside, but Ash prefers to be indoors where he can move and lounge around without cause, where as Sabrina loves exploring outside, she kept escaping when I first got her, lol13. Recent picture?

Sleepy babies.14. Old picture?

BABIES15. Cuddly? Reasonably so. I’m the only one they really let pick them up, but they don’t mind sitting beside you or on your bed and stuff. I actually think it depends on their mood, or how hot it is on the day.16. Ever changed their name? YES. I kept Ash’s name, he was called that when I got him from the SPCA. But Sabrina’s original name was Scamp which we didn’t like because such a name is not appropriate for royalty.18. Eye color? Yellow/green19. How do they express love for you? Ash follows me around the house, Sabrina walks up to me when she comes in from exploring. Both like to be in my room when I wake up. They’re really nice cats. Also, tolerating me picking me up is definitely a sign of love.20. How do you express love for them? HEAPS of pats, feeding them good food, and by telling them all the time through long blinks and actual words.21. Any theories on what breed? I don’t really care about breeds, honestly. What matters is what kind of personality they have, not their genetics.22. Do they ever wake you up? YES. Recent time Ash woke me up: He was meowing for me to get out of bed so I went and saw he had a mouse. Sadly, I was not surprised by this. Recent time Sabrina woke me up: Came into my room and started ripping up my homework, lol. Silly girl.23. How much do they meow? They aren’t super loud, but Ash will meow when we go to get his food because he’s happy about it and wants to communicate. I always meow back. Sabrina’s meow is more squeaky, lol, and she does it when someone touches her unexpectedly of when she comes inside and sees me, or when she’s been picked up and she doesn’t like it.24. Any hiding spots? Ash likes to lie beneath the table and my chair, etc. Sabrina will hide behind the couch occasionally. They have both hidden beneath stools because the fabric will hang down to cover them, bu their paws and tails peek out so I always know they’re there.25. Do they enjoy guests? Depends. A hoard of screaming children? Hell no. A lot of people in one room? Nope! They’ll be in my room the entire time. One person carefully introducing themselves? Okay, now you’re talking.26. Lofty objects to sit on? The back of the couch. Various window sills.27. Wear a collar?(and describe collar?) Yes! They have matching collars. Ash’s one is blue, Sabrina’s is purple. They both have a magnet on to get through the catflap.28. How much shedding? Inevitable with such long-haired cats. There is so much cat fluff all through the house.29. Do they enjoy brushing? Sabrina LOVES brushing. Will purr the entire time, will make you feel so special. Ash hates it. Will only let me do it, and I still will come back a little scratched and bitten. He’s a vicious boy. I love him.30. Ever drink from the toilet? Lol, yes. They leave paw maks on the bowl. But Sabrina prefers to drink from the sink. She’s more proper that way. Sometimes, they even drink from the bowl.31. How do they get your attention? For Ash, meowing usually does the trick. Sabrina, you can call her sometimes but it’s best just to go up to her.32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done? Ash fell out of a window. His face, omg. He was so ashamed.33. Weirdest thing they try to eat? Ash likes to eat peas. There’s no try about it, he does it. Sabrina likes to try to eat paper and cardboard.34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends? They’re my children. My babies.35. What time do they eat breakfast? Whenever they want. They self regulate their eating.36. Do you cut their nails? No? Why would I do that? How else will they scratch their foes?37. Do you think they understand you? Yes. Of course.38. Ever make fun of them? Of course. Ash can be so stupid and violent (He’s an Ed Nygma, lol). Sabrina pretends to be all innocent and perfect but she likes to play just as much and is SO desperate for the pats.39. Do you take their picture often? When I feel like it. I like taking pictures of them.40. Ever hiss at you? Not really. Last time I heard Ash hiss, it was because a baby was crawling towards him and Ash felt trapped and didn’t want to hurt the baby, so he was trying to tell it to go away. I don’t think I remember Sabrina hissing.41. Ever try to scratch or bite you? Yes :) Attack babies. Ash has no hesitation, loves clawing and biting. Sabrina Will claw to stay attached to you or to bring your hand closer to her face for PATS.42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do? If they’re in a good mood, they do nothing. Otherwise, Sabrina will pull away, and Ash will bite you or scratch you or both. 43. Do they ever eat bugs? SO MANY BUGS. They don’t discriminate, if you are bug they are eating you. They bring them in to play with before they have their meal. They’re a bit sadistic, although I’m sure Sabrina would protest me saying that. The favourite is Wetas, which are exclusive to NZ as far as I know.44. Canned or dry food? Dry food. It’s better for their fur.45. Weight? Ash is heavier, around 7kg or so last time I checked. Sabrina was closer to 5kg. But it’s been a really long time since I checked.46. Ever got lost? Nope.47. Do you buy them presents? I am their present. I am a gift.48. Do they respond when you call? When they want to, lol.49. Do they ever see other cats? There are other cats on the street, but they don’t like each other.50. Declawed? NO!!!!!51. Funniest expression? Ash makes a face everytime he thinks I’m about to give him food. Sabrina likes to look around with her eyes barely open, silently judging you for being in her presence (and not patting her).52. Favorite place to be pet? Face. Cheeks, chin, fore head, FACE.53. Worst thing they’ve destroyed? A whole frozen chicken. We don’t talk about it.54. Give them a head kiss. I did. Sabrina made such a cute, squeky meow that I had to pat her afterwards. Ash was like “wtf are you doing?” I think he’s only interested in food atm, lol.55. What time of the year is most exciting for them? Spring. They go outside lots and the grass is super wet and they get leaves and shit stuck in their fur.56. Are they good at hunting real prey? They have killed two birds and one mouse and soooo many insects. Does that count?57. Do they ever attack nothing? Of course. Especially Ash. He stupid.58. What are they doing right now? Sabrina’s on the chair, wondering why I left her after giving her kiss and pats. Ash is licking himself.59. How long have you had them? About a year. My last cat I had 8 years.60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you? No. What would be the point? Cats are more peaceful than kittens anyway.61. Ever baby-talk to them? Everyday. They are babies.62. Favourite napping position? Ash is a lover of the C position, or loaf position. Sabrina is a big fan of Ball of Fur position.63. Have you ever stepped on their paw? No.64. Ever tripped you on stairs? Yes, lol. That’s what they get for running like that.65. Any ear hair? They gots furry ears, it’s cute.66. Favourite view from a window? They like to watch the birds nest out one of the windows, Ash especially.67. Describe why they are precious. Because they just are so preicous. Sabrina is so tiny and baby but also attac and playful but she deny it. Ash is stupid baby, scaredy cat but he attack and pretend to be brave and I love my brave scaredy-cat baby.68. Fit the cat stereotype? Some of them, yeah.69. Chaotic neutral? Lol, Ash is chaotic Evil, but Sabrina is def chaotic neutral, even though she claims to be lawful good.70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company? Yes, I believe they do.71. Are you their favourite human? Definitely.72. Do they like tv? I think so. I’ve caught them both watching my laptop screen over my shoulder.73. Favourite noise to make? They love to purrr and make their lil meows.74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be? I don’t know what is is, lol

Wow, so many questions. You now know so much about my cats.

[down-in-dixie]

Muse Interview Meme;

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? “My name is Lena Beaumont.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? “I just told you...”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT? “I was named after my dad’s great aunt.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? *Smirks* “Why do you ask, are you interested? But all joking aside, I was  married until about three years ago when I decided to divorce my husband. I haven’t really dated much since then and have just been trying to enjoy life as a single woman.” 

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS? “I can morph into a large wolf. Does that count?”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? “My eyes are brown with a hint of gold. ”

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? “It’s dark brown.”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “Yep. I still have both of my parents, along with an older sister named Kendra and two younger sisters named Dana and Rachel. I also have two brother-in-laws, Jason and Aiden.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? “Being the animal lover that I am, I have a cat named Casey and two horses named Phoenix and Side Eye. They’re basically like my four-legged children.” *laughs*

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU’RE BAD AT. “Cooking. I’m so bad at it that I even caught the stove on fire once while trying to cook a simple meal. I thought I was going to burn down my apartment.” 

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? “Of course I do, doesn’t everyone? I like to draw, watch old movies, go for a ride on my motor bike, play baseball and go horseback riding.”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? “Not intentionally.”

14. EVER….KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? “......No. But I’ll admit that I’ve wanted to.”

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? “We’ve already established that I’m a wolf, remember?”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. *Ducks her head and avoids eye contact* “I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but that would probably be drinking. I really should cut back on the alcohol before it’s too late.”

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? “Mostly my parents.”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? ”I enjoy the company of both men and women.” 

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? “No, thank God. I finished school years ago.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY? “This is a rather touchy subject for me because I’ve been both married and pregnant before, and both cases ended in disaster. So, I’m a bit hesitant about this. But...I wouldn’t mind trying it again eventually. Maybe I would have better luck the second time around.”

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS / FANGIRLS? “Seriously?” *laughs* “No, I definitely don’t have any of those.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “Losing the people that I love.”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? “Well, it depends on the weather of course, but I’ll usually wear a pair of jeans and a blouse. A pantsuit or dress if I have to get all dolled up.”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “I love a lot of people. But I’m not really IN love with anyone right now.”

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? “So you’re going to break out the embarrassing questions now, huh? Too bad I don’t have an answer for you.”

26. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “A fairly large circle of them.”

27. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? “I like it. Especially apple pie served cold with whipped cream on top.”

28. FAVOURITE DRINK? “I like to drink Dr.Pepper and margaritas. Separately, of course.”

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? “I like a lot places and they’re all great in their own way, but for me nothing beats home, sweet, home.”

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? “Not at the moment.”

31. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? “You first. Go ahead I’ll wait.”

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? “A swimming pool would do just fine.”

33. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? “I don’t have a type. If I like you, I like you.”

34. ANY FETISHES? “None that I’m going to admit to.”

35. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? “That’s something that you’d have to find out for yourself.”

36. CAMPING OR INDOORS? “I wouldn’t mind going camping. It could be fun.”

37. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END? “Now I’m confused. I didn’t realize that this was a quiz, I thought it was an interview? Either way, I don’t have anything better to do at the moment so I could keep going if you want to.”

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 33: A few steps back

Her we are again. I hope you all enjoy chapter 33.

I wanna thank you all for the feedback here an on Anastasia’s IG profile that I left terribly abandoned but I will retake it! Don’t worry about it!

Meanwhile you can check old posts there:

Anastasia_Truman  ❤️️

Thanks to everyone who reads the fic, much love to you all! ♥

Read chapter 32

Lauren joined the tour until the Jacksonville date; she was taking a mini vacation from her album recording, as Anastasia found out one night in a bar from Carl. She hadn’t spoken to Josh since them, but her message with Silver Springs had been loud and clear.

 While in Orlando they had two days off, so everyone agreed on going to Universal Studios and have a different day with all the tour crew, which was an amazing group of people. Anastasia had so much fun visiting the The Wizarding World of Harry Potter that for an afternoon, she forgot about the whole Josh issue; she focused on enjoying the Harry Potter ride since she was such a Potterhead.

 But Anastasia still hadn’t spoken to Josh. Anxiety took over her mind and Xanax started to be a regular thing, she knew it was wrong but it made her feel so good, forgetting everything around her. She woke up the second morning in Orlando and popped two Xanax like it was routine, Mandy wasn’t in the room at that moment which made it easier for An to do so. She went back to bed and her phone started ringing, she looked at the screen and saw three letters she didn’t want to see: JAK, but without thinking about it she picked up.

 -          Did I wake you? – Josh asked before An could say anything.

-          No – Anastasia answered while the pills kicked in.

-          Can you meet me so we can talk? – He asked softly.

-          Josh…

-          An, please! – He begged.

-          Ok.

-          I’ll see you at the lobby in ten – She hang up.

 That was hell, she was high with the pills and now Josh wanted to talk, she was going to act stupid. “Why did I agree?” she though, “I’m so fucking weak for this asshole”, her mind was having a conversation of her own. She got up while the effect of the Xanax was still mild, and got dressed with a simple t-shirt, a pair of jeans and Vans – It was starting to get hot outside - and walked out and to the lobby.

 -          So, listen… – Josh started to talk while they were walking near the hotel but Anastasia interrupted him.

-          I know what you are going to say, Josh, and you don’t need to lie to me about Lauren. It’s obvious you two have a relationship, I know you were with her on New Year’s Eve while I was with your friends, you don’t need to keep lying to me. More than lovers we have always been friends and we can’t have any kind of relationship if you aren’t honest – Josh opened his eyes wide.

-          I can’t say sorry enough…

-          You don’t need to say sorry.

-          I’m just confused because… You are amazing and you have your life all figured out, and I’m here dealing with insecurities that I have been working on for so long, but then you came to my life and give me a chance to be with you… but I realized that it made my insecurities even worst.

-          I’m so sorry to hear that…

-          I’m not in love with Lauren but she makes me feel good.

-          I thought I did my best to make you feel good.

-          You did but this is not your fault, it’s me. It’s me and my fucked up brain.

-          We all have a fucked up brain, you say I have my life all figured out when you know my life is a mess too. I have a mother who hates me, I always been drowning in work, focusing on keeping myself busy and leaving my personal life to a side, and now I’m almost 30, I’m alone and I probably won’t have a family because my life moves around my job and… there are more stuff – Anastasia was thinking if it was a good moment to tell him that she was unable to get pregnant, but he talked first.

-          I’m almost 40 and dating a girl that I definitely don’t want a family with. I love you – He said stopping walking and holding her by her shoulders forcing her to look at him – I really do, but it’s hard for me to be with somebody like you because I’m not mentally prepared for that. I know it’s stupid but I’m immature in so many aspects.

-          I love you too – She said – But all this made me feel so bad and it just made me realize how alone I am, and in a certain way it made me hate myself because I’m to blame in some level. I just can’t keep anybody next to me. You just changed me for another girl and that destroyed me.

-          I’m an idiot and you can hate me. I deserve it.

-          I don’t hate you, that’s the thing. I can’t hate you. You are my friend after all and we are working together now, I have to deal with you – She was calm because of the pill, but inside she wanted to stab him with the first thing she could find.

 They walked some more and stopped in front of a mural that represented people working on fields but their faces were badly done, and by that moment the Xanax was on full effect on Anastasia.

 -          That’s one fucking ugly mural – Anastasia said smiling in a silly way.

-          Yeah – Josh laughed noticing something wrong with her.

-          What? – The Xanax was at its full effect by then – Oh my God! – Anastasia couldn’t see clear.

-          Did you take something by any chance? – Josh said smiling; the situation was fun for him – Something like drugs?

-          Yeah! – Anastasia started crying – I took two fucking Xanax this morning because I’m tired of feeling, Josh! – She screamed - I’m so tired of everything! I haven’t done this since high school and that’s one fucking ugly mural – She was crying even more and Josh hugged her smiling – It’s so ugly.

-          Yes, it’s an ugly mural – Josh ram his hand through her hair – You need food, let’s go get a burger.

-          This is your fault – Anastasia said cleaning the tears from her face – It’s your fucking fault – She was acting tipsy and threw her arms to Josh neck while resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes.

-          How I wish it weren’t – Josh said kissing her hair.

-          I want that burger – Anastasia pulled away from Josh and tried to stand in front of him, she couldn’t without his help. He smiled again and took her by the waist – But wait! – She stopped – People are gonna know that I’m high.

-          Well, we’ll have to act – Josh said laughing.

-          But I can’t act!

-          You can, I’ve seen your music videos – Anastasia had a shocked expression on her face.

-          You did? Aw! – She was going through a lot of moods in that moment.

-          Come on – Josh took her by the waist again and started to walk.

 Josh took her to eat a burger in the first place they found on the way, he ordered two avocado bacon burgers, because it was Anastasia’s favorite.

 -          Boy, I starved myself for so many years that once I found love for food I want to eat it all – She said and he laughed.

 The burger was surprisingly good and after that they went back to the hotel, where Josh took Anastasia to his room and let her sleep. She slept for two hours and woke up more grounded, the Xanax started to wear off, so Josh thought it was a good idea for her to take a bath and he ran it.

 -          Do you know what’s good after a drug train wreck? – Josh asked.

-          A beer? – Anastasia asked back with a smile.

-          A bath, come on! – Josh carried her since still was hard for Anastasia to stand still.

 He sat on the border of the bath tub and started to undress her, first her t-shirt, then the jeans, he stopped for a second and looked at her eyes, she had a silly smile on her face and then he proceeded to take her underwear off.

 -          It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before – Anastasia said getting inside the bathtub – Did you put essences on this bath? I smell coconut.

-          Yeah, I know how much you like it. I called the lobby and they sent me some – Josh said still in the border of the bathtub.

-          Wow! What a diligent little guy you are – Anastasia took seat and hugged Josh forcing him to fall on the bathtub getting all wet while wearing his clothes. The pills had lost the effect, Anastasia realized what she had done and felt instantly bad and ashamed – Oh my God, Josh! I’m so sorry. Oh God! – To her surprise, Josh was laughing.

-          It’s ok. Don’t worry – He got up inside the bathtub and started to take his clothes off.

-          What are you doing? – Anastasia asked confused.

-          I need a bath too – He said smiling and getting back into the bathtub this time completely naked, he noticed Anastasia’s confused look – It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before – She smiled.

 Anastasia got nervous for a moment, but they just stayed there in the bathtub in front of each other looking into their eyes and smiling. There wasn’t a need for sex in that bathroom, neither one of them tried to make a move. They just laid there enjoying each other’s company, looking at each other and smiling. For that moment, Anastasia finally felt peace after all those stormy months. For those minutes she even forgot that she was angry at Josh for cheating on her. Josh grabbed her right foot and started to rub it.

 -          Oh yeah! That feels good – Anastasia said almost moaning with her eyes close and a smile on her face – Listen – Josh locked looks with her – I’m sorry for being so stupid with the Xanax.

-          Don’t worry about it. I’ve been laughing the whole fucking day.

-          I’m glad for being your source for joy.

-          You’ve always been – He said smiling – But for real, promise me you won’t do it again, you don’t need that, An, look at all the amazing things you have in life.

-          I’m looking at one right now – She said looking at him straight.

 Suddenly she felt the urge to kiss him but maybe that would ruin the moment. But Josh didn’t think the same, he took her wrists and pulled her towards him and kissed her so tenderly and so lovingly, sliding his hands into her wet hair slowly. He cupped her face after the kiss and stared at her for a few seconds.

 -          I’m always gonna be here for you – He said and put Anastasia’s arms around him forcing her to hug him.

 They just stayed there, in that position for about an hour. It was one of those incredible moments of intimacy without sexual touch that you only see in movies.

 Now she was lying next to Josh on his hotel bed. He was looking at something on his Notebook and she was staring at the ceiling, thinking about what just happened. At that moment all of her problems seemed so small, she had this man that cared about her but who was confused, so she decided she wasn’t going to force him, she wasn’t going to force any kind of situation. Josh needed to find his path on his own. She wanted him, she couldn’t lie about that and she knew he wanted her too, so Anastasia preferred to let everything flow. Josh was amazing as a lover and as a friend and she didn’t want to lose that, after all they were both adults and having this kind of friends-with-benefits thing was what adults did, she thought.

 The Miami schedule was perfect, they had another two days off before the show and everyone tried to get the most out of them. On Tuesday the sun was shining bright so Chad thought it was a great idea to rent a yacht and both bands, managers and some friends had a day at the ocean. Anastasia was happy for the swimsuit weather and she wore the hottest one piece swimsuit of all, it was red, laced up on the sides and with a deep neck line. She felt Josh’s eyes over her the whole time but tried to not give it much attention to that. She loved the beach, she loved the ocean and the summer breeze and it was extremely pleasant to finally enjoy it, even more after a winter in Europe where fake fur coats and snow were the norm.

 An and Mandy enjoyed sunbathing in a pool float with the shape of a cloud and a rainbow, while Eric, Josh and Nick decided go for a jet ski race that Nick won. Then it was time for the girls, Flea joined them to win over the girls. Mandy brought a white Captain hat that everybody wore at some point, especially for pictures.

 -          Captain hats were so in at parties when we were 16 – Anastasia said to Josh, Nick, Eric and Mandy.

-          Typical California girl behavior – Josh said laughing while Anastasia was trying the hat and winking at him.

-          Well… that’s what we are – Mandy answered.

-          She’s not – Josh said laughing still. Now Anastasia was taking a selfie.

-          My birth certificate says London but my heart says California – Anastasia said taking off the hat and everyone laughed.

-          I think I want to go for another jet ski round – Mandy said.

-          I’m tired! – Anastasia excused herself.

-          I’m in! – Nick said with a smile.

-          I’ll join you – Eric said with enthusiast too and the three left Josh and Anastasia behind.

 Suddenly they were alone again in the backside of the yacht, while the rest were on the front and upstairs.

 -          Put that hat on again I want to take a picture – Josh said smiling.

-          You are on with the picture game lately.

 He didn’t answer and she did as he told her while Josh took his phone. First he took one of her alone and she felt a bit awkward don’t knowing how to pose but then he got close to her and took a selfie of both.

 -          You are going to fill your phone with my pictures – Anastasia said taking the hat off again.

-          I wouldn’t be mad about that – He smiled and was still so close to her that he couldn’t resist to kiss her lips, it was a short kiss but meaningful.

-          We need to be careful – She looked to the sides.

-          About what? – Josh asked with a confused look on his eyes.

-          About whatever the hell this is, Josh – She had to say it. It still was strange for her to kiss him knowing that he had a relationship with someone else.

-          First, it isn’t anybody’s problem if we kiss or not. Second, I’m sure nobody really cares and third, we are both adults, we don’t need to hide. Yes, I know it’s a strange thing we have but I can help it, especially when you look so sexy like today – Josh said grabbing her by the waist.

 He kissed her again but Anastasia had to stop him because she was sure things were going to get intense and that wasn’t the moment or the place to happen. He didn’t get mad, actually he felt a little bit ashamed but she let him know it was ok.

 It was so special to watch the sunset, out in the ocean, with all the people she loved, even Josh who hugged her the whole ride back to the shore.

 The weather was great in Miami, it wasn’t too dry and it was kind of windy at night. Mandy wanted to go out, Anastasia, Nick, Eric, Chad and Josh followed her as they ended up on a Mexican food restaurant which had the most perfect and delicious margaritas Anastasia had ever had (Mandy agreed). They ate an absurd amount of food and then drank some more. Josh didn’t stop smiling at Anastasia and she returned the glances like an idiot.

 -          Look who’s here! – Chad said pointing to a table next to them – Doctor Ramos Jr.

 Anastasia turned her head and there he was, Alejandro and two other friends.

 -          Hey, boss! – Alex answered with that smile that melted Anastasia’s soul.

-          I love when you call me boss with that accent. It’s so sexy – Chad mocked and they laughed.

-          Hey, An! – Alex greeted her.

-          Hi, Alex, haven’t seen you in days – She said politely.

-          You got your voice back, you don’t need me anymore – he answered still smiling.

-          Aw, don’t say that! – Chad said – I got to tell you – Chad said to the other two guys that were on Alejandro’s table – No one treasts my sore wrists like this dude! – They laughed – Why don’t you guys join us!

 And so they did, they joined tables and now the group was larger. Anastasia could feel how Alejandro kept looking at her and also she saw how Josh face went to total angry mode and kept looking at her and him. The air was tense. After an hour, Chad wanted to leave. Eric, Nick and Josh decided to join him. Alejandro had some other plans and the girls chose to go with him to explore the Miami nightlife.

 It was fun and different, Alejandro (staying true to his Latin roots) took the girls to a salsa club where An and Mandy made total fools of themselves trying to dance.

 -          We are too white for this shit – Mandy said at some point on the dance floor.

-          And I’m British. That adds a whole new level of complex – Anastasia answered laughing.

 Alejandro helped An a little and by the end of the night she got a lot better. She was enjoining his company, he was fun and easy going and the way he held her waist while dancing woke things in her that she thought were asleep. It was a whole new phase of sensuality. Mandy had fun too but around two of the morning the girls decided to go back to the hotel. Alejandro made sure they arrived safe and sound; Mandy went straight to their room while Anastasia remained at the lobby talking with Alex some more. After some more flirty smiles, he said goodbye with a sweet kiss on Anastasia’s cheek.

 An was smiling in that elevator like a teenager in love. Then, she walked to her room but a voice stopped her.

 -          Did you have fun? – Josh asked as she looked at him. Their rooms where on the same floor, his a couple of doors away from hers.

-          Now you stalk me on hotel hallways? – She asked him.

-          I was worried about you – He said.

-          Worried about what? – She wasn’t drunk but alcohol definitely ran in her system.

-          Come here – He commanded and she obeyed, like it was some kind of spell – I just don’t like that guy – He said tucking her hair behind her right ear.

-          What do you know? – Josh was coming closer.

-          He’s not your kind – Josh started to kiss her, there, in that lonely hallway and she couldn’t control it.

 He grabbed her waist with despair and carried her inside his room. She couldn’t stop him, she didn’t want to stop him; the more passion Josh gave her the more she wanted to take. She threw her legs around his waist as Josh sat her on his bed without stopping the kisses. She took his t-shirt off (he was wearing his bed time outfit) while he kissed her neck, she bit his earlobe and that created a fierce reaction from Josh who pushed her on the bed and undressed her with rage. He threw her shoes away and took off her short dress with such violence that An was sure he ripped it off. Now they were naked on the bed and when An tried to jump on top of him he grabbed her wrist and pushed her again against the bed. He was going to be on top, he was going to be in charge, and he did. She saw an animal spark in his eyes.

 Josh was full of rage at that moment as she could see but it didn’t scare her, it excited her, it was a side of Josh she hadn’t seen in bed yet. She had the best angry sex of her life that night.

  -          Last night was fun – Mandy said while she and Anastasia were having breakfast in their room next morning.

-          I know.

-          You disappeared with Alex – Mandy made an exaggerated smile on her face.

-          Hmm – Anastasia was trying to find the right words to break it to Mandy – I actually disappeared with Josh.

-          For the love of the Lord, Anastasia Truman! – Mandy screamed – Did you have sex with Josh again? – Anastasia shrunk – Can’t believe this.

-          It was the best dick I ever had in my life – Anastasia said smiling – He was angry.

-          Glad that all the suffering that you went through was worth it – Mandy said – Wait, did you say he was angry?

-          Yeah. He took control and he was kind of punishing me. It was so hot.

-          He was jealous – Mandy said.

-          Jealous? – Anastasia looked at her friend – Of Alex?

-          Of course! I saw him looking at you and him and the restaurant last night and then you went to him like a fucking prize. It’s ego stuff. Like saying to Alex: “Yes you can flirt but I’m the one who is fucking her”.

-          Well, I hope he goes on being jealous like that if sex is gonna be that amazing.

-          You have no repair, lady – Mandy said laughing – But what about the whole situation?

-          Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna let it flow and have fun in the meantime. I won’t worry about the future.

-          You know I’ll be here for you to kick Josh’s ass anytime he deserves it.

 Josh wasn’t so angry the rest of the Miami trip, Alex didn’t appear near them again and he performed the happiest show ever, he was all smiles playing the songs and jumping around and joking with Chad, while Anastasia stood next to the stage also smiling, because she knew she was the reason for his happiness.

Read chapter 34

[tailorcanoe55-blog]

You Owe Me an Apology

Serena Williams is the GOAT by all athletic standards. LeBron James has proclaimed it. Colin Kaepernick declared it. I'm very sure her daughter Olympia believes it. There is no modern athlete as awarded and credentialed as her, and if she never stepped foot on a court again, her status as the greatest of all time is, for many of us, set in stone, cast in gold, and permanently irrefutable.

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This is why it was fascinating to watch as the validity of Williams' reaction to being accused of cheating by umpire Carlos Ramos during the Women's Final of this year's US Open was debated, and debated, and debated some more. Some self-proclaimed tennis aficionados have argued that Serena's reaction was nothing more than the display of a sore, entitled loser. Others—including several professional male tennis stars and Billie Jean King, the grand matron of women's tennis—have called out the sexist double standard in both the umpire's calls and the public response to Serena's words. And just when we thought the conversation had quieted, an Australian cartoonist resurrected the trend in uninspired, boringly racist fashion, depicting Serena as an oversized brute, and Naomi Osaka, the new and powerful US Open champion of Haitian and Japanese descent, as a blonde-haired white woman.

But I'm not here to relitigate the incident. Because the most striking lesson I derived from all of this was a profound life lesson: demand the apologies you deserve.

Williams uttered the phrase with clarity, without irony or apology. Her feet were firm and her voice was steady.

"You owe me an apology."

Getty ImagesAnadolu Agency

In that instant, it occurred to me that I have never spoken this phrase. To anyone. Not a lover, not a friend. Not a bad boss or a vindictive colleague. This is not for lack of opportunity. I'm a black woman in America. I have been owed plenty of apologies.

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I just never believed I deserved to demand one.

In the instant that I watched Serena’s firm command, I anxiously searched my consciousness to determine why, in my 33 years of living, I had never demanded an apology I believed I was owed. I have certainly expressed personal and professional grievances; I have given voice to hurt feelings and frustrated moments with greater intention as I've grown in confidence—a confidence which is hard earned.

But the idea that someone would need to affirm responsibility for their actions and impact on me had just never occurred to me. I have quietly carried the scars of apologies desired but never received, seething with resentment but never questioning why I didn't demand an apology in the first place. I have always known, as seemingly all Black mothers say, that "closed mouths don't get fed," and that it is rare that anyone receives that which they do not ask for. Still, I had not formed my lips to utter the words: you owe me an apology.

I'm a black woman in America. I have been owed plenty of apologies. I just never believed I deserved to demand one.

The cycle of my socialization was centered on the archetype of the Strong Black Woman. I met her early and often. She was the long-suffering mother in films, and the sturdy women of my church. They held everything together—and I do mean everything—with little thanks, acknowledgment or applause. They suffered quietly and labored intensely. When they were wronged by men, they chalked it up. When they were abused by systems and institutions, they kept pushing. That’s a Black woman's life. Take a licking, keep on ticking, because if you don't, your family won't eat, the church won't run, and the school can't function. The weight of the world sits on our bosom, simply leaving no time to argue with the people who have harmed you. That’s a Black woman's life.

And if we ever did muster the audacity to push back, to demand, to respond? That did not come without punishment. As each of us are socialized, we develop survival mechanisms based on what we observe. When our proverbial hands get slapped, we learn to silence our instincts until that silence becomes habit.

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I was an early and vocal leader at my predominately white, affluent, private Midwestern high school. I spoke up in class, made speeches in school-wide assembly, and co-founded our school's first diversity organization back in 1998, long before the concept died an unceremonious death from overuse.

Despite some people’s discomfort with the topics we broached, our club was highly regarded and well-attended. There was one student, however, whose privileged existence saw my work as an existential threat to his way of life and inflated ego. I ignored him for several weeks as he harassed me between classes, walking closely behind me and asking me if his "whiteness" or "maleness" was "offending" me today. One day, though, I had had enough. Standing in front of the girls’ locker room, I finally turned and confronted him.

Then? He spit at me.

I now know this to be the classic fragility of patriarchal white supremacy. Back then, I was stunned.

I turned and entered the locker room. As I sat on the hard bench and stared into an empty locker, I somehow instinctively knew this was the quiet plight I had to carry. It was the same spit I’d seen hurled at Elizabeth Eckford, one of the Little Rock Nine, as I watched her silently integrate Little Rock's Central High School in the documentaries my parents had us watch. It was the same spit Diane Nash felt as she sat at segregated lunch counters in Nashville, TN. My adolescent pursuits toward social awareness were undoubtedly humble and incredibly minor by comparison, but the hate for the audacity of black womanhood was the same.

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After a week, I finally told someone—one of the two black teachers I had in my entire secondary experience. I told him only because I couldn't carry the emotional stain anymore, the shame that shouldn't have been mine to carry, but made me feel dirty all the same. But as I sat on his office couch, I knew the confession was futile. At just 15 years old, life had taught me enough for me to know nothing real would be done. The student who assaulted me was a rich white boy, the son of a trustee who was well-connected and well-respected. I was little black girl, a scholarship kid and the daughter of a hard-working widow. I knew how that story ended.

My prediction was correct. After my teacher made me tell our head of school, I received a forced, clenched-mouth apology-and further retribution from a student who was now even more angry. I never told anyone about the harassment that continued. I never asked for another apology.

As a Black woman, speaking up about the needs of others would win me applause; speaking up for myself would earn me punishment.

On that day, I learned with abundant clarity that black girls don’t demand apologies. As a Black woman, speaking up about the needs of others would win me applause; speaking up for myself would earn me punishment. I'd be vilified for even thinking I deserve dignity, and as I try to pursue justice for the rest of the world, I simply don't have that kind of time. For black girls, demanding the apologies we deserve is usually just wasted energy in a world where we can't afford to waste anything.

I didn’t tell that story again until I was 29 years old. By then, I was working daily in the Ferguson Uprising, and my high school asked me to return to that same assembly hall that had once earned me abuse and discuss our protest, power and plan. Before my speech I called that same trusted teacher and confided I was at an uncharacteristic loss for words. "The words will come to you," he said. And that story is what came out.

Even as I write this, tears are welling in my eyes, a salty mix of shame that I don't deserve and grief of a trauma unhealed. Consider, for a moment, all the apologies the women in your life, on your teams and in your family have never requested but were owed. Consider all the times they were given apologies and responded, "it’s ok," even though it wasn't. Consider all the times they themselves apologized for asking for an apology. Consider that the umpire may be any one of us who have harmed someone socialized to believe they must stomach the harm they receive.

Women are socialized to prioritize the comfort of others over self, no matter how shameful or painful the moment. This responsibility increases for women of color, who are often the mules of a society determined to pin domestic and social labor on Black, Latinx, Asian and Indigenous women who suffer in silence for fear of punishment and degradation.

Serena's declaration was an instantaneous declaration of freedom. Freedom for every woman who deserves an apology from the boss who gave her a #MeToo story to tell. Liberation for every black woman who was spoken over by a white woman in the erroneous name of unity in feminism. Deliverance for every little girl who's been socialized to believe she must sacrifice her dignity for your comfort.

You owe us an apology. And thanks to Serena, I'm no longer ashamed to demand it.

Brittany Packnett is an activist, educator and writer living in Washington, DC. She is co-host of Pod Save The People and a Fall 2018 Resident Fellow at Harvard’s Institute of Politics, teaching a course on social change.

Source: https://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/a23102883/you-owe-me-an-apology/

[diadyn]

NSFW Asks: 2, 4, 6, 11, 12, 27, 29, 30, 33, 38, 41, 45, 55, 58, 59, 66, 68, 70 (Yup, I'm THAT nosey/love sex talk)

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Non existent (ノ＞▽＜。)ノFor all my smut reading and shit posting, I’m as virginal as they come.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

Beards and tattoos. Also, red heads for some reason - all of a sudden I have a huge ginger kink? ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌




6: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

A guy talking in a college class offhandedly about how he shampoos his beard. I was transfixed, I found it wickedly hot for some reason.

11: What body attracts you the most, men or women?

Tall and with a bigger build, either muscle or thickness.

I'm 5'11'' myself and on the heavy side. I want a guy who’s comparable size wise. That being said people who are significantly taller than me intimidate me! I’ve always been the tallest or same height as people around me so when someone towers over me I suddenly feel ridiculously small. 


12: Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

No. Although I consider myself straight, I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to the idea either.

That being said it wouldn’t be something that happens on a whim. I have to really trust or have a connection with the person.

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

Hm. None? Tbh it’s been Tumblr that has me reaching out sexually lately and while I have had many fantasies (most I’d never act on in real life) being fantasy means I won’t ever regret and/or suffer the consequences.




29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Unfortunately none as of yet.


30: What do you think you and/or the opposite sex looks the sexiest in?

I look good in: tank tops, they are a way to show a little skin without being over be top. I’ve got some curves so tanks help accentuate them.

I like men in: flannel. I’m a total New Englander through and through! A good looking guy in a flannel is just 👌🏼

33: What your favorite part of your body:

My booty. Again I’m heavier so I have more junk in the trunk. I’m usually pretty self conscious about my weight for the most part, but I have to say there are times when I’m checking an outfit out in the mirror and my butt looks pretty damn good (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

38: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Not yet - but it sounds wonderful~

I'm a big nature lover and some camp sex in the middle of the woods somewhere under the stars sounds ungodly romantic!

41: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

I initially thought this might be hard to answer (as in coming up with a single song…after some pondering it’s hard because apparently there’s more than I thought - so have three.

All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You: Heart and/or Halestorm cover

Closer: Nine Inch Nails

Tear You Apart: She Wants Revenge

45: Is there anything you do on the internet that you would not like your significant other to see?

I don't have a s/o as of yet but I’m a really open and honest person if I trust someone (albeit it takes a long time for my to shed my layers for someone - if ever) I would like a s/o to be just as open and honest with me. If they found my tumblr and/or old smutty fanfiction I’d probably be totally embarrassed but not ashamed. We all have kinks!

Other than my dabbles here and my old fanfiction account I’m pretty vanilla in my internet history.

55: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Dante. My name also starts with a “D”. Fun fact; apparently Dante means “enduring” or “lasting” in Italian ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

58: Have you had sex with someone of the same sex?

Nope. Although I admittedly haven’t had any sex - male or female.




59: Have you had sex with more than one person simultaneously?

No. It is a fantasy though, I’m living vicariously through Tumblr and fanfiction because I doubt I’d ever be brave enough to do so.

66: Have you been caught having sex?

No, and I would legitimately probably die if I ever did because most people think I’m super reserved and/or prudish so it’d be a shock to them that I even knew what sex was probably (゜-゜)

68: Do you like wild sex or romantic sex?

I'd say romantic. Not that I wouldn’t be up for wild at certain times I'm really just a big ball of romantic mush.

70: What should a guy first do when about to have sex with you?

Gonna be a broken record here but I need a really deep connection and more importantly trust. I’m still a virgin but I’m not “waiting” for marriage. I’m not religious or old fashion or waiting on my soul mate or someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with (because honestly how common is that these days?) I am however waiting for someone I won't regret and someone who I have absolute trust in and feel comfortable with and love unabashedly.

[sailorgreywolf-legacy]

Legacy - Chapter 33

This time Mexico couldn't help but interrupt. He could not fully control his temper enough to let the story continue. He snapped, "That two faced cunt! He was supposed to keep that letter a secret. I always wondered how you knew. I should have expected as much." Yet again, America seemed very uncomfortable with Mexico's swearing, "Do you have to be so abusive about your brother? I have to live with him, you know." The other responded with a glare and pushed America's hand off his thigh, "That's your fault; you decided to take him in."

The increase in tension was quite obvious. America realized that he should have known better than to bring up Texas. That man was the biggest problem in their relationship. America hurriedly attempted to change the subject, "So, you started working on the revolution as soon as you got back to the Americas?" Mexico was wary of his lover's strategy, "Don't think you're off the hook, Alfred. We will talk about Texas eventually and you will have to explain it to me. In this meantime, yes I did. Diego informed me that there was only one really significant independence movement, which I capitalized on." __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The room was packed from wall to wall with people, but all eyes were on the priest in the middle of the room, who was giving a fiery speech about how the Spanish had no regard for the Mexican people. The man was much older than the last time Mexico had seen him, but the mannerisms made it quite obvious that this was the same Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla that Mexico had met years ago on a pier in Mexico City. It was now perfectly clear why the, then young, Costilla had taken notice of Mexico. Their fates were tied together. It was clear that this aging priest was going to be the one to lead the revolution. The speech he was giving was making Mexico's heart race, it was exactly what he had always wanted to hear someone say. It was like someone was finally putting Mexico's hate for Spain into words.

True, he was focusing on the poor workers, which was a class of people that Mexico had very little regard for. But if they were his path to independence, he would gladly entertain their interests, at least for a while. Mexico had heard of this little underground meeting through Texas, and had chosen to attend to assess the state of the revolution. It was about as strong as he had expected it to be, combined with anti-Spanish sentiment in the upper class; this could become exactly the kind of revolution that would destroy Spain's hold. Once that happened, he could have a real confrontation with Spain, who would undoubtedly try to put down the revolution himself. The speech finished and a few other people said a few words, mostly repeating what had already been said. After that, the meeting was concluded and the room began to clear.

Mexico need not take note of who had been there. If there was anyone important, he had already taken precautions. He had told Philippines to wait outside the door and report who had been here. For his part, Mexico stayed seated. He was waiting for a chance to speak to Costilla again. The chance would present itself if he simply waited. As was expected, soon the only mortal left in the room was the priest. The old man collected up a couple pieces of paper and turned to look around the room. He caught sight of Mexico and the recognition was immediate. He looked completely and utterly shocked, which was to be expected. Regardless, his composure remained relatively intact.

The priest quickly walked over to Mexico and sat down in a chair across from him. Mexico spoke first, "It's been a long time, hasn't it, Miguel?" The mortal was still staring at him incredulously, as though attempting to understand what was happening. The greeting confirmed that he was the same person that he had met years ago. Mexico understood the confusion, he hadn't aged since the last time he met Costilla. The priest finally seemed to come up with a response, "Alejandro, if you had the secret to not aging, you should have told me. I would have liked to have not gotten this old."

At this point, Mexico came to the realization that the entire country concept was going to be hard to explain. He had always taken it for granted. Being born a country somewhat confirmed the existence of countries. But explaining it to a mortal was going to be difficult. He went with what his instincts told him to say, "You know how Joan of Arc said she saw France in human form?" The priest nodded, patiently waiting for Mexico to come to the point, "Yes, in her visions from God." The Aztec boy smirked; mortals could find the strangest things to explain countries. He responded, "Trust me when I say, God had nothing to do with it. I've met Francis, and I'm quite certain there is nothing divine about him."

The mortal seemed to understand at once, which was far better than what Mexico had been expecting. The statement that followed confirmed that Mexico's reasoning had worked. The priest said, "You're saying that all countries have human forms. If that was true, they would be practically immortal." Mexico smirked in response, "I'd think it would be fair to say that we don't appear to age to mortal eyes." The mortal man laughed, having finally understood the importance of the situation, "My God. That is something interesting. Considering what you are, and I think that is pretty clear by now, and the fact that you are here; I can guess what country you are."

There was a moment of dramatic silence, and then Costilla continued to speak, "You are Mexico. You're the country I have been preaching for. Ironic, considering I have already heard your story from your own lips." Mexico leaned forward and said, quite convinced that his point had been made, "It all makes sense now, doesn't it? My story?" The mortal mirrored the movement and leaned forward slightly to reply, "Your overprotective guardian must be Spain, who also has a human form." The Mexican boy spat, "Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. He's as oppressive as he is proud. It is, as you said today, very necessary that he is overthrown." The Aztec boy's tone of voice dropped into the most resentful version of it. He was letting out his feelings about Spain to someone who would sympathize; he didn't need to hide his hate.

That was why he was somewhat surprised when the priest put his hand on Mexico's knee. As it had been last time they were in this position, the gesture was fatherly. In this case, the age difference this time made it seem far more appropriate. The older man spoke very carefully, "Alejandro, I am honored that you are here and understand that your being here means that the revolution I am hoping to create is supported by God, or fate if you prefer, but I am concerned about you. Why do you want your liberty? Is it for yourself or for personal vendetta?" This was a question that Mexico actually wasn't prepared for. He knew that he hated Spain, but at this point, it was so ingrained that he didn't have a clear reason for revolution. He knew the most truthful answer and he knew that he owed the man who was destined to lead the revolution the truth, "Mostly vendetta. Antonio has wronged me time and time again. He has no right to continue his hold on me. I want to make him pay and the revolution will give me the chance."

This seemed to be the answer that the priest feared, judging by the way his facial expression changed. The answer confirmed this, "Revenge is dangerous to the soul. You can't fight for vendetta, it will destroy you spiritually. You need to fight for yourself. You have so much potential as a country, but being tied to an oppressive country like Spain, it is all wasted. You need to think of the future, not the past." Mexico couldn't help but scoff. A priest would naturally be concerned with the morality of revenge. But, Mexico couldn't find himself worried about his soul; he had too many sins on it by now to worry about something like revenge. He kept his response careful, "I will think on that. But even you cannot deny that revenge is warranted." The priest sighed, "I think you may need me to act as your conscious. Yes, you deserve some vengeance, but that is not the reason you should be free. Don't let hate consume you; hate blinds you to morality. It is a devil that whispers in your ear and leads you astray."

The warning, as much as Mexico wanted to disregard it, was uncanny. Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable. Costilla seemed to know more about what his country had been doing lately than he should. Something about the warning about hate rang true. Mexico knew he should have felt ashamed of himself, but the feeling seemed to be absent. Apart from the vague sense of discomfort, he felt nothing. All the same, the fatherly gleam in Costilla's eyes broke some sort of resistance. The Aztec boy put his hand on the older man's hand where it rested on his leg, "Would you still be willing to hear my confession?" The older man simply nodded.

Mexico quickly gave a summarized account of his past sins, and didn't even attempt to explain away any of them. It was amazing how well the other man handled the information. His composure only slipped when Mexico described the way he had seduced France to convince him to invade Spain. For half a second, the priest looked shocked, but he managed to hide the shock relatively quickly. Once Mexico finished speaking, he fully expected an entire sermon about how wrong everything he had been doing was wrong. But, instead, the priest leaned forward and said, using a voice that was very paternal, "I see now that I need to lead this revolution because you need me to guide you. On your own, you go so far astray. Don't use your sexuality as a weapon, that isn't just committing a sin, it's manipulating a deadly sin."

Mexico nodded although he couldn't take that advice. He had no other way to control Spain, or Colombia, for that matter. Using lust as a weapon was essential, and he couldn't give up on it. He was silent for a couple seconds. Costilla gave the boy time to think about what he had just said. The silence stretched on for a couple minutes until the priest said, "I have a sermon to make tomorrow morning, and it is already late. At my age, sleep is more of a necessity than it is for you. I expect to see you again soon. You will always be able to find me at my parish. Think about what I said, you need to let go of your hate." Only at this point did the priest take his hand off of Mexico's leg. Mexico had to get the final word, "Thank you for the council. I needed it. I will be back soon, I need to see how my revolution has been going."

They both stood up at the same time. They parted and walked different directions. Mexico found Philippines still outside of the door where he had told her to be. As they made their way back to Mexico City, she gave him a whole list of the people who had been at the meeting. None of the names struck Mexico as familiar, which meant that none of them were Spanish spies.

Mexico got back to his house in the middle of the night with every intention of going to sleep as soon as possible. It had been a late night, but one well spent. He was convinced that there was no one better to be leading the revolution, the priest actually understood him, and had some strange ability to make him tell the full truth. Here was a man that Mexico could actually follow because he actually cared deeply about the country. He fully expected the house to be dark when he and Philippines got back. However, all the lights in the house seemed to be on, which meant something was happening. It took only a couple seconds to figure out what was going on.

Mexico was barely inside the door before America walked up to him. The blonde was dressed relatively nicely considering he had been traveling. What he was doing here was a mystery to Mexico. Since the last letter, he and America had had very little contact with each other. There was no reason for him to be here, least of all in the middle of the night. The blonde started speaking very quickly, "Alejandro, I don't know what you are thinking, but you really need to reconsider. There is no way you can rebel against Spain. I mean-"Mexico gasped when the other boy brought up revolution. It was impossible for him to know about it, but somehow he did.

He interrupted the blonde's rant, "I don't know how you know about this, but there is no way you are stopping me. You know nothing about Spain. I do. I know exactly what he will do." America responded quickly and didn't actually seem to care about being interrupted the first time, "I know that Spain is controlling, but you can't rebel against him. You just can't!" The American was being exceptionally childish, which could probably be put down to lack of sleep. Mexico had been in a good mood, which was quickly dissipating. He saw the hypocrisy in this whole situation, "How can you tell me not to rebel? You did. Do you think I am not as capable as you?"

This whole confrontation was taking place in the foyer with both Philippines and Texas, which made the entire thing more awkward. America seemed completely oblivious to the audience, "It's not that I don't think you can. I'm just certain that there must be another way. Can't you and Spain talk it out or something?" This statement hit entirely the wrong nerve, Mexico refused to stand here and have America tell him what to do. He wasn't going to talk to Spain. If he did, it would go nowhere. He felt his temper rising and he wasn't going to try and hold it back in front of Alfred, "How dare you? You know nothing about me and Spain. You hardly know me. We have talked twice and exchanged letters once. Don't presume to steer my life when you know nothing about it. Revolution is my only way of getting free. There is no other way."

As he spoke, Mexico took a couple steps forward, which brought him closer to the American, who didn't move at all. The blue eyes looked pained, obviously hurt by Mexico's yelling. America looked directly into the other's golden eyes and said, "You just can't. I don't want you to." The repetition, if anything, just fed Mexico's already ignited temper. The American was daring to tell him what to do and didn't even have the decency to give him a good reason. Mexico said with the last of his control, "Give me one good reason." America looked to be struggling with his thoughts. Quite suddenly he leaned forward and lightly kissed Mexico on the lips. When he pulled away, he said softly, "I don't want you to get hurt."

Mexico's mind from directed anger to free fall. Kissing someone was far from a new experience, but the sudden heat that washed over him certainly was. He desperately hoped he wasn't blushing. He didn't care about Alfred enough for this to be happening, but it was. He hardly heard the words the blonde spoke. America looked proud of himself for a moment, and then he lapsed into being ashamed. He sheepishly added, "Not that I know how you feel about me or –"

Mexico didn't decide on the next action he took, he simply leaned forward and captured the blonde's lips mid-word. The American seemed to melt into the kiss, allowing Mexico to completely dominate. Mexico put his hands on both sides of the blonde's face and took full advantage of his dominance. America was, by far, the worst kisser Mexico had yet to experience. He was hardly doing anything to reciprocate, although it was obvious that he was trying. Even Colombia, at the age of 14, had been better than this. All the same, Mexico didn't want to pull away. He liked it, which was strange. When he finally pulled away, he did so because he needed to breathe.

America's blue eyes were glazed over and his mouth was still slightly open. Mexico took advantage of the momentary silence to say, "I hope that solves your quandary." He didn't let go of the American's face because he liked the contact. America finally managed to say, "You just kissed me." At this point, Mexico realized that the other was slightly in shock, which really worked to his advantage. While America wasn't resisting, Mexico said, "You have to trust that I know what I am doing. Let me have my revolution like you had yours, understand?" The America seemed to admit defeat, "Alright, Alejandro, I trust you. Ease my mind, find an ally, talk to England, he will help you." The Mexican released the America's face as a sign of disapproval. He didn't want to be told what to do, but this was more like advice. Mexico might actually take this advice at some point. He responded, "Fine, I will talk to him. Now get out of my house before I start regretting that kiss."

[kbetolks]

Fic asks! (Answered)

(Original post with questions★)

1. Do you read fic? Do you write fic?

Yes. Since 2008 and 2012, respectively.

2. Favorite genre of fic?

Fluff all the way.

3. Favorite fandom?

That’s hard to say. My relationships with fandoms are always rocky...

4. Favorite pairing?

Writing? Reading? I’d say Ziam.

5. Favorite fic author?

Russelia!

6. Favorite fic (or one of them)?

Just Act Normal, All About Jacob, Let Me Know He Cares, hello kisses sweet as wine, Prince Among Wolves, DILF... had a few others but they were all deleted.

7. One-shots or longfic?

(I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive, but I’ll assume it’s about short fics.)

I love One-shots. Either writing or reading. I used to write a bunch of One-shots for my old fandoms because it’s what works the best when you have too many ideas (and can’t write ALL of them). But lately I’ve been writing mostly long stuff. :/ I do want to go back writing short stuff, though!

8. Do you read WIPs?

I do because I know it’s nice to have some motivation from someone reading your stuff. I don’t expect the person to finish it, though. If they do, great. If they don’t, that’s all right. I understand how hard it is to finish a fic, but I also don’t want to leave unfinished fics (that I wrote) behind.

9. What is the longest fic you’ve read?

That’s not mine? hello kisses sweet as wine.

10. Favorite trope/element/scenario in fic?

Anything that can turn into a fluff fest.

11. Least favorite trope/element/scenario?

Anything with the pairing cheating on each other, or any sort of abuse.

12. What turns you away the most from a fic?

I’m not really exigent, but… weird formatting. If it’s something that reduces readability TOO much, I’ll end up leaving it. (I think in my entire life I’ve only dropped ONE fic. It had like 3 lines of spacing between paragraphs and you had to scroll 10 times to get through one page.) Also sexual assault or anything super depressing/commonly triggering that isn’t expected there.

13. Has a fic ever made you cry?

More than one, actually. Sometimes it’s crying from happiness, others not so much. I remember crying like crazy with “All About Jacob”. I’ll be in my deathbed and remember about that fic before my last breath. I swear!

14. What tropes/elements/scenarios get you the worst?

Best friends to lovers. Also anything with one being a dad. Anything remotely fluffy ends my whole existence TBH.

15. Do you mind when characters cry?

Not really. Unless it’s one I hold close to my heart, I’m usually “There, there. Now on with the story!” or something like that. LMAO!

16. How do you feel about character death in fic?

Sometimes it’s necessary, but I skip those with main character death.

17. Any characters who you can’t stand to see in pain?

All of them. I don’t like seeing any suffering.

18. Favorite angst fic?

The Color of Happiness.

19. Do you read porn or does it make you uncomfortable?

I always avoided it. The only one I really read was “hello kisses sweet as wine” and I was never the same. But after that one I didn’t read any others, so I guess I can’t say I read, because it hasn’t become a habit or preference. (Big words from someone writing a story with mostly explicit porn.)

20. Do you like PWPs?

Nah. But if you put some plot and a bit of romance, I might change my mind.

21. How and when did you get introduced to smut fic? Any horror stories?

It’s hard to say! I’ve known about smut since the  Harry Potter days, but I always skipped the smut bits? I’ve never been big on smut, and I don’t think I have any bad stories to tell. Nothing like anyone using a cucumber or having it off with a motorcycle. LMAO! I’ve seen a post about it on tumblr though. The tags were… horrifying. D:

22. Biggest turn-ons in fic?

Body worship, intense tongue action, and crotch grabbing.

23. Biggest turn-offs in fic?

Any limbs going in anyone.

24. Do you have any dirty kinks that you’re ashamed of?

Nah. I’m pretty vanilla.

25. Any kinks that you’d love to try in real life?

Not really?

26. Any kinks that you don’t want to try in real life (but are still hot in a fanfic)?

Breeding.

27. Rough sex or gentle sex?

♫ I bruise easily so be gentle when you handle me ♪ There’s something magical about scenes with slow love-making, like rhythm and passion. The whole pneumatic drill act might get stuff done, but it’s more for sporadic moments.

28. How do you feel about masturbation in fic?

If they’re up to it, they should go for it.

29. How do you feel about non-con and dub-con?

Not for me. Consent is important and there’s nothing hotter than one of them taking the other’s hand into their trousers, and encourages to go on.

30. Favorite porn fic?

hello kisses sweet as wine (though this one isn’t a PWP and has a hell of an emotional plot). I don’t really know many, like I said. Can I say one of mine? If so, then add “Down the Drain” and “Choices Like Waves”.

31. Do you read AUs?

I almost exclusively read AUs. They’re my drug! :D

32. Favorite AU tropes?

Tough one! There’s very few things I like. Anything with abuse and I’m running to the hills! Other than that, I love pretty much everything an AU can bring. Give me chosen ones in love, entity slayer falls for entity, flatmates that get too intimate too quickly, etc. Anything, really. I love to read AUs because the possibilities are infinite!  :D

33. Least favorite AU tropes?

Anything with some sort of abuse and depressing stuff.

34. Do you like UAs (universe-alterations, when the main universe and characters are the same but one plot point/decision/outcome is altered)?

I never heard of this till now.

35. Do you like high school and college AUs?

Yeah! Not as much as in the past, but I still like them.

36. Do you like crossovers? If so, favorite crossover?

I LOVE crossovers! I’m always a sucker for Pokémon crossovers.

37. How do you feel about parent!fics/lovechildren? How about mpreg?

What? As in the pairing having a kid together? I’m cool with those. I don’t really remember reading mpreg stories TBH. I’ve read one for McFly but it was crack, so it was hardly anything serious! But I won’t bat an eye if you give me them with a kid without a surrogate.

38. How do you feel about genderbending? De-aging? Animalizing?

I H A T E with a burning passion “genderbending” fics that are just an excuse to have some cis heterosexual relationship. Everything in the world is straight. Why the hell do you have to go and take away the little queer people have? Take your hetenormativity and leave! *huffs* If we’re talking about one becoming a kid so when he’s adult again both realise they care for each other, that’s cool. Anything remotely shota is very wrong. Uh, as in one of them being a pet? Well, as long as it doesn’t mean bestiality, okay, I guess?

39. Favorite AU fic?

Every kind of AU TBH. Especially the fantasy/adventure ones. I live for those!

40. Do you like fluff?

*cackles* That’s my shit, son.

41. Favorite fluffy tropes?

Hard to tell. I think I love fluff indiscriminately. LOL! But pretend relationships, sharing the same bed, single dad/childminder, little kid finds dad a boyfriend, oblivious best friends in love, hot new neighbour, ANY kind of meet-cute… I like everything that makes my teeth ROT. I’m not picky.

42. Least favorite fluffy tropes?

I can’t think of any? I’m a fluff lover.

43. Do you like fluff on its own or in conjunction with other elements (angst, sex, etc.)

I love pure fluff. It can have a bunch of the other elements, but fluff on its own is enough for me. And I’m not too keen on angst, porn, etc., so it’s better to add fluff. Fluff is the spice of fics. Watch me choke on a handful of paprika.

44. How fluffy is too fluffy?

45. Favorite fluff fic?

There’s this cute kid fic where Zayn had a daughter and Liam was a Santa at the mall and she asked for Zayn to be happy I guess, and Liam ends up trying his hardest to grant her wish and it’s the SWEETEST thing ever, but I just found out it’s been deleted. :( I really liked that one!