#not all of 40+ year old men but enough that this pattern is vomit inducing

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Kinda disturbing normalization of older men with younger women trope

Yeah, still sick... so I have been doing some watching/ catching up. Have a pretty bad bronchitis thingie where

So I watched Reign, and sometimes I feel super creepy with how history when told inaccurately tends to have the doe-eyed 16 year old seductress (though the actress is usually 20-something) with a 40, or 40 years + man (usually played by a 30 year old or something). And this definitely gives me that squick feel. The pov occasionally feels like it's meant of older men, who want to prey on women, rather than the PoV of teenagers and then I feel like I'm reading the Neil Gaiman accusations. But then they disguise it behind a veil of feminism, which has the odd effect of making it "more OK." because tonally, it never says it is wrong, if anything it seems to make it like it's "more feminist" if a 20 year old goes out with a greying older man, old enough to be her father AND falls in love with him.

The thing is, one show like this isn't that notable, but when the majority of teenage shows I've experienced in my lifetime from the US are like this, I'm like, are you grooming or something? It's as if men have these fantasies about teenagers chasing after them, that it was "more acceptable" in the past, and never raised eyebrows and then foisting those fantasies on teenagers.

Pretty Little Liars, Dawson's Creek, and honestly the majority of the CW line up for teens had something like teenager or college student with usually professor, teacher, or something with a lot of power over the individual, and they often chose the "smart girl" to be the one to fall for this.

And because they couch it in the language of consent and freedom, and feminism's touch it feels really awkward and icky. As if teens "want this" and are in effect being groomed through the repeated fantasies of these 40 year old+ men. And WHY? What purpose does it exactly serve to keep doing this over and over.

I definitely feel it when fantasy liked to pull the She's 16 and he's 40 and the story is written by a ~40+ year old man, but it's a-OK folks because it's just the culture. Say like in "The Daily Life of a Middle-Aged Online Shopper in Another World" a Japanese anime.

You see, it's not wrong that this 39 year old man is failing to set boundaries clearly around 16 year old girls, because it's their culture for them to throw themselves left and right with bouncing boobs and you see, in the world building there are no women around his age, so what is the poor man supposed to do? (I do understand Japanese, so don't throw me, but you don't understand Japanese line) And at that point I'm staring at the author and writer and going what is wrong with you?

I suppose it sounds like, Oh, pro-censorship, etc. But no. I'm questioning the normalization of this and why in particular 40 year old men have this weird fantasy (not all of them, but a fair amount of them) where they feel like they have to sell it directly to people of that age group.

And, BTW, I do object to the whole idea of the US allowing marriage below the age of 18 in any case. (Also Planned Parenthood and the ACLU defending child marriage on thin grounds. ELEW. WTH, dudes, are you having weird ass child marriage fantasies?)

Do we need more Leonardos and Gaimans? Do we need to sell a power imbalance that deep. I don't particularly care, tbh, between an age gap between a 30 and 40 year olds (Though I don't love it). 30 year old knows how the world works, but when you're doing historical or fantasy fiction in order to write a 40+ year old with a 16 year old and "make it OK", I feel ill.

I don't mind historical fiction that asks questions about age gaps and if there is a power imbalance and about the morality of it itself and having that discussion. My exact problem is the repeated, welp, it's OK folks for this really smart student to be power harassed by her teacher, professor, King, richer person, because you see she's really smart, so that makes it OK. Are the hets allos OK here? Are the het men OK that you think a 40 year old man chasing after a 13 or 16 year old needs to be sold as OK to them? Control the tone and your pedophilic fantasies, especially when you're selling your shows to teens. Smells like effing grooming.

I also feel ill when you think 17-year old Katherine Howard was a seductress hussy that was trying to seduce King Henry VIII for the throne of England, who was 49 years old at the time because she wanted him and his power and she was a loose woman. ELEW. ELEW. Also, WTF is wrong with you? Also, she was persecuted for relationships she had prior to meeting King Henry VIII. WTF is wrong with you when you're talking about how justified Henry VIII was for killing her? You are going around calling her a vapid whore. FUCKING SHE'S AT MOST NINETEEN when she dies. You're saying a 13 year old was trying to seduce a 30 year old man in her tutor? ELEW. Did you read Lolita the same way?

Yes, I do get it's the whole clash of patriarchy valuing fertility over everything else trope, but !@# Elew. Are we still at that stage that you need to sell that idea to teens? And that love is about huge power imbalances? Are the straight OK?