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erosofthepen · 4 years ago

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are you out of the closet and if so how did you come out?

Im out to exactly 3 close people i know in real life. My cousin, my sister, and my best friend.

My sister- the first person u came out too, I was really stressed about it and was crying when I told her. She was just like: “it’s all good.” And hugged me and that was that. I never talk to her about it, and she never brings it up.

My best friend- second person I told. I wanted someone to talk to that i knew would be more open to conversation, so we met up at a park and I told her. She had great energy with me, and now she sends me pictures of bent objects or bad parking jobs and says “still straighter than you“. it’s awesome.

My cousin- actually this happened recently, noy even two weeks ago, but the funniest part about it was the conversation we had a LONG time before. We were walking on the beach and I told her how I apparently attracted a lot of girls, and how 2 of them had told me they were crushing on me, and she’s like “Oooo Clara, maybe you should experiment a little” I laughed nervously and was like “No, I’m straight. Yeah I’m straight.” *cue me thinking about the crush I had on the blue haired girl in 7th grade* Anyways two weeks ago, we were walking and talking, I was saying how I’ve gotten a whole lot less insecure and have started noticing a lot more people acting flirty or romantically nervous around me, and how three people have said they liked me in the past four months, but how I’m not ready to get into a relationship. I also said my Dad might not like it if I had a girlfriend either, and she looks at me with an “I told you so“ smile. we then had a long discussion about Christianity and homosexuality, since we’re both Christians and have issues with the modern church and how they have made gay people perceived. It was great.

Now the troubling bits

when I first accepted that I was bi, I got really negative and pessimistic, especially around my parents. I was stupid enough to imply that they would kick me out if they knew the real me and that little comment ended in a talk that was hours long. They ended up keeping me in their room till I truthfully told them what was wrong (I had made up some lies about mental health but they were skeptical), and eventually, i said “I- I have come to the conclusion… that I am… bisexual”. I don’t think I’ll ever forget my dads face. He breathed in really sharply, folded his arms across his chest, and looked up at the ceiling before looking at me again. The conversation took a rly long time after that. Once I saw the direction it was headed, I realized I didn’t want to deal with the struggles that would come with it. i ended up letting them believe that after the talk I realized i wasn’t gay, and they still think I’m straight to this day. And quite honestly, I’m okay with that.

coming out culture has been made super toxic, like if you‘re not out, then your lying, and I think thats a problem. Yes, I’m gay as hell. No, I don’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing about it at this point in my life. I don’t want to deal with the stresses that come with it. maybe someday I will come out firmly to them, but i don’t want too until I am well into my career and out of college. My parents may not ever accept who I love. okay. but also, I know they love me a lot, and I love them, and we’ve always been close. I think that’s another thing that’s toxic about coming out culture. like yes, my parents are homophobic. No that does not mean I will ever stop loving them, and I know they’ll never stop loving me. My parents, as fucked up as it is that they are homophobic, have never spoken slurs or have condemned gay people and said things like “they’re going to hell” or whatever. In fact, my childhood best friend had two moms, and our families would get together and have dinner and hang out. My parents never spoke ill of them, and were just happy that I had a good friend who had good loving parents. My own parents just seem uncomfortable with the fact that their christian daughter is bi. Okay. Maybe one day I’ll tell them and they’ll accept it, maybe they won’t. We still love each other.

this is my own experience and opinion. I don’t want to come out to them officially yet, and am perfectly content with that. Everyone has a different experience and a different family dynamic, so it all depends on your wants, needs, and position. Do what feels best for you, and don’t feel pressured by what people tell you to do.

#bisexual #claraofthepen #asks #anon #tw homophobia

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incorrectcatfacestudios · 5 years ago

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MID Fusion Headcanons

Using steven universe fusion rules alongside some of my own.

There will likely be another post like this one, a part 2

So the rules

Emotions are shared.

Memories are not shared, if one component doesn’t want to share a memory with another then the memory will not be shared.

Abilities gained are formed from both of their personalities

All the colored parts of their clothes change to the components combined colorscheme

They form based off of the characters perceptions of eachother, Making each of Ava’s fusions an ACTUAL POWERFUL SORCERESS

Their powers are multiplied by how much love/compassion each component feels for the other. Thus Noi usually supplies the most power to his fusions. Often new powers are gained.

Starting with Leif and Noi

A risk taker,

DEFINITELY would be an entertainer, would want all attention to be on them at all times. A show off through and through

He would have very fluffy pastel pink hair.

ALWAYS SMILING unless Leif is experiencing fear. Sometimes when one is feeling a negative emotion the other is feeling a positive one, this shows in their facial expressions. So sometimes the smile feels strained, fake, or evil. IF ITS SUPER SERIOUS he will frown

gets SUPER JEALOUS REAL QUICK,and if they are not front and center or if someone else steals the spotlight from them expect Angry crying, and violence! :D

“HEY AVA! DID YOU SEE THAT?!? WASN’T I COOL!!! PLEASE TELL ME I WAS COOL! I mean I ALREADY KNOW I WAS COOL BUT-”

Requires constant validation to feed his EGO.

Flirtier than his components.

BOUNDLESS ENERGY LIKE! WAAAAYY TO MUCH ENERGY

Would dance around the battlefield with their newfound abilities like a performer.

AMAZING AT SWEET-TALKING, and charming others

Far more likely to use healing magic than Leif ever was.

He has a tendency to angry cry.

Would be much stronger at the beginning of the series than he would if they fused in episode 13

His weapons are duel cutlasses

Noi enjoys the confidence boost he gains in the fusion while Leif enjoys the amount of JOY he feels doing things that would normally bore him. He likes seeing things from Noi’s POV.

Can disappear in a cloud of puffy sparkly smoke,

Very flexible, gains dancing skills

Can generate electricity within his body and ZIP ZOOP AROUND

most of his magic is glittery and sparkly

Wears lime green or olive clothing. has green eyes. has lime green horns

So Leif views Noi as a kind hearted lovey dovey fool, while Noi views Leif as a bully and a psychopath, but also a powerful superhero who’s amazing. Hence why when fused they are a kinda mentally unstable performer.

Leif and Rhys

He would never form

BY FAR ONE OF THE WEAKEST OF THE FUSIONS

When first formed he has an impossible time deciding who he is or even staying together. he doesn’t have an identity or a voice.

He Gains one much later as the 2 begin to understand each other more.

Has a scientist surrounded by nature vibe to him. Like instead of metal machines he has ones made completely out of plants. Though he��d only gain this if Rhys and Leif were feeling particularly good about eachother that day. Or if they had a strong positive feeling keeping them together. Otherwise he’d be unable to create or even keep any of it.

So yeah he can make a rocket out of wood, vines, & various other flora and fauna.

He has a variety of high level technology yet all of it is made of wood, plants, or bone.

If exposed to alot of media, and pop culture by the time he forms he would be a MAD SCIENTIST/ MAD DOCTOR character.

Lots of maniacal laughter

If Rhys would permit it he can be quite cruel and preform some....interesting experiments on his enemies

Would be very interested in the world around and would LOVE TO DISSECT THINGS

his glasses turn into goggles

He’d probably have oversized scientist gloves

is likely to scream EURIKA!!!

very forgetful.

Wants to learn as much as he can no matter the situation

when fused Leif experiences the curiosity Rhys feels and Rhys feels Leif’s LUST FOR BLOOD.

Would often find interest in human artifacts and objects finding joy in dissecting them and finding out how they work

has the ability to create unholy amalgamations from destroyed objects or carcasses.

He’d also gain the ability to control the growth of plants around him & manipulate them using the water inside.

Lightbrown/Ginger hair

Wears alot of cyan

Their weapon would be a whip of some kind. or a spear

Studies alot on doctor stuff. wants to get a phd

Has cyan horns like Pierce, though they bend in a way that combines both horns. and are much larger than either components

Asch and Rhys

WOULD HAVE A FLUFFY POMPADOR

Looks like a fucking greaser but their not at all

Always frowning

VERY STRONG despite not seeming like it

Has Dark blue eyes, and periwinkle horns, that curve backwards than forwards

VERY POLITE & regal.

Doesn’t really show much emotion, good at decision making, and a pretty rounded leader. though...their missing something.

Knows when to take action and when to stand down.

Can create smokescreens. manipulate water, fire & Ice

pretty stronk

Asch’s leadership skills and Rhys’s good decision making mix together to create a perfect and rational decision maker.

Has a lighter skin tone than Rhys but a much darker one than Asch.

Probably gains a British accent for the poshness.

Will occasionally raise a hand to threaten you but then close it clenching his fist and continuing to talk

ASCH’S CAPE AND RHYS’S TRENCHCOAT COMBINE TO BECOME A BIG FLOWY CAPE COAT WITH A FLUFFY FUCKING HOOD BECAUSE THAT’S CUTE AF, their torso shirt is grey while they have Asch’s lil sash around their waist, ((it’d be purple)) and Rhys’s pants ((except a tad bit darker)) Rhys’s arm bands would cover Ashe’s bandages.

Wears a lot of PURPLE, like magenta purple.

checks himself out behind closed doors

Adores being together. They just feel right

Everyone goes to them for advice

Ava & Pierce

has a blue scrunchy

LONG FLOWING HAIR

NEVER TALKS EVER, keeps to themselves even more than both of their components.

Would HAVE ENORMOUS HAIR like......WAYYY TOO BIG! and scruffy. and they’d always be leaning on a big old cloud that they’d float on.

Cats. CATS CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Has 2 floating arms hovering around them for petting cats. LIKES FLUFFY

A very caring individual despite their cold standoffish nature

Constantly tired

Seems like they don’t care about anything despite the fact that they do...far more so than anyone else even

Has strong maternal instincts. VERY good with kids. & Loves children far more than either their components.

Will only wake up to pet cats or play with kids.

The child loving part comes from Pierce. Ava notices that Pierce feels this way and encourages it.

Only goes by They/ Them pronouns. Nonbinary

Drinks like 50 cups of coffee a day trying not to pass out.

Needs coffee 24/7 to stay awake cause otherwise they’d just get too comfortable with eachother and dose right off to sleep

Almost always cuddling something soft, weather it be a cloud they conjured up, Johnny, a plushy, Noi, whatever if its a soft and cuddly thing you can bet your ass that its in their arms.

Wears a mix of Ava’s pajama’s and Pierces Human Disguise. in Blue. That or a cat onesie

Their not that bright but not that dumb either

Ava enjoys this fusion because she gets to feel tall.

They care for themselves. and take care to make sure they don’t get hurt.

A very deep thinker, that likes to take their time in situations. VERY CREATIVE.

stoic af

Their also very blunt and if annoyed will tell you “Your annoying. Go away” in a very sleepy slow manner.

Tired af 24/7 doesn’t want to deal with anyones bullshit. EVER

VERY POWERFUL

When they sleep ((on a certain bed)) a giant forcefeild forms around them and a cloud gaurdian of sorts forms around it fighting for them as they dose off.

Their weapon is a bed.

The components feel this since of peace when together. While they do close off more they also just...enjoy eachothers company in silence. Expect long sessions of meditation from them . or just casual reading.

They feel....very at peace and relaxed when together and hate being interrupted

has purple eye’s. & Deep blue horns

Pierce & Rhys

If exposed to enough pop culture by the time they fuse I feel like they would have a cop aesthetic.

“You haven’t been causing any trouble now have you?”

Is always watching. Has new abilities to help him watch & keep the peace.

Alot quieter than Rhys, but also like....more talkative then Pierce

VERY STERN. and WILL stare you down

An intelligent man, of course even smarter than Rhys.

CAN MAKE HAILSTORMS

can produce snow out of nothing.

Wears Sky blue.

Will often study others with compassion.

VERY MUCH LIKE A DAD

May or may not make dad jokes

HAS VERY STRONG OPINIONS OF ASCH ((They really like him))

He has light mocha skin, Fluffy curly brown hair done in a ponytail, Dark Turquoise eyes , Dark Turquoise horns that curve backwards than away from eachother, and a fake mustache. No one knows where the mustache came from but its detachable!

DON’T SNATCH THE STACHE!!! They will lay down the law on you

The way they speak when they first fuse and when they later fuse are Pretty different

For the Original Incarnation“ You wouldn’t be planning on violating the RULES that our gracious prince has set for us RIGHT 𝙇𝙀𝙄𝙁”

And for the 2nd incarnation they’d talk more like a T.V. show cop in certain situations. Though they’d still somehow manage to maintain this level of elegance despite it. (Mostly shown through his movements and tone))

“ Roger that! Don’t worry Mrs. P I’ll take this troublemaker off your hands.” *Looks towards Leif “ HOW DARE YOU RAISE YOUR WEAPON TO A DEFENSELESS LADY !?! I wrecken your in for a day in the SLAMMER”

The slammer is just an ice prison Rhys makes while in this fusion.

Instead of a Cop at first the fusion would be a of a VERY POMPOUS knight. Like chivalry incarnate. Proper, Polite, Dashing, Kind, & Loyal these Traits would carry onto its cop incarnate

Their weapon is originally a sword with a magical crystal in the center but as they learn more about human culture it would change to a gun

doubles down on watching literally everyone and IS ALL UP IN YOUR BUSINESS.

This fusion basically says whatever it wants cause no one really knows whats going on in Pierces head and Rhys can just blame it on him without him actively caring about it, because he doesn’t.

Another ability other than creating snow and hail would be making floating ice crystals that can be used as a “camera” of sorts. He can use them to keep a watch on the others

Ava & Noi

One of the strongest of the fusions ((mostly due to Noi))

Nonbinary goes by She / her, they / them

because Noi views Ava as this powerful sorceress they BECOME a powerful magic user, and Ava Views noi as this mystical demon dude from dimension so as a result their fusion is this magical girl/boy/NB

Wears red and has red eyes, with orange horns.

Magical girl / Nonbinary aesthetic.

Noi’s earnsty affects Ava in a way that causes her to be more honest. thus making the fusion very earnest in affection.

They have a strong since of justice and a want to protect. out of love

Noi once again his honesty affects Ava in a way that makes her more transparent./loving

Enjoys life to the fullest and having fun, as long as its not something stupid.

Quite literally loves themselfs....onesidedly its complicated. But they do enjoy themselves and rarely ever put themselves down.

Their weapon is Noi’s daggers mixed with Ava’s phone or a toy she has laying around

Can shoots out sparkles, rainbows, & various other magical girl esque attacks and has to call out their attacks to use them.

All of their magic is magic Noi has never seen or heard of before. but they are ones Ava’s seen in anime or T.V shows. Magical girl shows.

They’d try to surround themselves with friends and people who like them and kind of be an attention whore.

Probably the most outwardly friendly of the fusions

Would love getting headpats

Would also definitely wear many different aesthetic cat ears and post them all over insta.

Tries to act cutsie wootsie for attention. sometimes feigns innocence to gain popularity

Noi & Asch

A COMPLETE BRAT, brings out all the negative traits from eachother.

EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL AND BAD AT HIDING IT

Tries to act cool and together but really just a mess.

They’d look like a really big imposing scary looking yet upset and almost crying clown?

Self loathing x 10

“I-I’m NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING!! MYEEEEEEEEEH”

Extremely passionate and LOVES hugging everything when happy and angrily screaming at everyone when mad. they are a literal ticking time bomb of emotions. Though just because he loves it doesn’t mean he WILL hug he just likes doing it even if he doesn’t like to admit it . and will if emotional/impulsive enough at that moment in time, after which he will play it off and try to make up an excuse.

Clumsy AF.

Tends to get super jealous and wants to be a part of EVERYTHING

Acts like a really proud child.

Throws temper tantrums when they don’t get their way

due to Noi’s more open attitude towards feelings and Asch’s intense emotions that he often keeps bottled up. They feel the full FORCE of both, All whilst trying to act like nothings wrong.

He kind of hates himself but at the same time kinda doesn’t ? its complicated.

EXTREMELY LOW SELF ESTEEM

Wears orange, has light brown spiky hair, and light yellowy orange hair. His eyes are brown

Their powers also go off like an explosion. Usually his attacks are far weaker than either Noi or Asches. and they have lower stamina as well. Their powers build up and up inside of them until it bursts out. When they burst they do massive damage to pretty much everyone around them. Friend or foe. Its like a combustion of magic. Firey sparks and explosions in all directions.

Their powers are linked to their emotions though the larger their emotional outbreak, and the more they let out the stronger the attack.

Their weapon is a bunch of explosive bowling pins. that they juggle around.

Leif & Asch

Extremely likely to stab someone

Wears ALOT of gold. his hair turns a dusty grey color and his eyes are a dark teal. His horns become a golden yellow, The only pops of color on him besides gold and black are red & Green but only in gemstones.

Values himself above all else

ALWAYS SCREAMING

Expect 10 times the villainous monologues

“YOU WILL BOW BENEATH ME “

Loves showing their power through extremely violent means.

Asch’s wrath and Leif’s crazy mix in a way that is just incredibly hostile to literally everyone.

PRONE TO VIOLENT OUTBURSTS

Hates being bothered

“LEAVE ME ALONE! “ “ KNEEL PEASENT” “ HAHAHAHAAHAHAA YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME?!?! HAHAHAHAHA! Stand down human. It’ll be easier that way. “

has Asch’s condescending attitude.

Loves nothing more than bullying others and just making people feel bad.

Also loves taking selfies. Like...too much. Has a tendancy to stare in the mirror for elongated periods of time admiring his muscles.

Hates being ignored. Like many of the other fusions. this one gets the MOST pissy about it though

Feels like everything in the world belongs to him and that he deserves it, fuck anyone who disagree’s I’ll just blow their heads off with my fire magic.

Complimenting him and feeding his ego is the only way to stop his violence. Depending on how you do it that is. Like complimenting his strength could make things worse

has NO PATIENCE WHATSOEVER

LAVA. They can create LAVA together. They melt them bitches down to Asch.

Ava and Asch

RAMPID CURSER

Ava’s salt mixed with Asches wrath. THEY ARE VERY ANGRY AND PISSY 24/7

Kinda thotty. but also not? its complicated. Maybe forward would be the best way to put it

Lies constantly. Its never ending. Like they lie to everyone their friends, their enemies, their family, themselves.

Will eat food off the floor.

They are extremely rude and foul mouthed. They never seem to get along well with anyone and are prone to making death threats when annoyed. They never follow through with them of course but.

One of the few ava fusions to fuse both of their regular attires together. a Reddish pink shoulderless jacket with a cape at the back. They have a FLUFFY light pink hood, and their pants are poofy towards the end with black and pink stripes. They also have asch’s arm sleeve thingy.

grows impatient REAL quick and is prone to use deadly force...well pseudo deadly force when angered

Like stabbing

Literally pissed, annoyed, or tired 24/7

Loves being in control of everything

In battle they constantly taunt their opponents. Using a disturbing variety of swearwords & unique Self-esteem breaking insults.

Wears ALOT of pink. Has red eyes however. but their outfit is just a bunch of pinks and blacks.

Nonbinary goes by he/him they/them

The other 7 will be in part 2 I need time have to think of them. I’ll add more later!

#Aphmau #My Inner Demons #Ava #Asch #Rhys #Leif #Pierce #Noi #Fusions #Aphmau Fusions #Headcanons #MID #MID FUSION HEADCANONS #Fusion HCS

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angelicichor · 4 years ago

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What kind of relationships does your oc have with the rest of Dorohedoro cast?

Oh... Oh God, this will be a bit long so I’ll make it a “read more”, but here we go (Please remember that I’ve only watched the anime! If someone’s not mentioned it means she wouldn’t know them.):

13 - Doesn’t know him personally, but has caught a glimpse of him during one of her VERY rare visits to The Hole and loved his jacket.

Chidaruma - Saying that she hates his guts would be an understatement, but to put it simply - she doesn’t appreciate him much.

Ebisu - They only really interact if Ebisu comes around with Fujita or during the Blue Night, she likes her air-headed nature, but doesn’t have a strong opinion otherwise. Ebisu thinks she’s okay, too.

En - En doesn’t care much for her personality, but her ability is interesting to him and he’d like to have it under his wings, so it could be utilized properly. She’s scared shitless of him. They’d have a kind of “weird uncle”-”scared niece” kinda relationship, where both try to warm up to eachother, but by HELL is it AWKWARD.

Fujita - She bullies him, a lot, but in a loving manner. If she was looking for one, she’d make him her partner at a Blue Night Festival, but again, she isn’t really interested in that. Plus that position was usually occupied by Matsumura and now she can see that Ebisu is interested. He owes her his life and is all too aware of that. Since she’s older than him (She’s 21, he’s 18) they have more of a sibling relationship.

Matsumura - Never spoke to him much, but got sad when he died. That just meant Fujita would get heartbroken.

Jonson - Saw him ONCE during her time in The Hole. Cried in fear. “Fuck bugs.”

Kaiman - Only heard about him from Fujita and from Noi and Shin. She hasn’t met him (yet), but for now her opinion is rather negative.

Kasukabe - He gives her the WORST vibe, but Shin owes him his life, so she won’t speak ill of him. She thinks he acts too nice for someone so smart, so she keeps her distance. Met him personally while visiting Shin that one time, after En made Nikaido his partner. She doesn’t like intruding on the family’s business, so she didn’t say anything.

Kikurage - “...but why is it so ugly?” - words she’s too scared to say out loud.

Nikaido - Noi says she’s a good fighter. En’s partner.

Noi - Thought she was a man at first, because of the track suit, but got awestruck the second Noi took off her mask. Has the fattest fucking crush on her and whenever they get to fight alongside eachother, she freezes, just watching her beat the living shit out of people and being worryingly excited about it. Noi is the second most respected character for her. She admires her power, but also character and devotion to the people she loves. A lot of people with her power would’ve just turned to medicine or scamming people, but she shaped herself up to be an amazing fighter. 666/10, would let Noi break her spine any time.

Risu - Actually ran into him a few times back in the past. Usually in stores and saw a few of his outbursts. She doesn’t think bad of him, but then again she doesn’t know anything about his connection to Kaiman or anything like that.

Shin - He’s the person she respects the most and gets most bashful around. It’s a story I’ll never write out, but I imagine that the first time she met Shin was during one of the common occurrences of someone getting bitchy about a product they bought. Another asshole getting pissy over a woman that rejected him, even though he bought an expensive ring. It was an usually common thing, except this time the guy was getting physical. It didn’t last long, though, since all it took to stop the noise was one swift hit from Shin to knock the guy out and probably cause him major brain damage. She likes to act unbothered by most acts of violence in the Realm, but a girl can’t help but get a little flustered when a huge man knocks out an asshole for her. The magic was quickly broken when he mentioned that En had sent him to order another untastefulness statue of himself. “Boss wanted something red, ruby or... carnelian was it? Don’t know... He’ll pay you once you’re done... geez, doesn’t he have guys like Fujita to handle things like this?” He left quickly after, but she spent the rest of the day thinking about the scene she witnessed and giggling like an idiot, imagining the dumbest little scenarios with a guy whose name she didn’t even know. When they actually got to hang out a bit she learned to just chill around him and Noi, but if either one of them gets too close, she panics like the Bisexual disaster she is. We’re talking full on red beet face here, folks. Still, while she WOULD agree to a training fight with Noi, she’d NEVER allow Shin to fight her. He gets too serious too quickly and the one time she DID let him fight her she hot her hand smashed off. No thanks!

#virgo talks #dhd oc

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