#nor been able to find it
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so in HoO we get a totally unaddressed thing about the Hephaestus cabin apparently have an underground tunnel system beneath their cabin that they’ve been excavating for almost a century and haven’t found the end to yet. We never hear about this again. But when Jake Mason is explaining it, he jokes to Will Solace that “You Apollo guys can’t have all the fun,” which implies the Apollo cabin also has secrets.
Anyways I think we should just start headcanoning random wild secret areas of each cabin just for fun.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#riordanverse#why did we just move on from the massive underground tunnel system under cabin 9 apparently unrelated to the maze. what. hello.#like no no no. go back. tell me more.#IS it related to the maze?#were there two entrances to the maze in chb? one in cabin 9 and one in the woods?#anyways my hc is that cabin 7 has a secret DDR machine#the other cabins know OF it but theyve never been able to confirm or deny if it's real (it is)#nor been able to find it#i also hc that cabin 10 has multiple bathrooms and they just dont tell anybody#every other cabin has like maybe one bathroom and then the shared outdoor ones#except for cabin 13 which when Nico renovated he totally went ''fuck it. 3 bathrooms. who's gonna stop me''#cause i firmly believe nico renovated cabin 13 to be a decently sized cabin but also just A Normal House#so both him and hazel get their own bathrooms and then theres a guest one#i have too many very specific headcanons about the layouts of each cabin
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she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩
#we're so back baby#i think i'm finallyyyy through the worst of this awful depression i've been in for the past like. month and a half#i mean i woke up this morning and thought ''the sun is so beautiful'' so i think i'm good for now fjksjds#which is great because there's some heavy stuff coming up that i just couldn't handle in that mental state#so i'm hoping i'll be able to move things along a little quicker#but also i might be getting a job in retail against my better judgement so who knows#i've never actually worked in retail... i've done food service and i was a cashier at a pop up shop but nothing like an actual store#but i seriously can't find a job with my degree nor can i even find a desk job. so i'm. man. it's rough out here#i might have to move. but with what money?? lmao the eternal dilemma#SORRY this is a whole diary entry#i hope you guys are well 💖
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ngl i do find rewrites of double exposure vastly intriguing ( and want to do one myself ) but the moment people make a huge point of removing amanda and vinh as love interests i immediately lose steam lol. where’s your whimsy … every lis game has romance and max is not some sort of nun character, who is known for putting her feelings aside for the sake of a case. after all, while the world as she knows it is ending, max writes this in her journal about warren and chloe :
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like!! she would kiss amanda and vinh!! she would!! max is impulsive and feels things for the people she cares for very, very strongly and i feel like erasing her canon love interests in a genuine rewrite of the game is sort of a null point. no, max wouldn’t think through the logistics of kissing two people while investigating the murder of her best friend. no, max wouldn’t abstain from indulging herself in something she genuinely wants just because she’s sad or busy. idk. double exposure desperately needs a rewrite but the second you write max as someone who’s ‘above’ love affairs i shake my head in disagreement. there’s a difference between including love interests and then allowing the player to have max not romance anyone versus forcing her and the player to not romance anyone at all.
#my posts.#this is not a vague or anything its just something i notice a lot and get irked by lol#you do not have to romance vinh OR amanda to begin with. you can friendzone both just like in every other lis game.#and in general i find it so weird that everyone and their mother says double exposure would be better without love interests#like i understand being burned about the breakup ( IF you get that ) but idk#the way people talk about max and having other love interests has always been very vicious#while people can accept that chloe can love multiple people and still love max#people have a hard time seeing max love multiple people and still be able to love chloe#i truly just get bad vibes from the insistence that max shouldn’t have love interests who aren’t chloe … like idk … i think she’s allowed?#i think max has every right to move on and that she’s allowed to mess around as she deems fit#what’s REALLY baffling is that neither amanda nor vinh are like. permanent.#both relationships with them are up in the air at the end of the game#you could have max kiss amanda and agree with her that they wouldn’t work#or have max kiss vinh and decide they shouldn’t pursue it for a similar reason#it isn’t like max becomes officially partnered to either romance option at the end of the game#she is still single? and there are still choices to be made?#idk idk. how people treat the existence of vinh and amanda bug me deeply.#and how people treat max having the nerve to be into anyone but chloe ( or warren ig? ) also bugs me deeply#let my girl live and let her be her disastrous bisexual self who kisses people impulsively at the WORST time bc. well. she wants to#anyway. yeah <3
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hm. unfortunately i am still bitter about the ed school professor who knocked points off a paper where i demonstrated i’d gotten a student to improve hugely in comprehension & retention because i didn’t tailor my intervention to her “learning style” and then gave me a better grade on the next paper because i did some bullshit in that domain even though the student did worse.
#i think i was a pretty bad teacher but i also think that like#most of my interactions with the ed world were in situations such that#the specific value add i personally might have been able to bring#was not really something i could make actionable (nor was i taught for the most part how to take action on it)#with a few exceptions i could not find a way to make it matter that i am in fact very smart and a sharp analytical thinker#and there are ways in which that was my fault but also ways in which it really wasn’t!#which is truly wild when you think about the fact that the world i am talking about is: Literally Schools
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those posts about having boundaries with internet strangers rly resonate not because anything serious has ever happened to me but bc several years ago someone who followed me DM'd me a picture of a mildly homophobic hxh youtube screenshot and made it into a different and equally unfunny joke and expected me to laugh along and I didn't know how to politely extricate myself from that situation while communicating 'please do not contact me in this way again' so I typed back something like 'haha' and then immediately set my DM's to allow only people I follow to message me where it has been ever since. perhaps not the ideal way to handle the situation in hindsight but I really cannot communicate how uninterested I am in being contacted by complete strangers in this way. I am simply not equipped for any of that and would prefer to entirely avoid it
#there was also someone who sent me pages and pages of their original work#unsolicited and out of the blue. and I felt rly bad but I just didn't have the time nor inclination to read through it all#I do not know what precipitated it and I still find myself astonished at the shit mildly well-known bloggers get sent. like that is a perso#they have their own lives they're not here to entertain strangers on the internet...#and I try not to be a cruel or generally negative presence on here but I also have never opened myself up for venting or anything like that#it's not what I'm here for and I wouldn't be able to stand it#its hard tho I do want everyone out there to be listened to and supported esp since so many are young :(#this does not apply if we're already friends! you can come to me whenever with stuff and I will glady listen!! because we already#have a connection!!!#but nothing exasperates me more than someone just showing up like 'can we be friends?' well like what are you proposing?#I like to chat...to bitch...I like media and creatures...etc#no conclusion. it's 4:30 am. I have been awake for...20 hours. oh hm not bad actually#cor.txt
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the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.
Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho
#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and#either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs)#and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me#but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis#where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom#and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal''#or play them as less important than they were#or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal!#things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine#idk if she'll be able to talk about all those#because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive#my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have#and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend#and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it#i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom#and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me#but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that)#like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis#not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think#so like it's not relevant#but i am anxious about it nonetheless#angel talks#personal#idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void#dkfjhgdfg
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everybody hates funko pop figures until their obscure blorbo with no merch gets a funko pop figure
anyway CASS CAIN AND STEPHANIE BROWN FIGURES
#it’s funny bc as overrepresented as the batfam is in fandom neither steph nor cass ever get merch#also clownhunter AND duke thomas AND luke fox???#truly a win for people who like batfam characters other than the male robins + the redheads#not that kate gets nearly as much as babs granted but i’ve been able to actually FIND merch for her occasionally#not so for steph or cass
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)
#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately#mostly our relationship with our step father#there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did#i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness#that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account#I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time#maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms#but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.
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You know. Sometimes you can just tell when God has put people in your life on purpose to show or teach you something.
My robotics teacher is a very, very compassionate, gentle Christian man, and very much persuing Jesus. And he is very understanding when my chronic condition effects my ability to attend class- perhaps likely due to his wife also having a condition like mine, perhaps due to the fact that he is just a very kindhearted person. (Luckily, I am able to do the majority of the class online, so it hasn't effected my grades).
There is also a young Christian man/late teen in my class as well who is also just such a big sweetheart. Very meek, very gentle, very smart. Also very much persuing Jesus.
I just very much admire it. My exposure to Christian men for the past 6 years has been predominantly my brother, which...well if you read my personal posts then we know how that has been going lol. I really appriciate being able to see...the variety, I guess. The ability to be able to speak to these people and not feel as if I am being spoken down too, and instead actually listened too. And the fact that they are christian men feels very healing.
#My brother tries. I see that he tries I see how hard he tries.#But I do not click with him nor have I been able to be receptive to what he says#There is so much senseless nitpicking its draining.#And if it works for him and his wife then you know what that is good for them I am happy for them#But there are other people. Other Christians. Other men other women and other family#out here in the world that are just like a soothing balm to my brain and heart after all of this#I can keep my brother in my life (at an emotional distance) and find other people I click better with#Those people exist#I feel like I forgot that they exist#Because I had none I was able to interact with and see actually existing in a way that. Clicked in my head.#Gentle Christian men you are treasures and I value your existence a lot#personal#merkerler speaks
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honestly, I don’t think that the Isu are a big bad scary race, they’re just scared people going through shit the same way the humans do. like the Isu are a varied and connected group of people that got drastically smaller after the virus hit and their way of viewing humans changed once it was abundantly clear that they weren’t gong to make it out of that situation without them
Juno is a very smart person, like she’s intelligent, but she’s also so fucking stupid. I mean that both in canon and the rewrite. in canon she’s more stupid bc she manages to pull off grand plans and still somehow fumble the bag via knife to the neck. and that’s it.
rewrite Juno is an idiot bc she’s got this idea that the isu are better than humans to hide the fact that it terrifies her to think that they’re the reason she’s still alive, they’re the reason she even draws breath. she never really interacted with them before everything happened and now she must live with the understanding that her body isn’t her own bc if she still had all of her original parts, she’d most likely be very very dead, no matter how smart she is.
so she gives Adam and Eve technology that they shouldn’t have, lets them see things that Minerva and Jupiter specifically tried to reword their ways around to make them sound better. she needs that validation, not from her other isu and colleagues, but Adam and Eve. two people who knew nothing of the situation and don’t need to know everything, but need to come back humbled. she needs them to validate her beliefs about humans because it’s all she has left of her nostalgic memories of living in fantastic cities and light travel, that was overrun by the virus that spread and clung to skin, thick in the air.
those same grand cities crumbling around them as she and other scientists of both races risked everything in a gamble to find some solution, anything that would keep them from being wiped out.
Juno is an idiot in the rewrite because she clings to her memories of when ‘times were better’ and this ends up being the reason that Adam and Eve ever find out about the experimentation and treatment of humans. her own ego is what ultimately leads to the Human-Isu war, but due to the fact that no one ever passed down that information, nor was it something seen as important, it’s a fact that’s largely forgotten
#Assassin's Creed#assassins creed#assassin's creed rewrite#ac juno#juno#also i mentioned Desmond in that last post but rest assured at this point in time#that shard has no sentience#nor does the second recording device#it only has a set amount of functions and abilities and can't operate outside the predefined parameters#and the only real 'convincing' that it did was basically say that without these two devices#you wouldn't be able to find further information about what has been pre-recorded#also i wonder if anyone else noticed that other thing i mentioned....?#bah
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Children of War: visual similarities between 1939s Poland and modern-day Palestine
[pic 1] Ryszard Pajewski in the ruins of Warsaw September 1939, source: Julien Bryan [pic 2] Children were left traumatised, source: Getty [pic 3] Defense of Warsaw in September 1939. Two boys read the Polish edition of the Sunday supplement with Mickey Mouse, standing among the ruins of Warsaw, source: Julien Bryan [pic 4] Children look at their destroyed homes in Rafah city, in the southern Gaza Strip, source: UNICEF/Eyad El Baba [pic 5] The inhabitants of the Praga district of Warsaw amid the devastation in September 1939, source: Julien Bryan [pic 6] Palestinian children cook a meal among tents for displaced people while Israel's attacks on Gaza continue, source: Abed Zagout/Anadolu Agency [pic 7] A girl holding her dog, 8 Żelazna Street, Warsaw, Poland, 5 Sep 1939, source: Julien Bryan [pic 8] A five-year-old boy holds up his cat amidst the wreckage of his home in Gaza, source: UNICEF/Mohammad Ajjou [pic 9] Two Polish mothers pose with their newborn infants during the siege of Warsaw, September 1939, source: Julien Bryan [pic 10] The United Nations Children's Fund estimates about 180 babies are being born in Gaza each day, source: Reuters/Mohammed Salem
#i don't really want to add any 'proper' tags as this is more for me than anyone else#idk i saw a picture of poland during wwii and it reminded me of palestine. so i needed to compile these images together...#mainly for my own sense of reality. it felt grounding in a way- numbers can go over my head at times but images stay with me#i think most people are aware of the numbers of how many children have been murdered in gaza. but i feel there's an diff impact when we see#their faces and what they're going through. especially when the imagery is so similar to what the children of poland went through during#the siege of warsaw#... a part of me had wished that i wouldn't be able to find any visual similarities... but alas my hopes were redundant. if anything i#found more than what i decided to share.#i feel weird sharing the images of the palestinian kids bc they're or their families are still alive and i feel uncomfortable sharing their#pics around the internet- having said that it felt important to remind ppl that we have seen this all before and yet it is still happening.#genocide is genocide no matter who it happens to. no matter the propaganda nor the misconstrued retelling of history. genocide is genocide.#almost an entire generation of palestinian children have either been murdered or are forever traumatised.#i don't think we comprehend (yet) the ramifications of what this will do to future generations
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i think i finally have to admit to myself they discontinued the dragon fruit red bull
#why does this always happen to meeeee. the cranberry was my everything and they did that to it too#bc neither my dad nor i have been able to find it anywhere#there's like one singular thing in walmart that has it but i haven't been out lately to check
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I have been waiting my whole life for someone to ask me this(and to read about the favorites of others)
tell me about your favourite transformer, and maybe why you like them so much? or what's your favourite continuity?
#I love Minimus Ambus/Ultra Magnus. He is actually a tapeworm in my brain#He gives me galaxy brained thoughts#he spent his entire life in someones shadow(even HIS OWN??) like being a beastformer/wearing outer armor. Then he gets the opportunity to#then he gets the opportunity to help keep people safe(taking on the title of Ultra Magnus) and he just abandons EVERYTHING#he looses his name#his brother. his identity. and he just does that for thousands of years with no breaks nor holidays#and when he joins the lost light#despite the fact all of that previous stuff has clearly messed him up he IS READY TO DO IT AGAIN. FOR HOWEVER LONG HE NEEDS TO KEEP HIS#CREW SAFE.#he is cold. calculated. undefeated. hardened. he writes fanfiction about sprinkalors(however you spell that word)#he was the lawyer for the number 1 war criminal. he has never had a drink before.#he just cares about the people around him despite everything he has been through#and I find that heartwarming and refreshing#ALSO#the writers really went “kill the big guy. it is okay though. he is actually a smaller guy. now kill the smaller guy. it is okay though.#he is actually an even smaller guy.“(also#sorry if this is incomprehensible#it is hard to write in tags and not be able to edit them#he is always ready to abandon everything for others. and that is.??#his main like enemy for his entire career as Magnus(Megatron) is this exact same person that influenced him to be himself??
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also had a thought related to pax's own death -- he did, in fact, try to contact ocato when the battle was lost. to ask for help. at some point, pax was stuck by an arrow laced with magicka poison that nullified his magic. him being a grand marshal of the legions, he had a sending crystal of sorts which would cast a projection of himself through another crystal it was bound to. it had been placed in the council meeting hall in the event he was unable to reach the palace but his attendance was still mandatory. ocato waited in the hall for news or request for aid, but pax never did. or, at least, ocato thought this was the case. surus, pax's uncle and fellow member of the elder council, convinced ocato to leave and get some rest. he had been fretting over it for days, after all. surus offered to watch it for updates. pax mustered what he could of his magic and connected with the other crystal. in the chaos, he was able to plead for aid - they were overwhelmed, send reinforcements from the nearest garrison. pax could see his uncle sitting in a chair facing the projection. heard him saying something. the poison overwhelmed his magic and the connection ended. help never came.
#❪ ⋅ ✹ ⋆ —┊ ❛ study. ❜ ❫#❪ ⋅ ✹ ⋆ —┊ ❛ ooc. ❜ ❫#( ahhhh. pax still never. connects surus to the murder of his parents via funding the bandits and then the reason for help never coming )#( surus found a way to get rid of pax and took it )#( he lived in fear of pax finding out )#( good thing ( for him ) his nephew is a bit dense (( affectionate )) )#( anyways anyways -- IF surus had actually relayed the message )#( ocato would've used a crystal that connected him to the closest garrison to mobilize their men )#( they. would've been able to reach him. )#( pax nor his men were killed immediately )#( they were held captive for days while the ritual was prepared )#( pax only having a crystal in the imperial palace was a bit of an oversight )#( he was meant to have one which also connected him to each city but said crystals were rare and expensive )#( with so much going towards rebuilding -- it wasnt a huge priority at the time )
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You had never seen him look so utterly human before
Laid up amongst the scratchy, thin sheets of the hospital bed, with only a plain surgical mask covering the bottom half of his face, everything else above Ghost’s shoulders exposed to your eyes for the first time, while his own eyes have been shut for nearly four days straight now
You had never seen your Lieutenant without the signature mask that haunts the dreams of even the deadliest foreign mercenaries, had never seen him look anything less than intimidating, commanding, powerful without so much as even trying to, his presence alone striking fear into those who’ve heard whispers of the fearsome Ghost
Now however, with an IV hooked up to his arm and a nurse that comes to check on his vitals periodically, it’s hard to picture him as such a gruesome soldier, rather than a simple man who bleeds like any other human
In spite of the evident vulnerable position he finds himself in, his pale skin appearing nearly translucent under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital, there was no denying that Ghost remained someone to be feared
A particularly nasty blow to the head during a field op gone wrong had knocked the burly soldier out cold, and though doctors were optimistic he would make a full recovery, they couldn’t exactly tell the extent of the damage done until he woke up
You and the men that made up the remainder of the 141 had been taking turns remaining by his side, not wanting for Ghost to wake up alone, whenever that would be exactly
You wonder how he would feel about this, the fact that you are currently the one on shift for the unofficial rotation of visitors who’ve stuck by his bedside throughout his injury
You’re well aware of the fact that the Lieutenant doesn’t like you, has never liked you, and probably never will, though you’ve never been able to get a straight answer as to why
From the moment you’d met him, he’d been cold to you, distant, making no effort to get to know you nor welcome you to the team, opposite to the way the Sergeants and Captain had welcomed you with open arms and hearts
No matter how much you poked and prodded at them for an answer, some sort of inclination as to what you could possible have done wrong to have Ghost dislike you so much, the men always bit their tongues
You saw the way they exchanged knowing glances and sly smirks, believing they were being more cunning than they really were, insisting to you with carefully chosen words that it wasn’t something you should worry about too much, that the LT had a different way of expressing his feelings than most
���So long as he doesn’t wake up and want to ‘express his feelings’ by punching me in the face for being the first thing he opens his eyes to.” You thought to yourself, glancing up from your book at his still sleeping form, shaking your head at your silly thought
No, he’d never been particularly kind to you, but he’d also never gone out of his way to be cruel to you either you supposed
Perhaps he found you to be more of a nuisance than anything else, a pest he couldn’t seem to swat away hard enough, an annoying pimple he couldn’t quite pop
Your eyes scanned over his face once more, cursing whatever Gods might be listening that the man hiding beneath that Ghost facade had to be so … intriguing
You could see old scars running across his face, some of them peeking out from under the surgical mask while others ran across his brow, his crooked nose evident even under the fabric of the mask
He was handsome in his own, rugged way, a fact you were displeased to learn when you first saw him laying here, switching off with Soap who’d been sat at his side earlier
Ghost may not care for you, not that he had given you many reasons or chances to care for him, but you cared about your remaining members of the task force, and knew how important Ghost was to them, and so for the 141, you’d do your duty and care for a Ghost who apparently wanted no such love and tenderness from you
You looked the large man over, brows furrowing when your eyes landed on his neck, noting that the pillow supporting his head was getting a little flat
You stood from your chair, setting your book down, and approched him carefully, almost as though any sudden movements would somehow wake the comatose man from his slumber
As gently as you could, you attempted to adjust the pillow behind him to hopefully be more comfortable, quickly realizing just how heavy he was when he was nothing more than dead weight
You slowly slipped your hands behind his shoulders, pulling him forward as best as you could until you were able to adjust the pillow one handed
Slipping your hands back down his shoulders to ease him back into the bed, your palms naturally ending up sliding onto the back of his neck, the tips of your fingers brushing against the hair at the base of his skull, an involuntary shiver running through you at what you realized too late was a bit of an intimate touch with a man who’d been touch starved for years
It was hard to say who was more stunned at first, with how quickly things transpired, when you suddenly felt a pair of strong hands reaching up to grip your wrists and hold them in place
You hadn’t even realized you had let out a gasp as your eyes flicked down and met none other than Ghost’s own wide open orbs only inches away from you, staring right at you as though he was seeing a ghost
Stunned into silence, worried that you truly were about to end up on the receiving end of Ghost’s anger for having invaded his space like that, you barely had enough time to process that he’d somehow woken from his coma when his grip on your wrists tightened further, and somehow, whether it was a trick of the light or you imagination, his gaze softened before his scratchy, out of use voice said:
“Love.”
Your ears were ringing, hardly taking notice of the way a flurry of alarms and bells had gone off as soon as Ghost had woken up, his heart rate soaring through the roof and alerting staff
Medical personnel rushed into the room before you could wrap your mind around any of what was happening, Ghost’s grip on your never loosening until the doctor finally approached you both, sensing the tension in the air
“Lieutenant Riley,” the man said, gently landing a hand in Ghost’s bicep to hopefully help him ease his strong grip on you. “Let her go.”
His grip on you disappeared instantly, as though your skin had suddenly burned him, but his eyes never wavered from your own, even as he began mumbling unintelligibly beneath his medical mask
“What was that?” The doctor asked, trying to bring calm back to the room and ease Ghost into a state where he could be properly examined
“My girl.” The Lieutenant’s gravelly voice echoed throughout the sterile room
“Pardon?”
“My girl.” Ghost repeated, never once breaking eye contact with your now widened eyes
“Do- do you know who this is, Lieutenant?” The doctor posed the question, slowly gesturing towards you with a confusion that was spreading amongst you all
“‘Course I do.” Ghost spoke with certainty. “That’s my love.”
Part two
#written on my phone quickly not proofread but posting with my heart#love love looove a good coma and post-coma love confession#call of duty fic#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#cod fanfic#ghost x you#cod simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost fanfic#call of duty ghost#ghost cod#cod simon riley#readwritealldayallnight#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon fluff#simon riley fluff#cod fic#simon ghost riley fluff#ghost#cod fluff
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