#nooooo he just thought people would think he was grooming me

[babyybitchhh]

Shigaraki x Reader 18+

Title: Crybaby

Rating: Explicit/R-18+

Words: 12,290

Warnings: I'll be honest and say I'm not entirely sure how to tag some of this so proceed with caution. Infantilization, forced age regression, mental age regression, non consensual regression, ageplay, mentions of baby bottles and pacifiers, coercion, general noncon and dubcon, diddling, vaginal fingering, involuntary urination, wetting, mention of forced third party bathing, diapers, penis in vagina sex, unprotected sex, creampie, excessive use of 'Tomu-nii', mention of sex slaves, a brief but explicitly violent death mention towards the start, overall very questionable decisions from both me and Shigaraki

A/N: I will not be taking any questions at this time, thank you.

( @tomurasprincess)

♥♥♥♥

There was a fine line between a gift and a burden.

A new video game, for example, is something people were generally happy to receive and there was no obligation to slave over it at all hours of the day, unless you wanted to. A puppy, on the other hand, came with a certain amount of responsibility that couldn’t be side lined until Tomura decided to deal with it. There was no save button, no coming back to it later. He had to be vigilant to some degree, mindful of the life that was now in his hands, and that wasn’t something he was accustomed to by any stretch of the imagination. He couldn’t stand it. Didn’t even really possess the vernacular needed to describe exactly how much it pissed him off that he was suddenly expected to take care of someone - something else.

It was bullshit.

Standing over your prone form sprawled out on the cluttered floor he thinks, not for the first time, about ending it right here and now. It would be easy, surely. One touch of his hand and you’d be gone. Disintegrated to mere dust and nothing more than a vague, unpleasant memory in the back of his mind. You deserved it by simple virtue of being such a damn inconvenience but, just as every other time, he hesitates.

Not because you don’t even realize the danger you’re in as you innocently kick your legs back and forth in the air, all your wide eyed, dopey attention locked on the tv screen. Tomura is not so soft as to consider a sneak attack you don’t even see coming an insult to his pride. He would’ve been showing you mercy, actually, because if he didn’t fear upsetting All for One so much he’d have preferred to wrap his hands around your scrawny little neck instead. Give you a good throttle or two. Squeeze until his knuckles were a stark white against your purpling blue skin. He could almost envision what you would look like, all bloated and full of blood from burst capillaries and reddened eyes rolling into the back of your skull.

His cock stirs in his pants and his hatred for you grows with it. He couldn’t stand you or what you represented, a sudden addition to his life that he never asked for but couldn’t get rid of, and the fact he was getting stiff from his morbid fantasies was certainly your fault too. Everything was your fault. Right down to the most minor of inconveniences, you were to blame - even if it happened before you were dropped into his lap with all the to-do of a posh, overly indulgent birthday present. It was you. You, you, you, you you you youyouyouyouyou -

“Tomu-nii?”

With a jolt, he snaps out of it. The haze lifts and his blown out eyes focus in on your tubby little face, now turned over your shoulder to glance back at him. Tomura isn’t sure when you realized he was looming over you like some horrible, sickly wraith and he knows even less how it is that you show no fear towards him. Were you really so stupid that you couldn’t sense his desire to not only kill you but make you suffer? So blind that you didn’t see the way his bony hands fisted at his sides with a purpose and not in idle reflex?

No. It wasn’t that you were as unintelligent as a brain dead sheep happily trotting off to slaughter. Rather, it’s because that was what All for One had designed you to be.

Tomura wouldn’t claim to understand how, exactly, his mentor had gotten these results but he knows enough to recognize the signs. You’d been stripped of everything in a way that far exceeded mere surface level nudity. All for One had gone even deeper than that, past flesh and bone and right into the heart of what made you you. The brain.

He had no doubt that a quirk had been used, the specifics of which he couldn’t even begin to fathom, but the tinkering and rewiring had done its job exceedingly well, in fact. While your body was that of a young adult woman, early to mid 20’s if he had to wager a guess, your mind was something like that of a toddlers. You could speak just fine but the enunciation was sloppy, your words childish and limited to small, easily communicable sentences. You picked up on things surprisingly fast, perhaps even a little too well if the way he’d heard you let out a soft, half hearted ‘fuck’ earlier was anything to go by. But you slipped up just as easily and he was getting real tired of making sure you went and sat on the toilet instead of pissing all over his (no doubt already smelly) carpet. Living in his own mess was one thing. Living in someone else’s was another matter entirely.

Nothing about this was in error, though. You were exactly what All for One intended for you to be - little more than an animal for him to look after but with arguably higher stakes involved - and he’d had enough. It’d only been a single day, a full 24 hours since you were dropped into his room, and he was already at the end of his patience.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like that stupid cartoon I put on for you?”

You actually had the audacity to pout at him, jutting your lower lip out and puffing your cheeks as if that was supposed to make him feel anything other than an even stronger urge to take you out of this world. “S’not that. Mm’ just bored. You’re no fun.”

Tomura very nearly lunges at you with outstretched hands, All for One be damned, but your next words stop him in his tracks.

“I thought maybe you were coming to play with me.”

Play with you? He would’ve laughed if only he could find even a sliver of real humor in this situation. This was a joke, if not because of the absurdity of it all then at least because he wanted to play with you alright. He wanted to play a game that started with you screaming in shrill terror and ended with a chilly body laid out on his bedroom floor. That sounded like more fun than a barrel of kittens.

He stills himself, though, and snobbishly peers at you down the length of his nose. “I don’t play games with brats. Sorry.”

That only makes you pout even more. “Meanie.”

“Watch your fucking cartoon,” Tomura grits out through gnashing, angry teeth, unreasonably irritated by your persistent refusal to cooperate. “Before I make you.”

He isn’t even really sure if that threat makes any sense at this point, so thrown off by your mere presence in what should’ve been his space that he can barely make heads or tails of his own thoughts anymore. But the dramatic way you squawk in displeasure and throw yourself out flat on the floor placates him somewhat. You were easy to rile up, and he would have been a boldfaced liar if he’d said he didn’t get a kick out of that. Tomura had never felt quite so cruel, so much like an adolescent bully looking to make his problems someone else’s as when he was working you up into a proper fit.

It was easily the most enjoyable aspect of this arrangement so far, and he watches with nothing short of smug satisfaction as you pound your hands on the floor in pent up frustration. It was laughably easy to picture what they’d look like, well groomed after a manicure and with a fresh coat of polish on the nails. You looked like you’d probably been the sort of woman who would go with reds. Fierce and bold, as much a statement as your pretty face, which was currently scrunched up and pressed tight against the carpet in front of his tv. Those same hands were plain and unadorned now, squeezed into tight little fists that were about as harmless as they could get. Tomura probably would’ve considered a turtle more of a pressing threat than you right now.

“Crybaby.” He spits the word out like it’s poison. “Does that make you feel better? Huh? Throwing a tantrum just because you’re not getting your way?”

“Mm’ not a crybaby!” You scream into the carpet. The contrast between your plushy figure and your behavior is disturbing on some very real, intrinsic level and that only seems to add fuel to his fire.

“Hah! That’s funny. You certainly look like one, you know that? What would you even think of yourself if you were in your right mind, I wonder.”

“Mm’ not!” Your incessant screeching rises in pitch and Tomura is almost positive you aren’t even really hearing him anymore, but he decides he doesn’t care.

“Embarrassing. Maybe I should have Kurogiri bring me a bottle since you want to act like a baby so much. Or would you like a pacifier instead? Hmm? Would that make you feel better, princess?”

“Nooooo!”

Your feet start kicking the air again, violently rather than in placid distraction, and the motion draws Tomura’s gaze to the seat of your onesie. Pink and humiliatingly infantile for a grown woman to be wearing, he’d looked at it with nothing short of contempt up until now. But the (no doubt exhausting) flex of your legs bunches the loose cotton, making it gather around your upturned ass and in turn emphasizes the convenient button flap across the back. Now that he’s actually looking at it, he’s almost positive it was wide enough to expose your entire rear to the world with little more than a quick snap of his fingers. Maybe even wide enough to expose other things too …

Tomura jolts with all the force of a sudden electric shock when you cry out his name or, rather, the ridiculous moniker you’d given him. He’d like to know who’d planted that particular seed in your head - if it was All for One’s idea of a twisted joke or if Kurogiri had really thought being called niichan by a woman who may or may not actually be older than him would make Tomura feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It doesn’t exactly matter now, though, because the wet quality of your voice makes his cock spring up in his pants. He’s mildly horrified with himself, far more comfortable with his earlier fantasies of killing you, but there’s no helping it anymore. Not when you say his name like that. Not when the tears he’d initially thought were crocodilian at best were so thick and heavy in your throat that the syllables come out garbled and almost incomprehensible.

He’s not sure what he intends to do, but he shuffles closer.

You’ve started to tire out now and the kicking slows before stopping all together. He watches your ankles cross over one another in the air, as if you were trying to self soothe on some level by physically keeping yourself together, but it doesn’t seem to do much in the way of good. Your shoulders were still trembling with the lingering traces of your fit, and he can hear you mewling into the abrasive carpet like a wounded animal. It was clear that you were hurting because of him - and not just as a result of his teasing. After the complete and utter deconstruction of your mind, you were probably scared without even really knowing why. Confused, but too lost in the quirk induced stupor that had left you in this sorry state to seek out answers.

He hadn’t bothered to test this theory yet, but Tomura would have been willing to bet good money that All for One left you with very little inside that thick skull of yours. It just made sense, after all. For what good was a doll with memories of her past life? What would he have possibly gotten out of playing house with someone who fought him every step of the way, either out of embarrassment or repulsion towards him as a person?

No. You were a blank slate in the strictest sense. His to mold however he deemed fit and with no recollection of who you were, who you’d been or even who you’d wanted to be, he was free to do whatever he damn well pleased.

There was still raging contempt for you burning within his chest, certainly. You were an annoying, unnecessary burden on him and there was no getting around the fact that he still wanted you gone. But the spark igniting his gut is even stronger and, for better or worse, it momentarily overrides his better judgement.

So he sinks down onto his knees, directly behind you, and reaches out to tentatively palm the swell of your ass. Pinky held away, so as not to disintegrate you, which surprises him somewhat given how vivid his fantasies of killing you had been. He doesn’t get to linger on that for very long though, because you grow still at his touch and your pathetic sniveling quiets to a soft, almost hopeful sniffle. Tomura bites back a crude snort, just barely managing to catch himself before he backpedals and hisses another insult at you. He could probably take what he wanted with any given method, he didn’t have to be nice about it, but somehow the alternative just felt wrong. Physically you were an adult, but with the mental state of a child it felt a bit like taking advantage of an innocent and he wasn’t a complete monster.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, the word foreign on his tongue. “I shouldn’t have been so mean. Will you forgive me?”

You squirm and push your face further into the carpet. “Mhm.”

He doesn’t smile. But he does take that as an incentive to push forward, and he starts caressing your backside with slow, cautious circles. “Do you really want me to play with you that bad?”

“Mhm.”

Hesitating, Tomura considers his next words very carefully. “Fine. I’ll play with you. But I get to choose the game.”

You don’t immediately respond and he starts to wonder if he’d made a mistake. Overestimated his ability to be diplomatic and conscientious - which wouldn’t exactly have come as a surprise. But then you shift on the floor, tension draining from your body as you turn your head so you aren’t suffocating in the carpet anymore. “Okay.”

His brows lift in surprise only to then knit together. It was that easy? He’s not so sure he trusts it but, dropping his gaze back down to your ass, he gives the doughy soft flesh an experimental squeeze. Your only response is a soft, faltering sigh that seems to help you relax more. This, too, seems a little too good to be true but he keeps going anyway.

When a few minutes of kneading your defenseless backside does nothing to upset you, Tomura starts to get bolder. He slowly brings his opposite hand forward and latches onto the other cheek with four fingers, massaging both sides in tandem. He’d had the unfortunate luck of seeing your bare ass late the previous evening, after you’d emptied your bladder all over the blanket he’d tossed you to sleep on which had resulted in an aggressively administered bath for you and a frustrated headache for him. He hadn’t paid too much attention at the time, far too angry to be horny, but he knew enough to realize that you were unexpectedly voluptuous under that onesie.

The garment itself was so oversized it hid even the smallest hint of the womanly figure underneath. He probably would’ve forgotten all about it, pushed to the back of his mind in favor of more pressing matters (like getting rid of you) but now that he’s got his hands on your butt it’s all he can think about. The way your full tits jiggled when he’d non too gently manhandled you into the tub. The frustratingly cute lower belly pouch that bulged when you sat down, crying, on the porcelain surface. The way your thighs molded to whatever position he’d yanked them in so he could hose you off like a filthy stray. He’d actively avoided looking at what was between your legs, in fear of what he’d see as much as stubborn refusal, but looking back on it now he isn’t sure how he hadn’t given in to temptation.

Now, however, he was suddenly more interested than ever in finding out what your pussy looked like and, hooking his long index fingers into the flap, he starts to unlatch it one button at a time.

You make no move to stop him. Don’t even protest or question what he’s doing. It’s almost as if just having his attention on you is enough, and Tomura’s mouth pulls back in a sneer at the mere thought. You were so damn stupid for trusting him like this, completely oblivious or uncaring about what his intentions were. He could be as violent with you as he wanted. He could erase you from this existence with the briefest touch. But you just lay there, your shoulders slowly rising and falling with each even breath you draw, and he can’t decide if that feeling clawing at the back of his throat is hatred or guilt.

But there’s no real reason to stop now, so he carefully peels back the flap of fabric once he’s got it completely unfastened. Bare skin greets him, a perfectly exposed strip of swelling flesh that seems all the more enticing with pink cotton framing it so nicely. He pauses long enough to lick his dry, cracked lips. The weight of his stiff cock strains against the inside of his zipper, twitching eagerly when he reaches out to hesitantly touch your back side again.

The sensation of a real, living person under his fingertips makes his breath come a little faster. Still, you don’t move though and he picks up right where he left off, roughly groping your ass cheeks with barely contained excitement until he gets so vigorous that you whimper.

“Shh. I’ll try not to be so rough.” Tomura shushes you, throaty and barely more than a murmur.

You settle back into place, thankfully, and he takes that chance to spread your cheeks open. He gets a brief glimpse of the puckered hole hidden inside, white hot static racing straight to his groin, and he lets out a rumbling groan. His fingers squeeze into flesh again and he pulls, baring you entirely to his voracious eyes. The tight muscle twitches, winking at him, and his attention drops to the smallest satiny peak of your slit. He can just barely see it, mostly hidden behind the pooling fabric bunched under the swell of your ass, but it’s more than enough to make him feel dizzy.

“Shit,” he sounds winded even to his own ears. “You’ve got such a nice body.”

To his surprise, you actually perk up at that. “Really?”

Tomura almost snaps at you on impulse, so irritated by the sound of your voice that he nearly forgets what he’s trying to do. Quelling himself, though, he tugs at the bottom half of your onesie until he can see the plushy soft lips of your pussy. You look so inviting, so warm and real he can hardly even stand it.

“Really.” He croaks. “How old are you again?”

You seem to think about that. “Mm, I dunno’!”

He frowns. Contemplates that for a long beat. But the coarse hair curling around your slit seems answer enough, for him at least. You weren’t actually a child. You just sounded like one, acted like one, dressed like one. That wasn’t what was getting him so painfully hard though. It was the fact you were a woman, physically, and he’d never gotten to see one up close and personal like this before. Why hadn’t All for One just given him a proper sex slave instead of one that threw tantrums and cried at the drop of a dime? Was this really what his mentor had intended for him to do with you?

“Tomu-nii?”

Drawing a sharp breath, he brings his attention up to bark at you to be quiet but the words catch when he finds you looking at him over your shoulder. He can feel his cheeks starting to warm, suddenly embarrassed.

“What?”

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

He flounders for a moment. Then, awkwardly clearing his throat, he decides to fall back on his original excuse. “This is the game I mentioned earlier. You wanted to play, right?”

You nod your head, but you don’t look entirely certain about that. “I do but … aren’t games s’posed to be fun? This is boring!”

His mouth presses into a thin line. It hadn’t occurred to him that you might not be content to just idly sit by while he molested your slutty little body, but if it was fun you wanted then he could certainly give you that. “This was just the warm up. Roll over and I’ll show you how to play.”

The way your eyes light up almost makes him regret this decision. It’s too late though, you’re already twisting over on to your back with your elbows braced on the carpet so you can stare up at him. Stupid and expectant.

He clicks his tongue.

Reaching out to grab your wide set hips with only eight of his fingers, he inelegantly drags you closer so that you were nicely slotted between his knees. Your legs curl up as you regard him with nothing short of intense curiosity, lips parting in a silent ‘o’ that very nearly sends him over the edge. You were too pretty for your own good. Much too beautiful to be wearing a pink onesie and acting like a baby. This was such a waste, and he almost feels bad for what All for One did to you.

But he shrugs it off, forcefully, and his delicately poised hands descend on your zipper. Zrrrrrt, straight down the length of your body. It stops directly above your crotch and he reaches up to reverently push the cotton out to the sides and expose the rest of you.

Your tits were even better than he’d initially thought. They were full and heavy, dotted with the most perfect little buds for nipples. Soft and smooth. Tomura’s mouth waters in anticipation and he doesn’t realize how roughly he’s jerking your arms out of the sleeves until you wail dramatically that it hurts.

He’d like to tell you what really hurts is his cock, unbearably hard and trapped inside his pants, but he refrains. Instead, he huffs out an insincere apology and keeps on yanking. He can’t get you undressed fast enough, mesmerized by the way your breasts jiggle and bounce every time he pulls on you. There’s something inherently wrong about this, he knows. It’s so damn obvious you’re not right in the head, that you aren’t of sound enough mind to even understand what he’s doing to you, but he can’t bring himself to stop. Not when you were so willing and pliant under his shaking hands.

Finally managing to wrest the blasted onesie off your kicking feet, Tomura tosses it off to the side and he eagerly sets his sights on your naked body. You should have looked seductive and coy, spread out in front of him with a devious smile curling artfully painted lips as you invite him to have his way with you. Instead, you fitfully squirm, neither seductive nor shy. It’s clear that you have no sense of shame, your artificially infantile brain completely void of the concept and even less aware of how inappropriate any of this was. You just keep looking at him, waiting for the explanation he’d promised to give you.

Oh. That’s right. The game he kept talking about. Perhaps he could still salvage this after all.

“The rules are simple,” he says slowly, scrambling to put together a decent excuse to keep going. “I’ll touch you for a little bit and if I can make you feel good then I win. After that, it’ll be your turn. If you make me feel good, you’ll win. Understand?”

Your expression pinches in confusion. “So we both win?”

“Only if we make each other feel good. What’s wrong? You don’t want to play with me anymore?”

Much to his relief, you quickly bob your head. “I do! Please play with me, Tomu-nii!”

The way his cock jolts at that makes his entire body ache. It’s much too late to turn back now, he was well past the point of salvation, and he haltingly drags his attention down to your chest. Your petite nipples had stiffened in the cool air but it’s as if you don’t even notice. Wasn’t that something a grown woman would be conscious of? He thinks so, or at least he’s pretty sure it is. Apparently it isn’t the sort of thing a dumb baby brain even registers, though, and he reaches out to curiously flick at one.

You gasp, eyes widening slightly. Misplaced hope sears his veins and he watches you intently, holding his breath, but you don’t seem to understand what it is you’re feeling. Your brows furrow as you glance down at yourself and bring a hand up to cover your nipple.

“Oww …”

That certainly wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. Or at least it wasn’t the sort of reaction Pornhub had taught him to expect, but it was still something.

“Baby.” He grumbles, reaching for the opposite tit.

“Mm’not!”

“Are too. Didn’t that feel good?”

“No!”

“Then you’re winning, aren’t you?”

Confusion marches across your face for a moment before understanding dawns. You look quite pleased now as you track the movement of his hand as he carefully pinches your puckered nipple between thumb and forefinger, gently rolling it between the pads. He doesn’t get an immediate reaction out of you but the longer he does it the more your lips start to purse. It’s as if you were holding back, determined not to show him that you might be enjoying it and risk losing the game, but it’s enough to embolden him.

His ministrations pick up and he gives your delicate little teat a mild twist. There’s no malice or cruelty behind the action. He just wants to see what you’ll do. And you don’t disappoint, the way you jump and your mouth flies open as if to squawk making his stomach clench with something perverse. You catch yourself at the last second though, teeth clacking together as your gaze flits up at him to see if he’s looking.

He is, of course, and you forcibly swallow the sound you’d almost let out. Tomura is a bit disappointed, sure. He’d wanted to hear how pretty you’d moan for him but there were still plenty of other chances for him to coerce at least one out of you.

Hunching over your prone body, he brings his other hand up to latch onto the opposite nipple, the one he’d previously flicked. You wince at the contact but make no move to stop him, biting down on your lower lip to keep quiet as you watch him play with your fat tits in petulant silence. It was ass backwards in so many ways. He’d thought, despite everything, his first time with a girl would be somewhat normal. Maybe not picture perfect or all that good when everything was said and done, but at least relatively mundane. This was the farthest thing from that though. He couldn’t conceive of a more wildly abnormal scenario even if he’d tried, nor did he recall ever seeing any porn with this hyper specific set up. But there was still some sick, twisted part of him that was deriving pleasure from this decidedly unorthodox encounter with the opposite sex, and that feeling only grows exponentially the more he keeps going.

Kneading, pinching, squeezing, tugging. He doesn’t let up until your nipples are flushed dark and straining hard, the glistening hint of tears at the corners of your eyes telling him beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was getting somewhere. The urge to call you a crybaby swells in his chest again but he doesn’t want to risk another tantrum. He wasn’t so sure his cock could handle it, particularly not when he’d positioned himself over you in such a way that one solid kick would put him out of commission for the foreseeable future. No, this was a delicate situation that required the utmost care on his part and, gathering his nerves, he swoops down to cover one of the stiff buds with his mouth.

The heated gasp that bursts out of you in a great woosh has him groaning into the meaty swell of your tit. You shudder underneath him, involuntarily twitching as he traces your areola with the tip of his tongue and laves it in warm, wet attention. He can tell that you’re not sure what to do so he waits with bated breath, reveling in the fleshy nub pinched between his lips. There was no reason for him not to squeeze every last drop of enjoyment he could get out of this while he could, after all - but then your hands find his hair, threading into wavy locks, and he throbs for you.

“Tomu-nii …”

He practically sinks into you, damn near suffocating himself in the plushy swell of your breast. His mouth opens wide and sucks more of you past his lips, suckling enthusiastically just like the infant you were programmed to be. This particular role reversal doesn’t even seem to register in your mind though and he seethes when you tug at his hair, trying to pull him off.

“St-aaahp …. I don’t like it!”

Tomura comes up off you with a wet gasp. “Bullshit.” He practically growls, narrowing his eyes at your dopey, flustered expression.

“It’s true! I don’t!”

“Oh? Should we check then?”

Your face scrunches and you draw a breath to question him, but he doesn’t give you the chance. Going back up on his knees, he plants one hand against the meat of your inner thigh and shoves it wide. His other darts between your legs before you can react, spindly digits finding your bare cunt and prodding at your folds with rough fingertips. You jolt at the contact but it’s too late. He barely has to touch you to feel the slick oozing out of you and he lets loose a harsh bark of laughter.

“My ass. You’re fucking soaked. You shouldn’t lie, you know.”

“I didn’t!” You gasp, clearly offended by the insinuation. “You’re just a fucking meanie!”

That gives him pause.

Glancing up at your face, Tomura regards you carefully as he tries to figure out his next move. On one hand it was his own fault for saying that word around you so much and it’s not like it was any of his business what you did or didn’t say, but on the other … there was something uncomfortable about hearing that come out of your mouth with such a childish inflection. It lacked any and all bite, not even a hint of impotent aggression to be found. You were just parroting him, that’s all, but for whatever reason he didn’t really appreciate it.

“Don’t say that.” He huffs, turning his attention back to your pussy.

Tomura had wanted to leave it at that, but of course you have to fight him every step of the way.

“Why not?” You ask rather flippantly.

“Because i said so. If you want to get smart, be my guest. I know how to handle bratty little girls like you.”

He’s a bit surprised when that actually shuts you up. Apparently, he was starting to get the hang of this but he still has to sneak a quick peek at you just to make sure. The fact you actually look contemplative, as if you were turning that over in your empty head, almost makes him laugh.

“Do you still want to play?” God, he sorely hoped you did.

You hesitate though, unwilling to give your acquiescence just like that. “When is it my turn?” You ask warily.

“Soon. I’ve got one more chance to make you feel good and then you can try.”

“Mmm … okay. But I’m not gonna’ lose!”

He’s almost certain you would have already lost if you weren’t such a petulant little thing, but he keeps that to himself. Instead, he once again turns his attention to the spot between your legs. Your puffy slit was noticeably wet, the faint sheen of fluid glistening slightly in the overhead light, and he takes a moment to gently part the curls there. Just as he’d thought. Damp to the touch and only getting wetter. He really was going to have to talk to you about lying especially since, in this particular context, you were cheating. This was a far cry from his video games but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

Swallowing his reprimand for the time being, though, Tomura carefully presses two fingers into the doughy softness of your labia and spreads them apart. He can see now that you were practically drenched in slick arousal, thin threads of discharge stretching across your petal soft folds before snapping. He gulps down his nerves. You really did have the prettiest pussy he’d ever seen and the fact it was all his for the taking very nearly had him creaming in his pants right then and there. It was almost obscene how bad he wanted to fuck your tampered brains out but he didn’t want to scare you into noncompliance. He wasn’t going to fight for this if he didn’t have to.

Slowly, so as not to startle you, he brings his other hand close and prods at where he thinks your clit should be. He’d certainly seen them in enough triple X videos to have some idea of where to look, but when all you do is let out a soft sigh he knows he’s mistaken.

His teeth gnash in high strung irritation as he walks his finger lower and then higher, feeling a bit like a blind fool searching for buried treasure. There were so many fleshy ridges and folds that he couldn’t pinpoint the right spot from memory alone, so he has to take his time feeling around instead. He thinks he’s found it for a split second when you shift underneath him, but then he realizes you were simply getting fussy - no doubt bored with all his incessant pawing - and that only angers him further. It shouldn’t have been this damn hard to find!

Impatient now, Tomura roughly swipes his finger up the length of your slit and surprise washes over him when you jolt as if he’d electrocuted you. Your head comes up off the rug and you stare at him, wide eyed, but it was much too late. He’d finally gotten the reaction out of you that he’d been hoping for, and he leans into it with nothing short of devilish delight.

Knowing precisely where to look helps a great deal and it immediately occurs to him that the reason he’d struggled so much is because your clit was still hidden behind its protective hood. But he’s got the advantage now, and he ever so carefully pinches at satiny soft skin until he can ease it back and expose the sensitive little bud nestled inside. You whimper slightly as he does it, squirming awkwardly on your back as if you could instinctively sense that you might be in a bit of trouble now. It was kind of cute, if he was being totally honest.

“I don’t think I like this game …”

“You will. Trust me.”

Clearly not believing him, you start to open your mouth to complain but he stops you cold with a quick flick of his finger. Your engorged clit jostles against the indelicate contact and you blurt out such a startled sound that he actually glances up to make sure you’re okay. Unsurprisingly, you look a little more flustered now and the panic edging your expression is almost enough to make him reconsider this.

Almost, but not quite.

“What’s the matter?” He goads, dropping his gaze back down to your pussy again. “I thought you didn’t like it.”

“I … I don’t …”

“Really? I’m not sure I believe that.”

He does it again, gentler this time. Just a brief tap against the meaty little nub, but it’s enough to make you twitch and try to close your legs from him. Tomura won’t let you back out so easily though and he shifts even closer so he can wedge himself between your thighs to keep them spread. You issue a frustrated, huffy sound that he could only describe as babyish as you try to push up on your elbows, no doubt intending to scuttle away from him. He had to give you credit for being so hard headed even in this infantile state but he was far too invested to quit now.

Letting up his hold on your labia, Tomura directs his fingers lower and wedges three of them into your slit. You freeze, momentarily stunned, and he takes that split second opportunity to feel around for your entrance. It’s not hard to find. Much easier than your clit, at any rate, and he wastes no time wriggling a long digit up inside your body. The penetration is smooth, your guts such a slippery mess that it almost startles him.

You really were a liar.

He suddenly realizes he’s panting. At the same time, he realizes that you don’t appear to be breathing at all. Your expression is about as dumbfounded as it could be, and he dully watches the way you sway in your half upright position. Shellshocked would probably be an appropriate descriptor, and he wets his lips in anticipation.

“Well? Do you like it?”

Your legs flex around his arms and you shake your head. “Nuh … no …”

“If you don’t stop lying to me,” he grumbles. “I’m going to get mad.”

You stiffen, clearly drawing yourself up to challenge that statement just like he’d known you would. It was embarrassing how predictable you could be.

He’s had just about enough of this back and forth though, and he roughly curls his finger upward in search of the spot that would finally shut you up for good. But his efforts only make you more fussy and his patience quickly unravels when you try to twist away from him, wailing in displeasure. He hated that sound and, if you weren’t careful, he’d go right back to hating you too

Grunting, Tomura abandons your clit in favor of latching his hand onto the swell of your thigh and he digs his blunt nails in to keep you still. You actually have the audacity to kick out at him but he puts a stop to that quickly enough by shoving a second finger into your sticky cunt. Just like the first time, it makes you hesitate and he watches your warbling mouth drop open in what he thinks might be pleasure. It’s frustratingly hard to tell with you but, having no other choice, he decides to take it at face value.

Your pussy clicks loudly when he starts pumping into you straight down to the knuckle, the wet squelch almost deafening in his ears. It’s unreasonably hot though, his mind running a mile a minute as he tries to commit every little detail to memory. The way your face screws up with a stuttering gasp, the way you squeeze your eyes shut and try to brace against the pressure of his digits driving into you again and again. The way you moan, even when you try not to, is particularly enticing, especially since it’s just as pretty as he’d hoped it would be. The way your legs shake and you threaten to double over, the way he can see you clutching the carpet in a death grip, the way you just seem to get even wetter for him. There was too much to take in all at once but it was also far too erotic to look away from. He really was going to cream his pants at this rate.

Somehow, your honest reaction appears to make up for all the trouble you’d given him up until now and Tomura can feel the wet spot bleeding through his boxer briefs start to grow. He was positive he’d never been harder in all his life. Animalistic and practically slobbering like a rabid dog, he hunches further over your quaking body and pistons into your cunt so vigorously his arm starts to ache. You were wailing for him to stop, crying out for Tomu-nii, Tomu-nii, Tomu-nii, but he doesn’t even slow down. He can’t.

Your cunt just keeps sucking him in deeper on every plunge, gummy walls pulsating around his no doubt pruning fingers so enthusiastically that he’s sure you’re going to cum. He can practically taste it. Tomura wasn't going to stop until you did and, realizing he doesn’t have to hold onto you any longer, he reaches out to roughly shove you down on your back again.

“Are you going to cream for me, princess? Huh?” He grits out through savagely bared teeth. “Is that what you’re going to do?”

“No! Please, Tomu-nii … it hurts!”

Even in the heat of the moment he can’t stop himself from clicking his tongue in irritation. “No it doesn’t, you big baby. You love this. I know you do. I can see it written all over your stupid, pretty face. Go on. Tell me exactly how good you feel. Do it!”

Wailing, you peer up at him through heavy lashes with a look so imploring it very nearly gives him pause. “I - I can’t! I’m … Tomu-nii, I’m gonna’ … I’m gonna’ pee!”

“No you aren’t. That just means your clo - -“

Tomura cuts himself off when you do exactly that. He’s almost too stunned to react and all he can do is watch as the steady stream of urine bursts out of you before dribbling down his wrist to soak into the carpet underneath. It’s only now, when you’re pissing all over yourself as well as him, that he finally has the decency to slow his pumping to a staggered halt. For a fleeting moment he actually considers the notion of keeping at it. There wasn’t much else you could do to ruin this for him, after all, but one look at your expression immediately quashes that idea.

He’d be lucky if all he could manage was to stop you from dissolving into ugly, heaving sobs, let alone worry about getting himself off. Dammit. You really were nothing but a pain in his ass.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He deadpans, slowly withdrawing his fingers from your cunt now that he was thoroughly coated in warm, smelly piss. “To be honest I was kind of tired of that rug anyway. And these clothes, too.”

You hiccup so sadly that what little bit of anger had sparked inside him immediately dies out. He couldn’t even be mad at you for this no matter how much he may have wanted to blame you for everything. You’d tried to warn him.

“T- Tomu-nii … mm’sorry …”

Tomura sighs through his nose, hard enough to make the split end tips of his hair shift. “Don't be. That was my fault. Just - let me find something to clean us up with.”

“Do I have to take another bath?” You ask so meekly he almost misses it.

Pausing halfway through the motion of rising to his feet, he glances down at you again. It occurs to him quickly enough that it wasn’t the accident you were so upset about but, rather, the looming possibility of another aggressively meted out trip to the bathroom. Interesting. He’d almost think he was mistaken, it had only happened once, after all, but the way your lower lip wobbles tells him everything he needs to know. Apparently you were more scared of him than you’d let on.

“No, not right now. I think I can get you clean enough with a wet rag or something. You’ll have to take one later but,” Tomura scoffs, hating that he was actually trying to be nice after you’d peed all over him. “I’ll try not to be so rough next time. You just made me mad last night, that’s all.”

You nod slowly, looking like you don’t quite believe that, but still too naively trusting to press the matter. “Okay.”

Nodding once, Tomura climbs to his feet. The inner seam of his pants from the knee down is absolutely soaked and he makes it only three steps before deciding he didn’t like them all that much to begin with. Dropping his hand to the rough denim, he brushes all five fingers across the thigh and they dissolve into nothing without a second thought to the matter. He can faintly hear you ooohing behind him but there were much more important things to worry about than how easily impressed you were.

His half flagged cock throbs hopefully inside his boxer briefs and he reaches down to delicately adjust himself. God, he’d be aching for the next week thanks to your uncontrollable bladder.

An idea pops into his head with that thought. You weren’t the only thing he’d been saddled with yesterday, and he turns to regard the thick gym bag he’d previously thrown against the far wall in anger. It’s where he’d gotten your pink onesie after you’d similarly soiled the first pair of clothes you’d been wearing. He hadn’t bothered to look through all of its contents just yet, but he felt relatively confident he’d find what he wanted in there.

Circling back around, Tomura squats in front of the bag and yanks it open. He can feel your eyes watching him from your spot on the floor but he pays it no mind. Digging inside, he pulls out a few more articles of clothing, far too cutesy for his tastes, and then a book on child care that he knows for certain was put there in jest. Over his shoulder it gets chucked, and he digs deeper. Down at the very bottom he finds exactly what he’d been looking for.

But in addition to the baby wipes there are two other items that catch his attention. He outright balks at the very notion - however, realistically speaking, it could very well be the answer to his problems. At least the most pressing one, anyway.

The idea that All for One knew he’d likely run into this issue but still decided to dump you on him anyway bothers Tomura a great deal and he frowns even as he looks over the packaging. Diapers and pull ups. What was the difference? He’s not so sure there is one, and he feels almost certain that they serve the same purpose. But further inspection proves him wrong. One was for a total lack of control and the other was for the potty training stage, so not as thick or absorbent. That’s what the packing said but, at any rate, they definitely weren't the plain adult brands he was looking at here.

These were bright and colorful, and he can’t help but cringe at the thought of putting you in either of them. But he was still left with a very real concern that he simply couldn’t overlook. The fact he even had to make this decision at all was ridiculous but he couldn’t very well have you pissing on every available surface in his room. And given your track record of absolutely drenching whatever you happened to be sitting on at the time …

Hesitantly, Tomura takes out the diapers and shuffles towards his unkempt bed. The print on the back wasn't particularly clear about what to do with them. He’d probably have to look up a tutorial later, when he wasn’t feeling quite so downtrodden and his balls weren’t aching, though that would certainly put him on a few watch lists. Not that it really mattered.

He sighs and tosses the package on top of his sheets before tearing into the baby wipes. Taking his time, he methodically scrubs his wrist and his legs clean while he contemplates his next move. It wasn’t going to be pretty. It certainly wasn’t going to be sexy. It was still probably the lesser of two evils, though. Far be it that he wanted to go this route but did he really even have any other choice at this point?

“Tomu-nii …”

Your soft whining draws him back to reality and, abruptly realizing you’ve been sitting in your own piss this entire time, he turns to look back at you. For a split second, he seriously considers just killing you right then and there. It would save him a lot of trouble and you wouldn’t even realize what was coming. You were so stupid you’d probably think he was going in for a hug or something asinine like that. He’d be doing you a favor, really, because as far as he was concerned, death was certainly preferable to wearing diapers but … the urge fizzles out almost as quickly as it had appeared. He wasn’t going to let you slip out of his hold until after he’d gotten to bury himself in that tight, pretty little pussy of yours.

Decision made, Tomura makes his way over to the carpet again. You look cold, which doesn’t exactly come as a surprise, and he bends down to grab the meat of your upper arms so he can drag you up to your feet. “Come on. I think I’ve got a solution.”

Your brows furrow slightly. “Salution?”

“Close enough.”

Steering you over to the bed, he makes you bend over the mattress so he can take a baby wipe to the backs of your thighs and ass. Luckily, depending on how you looked at it, the urine had run down rather than going every which direction so it was pretty easy to clean up. The way you tremble and shift your weight back and forth makes it a bit more difficult than it needed to be but he manages, somehow.

Tomura straightens after a long moment, finally deeming the back of you good to go. He’s not so sure he can get through this next part when you were fidgeting so much, though, and he briefly considers the clothes in the gym bag. The thought of putting you in another girly, saccharine sweet garment repulses him almost as much as the thought of putting you in a diaper. But he was going to have to pick and choose his battles here and, reaching back, he delicately tugs off his t-shirt.

“Turn around.”

You slowly comply, teeth chattering the whole time.

“Arms up.”

At this, you hesitate. But at his expectantly bland look, you do as you're told and raise your arms up in the air. The lift of your heavy tits almost successfully distracts him and it is with a great deal of self control on his part that he pulls his shirt down over your head, yanking it a little too forcefully into place.

“There.” He practically hisses, watching you clumsily work your arms through the sleeves. “Is that better?”

You think about that for a moment, eyes scanning across the front of his shirt, and he briefly wonders if you’re going to say something derisive about the worn video game logo stretched across your chest. But then you smile, nodding your head a little too enthusiastically.

“Mm! It smells like Tomu-nii!”

He really couldn’t stand you.

“Good. In return, I’ll need you to cooperate with me here. I’ve never done this before, you know?”

You blink at him quizzically. “Done what?”

Tomura rolls his eyes, feeling grumpier by the second. He couldn’t wait to get this over with and have you situated so he could run off to the bathroom for what probably wouldn’t even amount to five minutes of desperate jerking. “Never mind. Just do what I tell you, okay?”

You nod your head again, but he has some very real doubts about that. Even when you were pretending to go along with whatever it was he wanted you still found some way to fuck everything up for him. If this scheme somehow backfired because your brain was so scrambled you couldn’t even follow simple directions, he was not going to be happy.

Mentally bracing himself for the worst possible outcome, he reaches for the diapers. He rips the bag open almost violently and pulls one out, but it feels even more wrong in his hands than he’d thought it would. A strange sense of scandalized affront warms his chest, making him reconsider this choice for the upteenth time. If Tomura was being completely honest, he felt embarrassed for you but a quick glance in your direction proves that you don’t share quite the same sentiment. You really couldn’t have cared less, huh?

Right. Baby brain.

He grumbles under his breath as he non too gently snaps the diaper open with a loud crinkle of plastic and lays it out close to the edge of his bed. Motioning you closer, Tomura awkwardly helps you get seated on the damn thing and then instructs you to lay down. You genuinely don’t seem to have a problem with this as you recline back, just placidly peering up at him with your little fists balled in the hem of his shirt, but now that he’s gotten this far he’s not sure how to proceed.

At a loss, he takes another baby wipe out of the package and inserts himself between your bent legs. “I’m going to clean you some more, okay?” He's not sure why he’s telling you that, especially when all you do is nod your dopey head in understanding. Just buying time. That’s all he was doing.

But it gives him a chance to think and for that he’s grateful. Try as he might, he couldn’t seem to figure out what All for One’s intention with all this had been. ‘A splendid birthday present for my favorite pupil’, he’d said, as if there were any others. But what was the reason? Surely you weren’t actually supposed to be a sex slave for him. Not in this sorry state. His battered onahole did a much better job on that front and it wasn’t prone to tantrums or crying, and it certainly didn’t pee on his stuff. It also didn’t require more than a perfunctory cleaning every few months. He couldn’t very well shove you into his nightstand and forget about it until the next time he was in the mood to rut into something.

All that was true, yes, but … his onahole also wasn’t warm to the touch, and it didn’t have soft, curly hair framing its abused slit (he really should buy a new one) nor did it self lubricate. It didn’t squeeze him quite the same way your pussy had squeezed his fingers, and it didn’t even really feel like an actual vagina now that he had something to compare it to. You were soft and squishy, pliable in the way only flesh and blood could be, and although he had no way of knowing if this had been All for One’s plan or not, he was certainly self aware enough to recognize that he’d screwed up somewhere along the line.

Tomura absolutely should have turned you to dust while he still had the chance.

Licking his lips, he drags the wipe through the seam of your cunt much more slowly than he needed to. You don’t even stir on the bed, and he thinks you must be starting to doze after … all of that. He’s not quite ready to leave well enough alone yet though, and he gently presses down on the spot where he now knows your clit is hiding. Still using the moist towelette as a pretense to keep touching you like this, he circles the sensitive little bud with it and genuine surprise washes over him when you let out a soft, pleasant sigh.

He glances up at your face but you aren’t even looking at him, lashes fanned out against the apples of your cheeks. It’s hard to tell if you were actually asleep or just pretending so you could lull him into a false sense of security, yet he doesn’t particularly care one way or another. You were his so he could do whatever he wanted to you, right? Besides. You kind of owed him after pissing all over his hand like that.

Discarding the baby wipe, Tomura bends closer and carefully spreads your labia again. He could see your little hole weakly palpitating, beckoning him to pick back up where he’d left off, but he drags his gaze a bit higher instead. You were so velvety soft and smooth it bordered on insane, so much more inviting than he ever would have thought possible.

He briefly hesitates before throwing caution aside and sealing his lips around your clit, gently mouthing at it. Your plushy thighs twitch around his head as you shift on top of the mattress, letting out another breathy sound that rushes straight to his cock. It almost hurts, the way it so eagerly springs back to life after being denied something as simple as release, but he can’t find it in himself to complain. You were giving him another chance, knowingly or not, and he wasn’t the type to squander such an opportunity.

Tomura takes his time lapping at you over the next few minutes until you’re almost as wet as when he’d started. You taste heavenly even with the artificial flavor of the wipes clinging to your folds and he entertains the notion of eating you out until you cum all over his face. There’s something he wants even more than that, though, and he sighs in relief when he finally straightens up so he can fish his cock out. It was almost painfully sensitive to the touch, and he could feel it throbbing potently in his hand. He knew this probably wasn’t going to last long but he didn’t care.

Guiding himself to your waiting entrance, he slowly pushes in one fraction at a time, damn near blowing his load the second his glans disappears into your body. He holds back though, struggling to maintain his composure as he seethes through gritted teeth. You finally seemed to realize that something was going on and your pretty eyes flutter open, immediately searching out his face.

“Tomu-nii …?”

“Be quiet. I’ve got you.”

You accept that in lieu of an explanation surprisingly fast, at least by his standards, and without another word you sleepily glance down at the juncture where your bodies were connected. A slow inhale makes your chest rise, mouth falling open as if to groan. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck,” the sound rattles out of Tomura’s chest as he slides in right down to the base, toes flexing against the floor. “I’m not even gonna’ get to enjoy this.”

Brows knitting together, you let out the softest mewling sound he’s ever heard and it makes him dig his carefully poised fingers deeper into the meat of your hips. He can’t even bring himself to move, so overwhelmed by how soft and wet your guts are. It felt like you were massaging his length, involuntarily or not, as your pussy suckles at the tip like he’s almost positive your mouth would.

Softly wheezing, Tomura drops his chin to look at where the two of you were stuck together. His pelvis was so flush against yours that your pudgy cunt was molded to the front of him, squishing under the pressure, and his silvery pubes were tangled with your darker ones. He hadn’t expected such a sight to be so damn erotic and it has him twitching, fighting back the orgasm he’d gone through hell and back for.

He’s almost scared to do it but, slowly, he eases back. The way his cock gradually reappears, glistening obscenely now, very nearly sends him over the edge. He isn’t sure how he hasn’t ruptured yet, his ballsac drawn so tight and throbbing that it leaves him feeling lightheaded, but through sheer force of will alone he manages to sink back into the inviting heat of your body without spraying your insides white. His self control was tentative as best, hanging on by a mere thread, but you felt far too good to waste on a quick nut.

“Goddamn … you’re so tight, baby. So fucking tight.”

You fidget underneath him, fussily tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Mm’ not a baby …”

Your pouty little response is enough to make him bark out a clipped laugh, more breathless than amused. You could insist you weren’t a baby all you wanted but, even putting aside the cruel, infantile reprogramming of your brain, it was hard to think otherwise when you were spread out on top of a diaper. It’s stark white, cottony lining was an almost unsettling backdrop to the perfect view he had of his cock stuttering in and out of your slick cunt. Even when he was barely moving, it crinkled softly underneath you with each rocking motion of his hips and he couldn’t quite forget it was there no matter how hard he tried.

Tomura wasn’t sure what he would ultimately do with you and he knew even less why he was even entertaining this wildly absurd situation to begin with, but there was no denying that you did have some use. The clinging grip of your pussy, for starters, and if he could get that bratty mouth of yours under control he might even some day find your company bearable. He still didn’t particularly like you but it wasn’t so farfetched to think that he might be able to tolerate you, with enough effort.

Hissing through his teeth, he drags one of his hands down to spread your puffy lips apart and get a good look at the way your petal soft folds clutch to his cock. It was a mesmerizing visual in the worst possible way, especially when accompanied by the soft, wet clicking he pulls from your body. He could have watched this for hours on end but, realistically, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, and he gives his wrist a brief twist to bring the middle finger down on your clit.

You twitch at the contact but Tomura takes a much more gentle approach this time, sedately drawing circles around the swollen bud. He doesn’t get much in the way of a reaction for his trouble so he just keeps at it, rubbing you in tandem with his staggered thrusts. The thought of making you cum around his cock is almost disturbingly enticing, but he isn’t so sure he can accomplish that. Not when so much of his focus was devoted to simply biting back his orgasm - but then, to his throbbing surprise, you draw a faltering breath.

“Tomu-nii … feels good …”

It’s as if the air had been punched right out of him. He isn't so sure he even believes his own ears, the blood suddenly pounding inside of them making it hard to hear much of anything. He groans though, thick and heavy as he slides his other hand up across your stomach to push at the bottom of his shirt. Your grip on the soft cotton momentarily tightens, still fighting him at every turn, but you give in almost immediately and allow him to shove it over the swell of your tits.

They’re moving, jiggling ever so slightly with the push and pull of his narrow hips as they quietly slap against the backs of your thighs. Tomura heaves, practically doubling over you with another throaty moan that rises in pitch at the tail end. His palm descends on one of your breasts, squeezing hard enough that the pliable flesh bulges and spills out between four of his fingers. You just stare up at him the entire time, face pinched and flushed while your glistening eyes dreamily watch him with a far off sort of quality that he’s sure must be - has to be pleasure.

He’d never seen anything sexier in his whole life, and that thought alone is far more terrifying than he could have ever guessed it would be. There was something wrong with you, yes, by All for One’s design. But there was something even more inherently wrong with him for getting off on this so much and without the added bonus of quirk tampering to excuse his behavior. You were so sweet and unfairly innocent despite your seductive figure, the sight of you naked save his bunched up t-shirt driving him absolutely wild. It was like you belonged here, with him, in his bed. It wasn’t that he no longer wanted to kill you but that he couldn’t.

What little bit of self control he’d still been clinging to up until now shatters, and Tomura snaps his hips into your upturned ass: once, twice, three times. The sticky squelching between your bodies increases in volume, echoing inside his skull like a ricocheting bullet as he watches your face screw up at the sudden force. It doesn’t even matter though. He’s long since reached his limit and, with a wounded grunt, he slams into you one final time, lurching over your prone body.

The sound that comes out of his mouth as he shudders and violently paints your pink guts is, frankly, embarrassing. But he’s riding a high too great to care, clinging to you hard enough to make his joints ache and you whimper in discomfort. He can’t stop though. He’s cumming so hard, pulse after pulse, that it feels like his soul actually slips out of his body for a worryingly long beat before returning in fragmented pieces. The same, but also somehow different. Like he’d experienced rebirth in the warm, comforting clutch of your drenched cunt.

He wheezes as if he’d been stabbed in the chest when he finally eases his softening cock out of you some time later.

Tomura was completely spent, both physically and mentally. His wobbly legs could hardly support his weight anymore but, with a strength of mind he hadn’t even realized he possessed, he directs a shaky finger to your clit again. You squirm in response, huffing after that rough treatment, but he soothes you with hushed words and a gentle touch to the delicate little pearl he barely even needs to brush against to have you shaking for him.

“Relax. You feel good, don’t you? Let me hear those pretty sounds again, baby.”

Obstinately, you purse your lips together to deny him even that one simple request. Tomura heaves a tired sigh, wishing you weren’t such a brat, but he doesn’t let up. The gentle circles he rubs into your clit with the pad of his finger slowly brings you around though, grudgingly, and he can’t quite deny the satisfaction that sparks in his throat when your mouth warbles open to let loose the sweetest, tiny moan he’s ever heard.

“Nngh … Tomu-nii …!”

“Don't fight it. I want you to feel good too, yknow.” He pauses, tongue glancing over his dry lips. “Will you cum for me, sweetheart?”

You shake your head, eyes screwing shut, but the way your body continues to tense up seems to suggest otherwise. He could tell you were practically thrumming with it, burning from the inside out even as his milky white discharge slowly oozes down your slit to pool in the seat of the diaper. It was unexpectedly exciting to watch, disproportionately naughty given how utterly unappealing the crinkly plastic was at first glance, and he picks up the pace of his rubbing.

“I think you’re lying again. You liked how it felt when I was inside you, right? This will be even better, I promise. You’ll love it. I know you will.”

Weakly writhing on top of his bed, you crack your eyes open to peer up at him again. “T - Tomu-nii … I can’t … ahh. Ahh. Ahh! I … I’m … ahh! Tomu-niiiii!”

You suddenly jerk, tossing your head back against the sheets, and he watches in rapt fascination as you quake so hard it nearly catches him off guard. It wasn’t the seductive, rolling tremors he was used to seeing in porn videos but, rather, a full bodied spasm that had you twisting as if to get away. Your thighs try to clamp shut around his hand but he elbows them apart, refusing to let up until he’d milked your orgasm as thoroughly as you’d milked his.

And you looked so pretty, too. Caught up in mind numbing pleasure so intense he couldn’t even begin to fathom what you were feeling. Even his own earth shattering release seemed to pale in comparison to this, and it takes you much longer to start coming down from it than it did him.

Your hair is a mess by the time you’re done, matted in some places and sticking to your damp forehead in others. For a fleeting moment, Tomura can almost see the adult woman you should have been when your face goes slack in ecstasy and your flushed lips were parted to suck in as much oxygen as you could get. He imagines you were probably no stranger to pleasures of the flesh, not with that body and those looks, so the thought that he could make you feel this good was a bit like a pat on the back for him. It was probably just beginners luck, but that didn’t stop him from feeling any less proud of himself.

Slowly, he takes his hands off you and steps back. The spot between your legs was absolutely covered in fluid, your sticky, copious slick mixing with his spunk to make a truly viscous concoction that clung to your damp curls. He thinks that he should probably clean you up again and reaches for the baby wipes, but stops himself short.

The idea that crosses his mind is very likely foul, perhaps even more offensive than anything else he’d done til now, but … a quick glance at your sloppy pussy proves too great a temptation. There was something inherently erotic about making you walk around with his semen dripping out of you, even if it was only going to be absorbed by the diaper, and he shuffles close again with his heart in his throat.

Tomura hasn’t the slightest clue what he’s doing and it takes him a long moment to figure out the tape tabs on the sides. He gets frustrated halfway through the process, struggling to make sure the crinkly plastic was secure enough around your waist, but by some miracle you stay relatively still through all of his fumbling. He isn’t quite sure how he got so lucky but he doesn’t stop to question it, hawkishly focusing all of his attention on the task at hand.

At length, he straightens to admire his work. It’s not perfect by any means but he’s pretty sure the damned thing wasn’t going to fall off as soon as you stood up so there was that. The diaper itself was just as obnoxiously girly as everything else in the gym bag; a soft, lilac purple with a flowery, cartoon bunny design on them. He didn’t mind the rabbits so much, and it was certainly preferable to the onesie, but he still thought you’d look nice in something a bit cooler.

The realization that he was thinking about this in such quaint, fuzzy terms chills Tomura to the bone, and his gaze flicks to your face so he can ask what you think of them. Even if only to distract himself from his own uncomfortably perverse change of heart.

But you were already asleep. He probably should have expected as much, and he could tell you were actually snoozing this time by the shallow, even rise and fall of your chest. A strange sense of embarrassment washes over him and he reaches out to delicately take the hem of his shirt between thumb and finger so he can tug it back down into place. You only snuggle further into the mattress though, getting comfortable, and further cementing the notion that he had, indeed, fucked up.

He’d never be able to get rid of you now.

Grumbling under his breath, Tomura leans over you with one hand braced on the mattress. The other slips between your legs, unable to squeeze shut now with the bulk of the diaper between them, and ever so carefully cups his palm over your crotch. It was cool to the touch, but if he pushed down hard enough he could feel the warmth of your body bleeding through. You let out a quiet huff in response, petulant towards him even in your sleep, and he can’t quite stop himself from laughing. It was absurd. It was strange. It was strikingly, unequivocally weird, but he was almost glad he hadn’t disintegrated you or strangled you to death.

This wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind when he’d wished for a woman he could do with as he pleased and not have to worry about her running away, but … it was close enough, he supposed.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #318

“what can you do, where can ya go, when your mama is a burnout, and your daddy is a pyro?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah. Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? Oh, I have no idea. That's something I avoid like the plague because I loathe my body. When was the last time you got high? Never. Do you get along with your parents? Yeah. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No, I don't fuck with that stuff. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don't answer numbers I don't recognize to begin with. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? Nooooo. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot of 'em. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Have you ever walked through a forest at night on your own? Uh, no sir. When was the last time you were in a graveyard? It's been many, many years. Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? Yep, used to make 'em. How many items are in your recycle bin? (On your computer!) Oh yikes, probably loads. I haven't emptied it in... I don't know how long. Would you rather be a bird or a fish? A bird. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Joker. Heath Ledger's is my favorite. Have you ever had a pet rock? No. How much do you weigh? Yeah, no. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking nature photographs. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don’t do roller coasters to begin with. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Ugh, hell no. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Are you attracted to people outside of your race? Yes. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Best cough drop? Those creamy strawberry ones. If you have a pet, does it make a lot of noise? One's a snake, so she's silent as could be. My cat is generally quiet, but he has his times where he just walks around meowing, normally for attention. Are you a fan of eyeshadow? If I actually wear makeup, yeah, I like black eyeshadow. Can you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi? Absolutely. I don't like Pepsi. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, didn't feel weird. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? A Silent Hill poster. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yeah, as a kid. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. What was the title of the last song you listened to? So today I've really been digging dark synthwave/cyberpunk-ish music, and right now I have a playlist on that's currently playing "DNA War" by Absolute Valentine and Billy Mays. How far away is the closest Walmart? Not even five minutes. Can you do a backflip? No. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Well, Ozzy is the lead singer of Ozzy Osbourne, haha. When was the last time you went fishing? Not since Sara visited and we went catfishing with my dad one night. What brand of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? My mom, lmaoooo. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Also my mom, haha. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Juan's maybe like... 28 or something by now, idk. Have you ever run a stoplight? No. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? YIKES, no. That sounds miles beyond awkward. Are both your parents still living? Yeah, thankfully. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music, for sure. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I do find those super cute. What gives you a quality of life? Not much nowadays, idk. What would give you a high quality of life? A sense of purpose, direction, and worth. Do you have any rugs on top of carpet in your home? We have a big one in our living room, yes. I don't get it. Do you have a mattress cover on your bed? Yeah. Do you hate taking naps during the day? No; naps are normal for me. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Maybe I'm biased, but I genuinely do think Mark for a multitude of reasons. He's just extremely likable imo and sincerely a fucking spectacular human being. Do you have any vinyl records? No, but I would love to collect classic rock and metal ones. Which serial killer(s) do you find most fascinating? I'm quite honestly not well-informed in serial killer stories. I think they're interesting, but not enough for me to learn about them. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's fuckin dope. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL OF THEM AHHHH!!!!! But I particularly love learning about social animals, like meerkats (mongoose in general, really), African wild dogs, wolves, etc. What are your thoughts on gun control? I don't support the idea of banning firearms altogether, but I am very much in favor of some reform. There needs to be a much, much more strict and complex system in order for you to legally own a gun, and I also support periodic "check ups" to ensure you still fit whatever criteria is laid out. "Bad people will still find guns;" yes, some most certaintly will, but you can't convince me that the numbers wouldn't decrease. It would take a serious villain to put so much effort into pursuing obtaining a firearm. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure do. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I've blocked people to prevent that. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I cherish the plush meerkat Jason gave me most, probably; out of my Silent Hill stuff, the limited edition Revelation flyer I have in Japanese. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? Hi, meet my best friend lmao. Are there any musicians you didn’t like at first, but grew on you? Probably. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? Not really. Well wait, Ozzy signing my copy of his autobiography would be pretty damn cool. Do you like any board games or card games? I'm not really a board game fan, but Magic: The Gathering is fun as far as card games go. What historical figure(s) are you most interested in? I'm not incredibly interested in any, but I do think Pharaoh Hatshepsut was a bad bitch. She was one of the extremely few female pharaohs, and if my memory serves me right, one of the most successful. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I sure do. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Yes, because I was getting strange texts from numbers I didn't know. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. What’s your favourite comic book/graphic novel? I don’t read any. What is something you take pride in? How far I've come as far as my mental illnesses go, particularly depression and PTSD. What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I'm not getting up to go look. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No; I hate lettuce on burgers, so. What brand is your vaccuum cleaner? Dunno. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Sure, but I don't believe it's a must for everyone. Plenty of people don't even want to get married. Be intimate once you're comfortable with the person, and be safe and smart about it. Are you for or against abortion? I'm pro-choice. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? It's fact that I need to. My body just doesn't want to, afuckingpparently. All I seem to be capable of is either maintain or gain nowadays. Is summer your favorite season? It's my least favorite, actually. Do you wear glasses? I'm basically blind without 'em. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? Yeah, in German. What do you want out of life? To feel like I made a difference, even if it's a small one. Do you ever get carsick? No. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore, no. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly? No. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Oh boy, probably not since I had my cyst in I think '16. I was in so much agony and we had no painkillers, so I had to wake up Mom to go to Walmart to grab some. They barely even helped at all. God, I couldn't imagine dealing with that again. Were your last two kisses with the same person? Yes. Do you have alcohol in your house? I don't think we do right now, no. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? Yeah; I don't wear anything that shows my legs unless I shaved, but I will never wear a dress that isn't at least past my knees. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? Avril Lavigne was/is an ICON. I still think she looks badass. So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say the opposite, but I say "gif" now. Apparently that's how the creator of the term says it anyway. When you are invited to things like wedding showers or baby showers do you tend to go or skip? What about graduation parties? If Mom is able to take me, I'll try to go to the first two if they're my closer friends. Do you like spicy chips? Oh FUCK yes. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf with Sara's fam. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. Dad's, only the month. Do you read your friends' surveys? Yep, I love learning about them. Do you know anyone with a glass eye? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you ever use the n-word? Absolutely not. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I tend to like lip piercings. Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah, multiple times as a kid, "camping" in the yard with Dad, haha. What do you call your grandparents? I called both sets just "Grammy" and "Grampa." Have you ever cried while reading a book? Oh, certainly. How many college degrees do you want? I got none, and I'm not going back to college. Do you know how to play pool? What about foosball? Yes. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey with my dad a few times. Do you own any jerseys? No. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; that's why I had braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Maybe like... Victor. Idk. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a soup person. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yeah. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? My pre-teen and teenage years house: in the woods on a dead-end road and down a gravel path that everyone always missed when learning where our house was. The actual road itself had very, very little traffic, and there was a large expanse of cotton fields. I loved it and miss the house itself, but it's got a lot of bad memories rotting in it. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My niece and nephew. <3 Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. We barely interact at all. Does one side of your family live in another state? Literally none of my extended family (or half-siblings) live in NC. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No. Is there a good hospital where you live? God no. It is notoriously awful. When was the last time you were asked out? Did you accept or decline? Mid-2017. I aceepted. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? N/A Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? Yeah. Probably white/ivory or black. Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? No, I don't like the texture. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? Probably not. What’s your favorite amusement park? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Do you play video games? If so, what kind? Yeah. My favorite are horror games, but I also love me some story-driven survival games like The Last of Us, and then there's "kids" games like Spyro, etc. I like a looot of different kinds. Would you buy used clothes? I don't think so. I know it's easy to wash clothes and stuff, I'd just still feel kinda... grossed out by it.

[humankoalaa]

BLACK LIGHTNING!!!

*spoilers ahead*

okay season 3 let’s get this started...

you don’t know the name of your enhancement but basically you can blend into anything? .... sis.. you a whole lizard. it’s law.

the really filled sis locker with pork ribs. them kids ain’t shit 🤣

devonte 🤣🤣🤣🤣 this man said only enhancements i got is hypertension and type 2 diabetes i can’t and i will not play with whoever wrote this episode 🤣🤣🤣🤣 lawd this show gon send my ass straight to hell.

Jefferson need some chapstick. ooooo and some grooming. them grays popping.

oh no soon as he threw up i was drinking a caprisun and eating some real liquidy cabbage smh threw that shit straight in the trash. im mad as hell. that cabbage was everything 😩

swear they always wanna blame black lightning for everything meanwhile his ass don’t do shit but take L’s 😖

“clapback news” 🤣🤣 i don’t think that was meant to be funny but here we are

listen.. whoever created nafessa williams is selfless as hell. like it ain’t no good got damn reason why she’s so beautiful. i could cry.

ned and the officer dude fighting and i dead ass don’t know which one is the meta.

well.... rip ned.

jenn..... you good sis?

nafessa 😍😍😍😍😍😍 keep rolling them eyes.

Ooo bih that side eye 😍

betty 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 yaaaasssss bitch. i hope she don’t die tho...

“i don’t give two shakes of a lambs ass” YOU KNOW WHAT 😩🤣🤣 Henderson still my dawg.

commander carson need to go. its been bout 10 minutes and im already tied of his shit.

lynn a freak and Jeff’s just like slow down bae feds is watching 😩 Lynn ass tawm bout I don’t care 🤣🤣🤣🤣

i swear odell is worst than fruit flies. get on my damn nerves.

that jeep is everything aka that thunder bike better not make an appearance this season.

PAUSE. I KNOW DAMN WELL ANISSA DONT GOT AN ALEXA IN HER LOFT NAMED SHONDA 🤣🤣🤣😂

chaka khan yassssss!

this loft is everything right.... but ... we know anissa really don’t work so like explain 😩

anissa listening to sweet thing cause she misses grace. periodt. don’t @ me.

jesus this woman 😍🤤😫 its not fair.

sickle cell for metas 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

blackbird can beat my ass to hell and back.

LMAO the way they all sat back down on the bus

i thought the reverend died and im pretty sure i thought that last season too but at least he’s not screaming. growth. ugh. im proud.

ion like or trust this reporter.

rev always got some 🔥 ass suits.

why they got blackbird sounding like Batman 😩

oooooooo im here for whoever this girl is that looks like she has the same powers as jenn 👀

anissa knowing thats her boo out there just being well whatever she wants to be 😭 my mother’s.

grace......people are friends.... not food.

and i know damn well her ass can shape back into a person and eat a burger but no we out here shifting into leopards and eating people. childish.

this reporter sus.

anissa 🤣🤣🤣🤣 swear she stays sizing people up. that side eye could cut class 😍

reporter girl you gotta formally introduce yourself before telling people exactly where you saw them 😩

first of all jamila, anissa is taken... sort of ..she dating a mammal possibly an amphibian but she’s taken. okay? you will not break up my messy home.

no. NO. nooooo. they say ask and you shall receive i ain’t ask for shit so jamila better be shit at basketball tear her acl whatever but you will not shoot your shot right in front of my rasberries jamila. you will not.

awh lawd anissa done got that look 😩

Heavenly Father, i come to you humbly willing and able on bended knee lord i ask that you leadeth anissa out this damn bar alone and guideth her back home to shonda 😩 amen.

FATHER I LITERALLY ASKED YOU FOR ONE THING.

fontella bass rescue me?! really?! 🤣🤣 this show and the choice of music for certain scenes never dissapoints.

as a lesbian my spirit gave me no other choice than to convince myself that grace shifted into jamila. write that down.

“dammit woman this is not an interview” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 MOOD.

grace would never. yes im bitter! she would’ve waited till after to ruin the moment 😩 im still not over her waking up in bed with anissa and ruining pillow talk for like the rest of my life.

but this scene tho. lawd. 🔥 how are there straight women in the world!! HOW?!

“come here” and the face grab kiss sequence has been trademarked by anissa pierce. what a time to be alive.

I CANT they dead ass did jamila dirty 😩 pillow talk about the girl you just slept with ex? ... chile. ima just say thanks idk why but that’s just where im at.

wait what just happened... did jamila just use anissa to try get info orrrr ...

“oh it’s over buddy goodnight” 🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣

OMG im an idiot i dead ass though the lightning remix was another meta like lightning whole time it’s been jenn 😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️

why they got tobias looking like cranky kong 😩

awh lawd this man gon kill issa cause tobias done said too much 😩 please let me be wrong. PLZ.

smfh. like i dare you to be anymore heartless Odell. issa deserved better 😪💔

wow now this termite just straight lying about issa 😒

🤣🤣🤣🤣 all he had to do was shut the hell up.

blackbird a bad bitch but i miss the thunderclap.

PAUSE. i know anissa ain’t dead but like get up.

gambi being the best always ❤️

but like let jenn use her powers man. she’s literally the strongest got damn superhero in the show and did we forget she can fly at the speed of light or? well guess we’re not there yet. gah. free my auntie man.

this motherfucker lala 🤣🤣 like just die already and stay dead.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 14 - SO I hear ya'll like updates? How about full chapters? Talk to me?

Eren felt revolted with himself. The pup inside of barely looked human., the growth was terrifying to see on screen. His first thought was that the tiny pup looked like some kind of mutant, his heart racing as he wondered if the little life was in pain. It was so much smaller than their sibling, the guilt too much as looked from the screen. Yet the image was burned into his mind. He didn't know what to do now. He hated himself for thinking Levi's child looked so disturbing and disgusting, especially when Levi was so in love with them. His alpha wanted these pups so badly, but everyone was talking aborting, and making plans for his future without him. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He knew he was a bad omega... that's how they made it seem. Females and female omegas got sympathy from the staff discussing his case, while he just felt shunned. Judged over his dynamic... They might be awesome at their jobs, they wouldn't be at the hospital if they weren't, but he felt so dirty. Levi would be furious if he told him, so he hadn't. The staff were so much more politer to Levi about everything. They'd explained it to him, and possibly outcomes. Treating Levi like an equal, because there was no way at all an omega could understand anything. They could all fuck off. He hadn't even been able spend New Year's night with Viren. He'd been forced to finish Anna's birthday present in hospital, where they didn't appreciate his arts and crafts project. He'd bought the girl a proper high quality gold locket, it was large for her size, but knowing she'd grow into it. The project they hadn't like was when he'd carefully sealed two small photos with a water proof coating. One photo was of Anna just after her birth, while the other was from the photo of Moblit from the night of his 20th birthday when they'd all been so happy. Moblit might be gone, but he know how fiercely he would loved her. He wanted to make sure Anna knew that every single day of her life. Levi's gift to the little girl was paying for her ears to be pierced, not that his alpha knew. Levi would have probably tried to gift her cleaning supplies if he could have. Hardly the right gift for a four year old who was a total little miss. After 8 long days in hospital, he was finally released. In his opinion it was 8 days too many, and he definitely wasn't going to miss being there. Hanji had come to see him after his blow up, but he just wasn't ready to talk to her about it. He didn't want her apology, or her forcing a conversation about everything but the pup. He'd wanted more time to figure out everything with Levi. Levi was the father after all. Levi talked to him like he had brain cells. With Levi "supporting" him into their apartment, he was beyond relieved to be back home. Viren running ahead of them to jump on the sofa, sending Titan running with his happy yelling. Their son having decided that he wanted to wear pyjamas all day, or at least that was what Levi told him when he they'd come to pick him up. All Eren wanted was a shower and 10 years worth of sleep in his own bed. The stupid clean smell of the hospital had left him feeling nauseous for days. It wasn't the same smell as when Levi cleaned the apartment, and his alpha's scent wasn't there to push everything else away "I have a split shift, so I'll be out from 6 to 12, is there anything you want?" "A shower. Then some sleep..." "Do you want a hand?" Nope. He didn't want Levi looking at his body or his stomach. He didn't want anyone looking at his body or his stomach "No. I'll be ok. Why don't you spend some time with Viren? If I take a nap, I should be alright to sit up with him tonight" "I don't mind putting him to bed before I head out" It might not have been Levi's intention to make him feel like the alpha didn't think he could handle their son, but his omega went right there. He'd missed Viren so much, and really wanted to rest so he having extra long cuddles with his son. Finding himself nodding, Levi kissed him on the cheek "I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you, and I remade our bed" "I'm sorry. I think I want to take a nap in my old room... I'm just..." "No. It's ok. You do whatever you need to. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait" You don't just tell someone that, then end it with "but it can wait". It was as bad as "We need to talk". What the hell was supposed to do with this piece of information now? Was Levi not under the impression that he was only mimicking a functional human being, when in reality, he was dead on his feet? He couldn't do the words, let alone the adulting. At least not until he'd showered and gotten every bit of shitty hospital scent off. Did Levi not know how much he was looking forward to not having to shower using a shower chair, under the supervision of a nurse because they thought he was going run off through the hospital naked? He wasn't actually sure if that was what they thought, he just didn't appreciate the hovering "Eren?" "Sorry. I'm too tired to think" "It's alright. Go take a shower, and get some sleep. It's nice to have you home" Nice. Not "Welcome back to where you belong". Fuck. He'd missed his omega, and the constant love it filled him with his for children. Now it could kindly fuck off again. It only had one job and that was more of a background feeling that the had push past its constant insecurities to feel. Now that he was home, it'd be easier to hide his thoughts and feelings from Levi. Levi had work. He had Viren to distract him, and Titan. He missed the fat cat, and had gone overboard with Christmas presents. Titan had been gifted a new grooming brush, new collar, a new tag, a new water bowl that was a fountain so he always had fresh water, a new feeding station, a new bed, and new scratching post. Levi has teased him for it all, but he couldn't help it. Levi's overweight tom was probably his best friend, as he was so much easier to deal with than people were. Cuddles, pats and food. He liked the exact same things, and Titan was just the right size to be warm and comforting as he slept back to back with him, or tried to wedge himself above the swell of Eren's stomach, and below the pile of pillows Eren liked to use. Starting to walk across the room, Levi closed the door with enough force that he flinched "Sorry, it slipped. Before I forget, I left your mail in your room for you. I think there was a package and few envelopes" "Thanks. I'll look at them later" He didn't remember ordering anything, not that he could remember much of anything... fuck... it was definitely bed time. * Viren had come climbing into his bed on his own. Eren had thought sleep would be easy to find, but the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind decided it wanted to be wide awake. His thoughts running circles as he attempted to get comfortable. If anything, his bed was too comfortable, his body melting into the softness of his blankets, and the comfort of familiar scents. Pulling his son to him, he pressed kisses to Viren's hair. The boy was beautiful. Everything about him was so perfect, even if things had been strained between them, he could never hate him "Hey, baby. Have you been having fun with daddy?" "Daddy let me wear my pyjamas!" His son sounded so damn proud of the fact "Did he?" "Yep! And we watched 'toons!" "You love your "toons", don't you baby. What about Anna, have you been playing with her?" "She's a girl" "Yep. She sure is... where's daddy now?" "Daddy's in the food" So daddy was in the kitchen. Ok "And you thought you'd come see mummy. You know what that means?" Viren looked at him wide eyes "Kisses!" "Mummy! Nooooo!" Blowing raspberries on Viren's cheeks, his son screamed with laughter. So loud that Levi came to check "Viren, I told you not to disturb mummy. Sorry, Eren. I'll take him" But... cuddles. Viren would probably get demanding soon, but this was nice "He's alright" "You need your rest" "I am resting" "Viren, come to daddy" Daddy was still his favourite, yet Viren was sweet enough to look torn "It's ok baby, you go with daddy" "Mum?" "If you stay with mummy, there's going to be more kisses" Pursing his lips, his son squealed in anticipation. Kissing at the hands that tried to push him away, Viren managed to kick up and against his chest "Viren!" Scolding him, Viren was confused by his father's tone. Sure it'd hurt, but his son hadn't meant it. Tears welled in Viren's grey eyes "It's ok baby. You didn't hurt mummy" "I'm sorry!" "No. No, baby..." Wiggling away from his hold, Viren started to cry the boy stubbornly climbing off the bed to run off past Levi "Did you have to scold him like that?" "You're supposed to be resting" "I was having cuddles with Viren, not running a marathon!" "Don't get mad at me for worrying about you" "I'm in bed. I'm resting. Viren just wanted a cuddle and I wanted to give him kisses" Coming running back, Viren had his favourite teddy in his hold. Ignoring Levi, the little boy climbed back on the bed, shoving the bear in Eren face "Mummy!" "Hello, Mister Bear..." "Mister Bear wants to make mummy better..." Eren heart melted "Thank you baby, but I think Mister Bear is telling me he wants to be with you" Viren beamed at him, even with tear tracks down his face "We can share. Just this once though" "Ok baby. Mummy is going to have a sleep, do you want to stay with me? Or go with daddy?" Viren looked to his teddy, nodding as if it was talking to him "I want to stay with mummy" Ha. Suck it, Levi! "Ok, here we go, come curl up with mummy. Mummy missed you" Shifting the blankets, Viren moved into his hold. Mister Bear between them "I guess I'll go then... I'll be home a little longer, if you need anything" "We'll be fine" "Call if you do. Seriously, you need to be resting" "Levi, it's fine. I can handle a three year old who wants cuddles" What he couldn't handle was a 40 year alpha who was hovering as if he really couldn't handle their toddler. Blocking Levi out, Eren leaned over and pressed a kiss to Viren's forehead, surprised when the boy returned the gesture. This was far better medicine than anything he'd had in hospital. * Levi was at work when Viren had woken him, his son shaking him awake to tell him he didn't want to go to sleep. What did it matter if Viren didn't want to sleep? He'd stayed for cuddles until he was content to run off, and now he wanted more cuddles again... he'd take them, even when they were an excuse not to go to bed. Lifting his son, Eren carried him out the sofa, dropping Viren down in the corner with a smile "Did daddy give you ice cream?" Viren shook his head. It didn't really matter if he had. He wanted ice cream and Viren didn't want to sleep. They had hours until Levi came home again "Do you want sprinkles? Or chocolate?" Viren hummed as if he were considering his options, when they both knew what it was going to be "Both!" Yep. He knew it "Ok baby. Give mummy a second" A second might have been a generous understatement. First he had to use the bathroom, then he had to make sure Titan had his wet food, and that there was water in his fountain, followed by checking the fridge for fruit. He had no idea why Levi insisted on storing the banana's in the fridge. They lived on the bench, in their bowl, where they were remembered. It was their home... not the bottom shelf of the fridge where they didn't belong "Muuuuum?" "Give me a sec baby!" Fuck it. He couldn't remember if he's ever had a banana split, or at least one like in the movies, but he was sure Viren hadn't. They had to be slightly healthy, right?. Nuts, dairy and fruit... and chocolate... oh... fuck it. It was worth it if it made Viren happy. They could all use some happiness in their lives. Settling down with Viren, the two of the shared the banana split as they watched Viren's choice in movies, something with super heroes he didn't know. Usually he was stuck with Anna's choice. She'd try and sit through the things Viren liked, but the moment there was a break, the program was changed before they knew what happened. The only time it didn't happen is when Eren had hold of the remote. Sitting with his legs along the sofa, Viren on his thighs, and his stomach as the table, both he and Viren jumped at the knock on the front door "Daddy!" It was too soon for Levi to be home. Scrambling off his lap, the toddler went running to the front door. He hasn't conquered the lock yet, so all he could do was hold the knob with both hands and swing against it impatiently "Mum!" "Mum's too fat to rush. Hold on" Stupid stomach. Being a table was about all it was good for... he couldn't stand it. And he couldn't cope with his hate for it, as one pup in there was still doing just fine. Knocking again, Eren was ready to ignore it completely. All their friends should know better than to knock twice, in his current condition, and delivery people didn't come this late at night. Levi had made dinner, so it definitely wasn't pizza. Hitching the chain on, he flicked the bolt round so Viren could open the door. Shooting him an annoyed glare, his son wasn't happy that it didn't open all the way. Forced to poke his head around the corner, his son huffed "You're not my daddy" The toddler than shutting the door in the face of their visitor "Viren..." He couldn't be mad at the boy for his bad manners, not when he wanted to do the same. Opening the door, he sighed, prepared to apologise for Viren's behaviour "Hello, Eren. It's been a while. I'm hoping we can talk" His first instinct was to slam the door in Floch's face. "A while" had been over two years. A while" hadn't been long enough "Eren, did you get the letter?" "What letter?" His voice was sky high, confused as fuck... and leading to Floch raising an eyebrow "Sorry. I've been in hospital since... well, a while" "I'm sorry to call so late. But when I didn't hear back from you, I thought it best I come tell you that you've been summonsed to appear" "Hold on. I have no idea what you're talking about" "I'm talking about the Karanes Incident. Look, can I come in? It's easier than doing this through the door" "Levi isn't home right now..." It was just him and Viren. He didn't need a panic attack, or his nosy three year old hearing anything "I did try to keep you out of it, but the trials going ahead. It starts in two weeks time, which means there's a lot to cover" Floch wasn't listening him. Why was he so shocked that an alpha wouldn't listen to him in his own home? "Hold on. Let me do the chain... Viren's just had sugar... He's either going to ignore you, or have a tantrum... you've got shit timing. I just got out today..." Talking more to himself, in an attempt to clam down, than to Floch, Eren closed the front door. Once again tempted to leave it closed. Karanes was years ago... Letting Floch in, Viren wasn't happy about it. His son refusing to go to bed, or to watch TV when there was a stranger in their house. Lowering himself down into a dining chair, he couldn't help but shy away as Floch's eyes drifted to his stomach "Congratulations" "This isn't about that..." "Viren..." "Floch. You're not here to discuss my personal life. I've been in hospital since just before the New Year, and now you're showing up on my doorstep. What is all this about?" "You don't need to be on guard" "Excuse me. I haven't seen you in years. I would have been fine without seeing you ever again. What is this trial? You said it wouldn't go to trial" "Because I didn't think it would. When The Church fell apart, the fall out was huge. Ministers. Politicians. Police. Their influence was wide spread" "I know that. Probably better than you do" Floch disregarded his curt words "One of the politicians is kicking up trouble in order to clear his name. The case is against both the Karanes and Shinganshima Police Departments" "And how does this relate to me?" "You are the son of Grisha Yeager. We know he worked for them for over a decade. It was you, and he, who destroyed the compound" "We both know..." "That you were involved. He's determined to show that the statement you provided, is nothing more than speculation" "So he needs someone to blame?" "Unfortunately. We did know there was a chance of this going to trial, and we attempted to keep you out of it. But as the only one who was actually there... if he can discredit you, he feels it'll go a long way to overturning the charges against him and his friends" "And if I don't testify?" "You risk being arrested" "I'm sorry. But I can't. I've got too much going on here" "Eren, he could walk" "And I'm pregnant. There's things in this world that we can't change" "Eren" "I gave you my statement. If they have questions, can't you just like... forward them on?" "His defence team is going to want to talk to you" "I can't do it" "Eren..." "I can't! Ok! I can't and I won't. I've been trying my hardest to forget all of it. Zeke. Grisha. Reiner. Bertholdt. All of it! I just want to be left alone" Wincing, Eren rubbed his stomach as pain flared across it, he wanted Floch out and the last thing he wanted was to go into labour or something. He didn't want to disappoint Levi "Eren. You've been summonsed" "And what? I'm an omega. We both know how that works" "That's why I tried to keep you out of it" Ouch. Yeah. No. Floch had to go. Rising to his feet, he glared down at Floch "I told you everything I knew. You have my statement. You have Levi's statement. Viren and Levi both nearly died from what happened. I will not let anyone hurt my family like that again" "If you don't testify, these people will be walking free" "They're not people. They're shit in human skins" "Then you should know we can let them get away with this. I've brought some photos, if you can identify any of them..." "It's been three and a half years! Nearly 4..." "You just have to look" "Leave my mummy alone!" Yelling at Floch, Floch didn't care. Placing down the file he'd brought with him, he placed it down in front of Eren. Eren sliding it back as he held one arm out, Viren not moving to his hold "Viren. Baby. It's ok" "You upset my mum..." "Viren, it's ok. He's leaving" His son continued to glare, Eren kind of proud his son wasn't letting himself be intimated "I'll leave this with you. And give you the night to think this over, and to talk to Levi about it" "I'm not going to change my answer" "There's actually a copy of your statement in there. I wanted to gauge your reaction. Read it. Think about it. Then we'll discuss those photos tomorrow" Floch saw himself out, like it was perfectly fine and normal. Eren frozen in his seat as he stared down at the manila file laying on the dining table. Why now? Why on top of this? "Mum?" He couldn't even look to Viren. His eyes glued to the stupid file. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to go back to that place, even if it was through words on paper. He didn't need to read the thing to remember. He couldn't forget, even if he wanted to. Levi bore the scars of his past. He bore the scars of his past "Mum?!" Anything he said would be pulled to pieces. Floch knew that. That's why he didn't want him around the case. Anything he touched fell to pieces. Anything he touched, he corrupted. Levi... Zeke. Moblit. His father. His mother. Viren. He'd nearly killed his son giving birth to him. He had. Levi had said Erwin had worked on him... The pup inside him... he'd broken them... Then there were the people he'd worked with. Zeke had burnt the club down. Zeke had killed the people who'd chained him up. He'd left a trail of destruction wherever he'd been "Mummy... you're scaring me..." His arm dropped. He was scaring his son... "Baby. It's time for bed" "Mum?" "Don't argue with me, baby" "I don't want to go to bed!" "Viren, please..." "I don't want to go!" "Then go watch TV! Just give me a break!" The moment the words came out his mouth, his face burnt with shame. Viren didn't understand. Covering his face, he shook his head. He couldn't fucking breathe. This... this couldn't be happening... His father had destroyed the compound. He'd seen it burn. All of it was gone. Whatever this was. This had nothing to do with him... This was Floch's mess. Floch was the one who'd gone after them all... "I'm sorry, baby. Can you please go watch TV?" He needed Levi home. He couldn't calm down... he couldn't calm down and he couldn't breathe. Not when this stupid file was here... He couldn't call Levi. Not on the night of his first day home. Not when he'd been rude to him earlier. He couldn't just call him home to save him from a panic attack... * Walking into his apartment, Levi had expected the silence. He'd sent Viren in to wake Eren when the boy hadn't wanted to go to sleep for him... what he hadn't expected was the foreign scent of an alpha he didn't know. In an apartment filled with his and Eren's scents, it stuck out like a neon sign, just as pungent and unwelcoming as Eren's scent of distress. Yet. Instead of focusing on that, his alpha was focusing on the real question. Who the fuck had been in their apartment and why? "Eren? Are you awake?" Locking the door, Levi shrugged off his jacket as he walked towards the laundry. His uniform stank, and with his heart racing, he was trying to calm down with an act of normalcy. Clothes off, laundry on then time for a shower. Trying Eren's door, he found it locked. Knocking lightly, he got no answer. He was still yet to tell his omega he was quitting work. Eren hadn't wanted to talk while he was in hospital. He'd mostly kept everyone at an arms length, only conveying the things he needed from home. Hanji has tried to talk to him, but she'd gone and put her foot right in it. He wasn't impressed either. Neither of them had truly had time to process, or talk. Eren's fever had returned, the medication administered had left him fading in and out of consciousness. Not that Eren had noticed, he'd start to talk, only to trail off a few moments later, and pick right up again as if he'd never fallen asleep in the first place. Levi had been trying to ask Hanji to leave before she decided to pick a fight with Eren. He knew Marco hadn't been in to see Eren, as Marco didn't even know Eren had been in hospital. Erwin had tried to push, earning himself a black eye in the process due to his lack of sensitivity over the situation. Mike had been decent enough to leave it as "Eren has an infection". Erwin had tried to calm him, calling it "a simple infection that didn't require so much worry". It was the morning after the Hanji debacle, and he'd ended up telling Erwin to "shut the fuck up, because he had no idea what he was talking about". This lead to questions and he'd acted without thinking. Knocking on Eren's door again, his omega stayed locked away from him. Part of him wanted to kick the stupid door in, while the more rational part of his brain told him to break Eren's trust by finding the spare key too it, and letting himself... He forced himself to do no neither. Returning to their bedroom, minus the Eren that had turned him room into theirs, with the hope that his mate would wake before he left for work. Maybe the could even have breakfast together, and discuss his retirement then. When his alarm blared at him at stupid o'clock, Levi was sorely tempted to destroy his phone. His face was frozen to the point his nose was running, and that was with the majority of him buried under Eren's blankets. Shivering as he climbed from their bed, he growled softly as he walked into the living area. The curtains that usually hid the balcony from sight, were fluttering in the cold winds of the morning. No wonder it was freezing. Unsure if he'd missed it due to his tiredness last night, or if Eren had opened it without thinking, Levi walked over to the doorway, ready to lock the outside world away. The sun was yet to rise above the city, the world a dismal grey as he shivered again. Pushing the curtain away, he found his omega sitting on the floor of the balcony, Titan laying next to him. This wasn't what needed first thing in the morning. Didn't Eren feel how cold it was? Or was he completely out of it? Stepping onto the balcony, he mentally cursed the weather, and Eren for making him come out here. Squatting down, he placed his hand on Eren's shoulder, his mate so cold that Levi's stomach did that annoying dropping thing it liked to do when something was clearly up with Eren. Forcing his voice to remain soft and calm, he didn't want to scare the omega into trying to jump, or startle him if he was sleep walking "Eren? What are you doing out here?" Blank eyes looked to him, Eren's lips tinged blue. He needed to get his omega inside and warmed up. He was still recovering and his immune system still wasn't up to scratch. Eren's body didn't need the stress of becoming a human popsicle "I'm not having an abortion" Right... ok. His mate wasn't in the best of head spaces "Ok... but that doesn't tell me why you're out here" "I'm wondering why I'm alive" Shit. Just. Shit "Did... did something happen?" "Yeah. I ruined everything" This was not the place for an in depth conversation "Eren. How about we go inside? It's come out here" "Maybe I can freeze to death. Wouldn't that be fucking funny?" There was absolutely nothing funny about that at all "Eren..." "I told myself that I wouldn't let you see... but I guess I just want your attention after all. I don't know why you stay with me" "Eren. Come inside so we can talk" "I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget how bad I was. My existence causes pain" "Eren, no" "I can't even carry your children properly. Did you even want kids? Or was that something else I forced on you?" "You know I did. I do. I love you, and I love Viren. I love the two pups inside of you" "If I die. Do you think everyone can finally be happy?" "If you die, I know I will never be happy. Please, come inside with me" "I'm tired, Levi. No one wants to listen to what I want. Not the hospital. Not Hanji. Not dad. Not Zeke" "I want to listen. Here, come here" Eren let himself be pulled up by him, but didn't make a move to help walk back inside. Titan ran straight in, giving him a look that seemed to say he was watching over Eren until Levi got his shit together. Doing all of the work, he got Eren to the sofa, then backtracking to close the balcony up, making sure the top bolt was done so Eren wouldn't be able to just let himself back out there again. Freezing cold, he made another detour, grabbing the topmost blanket off their bed, before finally returning to Eren's side. Sinking down on the sofa, Levi wrapped the blanket around both of them. He wanted to pull Eren into his lap, but the omega was sitting ramrod straight, now not giving into his touches "Eren, what happened? Can you talk to me?" "It won't change anything" "You don't know that" "I do. Nothing ever changes. I hurt people and they die" "What are you talking about?" "I don't understand why I'm still alive. I shouldn't be alive. Dad should have just killed me off when he killed mum" He was fast growing angry at the lack of sense Eren was making. It was too early for such shit "You're not making sense" "Don't worry. I won't off myself" "Why are you being like this?! You said you needed someone to listen. I'm listening. Shitty Brat, you know I couldn't live if something happened to you" "I told you it won't. I won't harm the pups either. I don't want an abortion" "I..." "Everyone wants me to have one. That's all they talked about" The hospital... But that wasn't the only thing they'd talked about. Every day medical science was improving. There were cases of tumours being removed and the mum's being able to carry safely. That was all depending on the growth of the tumour to begin with "We have options. Weren't you listening?" "Right. You're right. I'm sorry" "Hey. You're not alone in this. I wanted to tell you last night, but I've put in my resignation at work. As of the end of the month, it'll be official" "Why?" The small forced smile on Levi's lips, as he tried to make Eren feel something other than frozen, fell "Why what?" "Why would you quit?" "To be here for you and our children" "So I made you quit" "No. I made the choice for myself" "Would you have done it if I wasn't a bad omega?" "You're not a bad omega! You're my omega. My mate. And you're scaring the shit out of me right now with all this death talk" "I guess I've said too much..." "No. You still haven't told me what set this all off" "I did tell you. All I wanted to do was forget, but I'll never be able to" A nightmare then? It was the most plausible reason for Eren being so upset, his omega had had a nightmare and hadn't wanted to disturb anyone with it "Things will get better. You're still freezing. Why don't you take a bath, while I make us some breakfast?" "No thank you. I'm not hungry" "That's because you're too cold to think straight. If you prefer we can take a bath together. Whatever you need" Placing his hand on Eren's stomach, he wasn't trying to be suggestive, only supportive "How can you touch it?" "Touch what?" "Doesn't my stomach disgust you?" "No. Why would it?" Rubbing the swell, he didn't understand what was disgusting. He loved Eren's swell, and their pups inside. He was worried for their second pup, but that didn't mean that he didn't care for it "I was just wondering" "I love it. It fills me with pride to see you growing swollen again" Leaning in, he kissed the corner of Eren's lips, feeling nothing in return. Eren was definitely trying his hardest to push him away, and that wasn't happening "Let's just take a bath together. I can wash your hair" Rubbing Eren's stomach a little harder, the omega stiffly nodded "Ok then" Getting Eren into the bathtub and between his legs, he felt like being a bad father. He couldn't help himself. Eren was slick thanks to his pregnancy, and his nape was right in front of him, while his hands were resting on Eren's stomach. He knew Eren was struggling, but their sex life had been great until Eren's fatigue, and he missed the feelings that came from knotting him. He wasn't about to do anything up his love, but that didn't mean his mind wasn't thinking of bending Eren over the bathroom counter. He didn't feel sexually frustrated, though things had been stressful for both of them. Maybe a little release was what Eren needed? To not be in his head? Resting his chin on his omega's shoulder, he sighed softly "How do you feel?" "Warmer" "Good. It's going to be cold today, so you should stay inside" "I haven't got anywhere to go" Levi sighed again, this time at himself, before trying to sound playful "You know what I mean" "I do. I wasn't planning on going anywhere" "I have a split shift again, so I'll be home for lunch. Is there something special you want?" "Not really" "Should I just surprise you?" "You don't have to do things for me. You don't have to force yourself" "I'm not forcing myself. I love you" "How can you?" "Easily. I love you. I love you, Eren Yeager, and I'm going to marry your stubborn arse, just to show you every day I do" "You shouldn't have quit work for me" "I did it for us. For the five of us. I'm tired of missing things. I want more time with Viren, and you, and these two. I want time for us. I want to be able to have sex with you, then lay in bed with you. I went to watch bad horror movies and Titan failing to cat" "You want to have sex? When I look like this?" "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever met. You're fierce and fiery, yet you can be so soft and sweet. Your stomach is full of my pups, our family growing as you do. I could never not want you. Your just as sexy inside, as you are outside" Sliding one hand down to grasp his lover's dick, and using the other hand to force Eren to face him, Levi pushed a hard kiss to Eren's lips. He didn't understand what could make Eren feel so undesirable, when he was perfect. Jerking the omega softly slowly as he thumbed at Eren's slit. Eren was going accept he was sexy and did all kinds of things to every part of Levi's anatomy, whether he liked it or not. He wouldn't force himself on his mate, but he could touch him intimately to show he did want to. That's why he kept everything so light, so as not to make him feel forced. The only display of forcefulness was his forced kiss in attempt to show all his affections through Eren's lips. When Eren pulled away, he let him "Levi..." He'd thought Eren was about to cry, or to break. Softly replying "I love you" "I don't want this" Releasing his hold completely on his omega to honour his wishes, Eren scrambled to leave the bath. His actions jerky and sudden "Eren, I..." Giving him a cold glare, his heart broke a little more "I'm repulsive. Just... don't touch me" Grabbing his towel, his mate made his way from the bathroom, leaving a wet trail as he did. What the fuck was going on this morning?! Eren was cranky yesterday, but it was clear he was happy to be home. Now he was acting... crazy. He couldn't keep up and didn't know what he'd done wrong... Was it the hand job? Maybe it was the hand job? His alpha didn't think it was the hand job. The smug arsehole wanted to keep going with the hand job. God. Now he was going to have to start all over again... Eren's brain was just as sexy as his looks. If given the chance, his mate could prove he had a lightening fast sense of whit, and humour. While it took a tiny fraction longer for things to sink in, he was incredibly smart for a kid who'd never been to school then concurred the school thing in less than three years. He loved being able to have an intelligent conversation with his mate that wasn't to do with Paramedic Procedures... * Eren had retreated to his room, refusing to come out, while Viren was still sleeping when Levi left for work. Coming home for lunch, Eren was sitting on the sofa with Viren, his son climbing down and running over to him "Daddy!" Reaching up at him, Levi lifted Viren to his hip "Hey, brat. Did you miss me?" "Yep! Mummy made pizza for lunch, but I wanted to wait for you" The way Viren said "pee-zah" alway brought a smile to his face "You didn't have to wait for me" "I was good all morning!" "Were you now? Would mummy agree?" Viren shrugged "Maybe" "That's my boy. Give me a kiss" Viren kissed his cheek "Alright. It's pee-zah time. Eren..." Eren wasn't there. He looked to his omega in time to see him disappearing into his room. On his hip, Viren sighed "Mummy isn't happy" "Not at the moment. He's just feeling sick" "He wasn't happy last night either" Viren covered his mouth with his hand in a very Eren move, but his comment was already out there "What do you mean by that?" Viren shook his head. Gently pulling his hand away from his mouth, his son sighed "Some man yelled at mummy last night and mum yelled back" What? "It wasn't Uncle Mike? Or Uncle Erwin?" Viren shook his head, while Levi couldn't think of who would possibly picking fights with Eren "Ok, well. I'll talk to mummy" "You don't need to. Here" What was the point of closing his door if Eren was going to come reappearing anyway. Shoving a letter into Levi's free hand, his mate took Viren from his hold the moment he could "What's this?" "I had a visit from Floch" Floch... Floch was never good news. Ever "Karanes is going to trial" "He said it wouldn't..." "Yeah. Well. I've been summonsed. He told me he didn't want me near the case and tried to keep me out of it. Even being a whale with a complicated pregnancy won't get me out of it" "Eren. The last thing you need to be doing is testifying. When did you find out?" Last night. Right. The moment he said it, he remembered it couldn't have been any other time than yesterday "Floch showed up after you went to work. Viren and I were watching TV and started trying to mess with my head. I can be arrested if I don't testify. The defence? Wants to pull my statement about "The Church" to pieces so they can all walk" Moving to place his hand on Eren's arm, his fiancée flinched away "I can't stand being touched right now. I'm sorry, but you need to keep back. I'm either going to start screaming, try to hurt myself or go into another panic attack over this. I wanted to forget, but here we are" "You... this morning... I thought you had a nightmare" "You have to sleep to have a nightmare. I was reading my statement. Floch was ever so kind to drop a copy by. Viren didn't want him here. Not that I did either" "I wish you'd told me" "Levi. I came home yesterday. I told myself I wasn't going to tell you anything because I can't..." Eren waved towards his head with his free hand "... ok. I need to keep things together for a Viren. But he's all I've thought about. I'm tired. I want to thinks things out and just the thought of this going to trial makes me want to jump off the balcony or take the nearest knife and... Can you imagine Viren's life if he gets caught up in it? The son of a psychopath. The grandson of Grisha and the nephew of Zeke. What a great family line that is. I thought we could leave it behind..." Bouncing Viren on his hip, Eren kissed his son's forehead "For his sake, he can't know. I don't want him to know. About Karanes. About the institute. About the pup. Everything has to be ok in front of him" "I'll see if..." "If Hanji can take Viren? We can't ship him off all the time. It's not fair on him" "We need to talk to Floch about all of this. I wasn't shipping him off, I was going to ask if she could watch him for a few hours while we did. There has to be a way that this can proceed without your statement, or a way to keep you off the stand" "The only other person I knew who survived, then tried to kill all of us" Placing Viren down, Eren shook his head "I can't. Ok. I read my statement. I read it and realised how much I didn't remember when I gave. When I close my eyes, I can remember that place. I was there for three month, nearly 4 years ago and I remember it. I don't know what to do. I stayed up all night and I don't know what to do. I don't even remember what happened or how I ended up in my room" Floch was a fucking arsehole. Of all the time he could have shown up, he'd chosen while he wasn't even home. Floch knew that everything relating to Eren had to go through him. It was Eren's request. If he knew he couldn't handle it, he asked Levi to step in as his alpha and his "owner" as too much of society saw it "I'll talk to Floch. You do what you feel you need to do" "I don't think either of us want that. I just need you to not touch me, or knock on the door" Then this morning's bath was the last thing he needed. Shitty Floch. And shitty Eren for not telling him the previous night. He would have handled everything differently if he'd known any of this "I'm sorry about this morning. I wanted you to know I love and want you" "This morning wasn't good" "I know that now... but, Eren, you're not repulsive. You're my mate. My lover, and my pride and joy" Shaking his head sadly, Eren stepped towards his room. Eren taking his cloud of gloom with him "I don't feel that great. Let me know when you're going to work" * Calling Floch, the man arrived a little after 3. It'd taken the better part of an hour to get Viren sleeping, and no time for him to figure out what to do. Letting himself into Eren's room, his mate was sitting on his bed. Sitting just shy of him, Levi went to place his hand on Eren's knee before stopping himself. Letting his hand drop to the blanket instead. None of this was fair, especially with how broken Eren looked over all of this "Eren, Floch's here" "I don't want to talk to him" "I know. And I know you don't want to testify, but you should still be part of this" "Why?" "Because this is your choice, and I want to back you up however I can" "Levi..." "I think you should listen to what Floch has to say" "And then what? He asks me questions, asks me who I can identify? And then?" "We'll talk about what he knows, and why this is coming up now. There has to be a reason" "Where's Viren?" "He sleeping. He didn't want to sleep" "I... I don't have a choice do I?" "You always have a choice, and all you can do is make the choice that you'll least regret. I know your need to know and understand everything going on" "Sometimes I really hate me" "I don't. You're a shit, and a brat, and frustrating as hell, but I don't hate you" Eren gave him a sigh "I'll be there..." "I should hope so. You're the one who organised this" Floch was sitting at the dining table, where he'd left him. Letting Eren take the other seat, he stood behind his mate. Making sure Floch knew he wasn't impressed at all "What is all of this shit?" "I can't say I've missed your bluntness" "Then don't. Eren isn't testifing" "He has to. He'll be charged with perverting the course of justice if he doesn't" "Not happening" "Look. If I could keep him off the stand, I would. I did try to notify you when thing began moving forward. My calls went unanswered" "I didn't have any missed calls" "Then have you changed your number? I know you were supposed to be handling everything to do with this on Eren's behalf. We would have preferred that you took the stand, instead of him, but it's his testimony is what is being questioned. We've contacted Erwin Smith..." Erwin? Eren looked up to him, equally bewildered "You contacted Erwin? When?" "November I believe, when I was unable to contact you" He was going to knock those slug brows of the blonde bastards face "Eren. I didn't know" "I can see that..." Funnily enough, Eren's voice sounded exactly like Floch "I was talking to my mate. Eren will not be testifying" "Unless you can give one good reason as to why I can't call him as a witness, he will be there at the start of the trial" "He's pregnant" "Pregnant people give testimony everyday" "I have two emergency department attendings, an OBGYN, a therapist and four paramedics that will all testify that he is not fit to take the stand" "All of which are close personal friends of yours" "Then I will take him to third party. He is not fit to take the stand" "Pregnancy is..." "It's a high risk pregnancy that is already causing secondary health issues" "It still isn't enough" "That's a load of shit! Grow some fucking testicles" Floch's eyes narrowed, his teeth bared in anger, Levi growling. There was no way he was going to let this shit of an alpha intimidate him or Eren "You know how hard I worked to put all of them away. It nearly cost me my life" "And testifying could cost Eren his. And the lives of our two pups!" "What happens when they walk? A lot of dangerous people were..." "I don't care about them. I care about my mate, and my children" "The one survivor we've been able to contact. Every other omega is in the wind. The fallout from this lead to Reiner coming after you" "Reiner came after us because he was insane with grief" "The trial begins on the 21st. Their lawyers already want access to Eren" "That's not happening" "If he doesn't comply, their going to pull everything apart" "And if he does, they'll go after him!" "At least we can be prepared for that" "Levi, can you back off a little. Both of you stink" Levi took half a step back, but kept his hands on the top of the dining chair, dropping his head, he shook it as he took a deep breath "Sorry. Look. Floch. This isn't going to happen. I refuse to let Eren testify, and for that matter, why was Erwin on your call list? What has he got to do with any of this?" "He was the one who figured out Eren's note, and Eren's message the second time... He'll be testifying over that" "He didn't tell me that" "That is between you and him. You won't be called because your Eren's mate and legal guardian. I doubt they'll allow Erwin to testify to much more than confirming that the note is indeed the one in evidence. And how he recognised the code Eren left. He will also be testifying over Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover. In particular the time you spent working with Bertholdt" Eren rose from his seat, dashing to the kitchen sink. Floch unamused as Eren vomited "Look. There was a list of potential witnesses provided and he was just the one chosen. What I need today is for Eren to look at these photos" Eren shook his head. One hand on his stomach, as did. It was stupid to believe he could ever get through to someone as closed minded as Floch was. The alpha saw himself as some defender of justice, and didn't care who was caught in the fall out "He was released from hospital yesterday. You can't push all of this on him" "Like I said. I did try to make initial contact in November" "Then you should have tried harder. You know where I work. Fuck. I know for a fact I've seen you dragging your mangy arse through the Emergency Department. No. You waited until you were sure Eren was alone before making your move. He is not some naive or weak omega. He is not a pawn in your game, and you will not be using him for your own agenda" "Then I'll be taking him into custody" Levi growled, lifting the dining chair he hurled it across the room, where it hit the far side, smashing the back as it fell to the floor "Get the fuck out of our apartment" Whimpering, Eren covered his ears as he sank to his knees. Eren had told him he couldn't handle touches, or knocking. Now he'd smashed a chair, and let his anger flare "Levi..." "Don't "Levi" me. You show up and dumped all this shit on us. I told you I would take Eren to any doctor you asked, where he'll be given the exact same diagnosis. Eren told you he doesn't want to testify, or to be a part of this. You got them behind bars without his testimony the first time, and you keep them in there this time. He is not a scapegoat for you" "If he's not going to testify, what is to say he isn't a flight risk" "He can't fly like this. He's pregnant and he needs to be near a hospital given the potential complications. Are you deaf? Are your ears filled with the shit you dribble? Desperation isn't a good look on you" Rising from their only remaining dining chair, Flock left a file laying there "This trial will be going ahead. I came here today, simply to have Eren look at a handful of photographs. Your open hostility caused this. If he's released, it will be the start of more to come. They know Eren's alive and they won't stop until all traces of his existence is extinguished. When you've calmed, look at those photos. We'll be in touch" Following Floch to the door, he glared until the man let himself out. As the door closed too slowly for his liking, Levi booted it as hard as he could, before remembering Eren was mid-breakdown. Locking the door, he walked back to the dining table, stopping short of the kitchen "Eren?" "I have to testify..." "Look. We have to meet with a specialist over the SCT. I'm sure they can recommend that you don't" "And then what, Levi. They kill us in front of Viren? They take him? He ends up... spread across the world?" "I won't let that happen" "They're powerful people. You know that" Hissing, Eren sank back so he was sitting on his arse, rather than remaining kneeling "Are you in pain?" "A little..." "Can I... I mean... will you let me move you off the floor?" Eren looked up with guilty eyes, Levi having to backtrack "It's ok. I just thought you might like a hand up" "It's not ok. It's been four years. I shouldn't still feel them on my skin. I shouldn't be scared of you. I shouldn't be this useless" "You're not useless. I'm sick of hearing you run yourself down. You came off your meds, you lost a pup, your alpha was an arsehole and you gave up on your dream of getting married. Then, when things start to look up, when you finally start to feel better, you find you have an infection and our pup is a little sick. Then that piece of shit shows up sprouting all sorts of shit. You're more than entitled to not be ok, and to lean on me" "I don't want to lean on you! All I do is lean on you! You have your own life. You have a right to go out drinking with your friends, or to relax and have fun without worrying or thinking I've gone and hurt myself, or tried to kill myself again! You put so much pressure on yourself and I fucking hate it! I'm sick of tears! Oh look, something's gone wrong, better breakdown like a loser! I'm sick of it Levi. I'm sick of me. I'm sick of everything going to shit when I'm around. I can't even carry your children right. I hate it. I want you to be happy. I want to give you children. I want to be the one who's there for you, and I'm too fucked up in the head to stand on my own two feet. You weren't there in the hospital. Every fucking thing they said came back to aborting. It didn't matter that I was right. I was just a dumb omega. Floch thinks I'm just as dumb, and with so many people thinking it, doesn't that make it true? I can't look at myself without thinking it's my fault. That I'm chaining you down. You say your happy, but what was the last thing you did purely for yourself? On your own and for yourself? You can't think of anything, can you?" "I quit my job" "For me. Because of this thing inside of me. Because you don't think I can handle Viren" "I quit my job because I was done. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of seeing all the accidents. I'm sick of seeing dead people. I'm sick of the shit hours and not being with you and Viren. I missed his first steps. I missed watching him learn how to ride a bike. So yes. I quit because I wanted to spend more time with you and him. I want to be here, with you. I know your probably disappointed. After all, other than my job, I have nothing. I am nothing Eren. I'm a 40 year old alpha who can't even figure out how to be in a relationship with the man I love" "What do you mean you're nothing?" "I have my job, my obsessive need to clean and my shit sense of humour. What else is there to me?" "You're a good person. You're kind, and soft. You care deeply for others..." "They're not skills. I wanted to be the kind of alpha you wanted to be with. I wanted to make you happy. I wanted you to be proud of me" "I am proud of you. Being your omega fills me with pride" "Then why do we keep having this fight? Why can't you believe in me when I say you're beautiful or amazing, or that I trust you" "Because I'm waiting for the day when you wake up and see that I have nothing to offer you..." Eren's sentence tapered off, his lips forming a silent "oh". Ducking his head, Eren sighed "I can't turn off the things in my head. I can't turn off hearing their voices or feeling them against me. I can't forget the deal that ended up with Zeke dead" "I know you can't" "Then why don't you think I'm dirty?" "Because you did what you thought you had to. You always do what you think you have to, to protect us. I don't know if I can protect you, but I made the choice for myself to try. Like I said, we have that appointment coming up, and we'll have more answers by the end of it. Fuck. I wish you could just get it into your head that I love you. Even when your omegas an arsehole, I love you" "When isn't my omega an arsehole?" "Do you really want me to answer that?" "No. It's having a meltdown as it is..." "Do you want me to call into work?" "No. You should go. After all, I can't exactly march down there and punch Erwin myself" "I already have him a black eye..." "Levi! No. I can't deal with violence right now" "I couldn't help it" "You have more patience than I've ever met, other than Moblit. It wasn't Reiner and Bertholdt that made me sick, but the smell of two angry alpha's. Then you threw the chair" Levi scratched the back of his head, feeling slightly sheepish "And kicked the door" "If you're going to be violent, I'm not going to be able to go near you" "I'm sorry" "Just go take a shower or something. My body has decided I can't move while you're there" It was hard not to take that personally, even if he'd brought it upon himself "And you'll be ok to get off the floor?" "Yeah. I need a minute. Can you check on Viren too? Make sure he's ok?" "I'll check on him" "Thank you..." How he wished he hadn't thrown the chair across the room. Taking Floch's stupid file with him, he stuffed it in his bedside table, before huffing off the bathroom. Fuck, Floch. Fuck, Erwin, and fuck the universe in general. Showering his anger away, Eren had fled from the bathroom. His door locked, Levi didn't even have to bother trying the handle to know that. Dressing in another uniform, he flooded the apartments living area with scent canceller, until he choked on oils clogging up his lungs. Anything to get the stink of trash out the air. Finally checking on Viren, their son was sprawled across his bed, his bear clutched tight to his chest. Why couldn't Floch see that this trial could very well destroy the life of their son? The innocent pup who only deserved the best things in life. Walking over to Viren's bed, he dragged the slipped covers back up to his shoulders, kissing his soft hair with a loving smile. How could his look so much like him, but have the exact same expressions and mannerisms as Eren? If the boy ended up being even a fraction as strong as his mother, Levi was in deep shit... but he really wouldn't have it any other way.

[tumblunni]

Mo bug game ideas

Also i was thinking about more Deep Development for the daddy longlegs bug husbands!

First off i need to try and give them distinct personalities cos i mean their whole gimmick is they wear matching outfits and have the same job class to spoof the fact two types of bug have the same colloquial name in different countries BUT if they were like literally recolours of the same guy it would look like brothers instead of a cute couple. Absolutely do not want that! The romance is integral! They aint called platonic longlegs!!!

So i was thinking that maybe one of them (lets go with the name Albedo) is like a super soft and shy cute stereotypical daddo of hugs. But he's also a mega deadly assassin, and a master of disguise and manipulation. Its just like.. Beneath all the evilness he used to be, the soft nice dad was actually the real him. Like he'd fumble his own assassinations by outright crying whenever he had to pretend to be a nice guy in a happy couple for a disguise. He's just a damn good dude who got forced into a shitty job that made him hate himself every day because he was living in poverty and didnt have much hope for his future and stuff. And like even tho now he's escaped the assasin guild due to his fiancee's help, he's still left with all these Really Badass Scary Skills and just never wants to use them again. So he's the archetypical soft boy who is only serious when the people he loves are in trouble, and OH BOY you should not underestimate him...

And then the other one (which i think is gonna be rubedo) is more of a cliche punk personality? Oh and just to add- they discarded their real names long ago when they first became assassins, and these are just the latest in a long list of codenames. But this time they picked matching ones <3

ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Oh yeah Rubedo is also a softboy but he pretends to be a punk! He's very 'oi hands off the marchandise' and tries to act like he's heartless like a true assassin should be, but because of his Real Passionate Soul it just comes out as a guy who's comedically quick to anger and thinks he's way more unflappable than he really is. But also his angryness is linked to a general Big Emotion in all other ways too, and he's actually even more lovey dovey, just more shy about showing it. Half 'but honey my reputatioooon' and half 'OH GOD MY HEART ISNT BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD HOW HAPPY I AM' *blushes himself into a coma*

So yeah they do have similar fundemental souls of love and fatherliness, but different personalities around them. So much in common just like the bugs!

And then i was thinking about their backstory? And i thought maybe they were actually childhood friends that became estranged? Cos albedo was poor and rubedo was rich and actually i think rubedo's family was legit the mafia and it was just a wild ass coincidence that albedo ended up being employed by an opposing mafia when they both grew up. And then they were sent to assassinate each other and were so equally matched that it kept ending in a draw, and they struck up some chemistry and had a crush even before they found out they were each other's long lost childhood sweetheart! And of course as soon as that happened it was like 'jesus fuck ive been seaeching for you for so long oh god i have a reason to live againn and also i am realizing my boss/literal father LIED TO ME TO GET ME TO KILL YOU so fuck this job lets run away together and become smooch redemption'. AND THEN THAT IS WHAT THEY DO.

*throws confetti for the damn best angsty fluffy heartwarmingy shipping idea ive had in ages and somehow it came from bug science*

Anyway i was thinking about them briefly meeting as kids and having their first crush on each other and it all being cute and sweet until Evil Mafia Dad decides his son is not allowed to Mingle With The Commoners and sends him off to Asshole Generic Boarding School Of Rich Jerks. And like.. rubedo's already used to being hopeless about his future and he's like 'i deserve this for trying to disobey dad' so he just gets on the coach to horrible disciplinary school and doesnt tell albedo he's moving away cos he thinks his friend will be better off without him. But albedo goes running after the coach and he's like NOOOOO and rubedo sees him out the window and is also like NOOOOOO and its all really fuckin sad. And albedo is like 'lets run away together!' and rubedo is like 'be realistic, we'd just get lost and die, we're like 9'. And albedo is like 'we'll find some way to work it out!' and rubedo is like 'we're just kids, we dont have any power to change my dad's mind'. And then with the last of the strength in his legs as the carriage starts speeding up, albedo manages to jump up and plant a kiss on his crush! And then immediately goes tumbling and lands in a cloud of dust and broken heart as the carriage leaves over the horizon. But the moment still stuck in rubedo's heart forever and gave him the hope he needed to survive that shitty school! Just imagine him sitting there in shock with absolute first kiss daze and then OH GOD ALBEDO ARE YOU OKAY but he's already off in the distance and there's no hope and just..

Just...

If this is the last time we see each other...

And so it was the first time he let out his boisterous rebel spirit! Yelling over the horizon and not even knowing if the other boy could even hear him, but it has to be said!

"If we're not strong enough to fight this, i'll become strong! Next time you see me, i'll be your prince!"

And well it didnt exactly go down like that, but on the other hand it sorta did? Rubedo lived a shitty life of being groomed into a rigid idea of what a nobleman should be, and found out his family had all sorts of horrible behind the scenes illegal operations and by then he was just so broken he fell into the role of his dad's latest disposeable enforcer, just like he was planned to be from birth. And albedo grew up in poverty and was orphaned at a young age, having to go down equally morally unconscionable paths in life to even manage to survive into his 20s. So by the time they met again they were a big ball of barely surpressed anger in the role of a generic mafia thug, and an emotionless stepford wife esque assassin. If they hadnt been sent to take each other out, they might not have been able to come back from the brink of what they were being turned into. But the side effect of it was that it turned them into the sort of people who had the power to escape if they could ever break out of the brainwashing keeping them there, thats the danger of raising a human weapon. And together theyre strong enough to fight for justice and take down the people who abused them! And one way or another they did end up as the 'gallant prince and the princess he whisked away from the tower', though they can never agree which is which because they both saved each other this time. Its even better than the fairytales!

So ahem yeh here's bunni's patented "getting super feelsy over characters i invented five minutes ago based on a bizarre inspiration prompt" moment. IF YOU DONT LOVE ASSASSIN BUG BOYFS THEN YOU ARE WRONG! aaa they deserve all the happiness...

[missjackil]

Sorry for this 12X9 Rant but I have to!

If you read my critique of the episode, I still stand behind it as a pretty decent episode, but I was literally awake all night due to my huge frustration with it! These writers (some arent that new either) seem to forget how Sam and Dean interact with each other, and would seriously gotten an F in 9th grade creative writing if they handed this episode in as an assignment, and most of it hinges on what we are told about Sam and Dean’s prison experience.  The beginning was great! The cop talking to both the boys separately. Telling them about how isolation works better than torture to break someone down. the boys stayed stone cold defiantly silent and the only reaction the cop got was when he told Sam about there being “nothing”. When the cop would close the door, there would be nothing, but him and those walls and the dark. This I am sure triggered ALL out heart strings, thinking about Sam’s hell/cage experience and we all worried for his sake. And when he flinched from the sound of the door slamming shut, all our hearts went “OH NOOOOO” What we expected:  Tears, angst, shaking in the darkness, breaking hearts from being away from their brother and any human contact, maybe some hints of insanity, fear from any noises they might hear after hours or days without sound, hallucinations, sleeplessness, maybe thoughts of suicide, or even an attempt by hanging themselves by their jumpsuit or sheets. Screaming, wall punching, rage... What we got: Sam doesnt like the food, Dean is fine with it. Sam working out (thank you by the way) Dean shaving, Sam looking shaven, the lights are always on, Dean scratches ticks on the wall. The cells are clean, the bedding is clean, the boys always look clean and surprisingly well groomed. Even the toilet is clean.  No tears, No angst, no nothing but apparent boredom When they get out, theyre technically dead. They both wake up and the only thing they say between the 2 of them “You good?” “Yeah”  So fast forward to the end, we find out the boys made a big scary blood oath with Billie, she kills them and brings them back one last time but at midnight, one Winchester has to die. They make this pact because, according to Dean, he has been to Hell and this was worse. Ok this is where the failing grade comes in. What do we (the viewer) know about Sam and Dean’s Hell tours? We know Dean was brutally cut and torn apart all day every day for 30 years, till he got off the rack and did the torturing himself for the next 10 years. But being bored with no one to talk to for 6 weeks was worse?  What do we know about Sam’s Hell tour? He was brutally tortured, burned and raped for 180 years, but in prison, the food sucked, so that was worse?  Mrs Garrison, my 9th grade creative writing teacher would make me re-write the story. If I was going to keep the beginning, the threat of insanity from the isolation, and the end, that the experience was worse than my characters time in Hell, then I better show the viewer/reader HOW it was worse. And if my main characters have this dangerous but beautiful, co-dependent love for each other, that I have pushed for the previous 11 seasons, give them something after they make this insane deal to show they still love each other and the deal is causing them grief and anxiety, not just “we need to talk about this” “we will... later” and then make sure they talk about it! I LOVE this show, I LOVE Sam and Dean, but this kind of writing is going to bring about the end of the series when it doesnt have to. In the 11 seasons before this, 2 of the best characters of fiction were developed and 2 million people are emotionally invested in them. We have seen through the seasons that the fans dont care how crazy the Big Bads are, or twisted the story lines get, so long as these characters stay true to what made people love them in the first place. If these writers would just take the time to focus on Sam and Dean’s pain, struggle, and love for each other, this show could go on forever. But no, this season theyre paying more attention to everything but. I kind of wish for a moment I could be Mrs Garrison, and hand the writer back this script and say “If you want me to believe, this deal was worth making, show me how prison was at least comparable to their Hell experiences, now I want a re-write on my desk Monday morning or you’re getting an F” 

[purplesurveys]

322

Ross 1. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? I think I’d be even more surprised if someone was divorced thrice like Ross by the time they’re 20, which is how old I am now...but to answer the question, no. 2. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Dunno about ‘stereotypically nerdy’ but I really like museums, biology, history, and astronomy. 3. Would you rather be a teacher or work at a museum? Work at a museum. I would have been a curator had I chosen to take up Art Management in university, which was one of the options offered to me. It’s still a big ‘what if’ in my mind to this day. 4. What is something you are really passionate about? Food!!! I don’t know if this counts but I have so much appreciation and respect for all cuisines. It’s a deep reflection of a country’s or a race’s culture and history and I believe you really get to know cultures more simply from their staple food. Whenever I travel, even just to local provinces, I never take their cuisine for granted and always take time to take it all in and understand how the dishes shape them as a people. 5. How would you react if you found out you were pregnant/got somebody pregnant just after you broke up? What would you do? I would hope the dad is willing to be involved, but that’s going to be on him, not me. But then again I have a girlfriend so I’ve never thought about this happening.

Rachel 1. Have you ever ‘started over’ completely? In what ways? You can say that. I treated university life as a blank slate because I really really wanted to restart from high school, where I was predominantly quiet and generally didn’t make my presence known. I didn’t like that coming from a small school meant that everyone knew each other and identities were established very early on–which meant that everyone was typecast and you can never get away from that. But in a university with 20,000 students, it was very easy to fit right at home, start over, and finally make a name for myself. High school was suffocating, university is so much more freeing. 2. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? No wow that would be awful to see. I’ve never seen a Filipino wedding end that way. 3. Do you have a friend that you’ve known since high school, that you are still close with? High school wasn’t a long time ago for me so yes, I have tons of friends that I met in high school–it helps that majority of us study in UP, anyway. If you want longevity, I’ve been friends with Angela since the first grade. 4. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Ending up like my mother, which I avoid thinking about as much as possible. I would never forgive myself. 5. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? Nooooo but in the past I did. I still have no idea why, but I sort of went a little bonkers in Grade 6 and was at one point very serious about becoming a runway model. I announced that to my dad and he was–rightfully–shocked. Looking back, I realize just how supportive he was because despite his shock, all he said was he was going to have my back wherever I end up working. No idea where he got that from, because 20 year old me just thinks that that was an insane thing to reach for, especially for myself. Phoebe 1. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. I love babies. Giving them away would be too hard for me, I think. Especially because I’d have the hormones that make me attached to the baby and other pregnancy stuff like that. 2. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? Best thing would be having a default best friend, I think. Never-ending comparison would probably be the worst thing. Can a twin confirm these? 3. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I don’t just feel it. I know it was. All the red flags glare whenever my friends look back on their childhood and I come to realize I didn’t have half the experiences that they did. 4. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? That would make no sense as I am a physical carbon copy of my mom. 5. In what ways are you free-spirited, if any? I dunno, am I? I don’t think so. I’m really more like Rachel–I thrive on depending on other people. Chandler 1. Are sarcasm and jokes a regular thing for you? Yeah pretty much. I like using humor for almost everything. 2. If one of your parents told you they were gay today, what would you say to them? I’m not close with my parents and I would never imagine that they will ever open up to me about something like that. But if they do, I’d like to think that I will be appreciative of them sharing that kind of matter with me. I would be supportive as well, obviously. 3. What is the most boring part of your job? I don’t have one. 4. Would you ever date your best friend’s sibling? Angela’s an only child and I consider Gab’s siblings as my baby sisters so I don’t want to even think about this happening. 5. How do you feel about Chandler, if you watch the show? He’s my favorite character. He turned out to be the most genuine one out of all the six friends, being that he came from a rough childhood and had trust issues his whole life. I relate to him in that he uses jokes as a defense mechanism because lol same experiences buddy. He’s a prankster, but at the end of the day, at his core, he’s the sweetest and most caring guy. Remember that episode where he talked to Erica about letting them keep the twins? That’s his finest moment ugh I love him so much. All in all, I love Chandler and he always, always deserves the best :’) Joey 1. Would having a job without a steady income scare you, or would you be able to handle it? It would scare me. I care about staying financially afloat more than anything else. 2. Describe a sandwich you love. Sandwiches aren’t all that common in the Philippines so it isn’t really part of what I usually eat. Sorry Joey D: 3. What would be the perks and downfalls of coming from a big family? Ohohoho I’m Filipino so I know all about having a huge family. The perks is that it’s always a FEAST when you all get together. Lots of food, lots of laughs, lots of catching-up that you can do. The one downfall is that it is nearly impossible to band together in the first place. 4. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? No, they never have. I’d go after the third party before dealing with the parent that cheated. 5. Do you have a phrase that you catch yourself saying regularly? I don’t have a catchphrase, although my friends have pointed out that I say ‘Ughhh’ a lot. Monica 1. Do you like cleaning and organizing? To an extent, yeah. When it comes to computer and data work I’m extremely organized; but I can never seem to keep my car spotless and my wardrobe filed properly. 2. How much of a control freak are you? HUGE. If I’m involved in a groupwork for school I always have to be overseeing everything. I have to be online whenever just one of my groupmates is so that I know what they plan to do and how they deliver on a task. 3. What would be the perks and downfalls of being a chef? I guess the biggest perk would be that you don’t have to have anyone cook for you or worry about eating out too much because you can cook for yourself? Downfall is that everyone has their own sense of taste so even if you do cook very well there’ll be always some people who complain about your cooking. 4. Are marriage and children a huge thing for you? Why or why not? They are, especially kids. I had a very rough childhood and felt neglected for a good 95% of that ride. I wasn’t read bedtime stories and I missed out on a good chunk of Disney movies because movie time was never seen as a bonding activity by my parents. I wasn’t treated to kiddie things all that much and I was practically forced to grow up way earlier than other kids because instead of rainbows and toys and love and unicorns, I got alcoholism, violence, and really, neglect. I’ve always aspired to be a mom because of that. I want to be able to prove to myself that I’m not defined by where I came from. The reason I’m so good with all children is because of what I experienced; but all I want is to have a kid of my own this time so that I could give it all the love and attention in the world that I didn’t get. 5. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve?  I don’t plan on having kids of my own to begin with–when I say that, I mean from my own eggs. I would never, ever want to pass down by mental well-being to who is going to become my child. To see a piece of me (my depression, suicidal tendencies, anxiety, etc.) live through them would break my heart. With that, my girlfriend and I talked about it and we’ve established early on that should we get to that point, it was going to come from her and then have me carry the baby, so that we each have a part in it. To find out I’m infertile would be to basically eradicate my purpose as an adult. I’d be crushed. I don’t know what I’d do and never gave it much thought precisely because I do not want to imagine it happening to us.

[I love Monica’s character so much and what she went through so I ended up with long-ass answers for her lmao ILY MON!!!!!!!]

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - 14 update

Eren felt revolted with himself. The pup inside of barely looked human., the growth was terrifying to see on screen. His first thought was that the tiny pup looked like some kind of mutant, his heart racing as he wondered if the little life was in pain. It was so much smaller than their sibling, the guilt too much as looked from the screen. Yet the image was burned into his mind. He didn't know what to do now. He hated himself for thinking Levi's child looked so disturbing and disgusting, especially when Levi was so in love with them. His alpha wanted these pups so badly, but everyone was talking aborting, and making plans for his future without him. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He knew he was a bad omega... that's how they made it seem. Females and female omegas got sympathy from the staff discussing his case, while he just felt shunned. Judged over his dynamic... They might be awesome at their jobs, they wouldn't be at the hospital if they weren't, but he felt so dirty. Levi would be furious if he told him, so he hadn't. The staff were so much more politer to Levi about everything. They'd explained it to him, and possibly outcomes. Treating Levi like an equal, because there was no way at all an omega could understand anything. They could all fuck off. He hadn't even been able spend New Year's night with Viren. He'd been forced to finish Anna's birthday present in hospital, where they didn't appreciate his arts and crafts project. He'd bought the girl a proper high quality gold locket, it was large for her size, but knowing she'd grow into it. The project they hadn't like was when he'd carefully sealed two small photos with a water proof coating. One photo was of Anna just after her birth, while the other was from the photo of Moblit from the night of his 20th birthday when they'd all been so happy. Moblit might be gone, but he know how fiercely he would loved her. He wanted to make sure Anna knew that every single day of her life. Levi's gift to the little girl was paying for her ears to be pierced, not that his alpha knew. Levi would have probably tried to gift her cleaning supplies if he could have. Hardly the right gift for a four year old who was a total little miss. After 8 long days in hospital, he was finally released. In his opinion it was 8 days too many, and he definitely wasn't going to miss being there. Hanji had come to see him after his blow up, but he just wasn't ready to talk to her about it. He didn't want her apology, or her forcing a conversation about everything but the pup. He'd wanted more time to figure out everything with Levi. Levi was the father after all. Levi talked to him like he had brain cells. With Levi "supporting" him into their apartment, he was beyond relieved to be back home. Viren running ahead of them to jump on the sofa, sending Titan running with his happy yelling. Their son having decided that he wanted to wear pyjamas all day, or at least that was what Levi told him when he they'd come to pick him up. All Eren wanted was a shower and 10 years worth of sleep in his own bed. The stupid clean smell of the hospital had left him feeling nauseous for days. It wasn't the same smell as when Levi cleaned the apartment, and his alpha's scent wasn't there to push everything else away "I have a split shift, so I'll be out from 6 to 12, is there anything you want?" "A shower. Then some sleep..." "Do you want a hand?" Nope. He didn't want Levi looking at his body or his stomach. He didn't want anyone looking at his body or his stomach "No. I'll be ok. Why don't you spend some time with Viren? If I take a nap, I should be alright to sit up with him tonight" "I don't mind putting him to bed before I head out" It might not have been Levi's intention to make him feel like the alpha didn't think he could handle their son, but his omega went right there. He'd missed Viren so much, and really wanted to rest so he having extra long cuddles with his son. Finding himself nodding, Levi kissed him on the cheek "I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you, and I remade our bed" "I'm sorry. I think I want to take a nap in my old room... I'm just..." "No. It's ok. You do whatever you need to. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait" You don't just tell someone that, then end it with "but it can wait". It was as bad as "We need to talk". What the hell was supposed to do with this piece of information now? Was Levi not under the impression that he was only mimicking a functional human being, when in reality, he was dead on his feet? He couldn't do the words, let alone the adulting. At least not until he'd showered and gotten every bit of shitty hospital scent off. Did Levi not know how much he was looking forward to not having to shower using a shower chair, under the supervision of a nurse because they thought he was going run off through the hospital naked? He wasn't actually sure if that was what they thought, he just didn't appreciate the hovering "Eren?" "Sorry. I'm too tired to think" "It's alright. Go take a shower, and get some sleep. It's nice to have you home" Nice. Not "Welcome back to where you belong". Fuck. He'd missed his omega, and the constant love it filled him with his for children. Now it could kindly fuck off again. It only had one job and that was more of a background feeling that the had push past its constant insecurities to feel. Now that he was home, it'd be easier to hide his thoughts and feelings from Levi. Levi had work. He had Viren to distract him, and Titan. He missed the fat cat, and had gone overboard with Christmas presents. Titan had been gifted a new grooming brush, new collar, a new tag, a new water bowl that was a fountain so he always had fresh water, a new feeding station, a new bed, and new scratching post. Levi has teased him for it all, but he couldn't help it. Levi's overweight tom was probably his best friend, as he was so much easier to deal with than people were. Cuddles, pats and food. He liked the exact same things, and Titan was just the right size to be warm and comforting as he slept back to back with him, or tried to wedge himself above the swell of Eren's stomach, and below the pile of pillows Eren liked to use. Starting to walk across the room, Levi closed the door with enough force that he flinched "Sorry, it slipped. Before I forget, I left your mail in your room for you. I think there was a package and few envelopes" "Thanks. I'll look at them later" He didn't remember ordering anything, not that he could remember much of anything... fuck... it was definitely bed time. * Viren had come climbing into his bed on his own. Eren had thought sleep would be easy to find, but the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind decided it wanted to be wide awake. His thoughts running circles as he attempted to get comfortable. If anything, his bed was too comfortable, his body melting into the softness of his blankets, and the comfort of familiar scents. Pulling his son to him, he pressed kisses to Viren's hair. The boy was beautiful. Everything about him was so perfect, even if things had been strained between them, he could never hate him "Hey, baby. Have you been having fun with daddy?" "Daddy let me wear my pyjamas!" His son sounded so damn proud of the fact "Did he?" "Yep! And we watched 'toons!" "You love your "toons", don't you baby. What about Anna, have you been playing with her?" "She's a girl" "Yep. She sure is... where's daddy now?" "Daddy's in the food" So daddy was in the kitchen. Ok "And you thought you'd come see mummy. You know what that means?" Viren looked at him wide eyes "Kisses!" "Mummy! Nooooo!" Blowing raspberries on Viren's cheeks, his son screamed with laughter. So loud that Levi came to check "Viren, I told you not to disturb mummy. Sorry, Eren. I'll take him" But... cuddles. Viren would probably get demanding soon, but this was nice "He's alright" "You need your rest" "I am resting" "Viren, come to daddy" Daddy was still his favourite, yet Viren was sweet enough to look torn "It's ok baby, you go with daddy" "Mum?" "If you stay with mummy, there's going to be more kisses" Pursing his lips, his son squealed in anticipation. Kissing at the hands that tried to push him away, Viren managed to kick up and against his chest "Viren!" Scolding him, Viren was confused by his father's tone. Sure it'd hurt, but his son hadn't meant it. Tears welled in Viren's grey eyes "It's ok baby. You didn't hurt mummy" "I'm sorry!" "No. No, baby..." Wiggling away from his hold, Viren started to cry the boy stubbornly climbing off the bed to run off past Levi "Did you have to scold him like that?" "You're supposed to be resting" "I was having cuddles with Viren, not running a marathon!" "Don't get mad at me for worrying about you" "I'm in bed. I'm resting. Viren just wanted a cuddle and I wanted to give him kisses" Coming running back, Viren had his favourite teddy in his hold. Ignoring Levi, the little boy climbed back on the bed, shoving the bear in Eren face "Mummy!" "Hello, Mister Bear..." "Mister Bear wants to make mummy better..." Eren heart melted "Thank you baby, but I think Mister Bear is telling me he wants to be with you" Viren beamed at him, even with tear tracks down his face "We can share. Just this once though" "Ok baby. Mummy is going to have a sleep, do you want to stay with me? Or go with daddy?" Viren looked to his teddy, nodding as if it was talking to him "I want to stay with mummy" Ha. Suck it, Levi! "Ok, here we go, come curl up with mummy. Mummy missed you" Shifting the blankets, Viren moved into his hold. Mister Bear between them "I guess I'll go then... I'll be home a little longer, if you need anything" "We'll be fine" "Call if you do. Seriously, you need to be resting" "Levi, it's fine. I can handle a three year old who wants cuddles" What he couldn't handle was a 40 year alpha who was hovering as if he really couldn't handle their toddler. Blocking Levi out, Eren leaned over and pressed a kiss to Viren's forehead, surprised when the boy returned the gesture. This was far better medicine than anything he'd had in hospital. * Levi was at work when Viren had woken him, his son shaking him awake to tell him he didn't want to go to sleep. What did it matter if Viren didn't want to sleep? He'd stayed for cuddles until he was content to run off, and now he wanted more cuddles again... he'd take them, even when they were an excuse not to go to bed. Lifting his son, Eren carried him out the sofa, dropping Viren down in the corner with a smile "Did daddy give you ice cream?" Viren shook his head. It didn't really matter if he had. He wanted ice cream and Viren didn't want to sleep. They had hours until Levi came home again "Do you want sprinkles? Or chocolate?" Viren hummed as if he were considering his options, when they both knew what it was going to be "Both!" Yep. He knew it "Ok baby. Give mummy a second" A second might have been a generous understatement. First he had to use the bathroom, then he had to make sure Titan had his wet food, and that there was water in his fountain, followed by checking the fridge for fruit. He had no idea why Levi insisted on storing the banana's in the fridge. They lived on the bench, in their bowl, where they were remembered. It was their home... not the bottom shelf of the fridge where they didn't belong "Muuuuum?" "Give me a sec baby!" Fuck it. He couldn't remember if he's ever had a banana split, or at least one like in the movies, but he was sure Viren hadn't. They had to be slightly healthy, right?. Nuts, dairy and fruit... and chocolate... oh... fuck it. It was worth it if it made Viren happy. They could all use some happiness in their lives. Settling down with Viren, the two of the shared the banana split as they watched Viren's choice in movies, something with super heroes he didn't know. Usually he was stuck with Anna's choice. She'd try and sit through the things Viren liked, but the moment there was a break, the program was changed before they knew what happened. The only time it didn't happen is when Eren had hold of the remote. Sitting with his legs along the sofa, Viren on his thighs, and his stomach as the table, both he and Viren jumped at the knock on the front door "Daddy!" It was too soon for Levi to be home. Scrambling off his lap, the toddler went running to the front door. He hasn't conquered the lock yet, so all he could do was hold the knob with both hands and swing against it impatiently "Mum!" "Mum's too fat to rush. Hold on" Stupid stomach. Being a table was about all it was good for... he couldn't stand it. And he couldn't cope with his hate for it, as one pup in there was still doing just fine. Knocking again, Eren was ready to ignore it completely. All their friends should know better than to knock twice, in his current condition, and delivery people didn't come this late at night. Levi had made dinner, so it definitely wasn't pizza. Hitching the chain on, he flicked the bolt round so Viren could open the door. Shooting him an annoyed glare, his son wasn't happy that it didn't open all the way. Forced to poke his head around the corner, his son huffed "You're not my daddy" The toddler than shutting the door in the face of their visitor "Viren..." He couldn't be mad at the boy for his bad manners, not when he wanted to do the same. Opening the door, he sighed, prepared to apologise for Viren's behaviour "Hello, Eren. It's been a while. I'm hoping we can talk" His first instinct was to slam the door in Floch's face. "A while" had been over two years. A while" hadn't been long enough "Eren, did you get the letter?" "What letter?" His voice was sky high, confused as fuck... and leading to Floch raising an eyebrow "Sorry. I've been in hospital since... well, a while" "I'm sorry to call so late. But when I didn't hear back from you, I thought it best I come tell you that you've been summonsed to appear" "Hold on. I have no idea what you're talking about" "I'm talking about the Karanes Incident. Look, can I come in? It's easier than doing this through the door" "Levi isn't home right now..." It was just him and Viren. He didn't need a panic attack, or his nosy three year old hearing anything "I did try to keep you out of it, but the trials going ahead. It starts in two weeks time, which means there's a lot to cover" Floch wasn't listening him. Why was he so shocked that an alpha wouldn't listen to him in his own home? "Hold on. Let me do the chain... Viren's just had sugar... He's either going to ignore you, or have a tantrum... you've got shit timing. I just got out today..." Talking more to himself, in an attempt to clam down, than to Floch, Eren closed the front door. Once again tempted to leave it closed. Karanes was years ago... Letting Floch in, Viren wasn't happy about it. His son refusing to go to bed, or to watch TV when there was a stranger in their house. Lowering himself down into a dining chair, he couldn't help but shy away as Floch's eyes drifted to his stomach "Congratulations" "This isn't about that..." "Viren..." "Floch. You're not here to discuss my personal life. I've been in hospital since just before the New Year, and now you're showing up on my doorstep. What is all this about?" "You don't need to be on guard" "Excuse me. I haven't seen you in years. I would have been fine without seeing you ever again. What is this trial? You said it wouldn't go to trial" "Because I didn't think it would. When the Church fell apart, the fall out was huge. Ministers. Politicians. Police. Their influence was wide spread" "I know that. Probably better than you do" Floch disregarded his curt words "One of the politicians is kicking up trouble in order to clear his name. The case is against both the Karanes and Shinganshima Police Departments" "And how does this relate to me?" "You are the son of Grisha Yeager. We know he worked for them for over a decade. It was you, and he, who destroyed the compound" "We both know..." "That you were involved. He's determined to show that the statement you provided, is nothing more than speculation" "So he needs someone to blame?" "Unfortunately. We did know there was a chance of this going to trial, and we attempted to keep you out of it. But as the only one who was actually there... if he can discredit you, he feels it'll go a long way to overturning the charges against him and his friends" "And if I don't testify?" "You risk being arrested" "I'm sorry. But I can't. I've got too much going on here" "Eren, he could walk" "And I'm pregnant. There's things in this world that we can't change" "Eren" "I gave you my statement. If they have questions, can't you just like... forward them on?" "His defence team is going to want to talk to you" "I can't do it" "Eren..." "I can't! Ok! I can't and I won't. I've been trying my hardest to forget all of it. Zeke. Grisha. Reiner. Bertholdt. All of it! I just want to be left alone" Rubbing his stomach as pain flared across it, he wanted Floch out "Eren. You've been summonsed" "And what? I'm an omega. We both know how that works" "That's why I tried to keep you out of it" Ouch. Yeah. No. Floch had to go. Rising to his feet, he glared down at Floch "I told you everything I knew. You have my statement. You have Levi's statement. Viren and Levi both nearly died from what happened. I will not let anyone hurt my family like that again" "If you don't testify, these people will be walking free" "They're not people. They're shit in human skins" "Then you should know we can let them get away with this. I've brought some photos, if you can identify any of them..." "It's been three and a half years! Nearly 4..." "You just have to look" "Leave my mummy alone!" Yelling at Floch, Floch didn't care. Placing down the file he'd brought with him, he placed it down in front of Eren. Eren sliding it back as he held one arm out, Viren not moving to his hold "Viren. Baby. It's ok" "You upset my mum..." "Viren, it's ok. He's leaving" His son continued to glare "I'll leave this with you. And give you the night to think this over, and to talk to Levi about it" "I'm not going to change my answer" "There's actually a copy of your statement in there. Read it. Think about it. Then we'll discuss those photos"

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - 14 start

Eren felt revolted with himself. The pup inside of barely looked human., the growth was terrifying to see on screen. His first thought was that the tiny pup looked like some kind of mutant, his heart racing as he wondered if the little life was in pain. It was so much smaller than their sibling, the guilt too much as looked from the screen. Yet the image was burned into his mind. He didn't know what to do now. He hated himself for thinking Levi's child looked so disturbing and disgusting, especially when Levi was so in love with them. His alpha wanted these pups so badly, but everyone was talking aborting, and making plans for his future without him. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He knew he was a bad omega... that's how they made it seem. Females and female omegas got sympathy from the staff discussing his case, while he just felt shunned. Judged over his dynamic... They might be awesome at their jobs, they wouldn't be at the hospital if they weren't, but he felt so dirty. Levi would be furious if he told him, so he hadn't. The staff were so much more politer to Levi about everything. They'd explained it to him, and possibly outcomes. Treating Levi like an equal, because there was no way at all an omega could understand anything. They could all fuck off. He hadn't even been able spend New Year's night with Viren. He'd been forced to finish Anna's birthday present in hospital, where they didn't appreciate his arts and crafts project. He'd bought the girl a proper high quality gold locket, it was large for her size, but knowing she'd grow into it. The project they hadn't like was when he'd carefully sealed two small photos with a water proof coating. One photo was of Anna just after her birth, while the other was from the photo of Moblit from the night of his 20th birthday when they'd all been so happy. Moblit might be gone, but he know how fiercely he would loved her. He wanted to make sure Anna knew that every single day of her life. Levi's gift to the little girl was paying for her ears to be pierced, not that his alpha knew. Levi would have probably tried to gift her cleaning supplies if he could have. Hardly the right gift for a four year old who was a total little miss. After 8 long days in hospital, he was finally released. In his opinion it was 8 days too many, and he definitely wasn't going to miss being there. Hanji had come to see him after his blow up, but he just wasn't ready to talk to her about it. He didn't want her apology, or her forcing a conversation about everything but the pup. He'd wanted more time to figure out everything with Levi. Levi was the father after all. Levi talked to him like he had brain cells. With Levi "supporting" him into their apartment, he was beyond relieved to be back home. Viren running ahead of them to jump on the sofa, sending Titan running with his happy yelling. Their son having decided that he wanted to wear pyjamas all day, or at least that was what Levi told him when he they'd come to pick him up. All Eren wanted was a shower and 10 years worth of sleep in his own bed. The stupid clean smell of the hospital had left him feeling nauseous for days. It wasn't the same smell as when Levi cleaned the apartment, and his alpha's scent wasn't there to push everything else away "I have a split shift, so I'll be out from 6 to 12, is there anything you want?" "A shower. Then some sleep..." "Do you want a hand?" Nope. He didn't want Levi looking at his body or his stomach. He didn't want anyone looking at his body or his stomach "No. I'll be ok. Why don't you spend some time with Viren? If I take a nap, I should be alright to sit up with him tonight" "I don't mind putting him to bed before I head out" It might not have been Levi's intention to make him feel like the alpha didn't think he could handle their son, but his omega went right there. He'd missed Viren so much, and really wanted to rest so he having extra long cuddles with his son. Finding himself nodding, Levi kissed him on the cheek "I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you, and I remade our bed" "I'm sorry. I think I want to take a nap in my old room... I'm just..." "No. It's ok. You do whatever you need to. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait" You don't just tell someone that, then end it with "but it can wait". It was as bad as "We need to talk". What the hell was supposed to do with this piece of information now? Was Levi not under the impression that he was only mimicking a functional human being, when in reality, he was dead on his feet? He couldn't do the words, let alone the adulting. At least not until he'd showered and gotten every bit of shitty hospital scent off. Did Levi not know how much he was looking forward to not having to shower using a shower chair, under the supervision of a nurse because they thought he was going run off through the hospital naked? He wasn't actually sure if that was what they thought, he just didn't appreciate the hovering "Eren?" "Sorry. I'm too tired to think" "It's alright. Go take a shower, and get some sleep. It's nice to have you home" Nice. Not "Welcome back to where you belong". Fuck. He'd missed his omega, and the constant love it filled him with his for children. Now it could kindly fuck off again. It only had one job and that was more of a background feeling that the had push past its constant insecurities to feel. Now that he was home, it'd be easier to hide his thoughts and feelings from Levi. Levi had work. He had Viren to distract him, and Titan. He missed the fat cat, and had gone overboard with Christmas presents. Titan had been gifted a new grooming brush, new collar, a new tag, a new water bowl that was a fountain so he always had fresh water, a new feeding station, a new bed, and new scratching post. Levi has teased him for it all, but he couldn't help it. Levi's overweight tom was probably his best friend, as he was so much easier to deal with than people were. Cuddles, pats and food. He liked the exact same things, and Titan was just the right size to be warm and comforting as he slept back to back with him, or tried to wedge himself above the swell of Eren's stomach, and below the pile of pillows Eren liked to use. Starting to walk across the room, Levi closed the door with enough force that he flinched "Sorry, it slipped. Before I forget, I left your mail in your room for you. I think there was a package and few envelopes" "Thanks. I'll look at them later" He didn't remember ordering anything, not that he could remember much of anything... fuck... it was definitely bed time. * Viren had come climbing into his bed on his own. Eren had thought sleep would be easy to find, but the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind decided it wanted to be wide awake. His thoughts running circles as he attempted to get comfortable. If anything, his bed was too comfortable, his body melting into the softness of his blankets, and the comfort of familiar scents. Pulling his son to him, he pressed kisses to Viren's hair. The boy was beautiful. Everything about him was so perfect, even if things had been strained between them, he could never hate him "Hey, baby. Have you been having fun with daddy?" "Daddy let me wear my pyjamas!" His son sounded so damn proud of the fact "Did he?" "Yep! And we watched 'toons!" "You love your "toons", don't you baby. What about Anna, have you been playing with her?" "She's a girl" "Yep. She sure is... where's daddy now?" "Daddy's in the food" So daddy was in the kitchen. Ok "And you thought you'd come see mummy. You know what that means?" Viren looked at him wide eyes "Kisses!" "Mummy! Nooooo!" Blowing raspberries on Viren's cheeks, his son screamed with laughter. So loud that Levi came to check "Viren, I told you not to disturb mummy. Sorry, Eren. I'll take him" But... cuddles. Viren would probably get demanding soon, but this was nice "He's alright" "You need your rest" "I am resting" "Viren, come to daddy" Daddy was still his favourite, yet Viren was sweet enough to look torn "It's ok baby, you go with daddy" "Mum?" "If you stay with mummy, there's going to be more kisses" Pursing his lips, his son squealed in anticipation. Kissing at the hands that tried to push him away, Viren managed to kick up and against his chest "Viren!" Scolding him, Viren was confused by his father's tone. Sure it'd hurt, but his son hadn't meant it. Tears welled in Viren's grey eyes "It's ok baby. You didn't hurt mummy" "I'm sorry!" "No. No, baby..." Wiggling away from his hold, Viren started to cry the boy stubbornly climbing off the bed to run off past Levi "Did you have to scold him like that?" "You're supposed to be resting" "I was having cuddles with Viren, not running a marathon!" "Don't get mad at me for worrying about you" "I'm in bed. I'm resting. Viren just wanted a cuddle and I wanted to give him kisses" Coming running back, Viren had his favourite teddy in his hold. Ignoring Levi, the little boy climbed back on the bed, shoving the bear in Eren face "Mummy!" "Hello, Mister Bear..." "Mister Bear wants to make mummy better..." Eren heart melted "Thank you baby, but I think Mister Bear is telling me he wants to be with you" Viren beamed at him, even with tear tracks down his face "We can share. Just this once though" "Ok baby. Mummy is going to have a sleep, do you want to stay with me? Or go with daddy?" Viren looked to his teddy, nodding as if it was talking to him "I want to stay with mummy" Ha. Suck it, Levi! "Ok, here we go, come curl up with mummy. Mummy missed you" Shifting the blankets, Viren moved into his hold. Mister Bear between them "I guess I'll go then... I'll be home a little longer, if you need anything" "We'll be fine" "Call if you do. Seriously, you need to be resting" "Levi, it's fine. I can handle a three year old who wants cuddles" What he couldn't handle was a 40 year alpha who was hovering as if he really couldn't handle their toddler. Blocking Levi out, Eren leaned over and pressed a kiss to Viren's forehead, surprised when the boy returned the gesture. This was far better medicine than anything he'd had in hospital.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 14 - I should probably start writing something today

Eren felt revolted with himself. The pup inside of barely looked human., the growth was terrifying to see on screen. His first thought was that the tiny pup looked like some kind of mutant, his heart racing as he wondered if the little life was in pain. It was so much smaller than their sibling, the guilt too much as looked from the screen. Yet the image was burned into his mind. He didn't know what to do now. He hated himself for thinking Levi's child looked so disturbing and disgusting, especially when Levi was so in love with them. His alpha wanted these pups so badly, but everyone was talking aborting, and making plans for his future without him. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He knew he was a bad omega... that's how they made it seem. Females and female omegas got sympathy from the staff discussing his case, while he just felt shunned. Judged over his dynamic... They might be awesome at their jobs, they wouldn't be at the hospital if they weren't, but he felt so dirty. Levi would be furious if he told him, so he hadn't. The staff were so much more politer to Levi about everything. They'd explained it to him, and possibly outcomes. Treating Levi like an equal, because there was no way at all an omega could understand anything. They could all fuck off. He hadn't even been able spend New Year's night with Viren. He'd been forced to finish Anna's birthday present in hospital, where they didn't appreciate his arts and crafts project. He'd bought the girl a proper high quality gold locket, it was large for her size, but knowing she'd grow into it. The project they hadn't like was when he'd carefully sealed two small photos with a water proof coating. One photo was of Anna just after her birth, while the other was from the photo of Moblit from the night of his 20th birthday when they'd all been so happy. Moblit might be gone, but he know how fiercely he would loved her. He wanted to make sure Anna knew that every single day of her life. Levi's gift to the little girl was paying for her ears to be pierced, not that his alpha knew. Levi would have probably tried to gift her cleaning supplies if he could have. Hardly the right gift for a four year old who was a total little miss. After 8 long days in hospital, he was finally released. In his opinion it was 8 days too many, and he definitely wasn't going to miss being there. Hanji had come to see him after his blow up, but he just wasn't ready to talk to her about it. He didn't want her apology, or her forcing a conversation about everything but the pup. He'd wanted more time to figure out everything with Levi. Levi was the father after all. Levi talked to him like he had brain cells. With Levi "supporting" him into their apartment, he was beyond relieved to be back home. Viren running ahead of them to jump on the sofa, sending Titan running with his happy yelling. Their son having decided that he wanted to wear pyjamas all day, or at least that was what Levi told him when he they'd come to pick him up. All Eren wanted was a shower and 10 years worth of sleep in his own bed. The stupid clean smell of the hospital had left him feeling nauseous for days. It wasn't the same smell as when Levi cleaned the apartment, and his alpha's scent wasn't there to push everything else away "I have a split shift, so I'll be out from 6 to 12, is there anything you want?" "A shower. Then some sleep..." "Do you want a hand?" Nope. He didn't want Levi looking at his body or his stomach. He didn't want anyone looking at his body or his stomach "No. I'll be ok. Why don't you spend some time with Viren? If I take a nap, I should be alright to sit up with him tonight" "I don't mind putting him to bed before I head out" It might not have been Levi's intention to make him feel like the alpha didn't think he could handle their son, but his omega went right there. He'd missed Viren so much, and really wanted to rest so he having extra long cuddles with his son. Finding himself nodding, Levi kissed him on the cheek "I put fresh towels in the bathroom for you, and I remade our bed" "I'm sorry. I think I want to take a nap in my old room... I'm just..." "No. It's ok. You do whatever you need to. There's something I need to talk to you about, but it can wait" You don't just tell someone that, then end it with "but it can wait". It was as bad as "We need to talk". What the hell was supposed to do with this piece of information now? Was Levi not under the impression that he was only mimicking a functional human being, when in reality, he was dead on his feet? He couldn't do the words, let alone the adulting. At least not until he'd showered and gotten every bit of shitty hospital scent off. Did Levi not know how much he was looking forward to not having to shower using a shower chair, under the supervision of a nurse because they thought he was going run off through the hospital naked? He wasn't actually sure if that was what they thought, he just didn't appreciate the hovering "Eren?" "Sorry. I'm too tired to think" "It's alright. Go take a shower, and get some sleep. It's nice to have you home" Nice. Not "Welcome back to where you belong". Fuck. He'd missed his omega, and the constant love it filled him with his for children. Now it could kindly fuck off again. It only had one job and that was more of a background feeling that the had push past its constant insecurities to feel. Now that he was home, it'd be easier to hide his thoughts and feelings from Levi. Levi had work. He had Viren to distract him, and Titan. He missed the fat cat, and had gone overboard with Christmas presents. Titan had been gifted a new grooming brush, new collar, a new tag, a new water bowl that was a fountain so he always had fresh water, a new feeding station, a new bed, and new scratching post. Levi has teased him for it all, but he couldn't help it. Levi's overweight tom was probably his best friend, as he was so much easier to deal with than people were. Cuddles, pats and food. He liked the exact same things, and Titan was just the right size to be warm and comforting as he slept back to back with him, or tried to wedge himself above the swell of Eren's stomach, and below the pile of pillows Eren liked to use. Starting to walk across the room, Levi closed the door with enough force that he flinched "Sorry, it slipped. Before I forget, I left your mail in your room for you. I think there was a package and few envelopes" "Thanks. I'll look at them later" He didn't remember ordering anything, not that he could remember much of anything... fuck... it was definitely bed time. * Viren had come climbing into his bed on his own. Eren had thought sleep would be easy to find, but the moment his head hit the pillow, his mind decided it wanted to be wide awake. His thoughts running circles as he attempted to get comfortable. If anything, his bed was too comfortable, his body melting into the softness of his blankets, and the comfort of familiar scents. Pulling his son to him, he pressed kisses to Viren's hair. The boy was beautiful. Everything about him was so perfect, even if things had been strained between them, he could never hate him "Hey, baby. Have you been having fun with daddy?" "Daddy let me wear my pyjamas!" His son sounded so damn proud of the fact "Did he?" "Yep! And we watched 'toons!" "You love your "toons", don't you baby. What about Anna, have you been playing with her?" "She's a girl" "Yep. She sure is... where's daddy now?" "Daddy's in the food" So daddy was in the kitchen. Ok "And you thought you'd come see mummy. You know what that means?" Viren looked at him wide eyes "Kisses!" "Mummy! Nooooo!" Blowing raspberries on Viren's cheeks, his son screamed with laughter. So loud that Levi came to check "Viren, I told you not to disturb mummy. Sorry, Eren. I'll take him" But... cuddles. Viren would probably get demanding soon, but this was nice "He's alright" "You need your rest" "I am resting" "Viren, come to daddy" Daddy was still his favourite, yet Viren was sweet enough to look torn "It's ok baby, you go with daddy" "Mum?" "If you stay with mummy, there's going to be more kisses" Pursing his lips, his son squealed in anticipation. Kissing at the hands that tried to push him away, Viren managed to kick up and against his chest "Viren!" Scolding him, Viren was confused by his father's tone. Sure it'd hurt, but his son hadn't meant it. Tears welled in Viren's grey eyes "It's ok baby. You didn't hurt mummy" "I'm sorry!" "No. No, baby..." Wiggling away from his hold, Viren started to cry the boy stubbornly climbing off the bed to run off past Levi "Did you have to scold him like that?" "You're supposed to be resting" "I was having cuddles with Viren, not running a marathon!" "Don't get mad at me for worrying about you" "I'm in bed. I'm resting. Viren just wanted a cuddle and I wanted to give him kisses" Coming running back, Viren had his favourite teddy in his hold. Ignoring Levi, the little boy climbed back on the bed, shoving the bear in Eren face "Mummy!" "Hello, Mister Bear..." "Mister Bear wants to make mummy better..." Eren heart melted "Thank you baby, but I think Mister Bear is telling me he wants to be with you" Viren beamed at him, even with tear tracks down his face "We can share. Just this once though" "Ok baby. Mummy is going to have a sleep, do you want to stay with me? Or go with daddy?" Viren looked to his teddy, nodding as if it was talking to him "I want to stay with mummy" Ha. Suck it, Levi! "Ok, here we go, come curl up with mummy. Mummy missed you" Shifting the blankets, Viren moved into his hold. Mister Bear between them "I guess I'll go then... I'll be home a little longer, if you need anything" "We'll be fine" "Call if you do. Seriously, you need to be resting" "Levi, it's fine. I can handle a three year old who wants cuddles" What he couldn't handle was a 40 year alpha who was hovering as if he really couldn't handle their toddler. Blocking Levi out, Eren leaned over and pressed a kiss to Viren's forehead, surprised when the boy returned the gesture. This was far better medicine than anything he'd had in hospital. * Levi was at work when Viren had woken him, his son shaking him awake to tell him he didn't want to go to sleep. What did it matter if Viren didn't want to sleep? He'd stayed for cuddles until he was content to run off, and now he wanted more cuddles again... he'd take them, even when they were an excuse not to go to bed. Lifting his son, Eren carried him out the sofa, dropping Viren down in the corner with a smile "Did daddy give you ice cream?" Viren shook his head. It didn't really matter if he had. He wanted ice cream and Viren didn't want to sleep. They had hours until Levi came home again "Do you want sprinkles? Or chocolate?" Viren hummed as if he were considering his options, when they both knew what it was going to be "Both!" Yep. He knew it "Ok baby. Give mummy a second" A second might have been a generous understatement. First he had to use the bathroom, then he had to make sure Titan had his wet food, and that there was water in his fountain, followed by checking the fridge for fruit. He had no idea why Levi insisted on storing the banana's in the fridge. They lived on the bench, in their bowl, where they were remembered. It was their home... not the bottom shelf of the fridge where they didn't belong "Muuuuum?" "Give me a sec baby!" Fuck it. He couldn't remember if he's ever had a banana split, or at least one like in the movies, but he was sure Viren hadn't. They had to be slightly healthy, right?. Nuts, dairy and fruit... and chocolate... oh... fuck it. It was worth it if it made Viren happy. They could all use some happiness in their lives. Settling down with Viren, the two of the shared the banana split as they watched Viren's choice in movies, something with super heroes he didn't know. Usually he was stuck with Anna's choice. She'd try and sit through the things Viren liked, but the moment there was a break, the program was changed before they knew what happened. The only time it didn't happen is when Eren had hold of the remote. Sitting with his legs along the sofa, Viren on his thighs, and his stomach as the table, both he and Viren jumped at the knock on the front door "Daddy!" It was too soon for Levi to be home. Scrambling off his lap, the toddler went running to the front door. He hasn't conquered the lock yet, so all he could do was hold the knob with both hands and swing against it impatiently "Mum!" "Mum's too fat to rush. Hold on" Stupid stomach. Being a table was about all it was good for... he couldn't stand it. And he couldn't cope with his hate for it, as one pup in there was still doing just fine. Knocking again, Eren was ready to ignore it completely. All their friends should know better than to knock twice, in his current condition, and delivery people didn't come this late at night. Levi had made dinner, so it definitely wasn't pizza. Hitching the chain on, he flicked the bolt round so Viren could open the door. Shooting him an annoyed glare, his son wasn't happy that it didn't open all the way. Forced to poke his head around the corner, his son huffed "You're not my daddy" The toddler than shutting the door in the face of their visitor "Viren..." He couldn't be mad at the boy for his bad manners, not when he wanted to do the same. Opening the door, he sighed, prepared to apologise for Viren's behaviour "Hello, Eren. It's been a while. I'm hoping we can talk" His first instinct was to slam the door in Floch's face. "A while" had been over two years. A while" hadn't been long enough "Eren, did you get the letter?" "What letter?" His voice was sky high, confused as fuck... and leading to Floch raising an eyebrow "Sorry. I've been in hospital since... well, a while" "I'm sorry to call so late. But when I didn't hear back from you, I thought it best I come tell you that you've been summonsed to appear" "Hold on. I have no idea what you're talking about" "I'm talking about the Karanes Incident. Look, can I come in? It's easier than doing this through the door" "Levi isn't home right now..." It was just him and Viren. He didn't need a panic attack, or his nosy three year old hearing anything "I did try to keep you out of it, but the trials going ahead. It starts in two weeks time, which means there's a lot to cover" Floch wasn't listening him. Why was he so shocked that an alpha wouldn't listen to him in his own home? "Hold on. Let me do the chain... Viren's just had sugar... He's either going to ignore you, or have a tantrum... you've got shit timing. I just got out today..." Talking more to himself, in an attempt to clam down, than to Floch, Eren closed the front door. Once again tempted to leave it closed. Karanes was years ago... Letting Floch in, Viren wasn't happy about it. His son refusing to go to bed, or to watch TV when there was a stranger in their house. Lowering himself down into a dining chair, he couldn't help but shy away as Floch's eyes drifted to his stomach "Congratulations" "This isn't about that..." "Viren..." "Floch. You're not here to discuss my personal life. I've been in hospital since just before the New Year, and now you're showing up on my doorstep. What is all this about?" "You don't need to be on guard" "Excuse me. I haven't seen you in years. I would have been fine without seeing you ever again. What is this trial? You said it wouldn't go to trial" "Because I didn't think it would. When The Church fell apart, the fall out was huge. Ministers. Politicians. Police. Their influence was wide spread" "I know that. Probably better than you do" Floch disregarded his curt words "One of the politicians is kicking up trouble in order to clear his name. The case is against both the Karanes and Shinganshima Police Departments" "And how does this relate to me?" "You are the son of Grisha Yeager. We know he worked for them for over a decade. It was you, and he, who destroyed the compound" "We both know..." "That you were involved. He's determined to show that the statement you provided, is nothing more than speculation" "So he needs someone to blame?" "Unfortunately. We did know there was a chance of this going to trial, and we attempted to keep you out of it. But as the only one who was actually there... if he can discredit you, he feels it'll go a long way to overturning the charges against him and his friends" "And if I don't testify?" "You risk being arrested" "I'm sorry. But I can't. I've got too much going on here" "Eren, he could walk" "And I'm pregnant. There's things in this world that we can't change" "Eren" "I gave you my statement. If they have questions, can't you just like... forward them on?" "His defence team is going to want to talk to you" "I can't do it" "Eren..." "I can't! Ok! I can't and I won't. I've been trying my hardest to forget all of it. Zeke. Grisha. Reiner. Bertholdt. All of it! I just want to be left alone" Wincing, Eren rubbed his stomach as pain flared across it, he wanted Floch out and the last thing he wanted was to go into labour or something. He didn't want to disappoint Levi "Eren. You've been summonsed" "And what? I'm an omega. We both know how that works" "That's why I tried to keep you out of it" Ouch. Yeah. No. Floch had to go. Rising to his feet, he glared down at Floch "I told you everything I knew. You have my statement. You have Levi's statement. Viren and Levi both nearly died from what happened. I will not let anyone hurt my family like that again" "If you don't testify, these people will be walking free" "They're not people. They're shit in human skins" "Then you should know we can let them get away with this. I've brought some photos, if you can identify any of them..." "It's been three and a half years! Nearly 4..." "You just have to look" "Leave my mummy alone!" Yelling at Floch, Floch didn't care. Placing down the file he'd brought with him, he placed it down in front of Eren. Eren sliding it back as he held one arm out, Viren not moving to his hold "Viren. Baby. It's ok" "You upset my mum..." "Viren, it's ok. He's leaving" His son continued to glare, Eren kind of proud his son wasn't letting himself be intimated "I'll leave this with you. And give you the night to think this over, and to talk to Levi about it" "I'm not going to change my answer" "There's actually a copy of your statement in there. I wanted to gauge your reaction. Read it. Think about it. Then we'll discuss those photos tomorrow" Floch saw himself out, like it was perfectly fine and normal. Eren frozen in his seat as he stared down at the manila file laying on the dining table. Why now? Why on top of this? "Mum?" He couldn't even look to Viren. His eyes glued to the stupid file. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to go back to that place, even if it was through words on paper. He didn't need to read the thing to remember. He couldn't forget, even if he wanted to. Levi bore the scars of his past. He bore the scars of his past "Mum?!" Anything he said would be pulled to pieces. Floch knew that. That's why he didn't want him around the case. Anything he touched fell to pieces. Anything he touched, he corrupted. Levi... Zeke. Moblit. His father. His mother. Viren. He'd nearly killed his son giving birth to him. He had. Levi had said Erwin had worked on him... The pup inside him... he'd broken them... Then there were the people he'd worked with. Zeke had burnt the club down. Zeke had killed the people who'd chained him up. He'd left a trail of destruction wherever he'd been "Mummy... you're scaring me..." His arm dropped. He was scaring his son... "Baby. It's time for bed" "Mum?" "Don't argue with me, baby" "I don't want to go to bed!" "Viren, please..." "I don't want to go!" "Then go watch TV! Just give me a break!" The moment the words came out his mouth, his face burnt with shame. Viren didn't understand. Covering his face, he shook his head. He couldn't fucking breathe. This... this couldn't be happening... His father had destroyed the compound. He'd seen it burn. All of it was gone. Whatever this was. This had nothing to do with him... This was Floch's mess. Floch was the one who'd gone after them all... "I'm sorry, baby. Can you please go watch TV?" He needed Levi home. He couldn't calm down... he couldn't calm down and he couldn't breathe. Not when this stupid file was here... He couldn't call Levi. Not on the night of his first day home. Not when he'd been rude to him earlier. He couldn't just call him home to save him from a panic attack... * Walking into his apartment, Levi had expected the silence. He'd sent Viren in to wake Eren when the boy hadn't wanted to go to sleep for him... what he hadn't expected was the foreign scent of an alpha he didn't know. In an apartment filled with his and Eren's scents, it stuck out like a neon sign, just as pungent and unwelcoming as Eren's scent of distress. Yet. Instead of focusing on that, his alpha was focusing on the real question. Who the fuck had been in their apartment and why? "Eren? Are you awake?" Locking the door, Levi shrugged off his jacket as he walked towards the laundry. His uniform stank, and with his heart racing, he was trying to calm down with an act of normalcy. Clothes off, laundry on then time for a shower. Trying Eren's door, he found it locked. Knocking lightly, he got no answer. He was still yet to tell his omega he was quitting work. Eren hadn't wanted to talk while he was in hospital. He'd mostly kept everyone at an arms length, only conveying the things he needed from home. Hanji has tried to talk to him, but she'd gone and put her foot right in it. He wasn't impressed either. Neither of them had truly had time to process, or talk. Eren's fever had returned, the medication administered had left him fading in and out of consciousness. Not that Eren had noticed, he'd start to talk, only to trail off a few moments later, and pick right up again as if he'd never fallen asleep in the first place. Levi had been trying to ask Hanji to leave before she decided to pick a fight with Eren. He knew Marco hadn't been in to see Eren, as Marco didn't even know Eren had been in hospital. Erwin had tried to push, earning himself a black eye in the process due to his lack of sensitivity over the situation. Mike had been decent enough to leave it as "Eren has an infection". Erwin had tried to calm him, calling it "a simple infection that didn't require so much worry". It was the morning after the Hanji debacle, and he'd ended up telling Erwin to "shut the fuck up, because he had no idea what he was talking about". This lead to questions and he'd acted without thinking. Knocking on Eren's door again, his omega stayed locked away from him. Part of him wanted to kick the stupid door in, while the more rational part of his brain told him to break Eren's trust by finding the spare key too it, and letting himself... He forced himself to do no neither. Returning to their bedroom, minus the Eren that had turned him room into theirs, with the hope that his mate would wake before he left for work. Maybe the could even have breakfast together, and discuss his retirement then. When his alarm blared at him at stupid o'clock, Levi was sorely tempted to destroy his phone. His face was frozen to the point his nose was running, and that was with the majority of him buried under Eren's blankets. Shivering as he climbed from their bed, he growled softly as he walked into the living area. The curtains that usually hid the balcony from sight, were fluttering in the cold winds of the morning. No wonder it was freezing. Unsure if he'd missed it due to his tiredness last night, or if Eren had opened it without thinking, Levi walked over to the doorway, ready to lock the outside world away. The sun was yet to rise above the city, the world a dismal grey as he shivered again. Pushing the curtain away, he found his omega sitting on the floor of the balcony, Titan laying next to him. This wasn't what needed first thing in the morning. Didn't Eren feel how cold it was? Or was he completely out of it? Stepping onto the balcony, he mentally cursed the weather, and Eren for making him come out here. Squatting down, he placed his hand on Eren's shoulder, his mate so cold that Levi's stomach did that annoying dropping thing it liked to do when something was clearly up with Eren. Forcing his voice to remain soft and calm, he didn't want to scare the omega into trying to jump, or startle him if he was sleep walking "Eren? What are you doing out here?" Blank eyes looked to him, Eren's lips tinged blue. He needed to get his omega inside and warmed up. He was still recovering and his immune system still wasn't up to scratch. Eren's body didn't need the stress of becoming a human popsicle "I'm not having an abortion" Right... ok. His mate wasn't in the best of head spaces "Ok... but that doesn't tell me why you're out here" "I'm wondering why I'm alive" Shit. Just. Shit "Did... did something happen?" "Yeah. I ruined everything" This was not the place for an in depth conversation "Eren. How about we go inside? It's come out here" "Maybe I can freeze to death. Wouldn't that be fucking funny?" There was absolutely nothing funny about that at all "Eren..." "I told myself that I wouldn't let you see... but I guess I just want your attention after all. I don't know why you stay with me" "Eren. Come inside so we can talk" "I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget how bad I was. My existence causes pain" "Eren, no" "I can't even carry your children properly. Did you even want kids? Or was that something else I forced on you?" "You know I did. I do. I love you, and I love Viren. I love the two pups inside of you" "If I die. Do you think everyone can finally be happy?" "If you die, I know I will never be happy. Please, come inside with me" "I'm tired, Levi. No one wants to listen to what I want. Not the hospital. Not Hanji. Not dad. Not Zeke" "I want to listen. Here, come here" Eren let himself be pulled up by him, but didn't make a move to help walk back inside. Titan ran straight in, giving him a look that seemed to say he was watching over Eren until Levi got his shit together. Doing all of the work, he got Eren to the sofa, then backtracking to close the balcony up, making sure the top bolt was done so Eren wouldn't be able to just let himself back out there again. Freezing cold, he made another detour, grabbing the topmost blanket off their bed, before finally returning to Eren's side. Sinking down on the sofa, Levi wrapped the blanket around both of them. He wanted to pull Eren into his lap, but the omega was sitting ramrod straight, now not giving into his touches "Eren, what happened? Can you talk to me?" "It won't change anything" "You don't know that" "I do. Nothing ever changes. I hurt people and they die" "What are you talking about?" "I don't understand why I'm still alive. I shouldn't be alive. Dad should have just killed me off when he killed mum" He was fast growing angry at the lack of sense Eren was making. It was too early for such shit "You're not making sense" "Don't worry. I won't off myself" "Why are you being like this?! You said you needed someone to listen. I'm listening. Shitty Brat, you know I couldn't live if something happened to you" "I told you it won't. I won't harm the pups either. I don't want an abortion" "I..." "Everyone wants me to have one. That's all they talked about" The hospital... But that wasn't the only thing they'd talked about. Every day medical science was improving. There were cases of tumours being removed and the mum's being able to carry safely. That was all depending on the growth of the tumour to begin with "We have options. Weren't you listening?" "Right. You're right. I'm sorry" "Hey. You're not alone in this. I wanted to tell you last night, but I've put in my resignation at work. As of the end of the month, it'll be official" "Why?" The small forced smile on Levi's lips, as he tried to make Eren feel something other than frozen, fell "Why what?" "Why would you quit?" "To be here for you and our children" "So I made you quit" "No. I made the choice for myself" "Would you have done it if I wasn't a bad omega?" "You're not a bad omega! You're my omega. My mate. And you're scaring the shit out of me right now with all this death talk" "I guess I've said too much..." "No. You still haven't told me what set this all off" "I did tell you. All I wanted to do was forget, but I'll never be able to" A nightmare then? It was the most plausible reason for Eren being so upset, his omega had had a nightmare and hadn't wanted to disturb anyone with it "Things will get better. You're still freezing. Why don't you take a bath, while I make us some breakfast?" "No thank you. I'm not hungry" "That's because you're too cold to think straight. If you prefer we can take a bath together. Whatever you need" Placing his hand on Eren's stomach, he wasn't trying to be suggestive, only supportive "How can you touch it?" "Touch what?" "Doesn't my stomach disgust you?" "No. Why would it?" Rubbing the swell, he didn't understand what was disgusting. He loved Eren's swell, and their pups inside. He was worried for their second pup, but that didn't mean that he didn't care for it "I was just wondering" "I love it. It fills me with pride to see you growing swollen again" Leaning in, he kissed the corner of Eren's lips, feeling nothing in return. Eren was definitely trying his hardest to push him away, and that wasn't happening "Let's just take a bath together. I can wash your hair" Rubbing Eren's stomach a little harder, the omega stiffly nodded "Ok then" Getting Eren into the bathtub and between his legs, he felt like being a bad father. He couldn't help himself. Eren was slick thanks to his pregnancy, and his nape was right in front of him, while his hands were resting on Eren's stomach. He knew Eren was struggling, but their sex life had been great until Eren's fatigue, and he missed the feelings that came from knotting him. He wasn't about to do anything up his love, but that didn't mean his mind wasn't thinking of bending Eren over the bathroom counter. He didn't feel sexually frustrated, though things had been stressful for both of them. Maybe a little release was what Eren needed? To not be in his head? Resting his chin on his omega's shoulder, he sighed softly "How do you feel?" "Warmer" "Good. It's going to be cold today, so you should stay inside" "I haven't got anywhere to go" Levi sighed again, this time at himself, before trying to sound playful "You know what I mean" "I do. I wasn't planning on going anywhere" "I have a split shift again, so I'll be home for lunch. Is there something special you want?" "Not really" "Should I just surprise you?" "You don't have to do things for me. You don't have to force yourself" "I'm not forcing myself. I love you" "How can you?" "Easily. I love you. I love you, Eren Yeager, and I'm going to marry your stubborn arse, just to show you every day I do" "You shouldn't have quit work for me" "I did it for us. For the five of us. I'm tired of missing things. I want more time with Viren, and you, and these two. I want time for us. I want to be able to have sex with you, then lay in bed with you. I went to watch bad horror movies and Titan failing to cat" "You want to have sex? When I look like this?" "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever met. You're fierce and fiery, yet you can be so soft and sweet. Your stomach is full of my pups, our family growing as you do. I could never not want you. Your just as sexy inside, as you are outside" Sliding one hand down to grasp his lover's dick, and using the other hand to force Eren to face him, Levi pushed a hard kiss to Eren's lips. He didn't understand what could make Eren feel so undesirable, when he was perfect. Jerking the omega softly slowly as he thumbed at Eren's slit. Eren was going accept he was sexy and did all kinds of things to every part of Levi's anatomy, whether he liked it or not. He wouldn't force himself on his mate, but he could touch him intimately to show he did want to. That's why he kept everything so light, so as not to make him feel forced. The only display of forcefulness was his forced kiss in attempt to show all his affections through Eren's lips. When Eren pulled away, he let him "Levi..." He'd thought Eren was about to cry, or to break. Softly replying "I love you" "I don't want this" Releasing his hold completely on his omega to honour his wishes, Eren scrambled to leave the bath. His actions jerky and sudden "Eren, I..." Giving him a cold glare, his heart broke a little more "I'm repulsive. Just... don't touch me" Grabbing his towel, his mate made his way from the bathroom, leaving a wet trail as he did. What the fuck was going on this morning?! Eren was cranky yesterday, but it was clear he was happy to be home. Now he was acting... crazy. He couldn't keep up and didn't know what he'd done wrong... Was it the hand job? Maybe it was the hand job? His alpha didn't think it was the hand job. The smug arsehole wanted to keep going with the hand job. God. Now he was going to have to start all over again... Eren's brain was just as sexy as his looks. If given the chance, his mate could prove he had a lightening fast sense of whit, and humour. While it took a tiny fraction longer for things to sink in, he was incredibly smart for a kid who'd never been to school then concurred the school thing in less than three years. He loved being able to have an intelligent conversation with his mate that wasn't to do with Paramedic Procedures... * Eren had retreated to his room, refusing to come out, while Viren was still sleeping when Levi left for work. Coming home for lunch, Eren was sitting on the sofa with Viren, his son climbing down and running over to him "Daddy!" Reaching up at him, Levi lifted Viren to his hip "Hey, brat. Did you miss me?" "Yep! Mummy made pizza for lunch, but I wanted to wait for you" The way Viren said "pee-zah" alway brought a smile to his face "You didn't have to wait for me" "I was good all morning!" "Were you now? Would mummy agree?" Viren shrugged "Maybe" "That's my boy. Give me a kiss" Viren kissed his cheek "Alright. It's pee-zah time. Eren..." Eren wasn't there. He looked to his omega in time to see him disappearing into his room. On his hip, Viren sighed "Mummy isn't happy" "Not at the moment. He's just feeling sick" "He wasn't happy last night either" Viren covered his mouth with his hand in a very Eren move, but his comment was already out there "What do you mean by that?" Viren shook his head. Gently pulling his hand away from his mouth, his son sighed "Some man yelled at mummy last night and mum yelled back" What? "It wasn't Uncle Mike? Or Uncle Erwin?" Viren shook his head, while Levi couldn't think of who would possibly picking fights with Eren "Ok, well. I'll talk to mummy" "You don't need to. Here" What was the point of closing his door if Eren was going to come reappearing anyway. Shoving a letter into Levi's free hand, his mate took Viren from his hold the moment he could "What's this?" "I had a visit from Floch" Floch... Floch was never good news. Ever "Karanes is going to trial" "He said it wouldn't..." "Yeah. Well. I've been summonsed. He told me he didn't want me near the case and tried to keep me out of it. Even being a whale with a complicated pregnancy won't get me out of it" "Eren. The last thing you need to be doing is testifying. When did you find out?" Last night. Right. The moment he said it, he remembered it couldn't have been any other time than yesterday "Floch showed up after you went to work. Viren and I were watching TV and started trying to mess with my head. I can be arrested if I don't testify. The defence? Wants to pull my statement about "The Church" to pieces so they can all walk" Moving to place his hand on Eren's arm, his fiancée flinched away "I can't stand being touched right now. I'm sorry, but you need to keep back. I'm either going to start screaming, try to hurt myself or go into another panic attack over this. I wanted to forget, but here we are" "You... this morning... I thought you had a nightmare" "You have to sleep to have a nightmare. I was reading my statement. Floch was ever so kind to drop a copy by. Viren didn't want him here. Not that I did either" "I wish you'd told me" "Levi. I came home yesterday. I told myself I wasn't going to tell you anything because I can't..." Eren waved towards his head with his free hand "... ok. I need to keep things together for a Viren. But he's all I've thought about. I'm tired. I want to thinks things out and just the thought of this going to trial makes me want to jump off the balcony or take the nearest knife and... Can you imagine Viren's life if he gets caught up in it? The son of a psychopath. The grandson of Grisha and the nephew of Zeke. What a great family line that is. I thought we could leave it behind..." Bouncing Viren on his hip, Eren kissed his son's forehead "For his sake, he can't know. I don't want him to know. About Karanes. About the institute. About the pup. Everything has to be ok in front of him" "I'll see if..." "If Hanji can take Viren? We can't ship him off all the time. It's not fair on him" "We need to talk to Floch about all of this. I wasn't shipping him off, I was going to ask if she could watch him for a few hours while we did. There has to be a way that this can proceed without your statement, or a way to keep you off the stand" "The only other person I knew who survived, then tried to kill all of us" Placing Viren down, Eren shook his head "I can't. Ok. I read my statement. I read it and realised how much I didn't remember when I gave. When I close my eyes, I can remember that place. I was there for three month, nearly 4 years ago and I remember it. I don't know what to do. I stayed up all night and I don't know what to do. I don't even remember what happened or how I ended up in my room" Floch was a fucking arsehole. Of all the time he could have shown up, he'd chosen while he wasn't even home. Floch knew that everything relating to Eren had to go through him. It was Eren's request. If he knew he couldn't handle it, he asked Levi to step in as his alpha and his "owner" as too much of society saw it "I'll talk to Floch. You do what you feel you need to do" "I don't think either of us want that. I just need you to not touch me, or knock on the door" Then this morning's bath was the last thing he needed. Shitty Floch. And shitty Eren for not telling him the previous night. He would have handled everything differently if he'd known any of this "I'm sorry about this morning. I wanted you to know I still love and want you" "This morning wasn't good" "I know that now... but, Eren, you're not repulsive. You're my mate. My lover, and my pride and joy" Shaking his head sadly, Eren stepped towards his room "I don't feel that great. Let me know when you're going to work"