#noooo don't die ur so sexy

[ledzeppelinhater]

viktor tsoi, graphite on paper w/posca pens.

[esorxy]

word of honor ep31 is something else entirely

they get intercepted on their rescue mission and just as the assassin people were about to rush forward and start stabbing, guess who appears spinning out of nowhere to save his beloved one true soulmate its wkx wearing hot red robes with sexy red eyeshadow, who boomerangs his little paper fan and slices their throats all in one go, does another little spin for dramatic flavour and slowly flutters down like an autumn leaf in the wind, successfully making the most replayed segment of the episode 🍃

and then everything he says from this moment on is like "fuck you, im better than you, eat shit" and DPJ is like "yeah ur cool and all but you're only one person" as if he didnt just kill half your men in one swipe while flying. anyway then zzs is like "who said hes alone" and steps out of his little carriage looking like hes about to die. like bro!! you cant even stand chill tf out. wkx comes over and holds his boyfriend and gets full on whiplash from switching too fast between (1) gazing lovingly at zzs and (2) murderous stares assassin gvng.

then like 3000 ghosts come out from the forest looking for a nice fight with 20 men, half of whom are dead, and the rest of them just dip like nope not today

they all kneel for our favourite gays and then wkx kneels as well and zzs, who still looks like hes abt to collapse and die, is like "fuck yeah im still influential" and awkwardly pats wkx's head like hes some overgrown puppy, which is not entirely inaccurate ykwim

so our power couple gets like 20 more kids for the price of none, and head back to god knows where to meet 😱 some more gays😱 one of them is a healer and the other looks like asian robert sean leonard so... whats new 😮‍💨

wkx finds some time to wipe off his eyeshadow and everyone is ready to die for zzs suddenly, and wkx goes from 🥺 "a-xu is gonna live??" to walking back into ghost valley in the blink of an eye without even changing clothes. scorpion king is also there 😱😱 i didnt even know they were working together cos i skipped all of the boring old people scenes. the twinks face off in some intense power play conversation where everyone wants to top, wkx has a mid life crisis in his pajamas featuring genocide and suicide but then hes like but SOMEONE taught me to live love laugh aka im in love, finishing off a killer episode that fully lives up to the drama part of chinese drama. my man needs to be locked up. in a mental hospital.

bonus: zzs in ep32, freshly injured from having metal hooks stabbed through his shoulders, is like "noooo little girl don't you know i need alcohol to live???" huge announcement everyone youve dedicated your lives to following an alcoholic 🤦

twink healer is like "bro u cant even taste shit" and james wilson is like "remember when u wanted me to find u a cute gf... but turns out... (ur gay)"

omg i wanted to stop, but like the dramatic clown ass scenes just keep coming what can a girl do 🤷

so zzs goes back to serving face (not that he ever really stopped) and he overhears that wkx is about to be forced off a cliff 😱. so flutters into this 50v1 fight with about 2% of the dramatic flair that wkx has, steps up to kiss him except they cant cos censorship, and is like "me n u against the world babe." 🤦

yby comes too cos this drama is tiresome and neverending, and wkx is like "im tired, kill me 🫠", which is so relatable, but then he puts up a damn good fight before falling off the cliff from one tiny needle through the heart. zzs also jumps after him and everyone is like 😱 even though they can literally fly.

but hes dead (not rly) so zzs burns his corpse by kicking a lamp at it and sits at the cliff to reminisce the good old times when he was a hobo and wkx followed him around like a clingy wife. he relapses into alcoholism and pulls all his nails out aaaand this is just romeo and juliet with gay and dramatic flair 😮‍💨

when do they stop serving face honestly like im fed up 🤦

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 14~

(episode 14 already??? IS IT ALMOST OVER?? OH NOOO I’M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN ;A;)

AH our intrepid duo have arrived at bixia sect!!!

aww the cute bby likes the scener--OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD

OH NOOOO THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! WTF???!??

i am glad that shiwu is getting some extra trauma btw, it'd be a shame if he had a normal childhood after all this

YAN WUSHI'S EYES WENT ALL PURPLE!!

he frowmn >:( like dis >:(

oh!!! my son is here MY SON IS HERE HI BBY!!!!

UH. wow the old man wiping blood off his mouth in a. kinda sexy manner??? hawt. 😳😳😳

yu shengyan all worried about him ;A; the letter, all symbolically splattered with blood ;A; wHAT A SCENE

is this a flashback??

ruan hailou!!! idk u yet but my opinion is low bc u and pu anmi are killing these ppl who seem v nice

AAAAHHHH TOO MANY NAMES!!! i'm getting a bit overwhelmed by all the introductions!! i’ll try my best, but pls forgive me if i get names wrong or miss a few ;A;

yue kunchi, ok he's a disciple here....that miniature chinstrap beard thing on him is....a choice 👀

also some of these other dudes have got like,,,,,,,sort of khitan style hair arrangements?? they look rad tho 💅

GIRL NO DON'T PROTECC HIM WITH UR BODY!!!

OHHH it's not a flashback!! SHEN QIAO ARRIVES JUST IN TIME TO HELP!!!!

lmao ruan hailou thinks he's the main character, it's very cute

ahh is pu anmi from the south then?? his animations are rly good actually, like i can just FEEL the disdain dripping off him, i can imagine him as an actual human in a live-action drama like, i've seen ppl do these....movements!! I LIKE IT!!!

ooh they gonna fight?? they gonna fight 😤

EWWWWWW HE LICKED THE SWORD!! DONT LICK UR SWORD MAN!! DO U KNOW HOW MANY DISEASES ARE BLOOD-BORNE. DO U WANT EVERY HEPATITIS. UR NOT SAFE FROM PLAGUE SIR

aww yisss now they fighting >:D

OH SHIT SHEN QIAO IS SHOWING HIM UP

FIGHTING TWO AT ONCE???? GET EM SHEN QIAO!!!! U ARE SUCH A BADASS SHEN QIAO!!!!

shen qiao is the epitome of 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee' today with his gentle winds ability!!! such beautiful martial arts!! 🤩

i love how there's always a guy describing the fight for us, the audience lmao 🤣 like a sports announcer or something, but for martial arts 🤣

FUCK YEAH THIS FIGHT SCENE GOES SO HARD!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!

WOOOOOO!!!!

Zhao Chiying!!! A LADY SECT LEADER!!! she is beautiful omg ;A; she is so pretty and graceful ;A; they all respect her so much ;A;

bixia disciples: great to see u zongzhu!! ur killing it zongzhu!! :D

lol ruan hailou looks like he just saw his ex at a party. awwwkwarrrrdddd

OH SHIT ZHAO CHIYING IS KNEELING TO THIS LOSER?????

she is so polite!!! she's a better man than i tbh!! i would never bc i am impolite as fuck :D couldn't be me luv, couldn't be me 😌👌

SUCH HONOUR. SUCH DIGNITY.

ohhh was........was ruan hailou accused of assaulting the previous master's daughter?? but he didn't do it, and he was wrongfully exiled from bixia sect?? maybe the subtitles are a bit unclear, or maybe i'm a bit dumb, or maybe it's both (it's probably both lol)

aaaawwwwww the disciples love her so much ;A;

OH GREAT EVERYONE IS NOW CRYING

wtf is even happening anymore??? im so confused lol

lol yeah girl u could have intervened BEFORE ur disciples got killed but whatever

now pu anmi is a prisoner to bixia sect!!! they have ONE DUDE, one SKINTY DUDE, taking him away, unrestrained. that won’t end poorly at all (unless the plot declares otherwise lol 🤣)

pu anmi: U GUYS SUCK!! MY SHIZUN WILL RESCUE ME!! AND UR STUPID BOYFRIEND YAN WUSHI IS GONNA DIE!!! >:(

shen qiao: :(  but we're not friends anymore :(

OH SHIT IS THIS GUY GONNA KILL HIMSELF???? DON'T DO IT BRO WAIT WAIT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD HE JUST

HE JUST WENT OVER THE CLIFF LIKE

THAT WAS SO FUCKING SAD???? IDEK WHAT HIS DEAL WAS BUT WAS THIS REALLY THE ANSWER??? poor fucking man, he was a twat but like........i feel quite bad for the man!! nobody deserves to feel that there's no way out besides taking their own life ._. even if u have done really bad things....u can do better! as long as ur alive, things can change!!!

poor shiwu....standing by the table, wiping his tears....he's seen SO much ;A; my poor bby boyyyy i wanna hug him ;A; COME TO BIRB'S WINGS, CHILD!! I SHALL SHIELD YE FROM HARM!!! :V

shen qiao: well i brought shifu's kid all the way here :)

zhao chiying: yyyeah about that. can u keep him actually??

shen qiao: u couldn't have told me this BEFORE WE WALKED ALL THE WAY HERE?? :) whatever fine i'll keep him, he's mine now :)

AWWWW SHIWU'S KOWTOW WAS SO EXCITED!!! HE'S SO HAPPY OMG!!!!! SWEET CUTE BABBY ;A;

HE SNATCH THE TEA FROM ZHAO CHIYING BC HE'S SO EAGER TO HAND IT OVER OH MY GODDDD ;A;

btw are his parents and sister dead now?? his old man's probably in gaol for taking another child hostage but his mum and sister were starving to death on a bridge. do u suppose they sold him to zhu lengquan. do u think they got a good price

shen qiao: btw can i stay over ur place?? i need to kill a man :)

zhao chiying: sure why not lol

[kitttenteeth]

Wait did that anon seriously just "noooo don't die ur so sexy :'( " you???

omg no lil internet meow meow don’t kill urself ur so nyan mrp awesome

[juliesthoughtposts]

welcome back bitches!!! it is time for another film review and today's is DON'T WORRY DARLING

maybe an unpopular opinion, but what am i here to do if not stir the pot, i really liked this movie. like, REALLY enjoyed it. of course, it wasn't perfect, but it was so interesting. i was never bored, not once! there was always something cool happening, whether it was a part of the actual story or there was just something pretty to look at or hear. maybe i'm biased because i'm a whore for mid century modern architecture but i don't care! the costuming, set design, and soundtrack were all A+. florence pugh was incredible. but she always is. no surprise there. i love her so much. and i didn't think harry styles was bad! not like showstopping spectacular, but he was not a horrible actor by any means. my only real critique was that i wish the story was a bit more cohesive. sometimes it felt like i was watching little snippets, like cartoon strips, instead of a full story. sometimes i wasn't sure exactly why we were going from one scene to another. but overall, i loved this movie and will gladly watch it probably 1000 more times

all in all noooo chris pine don't die ur so sexy

[jdeanmorgan]

Noooo Carl don't die ur so sexie hahaa

[naivety]

guys i’m unwell. normal tho

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

The Lost Tomb Reboot season 1: no-context summary

Bills

smoking kills

why are you touching that thing

wHY ARE YOU MOVING thAT THinG

[disaster, mayhem, explosions]

*a cryptic text message appears*

"haha let me pay you back in 30 years" [has 3 months to live]

I WANT TO BELIEVE [thunder noises]

[enter a priceless archeological site] "we need to protect this priceless archeological site" [proceed to blow it up]

twf when senpai prefers to hang out with two TOTAL LOSERS instead of noticing you :(

nerd-on-nerd bullying

"scientific" explanation makes no sense whatsoever, more at 6

the DUMBASS triangle

[a healthy dose of psychological trauma]

crab attack!!!

[rescued by a floating corpse]

top ten atrocities committed by local villain:

unnecessary English

investigative journalism, but it's "white people approach to anthropology" edition

[0] days since the local village was last razed to the ground

/gets shot in the gut/ tis but a scratch

how to win a gunfight:

1. run faster than bullets; 2. bring a knife; 3. be immortal

*brings an army to a hostage situation*

is this OUR terminal illness? fuck off

[getting kinkshamed on main because a creepy leather doll was caught in bed with you]

grounded by your mob boss uncle #unfair

💖presenting potential love interests for 40yo males:

20yo woman more emotionally mature than you why do i feel like you have chemistry with that teenage girl 20yo woman who acts like she's 16yo creepy ancient leather doll single mom getting involved in organized crime to get money for hospital bills

"time for you to get yourself a life because i'm gonna die"

Stuck for 1000 years in Amazon Warehouse Simulator: Graverobbing Edition

[deadly workplace hazard] [deadly workplace hazard] [deadly workplace hazard] [deadly workplace haza---for fuck's sake UNIONIZE

*brings a boombox to a fistfight*

((psychologically destroying your manager for fun AND profit))

Solving Mysteries & Bullying Local Mafia

noooo don't run errands for the mob ur so sexy aha

~~ let's play a ✨game ✨ ~~

goddammit jigsaw calm down

kill your manager before your manager kills you

in the end... you either die a hero... or get promoted to Greverobbing Amazon Director

[crepus]

Me @ signora: Noooo don't die ur so sexy haha

[brujadelacalle13]

Oh my god Defiance is killing me like I read part of it two or three years ago and then dropped off and today I just binged all 220k words in a single day like do you know how many words that is that is too many words the human brain isn't supposed to take in 220k awesomely crafted words in one day and anyways all this to say that your writing is cool even if some of the content doesn't sit right with me and I love your take on the Olympians and the Constellations go extremely hard (noooo Orion don't die ur so sexy with your willingness to kill whoever ahahahaa)

Thanks? 😅 i haven't gotten an anon in so long 🥰

[grartaire]

me at myself: haha noooo don't die of dehydration ur so sexy