#nonospace

[inhumanresources]

Advice to Human.  33.

We would rather ye who Gather collect HIDDEN SECRET instead of pointless curiosity, but your tangled skeins of experience and disgust need smoothing.  It is a terrible flaw. We make use of you still.  Spoiled synapses that fire in obligation are preferable to functional ones that spark undirected, unobserved. Here are your questions, tense with uncertainty, followed by a climax of elucidation. Question from Gatherer:WiltedChamberlain:  An A HUMANS grasped at my breeches unannounced and has disappeared into the NONOSPACE.  What is the protocol on this happenstance? Answer:  There is no need for any A HUMANS that preys upon the discomfort and pain of their peers (and those who masquerade as peers).  If the business genital is grasped by one who is not an accredited business partner, then Measures are taken.  Business Measures.  As the A HUMANS say:  If you do the crime, then you must be cast into a void beyond space and time.  Go about your Gathering.  The A HUMANS will not be missed. Question from Gatherer:CatharCommando:  I brandished my Furtive Graspers in the Official Method and plucked from an A HUMANS the HIDDEN SECRET.  But then the A HUMANS fell down and all of its juices flowed out from the top part.  All over.  All over.  Why?  Why do the juices flow? Answer:  That was not a HIDDEN SECRET you plucked with humming Graspers.  That was something else entirely.  You have made a terrible mistake.  Oops! Question from Gatherer:Brobelisk:  My Mood Synthesizer is broken, I think.  All it squirts is sadness into my meats.  Sadness all of the time.  Is this what it is to be A HUMANS?  Loathing pointed inward and out?  Regret that every decision precludes what might have been a better option?  What should I do?   Answer:  No.  Being A HUMANS involves mood-juices we have wisely denied you access to. Moods like ‘lust’ or ‘enjoyment’ or ‘contentment’.  We only grant business juices for serious Gatherers.  Please report to the nearest Liminal Gazebo and allow the Equipping Orifice to suckle ‘pon the synthesizer until it is put to right.

[inhumanresources]

Advice to Human.  22.

Due to a transcription error in the Gatherer Creation suite, several of you have been given a Cloak of A HUMANS that features the flashy, sporty genital instead of the dour, business genital.  Look down.  Yes, now.  Look inside the NONOSPACE.  If the genital you have been issued has a The Spoiler, the purple lights, or 22″ spinning rims, please report to the nearest Liminal Gazebo for corporeal disintegration and re-transcription.