#nonetheless i seriously pray for the women and the people who he hurt because of his behaviors and actions

[cosmojjong]

dude the news of liam's passing shocked me

[ohh-baekhyun]

Nothing Like Us | 04 - [M]

✨Summary: Baekhyun has the chance to spend three weeks under the same roof as you, and he makes it his sole mission to win your heart.

✨Warning: fluffss, smut, blowjob but i suck, no pun intended.

✨Gif credits: @/exo-stentialism

The next few days flew by in a blur of laughter, banter and sex. Lots and lots of sex. You and Baekhyun fall into an easy routine, like two love birds so wrapped up in each other, each day he can’t wait to get off work to be with you again. It is a pleasant feeling, knowing he has someone to go home to at the end of the day. The smile that you greeted him with made him feel so cherished, he wouldn’t trade that for anything else.

For someone who has been in a relationship and was hurt before, Baekhyun knows he shouldn’t be giving himself away this easily. But one thing about the heart is that, it doesn’t give a flying fuck what the brain thinks. Especially when the woman he is falling in love with makes it so damn easy.

He hadn’t said the three words to you yet, neither has you. But he knows he feels it, so fiercely that he had to mentally tape his mouth to keep the words from spilling. Somehow, he thinks it is better to wait, not because he is playing hard to get, but because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, or worse, pressure you into saying it back out of obligation. If you are falling in love with him too, he wants you to realize that on your own. For now, he’ll take things day by day and pray that you’ll come to that realization soon.

The car pulls to a stop in the driveway of his residence and he kills the engine before glancing back. The entire backseat is filled with shopping bags, and inside are the things he bought just for you. There are clothes, shoes, bags, lingerie and...Christ, he sounds like a psychopath even to himself. He doesn’t even like shopping, but he was at the mall for a lunch meeting this afternoon, and he had this sudden urge to shop, not for himself but for you. If it wasn’t for the fact that he only has two hands, he’s certain he would empty out every shop available. There’s no telling how you will react when you see how crazy he is, he can only find out when he walks through that door.

Carrying the paper bags in both hands, Baekhyun heads to the front door. The housekeeper is exiting the house, and she stops in her tracks when she sees him. Her gaze lands on his fully occupied hands, then she glances up at him with narrowed, judging eyes. Ms Lee has been working here since Baekhyun was a toddler. She has witnessed all of his antiques, but this, she has never seen before.

“I know,” Baekhyun sighs. “It’s crazy.”

She scoffs. “Crazy is to put it mildly, sir...”

“You’re fired.” Baekhyun grunts as he moves past her.

The housekeeper simply smiles and walks away. Baekhyun has fired him once a month or so since he was a little boy. She knows not to take his words seriously.

As Baekhyun steps foot into the foyer, he is welcomed with a warm smell of pastries that flows from the kitchen. He makes his way there, where he finds you standing behind a marble top, brows furrowing in concentration as you carefully draw out a piece of muffin from the baking tray to set it down on an empty plate. He watches as your lips stretch into a pleased smile. Knowing you’ve succeeded this time, his chest swells with pride.

Baekhyun knows you’ve been attempting to bake muffins for him, to which you’ve failed twice. The batter was too watery on the first try, and you’d burned the muffins on the second try. He recalls the defeated look on your face as you struggled not to cry at your failure. He’d tried his best to comfort you as he wondered, why do you have to beat yourself up for such a small failure? Then he remembers how you’ve spent all your life trying to impress your parents just to earn their approval and affection, yet, you’re still abandoned in the end. There, he finally understands. You were probably afraid that he’d leave too.

Sometimes it hurts him to see you like this, but he doesn’t know how to make you believe otherwise. Because, how do you convince someone who has been abandoned by the people who are supposed to love them, not to fear it happening again? In that moment, he realized all he can do is love you, with a deepest hope that it would be enough to heal your wounds.

Baekhyun sets the shopping bags down on the floor and walks over to you. You are too immersed in your task in hand, you didn’t notice his arrival until he slides his arms around you from behind and plants a quick kiss on your temple. You gasp and whip your head around.

“Hi,” He greets, smiling down at you.

Your feature softens in an instant and you smile sweetly back at him. “Hi,” you tiptoe to press a kiss on his cheek before pulling back to stare at him. “You are right,” your smile grows. “I can do many things if I try hard enough.”

He glances down at the baking tray, then you. “I take it the muffins turn out well this time?”

You hum. “I think so.”

He clutches your body tightly against him and gives you a loving kiss on your cheek. “I knew you could do it, baby.”

You pick up a piece, swivel around and hold it up to his mouth. “Try it.”

Baekhyun takes a bite and groans a little too dramatically at the sweet flavor that melts in his tongue.

“That’s the sound you make when we have sex.” You remark. “Is it that good?”

“So fucking good.” He dips his head to take another giant bite and ended up getting chocolate all over his mouth.

You laugh at the overly enthusiastic way he chews the food. “Babe, you got something on your,” you gesture with your free hand for him to bend his head. As soon as he does, you lick his lips, bursting into giggles as he tries to kiss you and smear the chocolate on your lips.

He continues to kiss you, licking and nibbling on your lips as his hands slide under your dress to cup your ass. He gives them a hard squeeze, and his cock throbs at the sound of your moan.

“Let’s go up.” He withdraws his lips from yours. “I need to fuck you.”

You stare down at the bulge in his pants, your lips twitching. “How come you’re horny all the time?”

“Everything you do turns me on.” He says.

Your lips stretch into a coyish smile and he watches as the color suffuses your cheek. Damn if that doesn’t make him harder. He groans. Now, all he can think of is the feel of your tight pussy wrapping around his cock as he fucks you mindless.

“Come on,” He holds you by the wrist and leads you out of the kitchen.

Both of you are moving past the dining table when he stumbles over something and stops. Dropping your gaze, you find a boatload of shopping bags lying on the floor.

You scan through the logo printed on the paperbags, then you turn to him, eyes narrowing. “Do you have a fetish for women’s clothing that I don’t know about?”

“Very funny,” he poses a faux smile. “Those are all for you.”

Your lips fall agape. “Fo-for me?!” You squeak, eyes volleying between the bags and him. “But why? It’s not even my birthday or christmas, or valentine? Why are you buying me presents all of a sudden?”

“I’m your boyfriend.” he reminds. “I don’t need a reason to pamper you.”

“Baekhyun, I..” you stare at the shopping bags again, shaking your head in disbelief. “This is all too much…I can’t–“

He pinches your chin, tilting it up so you are eye to eye with him. “When you agree to be my girlfriend, what’s mine becomes yours too. You need to accept that, because eventually, I’ll want to give you more.”

You sigh and jut your lips. “I don’t have a say in this, do I?”

“When it comes to pampering you, no,” he states firmly. “you don’t.”

“Wow,” you roll your eyes. “How did I get so lucky?” you mutters, voice dripping with sarcasm.

He stares at your lips, so wildly aroused he can’t help but to smash his mouth against yours, kissing you hard. Drawing back, he says, “You can thank me with your pretty mouth wrapped around my cock.”

��Are you done?” Baekhyun calls out from the bedroom.

You are in his walk-in closet, trying out the fourth dress of the night after he made you come three times in the shower.

“Be patient,” You shout back as you tie the string of the lace-up dress.

This dress could pass as a lingerie for how skimpy it looks. You know you’ll never wear this in public. Baekhyun will never let you, too. Although you love the soft pink color and the shimmery material of the fabric, it is so ridiculously revealing that you might as well be naked. Plus, it is hugging your body so tightly you can barely breathe.

You pivot in front of the mirror to take a look at the reflection of your back. There’s barely anything covering your back other than the tied up laces. You wonder what your boyfriend reaction will be.

When you step out of the closet, Baekhyun is seated by the side of the bed. He has changed into his homewear; a white tee and black shorts; simple, yet looking so handsome nonetheless. He is rummaging through a box that you have no idea what the content is. You lean your hips on the door frame, taking your time to admire him before walking over.

Hearing your footsteps, he lifts his gaze. “What’s taking you so–oh fuck,” his lips parted in shock the second he sees you in the dress. His reaction made you snigger. He looks dumbstruck as he sweeps his gaze over your body.

You stand by the bed. “Do you like it?” you ask.

Baekhyun pulls at your wrist to sit you down on his lap. You shift your bum and drape your legs over his thighs to make yourself comfortable. His eyes scan the dress again, “I love it,” he admits as he hooks his forefinger on one of the straps. His eyes shift up to you again. “but you’re not wearing this outside this room.”

You know you’ll eventually comply to him, yet, you still raise your brows in a challenge. “Have you always been this bossy?”

“You like me bossy, or you wouldn’t be here, in my bed.”

You let out a scornful huff. “Now you sound like a cocky bast–ahh!” He pinches your nipple through the dress and hold on. You whimper, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Baekhyun, please...my boob!” you beg. He finally releases it with a snigger. “You’re so mean!” You pout, rubbing your breast.

He pecks you on the lips. “Keep being a brat, I might spank you someday.”

“Are you…” You eye him suspiciously. “into that kinky bdsm shit too?”

The corner of his lip curls. “Speaking of kinky,” He swivels around to grab the box he was holding earlier. Your eyes follow his movement. He settles the box on your lap. Finally getting a clearer look at the content, you realize they’re a bunch of sex toys.

You look back at him, half surprised, half wondering, “Where did you get these?”

“I inherited them,” he sounds and looks serious. “from my great grandparents.”

Speechless, your jaw drop and you blink at him. You nearly fall for it until you detect a twitch on his lips, and the mirth in his eyes. You smack him across his chest. “You’re crazy.”

He flicks your forehead to retaliate. “I’m surprised you just figured that out.”

You groan, snatching the box away from his grasp. You dig your hand into the box to rifle through the content. “Why did you buy me sex toys?”

“Have you played with these before?” he asks. You shake your head. He sets the box aside and looks at you with this lazy look in his eyes. A look that means very good things to you. You gulp, anticipating.

“Take off your dress,” He says. “I’ll show you how these things work.”

You slide off his lap, and turn around to give him your back. “Can you help me out?” you ask. You heart races when you feel his warm breath on your back as he unties the laces. The front part of the dress drops to your waist and you pull the skirt down carefully. It is so tight you fear it tearing. A sudden slap on your buttcheek causes you to yelp, and you turn around in an instant. You feel the heat rising on your cheek as he stares at you. “What was that for?” You ask.

“You’re slow as a turtle,” He says. “Come here.”

You are tempted to retort, but that’ll probably earn you another spanking. So you do as he says.

When you’re seated on his lap again, he picks out a cylinder looking object that you assume is a dildo. You examine the toy, then you look at him, gulping nervously. “Are you going to put that inside me?”

His eyes hold concern when he senses your nervousness. He leans in to kiss you sweetly on the lips. “It is not going to hurt, baby.” he assures. “But I need to get you wet first.”

“I’m already…uhm, you know,” you chew on your lower lip, blushing.

He slides his fingers over your slit to test your wetness. Finding you soaked, his eyes flashed with heat and amusement. “You’re wet.”

You shrug, giving him a small smile. “Everything you do turns me on too.”

Baekhyun clicks on the tip of the vibrator to turn it on. The light, buzzing noise occupies the silence. “Spread your legs, baby.” 

You parted your thigh, but as soon as the tip of the vibrator touches your clit, the sensation made you clamp your legs together. He snaps his eyes up, raising his brows in a silent order for you to open. You brace yourself as you slowly part your legs again. And your moaning starts as soon as he plunges the vibrating toy inside your pussy.

He keeps his dark eyes on you as he fucks you leisurely. “You like this, don’t you?” He asks, pumping the vibrator in and out of you. You manage a strangled hum. “Do you want me to go faster?”

“Please…” you beg, breathing heavily.

“Like this?” He starts to move his hand at a rapid speed.

“Y-yes...ah-ahh!” The volume of your moaning gets louder. And that sound seems to encourage Baekhyun to go faster and harder. Your cunt is so wet that the sloppy sound of your juice is filling the entire room. He doesn’t stop even when you are cumming all over the toy.

Three orgasms later, you’re spent and Baekhyun finally stops when he knows you’ve reached your limit. You had your arms around him as you lean your head on his chest, too weak to move. He strokes your hair tenderly and presses a kiss on your head. A smile makes its way to your lips. You close your eyes with a sigh, savouring the affection he is offering you. You love it when he takes care of you like this.

After cuddling you for a while, Baekhyun says, “I’m hard as a rock, baby, it hurts.”

You can hear the pain in his voice. You giggle softly, feeling his hard-on beneath your thigh. “Can I help?”

“Get on your knees, then.” He whispers in your ear.

You unclasp your hands around his shoulder and slides off his lap. Your legs feel wobbly and you can hardly keep yourself up, but the need to pleasure him is stronger. You lower yourself by the bed and kneel in between his spread legs. Glancing up, you wait for his next instruction.

“Take it out,” he says.

Excitement shivers through your body as you pull at the waistband of his shorts. He lifts his hips, ripping his shorts down in one movement. His erection juts up, long, thick and throbbing with veins. You lick your lips, mentally salivating at the sight of his precum.

He weaves his fingers through your hair and grabs the back of your head. “Take me in your mouth, baby.”

Your hand gravitates toward his cock, and your fingers curl around the base. You part your lips and bring the tip into your mouth, tongue swirling around the round flesh to lick off his arousal.

A grunt tears out of him as his palm clamps around your hair. “Stop teasing and suck it.” He orders gruffly.

Baekhyun is a control freak through and through, especially in bed. And you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You bring his cock deeper into your mouth and clamp your lips around it. He moans when you start bobbing your head, pushing his hard length in and out of your mouth. Closing your eyes, you revel in the sound he makes.

“Ahh fuuck, just like that...” He groans throatily. “Take it deeper, baby. You’re sucking me so good.”

You thrill at his praise and draw his cock as far as you can into your mouth. The tip touches your throat and you choke at the pressure. Water forms in your eyes but it doesn’t stop you. His pleasure is your pleasure too, you thought. So you tighten the suction of your mouth and bob your head faster. His panting grows heavier and you feel his cock swelling in your mouth. His orgasm is nearing. But he grips your hair in a fist and hold you back. You glance up through your lashes to look at him.

“That’s enough,” he tugs your hair back, letting his cock slips out of your mouth. “Get in bed.”

You’re confused but you follow his order nonetheless. With shaky legs, you rise to your feet and climb into bed. You lay on your back, all naked with your long hair spreading over the mattress.

Baekhyun sets one knee on the side of the bed and stares down at you. “I’m going to cum all over you, baby…” He wraps his fingers around his throbbing cock. “and you’re going to watch me.”

Your heart lurches at his promise. You watch as he starts pumping his hard length with vigor. Beads of sweat form around his forehead. He looks so supremely hot with his jaw clenched, and his teeth biting down on his lip. You feel breathless just by watching him.

It isn’t long until you hear a long, guttural moan rips out of his throat. He jerks, shooting his load onto you. But he isn’t done yet. After muttering a few expletives, he bends forward to position his cock near your breast. His pumps is slowing down steadily. The tip of his cock brushes over your nipple as he spurts the remaining of his cum around your breast. His warm seed trickles down your pink bud, causing goosebumps to rise all over your skin. Your breath hitches.

Baekhyun straighten his back. He seems so mesmerized as he gazes down at you. “I’ve always imagined you like this…” he takes his time to scan every inch of your body. “you look so beautiful with my cum all over you.” He bends down and braces his hands on each side of your shoulder. Then, he leans in to kiss you, long and sweet. “Stay here,” he says as he draws away.

He is leaving you and the bed now.

“Where are you going?” you question, propping yourself up on your elbows.

He stops and bring his head around. “To get my phone,”

“Why do you need your phone?”

“To take pictures of you, pretty.”

Hearing that, you sit up and grab a pillow to cover your front. “I...I don’t think I’m comfortable with that,” You say weakly. His expression changes and your heart drops at the sight of that. Is he dissapointed? God. Through your worry and guilt, you can’t seem to tell what he’s thinking. “I’m sorry.”

His expression is still unreadable as he walks over to join you in bed. He extends his arms and slid them underneath your thigh, hoisting your body up with ease. He settles you on his lap and you’re still hugging the pillow to your body. You eye him apologetically. He frowns. “What are you sorry for?”

“I don’t know...I just feel bad for saying no to you…”

“Don’t be,” he assures. “I’d be an ass for forcing you into doing things you’re not comfortable with.”

You blow away a sigh. “But I ruined the moment...”

“Ruined?” He huffs incredulously. “I get to be with the prettiest woman I've ever seen. I’m lucky. There’s nothing more I could ask for.”

Relief eases the heaviness in your chest. For a while, you can only stare quietly at him, in awe. “You always know all the right things to say.” you smile gratefully. “Thank you.”

Baekhyun lifts a hand to brush his knuckle over your cheek. He seems to be considering something in his head as he reads your expression. Hesitantly, he asks, “Will you tell me what happened?”

Knowing where he’s getting at, you nod. You trust this man with all your heart you don’t even think twice but to tell the truth.

“The guy I dated in middle school. He had a video of me…” your words fade away but Baekhyun gets the idea, so you carry on, “We were together for a while until he started to get abusive. I wanted to end things, but he threatened to spread the video if I break up with him so…”

“Middle school?” he frowns deeply. “Aren’t you underage then?”

Regret fills your eyes with tears and you nod. “I know it’s wrong, but I had been so desperate for love and he is the only person who seemed to notice me,” 

“Fuck,” he presses his lips into a tight line. “How long?” his words came out rough and snappish. “How long were you dating that jerk?” 

“For two years until my dad sent me to Japan,” you chuckle dryly and joke, “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise afterall.” 

He isn’t laughing, instead his face darkens, and you can feel the rage radiating off of him.

To see someone as easy-going as Baekhyun being this angry should be scary, but it feels liberating instead. Because you know his anger isn’t directed at you. This man cares enough to feel angry for you.

“Baekhyun,” you call out to him. He seems to be lost in his own thoughts. So you lean up to kiss him softly on his lips. That’s when he finally looks at you, blinking. You smile up at him, “What are you thinking about so seriously?”

He grunts. “I’m thinking about the million ways I’m going to hunt this fucker down and murder him for messing with you.”

You smooth your palm over his chest, feeling so much for him your heart nearly burst. His body seems to relax under your touch. “It’s all in the past, honey,” you assure him. “I’m okay now.”

“Did you tell anyone about this?” He asks.

You shake your head. “I can’t, it’s...embarassing.”

His brows pinched together in a frown. “Yet you told me about it...why?”

“Because I trust you,” you answer honestly. 

And deep inside, you know you didn’t just trust him. You are falling in love with him too.

[islambeyondtheveil-blog]

My Very Own Story

Salam Alakum to all those out there!!! I am a 37 year old female who has been a convert for 12 years in the USA. I created this blog because of the homelessness I have experienced as a Muslim women in part due to me being a Muslim convert and because I have seen A LOT OF HOMELESS MUSLIM WOMEN in my last 12 years, I have in my last 12 years faced homelessness on and off just because of being a Muslim convert. I was actually homeless when I converted to Islam a single mother with 2 children bouncing around from job to job working as many as three jobs at once trying to survive and take care of my children. It was not easy. I turned Islam as a source of peace and serenity. However, it also contributed in my acute homelessness. Before converting to Islam I was hidden homeless stay with friends and family and bouncing around. Once I became Muslim that all changed I became acutely homeless for a period of time. I was a Muslim for one month and then brought to Chicago by some Muslim men who helped me out to get an apartment. I transferred jobs. I was not accustomed to honor and shame culture nor was I experienced with Muslim dominated cultures such as Arab culture or Pakistani culture. I was quit to be recruited for marriage and it was not a story with a happy ending. It was an imam looking to use me for papers for one of his relatives, his plan was to marry me religiously, then once he got me overseas he said marry him in the court, but I later learned he had his brother on my visa application not him. Well, once he told me I would be moving overseas and staying there and he wasn’t staying with me, he was moving back to the USA with another wife and I would stay in his country, I couldn’t go to the store, but his 6 year old son could, I let my friends know what he told me after the marriage nuptials “religious ones” not in the court, they whisked me off from him, later forcing him to religiously divorce me. His plan was a very disguised plan to marry me off in the court for a green card, maybe sell my citizenship, but nonetheless it was an attempt at human trafficking and not a real attempt. He didn’t even tell his community he had married and subsequently they fired him as the imam. I was left homeless again and without a job. The local masjed in BRIDGEVIEW, IL wouldn’t help me in my situation that was about 12 years ago now. However I was able to rent a room from another convert who had been a convert 20 years. She had horror stories about her time as a convert and had faced homelessness as well. Then another convert friend of mine moved to North Carolina where she asked me to visit her Palestinian husband was a gas station manager, he offered to give me a job, so I hit the road and went to NORTH CAROLINA! Yeahs was excited. I got there and they offered for me to stay with them and he would give me a job. Although after a week he said he wouldn’t only hire me if I let him keep my paycheck and he would manage all my money. I said no that is ridiculous, I can pay rent from my paycheck and manage my own money. He asked me for $600 for staying at their house and then he kicked me out because I refused. I was left homeless again. Living in my car in a small city in North Carolina. So I managed to get a job working in retail making a little money and was in school online so had some money from financial aid. I was able to rent a room on craigslist after about a week of sleeping rough in my car. I had no idea there was a mosque but didn’t think to ask because I had the mosque in Chicago refuse to help me. I worked there for a while that year and was able to rent a small house for $400 a month on an old plantation, it had some real issues including well water that was very bland and I think poisoned with lead or fracking residue. It was orange and stained like rust. I had no other options. I meet some Muslim ladies that helped me get some furniture. But I lost my job again after having to go to court for my kids. Of course as a single mother who converted to Islam I needed family help and that I did get, at the expense of them alienating me from my children after I gave them temporary custody. But Islam was my foundation regardless all these foul experiences with Muslims… I kept up the faith. So Then the Imam who I married for like a month actually was still married but separated. I became friends with his wife an she told me about MUSLIMA.COM to find a spouse. She said Islam is half your deen you should get married and your husband will take care of you. I had tons of offers on there. I was skinny, a convert, cute, and religious. Except I was naive to think they were all genuine. I met a Moroccan man who told me he was a green card holder and had it all worked out. I refused to sponsor anyone. BUUUUT didn’t ask to see his papers in my face. We did marry after talking for 3 months. We never kissed or touched until the moment we married. I was very religious at that time. I was praying all my prayers, wearing a hijab and abaya mostly very conservative cloths. I was very happy with the faith and even I didn’t have any Muslim friends. Everything seemed like a fairy tale, he was handsome, romantic, we seemed to have everything in common. But not until after a month of marriage did he break it to me, he couldn’t work, nor had any money, and also, didn’t have a sponsor for his papers. His visa was expired. I was like seriously??? I had no idea what to do. I offered him $500.oo of my student loan money to go back from where he came from. But I hurt his feelings, he swore up and down he was in love with me. So I prayed about it. Yes I did pray salata istikara before the second marriage, I didn’t know what it was the first time around. By the way that Imam was a PHD in sharia Islamic jurisprudence, fiq and usul fiq from a Uni Saudia Arabia. What a jerk!! Ok back to marriage two. I was like barley surviving and now I was going to be homeless again with this guy from morocco who apparently I adopted. Like I needed another person to $$$$ dish money out for when I couldn’t even take care of myself. Guess what I asked everyone to help sponsor him. Friends, family, strangers, yes I did ask tons of people to help. But he had some friends in Florida so we went to Florida. Well there I got a job right away a good job too that allowed me to sponsor him. So I did for the sake of ALLAH and gave him the benefit of the doubt he was a good guy. He was my brother in Islam after all. And no the imam that married me to him didn’t ask him anything related to him needing a sponsor or if he could afford a wife. Notta. Just bismillah you are now husband and wife. Well, I only asked him to memorize a surate with me. He never even would pray with me let alone read the Quran. His total attitude changed once in Florida after I started the sponsor paper work. There were lots of red flags but I kept praying ALLAH would fix things. I ended up losing my job due to discrimination AGAIN……. AGAIN!!! But we were still married. He did work but I did get income from unemployment too. In fact the whole time we were married he didn’t spend money on me. I was financially contributing. He also managed all the money and yes–that was a mistake cause he was taking all my money. The only thing I got from him in the marriage was a new phone, the phone company gave for free with a new contract. Around the time limit being over for the temporary green card I was very sick and in and out of the hospital. I almost died and was very ill. He had me sign papers he said immigration needed another application for another temporary green card for him. I was sick during the last few years of marriage. Well besides all the red flags, he decided he was just going to abandon me and leave me. He said I got my green card in the mail and I never loved you. He put his stuff into his car “I payed for” and was going to leave me in an apartment with everything in my name. Just like that. Not even one care about me not having money, not having a way to survive, not having a support system. Nothing. He had what he wanted. I called police cause he tried to leave. I reported that he just got his green card. He stayed for another week. But he became very abusive. He put a knife to my throat and said that if I do not apply for divorce he was going to call the police and say I came after him with a knife and tried to stab him. I APPLIED FOR DIVORCE THE VERY NEXT DAY. Yes I did!!!!! And yes alhumdulilah I just said ALLAH knows best. So I ended up homeless again. Yes I did, and very sick and almost dying this time. I was staying with friends, and in my car. I tried to stay at the mosque but they said it was not a homeless shelter that I needed to leave or they would call police on me. I was very lucky alhumudlilah wasn’t for very long. But I was able to get a very bad paying job at Disney World and was able to rent a condo for my entire pay. I was really sick though and my medicine costed $80,000 a year if I didn’t have it to stay alive I would die. So I decided to head back to Chicagoland area. I had a friend I kept in touch with for the past 9 years while I was moving all around. She said come back to Chicago. So I did, got back to Chicago, only for her to try and force me to marry a man who needs papers, apparently that is a thing in Chicago. She also tried to some other very serious criminal stuff to me. But she was also doing this to other homeless women in the community. Yes I reported this as human trafficking. Either born Muslim or not, that is not right. So I ended up at the masjed once again at Bridgeview, IL and face to face with the IMAM who said not one word about how he was sorry, didn’t offer any support, no referral, no community referrals, nothing, just told me well there is a hotel down the street,  JUST GET LOST - that the masjed is not responsible for the homeless. So after this experience, of being rapped, a domestic violence victim, repeatedly homeless due to discrimination and lack of support from the Muslim community I stopped, I repeat STOPPED wearing the hijab. I have also started really hating mosques, imams and Muslims. WORSE is that born Muslim women also face homelessness, its not a convert only thing. And there is no support or love for us in need at all. We are hidden and shamed. I mean if we were a shinny new mosque they would pay for us. But no because we are not valued members of the community we don’t matter, nor does our needs or problems. But Muslims are very much the problem here, born men and women Muslims often shame those in need. My experience had made me question my faith in the end. I feel like there should be some awareness around the issue. So I created this blog for ladies to share there stories. 

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

BETTER & BETTER....

😠 THIS JUST GETS BETTER & BETTER DOESN'T IT?😠

And for THIS, we gave our LIVES????

Ahhh... the MOONIVERSE 😂 😂 😂

Don't cha jus LUV IT ??  I SMELL Something here.........

MONEY 💸 MONEY 💸 MONEY 💸

KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS 🍇

THE 🍎 DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE 🌳

The THINGS People do for MONEY 💸💸💸💸 are the ROOT of ALL EVIL

      ACTION speaks LOUDER than WORDS 🙈🙉🙊

😉 LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS 😉

K€£¥ T€£¥€£A EXPOSES SCHANKER DECEPTION

"Phillip’s letter is a continuation of his continuous actions to deceive and COVER UP the actual TRUTH. IN 2009, in December, Patricia Lorentzen met with him privately to share her shock in discovering that BEN was SEXUALLY INVOLVED with IN JIN MOON - Daughter of Self-Proclaimed Lord of the Second Advent Sun Myung Moon. (Not in 2012, as he states in this letter.) RATHER than keep her report confidential, HE CHOSE to inform IN JIN and BEN that she had told him this, ostensibly to find out whether there was truth in it. Reportedly, THEY DENIED IT …but immediately SENT a GOON SQUAD (Ben and Bill Miho) to EJECT Patricia and her two SONS (PENNILESS and in a FOREIGN COUNTRY) from the BARE New Yorker bedroom Ben had arranged for her…a BARE MATTRESS on the floor for a MOTHER and TWO SONS, NO sheets, NO blankets

PHILLIP, as HEAD of the BLESSING Department and Vice President of the church, not only did NOT follow proper procedure in protecting the wronged spouse, he actively  😒 COLLUDED and CONSPIRED😒 to COVER UP the vicious treatment of Patricia. He PRETENDS, in this letter, to believe the marriage was already over. In fact, he KNEW that BEN had FALLEN previously WITH 😘7 OTHER WOMEN😘 during the course of the Blessing, that Patricia’s motivation was protecting 😬In Jin’s REPUTATION😱, family and situation. He also knows that Patricia was LEGALLY married to Ben at the time of this “VISIT.”

PHILLIP sought to create a 😨FALSE set of DOCUMENTATION😵 alleging that the marriage was over BEFORE the visit, by CRAFTING a letter characterizing Ben as a “FORMER husband” RATHER than existing spouse, and also, by INSISTING she RELEASE HSA from CULPABILITY  💸💸💸💸 (because as a church official and active participant, HE HIMSELF would be LIABLE.)

Here is the text of the letter which Patricia REFUSED to sign as it would be PERJURY🍁:

I, Patricia Brunet (Lorentzen), residing at ___________________________, France, hereby acknowledge RECEIPT from the Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity (“HSA-UWC”) of the SUM of $7,000 as REIMBURSEMENT for expenses incurred by me in relation to an attempted meeting in New York with my "FORMER" husband - LIE, Ben Lorentzen, in December 2009.

I understand that this payment is NOT an acknowledgement of 🍁WRONGDOING by HSA-UWC🍁.

This payment is accepted as a FULL and 🍁FINAL settlement of any and all CLAIMS that I may have against HSA-UWC🍁. Dated ___________________

_____________________________ Patricia Brunet

PHILLIP SCHANKER PRESSED Patricia to SIGN, and when she told him it was 😠NOT FACTUAL😠, that they were indeed STILL married, he sent the document to France to have church officials there PRESSURE her from THEIR side.

This was NEVER an attempt to “embrace” or help Patricia. PHILLIP SCHANKER continued to 👿LIE, COVER UP👿, and even now, PRETENDS he had NO knowledge of the 👿ADULTEROUS BEHAVIOR of these two, and of IN JIN with ALISTAIR👿, when in fact, IT WAS REPORTED to HIM THROUGH MULTIPLE SOURCES over a SEVERAL-YEAR period.👹

👽HE also ALLOWED IN JIN to CONTROL INFORMATION, to DOMINATE and CENSOR any public discussion👽, to send her actual husband (who she supposedly knew to be himself an adulterer and an out of control drug addict, a person of rage and violence and bullying behavior) to be in close CONTACT and regular “guidance” to the large numbers of youth she SOUGHT to bring into her ORBIT.

He also participated in SMEAR campaigns against HER brother, HID THE TRUTH from her parents, and from ALL the blessed families.

As Blessed Family department director, 😜HE ALLOWED her to REWRITE the CONDITIONS, nature of PREPARATION, STANDARDS and DEFINITIONS of the BLESSING😜. He let genuine and practicing Blessing educators be 😝FIRED😝 for teaching the ORIGINAL standards of the Blessing…including during the time Father was directly insisting on his actual teachings to be given.

PHILLIP’S attempt to FRAME a COMEBACK as a type of reconciliation, unity or forgiveness is a BALD ATTEMPT for him to ☻RE-INGRATIATE HIMSELF ☻ with those he believes capable of REWARDING him with a SALARY  💸💸💸💸 and a POSITION of respect. He has NOT taken a stand of conscience…he is NOT standing on the actual original word or desire of God for pure and unfallen lineage to be established as the unchangeable standard.

God’s word, and God’s standard, is NOT to be trifled with. To speak DISHONESTLY, in the name of God, is a fearful, FEARFUL thing.

K€£¥"

Jan 1st, 2016

MORE YOU MIGHT LIKE

Members Show Anger Toward Ben: Michael & Maria Kiely Reply to Ben Lorentzen

"Dear BEN,

Maria and I feel we need to respond to this letter because of the deep sense of BETRAYAL and HURT that many, perhaps most, of us feel over what has happened. Your letter and In Jin Nim’s written and verbal communications have only DEEPENED that HURT.

We do value the substantial contribution that you have made to Lovin’ Life. Your music was heartfelt and beautiful. We also value the new life that In Jin Nim infused into the American church and the excitement of many second gen who had, until a few years ago, distanced themselves from the church. There was much that was positive and healing about In Jin Nim’s ministry. She has indeed touched our lives.

Nonetheless, as Hyung Jin Nim said to us at the Manhattan Center recently, we need to recognize that “SIN is SIN.” In addition to the deep pain your relationship has reportedly caused True Parents, all the wonderful good that you have done among us has been seriously compromised by the clear DIFFERENCE between what In Jin Nim REPRESENTED TO US in her sermons and other communications and what SHE ACTUALLY DID in her personal life over the past year or so. She CALLED on US to live by a MUCH MORE principled standard THAN she herself was apparently prepared to live by.

🍁ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS🍁

🌺PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH🌺

Please try to understand how PAINFUL the revelation of this INCONSISTENCY has proved to be for our whole community. And please try to understand how much it HURTS to see our CHILDREN — in whom we have invested many tears and for whom In Jin Nim had recently given us reason to hope — DISTANCE themselves AGAIN from the church BECAUSE of your SIN.

  😠 CAN U SPELL "HYPOCRISY" ?😠

How can we all heal? If either or both of you had repented for the harm you have done, that could have contributed to healing.

UNFORTUNATELY, in your communications you have BOTH sought to JUSTIFY your UNPRINCIPLED position instead. You have both RUBBED SALT in the wounds of our community by emphasizing how happy you are in this relationship that has devastated our community.

Both of YOU 🐞ACCUSE🐞 your blessed SPOUSES of being ABUSIVE  (HOW CONVENIENT😉), appear to ACCEPT NO responsibility whatsoever in your public communications for the FAILURES in those relationships. We cringe at the example this sets for our young people, most of whom face challenges in their own blessed relationships. WHAT a CONTRAST to In Jin Nim’s inspiring message of July 1 of this year to the 8000 couples on their 30th anniversary in which she encouraged couples on their path of creating an “I-deal family.”

In retrospect, does In Jin Nim now GAG on those words — and on the many others she uttered with APPARENT sincerity from the national pulpit at the Manhattan Center?

Ben, it would have been better if neither of you had written these slap-in-the-face letters publicly seeking to JUSTIFY your unprincipled, unjustifiable position. They caused us all — and surely True Parents — additional PAIN. Maria and I would have remained silent if you had not written these letters; we have no heart to accuse or judge you because you are our brother and True Sister whom we love and pray for. But your public stance attempting to justify this sin festers these wounds and thus demands a public response." 😠

[dixiechikdigger]

BETTER & BETTER. ...

😠 THIS JUST GETS BETTER & BETTER DOESN'T IT?😠 And for THIS, we gave our LIVES???? Ahhh... the MOONIVERSE 😂 😂 😂 Don't cha jus LUV IT ?? I SMELL Something here......... MONEY 💸 MONEY 💸 MONEY 💸 KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS 🍇 THE 🍎 DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE 🌳 The THINGS People do for MONEY 💸💸💸💸 are the ROOT of ALL EVIL ACTION speaks LOUDER than WORDS 🙈🙉🙊 😉 LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS 😉 K€£¥ T€£¥€£A EXPOSES SCHANKER DECEPTION "Phillip’s letter is a continuation of his continuous actions to deceive and COVER UP the actual TRUTH. IN 2009, in December, Patricia Lorentzen met with him privately to share her shock in discovering that BEN was SEXUALLY INVOLVED with IN JIN MOON - Daughter of Self-Proclaimed Lord of the Second Advent Sun Myung Moon. (Not in 2012, as he states in this letter.) RATHER than keep her report confidential, HE CHOSE to inform IN JIN and BEN that she had told him this, ostensibly to find out whether there was truth in it. Reportedly, THEY DENIED IT …but immediately SENT a GOON SQUAD (Ben and Bill Miho) to EJECT Patricia and her two SONS (PENNILESS and in a FOREIGN COUNTRY) from the BARE New Yorker bedroom Ben had arranged for her…a BARE MATTRESS on the floor for a MOTHER and TWO SONS, NO sheets, NO blankets PHILLIP, as HEAD of the BLESSING Department and Vice President of the church, not only did NOT follow proper procedure in protecting the wronged spouse, he actively 😒 COLLUDED and CONSPIRED😒 to COVER UP the vicious treatment of Patricia. He PRETENDS, in this letter, to believe the marriage was already over. In fact, he KNEW that BEN had FALLEN previously WITH 😘7 OTHER WOMEN😘 during the course of the Blessing, that Patricia’s motivation was protecting 😬In Jin’s REPUTATION😱, family and situation. He also knows that Patricia was LEGALLY married to Ben at the time of this “VISIT.” PHILLIP sought to create a 😨FALSE set of DOCUMENTATION😵 alleging that the marriage was over BEFORE the visit, by CRAFTING a letter characterizing Ben as a “FORMER husband” RATHER than existing spouse, and also, by INSISTING she RELEASE HSA from CULPABILITY 💸💸💸💸 (because as a church official and active participant, HE HIMSELF would be LIABLE.) Here is the text of the letter which Patricia REFUSED to sign as it would be PERJURY🍁: I, Patricia Brunet (Lorentzen), residing at ___________________________, France, hereby acknowledge RECEIPT from the Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity (“HSA-UWC”) of the SUM of $7,000 as REIMBURSEMENT for expenses incurred by me in relation to an attempted meeting in New York with my "FORMER" husband - LIE, Ben Lorentzen, in December 2009. I understand that this payment is NOT an acknowledgement of 🍁WRONGDOING by HSA-UWC🍁. This payment is accepted as a FULL and 🍁FINAL settlement of any and all CLAIMS that I may have against HSA-UWC🍁. Dated ___________________ _____________________________ Patricia Brunet PHILLIP SCHANKER PRESSED Patricia to SIGN, and when she told him it was 😠NOT FACTUAL😠, that they were indeed STILL married, he sent the document to France to have church officials there PRESSURE her from THEIR side. This was NEVER an attempt to “embrace” or help Patricia. PHILLIP SCHANKER continued to 👿LIE, COVER UP👿, and even now, PRETENDS he had NO knowledge of the 👿ADULTEROUS BEHAVIOR of these two, and of IN JIN with ALISTAIR👿, when in fact, IT WAS REPORTED to HIM THROUGH MULTIPLE SOURCES over a SEVERAL-YEAR period.👹 👽HE also ALLOWED IN JIN to CONTROL INFORMATION, to DOMINATE and CENSOR any public discussion👽, to send her actual husband (who she supposedly knew to be himself an adulterer and an out of control drug addict, a person of rage and violence and bullying behavior) to be in close CONTACT and regular “guidance” to the large numbers of youth she SOUGHT to bring into her ORBIT. He also participated in SMEAR campaigns against HER brother, HID THE TRUTH from her parents, and from ALL the blessed families. As Blessed Family department director, 😜HE ALLOWED her to REWRITE the CONDITIONS, nature of PREPARATION, STANDARDS and DEFINITIONS of the BLESSING😜. He let genuine and practicing Blessing educators be 😝FIRED😝 for teaching the ORIGINAL standards of the Blessing…including during the time Father was directly insisting on his actual teachings to be given. PHILLIP’S attempt to FRAME a COMEBACK as a type of reconciliation, unity or forgiveness is a BALD ATTEMPT for him to ☻RE-INGRATIATE HIMSELF ☻ with those he believes capable of REWARDING him with a SALARY 💸💸💸💸 and a POSITION of respect. He has NOT taken a stand of conscience…he is NOT standing on the actual original word or desire of God for pure and unfallen lineage to be established as the unchangeable standard. God’s word, and God’s standard, is NOT to be trifled with. To speak DISHONESTLY, in the name of God, is a fearful, FEARFUL thing. K€£¥" Jan 1st, 2016 MORE YOU MIGHT LIKE Members Show Anger Toward Ben: Michael & Maria Kiely Reply to Ben Lorentzen "Dear BEN, Maria and I feel we need to respond to this letter because of the deep sense of BETRAYAL and HURT that many, perhaps most, of us feel over what has happened. Your letter and In Jin Nim’s written and verbal communications have only DEEPENED that HURT. We do value the substantial contribution that you have made to Lovin’ Life. Your music was heartfelt and beautiful. We also value the new life that In Jin Nim infused into the American church and the excitement of many second gen who had, until a few years ago, distanced themselves from the church. There was much that was positive and healing about In Jin Nim’s ministry. She has indeed touched our lives. Nonetheless, as Hyung Jin Nim said to us at the Manhattan Center recently, we need to recognize that “SIN is SIN.” In addition to the deep pain your relationship has reportedly caused True Parents, all the wonderful good that you have done among us has been seriously compromised by the clear DIFFERENCE between what In Jin Nim REPRESENTED TO US in her sermons and other communications and what SHE ACTUALLY DID in her personal life over the past year or so. She CALLED on US to live by a MUCH MORE principled standard THAN she herself was apparently prepared to live by. 🍁ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS🍁 🌺PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH🌺 Please try to understand how PAINFUL the revelation of this INCONSISTENCY has proved to be for our whole community. And please try to understand how much it HURTS to see our CHILDREN — in whom we have invested many tears and for whom In Jin Nim had recently given us reason to hope — DISTANCE themselves AGAIN from the church BECAUSE of your SIN. 😠 CAN U SPELL "HYPOCRISY" ?😠 How can we all heal? If either or both of you had repented for the harm you have done, that could have contributed to healing. UNFORTUNATELY, in your communications you have BOTH sought to JUSTIFY your UNPRINCIPLED position instead. You have both RUBBED SALT in the wounds of our community by emphasizing how happy you are in this relationship that has devastated our community. Both of YOU 🐞ACCUSE🐞 your blessed SPOUSES of being ABUSIVE (HOW CONVENIENT😉), appear to ACCEPT NO responsibility whatsoever in your public communications for the FAILURES in those relationships. We cringe at the example this sets for our young people, most of whom face challenges in their own blessed relationships. WHAT a CONTRAST to In Jin Nim’s inspiring message of July 1 of this year to the 8000 couples on their 30th anniversary in which she encouraged couples on their path of creating an “I-deal family.” In retrospect, does In Jin Nim now GAG on those words — and on the many others she uttered with APPARENT sincerity from the national pulpit at the Manhattan Center? Ben, it would have been better if neither of you had written these slap-in-the-face letters publicly seeking to JUSTIFY your unprincipled, unjustifiable position. They caused us all — and surely True Parents — additional PAIN. Maria and I would have remained silent if you had not written these letters; we have no heart to accuse or judge you because you are our brother and True Sister whom we love and pray for. But your public stance attempting to justify this sin festers these wounds and thus demands a public response." 😠