#none of you (the people who devalue art in such ways) know what you're asking for when you're asking for artists to go back to starving

[mishkakagehishka]

I guess i'm at that age where all i want to write about is commentary on society

[marvelandponder]

::hugs:: Hey, Maggie

Thanks for sharing what you've been going through and how hard it's been. I'm really glad you're taking the steps necessary to self-care. Fandom's a place where fun, connection, and personal expression can be had, but it's also a place with a lot of unique social pressures, among a lot of other things. Engaging in fandom in the way that's most comfortable and fun for you is always the way to go (and sometimes, so is not engaging with it at all!).

I relate to you in a lot of ways, just personally. For one, having made mistakes and hurt people I loved. I'm flawed and I fuck up. It means I'm human, really, and the best advice I can give is that responsibility and love go hand in hand. While we have a responsibility to not hurt others if we can help it, and to own up when we do, we're all flawed; we deserve to give ourselves the same forgiveness and love that we'd give to other people.

It's tough to learn both self-love and responsibility for ourselves, but, if it helps, I don't think it's one lesson. I think we're always learning.

Sounds like you're like me in that you take a lot of responsibility for any damage you might've caused, which, hell yeah. And for what it counts, from what I've seen, I admire that you do that. But then, that means you also deserve the to keep learning the self-forgiveness part to balance it out.

I'm learning right along with you.

And not just on that, either. What you said about imposter syndrome (feeling like you can't possibly deserve the platform or following you have) is so real.

Putting people on pedestals is unfair to everyone involved.

The person idolizing someone devalues themselves and their work by comparison. Like I could never be as good as X! Wow, they're so amazing and popular! Let me tell you, that's selling yourself short! Your unique contribution doesn't have to be like someone else's to have value! You don't have to be like someone else to have value!

Then, for the person being idolized... they're treated like they aren't just a person. It can be isolating to not be able to have a conversation because someone else can't talk to you at all; can only speaking in nervicited bursts of compliments; or even assumes your personality based on their own feelings about your popularity (i.e. assuming someone must be "egotistical" because they're popular and disliking them for it).

That's why it's so damn nice when people can just talk to you like a person! Hell, that's why I'm friends with Bevin and Bookish! Even though I admire their art, fanfics, and work, I refrained from gushing (too much) and got to know them as people instead, and turns out, they're fantastic people (who wanted to get to know me as well!).

You're not alone in feeling that pressure of being put on a pedestal, nor are you egotistical for recognizing that it's a thing. Doesn't even matter how big or small your following is, people can do it to you at any level, honestly. I wouldn't consider myself a Big Name Fan, but I get a few fans looking up to me too.

For me, I can currently handle it. Mostly because I have my private Discord chats to fangirl in (I'm introverted af) and because there are still plenty of people on here I can have real conversations with here! Or just post my thoughts to!

If some folks like my writing enough to admire it, well, I've admired other fanfic authors (still do!) so I know what it's like to want to learn from them. If you get something out of it? Fuck yeah, that's awesome! Just please don't devalue yourself along the way, empower yourself. I always appreciate compliments or thoughts but hey, you rock as much as me. And feel free to have casual convos with me in any form you're comfortable (asks, reblogs, messages, etc.)!

Long ramble on my end, but basically, I feel you, girl. You're so not alone and I hope you have positive fandom experiences in the ways that take that pressure off of you, because none of us are perfect, we're human. So you deserve to be treated like one, you know?

Hi there everyone!

So this is a little daunting, but I feel like I owe it to everyone– especially my long time followers– to let you all know why I’ve been rather inactive on here lately. For a while.

This isn’t the easiest thing to talk about and I understand if people choose to skip over this, but I really do feel bad for my lack of engagement and lack of posting for such a long time. 

Here goes nothing.

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