#none of y'all are the people I said I wouldn't name

[aniesvision]

one and only (soft dom! colby brock x virgin! f reader)

warnings: mentions of angst, mentions of toxic relationship, fluff, make out, pet names (baby, love, beautiful), praising, oral (f! receiving), fingering, p in v, love and cute moments that's all I guess

a/n: hi! this one was based in this request, i'm sorry it took so long for me to post it! i hope y'all like it, friendly reminder that english is not my first language! enjoy ✨

synopsis: You and Colby are dating for a while now, one day you decided you wanted to do something to show him how much you trust and love him.

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just to clarify, all 'first time's are different and it can be good, but it also can be bad, don't rush things if you don't feel prepared, it's not worth it. take your time 💕

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-Are you sure you wanna do this? -Colby asks, worried that I was going to regret my own choice.

-Yes, Colby, I'm sure. -I roll my eyes with a smile, pulling him by the hand to his room.

It's our month anniversary, we've been together for three months now and I couldn't be happier. Before we started dating, we were friends for a couple years. I always knew my feelings for him wasn't just friendly, but it took me a long time to accept it.

Before I met Colby, I was in another relationship, my first one and the worst experience I've ever had. The guy I was with wasn't exactly nice to me, or my friends, he would yell at me, call me bad words and make me feel the worse. I was so blind, thinking he'd change and that he was a good guy deep down. But that just wasn't the truth.

I broke up with him when I couldn't take it anymore, he was mad at me for weeks just because I didn't want to have sex with him, but I was scared, I wasn't sure he was the one anymore and I didn't want to lose my virginity with someone I wasn't sure I truly loved.

A few months later I met Colby, we had mutual friends and we got along pretty well. We talked a lot, exchanged numbers, we texted and he asked me to go on a date with him. Although I was still heartbroken and not wanting to be in another relationship so soon, I went to the date. We talked and he accepted to take things slow. We kept on being just friends, going out sometimes, but nothing else.

I ended up falling in love with him. It was inevitable, he was so gentle, never rushed anything, respected me all the time, he treated me nicely and my friends actually liked him. We had our first kiss a while ago, and soon enough we engaged in a relationship.

It was perfect, so different from my last one. He's gentle, cute, caring, funny. He's always showing me that good people still exists and not everyone's a bad person. He's so important, and I value him so much, that I wanted to somehow show him how much I love him, how grateful I am to have him in my life. 

That's what brings us here, to his room, after a make out session on the couch downstairs. He knows I'm a virgin, I've told him before and he didn't care, he said we could do it whenever I was ready and the wait wouldn't make him love me less, but I wanted him. It's not like I don't feel things, don't feel needy, I'm just scared because it's a new thing and I have no idea how's it going to be like. But I trust him, and I want it to be with him.

We sit on his bed, facing each other, our hands interlocked together as his thumb caress my skin lightly. I take a deep breath, none of us speaking, it was like we were gathering the courage to do something or even processing things first.

-I really love you, you know? -I say, in a low, shy voice.

The mood and tension in the room make me realize how real it was. How intense the sensations felt, and how loud my heartbeats were beating.

-I know you do, baby. I love you too, so much, but you really don't have to do this just to prove yourself, I can see how much you actually care about me. -He says, in a soft tone, looking in my eyes with affection.

God, what did I do to deserve him?

I smile, raising one of my hands to cup his cheek, my eyes admiring all his features.

-I know, but I want to.

We stay silent once again, just taking in the emotions and thinking of what to do next. He nods slowly, leaning in to peck my lips gently.

-You sure? Like, really sure? -He asks again, making me giggle against his lips.

-Yes, love, I do. I want to do it, with you, because I trust you.

He smiles again, closing the small gap between us to kiss me intently. His lips moved against mine perfectly, the softness making me feel at peace. It was comfortable and hot at the same time, heated and full of love.

Colby slowly leans me down on the bed, making me lay on my back and hovering over me without breaking the kiss. One of his hands explored my body, running up and down my sides. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to me, wanting to feel every single piece of his skin touching mine.

He pulls away from the kiss, lowering his lips to my neck, licking and nibbling the soft and sensitive area, making me sigh in pleasure. It was so good, it didn't felt forced at all, it was all gentle and sweet. Colby keeps moving down, lifting my long t-shirt over my head and throwing it aside. He takes a longer look at me, his eyes roaming up and down my bare chest, gaze intense and dark.

-You're so beautiful. -He kisses the valley of my boobs, cupping one of my tits with his hand. -My beautiful girl.

Colby teases my nipples with his fingertips, licking and sucking them lightly, his touches getting possessive by the second. He seemingly enjoyed himself by playing with my boobs, my soft moans making him drag down his lips to meet my stomach. He pulls back, looking at me as if asking for permission to slide down the last piece of clothing covering my body.

I nod, wanting nothing more than to feel something. My thoughts wondered how his lips and tongue would feel somewhere else, somewhere it'd never been before, and just with that my entire body heat up.

He seems to notice it, a small smirk growing in the corners of his lips as his eyes explore my now naked body hungrily.

-Fuck, beautiful, you're so fucking perfect.

Colby kisses my inner thighs gently, his hands on my hips keeping me still. I prop myself on my elbows to look at him better, one of my hands tangling in his hair and stroking it lightly, caressing his scalp. My heartbeats were racing, chest raising and falling rapidly, anxious to feel a new thing, the new sensation my body seemed to crave.

Finally Colby's lips get in contact with my core, pressing a quick kiss before sliding his tongue from my entrance to my clit. A soft moan escapes my lips, making him feel bolder and move his tongue faster.

-Fuck, baby. -I throw my head back on the pillow, closing my eyes to focus on the feelings.

I didn't even need to look at him to know he was smirking. He was clearly enjoying himself, I know he always wanted to do this and now that is finally happening I had no intend on pulling back. He was eating me out like he was starving, and my inexperienced self couldn't hold back my sounds and squirming, my legs already shaking against his face.

Colby looked up at me, slowly bringing his hand down and teasing my entrance with his middle finger, the rings he was wearing making him hotter than I thought it was possible. His gaze was intense, he was completely consumed by his desire and it was obvious by the darkness in his eyes.

Without any warnings, he pushes his finger inside of me, a gasp leaving my parted lips as I wince a bit by the new sensation.

-It's alright, baby, you're doing so well, just need to stretch you, need to make sure I'm not gonna hurt you. -He explains, eyes leaving mine to look down to his actions.

I whine at his words, his finger was uncomfortable at first, but then it started to feel good, sliding easily in and out my wetness. He suddenly added another one, my throat immediately turning dry. It wasn't exactly bad, and it didn't exactly hurt, but the first minutes were definitely uncomfortable.

He kept fingering me for a while, savoring the sight of his fingers entering me for the first time ever. He looked almost hypnotized, only pulling away to keep things going when I started to shake again. I huff in frustration with the new feeling of emptiness when his fingers leave me and he chuckles at me.

-Don't worry, baby, gonna fill you up again, but not with my fingers.

He crawls on top of me again, kissing me deeply, making me feel my own taste. It was all so new, a territory I never explored before with anyone, and he was making it feel so natural. I wasn't even that nervous, just a bit anxious, naturally.

Colby's clothes were on the floor in a heartbeat, my eyes taking it's time to appreciate the view. I bite my lips in anticipation, finally looking up to meet his eyes again, with him already looking at me with a mix of desire and concern.

-You're 100% sure, right? -He asks, once more, propping himself on his elbows.

I smile, although my heartbeats could be heard in the silence, I was peaceful. With a nod of my head, my hands slide up his arms as I lean to kiss him once more. He quickly reciprocates, deepening it and using one hand to touch all details of my body.

He wrapped it up with a condom, giving me a few more seconds to deny it if I wanted to. He was so desperate to feel me, yet so nervous, even more than I was, which is kinda funny. I was the one about to lose my virginity and he was the one freaking out.

-I trust you. -I speak, when I see him reluctant on top of me, scared to do something I wasn't ready to, but I was, and I truly wanted to.

He nods with a small smile, sliding his tip up and down my folds, collecting my wetness before aligning his dick on my entrance.

-Tell me if it hurts, ok? If you wanna stop just say it and I will.

And with that he was thrusting only his tip inside of me, the burning sensation immediately making me tear up and whine. He stopped, waiting patiently for me to give him the green light, and as soon as I do he pushes it all at once.

-Fuck, baby. -He groans, burying his face on my shoulder.

I try to take deep breaths, my pussy pulsing against him, trying to adjust to his size. It wasn't the worst feeling ever, with all the things people say I thought it'd be way worse. Maybe I'm just lucky, maybe I'm just wet, but definitely trusting him enough to not be so nervous helped a lot.

I tell him to move when I felt like I could take it, and his hips started to slap against mine, making nasty sounds all over the room, echoing through the walls. It wasn't the best thing ever at first, but minutes later when I was finally getting used to it it started to feel better, the pain and the burning sensations going away slowly.

Colby looks at me to make sure I was alright and kisses my forehead, touching my nose with his, he was thrusting in a faster pace, deeper, making me feel him in my stomach.

-Fuck, so good, you look so pretty. -He praises, making me smile and blush, eyes rolling back slightly as I could feel my body moving up and down with each thrust of his.

My hands squeeze his arms, nails digging on his skin as I tried to assimilate all my feelings, my heart beating faster when he captures my lips with his own, kissing me soft, the pace of the kiss not matching the pace of his thrusts.

-I love you. -He mumbles against my lips.

-I love you too. -I whisper.

Colby moves even faster, sweat dripping down his temples as he warned me he was close, moving one of his hands to rub circles on my clit. I feel the not so familiar not on my stomach forming, a desperate need to explode filling my thoughts, my moans getting louder and a loud scream of his name leaving my lips when it snaps, making me release all over him.

That was enough to make him reach his own climax, filling the condom with his warm seed. He slides out of me, throwing the plastic away and pulling me to cuddle. My face was rested on his chest, both of us breathing heavily.

-Thank you for trusting me. I love you, baby. -He breaks the silence, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me against his body.

-I love you, Colby, you're my one and only, thank you for making me feel so good. -I respond, kissing him gently.

We both fall asleep a few minutes later enjoying our company and feeling way too comfortable with each other's warmth. It was my first time, and although it had a few pain and burning sensations involved, I couldn't ask for a better experience.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @anabanana28 @flower-sturns @sturncakez @sssoniaswiftt @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @nessii-sturniolo @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @slxtformatt @lovingregulusblack @starnoirr @katie-tibo @mattsfavbigtitties

[madlori]

If the only thing you can lord over buddie is that bucktommy is canon, then you really didn't care at all about the ship.

7 seasons of being a family unit, being there for each other, having each other's back but hey! Here comes another underdeveloped love interest, but since it's a man this time, you don't care about Buck being stuck in the same hamster wheel, again, because he's kissing a man and that's hot 🙄

Also for all your doom and gloom about buddie not happening, do remember that Tommy/Eddie was an idea in Tim's mind at first, so Eddie can be read as queer, even if it's not in canon yet.

I guess you don't place much value on them being a family unit and always there for each other, and having each other's back...all of which is still true and will continue to BE true. But it's only important to you as a prelude to them kissing, right? It has no value in and of itself. I love their relationship. I love what they are to each other. But YOU are making me not want to see it, because every time they turn to each other, lean on each other, support each other, we have to listen to you shrieking BUDDIE CANON CONFIRMED or whatever, because to a certain genre of shipper (not all buddie shippers, etc) any interaction or feeling they have with each other exists only in service to the ship.

I swear to god, I'm gonna banish the phrase "hamster wheel" from y'all's mouths until I get an actual definition as to what you think it means, because from where I sit, to you it just means "he's with someone who's not Eddie." To me, it means that Buck continually fell bass-ackwards into relationships that weren't right for him, looking for something he wasn't even sure what it was. And heyyyyy, he's currently in a relationship that he actively chose and fought for, having learned something new and important about himself, with someone who makes him giddy and excited in a way we have never seen him be, who the people around him can see gives him contentment. But none of that matters, because it's not Eddie, and that is by definition his only appropriate partner, so he must still be on that hamster wheel. Also if we're going by creator intent here, Tim's said he wrote this relationship specifically to reflect Buck being off of it.

As for underdeveloped love interest? I wrote an entire ass essay about how MUCH we know about Tommy, and it's reams compared to anything we've ever known about Buck's girlfriends OR Eddie's current girlfriend who does not even have a last name. Tommy has been introduced in a way that integrates him with the 118, with multiple interests, a character arc of his own from his first appearance, a set of motivations and emotional arcs that are NOT about Buck, and something to actually offer in a relationship besides existing. Anyone saying he's underdeveloped is determined to read him as such, especially for the limited amount of time we've had him.

And I never said Eddie couldn't be read as queer. He can EASILY be read as queer. I said he WOULDN'T be. Those are two different things. If Tommy and Eddie had gotten together (which I give no more narrative weight to than Maddie and Eddie getting together, which was also a gleam in the eye at one point) I'd equally be saying that Buck would never be queer.

It's hilarious to me that I'm being accused of liking a ship because it's hot (it is, and I do, and that's...fine? there's nothing bad about that?) as if people enjoy Buddie because of the amorphous purity of it all and not at ALL because it's hot (it is and you should say so).

If my thoughts about this are so upsetting to you, just block me, dude. I promise I won't take it personally.

Also, just...learn to enjoy a ship whether it's canon or not. I've done it, we've all done it. It's not that hard, especially THIS ship, which has so much good stuff to it regardless of whether there's romance or not. Those of us who like Buck with Tommy are not taking away from you enjoying Buddie, or anyone doing so. It's not like...the State of Buddie will lose congressional representation if the population falls below a certain level. The existence of another ship does not affect yours.

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x physicist!reader

summary: The aftermath of the leak is hard on everybody in dr YN YSN's circle, but especially for her. The gossip, magazines, paparazzi and haters do not help the case.

warnings: hate speech, swearing

a/n: hi! so yes, this is a re-upload of the 3rd part of the physicist!reader. earlier this week tumblr wasn't working with me, not showing this on tags or even my own home page. and with that, i decided to post it again so maybe some more of you could know what's been happening in the world of physicist!reader. i hope you'll enjoy!

part 1 part 2 taglist

@celesteblack08

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The Sun

Oxford Is Firing The Famous 'Higgs Professor' and Harry Styles' Girlfriend Dr YN YSN

Written by John Addams

The infamous and TikTok sensation dr YN YSN, lecturer at Oxford University, is being fired after intimate photos of her and boyfriend, Harry Styles, saw the light of the day.

Starting at the beginning, the relationship between two became a fact over a year ago, when dr YSN went viral for her explanation of the Higgs mechanism based on Harry Styles' music. As we got to know from their joined street interview for meetcutesnyc on Instagram, the relationship florished after meeting at their mutual friend's (Christopher Nolan) party. Dr YN YSN was the science consultant for the director's latest movie, Oppenheimer, and Harry starred in one of his films, Dunkirk - making it happen.

Everything was going smoothly till the morning of three days ago. YN's iCloud was hacked, revealing personal and intimate information about not only the owner but her boyfriend as well.

'Dean is furious,' says our source. 'He cannot believe that the best lecturer could be this reckless'.' After the posed question on whether the decision of firing could be announced any time soon, they said, 'it's just the matter of time. But it's going to be sooner rather than later. Oxford is going to lose a fair and talented professor, but it is not its fault. Someone was the author of those, let's say information that was exposed. And it's going to be their fault entirely.'

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harrysmoustache

liked by hArrysbtch, harryupdates and 23 482 others

harrysmoustache Harry and YN couldn't leave the restaurant safely because a bunch of paps and 'fans' showed up at the location. Not only was it physically dangerous, but the things that were spoken towards (mostly) YN were disgusting. Calling her names and ready to fire her on the spot because of the PRIVATE PHOTOS she took with her boyfriend, which then someone ILLIGALY POSTED ONLINE after HACKING HER ICLOUD. Did y'all forget about TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS?????

view all 5 402 comments

harrysmoustache and don't make me start on that bullshit that the sun did... RIDICULOUS

harryupdates After all those years, and all those situations that he went through, I'm still surprised that people can be this cruel to him and people that he loves

hArrysbtch they hatin' my girl cause of some sexy photos... bastards

hArrysbtch why would they care what she does after Uni hours??? it's none of your business

scienceandharstyles it's heartbreaking to see a person that gives others the world and shares her knowledge and wears her heart on her sleeve being treated like garbage

harrymylove those were not harry fans

stylesbabie monstrosity

user56 why do y'all care for her this much??? jezz..

⤷ hArrysbtch maybe because she's a good human being treated like the worst person alive just because she snapped a few photos of her and her boyfriend

⤷ user56 wouldn't that be the consequences of her own actions?

⤷ hArrysbtch nope. her phone was hacked. how many times you take photos of yourself and think 'oh god, what if my gonna be hacked and this will be posted?'

⤷ harrysmoustache hArrysbtch ohhh, babes!!! you closed that haters mouth!!!!

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drynysn

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 738 492 others

drynysn During one of my latest lectures one of the students asked about accuracy in Sci-Fi movies, so I decided to start a little series of: Is this SCIENCE or just FICTION? Firstly, we'd look into the scene from Spider-Man 2 (2004). The scene where Peter Parker (Spider-Man) is stopping the train from its eventual crash. he shot multiple web lines, then they stretched and didn't break. One would say it is not possible. But! From the way the scene is shown to us, we are able to estimate how strong the web needed to be for it to happen. After looking up the train's mass, you can estimate its initial velocity (how far it can go per hour, so km/h) by seeing exactly how long it takes to pass the city blocks. (1)

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drynysn (2) You can look up, measure, the distance over the webbing stretches, and then estimate its diameter . You can also count the number of web lines. NOW, we end up with a tensile (fancy way of saying elastic) strength for the webbing that has to be about 1 000 megapascals (mega meaning milion) which is equivalent to about 102 036 704 kilograms per square metre (which is 145 000 lbs/square inch - for you, my American friends on here).

drynysn (3) What is absolutely mind-blowing is the fact that actual spider silk has a tensile strength of 1 200 megapascals. So, if Spider-Man's webbing would be anyway that strong, that scene was very, very realistic. Rating it 9/10. What scene would you like to see next?

scienceandharstyles that is so informative and making this movie even more iconic!! Did you do all the equations by yourself, dr YSN?

⤷ drynysn Yes, I did! Took me some time to analyse the scene but it was worth it!

harryupdates oh, i need to rewatch this movie immediately!!!

harryismylife could the next scene be the one from The Avengers where Mjolnir after contacting Cap's shield makes that blue light? is that even possible?

⤷ drynysn that's a great scene! i'll look over it!

hArrysbtch i love the little explanations in brackets! i didn't need to look up the tensile thingy!

harrysmoustache you're telling me the scene i was 100% sure was as fake as my eyelashes is true???

user45 maybe you should try explaining showing of that body of yours

user75 is this the new way to make money after being fired?

user281 unemployment doesn't suit you but the consequences of your actions finally caught up with you

user374 i think you should start posting one of those photos the sun included in their article - you'll get more attention

comments to this post have been disabled

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrymoustache nad 54 292 others

harryupdates HARRY nad DR YN spotted in a small restaurant in Oxford (i'm disabling the comments cause i don't want to deal with the haters)

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hArrysbtch MY PARENTS!!!!!!!! ARE BACK AFTER THE WEEKS OF DRAUGHT!!!!!

hArrysbtch and they look goooood

harrysmoustache i missed them so much..

stylesbabie yn looks so tired and sad

⤷ hArrysbtch it's just one phot of one moment

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harrystyles via close friends IG story

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londonboyharry

liked by harryupdates nad 14 302 others

londoboyharry went to oxford to bump into harry. it's better! i met dr yn ysn, drank coffee with her, talked and laughed my ass off! she is the funniest, kindest and most down to earth person i've ever met. also, after i asked her about all the things that were happening around her, she just said 'what things?' WITH A SMIRK ON HER FACE, SIPPING HER LITTLE AMERICANO AND BEING UNBOTHERED

view all 3 203 comments

harryupdates im so happy that she gives no damn to those people online

hArrysbtch I LOVE HER

harrymoustache the moment the legend the IT girl

stylesbabie happy for you!!!

harrysmylife who would want to meet harry when you can meet dr yn ysn?

scienceandharstyles best woman alive

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scienceandharstyles

liked by drynysn, harrystyles and 56 482 others

scienceandharstyles WE GRADUATED OXFORD!!! to anybody who said there was no way to incorporating pop culture with a biology degree? eat shit! i wrote the whole masters based on musicians' impact on fans' hormonal production. hehe. ALSO, it would not be possible withouth the best teacher, academic inspiration, and person I've ever met - dr YN YSN. thank you!

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drynysn MADELINE, I am so proud of you. It would be not possible without your persisatnce and will to find solutions and answers. This is all yours!

harrystyles Congratulations, Madeline! H, xx.

harryupdates congrats maddie!!

stylesbabie very very proud

harrysmoustache did you perhaps use harry as an example in your work?

⤷ scienceandharstyles YES, I did. Only positive affect of his voice, music and visuals...

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oxford_uni

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 748 392 others

oxford_uni Acknowledging the upheaval around one of our lecturers - dr YN YSN, the Chancellor of Oxford University and the Dean of The Department of Physics decided to release the joined statement:

Refuting the words ans statements made by publishers not connected to our University, we would like to inform anybody in concern that one of our grates lecturers dr YN YSN is not decruited. The matter of private life is not concern of the University authority, even more when the said privacy was bridged. At this place, we would like to wish luck during dr YN YSN' s new path - becoming a professor.

view all 64 855 comments

harrystyles <3

harryupdates I KNEW IT

hArrysbtch EAT SHIT THE SUN, EAT SHIT JOHN ADDAMS

harrysmoustache HAHHAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT !!!!!! BABY THERE WAS NO WAY THEY WOULD FIRE HER

stylesbabie thank god! there is still hope for this world

scienceandharstyles Chancellor and Dean with the best decision ever made

harrysmylife now haters what??? ha??

harrysfan87 i believed in you guys i did

londonboyharry becoming a professor???? good luck yn!!!

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 275 others

yourinstagram There was no better thing that happened to me than meeting you. You support means the world. I love you forever.

view all 36 comments

harrystyles Loving you is the greatest honour of all time, my heart <3

annetwist My favourite girl in the world! (besides my daughter)

⤷ gemmastyles Thanks for clarifying, mum

gemmastyles My sister from another mister!

yourbestfriend We need to finally meet up!

⤷ yourinstagram yessss!

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, harryupdates, annetwist and 10 746 646 others

harrystyles You're just finishing one of your latest publications on the way to becoming a professor. I couldn't have been more proud and honoured to accompany you during this time.

view all 98 757 comments

yourinstagram I love you I love you I love you

annetwist Our smart professor. <3

harryupdates ohhhhhh *melting*

hArrysbtch I'll never get over him posting her on here

harrysmoustache we are back to normal, baby!!!

scienceandharstyles professor YN YSN sounds amazing

harrysmylife BEST. COUPLE. EVER.

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a/n: did you like the way it turned out?

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

APRIL FOOLS, I HAVE A PREVIEW FOR YA!

This is no joke! I have a preview of Part 2 of "Dress Up" for y'all. The prank was that I said previously that I was taking a small break from writing but GET PRANKED cuz here's a sneak peak!

The ~~~ indicate flashbacks!

No active warnings for this part, only slight inferences of sexual things! But don't worry, there will be smut later in the chapter hehe~

"You know, if you don't quit pacing back and forth, you're gonna wear out the carpet," Husk remarked, attempting to get Lucifer's attention in his anxious state.

It had only been a week since the proposal and the wedding was already here. But this is what you both wanted; a nice quiet wedding with only a handful of people with everyone else in Hell being none the wiser. You had to beg Lucifer for the week you got in between, he was practically ready to say "I do" once he put that engagement ring on your hand. It may have seemed like you two were moving a little bit fast considering most weddings take months, sometimes years to plan out! But when you're marrying the King of Hell, there really was next to nothing to worry about when it came to your special day.

The new hotel was the perfect venue, complete with a beautiful ballroom that could rival any chapel on Earth. The guest list was extremely exclusive consisting of only the occupants of the hotel, minus one Radio Demon, not that he would attend even if he was invited. It was Charlie who suggested that he protect the hotel today from any threat that might make itself known. On top of that, Charlie was more than happy to be the officiant, as being the Princess of Hell granted her that authority. Money was no object to the Morningstar family, so no expense was spared.

But regardless of any of that, Lucifer couldn't help but worry. You had one other request for him after he popped the question.

~~~

"I hate to ask more of you after asking for a week to prepare," you started, putting on the last of your clothes that you had discarded during your fun little teasing display, "but..." Lucifer approached you suddenly and held your hand in both of his.

"My love, you can ask of me anything you wish. There is no limit when it comes to you. You've already given me the best gift of becoming my future bride. Anything in my power is yours for the asking, you just name it!" He leaned down and planted a small kiss on the back of your hand. You couldn't help but blush, he never failed to charm you.

"This may sound a little odd, considering what just took place a few minutes ago," you breathed out a sigh, "but...what would you say to refraining from any...intense intimacy?" Lucifer cocked his eyebrow and smirked, seemingly intrigued. "B-but only for this week, I promise! Kissing and cuddling would still be on the table, of course. And no deliberate teasing from me, that wouldn't be fair. I was just thinking that...I want our first night as a married couple to be special. And I figured holding off for the time in between would only heighten the experience. If that's not something you want, I completely understand that-MMPH," you were silenced by Lucifer's soft lips on yours.

"Oh darling, was that all?," he flashed his signature toothy grin at you. "That's hardly a request! I think that's a wonderful idea...n-not that I don't want to ravish you at any given time! But you're right, I couldn't imagine a better honeymoon than getting the chance to feel you again after being denied for a few days, even though it may feel like an eternity. I'll be on my best behavior; you have my word!"

~~~

And Lucifer was on his best behavior, for the most part, at least. There were a few instances where his hands had traveled a little too low on your body and some kisses became deeper than they should have. But both of you managed to make it through the week! But today was the day, and his anxiety was at an all-time high. You decided to sleep in separates rooms the night before, wanting the next time you saw each other to be at the altar. That was the plan, at least.

It had been a while since Lucifer had slept alone. Suffice to say he couldn't sleep. He assured you that he would be alright sleeping alone for just one night, but that ended up being easier said than done. The empty bed he laid in brought back painful memories of his first night without Lilith, something that still haunted him to this day. There would be times where Lucifer would wake up in a cold sweat, only to glance over to see you peacefully asleep, and he could breathe again. Anytime you felt him tug you closer to him in the middle of the night, you knew what had woken him up. He never hid his feelings from you when he confided in you about his ex, and you didn't mind that he would wake you when his nightmares overwhelmed him. You loved him and he loved you. You would never leave. So when you heard your door creek open in the middle of the night to see your fiancé standing in the door frame, you only smiled and gestured him to you.

~~~

"I-I'm sorry," he sobbed quietly, "I tried...I really did...I-"

"Hey, hey, shh, it's alright," you soothed and brought him into a tight embrace. You felt a tear that had fallen from his face make its way down your collarbone. "Don't cry, Luci, I'm not upset, not at all." You lifted his head up to wipe away his remaining tears. "Let's get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow." You planted a kiss on his forehead, and from the dim red light that shown through your windows, you could see a small smile appear on his face. He laid down, his back facing you as you wrapped your arms around him and brought him flush to your chest. You could hear his breathing start to even about again.

"I don't deserve you," he murmured.

"You know I think the same thing every day," you responded.

He interlaced his fingers with yours at your words, squeezing you hand softly. "Promise me you'll never think that again. Please. You deserve everything and more."

"Alright," you conceded, kissing the back of his head, "as long as you promise me the same thing. You're my everything, and I'll spend the rest of my afterlife showing you that."

"Okay," he spoke weakly. You intertwined your legs with his, bringing yourself as close to him as possible. "I still intend to keep my other promise. I'll be gone before you wake up."

"You can stay as long as you need to," you whispered before drifting off to sleep once more.

~~~

[lilbitdepressed27]

Tara Carpenter/Fem!Reader

Summary: AU no ghostface, takes place when they're in college

Warnings: none really

WC: 5.7k

Authors Note: don't really know where I was going with this one but I hope y'all enjoy :) sorry for any mistakes. Also kinda added some parts from one of my favorite shows :D

Everyone had been intimidated when they first saw you. You had transferred a few days late in the semester. Only by three days. When you had walked into the film study major class. The moment you stepped into the class you heard how quiet it got. You didn't want to take this class but it was either this class or a literature class. Your dad had wanted one class to be of his choice. You hated it but then again he was helping you pay for college.

You stood at 6'2 an athletic built from all your high school years playing basketball. Your dad had wanted you to continue playing but you had different plans. It was one of the reasons why he was so mad that he put you in a the film class. In a way to punish you.

But he wouldn't understand. After what happened, you couldn't go back to basketball. It was the main reason why, what happened to you last year happened.

Everyone looked your way but you kept a blank face. Giving a nod when professor motioned you to sit down. You felt the eyes on the back of your head but ignored everyone while you took your laptop out to take notes.

Ignoring the whispers that you heard.

*

You kept to yourself. At a very young age you've always been tall and a lot of people found that intimidating. It was even worse now that you had muscle. Anyone was too intimidated to come up to you. Until some guy sat down across from you. Though you did not want to be bothered but you were sitting at a table in the quad. You were able to get a table to yourself. The quad wasn't as crowded as you thought it'd be but there were still a few people around. Some empty tables. Which is why you didn't understand why this frat boy sat in front of you.

"Never seen you around sweetheart. Your freakishly tall but I can dig that. The name is Frankie. How about I show you around, could show you the Frankie train after if you want as well." He smirked at you, his overly inflated ego was what irked you.

"Oh you're mute? That's cool. Can't really say no then can you?" You looked at him with your face blank, but memories of what happened last year flashed though your mind. He reached forward but you gripped his and twisted it, your other hand reaching forward and slamming his head on the table extra hard for what he said. He yelped like a little bitch getting the attention of the people in the quad.

"One wrong move and I'll break your fucking hand. I'll give you one chance to walk away and leave me the fuck alone."

"Okay okay I'm sorry. Please let me go." He cried, his nose was bleeding from the slam and you felt satisfied at that. You pushed him away and let him go. He had fallen off his seat, he scrambled to his feet his face red with rage and embarrassment when he noticed everyone watching and some were laughing.

"You crazy fucking bitch."

You kept your straight face, he all but ran away and you continued with your work acting like nothing had happened. You kept on doing your work until it was time for your next class. After packing your things and heading to your class you saw a group sitting at a table looking your way. You spared them a glance your eyes connecting with chocolate brown eyes. She was beautiful. The most gorgeous girl you've ever seen. But you kept on walking.

*

After a long day of classes and your part time job you headed home. You had refused to share a dorm room with a stranger. So getting a apartment was the next thing you could do. The apartment was a solo room with a bathroom and good sized kitchen and living room. It was a great apartment and you loved it.

You walked into the building too see a man and woman kissing. But they quickly pulled away when you walked in. The man looked your way and gave you a slight nod. You returned the nod, the woman was pretty you can't deny. She looked up at you as you grew closer. Quickly making your way up the stairs towards your apartment.

"Hey you're the new chick." You looked up from your keys to see a pretty light skin girl with short hair. "Just wanted to say that you did every girl a favor today. The amount of times that asshole has tried something on every girl. It's insane. I'm Mindy by the way."

"Y-"

"Mindy hurry up I-Oh hi."

The same girl from earlier opened the door to see you. The beautiful brunette from earlier stood there. She was more beautiful up close. You took note of her freckles.

"Hi." You smiled slightly at the shorter girl. Your smile growing just a bit when you saw the blush. The brunette smiled at you, her blush still noticeable but she still seemed so confident.

"I'm Tara." Tara stepped forward of a smirking Mindy, holding out her hand for you to shake. Tara ignored her friend who been busy looking between the taller girl and herself.

"Y/n. Nice to meet you."

Tara just about melted to the floor when your hand engulfed her own. You were so tall. The way your eyes glimmered in the light was enough to hypnotize her. She looked up at you, liking the feeling of how you were looking at her. It made her feel warm inside. The sound of your name was so beautiful. You were so attractive. So handsome.

At the sound of clearing of the throat. You both jumped at the sound. Forgetting that Mindy was standing only a few feet away. You pulled away from Tara, you didn't want to but you also didn't want to seem like a creep.

"Well it was nice meeting you. But I have to start on my homework." You spoke, Tara mentally cooing at the sight of how red the tip of your ears got. The sight of the girl front of her now was a complete 180 from the girl she saw in the quad.

"Oh okay. It was nice to meet you as well." She spoke her eyes never leaving yours. It was like she hypnotized, she didn't want to move. She wanted to stay in your presence.

*

Tara looked at you from a distance. It had been a week since she met you. She had barely seen you around campus, the class she did have with you, you would always be the last one to show up (literally only seconds before the lecture started) and then you'd be the first one to leave the room. It was starting to get a little annoying.

Your once cold expression was back on your face. The gentle smile you showed her that day still plagued her mind. She watched how you ignored everyone especially the other jocks who have been on your ass for what you did to their running back. You didn't even look their way. This time she had sat in the chair where you regularly sit. Mindy sitting right beside her.

Her back straighten when she saw you walk in. With only seconds to spare. She watched as your eyes looked at her direction. Her heart hammering in her chest at seeing a little smile on your lips form. You walked to your chair and sat down right next to her. The chairs were so close to one another, that she got whiff of your perfume. You smelt so good. You looked so good. Your clothes fit you loosely. You had that baggy clothes aesthetic. The style fit you perfectly.

"Stop or you'll start drooling."

Tara felt her cheeks heat up bit as she nudged Mindy away from her.

"Hey."

The sound of your voice coming out in hushed whisper, seeing as the professor had already started his lecture. She couldn't help the smile that made it's way on her face. "Hi."

The class continued on and Tara spent most of her time sneaking glances towards you. Now that she was up close to you, she could take in your face features up close. Your eyes were a soft y/ec, she could also notice some light scars on your face. Now she wondered where you got them. Since she met you, you always wore clothes that covered your body. Long sleeves, sweaters, jackets. She couldn't help but to wonder why.

"You know you won't learn anything if you don't pay attention."

At the sound of your teasing voice her eyes widen a bit and she snapped her head back toward the professor. Her cheeks flaming red at the sound of your soft laugh and Mindy's laugh.

"Shut up. I was multitasking." She huffed, she had been caught ogling at you, feeling all of sudden hot and embarrassed.

*

This time after class you had packed your things slowly. Tara had done the same, Mindy had left right after to meet Anika. "So what class do you have next?" You asked as you stood up.

"I actually have some free time right now, what about you?" She hopped you also had some free time, cause she really wanted to be around you. She knew Sam wouldn't want her to be around someone she barely knows, alone. But there was just something about you that drew her in. Plus ghostface was gone. He had to be. Right?

"So do I. I go to the café not far from here to get something to eat while I study. You wanna come with?" You spoke in tome you hoped that didn't come off too hopeful. Your mom had told you not to trust people, you being too trustworthy was the reason you had almost died the year before. But there was just something about Tara that made you feel like you could trust her. The chances of the same thing happening to you again, was just low. Slim to zero. Right?

*

That's how your days were spent  after your first few classes. They were spent with Tara and sometimes Mindy with her girlfriend Anika. You had met Chad who was Mindy's twin. Along with Quinn and Ethan who were also siblings. Meeting so many people at the same time had made you a little anxious but you tried not to show it.

But Tara had noticed. The way you'd sit at the corner of the booth. Your eyes never looking away from your drink for a long periods of time. Your drink always staying close your body. Or how you'd always keep your answers short. Tara was starting to think you didn't like being around people. It would explain why you always had that 'don't talk to me' look you'd always have.

Although you seemed to relax more when Tara would keep being around you. Tara couldn't explain why she wanted to be around you. But she did and she liked your company. The way you'd relax around her joke and laugh around her. It was something she looked forward to every day.

Four months into the friendship you had with Tara,she had told you what happened to her last year. You couldn't believe she went through that, her own best friend doing that to her. Now you understood why her sister was so protective of Tara. You couldn't blame Sam. Sam had been the girl you saw kissing that guy, that one day. She had recognized you as well but you had kept your mouth shut seeing as she was keeping her relationship a secret. She had been stand-offish towards you as well but you understood. Really you did. You had been the same with everyone else as well. You may be tall but that hadn't stopped anyone before.

You had wanted to tell Tara what happened to you as well but something had stopped you. It wasn't cause you didn't trust. You just felt like it wasn't the right time. She had just told you her trauma, she had cried while she told you. It didn't feel right to tell her yours. So you didn't.

Now you understood why people around campus always looked at Tara and her friends. You never really paid attention to any of them. The scar Tara had on her hand, you didn't question it either. Or the little limp Tara had as well. Sometimes you couldn't really tell she had a limp. It wasn't until you took her to a carnival. With doing a lot of walking, you were able to tell. Without really pointing it out, you had offered a piggy back ride. She laughed and agreed. You saw the small look of relief in her eyes. So you had spent quite a while with her on your back. You had been grateful you picked back up on your gym routine.

You really didn't know who she or her friends were. You never did like the Stab movies and not to mention you had your problems last year.

Now any time you planned something that included walking you made sure to take breaks. You didn't want Tara hurting herself. Now that you knew what had happened to her. You also tried your best to make sure she felt safe.

You were in your apartment now, you had just gotten back from work and had headed straight to take a shower. Tara had texted earlier that she'd be stopping by to take you to her apartment for movie night. You recently given her your spare key. So she'd let herself in.

It wasn't long till Tara had let herself in your apartment. You had been taking too long, everyone was just waiting for you now. She walked further into the apartment. Freezing in her steps when she saw that bathroom door was opened. Your back was to her, she could see your back muscles but what really drew her attention was the light scars on your back. But what really made her stop in her tracks was the tattoo you had your ribcage. It was right under your boob.

DOD92822

She looked at the date, remembering the day like it had been yesterday. It had been the day she had been attacked by ghos-Amber. It had been the day she had thought she was going to die. Why did you have the date tattooed on your body.

"Shit Tara you scared me. I'm almost ready." You had your long sleeve shirt on now, along with some loose shorts. You hadn't noticed how Tara was yet move or say anything as threw your hair up in a messy bun. Finishing your routine and heading out of the bathroom. You only stopped when you noticed the look on Tara's face.

"Hey you okay?" You looked at Tara, growing a bit concern when she didn't say anything. "Tar?"

"What's-What's that?"

You looked at her confused, you looked around to see what she could possibly mean. She walked towards you, placing her hand over your tattoo causing you to straighten up. Breaking your gaze from her to step back. You shuffled on your feet, you weren't sure how to say it.

"Y/n?"

"Have you ever heard of someone named Rosalind Dyer?" You spoke not looking at her just yet. It would be the first time you ever told anyone. You weren't sure if you'd be able to keep your eyes dry if you looked into Tara's eyes.

"The name sounds familiar." Tara didn't know where she heard that name from.

"She's a famous female serial killer. Well turns out she had an apprentice." You moved to sit on the chair. Tara moving to sit in front of you. Now she knew where she heard of that name. She had only been freshman when they had found the first victims of Rosalind Dyer.

"He had kidnapped a few girls and gave them tattoos, before he'd put them in barrels. He had succeeded in doing it to three girls. I had been out with friends at the time. You know we had just won our state championship, we had fake I.Ds. So we went to a bar. There I met Caleb. He had been so nice. Kept on telling me he was a scout ucla and I had believed him. He had so much proof that he was. While I was talking to him about basketball. He slipped something in my drink and the next thing I knew I was strapped on a bed while he gave me the tattoo. The tattoo represented the day of death. I was being put in the barrel, he didn't like how much I was fighting him. He had punched, kicked, sliced his knife at me to force me in. It was a miracle the cops showed up when they did." You finished you'd have felt so grateful for those two cops that saved you that day.

"Uh I still need to save enough money to have the tattoo removed." You mumbled, your eyes still refused to look at Tara.

"The day I told you about what happened to me. Why didn't you say anything. You let me cry on your shoulder. I could have comforted you as well." Tara hadn't heard of what happened down in L.A. She had been too busy focusing on what was going in on Woodsboro. Not knowing that you also were also close to death last year. Not only did you have scars from the day like she did. But you had been branded as well by the psycho killer. Branded by the worst thing that had ever happened to you.

"I didn't think it was the right time Tara. That day was about you."

Tara's heart broke at the sight of tears filling your eyes. It had been the first time you were really vulnerable in front of her. Everything you did now made sense. How you didn't drink if you were out in public, how you always went for bottled water in parties or sometimes not even drink anything. Or how you'd hold her drinks, one hand always covering the top. Or how she'd drunkly try to grab any cups of beer she could get. You'd always stop her. Remembering the small glimpse of fear in your eyes.

She reached for your hands. Taking them in hers.

"Hey. I'm here for you to. Always Y/n. You're stuck with me." She stood up, standing in between your legs as she wrapped her arms around your shoulder and pulled you in. She felt your arms wrapping around her waist. It was no time for her to let the butterflies in her stomach to go crazy.  She wanted to show you the same comfort you showed her when she told you about Ghostface.

She wanted to be the one you felt safe around. Just like she felt safe around you. She felt you relax in her hold. She wanted to make sure you'd never feel like you couldn't tell her something.

*

"I'm assuming she told you."

Tara had stayed with you that night. She had held you like you held her that night she told you. You had fallen asleep on her chest and she couldn't help it but pull you closer. The following morning you had to go to your job and she said she had to go back to the apartment. So with a final hug, you both promised to see each other later.

At the sound of hearing her sisters voice as soon as she walked into her apartment had her jumping a few inches. "Jesus Sam. What the-Wait what do you mean told me? Told me what?"

Sam looked unsure now. If you didn't tell her about what happened, she'd be outing your own trauma and she didn't want to do that. She knew two of your secrets. The one had you pulling your drinks close to you and the one that had you blushing when ever she caught you staring too long at Tara.

"Never mind."

"No does it have to do with her living in L.A?" Tara was now confused cause if it does have what to do with that. How the hell did Sam know.

"Oh she did. Well come on Tara, of course I know. I had to know if she could be trusted. All I had to do was search up her name and a lot of articles from Los Angeles had her name in them." Sam had read a lot of articles and she was had gotten too much information. It was enough for her to feel horrible for reading so much about you. The picture they had of before you had gone missing, you had been so innocent looking. But then they showed one of how you looked after you were rescued. It really was heart wrenching.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Are you kidding. It wasn't my secret to tell. Although it wasn't really a secret, I'm sure she had her reasons. Just like we do. We have our own reasons why we don't go around telling people we survived Ghostface attacks." Sam trying to come to her own defense.

"Yea I know. I just want to be there for her. Like how she was there for me." Tara sat on a chair next to the table. Sam sighed and sat in front of her.

"Just keep doing what your doing Tara. I can tell she trusts you. And her  trust is not misplaced. I'm positive yours isn't either. You both have been through something traumatic. Just be patient." Sam reached over and took her sister's hands in hers.

"I really like her Sam." Tara said her eyes filling with tears. Her emotions were all over the place. That fear she felt, the thought of never getting chance to meet you.

"Hey, she likes you to dumbass." At the sight of the bewildered look she got in return made her laugh.

"Really?"

"Geez you really are dumb. Have you not seen the girl. Cold towards literally everyone else but with you, huge softie. A girl literally flirted with her, talking about how cold she was and how she would love someone's jacket. The second you said you were cold, which I know you said it on purpose. She hands you her jacket." Sam rolled her eyes at the sight of Tara's sheepish blush.

"Trust me Tara she feels the same way."

*

Since you've told tara the truth she's been mostly the same. Just like how you became a little bit more protective of her after she told you about ghostface. She had also grown to be just bit mor as protective of you. Tara had always been affectionate but now she was holding your hand in public, hugging you, holding you. Her physical touch had your heart racing. You love Tara. You were sure, no you were positive that you are in love with her. You just didn't want your feelings to ruin what you hav with Tara.

You were sat in the corner of the library with Tara. You both had some free time, so in the mean time you both were goofing off. Holding laughs that made it even funnier when you would look at each other. You couldn't help to laugh as Tara turned red from trying to hold in her laughter. You needed to calm her down before she had an asthma attack. You could her wheeze as she laughed. You pulled out the spare inhaler you carried with you. You had Tara give you one, since you had a scare at the start of the friendship when she had an asthma attack didn't know what was happening until she took out her inhaler.

"Stop." You held back your laugh as you held out the inhaler for her to take.

Tara took the inhaler and used to it. Once she caught her breath she wiped the tears. She still had her giggles and she had been leaning on you from laughing so hard.

You felt your heart beat pick up just a bit when she leaned back into you. Her head resting on your shoulder. It had been a bit cold in the library while you both had started working on your assignments. So you had given her your hoodie for her to wear. You had your long sleeves underneath, you had seen the goosebumps on Tara's arms and you didn't want her to get cold. She had taken the hoodie with some eagerness and put it on. You smiled at the sight of your hoodie engulfing her in your clothing. Your hoodie was really big on her.

Tara had not been cold. She had gotten the goosebumps from how close you were. She had wanted to lean into your warm embrace. You had thought she was cold. And now she was surrounded by your scent. She had pulled the hoodie close to her body. You were totally not getting the hoodie back. It was so warm, so soft and just so you.

"So I've bee-There you two are. I've been looking everywhere. Don't make any planes for later. We've been invited to a party and we're all going." Mindy interrupted you. You deflated a bit knowing very well that Tara would want to go to the party. Even though Sam didn't like when she'd go out. You didn't either but you'd go to make sure Tara and her friends were safe.

It wasn't long till they were all in your apartment getting ready. It was a Halloween party, Tara had dressed up as a pirate and she had you dressing up as one as well. Although you were dressed more like Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean. You didn't want to but you agreed never the less when it came to

Tara.

"Oh you guys look so cute." Anika gushed from her seat as Tara fixed your hat. You blushed when Tara smirked your way, her eyes twinkling in the lights from your apartment.

"Nika take a picture of us." Tara handed her phone to Anika. She then moved back to you pulling your close. Her arms wrapped around your waist as your loved to around her shoulders pulling her closer.

Anika took the pictures and more. Smirking when she caught the moment when you looked down at Tara and Tara had looked back up at you. The moment being captured by Anika and she couldn't feel any more proud of herself.

The walk towards the party was pretty light. Tara stayed by your side, her fingers interlocked with yours. You stood tall next to her, just cause she had seen your softer side, didn't everyone else got to.

The party had already been in full swing by the time they arrived. You watched as tara served herself a drink and grabbed a bottled water for you. You tried to relax but you never really liked going to parties. You had told Tara you had to go to the bathroom. She nodded standing up to follow you. You sat her down with a hand on the shoulder.

"I'll be fine. Stay with Mindy I won't be long."

Even though tipsy, she hesitated to let you leave by yourself. She hated how over bearing Sam had become and she didn't want you to feel like that. She stayed in her seat watching you leave. She knew the line for the down stairs bathroom was long. So maybe you'd go upstairs. And you did. So you wouldn't last too long. She watched as you disappeared upstairs. She counted down the minutes, standing up to wait for you by the stairs. As she made her to the stairs, she was stopped.

"You're looking quite sexy Tara. Wanna go upstairs so I can show you my hook."

Tara groaned in annoyance. She had just about enough of the guy standing in front of her. He had tried so hard to get her attention the moment they moved to New York. She had done everything to avoid him. And he would stay when you were around. He wouldn't out right say it but was afraid of you. But there were times when she'd be alone and he'd try to talk her up.

"Leave me alone Frankie."

She moved to go around him but was stopped by his hand grabbing her wrist. He tried to lead her up stairs and she had been a little more tipsy than she had thought. Her balance was off and had fallen if the douche bag wasn't holding her.

"Hey man, Tara's good down here." Chad had reached for Tara's wrist but Frankie had pulled her away.

"Sorry bro I didn't catch that." Frankie took a step down he smug attitude in place.

You had been turning to walk down the steps, the bathroom upstairs also a line but wasn't as long as the one downstairs. You stopped right behind the guy that you had slammed his face on the table. You couldn't be bothered to remember his name.

"Yea you did. Now let her go." With being step or two above him you stood extremely over him. Your eyes went down to the wrist that the douche bag had a hold of. You saw the shift of his attitude the way he clenched his dad. The hold he tara tightening. The wince coming from tara was enough for your to react.

Making the finals steps to him as you moved stand between Tara and the frat boy. Your hand gripping the hand that held Tara's. "I said let her go."

With a mocking laugh he let go, you also let him go. You didn't think he'd do something else. But you were proven wrong, before you could even blink his left fist connected with your cheek. The force of the punch had caused you to lose your balance and fall down a few steps before Chad caught you.

"You fucking asshole."

You had heard Tara curse the guy out. But then it was followed by a loud groan and another person tumbling down the steps. Chad had moved you both out of the way of falling frat boy. Everyone in the party laughed at the boy as clutched on to his balls.

"Oh my god are you okay. Let me see." Tara had sobered up pretty quickly when you been punched. She had felt this, anger in her. She had never felt like this. But actually seeing you get hurt right in front of her had her seeing red. She moved with a purpose, to cause any type of pain towards Frankie. And that's what she did she made sure to use the tip of her heels. The satisfaction of seeing him cry in pain as he fell to the floor.

Seeing you standing there in shock and a hint of amusement in your eyes had her snapping her attention back to you. Cupping your cheeks to see the damage done on your pretty face. With the lights house being shitty she took your hand on hers, picking up your fallen pirate hat.

Once out side under a street light she stopped taking in your slightly red cheek bone.

"Ugh that asshole. I'm going to-Hey I'm okay. Are you okay? You were dragged upstairs. I should of have been there with you." You stopped her from talking. Feeling a little guilty for not stopping that douche bag.

"Hey it's not your fault. Frankie is douche and a total creep." Tara gently rubbed her thump over the redness of your cheek bone.

You couldn't help the smile and them a small laugh. "Man. His face was too funny when you went full on Messi on his balls." At the sight of Tara's proud smile you let out a full on laugh. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Man Tara that was awesome."

"Thank you thank you." She stated in a confident voice standing straight while wrapping her arm wound your waist. She had laughed as well, she was thankful that nothing today had brought any bad memories your way.

Her smile faltered a bit when she noticed how close both of your faces were. She had seen the moment you realized the closeness as well. Her skipping a beat at the sight of your eyes looking into her and then down to her lips. She moved a little closer, hoping she had read the signs right. She really hoped she did. Seeing you look back into her eyes with only inches keeping her lips off yours. The look in your eyes was enough for her to make the final move.

The moment her lips touched yours, was enough for her to die of happiness. Your lips had been as soft as they looked. The way you cupped her cheeks, she gripped your shirt in her fists pulling you as close as she could. She faintly taste your cheery chapstick and didn't know she could love cherry so much. Loving the way you held her. The way your lips moved against hers. The way your lips had dominated hers without even trying.

She smiled into the kiss, causing you to smile in return pulling away from the kiss.

"Wait you're not drunk are you. Oh my god I just too-Shut up. I'm not drunk and you have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that." She smiled up at you. Her dimples on full display when you smiled back down at her.

From a distance Tara’s friends stood with happy smiles on their faces. It was about damn time that the two of you got together.

The two of you deserved each other.

:)

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Would You Marry Me?

You couldn't say how you had ended up there for sure, hand in hand in some chapel, smiling a drunken smile at Bill as he reciprocated.

You guys were just eighteen, but drunken after a concert, you guys found your way to a chapel.

You could remember sitting on top of the trunk of Bill's car, smoking and drinking under the moon's glow.

You remembered leaning back, holding Bill's hand as he held yours, his other holding a cig and your other hand holding the alcohol.

You could remember Bill turning his head to you, smiling as he admired you like he always did, running his thumb over your hand as he stared.

"...you wanna get married?"

"What?" You laughed at his words, thinking he was joking only to see his dead serious face.

"Wait- you're serious?"

"Yeah…would you marry me, (Name)?"

You stared for a moment, a small smile on your face, nodding your head. "Yeah." You muttered, Bill chuckling softly as he leaned down to you.

"Yeah?" Bill repeated, looking into your eyes as if for confirmation. "Yeah." You laughed, Bill wasting no time to lean down and kiss you once more, the last one as just partners dating.

"Come on!" Bill slid off the trunk, you laughed as he pulled you up, almost lifting you off the trunk, taking your hand as he and you almost tripped over one another going to the chapel.

You could remember Bill smiling at you, holding your hand as you all but ignored the officiant, never hearing anything but the words you had heard many times before to others, but now it was for you.

Bill had said his "I do." While smiling at you, resisting to kiss you when he did.

The officiant then turned to you.

"Do you take Bill Kaulitz to be your lawfully wedded Husband?"

You smiled, never looking away from Bill.

"I do."

You remembered nothing more than Bill finally kissing you as you were pronounced married, laughing between kisses as everything was a drunken blur.

So now you sat on the curb of the sidewalk, papers and documents in your hands as you went over them again and again, each time with each one saying the same thing.

You were married. To Bill Kaulitz.

"Fuck, did we actually do that?" You laughed, holding the papers in your hand as you sat on the curb, Bill at your side.

"We just. We just did." Bill laughed along with you, leaning closer to you, his eyes scrunched up with his beautiful smile, his hand on the back of your neck as you touched foreheads.

"They're gonna kill us." You breathed out, barely away from his lips as you smiled, looking into his eyes.

"So fucking what?" Bill smiled, shaking his head as he leaned forward, locking your lips on a drunken kiss, the first of many kisses between your marriage.

Bill and you shared your kiss on that curb, it wasn't the best planning on your part, sure, but with Bill, everything was perfect.

That day it was leaked. A picture of you and Bill outside the chapel, kissing on the curb with marriage papers and marriage certificate in hand.

People went mad. They went crazy. They were hypocritical that you guys were too young. That you wouldn't make it. There were supporters, there were ones that were happy.

There was Tom, Gustav and Georg. Your best friends who were saddened they weren't there, but happy for you.

Maybe you wanted a real wedding with them in it.

People said that would never happen and laughed when you brought up being married to Bill forever.

None of them mattered though as you stood hand in hand with Bill once more fifteen years later, the same smitten smiles on your faces, alcohol free.

Gustav, Georg and Tom all stood beside you, Tom as the officiant to his brother for once, or at least now, you were having your actual wedding.

They said you wouldn't make it a year, but here you stood hand in hand, fifteen years later.

Same smiles. Same love. Same Bill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y'all I know this sucks but tell me if you like it in the comments!

Taglist: @billsjum6ie @bigbootahjudy @dead-tapes

@ilovebill-and-gustav @r3dheadedw0rld @kiwitsune @V4mpyboyy @novaaisstupid @billybabeskaulitz @yas-v @iischafer @dilfverz @ahswhore0 @graciegizmo3184 @sweetpuffy12 @elenacgn08 @80s-tingz @ryiana @yuriayato5 @juliarc28 @bunnysenpai31 @banshailey @meryldian @tcmltmptheg @bandberries @killed-kiss

[mieldreams]

Orange Juice

Summary: It's the next evening, Anakin's still a pain in the ass but...he's also nice? Did the orange juice change things? (pt 2 to Payal)

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x desi!reader (or just reader who's familiar/involved with that culture)

Warnings: none at all hehe ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و

A/n: mind numbing exams, soul crushing reality checks and one (1) mental breakdown later – she's finally here! can't believe y'all liked the first Dumpster Fire fic wow. so here's its sequel – Dumpster Fire 2: Electric Bugaloo. hope you enjoy!

Last night had gone splendidly, AJ had met with you right before the dance just as he had promised and the flow of conversation between you guys couldn't have been smoother. Turns out you guys had a lot more in common besides the same course. And what had started as cordial small talk while waiting for more people to gather, had turned into whispered inside jokes by the end of the night, hushed laughter as the people dancing around you gave side eyes.

You had ended up exchanging numbers, promising to plan a hangout sometime soon. And while you had been too busy laughing at the story of how 'one time he had wanted a mullet as a kid but his mother wouldn't let him get one, so naturally he had resorted to expressing his creative urges on his poor pet cat and it was unfortunately right before her death too, so she had to buried looking like a 70s rock god kitty.'

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you miss her," though it was hard to keep a straight face with the mental image of a cat with a rockstar mullet.

"No, it's fine, I mean I was sad, yeah.. specifically considering I already had like 3 options of new names for her that I never got to use." He shook his head with a deep frown.

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"Well... there was Paul McCatney" he started to list on his fingers, while you tried to remain serious.

"Uh-huh,"

"Catrick Swayze, or—my personal favourite—David Meowie," and this time there was truly no way you could've stopped the snort from escaping you, an amused grin growing on AJ's face in response, though he continued his charade with an offended tone, "Heyyy, are you mocking my naming abilities??"

"Oh no, I absolutely wouldn't, like ever. Not when you came up with something as original and creative as David Meowie" you gave the most genuine expression you could manage, with arms raised in a 'not me' sort of way.

This time he laughed and that's what had finally snapped Aamani, who had been walking with Krish to the exit, just a few feet behind you and AJ – far enough to not be too intrusive but close enough to hear... well, pretty much everything. But now, she was more than ready to drag your ass back and away from that guy.

"...again, don't you think it's a bit much that we're eavesdropping on her? Plus they're clearly only having a platonic conversation..." Krish whispered, leaning in while still keeping his gaze ahead.

"No it's not. And like you said, it's a platonic conversation, right? So there's nothing we could be eavesdropping on."

Though he didn't entirely agree with his girlfriend, he simply shook his head with a sigh and continued to keep an eye on you, after all, neither of them was too familiar with this AJ guy. Not as familiar as you seemed to have gotten in one evening, at least.

"Also, have you tried calling Anakin?" Aamani asked, getting more and more agitated at the less and less distance between you and AJ as you walked closer together.

"I did. He didn't pick up..." Krish grimaced, thinking they had really ruined it for you two now. And Aamani had always been able to read him like her favourite book, shaking her head firmly.

"Oh no, we did not, don't even think it. We have not ruined it for them. Trust me, okay? We have not. Those two are fucking idiots and they will see what's right— specifically what's right in front of them." she gestured frustratingly, waving her arms in front of her.

Krish looked a little surprised at how serious she was, serious enough to swear apparently, and Aamani of course noticed, shooting him an annoyed glance. He knew she found it annoying when people gave her that look for swearing. Just because she didn't frequently prefer to, doesn't mean she couldn't at all.

"Right, sorry-sorry" he squeezed her hand twice.

"Forget it..." She stopped right in front of him making him pause as well. Turning to him with an almost devious smile, "Because the night's still young... and picture toh abhi baaki hai, mere dost" her smile turning to a full grin with a cheeky wink.

Krish snorted, taking two steps ahead to toss his arm around her shoulders, "I hope you'll love me forever," he sighed, "because I don't even want to imagine the evil schemes you'll have if we break up." His expression held a small but content smile.

"Well, if we ever break up, I'd advise you to be more worried about Y/N than me. If I'm the lord of schemes, she's the emperor of revenge."

And her words brought up the memory of your words to him, almost a year back, right before he'd been about to ask Manu out on their first ever date, he didn't even know how you knew, or where you'd shown up from in that empty college hallway (seriously it was like you had teleported right in front of him or something), and the thought of you actually acting on the promise (threat more like) you had made that day made him shiver.

"–Alright! Who wants to get some late-night momos?" he shouted out instead, noticing that you and AJ had said your goodbyes and started to walk separate ways.

"ME!!!" both your and Manu's shouts echoed in the nearly empty ground. 'And it's just that easy to distract them huh' he laughed to himself, pulling out his car keys as the three of you walked out the gates.

The next day was pretty mundane. For you that is, Krish had been stuck on a 2 hour-long call with Aamani about today's mission. 'Mission Seduction' is what she called it, though she had blushed and sort of stuttered as she said it. He wondered why.

The plan was simple, Krish and Anakin would be meeting up at Manu's house, Krish calling him over with a pile of new kurtas because 'yaar I forgot me and Aamani were supposed to match today, can you please bring over a bunch of kurtas from my closet so we can see which one matches best? Oh, and you can come dressed already. After I change, all four of us can head to the ground together.' A quick text ending with three praying hands emojis along with an actual prayer because—

"Do you really think emojis are gonna convince him to come?" The unsaid reference to last night's events was well understood.

"They have to. I somehow managed to convince Y/N to go late to stall her, nothing will work out if he doesn't show up, and I don't actually have any "special tasty treats from the new sweet shop" to give her—"

"You promised her "tasty treats"?

"Well... we're calling Anakin over and then we're gonna get them where we want them and then they're gonna—"

"—okay, don't say it. I get it."

"—and then she'll take him to the bedroom and—"

"Nope. Absolutely not—"

She cackled as she watched her boyfriend run up the stairs to her room with his hands over his ears, just as you exited the bathroom and walked into the living room.

"What are you laughing like an evil witch for?" and that immediately stopped her laughter. "Umm... noooothing–" she said with a nervous sort of laugh, but she wouldn't meet your eyes, and so you narrowed yours at her.

"Okay, so where's my "special tast—" but the loud *ding-dong* of the front bell interrupts you. You walk towards the door to open it while continuing to talk to her, "Did you have them delivered or something? The shop's just down the road, you know? We could've just walked there if you wanted it so bad, I mean after you told me, I started craving it, and now I want it really bad—"

"What do you want really bad?"

But it wasn't one of those delivery guys from sweet shops. "Anakin."

"Uhm... yeah I—"

"You're not delivering the sweets, are you?? What are you doing here?"

You hear a snort behind you but you could hardly look anywhere but his eyes that gleamed a brilliant blue in the twilight sun backdrop.

"What? No, I got the shirts Krish asked me to," he scoffed rolling his eyes. Never mind, fuck him and his stupid-annoying-gorgeous eyes.

You turned to Manu, "Had Krish—"

But Krish must've already seen Anakin walking up to the door from the window because he came bounding down the steps, greeting Anakin with a bear hug. "Aniii, my man," he maintained a cheery tone though he was wheezing from the run down the stairs, "how you beeeen?"

"Um, normal? About the same since you last saw me 30 minutes ago??"

"Right-right, that's good to hear." Krish gave an almost fake seeming laugh, though it was hard to tell with this guy's perennial happy go lucky vibes.

Now, you and Anakin didn't agree on much, but you immediately shared a questioning look that said, 'what's up with him???'

And Manu of course caught it, having walked up behind boyfriend just as he was about to start rambling nonsense to skirt around the actual lying part.

'You guys are so alike in character, I don't know how you don't see it.' she'd told you once. And you had immediately walked over to her, touching the back of your palm to her forehead to check her temperature.

"Hey, Anakin! Thanks for coming ove– err.. bringing that over," she said while taking the bag from him, "Why don't you come in and wait inside?" She turned to you next, "Not gonna invite him in, Y/N? Some host you are, what happened to 'Atithi Devo Bhava'? she teased as she shoved the bag into her boyfriend's hands and started pushing him towards another room on the ground floor.

"Um first of all, this is your house, you'd be the host," you start as you move aside to wordlessly invite him in with a sweeping gesture of your hand, "second of all, it's less 'devo' and more like 'shaitan ka baccha' really— 'Atithi Shaitan ka Baccha'.." though you mumbled the last part, putting on an exaggerated fake grin when Anakin gave you a questioning glance, though you didn't bother translating.

"Okay, well if I'm not getting my sweets anytime soon, I'm just gonna go finish getting ready. You don't need to use your room right?" Manu shook her head no but she was already lost in planning how to now proceed with The Mission: Part 2.

So she tells Anakin to wait in the living room and that he could turn on the TV or something if he wanted, and goes to the room to discuss their new plan of action considering they hadn't expected Anakin to show up so quickly, before you'd even gotten ready.

Which.. may or may not have had something to do with the secret extra messages Krish had sent Anakin after he'd walked away to Aamani's room.

'Y/N's here too.' 'She's got a real pretty lehenga picked out, you know? :)'

"Okay, so they're both here. Now what?" Krish whispered as soon as Aamani walked into the room and locked the door behind her.

"Hmm... well.. should we go with plan Orange Juice or do you think Strawberry Jam would work better?"

"I think we shouldn't do this at all Aamani," but she just playfully rolled her eyes in annoyance and so he continued, "But if we are doing this, let's go with liquids, it'll be easier... I think..?"

"Orange juice it is then."

And with that she steps out of the room and walks into the living room again, "Would you like something to drink, Anakin? It's good to hydrate yourself before the night-long dancing and all,"

"Um thanks but I'm not gonna dance so it's fine—"

"Are you sure? We have some really good fresh orange juice,"

"No it's fine really—"

"You know what? You just sit right there, I'll get you a glass, okay?" And without waiting for an answer she walks away to the kitchen.

"AAMANI!!" your voice echoes from the floor above, "Have you seen my jhumka?! The silver one with the mirrors?? I'm only able to find one of them.." you yelled as you walk down the stairs and into the living room, "I just had it and now... ugh why am I always losing the other half of my fucking jewellery."

But you stop short as you see Anakin sitting on the couch, boredly flipping through some random magazines, head turning to you as he hears your voice.

Your eyes meet for a brief second before his gaze runs down your body in a slow sweep – down then up again, lingering on your neck exposed by the low neckline and your pierced belly button.

You clear your throat and he immediately averts his gaze.

"Um...you wouldn't have happened to see my jhumka anywhere?" Though you knew it'd be useless asking, you swear you had both of them on before you'd opened the door to Anakin, though you hadn't put the back of the studs in for one of them, so it fell out somewhere I guess.

He stands up from the couch, walking over to you and you have to tilt your head to meet his eyes now that he wasn't sitting. The sudden proximity catches you off guard, eyes wide as he slowly raises his hand towards you, giving you all the time to move away or stop him. But for some reason, you don't.

Instead, you hold your breath as Anakin gently runs a finger over the curve of your right ear, slowly moving the hair covering it to reveal the jhumka you still had. His hand runs down the length of your hair, softly caressing the tresses between his fingers, eyes fixated on your shiny silver jewellery. His tongue pokes out to trace his lips, parting them to say—

"Anakin! I got you the orange juice, it's nice and cold! And don't worry it isn't too sweet either, know that you don't really like—"

You and Anakin jump what you hoped was miles apart the minute you heard Manu's voice, though in reality, it was more like you taking a step away to find something oh-so-interesting on your skirt that you just couldn't take your eyes off of it, running your hands up and down the fabric to smooth down imaginary wrinkles, while Anakin had actually jumped three steps back closer to the coffee table, studying those same boring magazines like he was going to be quizzed on it.

"I didn't know you could read upside-down Ani," Manu's teasing voice called him out.

Aamani was going to pretend like she hadn't seen anything but that didn't mean she couldn't mess with them. Specifically Anakin, considering she was kind of still mad at him for ditching her best friend the way he did last night. Unfortunately, Krish, her more 'grounded in reality' boyfriend wasn't in the room to remind her that Anakin had never actually promised you anything at all, so there was no "ditching". Plus you had seemed completely fine spending the evening with AJ, more than fine even.

You finally look up–if only to check–and sure enough, the magazine he had picked up and flipped to some random page had been upside down, and what's worse (for him, it was funnier for you and Manu) was the giant ad page that you realised was the one with the cartoon.

It was an illustration of two men talking with a speech bubble that said, "I've invested in these new viagra shares, I hear it's a really growing industry."

A performance enhancer ad.

It was even funnier now than when you'd found it the first time and shown Manu. Anakin seemed to have realised what he had been intently staring at too, ears turning bright red, your snort making him snap his head to glare at you. But as he turned his head something caught his eye, glinting in the periphery of his vision from under the coffee table.

"Anyways, here's your orange juice-" but Manu's foot gets caught on the edge of the carpet, her long skirt not allowing her to see her steps properly and she trips, just as Anakin bends down towards the glinting thing.

The glass in her hand, filled to the brim, tips, the juice flying out of it, missing Anakin's kneeled form to the side and landing right on your lehenga top. A gasp escapes your lips, an "oh my god, I'm so sorry" immediately escaping Manu's. Anakin quickly snatches up the object from the floor before walking to you. He looks down to see the orange juice damage on your top just as you raise your head, immediately catching his gaze and snapping at him with a flat tone,

"Stop staring at my tits."

His nostrils flared. "I am not staring at your tits."

But before you could argue back about how you had literally caught him doing just that, Manu came rushing forward with a string of apologies pouring from her mouth.

"Oh my gosh Y/N- I- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Gosh- I've ruined your lehenga I'm really sorry, it was an accident- I wasn't watching my steps and I tripped and-"

You take two steps forward and take her empty hand in yours, giving it a squeeze, "It's fine Manu. This top's ruined but I have others and look–" you gestured to your bottom half, "the skirt's fine. I can just change the top or something, it'll be fine."

"But it's orange juice.. it's gonna stain Y/N– gosh I'm so sorry"

"It's fine, dude. Yeah it'll stain but what's done is done. And like you said it was an accident, so.." you pat her hand before dropping it, "I'm just gonna go change, alright? Then we can all head to ground together."

And with that you walk back to climb the stairs to Manu's room.

After a full 15 minutes of rummaging through both the clothes you had brought over to Manu's house as well as Manu's own closet you had given up on finding something to match the skirt so you just switched both the top and the skirt to a new set entirely.

"MANU!!" You call out after spending a frustrating five minutes trying to tie the strings on the back of your top, "Manu!! Can you help me tie these stupid strings, please? Manu-" You were about to call her a third time before you get interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

You walk up to the door and unlock it, opening it to let Manu in. But it isn't Manu standing on the other side. Rather, a sheepish-looking Anakin. Dang why were you repeatedly opening doors to the wrong people today. You had the immediate urge to slam the door shut again, your heartbeat quickening for some reason.

"Uhh.. Manu went out with Krish a while back... something about getting you your sweets as an apology so..." he trails off.

You stare at him with a blank face, not quite catching onto his implication.

He catches your look and sighs. That irks you for some reason, "Look do you have something to say or-"

"It means it's just me and you in the house, Y/N."

"Oh."

"Yeah.."

You look to the side, your head moving in a slow nod, then you walk back into the room towards the dresser with the mirror. You turn your back to the mirror, craning your neck to see the strings you were trying to tie into an at least half-decent-looking bow.

After bending your arms in twenty different awkward ways you finally manage to tie the strings together, letting out a small "Aha!" of victory as you twirl to face the mirror again. But the movement causes the strings to come loose and you feel the bow fall apart into a simple knot again, your face falling with it. A moment passes and you simply stare at the mirror, contemplating changing your clothes again or just choosing to rot to death instead. You watch yourself blink twice.

Anakin clears his throat. Oh, he was still standing there, "I can help if you want.."

You watch yourself blink again. Then take a deep breath, slowly exhaling as you make your choice. Anakin had entered the room to stand behind you now, your eyes meeting in the mirror.

You only give a nonchalant sort of shrug in response, pretending to not care much. Like your heart isn't racing as he takes two steps closer to you, like his sudden warmth behind you doesn't make you want to lean back into his wide chest to feel more of it. like the feather-light caress of his fingers doesn't spread goosebumps across your back, the burning sparks from his warm hands setting fire to your brain.

You had expected him to just go off the knot you had made and simply tie the bow, but his fingers tug on the knot to undo it, catching you off guard as you stumble back into his chest. There. Looks like you got what you wanted, but now you aren't sure if this proximity is a curse or a blessing. His hands continue working in slow deliberate movements to tie the strings, doing a much better job than you had, but the repeated soft brushes of his warm palm and the air that moved from his movements were driving you absolutely mad.

When you felt him finish, you went to turn around. You realise then that your eyes were downcast the entire time, raising them to meet his as you faced him. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realise your faces are hardly a hair's breadth away. You can't remember the last time you were so close. No, you actually do. It was at that party during your second year at college, but that was different. There were other people present no matter what had transpired, but now? Now, you were entirely alone not only in the room but also in the house.

And what should have been a quiet moment in the empty house was overpowered by the thunderous heartbeat in your chest.

What was this? Were you having a heart attack?

Oh my god, Anakin would let you die if you were having a heart attack– you could NOT die with Anakin being the last person you see. God knows what sorts of stupid rumours he'd spread about your final moments. Definitely something mocking or untrue – "she died grovelling at my feet for my forgiveness for the time she mixed pink dye in my body wash" (he had walked around looking like the pink lady troll for 3 whole days – you were not sorry) — "She cried telling me she regretted replacing all the faces in the photos in my dorm with pictures of Steve Buscemi" (wrong. You had only felt bad cutting out his childhood dog's face, even though it was only a duplicate of the original photo) — "She told me I had better hair than her" (that was, unfortunately, true. but you would never ever admit that to him) — "She also said she's leaving me her secret red curry recipe so if I can have that—" (you wouldn't let him have that even over your dead body).

So no, dying with only Anakin as company was not something you could allow. But why weren't you doing anything? Why would your feet not move when you tried to step back from him? Were you even trying?

All these thoughts come to an immediate halt when Anakin uses his hand that had fallen to your waist to tug you into him once more. The smell of pine cones and smoke and leather wraps around your senses like a heavy blanket. Your skin tingles from the warmth of his breath and your head spins from the warmth of his body. His eyes are a mesmerising ocean from this distance, like the sea reflecting a thunderstorm sky – and you feel like you're being pulled into the cyclone, slowly but surely, as your body instinctually moves closer to him.

His face holds an almost pained expression, "What are you doing to me?" he whispers, eyes fluttering close.

Just half a step more and you'd be pressed entirely up against him, just half a step more and you would—

*CRASH*

The sound of something falling right outside the bedroom door makes you both jump apart immediately like your bodies were on fire, they definitely felt like it.

You hear hushed murmurs outside the door and you're sure Anakin hears it too, as you both sneak a look at each other then immediately avert your gazes again.

This time you clear your throat, "I'm gonna.." you awkwardly gesture towards the door with one hand, still refusing to meet his eyes but catching his nod in the periphery of your vision. You walk to the bedroom door, pausing right before it to take a deep breath, trying to shake off whatever haze Anakin had put you in.

That was another thing. Did Anakin know some black magic or something? What had taken over you? What sort of spell had he put on you? And without your permission? Damn him.

This time when you open the door it actually is Manu, and Krish as well, though you can't help but raise a brow at how you find them – Krish, kneeling on the floor in front of the door with a large plastic bag hanging from his hands that covers half his face while Manu is stood beside him with a bent elbow resting on his head like a support, her other arm on her hip as she gives you a suspiciously toothy grin.

"Heyyyy Y/N—" she chirps.

You narrow your eyes.

"—we got ya some sweet treats," and Krish immediately extends his hands forward, the plastic bag swinging with force. You can't help but snort at the sight.

Anakin had walked up behind you now and you tried really hard to be indifferent to the feeling of his chest against your back, but the past 5? 10? 15 minutes? How long had it been? For a moment it had felt like time had stopped in that room and now you didn't know how long it had been since Manu and Krish had left the house. Had they heard the both of you? Worse, had they seen the both of you?

'Seen what?' you chastise yourself. It's not like you were– like you.. were... But your face starts heating up at the memory so you immediately take a step to the side, away from Anakin as much as you could in that tiny doorway.

Manu and Krish notice this and share a concerned look that you both miss.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Anakin speaks up, tilting his head towards Krish's kneeling form.

"Uh... you know.. just checking– just checking for uh.."

"For the safety pin! I dropped a safety pin.." Manu butts in, immediately pretending to look for something on the floor before looking back at you, "I– uh, I dropped a safety pin somewhere and you know.. wouldn't want someone to step on it so.."

"Oh, I'll help you look for it then—" You go to kneel down as well but Manu rushes forward to stop you.

"Oh no, that's alright.. we uh– we realised that I probably accidentally kicked it under that cupboard," she said pointing to a small storage thing to the side with Krish nodding along fervently.

"Oh.. okay." You step to the side as Anakin extends his hand to Krish to help him up.

Manu takes the bag containing the box of sweets and hands it over to you, "Why don't we all eat something and then we'll head out, yeah? Y/N, why don't you and Anakin take these to the kitchen? Krish and I will be down in a minute."

You and Anakin look at each other from the corner of your eyes but immediately look different ways when your gazes meet.

"Um yeah..okay, sure, whatever... let's go" and you start making your way towards the steps, down to the kitchen on the ground floor, Anakin having no option but to follow after stalling for a few seconds.

Once you and Anakin are out of earshot Manu immediately turns to Krish with a worried look, "Why were they like that? Do you think something happened?"

Krish looks towards the steps that you had just climbed down, "I don't know Aamani.. I told you this might not be a good idea.." he too had a frown on his face.

She sighs, "Look I know okay? But I have this gut feeling– there's still hope.. I mean look–" she gestured towards the ground floor, "Y/N didn't say no to going to the kitchen with Anakin," she turns back to Krish with a pleading look, "she wouldn't have agreed if she was so against it. You remember last year right?"

Krish nods in response, though with a slight grimace.

"Exactly. If she really still hated him so much she would never even be in the same room as him. And she's the kind of person who doesn't much hide what she thinks.."

"—which comes with its own set of problems.." Krish adds.

"Hey! Your best friend isn't a saint either. He was the one who started all this, just because he was too immature to simply accept and act on his feelings like a normal person."

Krish makes a clicking sound with his tongue, "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure it was your best friend who started it." he shakes his head definitively, "And while Ani can be immature at times—"

Seeing Manu's 'at times? oh really?' expression he backtracks, "Fine. Anakin can be immature a lot of times but YN isn't exactly guilt-free either."

Aamani scoffs, "Last time I checked, she wasn't the one to—"

"Okay! Amani meri jaan– listen I really don't want to fight you on this. I agree to your plans because I believe in you and we're a team. I don't want whatever's going on between them to come between us and disturb our peace." He takes her hands in his to kiss them, "So can we please not argue?"

And how could she not immediately melt into his arms?

But as she's got her arms around him she launches her sneak attack – the good ol' 'bend your boyfriend with the sweetest voice with the promise of something even sweeter later on' trick.

"...so that means you'll help me execute the next step of the plan right?"

Krish lets out a 'tired single mom' sigh, "Tell me why I'm not surprised that you've already got the next step planned?" though it's more of a rhetorical question.

"Because you're the bestest boyfriend and a reallyyy good friend to both YN and Anakin that's why you'll help me help them?" this time she pulls back to hit him with the full force of puss-in-boots eyes looking directly into his.

"Oof, you use unfair tactics, darling." He shakes his head, grabbing her hand again to lead her to the stairs. "So, what's the next step, O Great Queen of Schemes?"

"I'm glad you asked– my dearest Maharaja, I'm glad you asked." Their voices fading as they make their way down.

This scene inspired the bedroom scene.

*Atithi devo bhava - the guest is god *Shaitan ka baccha - son of the devil/devil's child. So 'atithi shaitan ka baccha' – the guest is the son of the devil.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

A/n: I know this somewhat reads like a crack fic with absolutely no logic but I wasn't in the mood to write anything too serious.

(I wrote this in 2 nights after finishing a show in the aftermath of which I was left with the desolate feeling of having to face reality again :/ so I thought back to the fictional boyfriends we go :D )

So I'm sorry if this isn't what y'all wanted from the 2nd part.. tho maybe we'll still get to see them dance soon? 👀

ps: I am confusion?? about the title of this – I suck at naming fics can you tell? (╥ ᴗ ╥) if u have better suggestions pls do share!

I'm open to any ideas or suggestions that y'all would like to see in the next part so till then

Toodles.

[doberbutts]

I mean this is a pretty hot take but I think until y'all can sit down and actually provide examples of what you mean by "privilege" instead of using the word as a means of referring to the nebulous idea that some people have it better and its Their Fault, there will continue to be absolutely braindead takes about who holds what privilege and how it conflicts with actual first-hand experience.

That's why, when I ask what male privilege I was apparently either born with or received immediately upon coming out, I get crickets.

When we talk about male privilege, we talk about getting paid more. We talk about getting hired more, and into higher-paying jobs more. We talk about being able to vote and drive and have credit cards and bank accounts. We talk about reproductive freedom and body autonomy. We talk about rape statistics, domestic violence, and other forms of violent crime. We talk about immigration and citizenship status and human trafficking. We talk about power dynamics in relationships. We talk about society's expectations for gender roles.

There's two big problems with this:

Unless a trans man is completely binary, fully stealth, and has burned every trace of his past, almost none of this is accessible to him. Trans men don't get paid more unless their gender marker is M, there's no mention of ever being anything but cisgender, and they're completely stealth. They don't get hired more, unless these things are true. Many lived lives being discouraged from chasing higher paying jobs such as STEM fields due to being seen as girls, so they're not going into these jobs more either. Similarly with voting- when I registered to vote I was non-passing, with my legal name and gender marker. To the voting office, I was a woman. To my credit card company, who has never seen my face, I'm *still* a woman, despite passing most of the time. To my bank account, which I've had since I was 8, I've never not been a woman. When I took my driver's test, I was treated as a woman.

When I asked for a hysterectomy at 20, I was told not until I was over 30, had a minimum of two children, or had a husband to sign off on it. Just like a woman. When I whacked my head as a kid and was rushed to the doctor, the doctor specifically said if I was a boy he wouldn't have bothered stitching but a girl can't have scars on her face *while he was stitching my forehead back together*. I had to fight to be allowed to cut my long hair. I had to fight to be allowed to take care of it by myself.

I have needed to leave relationships when I realized I was with a man that would hurt me for his gain. I've been assaulted by my peers for being a black woman or a black girl in a space that I was not wanted.

I was raised with the expectation that I would be a mother to a large family with a husband that kept me pregnant and likely staying at home like a typical tradwife. I was punished, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially for rejecting that life. I lost literally all my social group from before I came out. I lost a good chunk of family members too, and the ones I have left are... trying, but not perfect.

And:

Other marginalized men are also often denied access to these things either. White men might be paid more, but white women make more than men of any other race. White men might be hired more, but "Rachel" is more likely to get a call back than "Rafael". White men are more likely to be in a STEM position, but tell me when the last time you saw a Native doctor. It may have been *legal* for racially marginalized men to vote, but those who did not speak English had no ability to do so until 45 years *after* white women had the right to vote (and technically it took another 10 years for translations to actually be provided). Banks and credit companies and driver's tests and mortgage brokers and more are *known* to discriminate, between barely-legal remnants of redlining to outright illegal discrimination because they know they can get away with it.

Black and Native children are taken from their birth families and placed into foster care and adoptive homes daily due to state-sponsered genocide. It's more than just the mother that's affected by this. Black men are largely targeted by stop-and-frisk policing policies that exist to do nothing except harass and assault them for just existing in a place, and are an extreme body violation.

New studies show that men experience rape and domestic violence at roughly the equivilant rate as women, but reporting is obscenely low due to social pressures and rigid gendering of victim vs abuser policies. The demographic with the highest rate of murder victims is black men.

Single, childless adult men are not allowed to immigrate to multiple countries, including the US, on refugee status. Men of marginalized races- largely latine and asian- are trafficked by largescale construction companies and then deported or abandoned when no longer needed.

Disabled men are killed or abandoned regularly by their able-bodied partners who got tired of dealing with them.

I know more than one man who feels trapped into a place where he cannot, ever, show any emotion besides horny, hungry, or angry as a direct result of strict gender roles being pushed on him. I know more than one man who has tried to take his own life because of it.

I know more than one man who has succeeded.

And I gotta be honest the further I get in transition and the more I pass the more I think that being a man... also kinda sucks. Like it sucked when I was a woman. Doesn't really feel like it sucks less as a man. Seems to me like society treats both of these pretty poorly and I was told the grass was way greener on this side and it's, uh, not. Not really. Not when you start making cis male friends and start realizing that a lot of these guys had a lot of the same experiences you grew up being told was part of a woman's life.

And I'm not saying that these guys don't have interactions where life is better for them because they're men. Of course they do. That's patriarchy for you. But I do think it's difficult to have a "male privilege" argument when people try to argue on a 1-to-1 basis and it just straight up doesn't work like that.

And I know a lot of what I'm saying ties back to the theory of intersectionality, that this can't flatten nuance like this is directly tied to the fact that a white woman, a native woman, an asian woman, a black man, a latino man, and an arabic man, are all going to have WILDLY different experiences that you can't just "well you're [gender] so you don't experience [harm]" about because it's blatantly untrue. Especially if you continue to add marginalizations, like immigration status, religion, sexuality, transition, language, and more.

[rosietaeyongswife]

maps | jjh

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, secret agent jaehyun x reader synopsis: Your husband was killed year ago by an unknown man. The griev and unsolved case kept you at night. After meeting your late husband's unfamiliar friend, you found new mission in your life. Find out who killed your husband Jaehyun. wc: 7.5k tw: cursing, blood, death, suggestive themes, guns, misscariage, grammar mistakes etc. au: it's been a long time lol there are still mistakes for sure, but i think i got better? at least i'm trying. hope you enjoy this. as always, i made it with jaehyun, because he literally fits every role??? peace yo

"It's been a year, move on." Your father sat down with a cup of tea in his left hand. "I love you, you're my daughter and I'm aware you loved him deeply. We all are. I mean, you can't ruin your life, because your husband got killed. I'm not saying you should forget him, I'm saying you should move on, Y/N. Please."

Seems like it's about 100th time your father brings the topic. Not even mentioning other people in your life. They could never understand the pain you feel. They could never understand how does it feel to lose person you've loved for so many years.

"How am I supposed to move on, dad? Tell me, how? I can't sleep at night, I have to go to therapy and take these pills that makes me weak as a bitch, and I don't even have an energy to talk with you, yet you're here telling me to move on?" Telling him all that felt relieving. Made you feel lighter. "You don't have any idea how it is. None of you! I don't want to see you or mom, coming here and acting as if y'all are my therapist."

"We're trying to help you, you're our daughter. We mean only the best for you, okay? Honey, you can't freeze in time and griev your whole life. Jaehyun wouldn't want that."

"Don't speak about it. You didn't even know him. Leave it, please."

Jaehyun was married to you for almost four years, and these were the best years of your life. You met at high school, then started dating at your senior year at college, and get married two years later. The job he had made your life harder. He was working for Korean Secret Forces, as an agent. High rank, excellent skills and results.

He was supposed to be go on a trip to Japan, when he got shot and killed. No one knows why, nor how did it happened.

"Y/N, you have still a lot to live. Being mean towards us won't change a thing. I'm leaving, if you need something, call us."

Cementary felt like your second home. A year ago, you used to come here everyday for two months, then lesser and now you're doing it once a week. Always brining candles or flowers with you. Your husband deserves to never be forgotten.

Crossing path, you spotted a man sitting by your husband's grave. Walking slowly to see who is it, you saw a face you've never seen before.

"Mind asking, who you are?"

Man turned around, and looked into your eyes. He was about 10cm highter than you, and had white, medium lenght hair. His gaze was strong, and gave you chills.

"You're his wife, right?" You nodded. "Jaehyun was a great man. I've never had a chance to meet you, and talk because of work, but I used to work with your husband. We were pretty close, I guess." He seems to be saying the truth, but you were bit taken aback. You knew majority of Jaehyun friends, but not him. "Jaehyun probably never mentioned my name, I am Yuta."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Y/N." You two shake your hands. "Is there a reason why he didn't meniton you?"

"Listen Y/N, I can't tell you much-"

"He was killed by Secret Forces, wasn't he? It wasn't an accident." You claimed while blankly staring at Yuta.

"How-"

"Jaehyun was too good for a rookie mistake, I'm sure he would dodge the bullet. Answer me honestly."

Yuta sighed. People way above him, or Jaehyun, made an awesome narrative. Most skilled and talented man of Secret Forces got shot by unknown man on his off duty. Unbeliveable lie.

"It for sure wasn't an accident. As I said, I can't tell you much. But I want you to be careful, it's dangerous. Jaehyun found something and it got him killed. I don't want you to die or to suffer, because of that. I promised Jaehyun to keep an eye on you."

Your heart almost stopped, and your vission was blurry. Of course, you had some theories on why did Jaehyun die, but mostly it was his postion in work. Many would kill for his job, and it'd be good reason to kill him. But now, as you're aware it wasn't it, you felt sick.

"What are you talking about? What did he find?"

"I can't tell you, because I'm not aware of everything. I'd suggest for you to not dig into it. Live your life, and don't look for anything, Y/N."

"My husband was killed, because he found something. He was killed, while we have expected the baby! He left me alone, hearbroken and lonely. Don't you think, I deserve at least the reason?"

"Baby? You're mother?"

Yuta was surprised, because he has been following you for months, since Jaehyun knew he was in trouble, yet he had never seen you with a child.

"I had a misscariage. It was thrid month, when Jaehyun died. Due to stress and everything, my body gave up. Awful times." You tried to laugh, but you failed. "I don't want to complain about my life, there's no point. I want the truth."

"Just leave it. Jaehyun died because of your co-called 'truth', so you better move on. Forget about me, and forget we met." Yuta made his way out of the grave, but he turned quickly. "I'm sorry for your loss. About Jaehyun, and your baby. Good luck, Y/N."

The first thing that came to your mind to call Jungwoo and Johnny to meet. Two of them were best buddies with Jaehyun, they had to know something. You demand answers.

"Do any of you know Yuta?"

Jungwoo and Johnny looked at each other, which was obvious for you - they do.

"Why you're asking?" Jungwoo chuckled. "I thought we were supposed to hang out and talk shit."

"I met him today. At cementary, at Jaehyun's grave to be exact." Johnny chocked on his saliva. "Why I had no clue about him?"

"What did he say?"

"Johnny, don't fuckin do it. Answer me, you two, now. I've been gaslighted for a year. Is it some joke to you? To play dumb around me?"

"Relax, it's not that deep."

"Answers."

"Yuta was working with Jaehyun for few months." Jungwoo stated as he was taking a sip of his beer. "He's japanese member of the crew. Yuta Nakamoto was working with Jaehyun on some project, extra secretive thing. We don't know what were they doing, though."

"So, what did he say?"

"Jaehyun found something that got him killed. I told y'all it wasn't an accident. I've known it was a murder. I knew."

"Y/N, you can't just believe in every word he says. We don't know him well, he migh've been lyin-"

"I believe him. Please." You rolled your eyes. "My husband wasn't some kind of a rookie, nope. He was the captain of his crew, soon to be officer. How couldn't he dodge the bullet? In the daylight? And the suspect have never been found. Sounds weird to me."

"There was an open investigation, and we were working hard-"

"Don't bullshit me, right now."

"Even if it's true, stay out of this. It's clearly something he wasn't supposed to know, and look. He's six feet under, now, sniffing the flowers from the other side." Johnny said firmly. The tone was suspicious, and you realize he was nervous. "Can we change the subject?"

Agony. You got rid of agony. In your life there's a new mission. To find the truth. You won't rest easy until you get to know what happened. Why did your husband had to die.

The lock of the attic opened. After Jaehyun's death, police came and took some of his personal stuff. You didn't give them everything, though. There must be something in his stuff.

After an hour, you didn't find much. Some rapports, evidence on minor crimes, suspects, scratches of something, to-do lists, and notes he used to make for you. As when you were about to give up, you found small piece of paper with a phone number on.

"What?" Male voice came from the other side. A bit cold, you'd say. "Who are you?"

"Hey, I am Y/N. Jung Y/N." Silence. "Jaehyun's wife."

"How did you get my phone number?"

"I found it. May I ask, who are you?"

"No, you're not going to ask me questions." Cold tone made you annoyed. "Jaehyun is dead, and here you are calling me. Why?"

"I know Jaehyun got murdered by his company. Please, I need to find the truth. I was looking for clues in his stuff, so I came across this phone number. I need help."

"I can't help you. I-"

"Please. I'll do everything."

Short silence made you believe, he's about to hang up.

"Meet me at 10. I'll send you adress. Alone." He sighed. "If you're from police, you're dead. See ya."

The adress seems sketchy as fuck, but you had to risk it. You felt like throwing up, because of the stress and everything that's about to happen. You were working as a private math teacher, not as a detective.

Area you're in, was abandomen long ago. There were only empty and destroyed buildings around, and not a sound of life around. Suddenly, you felt hands around you and on your mouth. Someone grab you, and took you in one of the building.

In front of you, were two men. One, black hair and bunny-like face, and the other one looked like a character straight from the anime.

"Are you a plug? Police? FBI? CIA? Secret Forces? SWAT?" You remember the voice, it's a guy who you've spoken to this morning. The guy with a black hair. "Answer us, now."

"No? The fuck! I told you, I'm Jaehyun's wife. I swear to God, I'm working as a private math teacher. I have no connection to police, besides my late husband."

"Taeyoung, check her ID."

They took your documents, and in fact, you wasn't lying.

"She's not lying. She's really Jaehyun's wife."

"Fuck." The other male sighed. "I told him to burn my phone number, dumb fucker. Why did you call? What do you want?"

"I want to know what happened to Jaehyun. I met Yuta today, I guess you must know him." They nodded. "I don't know if you're from Secret Forces, but you knew Jaehyun. The note wasn't in his offical case, why? Who are you?"

"I'm Kim Doyoung. I'm a hacker, and old friend of Jaehyun. We got few classes together back in college."

"And you?"

"Lee Taeyong. I'm his best friend, roommate and I used to be Jaehyun's plug."

"Jaehyun had a plug? Why? What?"

"I see you're confused." Doyoung softened. "Yuta must told you to stay out of this case, right? Why don't you listen? You need adrenaline? If yes, go to Bunjee jump. You want to get yourself killed?"

The way him, Taeyong and Yuta were so secretive made your blood boil. Also, the fact you had no idea Jaehyun knew them was even more annoying.

"If your wife got killed, wouldn't she want to know what happened? I demand answers. They can't get away with killing an innocent person."

"As if it was that easy." Taeyong sat down with a gun in his hand.

"You want answers?" You nodded. "Alright. But I don't guarante, you're going to be safe later. I can't promise that." You agreed without a word. "Jaehyun was a right man. He had his morals, and let's say, he didn't agree with few things with his boss and other assholes."

"He was in China, right?" Taeyong asked. "It all started there. During his stay there, and mission an innocent men got killed. He was chinese-korean, living with his wife and two kids. Provider of the family, and taxi driver. Jaehyun got told, he was super dangerous killer who killed around 10 korean soldiers in X Zone. The mission was easy. Get rid of the target."

"So he did. He and his people, including Jungwoo and Johnny. They had no idea, he was completly innocent guy. He was just a taxi driver, who wouldn't hurt a fly. The above wanted to get rid of him to show chinese mob, they don't care. Jaehyun got to know by accident, because he overheard his boss talking about it."

"It turned out, they killed more innocent people. He found corruption, and more evidence on illegal cases in the company. Doyoung hacked the system, and I asked the right people." Your brain was trying to process what they were saying. "There was a case of files tittled with his last name. They planned to get rid of evidence, and frame Jaehyun to become a hitman. Cruel killer, who killed innocent guys."

"What?"

"Jaehyun told them to turn themselfs in. To go to a trial court. Before he even told them, someone snitched on him. We don't know who, but they knew. The above ordered to kill him as soon as possible. I believe it must've been someone from his team. They can't be trusted, Y/N." Doyoung sighed. "Not even Jungwoo, or Johnny. We have no idea how much they know."

Your world was spinning around, and many more questions come with it. It felt as if your life got ruined in seconds. Your husband was always someone, who people looked up to. He hated discrimination, and lack of justice. He knew too much.

"But Yuta is alive."

"Jaehyun never mentioned Yuta. We're sure, they tortured him before getting on that street and shooting him. Someone was supposed to tell the truth, but Yuta can't be another one killed."

"Jungwoo and Johnny, they know?"

"They have to know." Taeyong said with a smile. "Think. They were close, if they didn't then Jaehyun wouldn't trust them. Who knows. Maybe they killed him."

There's no way. Jungwoo and Johnny were best friends with Jaehyun for years. They could never hurt him, not saying about killing him. They weren't capable, were they?

"I need to find the killer, and the evidence. I'll end what Jaehyun has started. I don't care, I have nothing to lose." You stood up, still overwhelmed by all the informations. "Even if it means, I'm going to die. Jaehyun didn't deserve to die."

"Y/N, it's danegrous. You can't put yourself into danger, because of grief and rage. Think about it. You can still get your life together-"

"No. I need to do it for him. And I need your help."

That night, you couldn't sleep. All you was thinking about was your hsuband and guys he was working with. There is no turning back now, you're going to get your revenge. No matter what. But the only thing couldn't let go. Yuta was keeping an eye on you for months, and yes, you had theory someone was following you, or stalking. Few times, you've spotted a shadow in your house. Some car passing your house three times a day. But you could swear to God, the shadow or sillhouete you've spotted was taller than Yuta. Yuta was about 5'10, while the person you saw so many times was for sure taller. Could Jaehyun sent someone else too?

After you left, Doyoung and Taeyong looked at each other sending signal.

"Y/N found us." Doyoung was gripping his phone hard, while waiting until the other person say something. "She called me earlier today. I am sure, she's going to find the killer."

"Don't let her. Keep her safe, Doyoung."

"It's too late now."

"Understood."

Taeyoung looked at his friend stressed. They nodded at each other, and went to their places waiting for next things coming.

"I'm so happy, you're moving on!" Your mother hugged you. "Are you sure about moving out part? It's your house, after all."

"Living here reminds me of Jaehyun too much. I found nice apartament in the centre of city, and I'm going to live closer to the company. Only prons."

"Jungwoo is picking you up?"

"He's already there." Your friend honked. "I gotta go. Let's go. I'm starting new chapter."

"We're proud of you." Your dad kissed your cheek. "Call us when you're in your new place. We're happy for you."

Drive to your new place was really comfortable, Jungwoo was cracking jokes all the time and he was expressing how happy he was for you.

"By the way, thank you. I really appreciate you recommended me for the company and you're driving me to my new place."

"Please, don't. It's just a pleasure to help you, Y/N. I am here for you anytime." He smiled at you. "You know, we are buddies now."

"Yes, dude."

"You sound like Mark now."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"Duh. He overuse 'dude'. Don't be like Mark."

Jungwoo wasn't right. Dude is literally Mark. Mark is dude. There's no Mark Lee without a 'dude' every few seconds. Almost like a comma.

After a month of working in Secret Forces as analyst, you were secured in your spot. No one suspected you of anything. Not many knew you were widow and Jaehyun's wife. Only the above knew, and Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark. You were lowkey about your business, and never mentioned anything harmful to you.

"We're going to hang out and drink sojuu, you're coming?" Mark asked with sparkling eyes. "Please, you always decline. Only me, Johnny, Jungwoo and Taeil. He went to the same University as you, I believe."

"Mark, I have a work to do. I need to do research, and write a raport."

"And you have a weekend for that. Just this once. We're not that bad, after all. Boys wants you to come. C'mon."

"Bet."

Mark left happy, because after 5th time asking, you agreed. By the time he was gone, you could check your other phone. You saw notification popping up on your homescreen.

dy: i need u to go and find login to y'all system dy: asap dy: don't get caught tho

Every single worker have own login, but login of people with high ranks are different each. With a sigh, you left your office and went towards the lift. You waved to few people, you got to know, and went to 14th floor. There must be the office of your boss.

There was no one in sight, so you just went in carefully. He was gettin his daily coffee on 4th floor with his friends, so he won't be there any time soon. You knew there were cameras, but Doyoung took care of that long time ago.

"Fuck. Where's the damn laptop."

As far as you know, they don't use their logins on official PC's, but have their own laptops with a base of every file possible.

Finally, you spotted black laptop on the pile of books in the corner. Looking around, you put USB cable in laptop. Thanks to that, Doyoung can hack everything from the laptop.

dy: i need 2 minutes dy: ok take the cable off, and meet me in your smoking spot behind the building

"I'm going out with boys tonight. After the work. In an hour."

"Be careful, though. Remember, we don't know how much do they know."

"They were best friends with Jaehyun. They couldn't be harmful."

"Maybe you're right, but there's no harm in being careful." He sighed. "I'll check everything, and tell you what we found. For now, be sure no one saw you."

The restaurant was really comfy, and have it's vibe. You felt as you were a kid again with your parents on Sunday's dinner. Nostalgic place.

"The owner is my uncle." Taeil laughed. "He opened the restaurant like 5 years ago? It's one of the best, I swear to God."

"Your uncle?" You were in disbelief. "The food is amazing. I love their dumplings."

"My uncle is the same person as Gordon Ramsey."

"Maybe let's not go there." Johnny cut off laughing. "You're lying."

"Ya, do you doubt me!"

"Gentlemen, stop."

The conversation went smoothly. You got to know, Taeil was your senior while you were freshman in the University.

"I remember the time we were training, and we were supposed to get all 10s with shooting, but Jungwoo missed every single one."

"Ya, really! I got 6, it's not bad."

"You're classified as blind, Woo. Don't you know?" Taeil laughed with Johnny. "He's really fit, but the guns and him aren't good couple."

"I have hidden talent with guns."

"And it stays hidden, Jungwoo." Johnny rolled his eyes. "And you Y/N? Have you ever held a gun?"

"Not really. I am clueless about all the weapons. Even knives. The only knife I've ever came across, was the one to peel the apples. Really."

"Then why did you join us? I mean, our job is almost like American CIA or FBI. I know your analyst, but why here?"

Taeil asked you question, and you froze for a minute. Jungwoo noticed your confused expression, and get you out of the awkward situation.

"Discrimination? Just because she wasn't trained like us means, she can't work with us? Ya, Moon Taeil, I thought you wasn't a jerk."

All of you were laughing, and you were thankful for him saving you.

"No! Sorry, I just-"

"I was bored. Math teacher isn't exciting, right? I found there was a need for analyst, so I applied. I need adrenaline in my life."

"Don't we all?" Mark sighed. "But our job is kinda boring. We don't do much nowadays."

"And nice. We should rest." Johnny took a sip of sojuu. "Let's drink and have a blast before coming back to that shithole in two days."

Two hours passed, and you were ready to come back home. Boys seems to have fun, and they planned to go Taeil's place to have more sojuu and watch movies.

"I really gotta go. I had fun, and I really like you, but it's getting darker." You claimed, while taking your coat on. "Bye."

They waved you goodbye, but Mark stopped you.

"Wait! Jungwoo is totally wasted, and he's asking if you could drive him home. I mean, you're the only one who wasn't drinking." He held his neck. "If no, then we can call the cab."

"No need for that." You smiled. "I'll get his drunk ass and get him to his place. Where's he?"

Jungwoo was sitting on the passenger seat, and he was white as ghost.

"Woo, are you alright?"

"I think Imma throw up." The mumble wasn't clear, and it took you a second to understand.

"Shit, wait. We're going to my place, it's closer. You look like you're about to pass out. You can stay the night."

"Can I?"

"Oh, shut up."

Taking Jungwoo into your place wasn't an easy task. He was 6ft, and his ass wouldn't hurry up, which made you go to the door for about 10 minutes.

"Here, sit down and drink some water." You passed him the glass. "Are you going to throw up?"

"I am not sure."

"Sit there, I'll take a shower. If you need to throw up, there's a bowl under the sink."

Jungwoo saluted, and you chuckled. You must admit, he was kinda cute. You slapped yourself mentally for that thought. You can't think about him in that way, after all he's your dead husband friend.

You came back to Jungwoo laying on the couch with his eyes closed, thinking he was sleeping, you was walking on your tippy toes.

"I'm not sleeping, Y/N. Can you come here?" He opened his arm. "C'mon. Please. I am so drunk, I can't. I need a hug."

"Jungwoo, I don't think-"

"Just lay down, and relax. I'm not going to touch you, c'mon."

Jungwoo made space for you. Being this close to him, made you nervous. It's been a while since you was this close to a man.

"Why aren't you sleeping, dumbass? You look like a ghost.

"Ah, really. I still have a time. You know what, I really respect you, Y/N. I admire how strong you are, and how smart you are. Really. I'm always surprised because of you."

"Jungwoo, don't sugarcoat me." You chuckled. "You're drunk."

"I mean it. I really, really mean it. I'm happy you're moving on with your life. Jaehyun was lucky to have you, you know. I've been jealous of him." You chuckled, because drunk Jungwoo was funny and he wasn't aware of his words. "Don't laugh. We all were jealous of you two."

"Woo, please. There's other couples like that. It's a past. I need to move on, and I did, to be honest. I'm not thinking about Jaehyun that much." There was a bit of truth in that. You couldn't tell others about your plan, so it was better to make them think you really moved on, but at the other hand. You missed being loved. "I think I should date again."

"Ya, that's what I'm saying!" He said confidently with a pout. "I agree. But Y/N. I really like you. We've been hanging out a lot past weeks, and I really like you. I found you pretty and I'd like to kiss you."

Before you could answer, surprised with his confession he was long asleep on his back. Your heart skipped a beat, because you had no clue someone have a crush on you. Someone like Kim Jungwoo. You knew Jaehyun would like you to date one of his friends, instead of complete stranger.

"If I ever pass away, please. Y/N date either Johnny or Jungwoo." He was caressing your cheek. "I know they would take great care of you. I trust them. If you'd date a stranger, they know to kill him, you know."

"Jaehyun don't even say that. Only person I'm going to date is you. Don't talk about your dead, you're not going to die."

"You never know. In this line of work, you gotta be ready for everything. I told them the same thing. Personally, I'd took Jungwoo. He isn't going to work the same job as long as he thought."

"Honey, you're my husband talking about dating your best friend. Let's not."

He chuckled and kissed you. Little did you know, Jaehyun was aware he didn't have much left to live.

"I like you too." You whispered, and fall asleep.

'I left to work. Sorry for the trouble! I don't even remember how did I end up at your place! Not mentioning, sleeping next to you. LOL. I was wasted as fuck. Sorry again! I made you breakfast, hope you like scrambled eggs with kimchi and toast. See ya at work! Jungwoo~'

Smile crept on your face, because it was lovely. It's been a long time since someone made you breakfast. You shook your head, and reminded yourself to not get distracted.

"I found something interesting." Doyoung said while eating cookies, Taeyoung bought. "Look."

He passed you his laptop, and there was files named after Jaehyun and they were marked as top secret. You opened them, and there were synopsis of him and his life. You were also mentioned there as his wife, but not much.

"What's interesting in there?"

"Look at the date of his death. 12th February. He was killed five days later. We have a direct evidence his death was planned."

"I knew it. Who else can open these?"

"Not many. Bosses and officers. There's many suspects, Y/N. I saw someone deleted some files, and I tried to recover them. I'm not sure if it's possible."

"Do your best, please. I am sure, Johnny and Jungwoo don't know exactly what happened with Jaehyun."

"How?"

You could tell he wasn't convinced.

"I just know. They must been suspicious of Yuta, that's why they were nervous."

"Remember, you can't be sure of anything."

"I know them longer than I do you. I can tell when something is off."

"Don't let your feelings take control of you."

"I don't."

Taeyong laughed.

"You're not as trained as we are. No one can be trusted. We're partners, we can trust each other, but them? I'm not sure."

"I shouldn't trust you, since I don't know you. But guess what. I'm doing my best, so please. Shut up." You got up. "I'm going to the company. If you have something, let me know."

As soon as you left, Doyoung called.

"Yuta, keep an eye on her in the company. Especially on Jaehyun's buddies."

"Fuck. I told you to get this idea out of her mind."

"Was I supposed to let her do it on her own, and get her killed? Jaehyun wouldn't be happy."

"She's getting too comfortable. We can't let her know everything, Doyoung. You deleted the files?"

"I did. I sent them."

"Good. Bye."

Kim Doyoung told you, he wasn't able to find the deleted files. You couldn't blame him for his failed mission, since he was doing already a lot. At the other hand, you tried asking people. Mentioning Jaehyun, but no a single soul had any idea about him, or his death.

Boys and you hang out again. This time, you got drunk. You didn't have to do much for work, since you got everything done before deadline. Jungwoo drive you home.

"Ah, Y/N. You're cute when you're drunk."

"I feel sarcasm, idiot."

"It's not." He laughed. "You look pretty. Here we are." He parked in front of your building. "Dummy."

"Kiss me then."

"What?"

"You said I'm pretty. Kiss me or you're lying."

You were way too drunk to care, or to be aware of your words.

"You're drunk-"

"Do it."

Jungwoo was looking into your eyes, the next second his hands cuped your cheeks and he was kissing you. The kiss lasted for few seconds, and it got you warmed up.

"Y/N-"

"Wanna come in?"

On your way to your place, both of you were kissing, not giving a damn about people passing you. It felt as if you two were waiting for this moment to come for the longest time ever. As you were kissing Jungwoo, you couldn't put the key in.

"Let me do it."

Next thing you remember, was the two of you undressing in your bedroom. Jungwoo didn't break the kiss, when he was getting your clothes off.

"I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time." He whined. "You really turn me the fuck on."

"Kim Jungwoo, just fuck me."

Both of you, too busy with each other, failed to notice tall silhouete standing in the dark corner of your place watching you. The man clenched his fists hard, feeling his blood boil. Jaehyun was watching his best friend fuckin his wife. He wanted to get out the shadow, and kill Jungwoo for it. He wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't. Officialy, he's dead.

"I'll kill him." He whispered, and left as quiet as he entered.

Jung Jaehyun is very alive, and healthy.

Past days were peacful and relaxed, something you couldn't feel for a while. Jungwoo and you weren't dating yet. You wanted to take things slow, because at the back of your head, you could see Jaehyun.

Peace was broken, when Yuta paid you a visit.

"Listen, I don't care what you're doing with who, but I can't agree for you to lose your mind over someone." He sighed. "There's no one you can trust, especially Jaehyun's ex friends."

"The only person I shouldn't trust is you, Yuta. I don't know you at all, Doyoung and Taeyong don't talk about you, nor Jaehyun did. It's logical for me to trust them, not you."

Yuta felt as he was talking to a child. You were stubborn, way too much for Yuta's liking. His Japanese temper was getting real bad with you. He felt hopeless, because no matter how many times, he's telling you to stay away from Jaehyun ex co-workers, you don't listen.

"How do you know they didn't get their hands dirty with Jaehyun? What if they're involved but you don't know? You don't know them, Y/N. You have this pov of them as your husband's co-workers, not as actual people."

"Wait." You paused. "Don't you and boys know somethind I don't? Doyoung also told me to stay away from them. Why?"

"You know I don't." His body tensed up. "For some reason, as you claim, your husband didn't tell anything to them. I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. "It was dangerous, but they were friends for years, Y/N, years. Not even a word?"

Doyoung was walking down the woods, hidden from the city. Not many people visited the woods, because they weren't fameous as other one.

"You're alone?" Doyoung nodded as he entered small house. "What's up."

"You're not going to do anything with Jungwoo? He's fuckin your wife, Jaehyun. It's so painfully obvious. She likes him."

Jaehyun clenched his jaw.

"Not now. I can't just kill him out of the blue. For now, it's alright as long as he's not putting her in danger. I sent Yuta to talk to her, but she's not interested in his advice."

"Y/N is independant. I mean, she left the theraphy long ago, and her main goal is to find your killer."

"Only if she knew what really happened."

"Are you going to reveal yourself?"

"No. It's better if I'm away from her."

Finding a killer of your late husband was draining. Jungwoo didn't have a clue what you're up to. He found you looking through multiple files at night, but he never dared to ask what's that.

Taeyong tried his best at finding answers to your questions, but there were none. He felt like giving up, together with Doyoung. It was complicated to find people, who know something. It was like a never ending task.

"Jaehyun body was never found. I think I'd cry out of happines if he would be alive somehow." You admited to Doyoung, who was sipping on his coffee. "Sometimes I feel like he's still with me. His presence."

"Even after dating Jungwoo?"

"Yes. I can't explain that feeling, but he's there. His ghost, at least."

Doyoung made a mental note to inform Jaehyun to keep it lowkey, since you probably could tell something is off. Maybe Jaehyun wasn't doing great job with following you? It could ruin a lot.

"Ghosts aren't real. You miss him, so your imagination makes you feel like he's here. Simple."

"Yes, I know. Still, I'd like to hang out with him for the last time. Do you know what's last thing we did?"

"Tell us." Yuta said, and you rolled your eyes at him. "I'm just asking, I swear to God."

"We had a fight. Cliche, yes. We had a fight about him not being at home much, because of work. I even thought he was cheating on me, because none of his friends spent so much time at the company as he did." You chuckled. "Then I realized how stupid it sounds, and I apologized. The next morning we were supposed to go to our favorite cafe, but as y'all know. He vanished and got shot."

"Were you supposed to tell him about pregnancy?"

"Of course. I planned to talk with him at our favorite place, and let him know he's about to become a father."

"Life's a bitch."

"Exactly. But for you it's past. Paniful past, but past. Now you're living new life, maybe you really should give up on finding Jaehyun's killer."

And maybe Yuta was right.

"I think I should. I have no clues, and no one knows anything. I am tired. One day I will know the truth, but not now."

"Facts. You have Jungwoo, right? You're in love and-"

"I am not." You cut Doyoung off. "I like him, and he's my boyfriend, but I can't say I'm in love with him. It's far from that."

"Understood, miss."

Your apartament was empty when you come. Jungwoo would hang out with you after work, but today he had to leave to Busan with Johnny. As you were walking around, you heard noise. The first thing you did, was to run for a knife.

"I'll kill you, if you step any further." You hissed.

To your surprise, Taeyong came out of shadow. He was wearing all black, and had a sad smile on his face.

"Easy. I'm not here to kill you, Y/N. I'm leaving Korea tonight." He got the knife out of your hand, and put it down on the counter. "I'm here to tell you what I know."

"What's going on? Did something happened? Someone's after you?"

"Not yet." He sighed. "I got the informations from secret documents, that Doyoung blocked. I don't know why, probably for you to feel safer. I recovered them, and I found something disturbing. The messages from a week ago. The man who killed Jaehyun is about to kill you."

Your vision became blurry, and you felt your throat tightening, making it hard to breathe.

"Do you know who sent them?"

"I don't. They were between two people, they're anonymous. No one can know, but one of them is going to try to kill you anytime soon. Probably this week. Please, stay safe. Be ready for anything, buy a gun, whatever. You can't trust no one, Y/N. I gotta go. It'd be better for you to have security or don't leave your place at night. Don't stay alone, okay?"

"Taeyong, why-"

"I have to, Y/N. I could be in trouble for warning you, plus I don't want Doyoung to get hurt. I'll get in touch as soon as possible, but for now." He turned around. "Lock the door, and find a weapon."

You did as Taeyong said. No one knew about the plan of killing you. No one can be trusted, especially after what Taeyong told you. Not even Jungwoo knew, besides the fact he was sleeping next to you every night. He was keeping you close, but it wasn't enough. You felt scared.

Past days, you didn't notice anyone following you. Mark, and Taeil would drop you off from work since you told them your car is gettin repaired, even though it wasn't true. Yuta and Doyoung didn't sense your odd behaviour. They thought you have tough days with work, since you told them you're giving up at finding Jaehyun's killer. Well, seems like he found you.

"Y/N, dinner's ready." Jungwoo smiled at you warmly. "I made your favorite, and bought wine on my way home. Is that fine?"

"Jungwoo, you didn't have to do all of this. I am thankfull, I appreciate that. You're the best."

"Today is special day. I want us to have the best dinner, and most magical time ever."

"Why?" You chuckled surprised. "Did something happend?"

"No reason, just 7th sense."

Odd. Jungwoo was really happy today, as if something happened. You thought maybe it was because of a promotion, since he was about to level up at the Secret Forces.

"Oh, I think someone is calling me." Doyoung's name popped up on your screen, but Jungwoo was quick to take your phone out of your hands. "Jungwoo."

"Please. Tonight is about us, not about your friends. It's probably not that important anywas. Can we move on?"

Jungwoo was right. Doyoung was calling you pretty often, and you had no idea why. Sometimes he was asking about you, or sometimes he was bragging about some bullshit you had no interest in.

As you were sitting on your bed, you felt kind of dizzy. Your head was spinning, and Jungwoo's voice was hard to hear. You tried to stand up, but you couldn't.

"Jungwoo, what's going on?"

"What do you mean? Nothing."

"I feel-"

You got cut off by sudden banging on the door. Before you process what happened, there was a tall man in your bedroom. Both you and Jungwoo couldn't believe your own eyes.

"Ya, really." Jungwoo hissed. "You're fuckin kidding me, right."

"You wish, motherfucker." Jaehyun's voice made you weak. He was there. Alive. "Leave her, the fuck, alone."

"I thought I killed you, didn't I?" Jungwoo was cocky, and you were shocked. Kim Jungwoo? Your cute Kim Jungwoo, who doesn't even know how to hold a gun was Jaehyun's killer? And Jaehyun's alive? "You're tough cookie, Jaehyun."

"It's not that easy to get rid of me. Now, leave my wife alone and step back before I'll slit your throat open."

"Wow, easy there, superman. I thought you were dead, but turnes out I missed? Fuck. I'll try better now."

"What is going on?" You asked still dizzy. "Jaehyun, you're alive. What happened? Please, tell me." Your eyes got wattery.

"Y/N, I need you to leave the bedroom. Leave the place, and call Doyoung and Yuta. Now."

"Nope, please."

Before you could do anything else, Jungwoo was coming at you with a knife, but Jaehyun pushed you away. You were on all four, creeping out of the bedroom. Seems like Jungwoo gave something in your drink or food. You lost balance, and you were laying down on the floor in the kitchen. Only banging, and grunts were heard from your bedroom. You were losing conciousness, while trying hard to not and to hear what's going on.

"Your wife is good in bed, huh. You have no clue how satisfied I was, knowing I was fuckin what belonged to you, Jaehyun." Jungwoo spitted blood out of his mouth. "I felt glory."

"You sick fucker." He punched his enemy in the face. "Don't mention my wife again. You fucked up our life. I thought you were my best friend. You're a traitor, Jungwoo and you'll pay for it."

"I don't think anyone would believe you." Jungwoo smirked.

"Doyoung have everything on you. Yuta too. They did nothing, because you picked to get close to Y/N. She couldn't know what happened. Not then."

"I knew I should've killed her sooner."

Without any word, Jaehyun got his gun and shot Jungwoo in his head. Bullet went through his brain, making a mess in your bedroom. Jungwoo's liveless body dropped on the floor, on the pool of blood.

You opened your eyes, and closed them right after. It was too light for you, and it was painful. You tried the second time, and you could feel shift on the surface you were on.

"Y/N? Oh, thank God you woke up." Jaehyun took your hand in his, and you felt overwhelmed with emotions. Your husband. Your true love was alive. "I am so sorry for everything, darling. I fucked up, but I am here again. This time forever."

"You're alive. Why did you do it to me? Why did you leave me and didn't come back?" You were crying, while Jaehyun was holding his tears in. "I was waiting for you to come back. Deep down I wasn't done with the fact you're dead. You have no idea what you put me through."

"I did it all to keep you safe. I couldn't risk your life, because of me, Y/N. I couldn't lose you, that's why. I was keeping an eye on you from afar. Doyoung, Taeyong and Yuta helped me. They tried to keep you away from Jungwoo."

"Jungwoo." You whispered. "Is he dead?" He nodded. "You killed him."

"I mean, he tried to kill me first. He was involved in case with taxi driver, and corruption. He was money laundering with our boss, and got big check for 'killing' me. Thankfully, he missed my heart by inches. Doyoung helped me."

"You could've told me. At least warn me. I missed you so much for past year. I thought I'm going to die, because of your loss. Do you have any idea how it is?"

"I don't and I'm sorry. I know your life was turned upside down, but I love you. I always been and I always will. Now, I'll gotta do my best for world to see what happened. I have proof of every illegal thing they've done."

You nodded, and tried to stop sobbing.

"Why didn't you kill Jungwoo back then?"

"Because they said, they're watching you. Before they tried to kill me, they blackmailed me. They had soldiers stalking you, and told me if something goes wrong, you're dead. Then everything is history. Listen, I love you too much. I had to do it for us." He kissed your hand. "I am sorry about pregnancy, I had no idea you were pregnant. Maybe if I knew, I'd stop and-"

"Jaehyun, no." You cut him off mid sentence. "No. It's not our fault. Shit happenes. I got over it a year ago. It's our past. Now I understand your motives. I am not mad anymore, but please. Let's move out from here, and let's start new life somewhere else."

"I've always wanted to live in Switzerland."

"Sounds great."

Jaehyun chuckled, and leant in to kiss you. After all the dark times, you could kiss your lover. Jaehyun was finally with you. Maybe there's still a chance for better days.

[thatweirdbitchjax]

I really like Art

Art, little girl and reader having a family outing

So this one is just gonna be some good old wholesome family time, no killing in this one. I believe that I called the young girl Annie in the last one I did for art, so her name will be Annie from here on out until she is given a cannon name. Also, this will probably just be a little drabble for now lol.

Creds to @strangergraphics for the dividers (I keep forgetting to, and I am so sorry)

A Day Out

Art, Annie and Reader don't go out much when they aren't killing or stalking prey. Reader, and Art basically became Annie's parents when they found her, opting to take care of her. Today was the aniversery of the day that Art and Reader found Annie, so Reader decided to take them to the mall, helping them look, kinda, normal so the cops wouldn't get called.

After everyone was dressed and ready, they got in the car, Art driving, and pulled out. Annie was in the back, mimicking the voices of the people on the radio while Reader and Art were in the front seat, Art with one of his hands resting on their thigh, and Reader with a sketchbook in their lap, sketching Art's face. Art tapped your thigh twice, prompting you to look up. A smile grew on Art's face as some cops waves y'all past a wreck, it didn't look like anyone survived. Reader shook their head softly, a small smile growing on their face as they looked back down at their book.

"Take a left up here." They said after looking up at Art to take in more details of his face and noticing the confused look he had.

He looked aver at them and smiled again, nodding and taking a left. Soon enough, we pulled up to the mall and began heading in, Art and Annie holding hands and skipping up towards the doors. Reader looked down at their phone for a few moments, but quickly heard shoes skidding across the ground. They quickly looked up, seeing Art sitting on the ground and Annie falling with him. Reader shook their head and began getting closer, helping Annie first, then Art.

"I told you not to wear those shoes with those pants." Reader said, gesturing to his clown like shoes. He had refused to put any other pair on despite wearing some baggy jeans that were a bit too long for his legs. He mimed giggling and gave a sheepish shrug, allowing you to dust him off.

Reader, Art, and Annie had a wonderful day at the mall. Raiding the food court, causing a bit of mayhem, keeping Annie away from the back of Spencer's. It was an amazing day, and none of them could wait to do it again.

Hope you enjoyed! :)

Tags: @zeroisreallygood

[ozmatippetarius]

I am once again asking you to put some respect on Charles's name. He's bewilderingly under-appreciated as a character despite being really complex and well-developed. I see a crazy number of people say they hate him completely without nuance, for a novel where reading deeply and questioning everything is the entire point. Anyway, here's something you might have missed if you shotgunned the book and then have lived off of fanon ever since until you forgot what was actually in the text.

Charles is almost certainly a CSA victim

A major motif of The Secret History is the extent to which childhood trauma has shaped these characters' current actions. Henry was neglected by his father, so he latches onto Julian now. Francis has a codependent relationship with his addict mother that has obviously shaped his actions with Charles. Richard grew up in an abusive family and finds himself forced into a mediator role now; he grew up in poverty and latches onto the first wealthy group that will accept him.

For some reason a lot of readers seem to think that the twins' issues instead developed totally in a vacuum? That they just spontaneously developed an incestuous relationship in adulthood, for the drama of it?

You all know that would be bad writing, would be awful. But you refuse to examine it any closer. You say "the incest is gross" and decide you're just not going to think any more about it, because it makes you uncomfortable.

So let's see if we can ferret out a better explanation. What are some of the risk behaviors we see from Charles?

Substance Abuse - shouldn't need much of an explanation, I think pretty much everybody picked up on this.

Eating Disorder - seems to have been missed by a lot more people, but a major part of why Charles ended up in the hospital is that he simply stopped eating. When Richard and Francis take him to lunch after getting out, he refuses to eat even when they are begging him. Afterwards, we're told he's subsisting entirely off of peanuts for the rest of the novel.

Sexual Risk Behavior - his relationship with Camilla, clearly.

Trust Issues - his relationship with Richard is dripping with this. He spends the entire second half of the novel begging Richard not to betray him ("You're my friend, aren't you?" "You wouldn't go behind my back, would you?") and at the final showdown, Richard is the person he is most angry with, for breaking that trust.

Revictimization - y'all aren't going to like this, but his relationship with Francis is absolutely this.

What do all these bullets have in common? They're all common long term effects of childhood sexual assault.

Hey, remember that sequence shortly before Bunny is killed where he's antagonizing every member of the group individually by taunting them about their secrets he could expose? For Henry, obviously he's threatening to expose the farmer's death. For Richard, his lies about his wealthy background. For Camilla, her incestuous relationship. For Francis, his homosexuality. So what about Charles- what's he threatening to expose here? He wouldn't randomly leave out one of the group, right? Well, let's roll the clip.

If he treated Henry with deference, it was the rest of us who were forced to bear the wearing, day-to-day brunt of his anger. Most of the time he was simply irritating: for example, in his ill-informed and frequent tirades against the Catholic Church. Bunny’s family was Episcopalian, and my parents, as far as I knew, had no religious affiliation at all; but Henry and Francis and the twins had been reared as Catholics; and though none of them went to church much, Bunny’s ignorant, tireless stream of blasphemies enraged them. With leers and winks he told stories about lapsed nuns, sluttish Catholic girls, pederastic priests (“So then, this Father What’s-His-Name, he said to the altar boy—this kid is nine years old, mind you, he’s in my Cub Scout troop—he says to Tim Mulrooney, ‘Son, would you like to see where me and all the other fathers sleep at night?’ ”). He invented outrageous stories of the perversions of various Popes; informed them of little-known points of Catholic doctrine; raved about Vatican conspiracies, ignoring Henry’s bald refutations and Francis’s muttered asides about social-climbing Protestants. What was worse was when he chose to zero in on one person in particular. With some preternatural craftiness he always knew the right nerve to touch, at exactly the right moment, to wound and outrage most. Charles was good-natured, and slow to anger, but he was sometimes so disturbed by these anti-Catholic diatribes that his very teacup would clatter upon its saucer.

His Catholicism? Charles, the group member most morally affronted by the idea of killing and also the most affectionate towards Bunny, comes around to the idea of murder because Bunny is making fun of his Catholicism, something that hasn't been mentioned before and never will be again? Something that has been consistently shown to bother Francis and Henry more?

Connect the dots, here - Charles isn't triggered to the point of physically shaking because Bunny is making fun of Catholics, something we know that he's been doing for years. He's triggered because Bunny is taunting him with stories about adult men molesting young boys, in front of everybody.

Anyway, this isn't a defense of Charles's treatment of Camilla. Obviously "hurt people hurt people" isn't meant as an excuse or a hand-wave. But it is an explanation. Charles is, like every other character in this novel, a flawed person who does some terrible things with complex motivations, and he deserves the same amount of respect you give the other flawed characters who do terrible things with complex motivations.

[epickiya722]

I don't have a complete opinion about 423 because one, it ain't really out yet. And also, I'm waiting for the whole story to be finished, you never really know what Horikoshi would do.

With that said...

It's wild to me how switched up this fandom is when it comes to Izuku.

Sometimes, y'all hate it when he shows even an ounce of empathy or sympathy for a villain and now that he states that he won't forgive Tomura, keep that name in mind now, it's a problem?

For one, Izuku is still a child. A lot of his decisions are influenced by the adults around him so all the blame can't fully be placed on him.

Second, why forgive Tomura Shigaraki, let alone save him? Tomura Shigaraki was the monster that All For One forged. Tomura Shigaraki was the creation that the LOV knew. Tomura Shigaraki wasn't Tenko Shimura.

That's who needed saving.

Here's the thing, and this is just me, Tomura put to rest meant All For One being put to rest. Tomura getting this end, if it really is the end for him, seemed fitting to me somewhat because how would it be fair for Tenko if the warped version that All For One groomed got to live on?

I noticed that even after the reveal of knowing Tomura's real name, he wasn't really referred to as such. He wasn't referred to as Tenko Shimura.

Izuku is still a child who could only do so much, but in the end All For One did too much damage. Tenko was long gone the moment he killed his family by accident and even when there were chances to save him, AFO got in the way.

The thing is the fandom hates it when Izuku does too much but also hates it when he does so little. With Tomura, it was never going to be enough.

Tomura was just a monster to AFO's Frankenstein. He was just some false image created by AFO's own benefit. Tomura Shigaraki wasn't the real persona Tenko would have been.

I don't blame Izuku for not saving Tomura or forgiving him. Tomura, again, was monster. He did hurt the people Izuku cares about. He did everything AFO wanted him to do. None of those things was something Tenko Shimura wanted to do.

Tomura Shigaraki, with AFO gone, would have survived, he wouldn't have a place in the world. Again, he was created with a purpose to fulfill what AFO wanted. Even if he got the villains by his side, it still wouldn't mean he would be complete. Let alone meant Tenko got to live how he wanted.

For Izuku, this doesn't mean it's an overall victory for him. He will have to go on with this as a failure. He might feel guilt over this because Tenko is the person who should have gotten the happy life. Even saving Tenko, it would take time for him to find a place because his family is gone and with the villains? They only knew Tomura.

That's all I really have to say about this and I don't care who disagrees. I just feel it wouldn't have been right for a figment AFO created to still be around when he would be so lost. This wouldn't have been a total happy ending.

While there is success, failures are also just as important. Izuku's journey as a hero really only started and this is a failure he's going to have to learn from.

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Harry Styles x physicist!reader

summary: The aftermath of the leak is hard on everybody from dr YN YSN's circle, but especially for her. The gossip, magazines, paparazzi, and haters do not help the case.

warnings: hate speech, swearing

part 1 part 2

masterlist

@celesteblack08

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www.thesun.co.uk/the-higgs-professor-drama

Oxford Is Firing The Famous 'Higgs Professor' and Harry Styles' girlfriend Dr YN YSN

Written by John Addams

The infamous and TikTok sensation dr YN YSN, lecturer at Oxford University, is being fired after intimate photos of her and her boyfriend - Harry Styles, saw the light of the day.

Starting at the beginning, the relationship between two became a fact over a year ago, when dr YSN went viral for her explanation of the Higgs mechanism based on Harry Styles' music. As we got to know from their joined street interview by meetcutesnyc on Instagram, the relationship florished after meeting at their mutual friend's (Christopher Nolan) party. Dr YN YSN was the science consultant for the director's latest movie, Oppenheimer, and Harry started in one of the gratest war films, Dunkirk - making it happen.

Everything was going smoothly till the morning of three days ago. YN's iCloud was hacked, revealing personal and intimate information about not only the owner but her boyfriend as well.

'Dean is furious,' says our source. 'He cannot believe that the best lecturer could be this reckless.' After the posed question on whether the decision of firing could be announced any time soon, they said 'its just the matter of time. But it's going to be sooner rather than later. Oxford is going to lose a fair and talented professor, but it is not its fault. Someone was the author of those, let's say, information that was exposed. And it is going to be the payment for that foolishness.'

When will the statement from Oxford dean's office be released? And what stir will it cause? Be always on time with fresh news with us, The Sun.

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harrysmoustache

liked by hArrysbtch, harryupdates and 23 201 others

harrysmoustache Harry and YN couldn't leave a restaurant safely because a bunch of paps and 'fans' showed up at the location. Not only was it physically dangerous, but the things that were spoken towards (mostly) YN were disgusting. Calling her names and ready to fire her from the job on the stop because of the PRIVATE PHOTOS she took with her boyfriend, who someone then ILLIGALY POSTED ONLINE after HACKING HER iCloud. Did y'all forget about TREAT PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS????

view all 5 402 comments

harrysmoustache and don't let me start on that bullshit article that The Sun did... RIDICULOUS

harryupdates After all those years, and all those situation that he went through, I'm still surprised that people can be this cruel to gim and people that he loves

hArrysbtch they hatin' my girl because of being sexy on photos... bastards

hArrysbtch why would they care what she does after Uni hours??? it's none of their business

scienceandharstyles it's heartbreaking to see a person that gives others the world and shares her knowledge and wears her heart on the sleeve being treated like garbage

harrymylove those were no harry fans

stylesbabie monstrosity

user65 why do y'all care for her this much?? jezz...

⤷ hArrysbtch maybe because she's a good human being treated like the worst person alive just because she snatched a few photos of her and her boyfriend

⤷ user65 wouldn't that be the consequences of her own actions?

⤷ hArrysbtch nope. her phone was hacked.how many times are you taking a photo on your phone and think 'what if I'm gonna be hacked and this will be posted?'

⤷ harrysmoustache hArrysbtch ohh, babes! you closed that haters mouth!!!

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drynysn

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 738 392 others

drynysn During one of my latest lectures, one of the students asked about accuracy in Sci-Fi films, so I decided to start a little series of: Is this SCIENCE or just FICTION? Firstly, we'd look into the scene from Spider-Man 2 (2004). The scene where Peter Parker (Spider-Man) is stopping the train from its eventual crash. He shot multiple web lines, then they stretched and didn't break. One would say it is not possible. But! From the way the scene is shown to the audience, we are able to estimate how strong the web needed to be. After looking up the train's mass, you can estimate its initial velocity (how far it can go per hour, so km/h) by seeing exactly how long it takes to pass the city blocks. (1)

view all 19 291 comments

drynysn (2) You can look up, measure, the distance over the webbing stretches, and then estimate its diameter. You can also count the number of web lines. NOW, we end up with a tensile (fancy way of saying elastic) strength for the webbing that has to be about 1 000 megapascals (mega meaning milion) which is equivalent to about 102 036 704 kilograms per square metre (which is 145 000 lbs/square inch for you, my American friends on here).

drynysn (3) What is absolutely mind-blowing is the fact that the real spider silk has a tensile strength of 1 200 megapascals. So, if Spider-Man's webbing would be anyway that strong, that scene was very, very realistic. Rating it 9/10. What scene would you like to see next?

scienceandharstyles that is so informative and making this movie even more iconic!!! Did you do all the equations yourself, dr YSN?

⤷ drynysn Yes, I did. Took me some time to analyse the scene but it was worth it!

harryupdates oh, i need to rewatch this movie immediately!!!!

harrysmylife could the next scene be the one from The Avengers where Mjolnir after contacting Cap's shield makes that blue light? is that even possible?

⤷ drynysn that's a great scene!

hArrysbtch i love the little explanations in brackets! i didn't need to look up the tensile thingy!!!

harrysmoustache you're telling me the scene i was 100% sure was fake as my eyelashes is true???

user45 maybe you should try explaining showing of that body of yours

user98 is this the way to make money after being fired?

user197 unemployment doesn't suit you but the consequences of your actions finally caught up with you

user348 i think you should start posting one of those photos the sun included in their article - you'll get more attention

comments to this post have been disabled

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 54 281 others

harryupdates HARRY and DR YN spotted in a small restaurant in Oxford (I'm disabling the comments cause I don't want to deal with the haters)

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hArrysbtch MY PARENTS ARE BACK AFTER WEEKS OF DRAUGHT !!!!

hArrysbtch and they look good

harrysmoustache I missed them so much...

stylesbabie yn looks so tired and sad

⤷ hArrysbtch it's just on eohoto of one moment

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harrystyles via close friends IG story

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londonboyharry

liked by harryupdates and 14 201 others

londonboyharry went to Oxford to bump into Harry. it's better! i met Dr yn ysn, drank coffee with her, talked, and laughed my ass off!!! she is the funniest, kindest, and most down to earth person i've ever met. also, after i asked her about all the things that were happening around her, she just said 'what things?' WITH A SMIRK ON HER FACE, SIPPING COFFEE AND BEING UNBOTHERED

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harryupdates im so happy that she gives no damn to those people online

hArrysbtch I LOVE HER

harrysmoustache the moment the legend the IT girl

stylesbabie happy for you!!!

harrysmylife who would want to meet harry when you can meet Dr ysn??

scienceandharstyles best woman alive

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scienceandharstyles

liked by drynysn, harrystyles and 55 301 others

scienceandharstyles WE GRADUATED OXFORD !!! to anybody who said there is no way of incorporating pop culture with a biology degree? eat shit! i wrote the whole masters based on musicians' impact on fans' hormonal production. hehe. ALSO, it would not have been possible without the best teacher, academic inspiration, and person I've ever met - dr YN YSN. thank you!

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drynysn MADELINE, I am so so proud of you. It would not be possible without your persistence and will to find solutions and answers. This is all yours!

harrystyles Congratulations, Madeline! H, xx.

harryupdates congrats maddie!!!!

stylesbabie very very proud

harrysmoustache did you perhaps use Harry as an example in your work?

⤷ scienceandharstyles YES, I did! Only positive affects of his voice, music and visual...

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oxford_uni

liked by harrystyles, harryupdates and 748 392 others

oxford_uni Acknowledging the upheaval around one of our lectures - dr YN YSN, the Chancellor of Oxford Univeristy and the Dean of The Department of Physics decided to release the joined statement:

Refuting the words and statements made by publishers not connected to our University, we would like to inform anybody in concern that one of our gratest lecturers dr YN YSN is not decruited. The matter of private life is not concern of the Univeristy authority, even more when the said privacy was bridged. At this place, we would like to congratulate and wish luck during dr YSN's new path - becoming a professor.

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harrystyles ❤️

harryupdates I KNEW IT

hArrysbtch EAT SHIT THE SUN, EAT SHIT JOHN ADDAMS

harrysmoustache HAHAHHAHAHA I KNEW IT !!!! BABY THERE WAS NO WAY THEY WOULD FIRE HER

stylesbabie thank god! there is still hope for this world

scienceandharstyles Chancellor and Dean with the best decision ever made

harrysmylife now haters what??? ha??

harrysfan87 I believed in you guys I did

londonboyharry becoming a professor???? Good luck yn!!

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 284 others

yourinstagram There was no better thing that happened to me than meeting you. Your support means the world. I love you forever.

view all 34 comments

harrystyles Loving you is the greatest honour of all time, my heart ❤️

annetwist My favourite girl in the world (that is not my daughter)!

⤷ gemmastyles thank for clarifying, mum

gemmastyles My sister from another mister!!!

yourbestfriend We need to finally meet up!

⤷ yourinstagram Yessss!

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram,harryupdates, annetwist and 10 302 302 others

harrystyles You're just finishing one of your latest publications on the way to becoming a professor. I couldn't have been more proud and honoured to accompany you during this time.

view all 98 392 comments

yourinstagram I love you. I love you. I love you.

annetwist Our smart professor. ❤️

harryupdates ohhhhhhh 🫠

hArrysbtch I'll never get over him posting her on here

harrysmoustache we are back to normal, baby!!!!!

scienceandharstyles Professor YN YSN sounds amazing!

harrysmylife BEST. COUPLE. EVER.

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a/n: did you like the way it turned out?

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi. I was thinking about something, i don't know if others have already thought about it. It's about the "taekook subunit" a lot tkkers have been pushing since ages (not gonna lie I would like a VJK subunit, or a song). They said their voices are great together, that they are the most powerful duo etc. But why do I have the feeling that if Taennie for example is confirmed they wouldn't care less about it.

Forget about the vermin. Of course if V confirms his rlship they will dip. Some already did after Paris. Whatever. Fuck them.

What i wanna talk about is that one comment. Taekook Most powerful duo? Are they high?? I know they hate Jimin but they're not the only people who sleep on Jimin. There is a difference between most popular duo and most powerful duo. Are Tkk the most popular members? Sure. Most followers, most views on fancams, yeah, sure. But are they the most powerful duo? Umm... no they're fucking not!

(Mind you, people didn't start getting obsessed with fancams until one of Jimin's fancams got millions of views. Then it became a thing in kpop to want your fav to have the most fancam views)

The most powerful duo is Jimin and Jungkook. End of. And this ain't me being biased. The numbers don't fucking lie. I show that here.

It's the fact that FACE has done nothing but show us the power of Park Jimin and people still be here acting like he ain't a motherfucking king. First of all, let's not sit here and pretend that BTS's popularity wasn't boosted by the fact that they have a Jimin. Alright?

People always getting pressed and trying to ot7 this saying PJMs are acting like solos. That all members are the reason BTS are BTS. Yes, all members bring something to the table but guess what? All kpop groups can sing and dance and most can also write their own music. It takes talent and effort but guess what, it's not unique.

You know what's unique? This.

And This.

And definitely This.

You can sit and deny Jimin has the IT factor but even the members will disagree with you. Even they know the value of Jimin and what he has done for the group.

JK during black swan acknowledging just how lucky they were to have Jimin, a member who studied modern dance in their corner. No one is making this shit up. BST Jimin will always be a Legend

People talking about how Jimin isn't popular worldwide when he's known as the Naruto of Kpop. I know nothing about Anime but I know or the name Naruto. That's the Jimin impact.

When BTS debuted Jimin was the most popular member btw. Go watch their early interviews and see how many fans wanna talk to Jimin when they call. He was the most popular member, easy.

Yeah, JK is the most popular BTS member currently but so is Jimin. We need someone to take a new consensus fr fr coz Jimin pulls numbersssssss.

Shit, why you think haters go so hard on him? They see it. They know it. Park Jimin is IT.

Fullstop.

Oh! One more thing if a JK solo sees this. Y'all need to understand something. Jimin doesn't NEED JK. He was doing perfectly fine on his own, way before JK started reacting to Jimin's FACE related shit. He was already breaking records. He was already everywhere with none BTS kpop fans reacting to Set Me Free left right and centre. So no, Jimin does not need Jungkook.

I don’t celebrate JK promoting Jimin because I think he needs the push. I celebrate it because I know they're together and I'm a Jikooker. So I think JK is being a really sweet boyfriend doing this even if he doesn't need to. He knows he doesn't need to. It's not the first time he's done something for Jimin even though he didn't need to.

So don't get it twisted; its well and good that JK is promoting Jimin but Mimi don't need it. This is just what people who love eo do, they're there for eo.

Okay. Now I'm done.

Bonus.

[ko-existing]

Yeah, I sent that message to Bry because she was the only one posting about these anons attacking you guys...as far as I'm concerned. I haven't been here in a while.

I don't really wanna private message anyone. Sophie can privately message you if she so desires.

Further, as far as Sophie and I discussed, like yeah...you guys just had different styles of sharing ideas. Sure we can all get butthurt sometimes. But, it wasn't anything personal, ultimately, a social media tiff lol. I imagine that post is deleted?

Does it really matter anymore? Do you expect Sophie to still be raging by a tiff?

Im not gonna say anymore, it's none of my business. But the anons sending so much hate: you guys need to stop and go within. Sophie wouldn't want this for y'all. Its deplorable behavior...her and ada are gone, rely on yourself...

[neutral but more confused tone]

I'm not sure what you discussed with her but dming me and agreeing about the "there is no ego, this post is limited" story on Instagram that was meant in a neutral way but then going to tumblr, switching and saying "you're speaking from the ego, i'm so disappointed, you sound jealous of her" and making it sound like I'm attacking Ada which I originally never did within 1-2hours which resulted in her devouted deciples living in my ask box since the very start of this account to now and never saying anything about it and sendings asks anonymously about topics only she could knew about from our IG dms which were personal, doesn't sound very "different styles of sharing ideas & nothing personal" to me. How can I be jealous of someone I don't know? I asked afterwards on IG who Ada is and people told me. That's the thing that confuses me here. How can I speak from something that doesn't exist fundamentally? They talked about ND/AV but contradicted themselves with ego-related posts and concepts. Pointing that out is not an attack. I never attacked Ada, I never even knew her to begin with but Sophie's reblog was the catalyst of everything else that followed to this day that blew everything out of proportion. She knew I wasn't attacking her because that's what I said in the audio back then on IG. Disagreeing with someone does not mean attacking them. She knew her followers were camping in our inbox (not just this account) for months and stayed silent and now says it wasn't anything actually? After she (Sophie) left for a reason her anons didn't know, people started blaming Chen for it and no one said a thing. A follower on IG sent me a message asking what my opinion of this post is, i replied and AFTER i found out it's from tumblr, i made an account too. Another thing is, I don't fully understand why you operate as a middleman for her. You said in Bry's message that Anons should stop speaking for her, but aren't you speaking for her or in her name anonymously too? I'm not angry, just confused as to what exactly she told you and why it clashes with the actual situation and the reactions of it

[miya-twins]

the twins, aran, yachi, and ushijima? 👀

thanks for the ask!! I shall copy you and give the bingo and my opinions because the bingo doesn't always encapsulate my feelings,,,

Atsumu

literally he is the Blorbo. the main obsession. my little guy. I'm thinking about him practically 24/7. I care so much about his chracter arc and his impact on the narrative and I wanna see him smooch all the guys and I want him to suffer but really I want him to be safe and happy and loved and appreciated and to never learn what it means to be lonely. ahem. anyway. no surprises. you've seen the blog's name and its content.

Osamu

obviously he is Blorbo Number 2. you can't have one twin without the other. I love thinking about his character arc and his impact on the narrative and I wanna see him smooch all the guys and I wanna see him suffer but really I want him to be safe and happy and loved and appreciated and to never learn what it means to be lonely. yes I said this before but it's just as true for osamu. also yeah the only difference in the bingo is people are less mean to osamu and I can't fool myself into thinking atsumu wouldn't be too annoying for me to kiss. I can fool myself for osamu tho even tho realistically he's probably just as annoying but that's not my problem.

Aran

what can I say y'all are sleeping on him. he's such an interesting guy and every time someone gives the twins another childhood/best friend I'm internally like hello? they already have one of those? his name is aran???? why are you putting other characters where he belongs? anyway I love how silly he is and how easily he gets swept up by the twins' antics and I'm so proud of him for how far he's come. 10/10 would go on boba date with.

Yachi

god I love her like that's my girl!!! she's so cute and relatable and funny and her story in s2 was one of the best in the whole series. literally every time she smiles it's like the sun rises. would vote best girl in any poll. genuinely think about her a lot even though she doesn't have much relation to my main guys which tells you how serious I am about her

Ushijima

I'm sorry the board looks so empty but frankly none of these options accurately describe my thoughts on him. because I do have a lot of thoughts. genuinely he's such a well-written character, and I love all the relationships he has in the series, with tendou, with his dad, with sakusa, with oikawa!!! but even with all these thoughts and genuine appreciation I don't have that many actual feelings in regards to him... at least not unprompted. I like seeing him around and maybe I'll put him somewhere as a cool side character in my thoughts but I'm just not obsessed with him. but his story is good and he's so important to hq overall... maybe if we'd gotten that shiratorizawa/inarizaki match I'd be frothing at the mouth thinking about him... but alas I just quietly appreciate him