#none of them even get the chance to be put in 'normal/rational third wheel to gay male ship' trope they r too busy

[hellwurld]

i am manifesting the craziest lesbian lore for qsmp. im talking slimeriana but 10x worse. i need those bitches to give me the average fucking drama of a lesbian relationship but turned up all the way.

[some-mad-lunge]

The Last Goodbye

It was the third time Alex has had to pick Maria up off the floor behind the bar, sober her up and tuck her into bed. Each time she cries a part of him understands and part of him, well it hates her doesn’t it? Still if anyone knows the damage Michael Guerin can do to the heart it’s Alex Manes. So he buries it, digs it deep under all the rest of the shit labeled “for another day” and waits until he hears her soft snore before he lets himself leave.

He knows she’ll be okay. Tonight had been more about her mother than anything else. Guerin was just something she called a mistake, always giving Alex a look like she can’t believe he still talks to her. It had been hard at first, he couldn’t pretend otherwise. Still the heart wants what it wants, how many times had he yelled that at his father? How many times had he swore he would never be ashamed to follow where it led? How could he deny anyone else that same simple freedom?

And Maria, she’s amazing isn’t she. Strong and fierce, uncomplicated as a person can be. He envied her, sleeping off the pain of what she was losing, something Alex has never had to begin with.

He thought he’d had family once, put all his hope in one person, still did. Only now that person was himself.

The irony is that Maria had been the one to end it. The alien secret had come out too soon in whatever Maria and Michael were trying to be for her to see anything else. She’d been livid at them all for keeping it from her but maybe they’d all known, deep down, how she’d react. Even for someone with a mystical mind and a soft heart it was a lot to take. Again, Alex understood how she felt, and that just made it all the more difficult when he saw Michael’s truck in his driveway.

He gripped his steering wheel tight between his fingers. He’d known eventually Michael would come but he’d hoped it wouldn’t be on a night like tonight. Not when Alex was beyond weary of being the strong one, he was tired of breaking his own heart.

Of course Guerin looked beautiful, stained shirt and snug jeans, leaning on Alex’s porch railing like he’s supposed to be there. Maybe once upon a time, but not anymore. Always that teenage dream, the one that Alex never woke up from.

His leg ached, too much carrying Maria around and he can’t hide the slight limp as he makes his way up his front step. Michael notices and the pressure lessens instantly. Alex is too tired to be anything but thankful, walking through his front door and switching on the lights. He heads to the fridge to grab two beers, he knows Guerin will follow.

“Your door was unlocked this whole time?” It’s a low whisper, and Alex let’s it wash over him just one last time. Then he hardens his face as he turns, a bottle in his outstretched hand.

“Anyone who wanted in would find a way.” He knows there’s an edge to his voice, Michael wincing slightly before taking the offered beer. They both know any other time before Alex would have found him on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. Always trying to prove to Alex he had nowhere to hide, that he couldn’t run from them.

So he steps back, needing the space to be rational and the support of the counter to lean against. He’s just so weary of it all but if they’re going to do this best to get it done.

“I was trying to be respectful.”

“First time for everything. Why are you here, Guerin?” It’s a stupid question to ask, they both know the answer but Alex stopped believing he understood them a long time ago. Stopped assuming he knew what Michael meant when he opened his mouth.

“You know why.” Michael takes a swig of his beer, hand coming up to run threw his curls. It makes Alex’s fingers twitch, sense memory, another phantom limb.

“Yeah, well I’m going to need you to say it.” After Caulfield Alex had been nothing but honest, can’t have anymore space for misunderstandings. If Guerin chose to disbelieve, that was on him wasn’t it?

“You know why I had to try, with Maria…”

It takes everything Alex has left to meet Guerin’s eyes, he sees pain and want and a life that he’s not allowed to have anymore.

Yeah, he kind of hates them both, the two people he’s only ever loved more than anything.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“Are you?”

Alex can’t help the spiteful laugh that bubbles out, slams his bottle on the counter as he braces his arms against it.

“Yeah, I am. I don’t like seeing the people I care about hurting. I’m sure that must come as a surprise.” In all of this that’s the most confusing part, watching Maria lose something she thought was real before it began. Seeing Michael’s chance at “normal” blow up in his face because of something he can’t control. None of them asked for this, Alex included.

The silence is defining, he can literally feel Michael’s need flowing through the room. He resents it because he feels it too. He’s accepted it, Michael just needs to catch up.

“Look, Guerin I’m tired. Really fucking tired, so if you could just say…”

“I love you.”

There it is, what they both know, have always known. Once again, it just doesn’t change anything. Alex remembers when he thought it did, when he believed it could.

“I know.”

Michael moves like he’s coming to him and Alex shakes his head firmly, stops him in his tracks.

“I told you, I told you there was no going back from this.” He had, when he’d seen Michael’s healed hand holding Maria’s across the bar, when he’d searched him out to tell him about Max.

He’d tucked it away until later, when the dust had settled and they had a moment alone. Told him he wished them both happy, the words sour in his mouth. If someone was going to throw him away, at least it had been for his favourite human.

“And I told you I needed to try, I had to know if I could feel anything for anyone else. And I could, and I did, but it didn’t compare. You have to know…”

“You need to leave.” For all of his bravado Alex doesn’t want to do this, he doesn’t want to be who he is, doesn’t want to do what he knows he has to do so he can sleep at night.

“You don’t mean that.” There’s a wonder to Michael’s voice, a pleading in his eyes that almost breaks Alex’s resolve. Almost has him believing that nothing else will matter if he just has his arms around the man he loves.

Life isn’t a romance novel, and Alex doesn’t get to have those things. At least his Dad has been right about that.

“It’s why I wished you and Maria had worked out after all, hell you still might. At least then you didn’t throw us away for nothing.” He realizes he needs to be cruel, logic never worked on Guerin. He has a heart to break, and this time it’s not his own.

“Alex, please.”

“You could have picked anyone else, Guerin. Anyone. But you chose her and I get it, she’s amazing. She’s sunshine and joy, uncomplicated and special. That’s why she’s my best friend. That’s why I have spent everyday since trying to kill every piece of what I feel for you. Every damn hold you have on me. I love you, I always have, I probably always will. But us, this, whatever we were holding onto, we let go. Here. Now. I won’t do that to her, I can’t.” He knows there’s unshed tears in his eyes, he knows if Michael dared to reach for him he wouldn’t be turned away.

“She’s the one that ended it.” Maybe to Guerin that’s what this is all about. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with Alex. Part of him wants to believe it, pretend this is some trick to hurt Maria like she hurt Michael, but he knows it’s not. It’s them, it’s what they do to each other. This constant give and take, mostly Alex and his selfish taking. He doesn’t want to be that person, not anymore.

So he does it, he keeps going, it’s the only move he has anymore.

“And you ended us. It’s what you wanted. Own it. Embrace it. Find your normal and easy, get out from underneath the mess we made.”

“I fucked up, I was confused and I just wanted…”

Alex cuts him off, plays the ace that will be the final note to their sad love song.

“Look away.”

Alex knows he’ll never forget the pained expression on Michael’s gorgeous face. He’ll never forget how it took every ounce of strength he had to not let his knees buckle in that moment.

He loves him, it’s so deep inside, so rooted that Alex can’t imagine it being my other way. Michael deserves his normal, and maybe it wasn’t with Maria but it’ll be with someone else. Someone whole and hopefully worthy. Someone who doesn’t lay awake most nights with regret flickering like a flame behind his eyes. Someone who didn’t break Michael over and over again, someone who won’t keep doing it.

“No.”

A beer bottle smashes to the floor, strong warm hands are pulling at his face before he can blink. Fingers curling into his neck, noses brushing, and Alex can’t stop the painful ache as his heart thuds in his chest.

“Don’t ask that of me, anything else Manes. Not that.”

He can’t help himself, he’s weak and tired, it’s too easy to tip his mouth right where he wants it. It’s soft and remorseful, he puts everything he wishes he could take back into that kiss. This, it’s got to be the last goodbye, for both of them.

Guerin must sense it, because he holds on tighter, molds his body into Alex’s, tries to lock them into place. For a moment, he pretends this is what it could be like. No more secrets, no more lies, no more games. Just Alex and Michael, two people who found each other because that was the way it was supposed to be.

Finally he lets go of the vice grip he has on the arms that hold him and pushes the warm body away.

“Michael…”

“No, not this time. You have to stop running from me.” Fingers slide out of his hair, he’s not sure he’s ever felt so cold in his life.

“I stopped running months ago.” Alex side steps around him, avoids the broken glass and foamed beer on the floor, opens the door. Michael’s eyes flick between the waiting night sky and Alex’s face.

“Then why?” Alex hangs his head, pinches the bridge of his nose to try and stop the tears that will give him away.

“I’m not what you want, Guerin, not really. Maybe it’s the chase, maybe I’m the excuse you use to stay where you are. But you can be more, you can have more and you realized it. This is just a blip. You’ll wake up tomorrow and remember why you chose differently when you could.”

“And what, finally have a day where I don’t feel like I’m falling apart without you? Tell me Alex, tell me how to do it? I’ve tried, I’ve fucking tried and it doesn’t work. Tell me how to run like you do.” It burns, those words, because the truth hurts, every damn time.

“You put one foot in front of the other as you walk out this door.” Alex smiled at him then, he hopes it’s cruel, he hopes it slices and severs. He hopes it sets Guerin free.

Those eyes widen, lips curl in disgust, boots crunching glass as Michael walks past Alex. He smells of sweat and oil, Alex breathes it in deep, a memory to lock away. He can’t bring himself to look, waits until the headlights fade and the tires squeal off in the distance before he pulls out his phone.

He knows Guerin, he knows he’ll be back. He’s the strong one. He’ll keep fighting, he always does. Alex was the only one weak enough to run away, so we would, again.  Only this time he won’t make the mistake of coming back. He owes Michael that much.

[percurrere]

Audrey’s regular meal of boiled skag meat wasn’t going over in her plan. She was simply sick of it that day. Everything happening, she barely wanted to leave the canyons, none of the bounty hunters or any of the other now crawling in the Dust for that Hyperion ass. She thought that sending the guy on his way would make them follow and leave but apparently not. They still were sniffing out every crevice for some group of idiots that dived into something they shouldn’t and Audrey didn’t want to make herself suffer because of them. Fuck it, she had to interact with someone, it’s been at least a week since being face to face with someone. 

She had gathered her courage to leave her guarded shed, taking her supply bag and a few things she could sell for cash. Weaving her wings into existence, she took the shorter way to the outpost she frequented, straight up and out of her hiding place. A walk into town felt different with more eyes watching her than normal, she had dissipated her wings at that point, nothing but some grey blotches on the skin of her back would be the only evidence. She had to wave it off, get rid of the paranoia, not like any of these people would try anything. If they were new, she had enough to bare her teeth and get people to learn. The normal interaction with a few food cart owners and bargaining let her have some decent food for a day or two. Some jerky with some flavor, packaged granola, a few crappy ration pack from various corporations as well. Unfortunately being a sucker for things that reminded her of home, she swiped up a can of pineapple to hoard and save for later. It even made her want to carry it in her hand on the way out of the town to the outskirts not thinking much about the ones that had watched. 

One look over her shoulder to the distant shacks and she brought her wings back out once again for the drift back down to her place. The some people came out of nowhere, obviously aware of the surprise and distraction with the small bit of nostalgia. Quickly finding herself surrounded by some bounty hunters and a few extra bandits for muscle, Audrey had to consider what would be her next action. Fighting seemed to be her best chance, screw anything peaceful.

The apparent leader stepped out from the circle, what they looked like wasn’t exactly important, what was glinting in their hand was. Hard to tell when it was that bright and the sickeningly slow approach was. 

“All of us here get how this can work out. Don’t make it difficult for us, girly.” 

There’s seven of them, wheres the weak link? Which way does she need to go to get out, stop them. Audrey’s response was putting her arms in a fighting stance while the threads wrap around her hands and fingers to give her claws.  Her own voice growled back. 

[I won’t, you leave now, I won’t rip off your arms and beat you with them.]  That got her a little chuckle.

“Please, let’s get on with this. I’ll let you have the first hit. I’m almost curious to see what a little abomination like you can muster.” The free hand waved while the girl already started to pounce, holding her hands so they would attach and claw into whatever they hit. 

Another had run up behind her to hook their arms under her own in the midst of that impulse attack, now making her think that she had taken some easy bait. Another two go for each arm, getting their share of bloodied faces from her scratching and thrashing around. Plenty of distractions happening around her, she hadn’t noticed the taser come into her peripheral and into her side. The pain soon followed making the woven strands around her arms to evaporate while brain attempted to keep up with the pain. 

“Be ready with the mask, we have a few seconds before someone gets impaled.”

That was what had make her stop moving, as well as giving her a nice reminder of what it was like to have the collar on and working. Right after came what was then her reminder to keep struggling as a face mask attached to a small tank was being pushed to her with something hissing out of it. Audrey’s head instinctively jerked away only to be pulled back by the hair into breathing in the crap that gave her almost immediate nausea. 

“No. No. Take a rest now. That’s it.” Their demeanor went from snarky to all business while she lost strength. “Get the tech-guy…” Audrey had heard almost every other phrase while weakly struggling to stay awake. “…she’s basically gone…” Fresh air had hit her lungs finally right when she was thrown over a shoulder and the last bits of consciousness slipped. “…Good work…” 

Making things seem like a nightmare wasn’t helping her while coming back to ever so slowly. The metal around her neck was back to being tight and lightly humming with the energy being contained it it. No. Dammit. That realization came with the feeling of being unable to move in the dark. It felt like she was wrapped up in a bed-sheet with another sack over her head. She then found herself to be in a box or crate of some sort when people started talking, a little muffled out. 

“It’s awake”

“I know. It’s easy to tell when it whimpers and worms around like that. Not like anything can be done, just gotta’ wait for the ship and then it’s payday.”

“Wont it do that thing where it tried to stab us with her mind?”

“Not unless she wants to be a human lightning rod.” A slap of a hand on metal startled her, maybe even on purpose. 

“That’s enough, boys. We have company.” A third voice came in even more distant with the sound a door creaking closed following. Two pairs of footsteps is what she thought was heard. Then a noise of a lock opening in front of her made her squirm away from what she would expect was hands to pull her out. That was what happened, a pair of hand grabbed her by the arms behind her back and hooked around her waist as well to drag her away from the defensive curl to be mustered.  

“Let me see it’s face. We don’t take kindly to being tricked. Besides I need to re-register the collar into our systems if you have the right rat.” A device beeped and clicked on at the same time, while the bag over her head was finally removed to a grey room and the same bandits that took her in the first place. Then she looked over to a man in one of those tacky Hyperion suits with a scanner of some sort in his hand. A goon’s hands held her head in place while the piece of tech was held up to her neck and chimed as a confirmation of sorts. “Damn, still have the original on her, I’m impressed.” Then it was moved a few inched away to send a line of light down her face to scan it as well. It made the same chime again and the fucker stood back up to wave forward his own back-up to push her back into the stupid crate. “Thanks for finding her, you’ll get paid soon. We have to leave but feel free to keep in contact if you find any other bounties.” The bars locked in front of her a buzz from the control panel on top indicated for the cage to go dark. “I’ll take this little brat home now.” The wheels attached roll forward and all she can manage is to keep quiet and wait for the hell soon to follow.