#none of actual quotes r mine tho

[winewinebloodwine]

🖕 u @long-death-dazai

[w-re-writes]

Fictober - Day 17 - “an honest muttonhead”

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1867

Rating: General Audiences

Prompt: “There is just something about them/her/him.”

Unbeknownst to him, Cleos is the third wheel in a ridiculous road trip. His wife helps him through it.

(read on ao3)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Cleos Frey had never been a saint, but he was sure he did not deserve this punishment.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" His cousin, Jaime, said from the back seat. "Of course the Warrior would beat the Maid. It's right there in the name."

The gigantic woman in the passenger's seat exhaled with resignation. Brienne Tarth, she was called. Another employer of Catelyn Stark's. Reliable, strong. She’d been his manager for the past months, and Cleos liked her. Not the least because she’d also done an enviable job of ignoring Jaime’s constant japes. At least, until he managed to get under her skin.

"You're bypassing the fact," Brienne explained in a tired tone, "that the Warrior cannot harm the Maid. She's an innocent. But if she asked him to fight for a just cause, he could even get killed. She’d win any fight between them."

"But the Warrior cannot die!"

"But that’s not the point!"

Mother have mercy.

Cleos hadn't seen Brienne upset by anything until Jaime arrived to the Tully headquarters to oversee their negotiations with Tywin Lannister. Purchasing company branches was a merciless bloodbath, and Jaime had been sent to do what he did best—to rail people up until they yielded.

Jeyne help , Cleos texted his wife as soon as he got signal. They were waiting for Jaime to return from taking a leak in the woods. He’d insisted, despite the pouring rain.

What is it?

I’m this close to put myself in front of the car. Miss u.

Miss u too. It's Jaime, just tell embarrassing stories re him as a kid. Thats how genna shuts him up

Cleos glanced up at Brienne, who was also frowning and tapping on her phone.

Its nit just him , he typed back.

The girl too?

They nvr stop fighting

Rlly?

Its exhausting. Like Ty and Will

At that moment, Jaime closed the door with a self satisfied smile.

"All good, coz," he said ruefully, shaking his umbrella in an obnoxious way. "Let's go."

Cleos glanced at Brienne, who nodded her approval, and he started the engine.

-------

This whole excuse of a road trip had been Jaime's idea. Cleos had said it was a ridiculous notion, with the weather they’d last the Seven knew how long. But Jaime had argued back. Flights had been canceled due to the storm, but by car it'd only be 7 hours to King’s Landing. "Shorter than waiting for the storm to blow over," Jaime had smiled. "We all win."

Yeah, right . Cleos had begun to wonder if he was trapped within one of the gods’ big jokes.

"Everyone knows that a blade blunts after hitting bone," Brienne was saying, raising her voice over the rain outside. "So a sword is not a good weapon during a zombie apocalypse."

"But the aesthetic," Jaime shook his fists at her, faking emotion. "What else do you have during the zombie apocalypse but aesthetics?"

He makes her laugh tho , Cleos texted Jeyne later, when they stopped at a petrol station in the middle of nowhere. They were all slightly damp, but for some reason Jaime managed to make it look classy. Brienne and him just looked annoyed.

Thats good?

Yeah, shes young but very serious, tries to hide it

That she's serious?

That she laughs

Brienne returned to the car from her expedition into the management store. "The road is closed," she announced, squaring her shoulders and handing Jaime and Cleos an apple juice box each. "But the man said they're cleaning it up and it should be done by tomorrow."

"There's no way around it?" Cleos asked. Of course the gods would make it harder for him. Of course.

Brienne shook her head.

"It'd take us three hours to get to the other road," Jaime chimed in, slurping his apple juice. "Not worth it."

"Then another five hours to circle back to King's Landing," Brienne agreed, not reluctantly. "Can you stop that?"

Jaime gulped his drink with added noise. Brienne rolled her eyes before turning to Cleos.

"The man said there's an inn further down. We should stop there for the night."

Cleos felt his face wrinkle in pain.

"Slumber party" Jaime finished his juice, looking straight at Brienne. "Yay."

-------

Cleos u old fool , Jeyne had texted, adding two laughing emojis. Cleos frowned.

We r eating smtng n staying at an inn, call u soon , he sent her. Then he quoted her last message: Why?

"Coz, the Boss says they only got one room," Jaime's hand patted his shoulder. "We'll all have to share."

"The boss?" Cleos deepened his frown.

"Two beds, though," Brienne walked past them, carrying most of their bags on one hand. "And if you keep calling me Boss I’m going to expect you to shut up and do as I say, Lannister."

"Am I not doing that already?" he teased her, watching her stomp upstairs with determination. He gave a short laugh, picked what was left of their luggage, and trailed after her. Cleos checked his phone and followed, wondering just how insufferable dinner would be.

"No no no no no," Brienne was shaking her hands. "Under no circumstances would the Blue Knight lose to the Golden Knight. There’s a story about it."

“But only the one story,” Jaime insisted, nudging Cleos with an elbow as he cut his meal.

The inn was packed, and they’d been cramped into a corner. Cleos was not a short man, but he was sandwiched between the biggest woman he’d ever met and his cousin's inflated personality in the tiniest, primpiest table in the seven kingdoms. The tablecloth even had lace, which he knew because he had been inspecting everything in his immediate surroundings while his companions spoke nonstop.

"Are you saying it’s not canonical?"

"“I’m saying there’s a chance they never actually fought."

Cleos tried to remember when his remark about the decorative armour in the parlor had turned into a discussion about the age of heroes, or whatever this was. His mum used to tell him and his cousins stories about knights and dragons, and Brienne had been delighted when he'd told her. She loved all of that stuff. As for Jaime… Cleos hadn’t even known Jaime still cared about the stories.

-------

Is she touching her hair? Jeyne’s reply chimed in his phone.

Cleos stopped the fork halfway to his mouth and glanced at his left. Brienne was talking about a historical TV show, tugging her hair behind her ears at least twice in the process.

Yes. What does that have to do w anythng? He texted back.

Is he listening to her? That message had a laughing-with-tears emoji.

Cleos looked to his right. Jaime had cupped his cheek on one hand, following her every word.

His brow furrowed so fast in realization he felt a muscle tear.

Can't be, he sent. It didn’t feel adamant enough. Impossible , he added.

-------

Cleos had been at some office events where both Brienne and Jaime had attended, and he never thought… Surely Jeyne was wrong.

Brienne had sighed in relief when she had told him they’d reached an agreement. They were about to sign the contracts with Uncle Tywin, which was why they’d been traveling to King’s Landing in the first place. Jaime had been unfazed by the result, as usual, even though him and Brienne had written the final document.

Then again…

Cleos looked at Jeyne’s stream of emojis making fun of him (including some suggestive combinations of hand gestures and eggplants), and then again at his manager and cousin.

They were radiant.

-------

Like everything else in that godsforsaken inn, the room was small and cozy, with lace decorating every textile in view.

Cleos sat on the edge of one of the beds, while Brienne threw herself in the other. Jaime was opening cabinets and doors, like a cat inspecting a new room.

Their not flirting , Cleos texted Jeyne, one handed, opening a couple of buttons on his shirt.

Sounds like it to me

"Hey," Jaime produced a box from one of the shelves. "Kingdompoly! What say you, coz? Shall we play, for old time’s sake?"

Cleos huffed. "Will loves it," he said. "So that means we’ve had to ban it from the house. I pass."

Jaime laughed. "Very well. And you, Boss? Fancy a play?"

"What are you, ten?" Brienne was decidedly not looking up at Jaime, intent only on her book, the edge of her mouth curling up just so. "Only if you’re prepared to lose."

"Ah, a challenge. You boast."

"Of course. My sisters hated me because I won all the time."

"That's because you weren’t playing me."

-------

Are u still up?

Cleos had grabbed the spare key and beseeched the safety of the lobby. The rain was still pounding, but the waiting area was quiet in comparison to the tourney-worth of cackles the two blonds had been making.

The phone rang at the tune of the Rains of Castamere and Cleos picked up gratefully.

"Hi, husband mine." Jeyne's grin was palpable in her voice. "How’re the lovebirds?"

"Fighting," Cleos chuckled. "Over Kingdompoly."

“Kingdompoly?"

"See what I do for our sons?"

Jeyne laughed. "I know. They miss you."

"And me them."

"But are you sure? I was rather hoping I had something to tease your mum with. Her favorite nephew, flirting with a Stark. Can you imagine?"

"I just told you. It's not flirting. They fight. And she's not a Stark, exactly."

"Is it fighting or is it bantering?"

Cleos mentally ran through months of constant teasing, chattering, endless nights of working together, heads bent into one single purpose.

"It’s not flirting," he insisted, stubborn as ever.

That made his wife laugh. It was warm.

"Well," Jeyne continued. "Come home as soon as you can and I'll show you proper flirting, then."

Gods, he missed her.

-------

Cleos walked into their room an hour after. He'd assumed Jaime and him would share a bed, so his surprise was genuine when he discovered two large bulks in Brienne's.

Tip toeing his way through the carpet, Cleos peeked over the pink dossel. Kingdompoly was sprawled out on the mattress in disarray, Brienne asleep against the headboard, and Jaime tucked against her leg, his curls resting on her thigh.

Cleos bit his lip.

His first instinct was to wake Jaime up, a million arguments about impropriety crossing his mind. But they both looked strangely peaceful. And gratefully quiet.

Look what I found , Cleos typed to Jeyne.

It was a bit clumsy, but he managed to angle the camera, adjust the flash, and snap the picture.

Jeyne sent back a billion head-exploding emojis.

I told u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't have to seem so smug, but Cleos didn’t mind too much.

I got u something to bother mum with , he replied, sliding into his own bed.

My hero ! She said, with a heart emoji.

Cleos chuckled for himself, and peppered his text lingo with a smiley face for his wife.

Sinking into the pillow, Cleos glanced at his travel companions one last time. They breathed slowly in absolute comfort, holding each other in the bed. Maybe Jeyne wasn't so far off, after all. There is just something about them.

With a knowing grin, Cleos drifted into sleep.

[cxiao07-blog]

Critical Practice Final Essay: Chungking Express and Postmodernism

Chungking Express is a Hong Kong drama film written and directed by Wong Kar-wai and released in 1994. I believe this film is a great example of postmodernism. The film includes two stories in which the location is the same, but the characters are different. However, the characters are all distanced and lonely, they question their life, their reaction to their surrounding is often not logical, and the plot is sometimes unstructured and unclear. The film shows a sense of ambiguity and the feeling of chaos in the society, it questions traditions and everything that’s already developed. There’s more to explore in this movie that is related to the concept of postmodernism.

The main character of the first story is cop 223. In the beginning,r we see a scene of the crowd, people are bypassing each other and bypassing every possible encounter. The focus is on cop 223, and another woman with a blonde wig who seems to be running away from someone. Cop 223 ran into the woman, and as the narrator, he says: "At our closest point, we were just 0.1 cm apart, 55 hours later, I was in love with this woman." This is a foreshadowing of following plot, but also symbolizes one of the movie's theme: the endless possibilities of encounters between strangers.

In the next scene, cop 223 appears at a food stop, which becomes an important location of the story: where the main characters meet. He broke up with his girlfriend on the April Fool's day, she said he doesn't know her at all. Cop 223 tried to convince himself that it is only a joke, but it’s very hard for him to get over with the relationship. Cop 223 went jogging, because "everyone's heart gets broken. When mine is, I go running. Running evaporates body fluid, so there's none left for tears."

Everything has an expiration date, even their love. His girlfriend May likes pineapple cans, he decides that he'll give himself a month to get over with the joke, so he buys a can of pineapple with the expiration of May 1st every day. After May 1st, he will admit their relationship has expired, and he will move on. Cop 223 is trying to escape the reality and he questions "is there anything that's never expired?" To him the world is cold and everyone is so distanced, especially when he gives a recycling man the pineapple can, the man madly throws the can to the floor, saying he doesn't want it because it is expired. It is just like the love from May is expired, on the morning of May 1st, cop 223 realizes that "To May I was nothing but a tin of pineapple," that could be thrown away easily.  

The idea of postmodernism in this movie could be also supported by the illogical decisions that characters made. Cop 223 doesn't want to accept the truth, the 30 cans of pineapples are his escape from reality. On May 1st, He went to a bar, and decides he will fall in love with the first woman he saw. That person is the blonde wig woman, who is very stressed from running and chasing a drug-smuggling ring. Cop 223 starts talking to her, even tho she's "not in the mood of talking." They are both lonely, so they talk and she became drunk. Cop 223 takes her to a hotel room and lets her rest. In the meantime, he watches movies and keeps eating, to release his stress of being lonely and lovesick. He helps her taking off her high heels and cleans them before leaving.

Cop 223's story ends with jogging and a happy birthday greeting from the blonde woman, while he thought no one would greet him since he broke up with May. He's ready to move on, after running and eating the 30 cans of pineapple. He appears at the snack store again, which introduces the second story and the characters: Faye and cop 663.

Cop 663 is also dealing with a breakup, with a flight attendant. Cop 663 thinks about his ex-girlfriend while looking at her old uniform, he irons her uniform and talks to dish, towel, and dolls. He's so deeply lonely, he imagines her girlfriend's still with him, guessing her still hiding in his closet when he gets home.

Faye secretly falls in love with him. She finds opportunities to stay with him when she could, asking him help for carrying heavy stuff or pretend to stop by when he's eating on the street side shop. Cop 663's girlfriend left a letter with his apartment's key at the food shop, asking the owner to give it to Cop 663. Faye secret kept the letter and the key, she enters Cop 663's apartment without his acknowledge, cleaning and decorating his room. Fayer changes his worn-out towel, brings him goldfish, changes his tablecloths, she even tries his ex-girlfriend’s old uniform. When Cop 663 finds out, he asks her out for dinner at a restaurant called California. However, she does not come, instead, the shop owner tells cop 663 that Faye left for California in the United States.

The atmosphere of this film is very subtle, quiet and even melancholy. The shop owner keeps telling cop 223 and cop 663 to not be sad about the breakup, just find another girl. But to them, finding a new one might not be hard, what's hard is to find one with little distance in their hearts. Cop 223 breaks up with May because even though their physical distance is close, they are not connected emotionally, and that's why the relationship is expired. In the movie, there's a lot of scenes reflected on a mirror, representing the vague reality and the unsureness of people's connections. One of the examples is when cop 223 and the blonde woman are drinking in the bar, does cop 223 really understands her loneliness? Another one is when cop 663 kisses his ex-girlfriend, a mirror shows that they are not really in love with each other, they are connected to nothing but sexual desire.

This movie also has a bunch of stylistic lines, including cop 663’s conversation with his furniture: “Since she left, everything in the flat is sad. Everything needed lulling to sleep.

(to a bar of soap)”, “You've lost a lot of weight, you know. You used to be so chubby. Have more confidence in yourself. (to a threadbare wet dishcloth)” “You have to stop crying, you know. Where's your strength and absorbency? You're so shabby these days.” Other remarkable quotes include “Actually, really knowing someone doesn't mean anything. People change. A person may like pineapple today and something else tomorrow.” by the blonde woman when she’s at the bar. Most of these quotes are implying that in the world of chaos, on the surface we are connected with one another, we can easily be close to someone, but within our deep self, we are always by ourselves and alone.

In the ambiguity and the illogicality of the plot, the doubt toward the real world, the question of individual existence, I believe this movie has expressed the idea of postmodernism.

[49scribes-a]

{--More stream quotes!--}

YEA BO- wait. What the fuck is this. OH MY GOD THAT MUSIC. I'M TRIGGERED. I FLASHING BACK SO HARD. GOODBYE.

Hige don't be dramatic you're fine

NO I'M NOT. I REMEMBER HAVING FF ON GBA. -SCREECHES-

Honestly I was playing The Evil Within 2 the other day it was a traumatic experience for me.

Fuck that, yolo it.

No I'm not gonna yolo it.

Assaless.

Speak my name when u arrive... say my name boi.

I received the Sword of the Order.

Kinky.

Do you seriously remember that?

Jesus christ that was so long ago.

Was it? I have no concept of time. I literally don't. Like none. The bashtard.

Basch. Baschtard. Vaangina.

*Gets out the hose. Pressure washes Hige with holy water*

I smell. Something weird. Like hot glue.

*turns into swiss cheese*

RIP swissed Hige.

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. IS BURNING. IN RL. I SMELL HOT GLUE. AM I DYING RN. THEY SAY YOU SMELL HOT GLUE WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A SIEZURE.

Where's the spy pirate I wonder.

I've heard of smelling brussel sprouts...

It varies. Some say copper pennies. Some say hot glue. Some say burning stuff.

Dead raccoons smell a lot like melting brussel sprouts. Pro tip.

Hige I-- I don't... wanna know how you know that.

Cuz of their hobby.

Vaugn the oversharing fuckwit. Relatable.

I genuinely forgot how to spell his name, and just don't care at this point.

Jar jar binks!!!

Its Vaan. Two a's.

Van. Vaan. Yawn.

Wtf was that noise Vaan.

Sell shit, be rich for about 5 seconds, then be poor.

He's just a teenage boy.

OH. I KNOW WHAT I'M SMELLING. FUKING FI R E WOR KS.

Sky pervert u say.

Everyone in this house but me is like 'OH MY GOD ITS GUNSHOTS. 100 PERCENT GUNSHOTS. THE WORLD SO DANGEROUS.' And I'm like... bitch... its fireworks... 'NO -- ITS NOT -- I WAS IN THE ARMY I WOULD KNOW WHAT A GUNSHOT IS. PLUS, I JUST SAW THE FLASH FROM THE BARREL'. Excuse me... guns don't... guns don't flash.

flash from the bARREL. I'M LAUGHING.

That's not... how guns work.

Oh what I don't have my party with me.

I was waiting to see how long before you noticed lmao.

Wow you guys are so mean. Not telling me I forgot my party.

I'm gonna summon them like beatle juice.

Oh man it didn't work.

Oh there you are. I tried to summon you like beatle juice but it didn't work.

Well you shoulda said that chant over a dead possum. Then I woulda heard you.

Confession. I'm still hella weak for bunny tatas.

I DON'T REMEMBER ALL THE FAKE NAMES OKAY.

Clearly neither does Vaan.

Am I ready for the mines? Am I? Aaam I? I am let's go.

Ah, so polite. You're also like. My well of never-ending potions.

Oooooo. Whip him. Whip him daddy.

Jfc.

I want to see him broken and bleeding and crying for more.

*gets the holy water hose again*

THATS NOT HOLY WATER. THERE'S NOTHING HOLY ABOUT IT. EXCEPT THAT IT FILLS ME WITH HOLES.

Exactly.

What big teef u have.

Every city looks pretty at night. They look better on FIRE at NIGHT.

We're not lighting Bhujerba on fire.

WHY THE FUCK NOT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS GASOLINE NOW.

Okay, Hige? You can set that airship right there on fire.

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MAKE IT A FUCKING PHOENIX.

Hello sexy.

Nevermind. He looked better through the blurry window. Fucking frizied hair.

Everyone looks the god damn same to me.

Assless.

[spongebob voice] Iiiiiii'm ready. Iiiiii'm ready.

Idk where they are ho.

I don't know if this is weird but, does catnip... smell like tea? Cuz I think it kinda smells like tea.

Wouldn't know, I've never smelled catnip that I can remember.

I missed my chance to be Cool and say 'I've never snorted catnip'. I disappoint myself.

Awwww, but I want to take out half your kingdom army with this.

Dang you only had 8 gil? You're a poor ass soldier, what the fuck.

I guess I will just. Sound the alarm.

sOUND THE ALARM. BEE BU DEE BU DAH DEE DEE DEE.

Now I'm gonna have to look that song up. gdi.

You gonna slap her again? ...I mean him, not her.

What FUCKING level are you? Oh my gooood.

God-- Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

DON'T STOP. BELIEVIN.

n y o o m.

SUPER SAIYAN.

R i p t h a t du d e.

aAWWWWWWWWW WHAT ARE TH O SE. THEY'RE ADORABLE.

KNIGHTKNIGHTKNIGHTKNIGHT.

KNIGHTTTTT.

I can't find the gd song.

lOOK AT THAT ARMOR.

Found ya bitch.

I ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT THE GD FILTER.

THEY'RE ADORABLE. I WANT 10.

Okay but u know what else is fucking adorable. The. Sheep. In Nautilus Park in FFXIII. ...Wow it  didn't censor me that time.

THE SHEEP LOOK LIKE MUPPETS WTF. THEY'RE SO CUTE.

Lavi was honestly just. "I'm living in this park now. I'm never leaving these sheep."

Doug wants a moogle.

I PLAYED A MOOGLE ONCE. AND THEIR HUMAN FC WAS KOMUI.

Chocobos are better.

THERE. Fuk u chat.

But also omg. Komui as a M O O G L E.

Chocobos are blessings.

I need to find that blog I had now.

FOUND IT.

I did so many fucking laps around this airship. Eventually I ran out of spawns. It was just. 'Damn'.

Jeez Vossler, god damn, put some eye drops in your eyes.

'You won't be able to leave this area easily, you should think about saving in a different file' NAAAAAAAAAH.

Wait, you mean you weren't. Fighting anything all this time? God damn it Ashe. Didn't have your gambits on, *growls* /PRINCESS/.

I mean. Its an honest mistake. At least you didn't go out into a sandstorm without your party to fight a Mark kek.

FIX YOURSELF.

fIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.

Okay. Let's just go with this. Too many. I don't like it.

*sips cola*

(elis voice) i gOT THE COLA.

[coach voice] COLA.

Honestly my favorite is. 'Ah now Coach you look like you done this before.'

SOMETHING ABOUT THAT LINE JUST. ISN'T RIGHT.

Exactly.

I hate being blinded too tbh. I say as I never wear glasses I need to wear.

GDI BASCH

fuk u, alarm

*long gasp* God damn it shE'S ALSO LEVEL 14 I'm fucking screeching.

Yaaaaaaay my favorite one. Tides of Fate.

HEAVEN'S WRATH SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY COOL INNOCENCE NAME NGL.

It sounds like it'd be a cool af staff.

Hi, Doug's possible ancestor.

O this fight was "fun"

oHO DAM N SHE ANGERY

I read aero as lero

*to the tune of shots* BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS

I'll see myself out

Here comes butts.

bUTT

BUTT

Bun Butt.

U know. Bunny tailed Lavi is one of my favorite things in RWBY and FFXII verses. /Especially when he's agitated/.

ANGERY BUNNY BUTT.

I'm st ill l aug hin g. When Weiss worked him into a tizzy about if she was complimenting or insulting him and he couldn't figure it out. Bunny tail going a mile a minute.

Oh my god I remember that ask. That was my favorite ask, just cuz it worked him into a tizzy. She wasn't gonna answer him either, he would've been like "are you complimenting or insulting me?" and she would've just been like "Yes."

t h e f u c k w a s t h a t. That thing looked like something out of a nightmare.

THAT THING. NO. THE ALIGATOR LOOKING BITCH.

I'm here and AM queer.

THAT.

THOT.

SCARY BITCH.

Hello queer. I'm ace.

Changing my name to Hiqueerge.

THE BACON PEPPERONI WOLF. BACON PEPPERONI. I'D EAT THAT.

j FC WHY.

I don't know why they did this but. God. Horrible clashing colors.

You wouldn't eat that Hige.

I WOULD. BET IT TASTES LIKE CYANIDE AND HEARTBURN.

Oh my god, Hige. Why am I friends with you?

Its like a um... chimera. I think chimera is the right word.

The fast forward run is fucking killing me. They need chipmunk voices.

Ashe is problematic. Her skirt is not functional. This... is both problem and not a problem at all. Its a problem because why bother wearing anything at all at that point. Its not a problem because at least it keeps the perverts happy.

Ashe is problematic... although right now its currently basch. Because he hasn't reACHED LEVEL FUCKING 14 YET.

I hate her boots though. I hate those boots. I wish they'd just given her actual pants.

Fight her boots.

Her dysfunctional wardrobe is the final boss.

Jar jar binks got big.

Stronk stronk bigs.

THERE BE ANOTHER ONE.

AAAAARRRRR. YE BE AFTER ME TREASURE?

I can't be a pirate anymore tho so. w e e p s.

KILL IT WITH FIRE

FIIIIIIIIRE

FIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Cure me, bitch.

You know I haven't been paying attention-- *gasps* OH MY GOD I FINALLY LEVELED UP, REALLY?

LOOK AT THAT. ALL LEVEL 14 YAAAY.

*HEAVENLY CHORUS IN THE BACKGROUND*

HAAAAALLEJULAHHHH

I... all I can imagine is that skyrim video. With the crier. Flying away into the horizon as he’s giving a sermon.

HE ASCENDED.

tfw you kick the power strip and knock the internet out.

k it n o. don't kick power strips. Power strips are friends.

This is what happens when I never sit at a desk.

R e l a t a b l e.

Why do I do this to me.

S C R E A M S. p oor r ox as. P oor stupid axel.

ROXAS DESERVED BETTER.

I love axel. He's a good. But not really. He's an asshole, but. We love him anyway. He tried to be a dad. I'm proud of him.

All fictional redheads are Goods But Not Really lmfao *side eyes Lavi*

Okay well. Maybe not /all/. *side eyes Cross harder*

Judge Cross all u want. Stupid fuck.

Hinata's the only ginger who'se excused.

Ok abut also Reno. Fucking Reno. RENO'S A BITCH.

Okay but I really wanna get fucking. VII remake just so I can see Reno even though Reno is the stupid fuck who takes a whole sector of a city and just. Drops it on another fucking sector oF A CITY.

I feel like Reno wears that title proudly. I almost typed tittie.

he does- S TU. IS JUTN. FUC KF.

bye isa.

IMD VHC. HE ELP.

Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

V IOLENT CO UGHING.

Wind sure is loud today.

w o w.

I WANT TO ADOPT ALL OF THE MOOGLES.

I wanna be a sky pirate.

Lavi, I can't believe you're calling Reno out.

Let Reno have the tittie of bitch.

The tittie of bitch? Really?

I CHOKED ON MY FUCKING CHILI.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

TRAITOR.

Vayne's a dick and he can go choke on it.

Larsa <3

Larsagna

*chants* SANDSEA SANDSEA SANDSEA

*chants louder* SANDSEA SANDSEA SANDSEA SANDSEA

RIP Bianca. I... almost typed Pianca. Today is a weird day for me. Fingers having a bad day. I ALMOST TYPED FINDERS. I give up.

Finders do have bad days.

My fingers are dyslexic pass it on. Calling u stupid bone sausages out.

Doug is a prime example of finders with bad days-- especially when he makes deals with the D.Gray-Devil.

DID YOU ACTUALLY ALMOST MISPELL MY /NAME/, KIT? AND did you actually mispell my name on purpose Isa, how dare.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. TOOOOOOOOOTTALLLYYYY not.

Yes.

NO. I'M SORRY. FORGIVE ME. HAVE MERCY.

No mercy.

I dunno, Isa, should I forgive you? Should I? Should I...?

Y e s. You should forgive me.

Nah.

I'm an angel, remember?

Nop.

Ye.

Angels don't talk about eiffel tower dic

besides the eiffel tower incident-- I. I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Also where tf is Hige.

Dead. I died.

u creepin u creepe-- oh there u are.

Yesterday I died~

n o p e.

Tomorrow's bleedin~

GET OUT.

And take ur pain with u >: (

t a k e s m y p a i n w i t h m e.

kIT KICKED ME OUTTTT. HE'S A MEANIEEEE.

nYEH @ KIT.

tfw you have too many muses. Shoves sheryl and the millenium b i tch out.

SANDSEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

#AESTHETIC

There's this one rare game you get by chaining 100 urutan yensa. I'm not doing that.

That's a lotta yensa.

Bye Vaan. Have a nice sleep out in the middle of the desert.

Yeah, I ditched him. I don't even care if he's asleep. I ditched him.

[catal-ys-t]

TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE

Since the famous Jenny Han’s book is now on its second sequel on Netflix, I have decided to have my own version of Lara Jean’s “unsent letter”. Who knows one of these guys might be my Peter Kavinsky, but oh, I highly doubt that. LOL

  To Mr. Know-It-All

Lots has changed since you left and being with you today seems new to me. The person in front of me right now and the person I cried about few months back is like a different person. Not that you change physically (actually you remain the same) but because I felt nothing. Feelings are just gone.

I can consider you one of the most mature "crush" I ever had. Because of you I learned that I am capable of liking someone so strong without really actually waiting something in return. Because of you, I came to know , discover and love myself even more. So Thank you.

Tho, I couldn't thank you enough for everything you did for me. You showed me how much you cared for our friendship, you saved me from my loneliness when I was starting this new life. You have given me great camaraderie that I could consider family. You taught me that life is not supposed to be always on my side, that I need to learn to let go and accept the idea that I can’t please everyone. You showed me the reality I needed to see.

I cried for you, not because you hurt me. I cried because I was foolish enough to believe in my fantasies that we could be together, that we could be more than what we are. You changed my outlook in love, life in general. You changed me. In a good way. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being a friend and a mentor. Your memories will always be cherished. 

To The “Fill-In” Boyfriend

I don’t know if you should be included here, I never liked you that way but sure, among all of them, you remain the consistent one. Consistent in a way that we are still the way we were since we’ve become friends. Maybe big factor of that is because we are not romantically involved. 

People keep shipping us together. They always quote, “sana kayo na lang” “bakit hindi nlang kayo” “bagay kayo” , sometimes I wonder if that’s true. I would be lying if I told you I did not consider you, because I did, not just once, but a couple of times. If maybe, just “maybe” we were on the same boat, I might give it a try, but we are not...and I am always reminded about our friendship. If I am not 100% sure about you, then why risk it? What we have is so special that I can’t afford to lose, especially you. 

You always supported me. Even in my craziest times, you never left my side. You know me well enough and that I could always run to you without worrying being judged. You know all my dramas and rants in life. You are definitely my ultimate human punching bag. 

You fill the role of being a “boyfriend”. : you took pictures of me in an IG worthy way, you surprises me with my favorites , you are accompanying me with my galas and whereabouts, you are always in game when I wanted to make fun and joke around. We simply get each other and these kind of things about us is worthy to be kept and I will do whatever it takes just to protect it. I hope you know how much you mean to me. 

  To Mr. Almost

I hate you for making me like you so much. We are the exact opposite when it comes to almost “everything” and yet you still manage to amaze me and flatter my heart in every single thing you do. 

We dated and hangout together, we texted and talked to each other until midnight, you waited for me after class; these are some efforts you did that I almost thought considering you. 

You were the first guy after J, I was willing to take chances with but at the end of the day, I still end up walking away. 

Life has given us so many chances to reconcile, too many times we lost touch and lost contact but keeps coming back. However, we both know that it ain’t gonna work. We were just too different. You said so yourself, it’s a good thing that we did not end up together because we will just hurt each other and ruin what we have. I couldn’t agree more. 

You made me happy. You made me angry. My friends don’t like you for me, but I ignored them because I was fixated on the idea of being with you. 

Until one day, I came to know that you were in a relationship with one of my friends back in high school few weeks after you flirted with me. W-H-A-T-A-J-E-R-K. *laughs*. But that’s okay, you see, I can’t stay mad at you knowing that we don’t really have the “label” to begin with. 

I was foolish to believe that you could change and be a better man for me, but maybe I am not the right person and reason for you to and you are not for me. But I was glad, that you’ve become honest with me and choose to be my friend rather than nothing at all. Thank you for saving us. 

  To My High School Sweetheart, 

Everyone has their “high school sweetheart”, someone they will never forget for the rest of their lives, and for me, that was you even we don’t get to go to the same high school.

Sooo Hi. This might be the nth letter I’m going to write for you. Actually, I already run out of words to say to you. I’ve been writing you a letter for ages but most of them was kept unread. I know you were too busy to care and none of those letters different with others; sorry’s and thank you’s  are probably the context. But do you know what is the difference this time? I am writing this together with the letters for the other guys I used to like and realizing how much you mean to me and how deep our bond was, than the rest of them. What I have with them  is nothing compared to what we had . It’s just magical that feels like it never happened. 

We were immaturely young. We don’t know what we are putting ourselves into. We barely understand what “love” really meant but one thing I am sure of,  you made me the happiest I could ever have been. It was like a dream. Your love was like a dream. I wish it never has to end. 

Half of me still regrets, half of me don’t. We hurt each other, caused each other’s pain, there are things that should not have been said and done. It ruined us and I know things between us may never be the same anymore, but what we had gave us the clarity and reality of what life has to offer. It was indeed a beautiful disaster.

I am who I am today because of that experience and I am so grateful to God that I came to experience such as this. I don’t know if it’s even close enough of what they called “love” but it  gives me opportunity to know myself more and realized what matters most in life.

I know God has His reason why it has to be with you. God gave me you, for a reason. We may not restore the friendship we had before, I know what we will have is better than that, besides, you are a family. 

J, Thank you for everything and I am genuinely sorry for all the trouble and dramas I’ve caused you. Immature e. hehe . 

You have a special place in my heart. Always have. Always will. 

I’ll see you soon. :) 

   To My Puppy Love,

It is funny how we never had the chance to become friends. You were friends with my friends, our families are friends, I am friends with your family but we are never friends. LOL. We were too young back then when I was infatuated with you, that I almost thought I was in love with you. I started dreaming about you and me; I even wrote my first poem for you, and oh, my first love letter is written for you too (which is read by your whole family *blush*).

I don't know what keeps me liking you for so long, maybe one factor is that we never been close, I really don’t know you and that the image of you I created inside my head is so perfect that no other guy could match it. In addition, the teased I am getting from our friends and family is endless.

I was crazy about you. You were the prince charming I’ve been dreaming since I was a kid. You were the boy in my fantasies, the love story I have written inside my head. But boy, I don’t live on fantasies anymore. I outgrow that fairy tale.

I remember that one summer when you console me because I was heartbroken. I don’t know how it started, I just woke up one morning and you were there joking around with me. And to be totally honest with you, I don’t know what to feel, I just ended up my relationship with someone and yet I was happy because you were there for me and it was so wrong to feel. That summer, I thought we could be friends…or maybe more. But no. You have a girlfriend, you told me how much you loved her and I am overwhelmed with your honesty. I liked you more for that, but not in a way that wanted you to be mine. I knew back then that I am still not over J and I am just trying to forget the pain. After that summer, we are back in our normal…we never talked again.

 For me, you will always be that person I never had the chance to be friends with, which is by the way for the best, because I want to keep your image pure and innocent. Lets keep it that way.  

Nevertheless, I have to tell you how much I owe my childhood years to you. You made it more colorful and exciting. You inspired me so much and you have been part of the person who am I today. Thank you.

All Love, 

Jes.

[zepppie]

tag game

I was tagged by @imaginingadifferentlife​! Thanks, boob. I meant to type “boo” but boob came out so... nip slip? My muse juice is currently as dry as the desert I live in so please take this as proof of life. Also don’t ever let me say “muse juice” ever again.

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I tag: e v e r y b o d y  reading this. I am a lazy piece of shite so if this looks fun to you, consider yourself it. 

the last

1. drink: i am two margarita glasses in right now whee tequila 2. phone call: my mom asking if my sister drove back home already 3. text message: my sister telling me she’s restarting her phone 4. song you listened to: Little Drop of Poison by Tom Waits 5. time you cried: like three weeks ago trying to see if i could cry on demand lol 6. dated someone twice: nah 7. kissed someone and regretted it: none 8. been cheated on: what if i told you i’ve never been in a relationship 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: in this economy? of course 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: despite what my first answer might suggest, i am a responsible drinker

3 favourite colours

12. black 13. navy blue 14. teal

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: oh yes  16. fallen out of love: oh no 17. laughed until you cried: yes most notably 1) playing a harry potter trivia game and 2) at a mcdonald’s while buzzed 18. found out someone was talking about you: lol actually  19. met someone who changed you: yessss 20. found out who your friends are: oh man the stories i could tell you 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah man 

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 98% 23. do you have any pets: sadly no :( 24. do you want to change your name: i’m keeping mine 25. what did you do for your last birthday: had dinner and watched one of my favorite local bands perform 26. what time did you wake up: i was conscious at around 4:30 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: world wide webbing 28. name something you can’t wait for: my EXO album to finally arrive skjds 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like a minute ago 31. what are you listening to right now: where is question thirty tho + my phone’s notification ringtone 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah my psychology classmate who hit on my friend the whole semester cause we were all in a group 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my roommate leaving a mess in our bathroom girl please 34. most visited website: tumblr (my personal blog) 35. hair colour: black as my soul 36. long or short hair: medium length but i like it long 37. do you have a crush on someone: [tina belcher voice] is it possible to be in love with 25 people at the same time? 38. what do you like about yourself: idk sometimes i think i’m funny 39. piercings: one on both ears 40. blood type: i wanna know too man 41. nickname: dee/dhee/zoidberg 42. relationship status: single and ready to eat pringles 43. zodiac: Taurus 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: i literally quote The Office every day in every conversation i could ever have 46. tattoos: one on my ankle of an apple core  47. right or left handed: right-handed 48. surgery: none 50. sport: chap (um ping pong?) 52. pair of trainers: where is 51 + yes i own four that i rotate through

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: tostitos scoops to pair with my ‘rita 54. drinking: my marg  55. I’m about to: lie down holy shit i was awake since 4:30 am? 56. waiting for: tonight oh~ when you would be here in my arms 57. want: to see my baby nephew 58. get married: yeah i’m traditional like that 59. career: something in the sciences; i wanna be a doctor or a NASA scientist

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: lips 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 65. hookup or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: oh MAN uhhh troublemaker?

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: nah 68. drank hard liquor: yah 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nah 70. turned someone down: yah 71. sex on the first date: nah 72. broken someone’s heart: yah 73. had your heart broken: lol yah 74. been arrested: nah 75. cried when someone died: yah 76. fallen for a friend: yah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: eh, not really 78. miracles: sure 79. love at first sight: i think i’m a hardcore romantic but no 80. santa claus: lol  81. kiss on the first date: depends on the date  82. angels: sure

OTHER: 84. eye colour: dark brown 85. favourite movie: the worst question you can ask me this requires a separate post man