#non-mutuals can like and i'll check you out when possible

[lovethegenuine]

Cut From the Same Cloth.

Art by: urinecrust on tiktok!

Read it on ao3! (kudos appreciated)

pairing: stalker/human!hector x afab/stalker!reader

Summary: An alternate reality where you've taken up stalking your next-door neighbor, Hector, only to find out he has the same sick and filthy obsession for you.

Warnings: Obviously +18, this is literally porn in essay format. non-con voyeurism (hector hides under your bed), oral sex, pnv sex, mutual stalking, biting/marking. Let me know if I missed something!

Notes: I love writing alternate realities, so don't kill me. I wanted to stalk him as much as he did for the player. Hector has me WHIPPEDDDD he's been all over my fyp so I cracked my fingers and got to fucking WORK. Originally, this was gonna be a series, but I already have a series going, and I can't focus on one thing to save the life of me, so one-shot it is! If this gets a good amount of attention, I'll consider turning this into a series. (more notes at the end for no spoilers!)

Word Count: 5.0k

Additional Notes: need that submissive hvac system

You'd always been the obsessive type.

As a kid, you would often become attached to various things, alive or material. It never did get better as you got older. In fact, the right person would consider it worse than before. However, you weren't the right person. If anything, you thought of yourself as charming. Wouldn't it be nice to be worshipped? To be loved beyond comprehension? This was always your way of justifying a lot of your weird behaviors. And it was the same for your new obsession: your next-door neighbor.

You had only seen him once, when you ran into him while leaving your home. You had given him a smile possibly too wide that he returned with a flushed face and pouted lips. That was more than enough for you to fall for him. He avoided you like the plague after, but given that you both lived side by side in an apartment building, you could hear him plenty, and you reveled in this.

All the times he spoke, coughed, or cursed. You heard it. The walls weren't thin enough to distinctly make out words, but you knew what his voice sounded like, and that's what mattered to you. Even on the nights when he moaned out just a bit too loud, you heard and cherished it.

After a month of having your new crush, you had already collected two beloved keepsakes—a recording of his moans and a piece of mail addressed with his full name.

Hector Valentino Airnesto Condicionado.

Sort of a mouthful, not that you minded. But, for the sake of quickened pleasure, you preferred to moan just his first name as you dreamt of all the ways you could confess to him.

Hector, I love you.

Hector, I need you.

Hector, let me be yours as you are mine.

Never mind the fact that you had only witnessed his existence once. Still, you continued to trace the outline of what little memory you had of him in your mind. From his brown skin, curly hair, and bushy eyebrows, to his crooked nose and faded mustache. You didn't care if these were the only traits you could recover. It was a blessing to you, nonetheless, and got you off many times.

You did, however, start to wonder if he was genuinely avoiding you, given that you never saw him again after you'd seen him in the hallway. If it weren't for the occasional sneeze or cough, you would have thought he was dead.

You did attempt to take it upon yourself to perform several wellness checks on Hector, but you could never catch a time when his door wasn't attentively locked.

Were you ugly? Was your smile too tense? Weren't you easy on the eyes? Didn't he want to see you too?

Every time you questioned yourself, it made you hot with anger. Can he see how fucking hopeless it made you to live without him? How crazy you became just at the idea of him? You started to suspect that he'd been depriving you of his presence on purpose.

He liked it—loved it, actually, to see you wallow and sulk around like a lost puppy. It was a test; you were sure of it. A test to see if you needed him as severely as you said you did.

After a whole day of working at your customer service job, you became especially riled up. You passed by his door as you did daily, but this time you stopped. Hector continued to stay hidden in the confinements of his home. Shifting your feet, you placed yourself directly in front of what now looked like the gates of heaven to you. You let one gentle fist raise as you contemplated the idea of giving his door a knock. Would he answer? What would you say if he did? I love you?

You eventually gave up and trailed back home, still yearning for just one interaction.

As you lay awake in your bed that night, you recounted that same series of questions you were forced to ask with no answer to follow. As you stirred in your anger, you slowly let your hand trail down to the waistband of your shorts. You teased yourself, pretending as if Hector was the one controlling the pace. Once you eventually let your hand enter your pants, you danced around the fold of your lips, gently dipping your fingers in and out, not yet probing yourself as you continued with your odd fantasy.

"Please, Hector. Let me feel you." You shuttered.

You hoped for a second that he'd manifest from the darkness of your apartment to take care of you. You wished so badly that he'd sense your pain and ease you with a pleasure only he could provide. If only he'd take control.

What did he smell like? What were his hobbies? Did he think you were pretty? What would he say as he fucked you? Would he be sweet or controlling? Honestly, just getting to know what he felt like would've been a gift alone. Was it bigger in width or length? Did his erection have a curve? What made him hard? What did he prefer in a partner? It didn't matter. You could become anything he wanted you to be at the drop of a hat. You'd do anything.

You eventually became so bothered that you lost control and began penetrating yourself. With two filthy fingers, you found yourself stretched around your digits as you continued to call out for Hector.

That is, until you heard his voice.

It was soft but close enough that you heard exactly what he said.

Your name in a soft whimper.

You thought for a second that you might've been mistaken, considering how close it was. It sounded crystal clear, like he was in the room with you. You put your masturbation on pause as you contemplated your sanity. Were you so pent up with lust that you started to have audible hallucinations?

Then came a soft exhale. It was crisp, not like the muffled quality you were so used to. In fact, you had half a mind to believe it came from under you. In all honesty, if Hector really were under your bed, you would jump for fucking joy. Just the idea made you shiver with delight. So, for fun, you decided to take a look.

You gathered yourself out of bed and bent under to take a peak. Aside from the occasional dust bunnies, the space under your bed was usually clear. On any night, you could look under and see the moonlight reflect off the floor across the other side. However, there was now a black mass in place of the empty space. It took your eyes a second to not only adjust but comprehend what was in front of you. When you eventually did, you were met with the awkward face of,

Hector.

His eyes were wide like a deer in headlights, frozen in place, waiting for your reaction.

You took a short breath, letting your body fall back in disbelief.

He took this as disgust and immediately fumbled awkwardly from under your bed.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll leave. I'm leaving now." He couldn't even look at you as he rambled on, apologizing profusely as he scrambled to fix himself.

He was touching himself. Not just anywhere, but under your bed. It was perverted, disgusting, horrific even. But above all things, it was filthy.

And it was your type.

Just as Hector was about to rush out of your room, you grabbed hold of the cuff of his jeans. It made him trip slightly, but it also got his attention. He looked back at you, angling his head downward to meet your eyes. He'd been so quick with his attempted exit that you hadn't really gotten a chance to look at him. Now that he was out from under the shadows of your bed, you could take in his appearance, just as you did the first day you met him.

His face was flushed, presumably with embarrassment. He looked at you like he was about to pass out. This was accompanied by his ragged breath and shaky legs. It was cute, just as you knew he would be.

"Why are you rushing to leave?" You pleaded.

You'd finally gotten what you had wished for: mutual attraction. Which is what you also assumed he'd hoped for. So you couldn't understand why he would even fathom leaving you again.

"Don't you want me to?" He squeaked.

You furrowed your brows in confusion.

"Did I say that? Come on, don't do this to me, Hector." You begged. It was slightly pathetic, but you were shamelessly desperate, and not an ounce of you could care less.

He raised his eyebrows, obviously surprised. You continued to look up at him, waiting for him to do anything. Letting go of his cuff, you watched the gears seemingly turn in his head. He looked at the exposed window in your room for a breath and then shuffled his feet to face you. You almost lost your breath as he squatted down to your level, his face now inches from yours. You felt your jaw falter as you became lost in his appearance. His mustache was fuller than before, as were his eyebrows. His brown skin was glossed with sweat that you knew would taste just as delicious as it smelled. One more second, and you would've taken your tongue to lick up the sweetness that seeped from his flesh.

He turned away from you with the same pouty lips he had in the hallway.

"Please, don't stare at me. I can't tell if you're disappointed or not." He mumbled.

His voice was meek. You could tell he wasn't much of a stand-up guy, given how hesitant he was in front of you. Was this the test? Was he behaving like this to see if you really were desperate? You finally had him, or would eventually have him. Not only that, but he presented himself to you. How sweet was he to not only return your affection but to stay.

"Disappointed?" You hurriedly closed the gap between you. With one swift motion, you took your tongue and slid it across his shut lips.

This was your way of giving your beloved consent, not that you felt he needed it. If he wanted you, he could've had you.

You leaned away for a moment to catch a glimpse of his reaction. He fell back, unable to handle his weight after your cheeky taste. He then lifted a shaky hand to cover his now immensely flustered expression.

"I've seen you already, haven't I? Hector. Valentino. Airnesto. Condicionado." You made sure to emphasize how well-known he was to you. How much care you had put into getting to know him with what little material he'd given you.

"If I was disappointed, would I be so eager to fuck you?" You leaned back into Hector's bubble, letting your hot whispers caress his slick neck.

You felt him shift under you with one nervous whimper. The faint light from the lamp on your bedside reflected off his sticky neck. Just one more inch and your teeth would collide into his sweet skin, finally getting to know what he tasted like.

"Ah, you, uh, know my full name." He sighed, his voice trembling with every word.

"Is that bad?" You replied without a beat, taking a moment to look at him from under his chin.

He fumbled over his words, taking quick looks at you before averting his eyes with growing embarrassment.

"No. It's just, well." You knew he had more to add to that thought; however, you became too impulsive at the moment.

Letting your greedy mouth take control, you began to suck at the side of Hector's neck. With every suckle, you listened as he attempted to put his thoughts into words rather than gibberish.

"God, I can't, my love, when you, please..." He tried to push you off with one weak hand to no avail.

He tasted rather salty in a way that made sense to you. It was gritty, rich, and a bit sour. Overall, it wasn't a bad taste by any means.

"I can't, I can't meet you like this." He whined.

"I'm sorry for being so desperate. Fuck!" He let out a tiny yelp once you added your teeth.

Once you had finished sucking, you unlatched your teeth from his neck. You looked at the spot you'd been working on to find a dark, purplish hickey in its place. A disgusting grin spread across your lips as you admired your creation.

As if you'd sucked out all of his energy from one kiss, he fell back now with his body entirely on the floor and under you. Seeing him sprawled out on your floor was practically a dream come true. What would you do with him first? Get to know him or get straight to business?

"This isn't how it was supposed to go!" Hector whined again, his body trembling as he attempted to slide out from under you.

"I was supposed to take you out first, get to know you, make your night. I was supposed to court you like a gentleman!" He haphazardly cupped one side of his face with one hand as he moved up.

You countered his attempts by stepping over him with every shuffle backward.

"Please, my love. I can't have you like this." He pleaded with you.

"You're a hypocrite, you know that, Hector?" You chuckled.

"You need to court me? Be a gentleman? Do gentlemen hide under the beds of the people they plan to pursue?"

He'd crawled out to the middle of your living room, making no progress in the sheepish attempt to escape from under you.

"I'm sorry, I truly meant to be patient, but after countless nights of hearing you moan my name, it was hard to stay forbearing." He finally looked up at you, meeting your eyes with a sulking expression.

"I don't need your apologies. Neither do I need you to woo me properly." You knelt your head back down to meet him almost at his lips.

"Wanna know the best way to win me over?" You snarled with bated breath.

Hector eagerly nodded his head.

"With every ounce of my being." He whispered back at you.

You cut the remaining inch between you and planted a gentle kiss on his warm yet dry lips.

"Fuck me." It was rather forward, but there was no other way to say it. You needed him.

He followed your lips as they left his, yearning to meet them again in the middle.

"Ok, I can, I can do that for you." He mumbled, returning the kiss with a more hastened attitude.

You found a comfortable spot on his lap as you finally laid your body onto Hector. With the way that you were positioned, you could feel the outline of his hard-on prodding at your pussy through the fabric of both his and your pants. It was wonderful—this moment of intimacy you could finally behold. You were on top of your cherished next-door neighbor, and kissing him at that.

After a minute of tender kisses, Hector let his hands finally touch you. Your whole body shivered as they began to roam across whatever exposed skin you had. He started at your shoulders, and soon his fingers traced down your arms, then to your back, where he rolled up the bottom of your loose tank to travel up your spine. You had planned to take advantage of the position you were both in by exploring every inch of Hector's skin, but he kept you low to him while slowly working towards eliminating your tank top. You let a series of small moans spill from your lips into the kiss. You felt his lips curl into a cheeky smile before you had to break the contact to finally remove your top.

"Contain yourself, my love. We haven't even started." Hector chuckled, still slightly awkward, but he was beginning to become more charming nonetheless.

Your chest was now exposed to him, given that you weren't ever wearing a bra. He tried to take a good look to marvel at the shape, but soon he became preoccupied again with marrying his lips against yours. So, he left it up to his hands to get to know every inch of them. He fondled your breasts with such a gentle touch that it was almost as if he believed they would shatter if he were to apply any more pressure.

You broke the kiss, which earned you some complaints in the form of whimpers from Hector. While it was cute, you paid no mind to it. Instead, you became concerned with something else: the skin under his shirt. He kept his warm hands on your breasts, groping and pinching at the tips of your nipples while you slid your hands under his top. Your fingers slowly started to become acquainted with the details of his exterior. This was, however, a challenging feat to accomplish because, with every pinch Hector gave your nipples, you tensed up with unfathomable pleasure. You felt your arms stall at his chest hair as you tried to twirl the hairs between your fingers to no avail. You didn't think you would ever be this sensitive, but soon you found yourself trembling from his comforting touch.

"Something wrong?" He cooed.

You could only whimper in response, which was pleasantly pathetic. The palms of his now increasingly hot hands slid off your delicate chest, down the sides of your quivering torso, finally finding themselves at the waistband of your shorts. With one sly finger, he tugged at the fabric, watching—waiting for your reaction.

You didn't realize it, but you'd closed your eyes shut, and it didn't occur to you until you had felt the sensation of his fingers creeping into your pants. You looked at him with eager eyes that he read immediately. Sitting up, Hector shifted his arms to cradle you as he turned the tables on you. You soon found yourself in the position he was in just a moment ago, under you. Your bare back lightly hit the cold floor, and once you were settled, he began to remove not only your shorts but your underwear as well. It was apparent that he was just as anxious to get what he'd wanted, just as you were.

"I do want to apologize for my growing absence, my beauty." He was practically salivating as he knelt down to face the entrance of your aching core.

You tried to keep a keen eye on Hector by elevating your body with your elbows, but you became so nervous that your head fell back, leaving everything he did as a surprise.

He parted your folds with two fingers and began to practically talk into your entrance.

"It was, embarrassing, to even consider showing my face after our premature meeting."

His hot breath played with the sticky skin of your cunt. With every flattering word that hit your filthy flesh, you grew more flushed and impatient. He was just as desirous but enjoyed watching you yearn for whatever—however he planned to please you. He was certainly at your service, but he planned to take his time just relishing in this newfound intimacy. He toyed with the idea of making you beg, but his lust was already unbearable. Besides, he couldn't fathom the thought of your sad puppy dog eyes as you whined for his touch. He didn't need the confirmation. Hector already knew how badly your body craved his. After all, he'd spent nights listening to your desperate yet soft cries of delectation. He couldn't bear to listen to them any longer.

With his searing tongue, Hector began to indulge in your flesh. You both had more to say to each other, but with the growing tension in the air, neither of you could take it. So straight to business it was.

Pleasure took control of you in the form of various sounds and twitches. Your hands attempted to grasp at the solid floor while your toes curled over themselves. As Hector sampled every inch of your cunt, he took one of your legs and applied it onto his shoulder. He couldn't determine if he wanted to savor your reaction or taste. For the most part, it was both. While he worshipped you with his tongue, he made sure to revel in every whimper, every moan, and every grunt that made its way from your mouth. It was his work, after all.

Soon, Hector snuck a thick digit into you, which made you yelp in shock. He chuckled while keeping his warm mouth on you. The feeling of his one finger was surprisingly different from your two fingers. Maybe it was because you weren't the one controlling the pace or the pressure. However, giving it some more thought, it was odd. He used his finger as if he were more concerned with finding a specific spot. It soon became frustrating the more he continued.

You finally let your head fall forward to look down at Hector. Once your eyes hit him, you were met with a pair of cunning yet awkward eyes staring back at you. He took his mouth off your clit just enough for you to hear him talk yet also just enough for you to feel the heat of every word.

"Unsatisfying, right?" He snickered.

You furrowed your brow at him, making him laugh harder. He was playing with you, but you couldn't determine his purpose. Frankly, he was fascinated by how you needed him so badly. To say he was aware of your obsession with him would be a significant understatement. The first time he'd heard his own name whimpered through the thin wall of his apartment, he wanted to—well, he didn't really know what he wanted to do. He never thought you would actually take a liking to him ever.

Truth be told, he was the one who liked you first. The day you knocked on his door to introduce yourself after you had moved in, he never answered. But he watched you through the peephole, too nervous to open the door. He saw your sweet, confused face as you left and vowed that one day, he'd work up the courage to ask you out. The only problem for him was his "plain face" and "ugly features". So he kept you waiting for a day when that courage came. If it weren't for how desperate he was to be near you, you would've never seen him again.

"Alright, I'll do it properly." He promised, and soon, his lips found themselves latched onto your now puffy clit while his finger pumped in and out of you at a tantalizing pace.

Once he added a second finger in the mix, it was over. You felt the heat in you boil up as you grew closer and closer to your peak. The way his tongue was shockingly attentive made you eerily jealous. How was he so good? Why was he so good? Was he with others before you? How much practice had he had?

"How are you so good-!" Your growing anger was cut off by pleasure boiling over.

He made you cum. Quicker than you could've ever managed by yourself. It was slightly embarrassing how fast he drew that out of you, but then that shame morphed into agitation as he kept going.

"I came! You can stop, please!" You whined, giving him a tiny slap on the head.

He let out a small grunt but never let up. He helped you ride out your orgasm and then some. You became dizzy and frustrated by the constant feeling of lips licking and lapping at you like a lollipop. Your whines became louder, and the pumping of his fingers grew faster. It wasn't long before he sucked another orgasm out of you. Your body fell back onto the ground as you shivered with overwhelming delight. You almost felt tears collect in the corners of your eyes. It was too much. Thankfully, he finally had his fill after you came a second time.

He crawled up away from your cunt and back up to your rosy face with delicate eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's just that, your taste is something heavenly. I felt increasingly like a ravenous dog as I ate from your sweet, sweet skin, my love." He shuttered a bit as he whispered close to your face.

You could smell yourself on his breath. It was, enthralling, to say the least. You both stared at each other for a minute, taking in the different details that made up the other person. Hector's eyes practically glowed in the darkness of your living room. He was in love, and it was plastered all over his pussy drunken face. You must've made a particularly needy face because suddenly, he leaned back and began to unbutton his pants. You scooted from under him and sat up, watching as he messed with his pants. It was funny; he was fumbling to button up his jeans just a moment ago. Now, here he was, desperate to do the opposite.

"Do you need me to tie my hair up?" You asked.

He froze and peered up at you in confusion.

"What, what do you mean?"

You froze yourself.

"What do you mean what do I mean?" You questioned. "Don't you want me to suck you off?"

"Oh. Hardly." He remarked like it was the most casual thing you could've asked.

He continued to undo the zipper of his jeans as you sat there in puzzlement.

"...Why?" You finally managed to say.

"Do you think I've been blue balling myself just to finally get a blow job? I'm sure your mouth would be something else, but I've waited too long, my love."

Without a second more, Hector pulled his already erect cock out from his jeans. Finally, you could have multiple answers to the plethora of questions you'd asked yourself plenty of nights. It was just slightly bigger in width than length. The size was quite normal but big enough to where you knew it'd hit all corners. He was also circumcised, and no, he did not have a curved erection.

You stared at his penis for longer than you should've. It was as if you'd found the correct puzzle piece, and now the picture would finally come together.

"And I'm sure you've waited too long, too, no?" He purred before scooting your body closer to his.

Your ass made an embarrassingly loud squeak as it slid across the floor. However, neither of you paid any mind because soon, Hector would be inside of you.

You let your body fall to the floor again as he lined his cock up to the entrance of your slick cunt. Slowly, he began to press it into you while holding your hips. This, of course, drew out a variety of different whimpers and whines. It wasn't entirely painful, but it was vastly different in comparison to just your two fingers. Once he bottomed you out, he looked at you and never let his eyes leave you again. You gazed back at him with a drunken expression and mopey lips. He smiled at you. It wasn't a malicious grin but a smile that matched the same tenderness that had run through him since the beginning. He began to pump in and out of you, watching the dissimilar faces that your features contorted into.

"You have a lovely face when you cum." He whimpered with a very meek voice.

You tried to remark with something but were too lost in the embrace of Hector to even think of what you'd say. This is how it went for the next five minutes. He would feed you sweet nothings, possibly fishing for a slurred yet coherent response, only to be met with a series of loud whines and gibberish. Through the sounds of slaps and your own enjoyment, you could hear Hector's voice begin to crack with every other sentence. Almost as if he was about to finish.

"Did you want to try a different position, my love? Or-!" Before he could conclude whatever he meant to say, he came.

It was fast. Quicker than you thought sex with Hector would be like. You felt his hot semen flood into you as he grunted and whimpered, tightening his grip on your hips as he whined the words, "I'm sorry!"

You watched as he averted his eyes from you with a guilty expression. Shivering, you propped yourself up and out of his lap with your hands. His penis slid out of you as you moved, and soon you felt his sperm do the same. You placed a gentle but shaky hand on his cheek, guiding his face back to yours. The remaining arm holding you up felt like jello. He'd somehow drained every bit of you. If he had came too fast this time, you didn't even want to imagine what sex would be like on his good days. His eyes found your face again, and he placed his now sticky hand atop yours. Another lovely smile painted itself across his lips, and like a disease, his visual delight spread to you. A grin likewise of the same loveliness soon laid itself on your face.

Nothing was said at that moment. The silence between the both of you was enough to say what needed to be said.

"I love you."

Well, maybe a couple of words needed to be spoken.

Regardless of the timing and the duration of what happened between you. It was still bound to be the start of a rather eccentric relationship. You were made for each other, and nothing would be better.

"I love you, too."

End Notes: I was originally going to include a plethora of things. Hector was actually going to drill a hole in your wall, but I didn't know how I'd make that work. I was also going to have you and Hector go a second round, but again, I'm unmedicated, and if I randomly go to TikTok instead of finishing my fanfiction again, I WILL kill myself. ALSOOO i want this blog to be filled with hector for a month so PLEASE if you want anything hector REQUEST IT!

[mikuni14]

Spare Me Your Mercy - Ep 1-5

I've seen so many different opinions about this series that I decided to check it out myself 😄

I liked the first 5 episodes, but I generally like detective series, especially those set in the provinces, in the backwoods, with a local network of weird relationships, hierarchies, dependencies, family connections. A serial killer killing terminally ill patients is an interesting plot. In that respect, the series is good to watch.

As for BL… well. How can I say this… there's no BL here? 😁 I'll be honest: this is absolutely NOT the second MoD. I have to say that I don't think I've ever seen an officially BL series that was so very non-BL. Which is very funny when I think about non-BL series that couldn't be gayer, even if the MLs had sex on screen. Beyond Evil, The Devil Judge, Killer and Healer, or even High School Frenemy are non-BL series where the MLs act like their on-screen partner is the most important person in their lives with a complete, full-ass obsession and fixation on that person, with an unearthly mental and physical chemistry sparking between them. One gesture, one sentence from any of the above series is more charged with emotion and eroticism than the entire 5 episodes of SMYM, I know you know what I mean.

In the case of MoD, with all due respect to people comparing those two series, Tan and Bun have scenes together where you can clearly see their growing fascination with each other, their relationship develops logically and linearly, and the possibility that one of them could be a murderer is an important part of the plot and a source of genuine despair and fear for the other man. I have the impression that if Kan turned out to be a murderer, the Captain would be like: oh, that's sad. Anyway. 😆

In SMYM, the actors have zero chemistry, they are awkward, not comfortable with each other physically, and we as viewers are INFORMED about their mutual interest 😆 This is something I think I've never encountered before - to create a romance that needs to be talked about, because without words it's nonexistent. For example, when Kan tells Tew at the beginning that he knows he's interested in him, I was like: ???? You know? How? Where did this guy even suggest that? As a viewer I think he wants to arrest you!

I don't know if it's a matter of acting, or directing, or filming this series, but the fascination between lovers in romantic productions is usually shown through looks, stares, gestures, facial and body play, conversation, when the characters show that the other person has an effect on them, for example, that they smile, when they think about them or see them, they are flustered, embarrassed, shy, aroused. When the sudden proximity of the other person causes emotional turmoil. Just compare the scene when Bun is tending to Tan's wounds and when Kan is sitting next to Tew with a head wound. There's nothing there. Again, all I can think is that the cop wants to arrest the doc! Arrest! Not kiss! I admit that their scenes together make me feel awkward and I burst out laughing in embarrassment when they start "flirting" and there is no romantic emotion behind their words. It's a very funny feeling. I just need to believe in the feelings between the characters and here I don't believe in it for a second. They don't just sell it to me, sorry.

I'm interested in the series and I intend to watch it until the end. But honestly, this is the first time in my life when I would prefer if MLs were just bromance, not romance, because this relationship is one big nope, it kinda feels.. forced? What's more, I'll write something I never expected to write: I would even prefer if they didn't kiss, when at the same time I would give my left kidney for just one Saint and Shin kiss lmao

(I don't want this post to sound like I don't like this show, because I do! even with all the awkwardness of the romance 😊)

[possibly-evil]

Intro Post

name- lucifer or possibly-evil

pronouns- they/he/she/it

strawpage

more under the cut-

updated as of Feb 21, 2025

ahoy there Tumblr person who decided to read my intro post! nice to meet you!

my name's Lucifer (not really), but if you don't feel comfortable calling me that, my url is just fine.

my pronouns are they/he/she/it, and neopronouns are also fine! here's my pronoun page, with more info on what you can call me!

I love to make mutuals!! I might not send asks or DMs because I am terrified of making people feel like I've overstepped boundaries, but if you interact first I will talk to you all the time :3 I also get (jokingly) really mad at my friends, so if I ever seem angry I'm probably not, I'm usually just being silly.

my main interests:

Team Starkid (current favorite show(s): Little White Lie & Starship)

Musical Theatre (current favorite non-starkid show: Singin' In The Rain)

Gravity Falls

The Magnus Archives

Studio Investigrave / SIGverse

The Amazing Digital Circus

Epic The Musical

my other interests include:

Jackon's Diary, Psych, Community, Parks & Rec, Murder Drones, SNL, Mouthwashing, FNAF, and more!

OTP: ???

OT3: Don Lockwood/Cosmo Brown/Kathy Selden (Singin' In The Rain)

feel free to send me asks. they don't even need to be about anything in particular. I just crave human interaction. please.

I'm the creator of It Works- TGWDLM AU. (And that's exactly how I'll be tagging it when I post about it). Currently an Ao3 fic is in progress, so we'll see how long it takes to make.

my sideblog/rp blog(s) are:

@hatchetfieldsports - the Hatchetfield High football stars, cheerleaders, and mascot!

@hatchetfieldfieldreporter - OC blog!

@possibly-moodboards - moodboard/stimboard acc!

my closest Tumblr fwendy-wend is @bestbeeking! go check out his blog, they have very similar interests to me.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I may post about Harry Potter and/or the Very Potter Trilogy. I am in no way a supporter of J.K. Rowling or a TERF. If this bothers you, I’ll be sure to tag all my posts relating to the original and Starkid Harry Potter versions with trigger/content warnings.

other links:

AO3

Spotify

Strawpage

userbox credits: basilpaste (Grace Chasity), kthecritter (Pokey), wombbatical (HMB), cheruvic (this user derogatory)

[dressuparley]

✨Garry Plays FFXIV✨

☆Hi, I'm @gigarchomp (aka Garry) and this is my FFXIV sideblog where I use my ten million OCs and events from the game as material for writing practice (well, in theory, at least). Mostly I'm just here to rotate the camera around my WoL Arley and take 2837388237 low quality screenshots. But... yeah.

☆If you want a proper introduction + "about me" post, you can find it here.

☆Here's my 📖 writing + 🎨 art + 📸 gposes.

☆Keep reading for characters, links, tags, and more info!

My OCs & AUs

☆My main (technically all alts but still) FFXIV characters are (L-R; image to be added lol):

- Arley Marston (🏷️) (inspo) - MNK-main Midlander Warrior of Light. My very first (and unintentional) OC, so shares some of my physical attributes. Ships herself with Thancred. Only an alt in-game, but the main (blorbo) of my heart <3

- J'ahden Kaji (🏷️) (inspo) - Arley's adopted Seeker elder brother. Not affiliated with any Miqo'te tribe. Co-WoLs (albeit Echo-lessly) with Arley when necessary

- Rymmgeim Junghyltwyn (🏷️) (inspo) - WAR-main Sea Wolf, also has the Echo, joined the Scions and became one of Arley's most dependable allies in combat

… and various other minor characters to supplement their lore.

☆The (alternate) universes my OCs feature in are:

- Main Scenario Quests AU (🏷️) - follows the main story of the game very closely, with Arley in the Warrior of Light role. Most of my fic is based in this world

- Roleplay AU (🏷️) - aka non-WoL!AU, for whenever I'm struck with the fancy to RP with others on Arley as just another Regular Adventurer. Differs as little or as much from MSQverse as is suitable for whatever the RP content is

- The Epilogue (🏷️) - though not an "AU" as such, this post-timeskip period a decade or so after the events of the actual game is the one I'm (most) hopelessly obsessed with, because it stars my beloved "grandkids" (i.e. the children of my first-generation characters)

- Modern AU (🏷️) - aka Community College AU, a silly idea that grabbed me by the throat and would not leave me alone when I was exploring what Arley and Thancred's relationship would be like under entirely different circumstances

- Minfilia Lives AU () - been getting brainworms about how close and meaningful Minfilia and Arley's friendship was, and how it could have possibly gradually blossomed into romance had a certain goddess not summoned Minfilia to another world

Points Of Note

☆Unfortunately I have constant wolcred brainworms, and somehow ended up with THE lamest wolcred ship you've ever seen. In fact, I've become so insane about this stupid M/F ship (first time for everything I guess 🤷), that I've started seeing them everywhere, and I'm gonna make this everyone's problem. Consider yourself duly warned.

☆Still sortakinda trying to avoid ShB, EW, and DT spoilers as I'm a broke third-worlder on the free trial, so please excuse me if you see me shyly lurking for now!

☆I try to tag my own posts exhaustively, but I'm terrible with my reblogs (and I reblog a metric ton of XIV-related stuff to this sideblog. Seriously). Still, here's my tag list anyway. Please let me know if you need any tags added to something!

☆I follow hundreds of blogs and only check Tumblr for a few minutes a day, so I inevitably end up missing 99.9% of the cool stuff my mutuals post. If you've made something you think I'd enjoy, feel free to tag me (in a reblog or something), I swear I'll be happy to see it! :D (+ This is also your daily reminder to self-reblog the things you are proud of!!!)

☆I'm non-Caucasian, queer, neurodivergent and disabled, so this blog is anti-bigotry, anti-fascism, anti-generative AI, etc etc. A go-to saying I try to live by is "thou shalt err on the side of compassion." Probably should add more to this point, but nothing is coming to me at the moment. Maybe you can check out my "about me" post.

Credits

☆Divider credits to @cafekitsune

☆Header image credit to @fourteenthz for the awesome edit of an official FFXIV artwork!

[catcorsair]

Sigh

To the anon who has been stalking my posts / inbox (oh, I'm sorry, you did say you were 'a different anon' this time with a very carefully curated narrative voice in exact opposition to your last! My bad!) before I stop humoring you and your apparent crusade to do ....what exactly:

1) Yes, I did post an incredibly mundane two-sentence vent post weeks ago referencing my disappointment in a personal writing relationship outside of fandom, which I deleted all of two minutes later. Because that's how shouting into the void works on one's Anonymous Online Blog. I'm not sure, however, why you are fixating on (and possibly attempting to chastise me for??) my calling someone physically 'ugly' in it, when I said nothing of the sort - in so many words, I tagged an unnamed person's attention seeking behavior as being Not Cute, though if I had said the behavior was ugly, that's perfectly reasonable and has nothing to do with making fun of Erik's face (??) or even theirs. Sue me for being annoyed at someone I guess. Was it my best moment? Absolutely not! Was it a shining example of personal maturity? No way! Am I entitled to talk about my personal life however I like? Shockingly, yes. Though I am not sure when weeks-old personal vent posts became so important to strangers who have no idea what they are in reference to that they fixate on them for weeks trying to rehash. Might I suggest ignoring posts that have nothing to do with you and affect you in no way?

2) Similarly confused as to why you are accusing said two-sentence vent of being a "drunken rant" that I tried to hide by "deleting the evidence of everywhere after". Yes I deleted it, here where it was posted, right after posting, and never claimed otherwise. I posted it nowhere else, nor have otherwise spoken about what it referenced in any other fandom spaces. I have addressed every one of your weirdly obsessive messages publicly without deleting those... and besides a few close friends and mutuals who reached out as friends do to check in, I have only heard anything negative regarding it from you, even if I did plug in all my usual fandom tags like a dope - a friend pointed that one out to me, though I'd already deleted it by then, so such is life. Bold assumption on your part, though, of my being drunk. Maybe I was! Maybe I wasn't. I can't actually remember because even I don't obsess over something I posted and then forgot about weeks ago. No shame in a drunken rant though, either - everyone should try it sometime, including you. It's quite cathartic. Again might I suggest.... move on

3) What is your purpose here? What are you hoping to achieve by continuously telling me off for ....what? Being upset about friendship complications in my writing life outside of fandom? I know you aren't the person in question, so what exactly does this have to do with you that you've made a mission of trying to attack(?)/guilt(?)/berate(?) me for it? I think if you actually did know the whole situation (which you absolutely Will Not) you would not be so bold. But either way, this is MY personal blog. I am not a public figure or politician - you have no say in what I can or cannot post here, or how I should feel or behave. I owe you absolutely nothing. What if - and here's a novel thought - you just avoided the people and blogs you don't like?

4) I can only infer that this is a personal issue, and because I am generally very non combative or reactive online, you are taking advantage of what you can to feed whatever need you have. If I have inadvertently upset you in some way I apologize, though I am going to take the liberty of making one assumption myself - I don't think your behavior has much to do with me at all. I normally like to keep anon asks open for shy fic talk, but I have better things to do (like create holiday magic for a preschooler) than be the landing place of your misguided projection so I'll be closing them for a while - if you want to continue whatever this is you'll have to do so with your name attached (though I have a feeling I won't be hearing from you again.) I'd suggest unfollowing or blocking me and avoiding my posts if they bother you, and I really hope you do that! So with the utmost respect ... shoo

Happy Holidays!

<3

[deadgirlwalking91]

I pray to you, deadgirlwalking91. Let Adam blow his shot in Lute and Layla in your upcoming fic Three's Company. Allow Lute to see Layla in a different light. And lastly, please keep Layla happy and satisfied by the end of the fic. She deserves a wonderful time with the two angels she loves the most!

I hope you are enjoying your day and staying well rested to write these fics.

Hey Anon!

Okay first things first, I am beyond excited that people are actually invested in Three's Company! I know OC characters and fics with them as the focus can be super hit or miss, so I'm really excited that people are rooting for Layla (pun totally intended haha). Fic spoilers below the cut:

The good news is, everybody gets a happy ending this fic, including Layla! Adam does too, but it's not about him so it's basically going to be a non-event. There will be a bit of a running gag about him being forgotten/shoved to the sidelines as well.

As for Lute... I think her eyes are going to be opened to a lot of stuff by the end of this fic, haha. It's all from her POV so we get all her inner thought process during this fun little ménage à trois.

Something I do want to preface this with actually is that yes, this fic is possibly going to be one of the filthiest (in a good way, I hope) things I ever write.

B U T

There's also going to be a lot of I guess, mutual respect? that all parties have for one another in this fic. It might be a wild time but that doesn't mean things like consent, checking in and consideration of pre existing relationships go out the window. No one is going to be forced into anything they're not comfortable with. Consent is sexy, y'all.

Also, I'll be tagging everything that goes on in this one, so no one is surprised when certain acts happen.

And thank you! I am have a good day thank you. Sadly not relaxing as I'm pretending to be working but will aim for some writing soon! <3 I hope you're having a great day too, Anon!

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 34- Part 1

So, as usual, the first thing I need to do is check what today's weather is. Just step outside, and…

It's rain! Can I get any new unique events with that…? I don't think so, but that's fine, there are still things I can do to prepare, and they involve going back to Reborn proper.

Still doing this, of course I wouldn't leave a chemical tank behind.

Huh? It's clear now? So even the Wasteland has its own weather system?? Or maybe that gate blocks out more than just toxic waste…

Well…okay, not like that changes too much. In fact, it opens up one extra encounter, starting…here!

There's one specific building to visit, namely this apartment building, and you talk to the guy next to the elevator-

Who is…one of Fern’s old lackeys? From when Xera was trying to get the second Badge? An unexpected return, but…okay, sure.

And now we can use the elevator! Off we go to touch some non-toxic, non-purple grass!

Ah yeah, that's the good stuff. 

Anyways, I see one yellow thing hiding behind the tree up there, but there's a second yellow thing behind the entrance that I wanna pick up beforehand-

Embargo…okay, I'll bite, perhaps that could be used for something or another.

More importantly, the Pokémon I came to find!

Yup, it's Pichu! And…I don't even think I need to do anything to it, I think I can just chuck a Poké Ball.

I forgot to screenshot it, but I named her Jolt. Figured it would work given the association with sudden, light discharges electricity, and that's Pichu’s…thing, so, yeah. 

Next, we return to the site of where STUFF happened- Apophyll Beach!

And I proceed to give myself further psychic damage in the name of expanding Xera's Boxes by re-entering none other than…

So this next event is a bit…weird. It's better seen than explained, I think. The first place I'm gonna go is down to this lava island-

And as you can see, there's a glowing rock over there, despite the lava from the floor above having been drained back during the Team Meteor stuff. For you see, if we use Rock Smash on this alleged rock…

…It's…It's actually just a normal rock…?

Um! No worries! No worries, I just need to go to a different location. With this, we check this other lava island, and lo and behold…

Uhwahbuhhuhwhuhuuuh-???

Okay so I'm gonna have to explain things after all-

Basically, this event is supposed to be one of two possible Pokémon: Turtonator (the first one I checked) or Heatmor (this second one here). They are mutually exclusive, you can only encounter one or the other, not both. This isn't the first time Reborn’s done something like this, like- the special Eggs Xera's found (like where Kirin came from) can be select pools of possible Pokémon, or the encounter where she got Streak the Zangoose could have equally been a Pachirisu instead. In those cases, however, the locations and sequence events are the same, the only difference is the Pokémon you get at the end. Here, however, the locations and things needed for Heatmor or Turtonator are more different, which is what makes this one so interesting.

But I guess none of that matters, because Xera isn't allowed to have either of them! What happened, huh? Some kinda bug or something? No new Fire-types here, I suppose…

…Actually- according to the guide I use for these, the Magcargo you encounter for breaking non-glowing lava rocks also count as special encounters. …Hmmm.

Wow everyone, look at that! Look at that Magcargo I definitely caught from Pyrous Mountain, I definitely didn't evolve the Slugma Xera happened to obtain much earlier in the game, nope! No way!

Next

[kwaggysshardmindemporium]

I feel like explaining what went down with the latest MtG bans to my non-MtG mutuals. For some reason.

So, what is likely to be the single most controversial ban announcement in Magic the Gathering history just dropped. They banned four cards: Mana Crypt, Jeweled Lotus, Dockside Extortionist, and Nadu, Winged Wisdom.

All these bans are for the Commander format, which for our purposes if you don't play just means "the actual popular format where if some rando asks if you play Magic this is probably what they mean."

Let's start with the one that ISN'T controversial. Nadu, Winged Wisdom was a design mistake. It came out in a set aimed at one specific tournament format (Modern), immediately turned out to be both wildly overpowered, unfun to play against, and caused games to drag out into these slogs where the Nadu player is sitting there twiddling with their thumbs doing the same one or two game actions over and over again but targeting a different one of their guys. It was quickly banned in the very format that set was designed for, and that banning came with an article explaining that he was straight up a mistake and they hadn't tested the version of the card as it went to print before they had to push the set out the door. The ban yesterday was banning it in MtG's most popular format, Commander, where basically anyone who hadn't gone out of their to buy the card wanted it gone for the same reasons Modern wanted it gone. He was overpowered, but the actual problem is just if you're looking to play a one or two hour 4-player game, the Nadu player took an hour and a half of it to themself and didn't necessarily win because of it.

Now, into the controversial ones. Mana Crypt. Mana Crypt is a staple of the highest power decks in the Commander format. Many, many people have said if your deck has this card in it, it cannot possibly be below a 8 or 9/10 on the power scale. The cheapest printing of this card, before the bans, was roughly $200. It was one of the biggest gates you had to pass through to play "big kid" competitive Commander is getting one of these fuckers. This card has no in-game cost to play, and effectively reads "immediately accelerate your game plan two turns forward or more, but there's a 50/50 chance you take a trivial amount of damage every turn." It's pretty good. If you play any turn based game, you can probably guess how good skipping past the need for setting up for later more powerful turns can be. It's now banned, and has lost more than half of that price tag immediately and is still dropping. A lot of people's collections just had a chunk of their value go up in smoke. There's gonna be a LOT of people for whom this was the most valuable card they owned.

Jeweled Lotus. This card is very similar to Mana Crypt. A little more context about the Commander format: it's named that way because every deck has a "commander" that you can always play, and your gameplan is generally centered around that commander. Jeweled Lotus essentially says "play your commander specifically three turns early one time." Obviously, this is good for the same reason Mana Crypt above is good. Skipping the setup and getting straight to the action while your opponents are still getting into gear? Obviously good. It was about $100 before the ban, and is now about $40 and dropping.

And lastly, Dockside Extortionist. Dockside comes down sometime around turn 2 or 3 based on his cost to play, and basically says "when I come into play if your opponents are doing okay in their gameplan, put your gameplan ahead by about 4 turns. If your opponents are doing WELL, blast off on a jet of value so insane that you should probably quit Magic if you fumble this win." So it's both a punishment for your opponents' having dared play the game, AND good for the same reasons as the previous two cards. It was about $90 before the bans and I'll be honest I can't be bothered to check now.

These three cards were, collectively a few vertebrae in the spine of competitive Commander decklists, which probably tells you a lot of what to expect in that space: decks looking to win fast or die trying, willing to throw absolutely any card at you regardless of how much that card COSTS. There's plenty of other cards that do similar things to this, but these were three BIG deals in that space, which means that players now need to seek alternatives to fill the holes in these deck lists. High power Commander decks, as a whole, just got a LOT slower in how many turns they take to win the game on average.

And I couldn't be happier. To be clear, I own a copy of every single one of these cards besides Nadu. I have competitive Commander decks. My collection has lost value and I have had to try and figure out replacements in the decks running these cards. But forcing the foot slamming down on the gas pedal to lighten up a little bit sounds like something the game could actually use. I'm eager to see what the competitive meta looks like in the coming days. What do people gravitate towards? The meta isn't basically solved anymore. (I mean, it kind of is because the cards that actually WIN the game in the most efficient way didn't get banned, but hey they at least take longer to do it now.)

[hateshinaii]

hello all!! this is an indie, fandomless oc rp blog for my oc himura rei, written by milk. on my pinned post, you'll find all relevant links/info here for my blog. if i'm not here, you can probably find me on one of my other blogs: @blastintriumph @uravityplus @impishsensei @muryonokansei @fatuispolaris @balemccn.

please be sure to read my rules before interacting/following.

carrd || interest check || wishlist (wip) ||

for ease of access, my rules are also placed under the cut!

 001  DO NOT interact if we are not mutuals. this includes liking my posts and sending me messages. it makes me uncomfortable. for personal blogs: please do not follow/like/reblog my posts. doing so will result in an immediate block.

 002  DO NOT pester me if you follow me, aka, don't follow and unfollow then follow again to get my attention. if i haven't followed you back yet, it's likely i haven't noticed. if it's been over a week and i'm constantly active and still haven't followed back, sorry, but i probably don't see us interacting and won't be following back.

 003  i am very unlikely to follow if you don't engage in typical tumblr rp etiquette. i don't care if you use icons or not, because i likely won't use them often myself. i mean stuff like tagging and cutting your posts. heavy amounts of ooc posts (like 10+ a day in an hour) is also something i don't like to see. if you do this, please don't follow me. i don't mean to sound like a bitch but tumblr is super broken and a clogged dash makes it harder to navigate, especially when it's so easy to miss notifications.

 004  if we're mutuals and you're gonna unfollow me for whatever reason, please softblock. i'm not your fan and i'm not gonna interact with people that aren't interested in interacting with me, so please and thank you!

 005  i heavily prioritize chemistry. my blog is multi-ship, so any relationships my muse develops will take place in separate verses unless stated otherwise. although i love shipping, rei is hard to ship with because he's extremely non-committal. i'm not opposed to making pre-established dynamics, especially for au plots. if we talk and something sounds exciting i'll be up for it lol. i just don't want something forced out of nowhere. flirting between muses is fine.

 006  i personally have no triggers and don't need anything tagged. if you have any that might not be as common, please let me know. i will cover dark topics in my writing. there will possibly be mentions of murder, child abuse, human trafficking, blood/gore, toxic/unhealthy relationships and so on featured on my blog. i will tag what i feel needs to be tagged.

 007  i’m okay with one-liners, crack, multi-para, novella… everything! feel free to send in any ask memes if we haven’t roleplayed before.

 008  if i haven't replied in two weeks and i'm not on hiatus, that means i probably lost our thread or it’s sitting somewhere in my drafts and I haven’t noticed it, so please message me to remind me. i drop roleplays sometimes out of a loss of interest but please don't blame yourself. i’m always happy to start/write more regardless of dropping previous threads.

 009  typical dni stuff applies, you already know the drill. ALSO, i ask that minors DON’T follow my blog. i don’t want to be the reason anyone sees something inappropriate for their age. if you’re a minor & i accidentally followed you, let me know & i’ll unfollow you immediately.

 010  DON'T involve me with drama OR send messages telling me to reblog callout posts or anything like that. i don't care for getting involved with petty roleplay drama. if it's something actually serious, i've already seen it on the dash and taken note. seriously, i will hardblock anyone that pesters me with this nonsense.

 011  there will very likely be nsfw content on this blog so if you’re uncomfortable with that just blacklist the the following tags, as i tag all my nsfw posts with the following: “cw nsfw”, “nsfw //”, and “( nsfw. )”. feel free to ask me to tag anything you need tagged. i am 27, so if a roleplay should ever come around to it I will only write smut with partners that are also of age & that i feel comfortable writing smut with. If you’d rather not roleplay smut publicly, I’m cool with continuing roleplays on discord. I’m also open to just private RPs (not necessarily smut) on discord too, just ask/lmk you’re interested!

 012  i don't practice reblog karma so idc if you get your memes from me, but i do ask that you please reblog from the source and not from me!

[melancholy-menagerie]

(( Going out on a limb a lil in an attempt to write more here and with the aim of writing with more people, so I'm leaving this here w/ the hope of being able to start some new threads and interactions together! 0v0

This blog is a mixed fandom multi: a bit of a WIP / some canon divergence / highly HC-based / all muses (regardless of fandom) adapted for anime RP / & a side-blog~!

-- Muse Fandoms present: ●Game of Thrones (books) ●Hannibal (show) ●Terra Formars ●Hunter x Hunter ●07Ghost (manga) ●The Picture of Dorian Gray (book) ●Akame Ga Kill ●One Piece ●Boku no Hero Academia (My Hero Academia) ●Hellsing (Ultimate & manga) ●K project ●Psycho-Pass ●Black Clover ●Fire Force (Enen no Shouboutai) ●Trinity Blood (manga) ●Dexter (books) ●Kuroshitsuji (anime: season 1) ●Darker Than Black ●Yu-Gi-Oh! ●Juni Taisen: Zodiac War ●Beelzebub ●Trigun (manga) ●Tokyo Ghoul (divergent) ●Buddy Daddies ●Chainsaw Man ●Jujutsu Kaisen ●Tiger & Bunny ●Bungo Stray Dogs

        check out the roster list              ~ muse bios are here ~

Feel free to come interact with me on my other RP blogs too!     ~They vary in activity, and feature Bleach fandom muses~

        ● my (main) Tsukishima blog: bookofaion         ● my Bleach multi: bleach-menagerie

check out my other blogs, and feel free to like this post if you want to discuss plotting/interactions in general on this blog (pls have at least a vague idea beforehand of which muse/s interest you)

-– Ane, the mun ))

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Moving update

I'm grateful to the folks checking in on me and @crowtoed and thought I'd drop a quick update.

We're almost done putting all non-essentials in storage. The many bins are an investment in case we have to do this again. (I have already started researching shipping containers for an overseas move.) I'm going to buy storage unit insurance this week because I have more valuables stowed away than standard homeowners will cover.

My storage unit is almost the same size as the moving truck, which makes it easy to guage if I have to purge/store anything that won't fit. I'm going to hire the biggest trailer from upack.com when it's time to leave. The prices are amazing - less than $4k to move to Connecticut.

The Florida realtor (a condo expert) is viewing my place tomorrow, and with her advice, we'll start on final repairs/refreshes (this place is 23 years old, about when things like windows and tile get rather iffy). My mother graciously gifted me money to cover the majority of the fixes. This move would be a lot harder without her help.

Mom is also letting us stay short-term in her MiL suite a few towns over, so we can sell my condo asap. That means we don't have to worry about timing the purchase of the new house with closing on the old. Plus, I should have a few paychecks rent-free I can sock away / apply towards mutual aid.

We're hoping the condo sells by June or so. Once that happens, I'll use some of the funds towards old debt to nudge my credit rating ever closer to 800 (it's 778 rn, a multi-year project as I used to be in the 400s). Most of the rest of the money will be earmarked for a generous down payment on the new home.

We're still looking in Connecticut and have a realtor there as well. If it's possible, we can afford to fly up a few times to check out houses. The realtor told us our budget for what we want (1500sq ft or larger) is totally doable. The housing market there is weirdly reasonable.

Work is incredibly kind and has said if I need more than 2 weeks to move, I can take whatever time I need. I am fully remote now and blessed to be part of such a progressive company.

We still have some household and personal things to sell, but it's more out of "I no longer like/need this" than an urgent need for money. But thank you to everyone who has offered cash. It means so much to us to have such a strong safety net. If this happened even 5 years ago, we'd have been up shit creek.

Once we close on the new house, we'll drive up asap to move in. This is when we'll know our route and we'll connect with folks along it who have offered to be pitstops for us and the cats. The moving truck will meet us there in 5-7 business days after we leave Orlando.

My HRT Rx also got renewed for 6 months, and with my current stash + a little rationing, I shouldn't have any interruption with my shots, even if pharmacies start refusing me come July.

We're hoping to be all settled in the new home come October, but are dependant on the housing market. But we're stacking as many chips in our favor as we can.

Again, thank you, thank you to everyone who has reached out. I'll update again when something major changes.

[iobartach]

guidelines

hello there! 👋

the basics

mun is 31+ years old / irish / gmt+0 time-zone

call me Nix! I track the #iobartach tag

i work a full-time job, and, as of April of 2025, have additional responsibilities to manage, soooo real life will take priority over tumblr'ing at all times.

hence, it will mean that thread replies will be slow! like, a few weeks slow, so sorry in advance about that!

discord available on request! highkey more likely to catch me on there than on tumblr ims!

the mun

i have no triggers; and I am open to rping just about anything but smut!

shipping? ehhhhhhhh we’ll seeee :’) i'm kinda the type to ease into that stuff, if at all, and prefer to plot and build up connections between characters over time/threads. so, friendships, rivalries and the like? 👀 sign me up for such plots!

not mutually exclusive! feel free to follow, or just admire from afar, i have no problem as long as my activity feed doesn't get spammed with mass likes lol

i'm all for following and interacting with other miguels out there, too! keep up the good work! 💪

i absolutely adore crossovers of all types! i would be delighted to throw miguel at you! in fact, given previous experiences, i lean and favour crossovers in general

will rp with canons & oc’s!

the muse

this blog will feature my own take on miguel o'hara, and is mainly inspired by the across the spider-verse film and my own hcs!

i also draw influence from the 2099 comics, as well as the usual scifi / dystopian things; bladerunner, cyberpunk 2077, altered carbon to name a few, so if there's anything you'd like to know or clarify, feel free to reach out!

given the nature of this muse (read; freaky half-spider lad), themes of body horror and experimentation will crop up from time to time, but i try my best to put such darker stuff under read mores & attach 'tw'/trigger tags on it!

now for the fun stuff!; for those unfamiliar with this muse, read here for his bio!

if verses / alternate realities are your thing, click here to browse what au's i've added so far!

for those wondering what kind of ideas i'm itching to write, check 'em out here!

and for the curious, given my love for creating story arcs / 'chapters' as i'm calling them, you can read up on what i've put together so far here!

do's

asks! send 'em! have fun! you'll find memes here, and i always answer asks that i'd love to continue in new posts. plus, from now on, i will start to link to said posts when answered!

plotting! i'm gonna try to lean into this more, as worldbuilding is just so much fun to me. <3 i love to craft what i call 'chapters' for miguel, which are essentially story arcs, and you can find 'em listed here!

randomly interactions? yesss please! i loooove receiving random asks with a bit of context to them <3

but also, don't be afraid to speak up if anything i write is just shit or hard to bounce off of -- please tell me!

don'ts

my version of miguel is not here to be either an instant ship or a punching bag. i understand the appeal and the temptation, and that, particularly in the across the spider-verse movie, he's coded as the antagonist, but please don't assume he's here for automatic smut, or to be hated on or humiliated by your characters! cheers!

for the anons exclusively; don't send me anything heinous / aimed at underaged muses. i'll just end up deleting it.

don't respond to an answered meme or starter that i tagged you in within the past 3 months? i'm gonna take that as a sign that there's no interest, so i'll be softblocking and moving on. i completely understand that shit happens, but at the same time, my time on here is not infinite, and my patience is even less so.

i ain't your local resource blog, so please reblog any memes / musings / artwork / anything non-rp thread from the source, if available, or an older repost if possible. repeat offenders will be blocked !

for the marvel rpc blogs; i won't follow first, and will be asking to plot. i've bounced in and out of this particular rpc for the better part of 12 years, with several different marvel muses, that i've just become so jaded and tired by the cliques and the toxicity and the general bullshittery that goes on within it. so if you want to interact with miguel? please approach me first.

disclaimer; i may be more lenient with the above if i've known you for a few months or more; i'm just sick to death of starting threads and they end up going to waste

closing word

thank you for reading through this! ultimately; don't be a dick, and let's have some fun! <3

We're here for a good time Not a long time (not a long time) So have a good time The sun can't shine every day

[mister13eyond]

Do you have a tag for your one shots and/or more writing pieces about Diavolo & Doppio? :"-) I really have to say I appreciate the way you portray them both & how their weird quirks match together. It's more then just the typical big mean top and little twink boy stereotype.

Also if you ever resume roleplaying, please mention it 🙏

Ahhhh thank you so so much!! That's an honor to hear? I definitely think these two have such a rich possibility to be such delightfully weird little men, and to enable each other in some ways- they've spent their whole lives covering up for each other, and it's a mutually protective relationship, so I don't think either of them has ever felt the need to hide their weird quirks when it comes to each other, you know? Who can love you better and more unconditionally than the person who's lived inside your heart your whole life?

I don't have a set tag yet- I should probably change that!! I'll have to go back and add it to my previous drabbles/headcanons, but for now here's links to the ones I remember/can find:

Domestic DiaDop ft cooking

Slightly Better Dads Pink Family

Doppio Infodumps About Insects

Caring For Each Other While Sick

As well!! I also have some work on my AO3- i will bashfully admit a lot of it is NSFW, but I'll mark which is NSFW and SFW here:

He'll Find Him Waiting Like A Lonesome King- future NSFW, but SFW if full of Sexual Tension right now. Diavolo begins scheming a way to see Doppio, if only for a little while.

i'm gonna kiss you (like the sun browns you)- NSFW, explicit; fluffy, transmasc diavolo & doppio; stone top diavolo & lots of gender euphoria & body feelings & loving yourself via loving your trans partner t4t magic

double. - semi-NSFW; non-explicit, but delves into sexual awakening & exploration during their mutual puberty & will eventually contain some non-explicit Donatella/Solido. A study on how Solido Naso became Doppio & Diavolo; warnings for religious trauma, dissociation and all the gnarly canon-compliant contents of Diavolo & Doppio's backstory

they fit together like two hands- SFW! A quiet, peaceful little study about a post-separation Diavolo and Doppio making their way through their daily life, knowing that they'll never really stop dealing with paranoia, dissociation or mental health crises- but helping each other through them, because it's still better when not carried alone.

that's the kind of love (i've been dreaming of)- NSFW; explicit! tooth-rotting fluff and kink all rolled into one. post-separation, diavolo struggles to sleep because he can't keep his hands off Doppio. Doppio comes up with a simple solution: diavolo can do whatever he wants to him while he sleeps.

Also BONUS! If you like my work, check out the gothic horror AU tag, where I leave my art and thoughts about my DiaDop Gothic Horror AU. And if you REALLY liked it, all the works are arranged into a pay-what-you-want PDF on itch.io!

WHEEZE and that's all the DiaDop I have properly written out!! Thank you SO so much for the kind words anon- I love these two a lot! It's fun just taking them at face value as a babyfaced twink and a big mean goth, sure, but the reason I'm so drawn to them is how much depth you can read into them, the ways they have much more possibility beneath their surface... I just love them a lot a lot! ;0; and if I ever start another RP blog up, I'll 100% share here so y'all will know!! Thank you again!!!

[sidestcriies]

Aɴ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ sᴛᴜᴅʏ ɪɴ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs. A tentative concept for a blog, born from a desire to elevate my friends and bring a smile to their faces. Someone whom will sit beside you when you are down and laugh with you when you are happy. Mused by Sinmenon and sideblog to @cantillat .

ᴘʀɪᴠᴀᴛᴇ - ᴍɪɴᴏʀs & ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟs ᴅɴɪ

Aʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ʙʟᴏɢ:

This blog is meant to be for incidental and side-characters in a muse’s life. Maybe you want to have your muse to interact with a classmate during an after-class club or there isn’t anyone actively roleplaying your muse’s best friend.  Or maybe you are a pokemon trainer and wants to interact with one of your pokemon and you don’t want to be the one controlling both of them. A rival that pushes your muse’s buttons and challenges them. Perhaps a quest-giving NPC to get an adventure going or simply to make a thread focused on character development that you feel awkward in hogging all the spotlight of the thread. Every experience will be tailored for each and every partner that engages here. It is highly unlikely there will be a “muse list” because it isn’t their focus. I'll try to provide a few icons but it is likely some of the replies will be iconless or have very little in the way of a psd. You can check a non-comprehensive list of the fandoms I'm familiar with here. I also have some "permanent" OCs that are meant to assist your muse to have unique adventures, check them out here. Because of the nature of this blog (as in: a supporting role) there won’t be any active romantic ships. You are free to discuss shipping with my main muses over my blog.

Rᴜʟᴇs, ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴏʀᴛ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ:

If you have any problems with me, talk to me. Don’t give “hints” or be indirect. Don’t assume things. Don’t wait to tell me if something bothers you, sometimes it is hard to pick on subtleties through text. Message me and I’ll get to you as soon as possible. My discord is always available for mutuals.

Mun isn’t the same as muse. I don’t share the same opinions as the muses.  If an antagonist is requested, this doesn’t mean I have anything against you or your muse. Still, if it makes you uncomfortable talk to me, your consent can be rescinded at any time if you want to.

This blog won’t be engaging in romantic relationships.  The purpose of this blog is to be a supporting role to my roleplay partners. If they wish to interact with a classmate, teacher, friend, family member and so on. It is an opportunity to muses to interact with characters that are relevant to their lives but don’t have any active representation on tumblr or my partner would like to do some workshopping and development in a safe environment.

On trigger warnings: let me know if you need anything that needs to be tagged. Please tag any graphic description of eye trauma as not safe for work. Many muses come from violent fandoms, viewer discretion is advised.

I do not engage with self-inserts and lovechild ocs.

This is a sideblog, I can’t follow back. I'll follow from @cantillat but if we aren't mutuals I might not interact with you here.

Personal blogs and minors DNI

I’m heavily anti-bullying. I don’t care if you identify yourself as a pro or as an anti, if you can’t respect someone’s boundaries or have trouble discerning reality from a fictional character I don’t think we are compatible.

Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇs:

Click here for the icon source tag.

Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀs:

Open starters tag

Starter call tag

Published starters tag (you can also look up your url)

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

[gendercensus]

On plural inclusivity and "plural they"

In the Gender Census feedback box and elsewhere I have frequently been asked:

to make the annual Gender Census survey more inclusive of plural participants, and

to add "plural they" to the checkbox pronouns list alongside "singular they" in order to be inclusive of plural participants.

It's a rambling topic, so I'll address them in sections in that order.

~

INCLUSIVITY RE: PLURAL PARTICIPANTS

I've been inviting plural people to take part in a short survey about the Gender Census, asking questions that help me get a feel for the issues involved and asking about whether people feel included in the survey (and why or why not). At the time of writing there have been 139 responses, I will leave it open for ongoing feedback, and I'm unlikely to be publishing the spreadsheet of results in full because the responses are off-topic and very personal. However, I will refer to some individual responses as well as my personal experience discussing inclusion with plural systems.

Here's a graph based on the responses so far:

I'm asking for direct feedback about this issue because over the past few years plural folks have been one of the more consistently vocal groups in the feedback box of the survey and elsewhere, which would usually be fine, but I've been finding it very overwhelming and confusing. I think that's because the advice/demands/questions have been unusually inconsistent, often to the point of being in direct opposition to each other, and the result is that I have no idea what to do.

Before now, most plural people have understood that it's quite a nuanced issue. When asked I would explain that if they felt that filling it in once for the whole system made more sense they should do that, and if individual system members felt strongly that they should participate alone then they could do so.

This year it got to the point where I had to make a decision and write unambiguous, easy-to-follow guidance about how plural people should fill in the survey, because I had one system submitting dozens of responses and giving the exact same three points of feedback, paraphrased, over and over - making it look like many unconnected people felt strongly about these particular issues, when in reality it was all this one system. I decided that, to be as fair as possible, plural people should fill in the survey once per body.

When I posted about the "once per body" policy on social media I received very little direct feedback, which leaves me in the position of not knowing whether that's because I did it right and you have no complaints or because you've all jumped ship! The statistics and comments from the plural feedback survey are very helpful in this regard:

It seems that plural participants, on the whole, are fairly understanding about it all, often supportive, and are still able to participate. ("Unknown" and "no strong feelings" together are a much higher proportion than I expected.) Some positive feedback included appreciation for the ability to select as many gender identities and pronouns as one wants. Common arguments against the policy include feeling that system members are not treated as people in their own right, which is understandable; the Gender Census is designed to present practicable data about nonbinary people for use within a system that assigns one identity per body, socially and bureaucratically. A "once per body" policy makes sense when prioritising nonbinary people, but adds to the list of crap that only plural people have to struggle through when they're not the main focus of the research.

I was surprised that only a couple of people pointed out that some systems have amnesia between members, and so some systems may participate more than once per body unintentionally. (I understand that this is unavoidable, and I certainly wouldn't be upset about it. Sometimes non-plural people participate more than once by accident, too! On the scale we're talking about, I'm unlikely to even notice it happening.)

Back when I first started to get requests to make the Gender Census more plural-inclusive, my first move was to ask people what exactly they felt excluded by. Responses to this have been continuously nebulous, to the extent that I don't think I have ever made any design changes to the annual survey at all as a result. I also asked what they would do to improve the survey and help them to feel included, but this has yielded very few viable ideas for how to move forward, just because so many of the ideas that people suggest are mutually exclusive.

As an example, I spoke to one member of a system who expressed, understandably, that their experience of themselves as plural inextricably affected their experience of their gender(s), and after some discussion they concluded that the two were so intertwined that it made the most sense for it to be included in the identity question, e.g. a checkbox called "plural" alongside nonbinary, genderqueer, trans, etc. I explained that I don't arbitrarily add things to the checkbox list, but it would be counted if it was typed into a textbox underneath, and if it went over 1% I would consider adding it to the checkbox list. They became increasingly angry. The only way this situation would make sense for them moving forward was if I added "plural" as an identity checkbox option immediately. Conversely, just a couple of weeks previously I had spoken with a member of a system who was very vocally distressed at the idea of plurality being conflated with gender, and wanted to make sure that I never added "plural" as an identity checkbox option.

As another example, in the plural feedback survey when I asked people how they felt about the "once per body" policy, a member of one system was against it and said "it feels like this policy doesn’t recognize us as separate people", but a member of another system was in favour and said "we're encouraged by our therapist to think of ourselves as dissociated parts of a whole. So we're all one person, just not directly connected like a singlet [non-plural person] would be. From that perspective, it makes sense to keep us as one person in the gender census, no matter how many genders we have." It's not possible to reconcile these two perspectives.

From the very beginning up until now, the unifying theme for feedback from plural people and their allies is "please be more inclusive of plural people." That's a really good start! After that it becomes a plate of tangled spaghetti.

Here are some themes I've managed to tease out, and my thoughts.

"Each system's alter should be able to participate in the survey individually if they want to." Some systems have literally hundreds of alters, and several systems have acknowledged in the feedback survey that this is probably both impractical for many plural people and unfair on singlets.

"We're okay with taking part once for all of us in the system, but we're just checking all the boxes that apply to at least one of us, and some of those are explicitly disliked by at least one of us. This is uncomfortable." I think that's... probably okay, actually. Other subcategories of participants whose identities fluctuate that strongly (e.g. a genderfluid person who is sometimes very male and sometimes extremely not male) or whose pronouns are context-dependent are also in this predicament. Participants often express a desire to rank their identity terms by importance, accuracy, fluctuation or frequency. The survey aims to collect broad and fuzzy data about a very large group of people, to monitor trends and let people know what language we're comfortable with on the whole. This survey just isn't looking for that kind of nuance.

"We're okay with taking part in the survey once for everyone in the system, but there should be a way to separate out responses about different alters within that one response." It's literally impossible to program the survey to have infinite subsections for each alter, but if it were possible, what would I do with the data? I think the most likely approach would be combining into a list of identities etc. "per body". The participant would feel better for being able to enter different words for different alters, but it would be more work for them, and it would be more work for me to process responses from plural people just to have them be counted like those from non-plural people.

"There should be a 'plural' checkbox in the identity list so that we can express that our gender is influenced by our plurality." I consider adding terms to the identity checkbox list when they're typed into the textboxes by over 1% of participants. There are some situations where I'll make an exception to that rule, but it's unusual and this isn't one of them. Whether you enter a term using a checkbox or a textbox makes no difference to how well-represented you are in the results.

Maybe just a question that asks if you're plural, with a checkbox? What would this checkbox do? Plurality is beyond the scope of the survey, along with things like height and eye colour. It would allow curious people to analyse the responses using plurality as a variable, but I wouldn't include it in any analysis in an annual Gender Census report.

That last one is particularly interesting, because it's what I actually did in the supplementary survey. I wasn't 100% sure in advance whether or not I would need that information for the singular vs. plural they issue, so I included an "I am/we are plural" checkbox just to be on the safe side. As far as I could tell, the survey was no more or less materially inclusive than the annual Gender Census survey. There were a couple of interesting patterns to report in the statistics, but the main things I noticed were:

Feedback saying that the survey wasn't inclusive of plural people was non-existent.

Several people thanked me in the feedback box for making the survey plural-inclusive.

Several people promoted the survey on social media by using its plural-inclusivity as a selling point.

Again, the supplementary survey didn't take a different approach. There was no particular difference in language, there was no indication that whether or not you're plural would be integral to the reporting of the results or even used at all, the only difference was the existence of a checkbox that let participants declare their plurality.

That's all it took to cause a complete U-turn in feedback. A checkbox that doesn't relate to gender or connect to any of the other questions in any way, and isn't particularly statistically useful based on the supplementary survey. It doesn't make the survey more inclusive, it just acknowledges that some participants are plural, and gives them a way to declare it.

Whether or not participants are plural is beyond the scope of the Gender Census, which aims to collect broad data about how we as nonbinary and otherwise genderly-interesting people want the world to see and describe us. It just doesn't make sense to include questions about plurality in future surveys. But I'm honestly amazed and a little confused, because until the "once per body" policy was added it seems that there wasn't actually anything about the Gender Census that prevented plural people from participating, at least not more than anyone else whose genders change significantly over time.

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SHOULD "PLURAL THEY" BE ADDED TO THE CHECKBOX PRONOUN LIST?

This is something that participants often ask me to do in order to make the survey more plural-inclusive, so I decided to seriously consider it.

The first draft of the supplementary survey asked over 1,000 participants about this issue, but I had to scrap those responses and then redesign and restart it because, even though dictionaries are fairly clear on what exactly "singular they" is, a lot of survey participants who are not dictionaries seemed to be in disagreement (or confusion) about what singular they and plural they actually are. I have been unable to find any academic or reference articles online using the phrase "plural they" at all.

Here are some of the things people have told me recently:

"Singular they" is when you use "they" with singular verbs, e.g. they is a teacher.

I can't say that I use "singular they" pronouns because I always say "they are". "They is" just sounds wrong to me.

"Plural they" is when you use "singular they" pronouns to refer to a system/someone who is plural.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are grammatically identical except for the name.

"Singular they" and "plural they" are functionally the same and should be combined into one option called "they" in the annual survey.

Let's start by stating what we do know for sure.

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THEY VS. SINGULAR THEY

For the record, "singular they" is defined by its purpose and context, not the specific words used.

Wiktionary says:

they (third-person, nominative case, usually plural, sometimes singular, objective case them, possessive their, possessive noun theirs, reflexive themselves, or, singular, themself)

It then goes on to specify three use-cases:

third-person plural, referring to two or more people

third-person singular, referring to one person

"indefinite pronoun" - people; some people; people in general; someone, excluding the speaker. E.g. "they didn’t have computers in the old days."

So we've got "they" (groups), "singular they" (individuals), and "indefinite they" (an "other" that is ambiguous in number).

Again, I have never found anything academic or, er, dictionarical (lexicographical?) that calls any of the forms "plural they", so my first job is to find out whether what Gender Census participants are calling "plural they" is the same as what the dictionary just calls "they", which is defined as the set used to refer to two or more people. For the purposes of this article I will call it regular "they".

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WHICH WORDS MAKE UP SINGULAR THEY?

Even though most dictionaries will state which words make up singular they, and it's usually they/them/their/theirs/themself, if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called "singular they" if it is used to refer to only one person. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is a writer" or "they are a writer", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about only one person, it's still singular they.

In the annual survey, singular they is consistently chosen in the checkbox pronoun options by the most participants, usually more than twice as popular as the next most popular option. (I use the dictionary-provided set, and I've checked it's still the most commonly used in several polls and surveys along the way.) In the annual survey, singular they is presented as:

singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself (e.g. "they are a writer")

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WHICH WORDS MAKE UP PLURAL THEY?

I had never heard of "plural they" before people started asking me to add it to the checkbox list in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey, but it seemed clear from the name that it is meant to be contrasted with singular they, and I wondered if perhaps everyone else had been calling regular "they" (for referring to two or more people) "plural they" this entire time and I just hadn't noticed.

It was specifically presented to me by participants as a pronoun that a plural system could claim, and that a plural system might prefer over singular they. This tallied with my initial assumption that "plural they" may just be regular "they" referring to groups, since a system is a body containing two or more distinct individuals, so if they wanted to be referred to as a group then singular they would be inappropriate and regular "they" would fit.

I went to the pronouns spreadsheet of the 2021 Gender Census, and took every pronoun set that was named and copied it into a new spreadsheet. I ran a query to list all sets that contained both the words "plural" and "they" in the name field. There were 71 results, out of ~44,500 total responses. I ran another query to find out what these people were entering in the reflexive field, and here's what I got:

themselves - 61 (85.9%)

theirselves - 3

them - 2

themself - 2

themself (plural) - 2

theirself - 1

So I think it's safe to say that the set that people are calling "plural they" uses "themselves" as the reflexive, which is consistent with dictionaries' reporting of regular "they".

I conclude that most people do mean regular "they" when they refer to "plural they". "Plural they" seems to be they/them when used to refer to two or more people, including the plural reflexive "themselves".

As in "singular they", if you change individual words within the set or even around the set it is still called regular "they" if it is used to refer to two or more people. This might happen due to regional or cultural variations. So whether you say "they is writers" or "they are writers", whether you say "themself" or "themselves", if you're talking about two or more people, it's still regular "they" (or plural they).

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IS PLURAL THEY GETTING SMUSHED INTO ANOTHER PRONOUN/GROUP?

I recently explored the (apparently unintentional) overlap of Spivak (e/em) and Elverson (ey/em). In case you've not read it, here's a brief overview: I found that it might be that Elverson (not on the checkbox list) is many times more popular than Spivak (on the checkbox list), even though it isn't being written into the pronouns textboxes often enough for it to reach the 1% threshold. Since the two sets are identical except for that one letter in the subject form, it is very likely that many of the people who use Elverson (ey/em) pronouns are choosing the Spivak checkbox option in the annual survey because they don't realise the spelling is different, or they think that they are minor spelling variants of the same set. I concluded that in order to get a fair count of both sets I will need to list both in the checkbox options next year, even though Elverson hasn't been typed in by over 1% of participants yet.

It's possible that the same thing is happening with singular and plural they. I ran a couple of Twitter polls, asking people whose pronouns are they/them which set they prefer, and presented answers like this:

a) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELF

b) Singular they, referring to only 1 person: they are themSELVES

c) Plural they, referring to 2+ people: they are themSELVES

Here's the results, with 927 usable responses:

The results of this poll are really useful, because it allowed people to choose between singular and plural they AND themself and themselves, in combination. We can see that of the people who call their pronouns "singular they" (referring to only one person), the majority prefer "themself" as the reflexive, but a respectable proportion prefer singular they with "themselves", even when presented with the option of "plural they" (referring to two or more people).

(I have a policy of providing the most popular word choices in checkboxes, so I will continue to provide a they/them checkbox option that says "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself", but since singular they is consistently the most popular pronoun this is something I like to keep checking in on.)

If we apply these proportions to the 2021 Gender Census responses and imagine that everyone whose pronouns are they/them chose "singular they - they/them/their/theirs/themself" regardless of how accurate that is, this would mean that 3.7% of all respondents would check a "plural they" box, which is well above the 1% threshold for adding something to the checkbox list. Why not add it to the list, the way I'll also be adding Elverson to the list? This graph may help:

I generally consider it unwise to make big decisions based on Twitter polls, because the sample is much smaller and more biased than a standalone survey. Twitter requires membership, Twitter membership is skewed younger, and younger members are more likely to use Twitter often and see polls when they appear.

However, even I can't deny that there is a very clear mandate here for Elverson to be added to the checkbox list. When given a straight choice between the Spivak, Elverson, both, and neither/something else, participants were over six times more likely to choose Elverson over Spivak. (For context, Spivak got 4.3% in the 2021 Gender Census as a checkbox option.) Even if this poll were somehow put to the entire Gender Census participant group, it's hard to imagine a scenario where the results shift enough that Elverson gets a lower percentage than Spivak.

4.7% of a smaller sample of younger Twitter members just isn't enough to push me to add something to the checkbox options. I really hope that everyone whose pronouns are "plural they" takes the time to type it into next year's survey as a pronoun distinct from "singular they", so that if they do end up being over 1% of participants I can add "plural they" to the checkbox options.

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IN CONCLUSION

As far as I can tell, the Gender Census doesn't particularly exclude plural participants. Systems are still able to take part, so it is at least as inclusive as any other survey of a similar nature, maybe even more so thanks to the ability to choose multiple gender identities and pronouns "per body".

There isn't sufficient evidence to support adding "plural they" to the list of checkbox pronouns at this time, and systems can be represented in results by typing any plural-inclusive terms and pronouns that are not on checkbox lists into some of the many textboxes provided, as any other participant would be expected to do.

The "once per body" participation policy is uncomfortable for a significant number of plural people. However, due to the intensely varied experiences of plural people, any policy on that issue that I impose would make some plural people uncomfortable - and it turns out that I chose the "side" that plural people are more likely to agree with. The survey isn't intending to collect or convey the more nuanced information that plural people (and others) have said that they would like to provide.

A separate question that specifically asks participants whether they're plural makes systems feel seen and acknowledged, but is beyond the scope of the project and doesn't add value to the data or analysis.

So, I will not be making any changes to the Gender Census at this time, based on the information I've gathered so far. However, I welcome further feedback in the plural participants' feedback form, which will remain open, anonymous and private.

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Edit: Follow-up.