#non JD mutuals I highly doubt this is something you need to read
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Took me a few days to get my shit together. I have some things to add. Apologies but I will be rather explicit.
I'm going to make it clear right away that I don't think anyone here is a groomer. Caitie and Apex seem like they want to care about these underage friends of theirs, genuinely. Which is the only thing keeping me from calling them creeps. Moving on.
For context, I was in a private server run by Caitie for a while. As far as I know, the same minors in the RP server were also in this one. Which is relevant, because I'm here say that this sexual talk didn't stop at the RP server. I noticed it in Caitie's server too. Here's some of what I saw:
I wouldn't ordinarily judge Apex for saying things like "Wander has his triangle by his dick because he's HOOORNYYY". But when there's minors in the server? I have to judge at that point. When you say things like "the W in Wander stands for whore" DIRECTLY TO a minor? Now I'm judgemental. Apex, if you want to talk about "Night Swan's delicious thighs", talk about it in a server with people your own age. People under 18 are not your fucking age.
Hell, if you're gonna run a server with minors in it, maybe don't have an unrestricted "jd-simp" channel. Maybe don't talk about Night Swan and Si'ha Nova being milfs in said unrestricted "jd-simp" channel. It tells me you don't actually give a fuck about what you might expose these minors to. It also tells me you have no interest in setting a proper precedent.
I wouldn't usually bat an eye at Caitie and her romantic partner having a channel in Caitie's server dedicated to their "Cecilynn" ship, where they at one point openly talked about putting their faces in each other's boobs. A channel that wasn't restricted, at that. But once again, when there's MINORS in that server? I'm raising an eyebrow. Keep your personal sex lives away from the minors you pretend to "mother". Keep it out of your Just Dance discord server.
And Caitie, maybe tell your partner not to say things like like "why are all my children whores" in DIRECT REFERENCE TO THESE MINORS. Have some shame. I don't care if you think you're close friends with these minors, that shit's gross. I dont care if 18/19 is still technically a "teenager". That shit's distrustful. What, are you gonna keep talking like this when you're 20? 21? When does it stop?
Oh, and pretty much all of what I cited here is a near-exact quote. I have receipts. They're available upon request. I'm posting this before I go into work, so I won't be immediately available. But I'll respond as I can. Caitie and Apex, if you want to talk like adults, then speak. DMs are open. Until then, I have nothing else to say to either of you.
I think it's time for me to elaborate on what I was saying the other day.
These two people that this post is about are Caitlynnrosespn and Apexious - I have over a fucking hundred screenshots of the two of them being inappropriate with minors. Mostly through RPs. And yet, I've spent the past few months being scared of them. But not anymore.
They like long tumblr callout posts so much? Okie dokie, I'll give them one.
When you're 18, you're not a kid anymore. You know that. Which means that you can't just do fetish themed RPs with 15 year olds and get away with it. If you're repeatedly JOKING about the "degeneracy" or laughing about how inappropriate it is, then you KNOW it's bad, and yet you're still doing it.
The fact that the minors said they weren't bothered by it isn't an excuse either. I assure you, if YOU saw this happening from someone else doing it, you'd be calling the FBI, the CIA, the CDC, the army, the navy, the swat team…but it's you and you're "mom" so it's okay? I have my doubts you'd accept "the minors weren't bothered by it" from ANYONE else, just as you would be horrified to hear it if someone else told you they'd been PRIVATELY COORDINATING said sex rps IN MINORS' DMS. Privately coordinating it ahead of time makes it worse because that means you were planning it, it wasn't just a dumb thoughtless remark in the heat of the moment (which wouldn't be okay either, but still!).
These RPs would bring up things like dog collars and aprodisiacs and being so loud during sex that "Selios" could hear and moaning and biting and deities having mating seasons and ungodly things with forks that I think I'm going to cry if I have to repeat.
But I get it. ONE of the minors is almost 18. That's why you threw him under the bus when you were called out for your behavior and gave him a large part of the blame for it, when YOU the (adult) server owners could've and should've said "no", and that's why you let it go on for MONTHS. Right?
To the people that this post is about: I dare you to respond to this in a way that doesn't bring up "but what about [insert random thing that I or someone else did here]?" or "but I'm going through such a hard time!". Because guess what? I'm going through a hard time too. I have a condition that makes my jaw shift painfully every day and I've just had to file a fraud report on both my debit and my credit card so I currently have no accessible money. You're not the only one going through a hard time.
And I don't want you to to send a minor to fight your battles for you either. I want to see you respond to this in a way that's ACTUALLY an apology and not the half-apologizing "I've said it won't happen again and apologized" "if you want me to go back and erase it from ever happening, find me a time machine and I'll do it" (exact words).
I could go on about how you also spread gossip and spread hate, but you did SO much talking behind peoples' backs including about minors that there are some people who don't even KNOW you said "fuck [them]", and this isn't exactly how I want them to find out. Really, I can't say half the things I want to say for the sake of peoples' privacy.
Caitlynnrosespn, Apexious, you don't EVER get to pretend like you're better than anyone else when these are the things you do. I am NOT saying you're creeps/predators so don't you dare try and deflect with that, but you need to show some real responsibility here. You are not the victims. I know you're only 18/19, but you need to be better. What kind of example is this setting? I believe you can be better, but only if you take some real responsibility. I tried doing this privately and it didn't go over so well, so you get it here.
To the affected minors, I'm sorry because I know you probably won't understand why I'm saying this/doing this to the people you see as your friends. And I can't make you understand it, and I won't argue with the way you feel right now.
To everyone else reading this post, please don't try and contact or identify any of the minors involved. At the end of the day, I'm just trying to warn people and I can't stand for anyone else to get hurt.
I'm scared as fuck to post this, but I wanna thank my friends for having my back.
#non JD mutuals I highly doubt this is something you need to read#ratman rants#post by lilith#post by rat#post by ash
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Roseberrycupcakes, Forbidden Fruit
I originally wanted to keep this story to myself, as I would be opening myself up for accusations of hypocrisy and whatnot; but in short, I wanted to illustrate some several key points:
1. You can’t choose your feelings, but you can choose to act on them.
2. Everyone chooses to act on either one of the following fears: the fear of never meeting your soulmate or the fear of losing your soulmate by settling.
3. If your “best” option may not be God’s best, your “good enough” option is NEVER going to be God’s best.
4. Someone who genuinely respects you won’t compromise you–your reputation, your emotions, or your conscience. You can’t like someone without respecting them. You can’t love someone without liking them. You can’t marry someone without loving them.
Some time ago, I was dispatched as a temporary substitute for my colleague. As different hospitals use different systems���from cabinet organizations to medical records system–I greatly disliked the idea of working at another hospital; but I wasn’t in any position to argue. Despite my negative first impression of the very short-staffed outpost ER, my interaction with my supervising physician–I’ll call him Dr. F for the sake of conversation–made this experience the one I will never forget.
I found Dr. F to be very attractive the moment I laid my eyes on him. I waived off a pang of disappointment I felt when I learned that he was married, and I was able to keep things absolutely professional during my entire stay. It was only on the last day of my job that I realized that the attraction has been mutual all along; both of us just chose not to act on it.
As he’s walked in my footsteps years before, I knew he knew how exhausting I must get; but unlike my previous supervisors, he never once commented on it; he just chose to show his empathy through his actions. For instance, Dr. F always sent me out for a dinner break–something he wasn’t obligated to do. I appreciated the gesture, but didn’t think much of it until I skipped dinner one day after snacking with the nurses earlier: it turns out the dinner break he always gave me coincided with the rush hour. Because we were the only ER doctors (only two doctors at any given shift) and he gave ME a break, he was skipping dinner whenever he worked with me. I’ve just been assuming that he grabbed something before I came back and was having a midnight snack everyday; I didn’t realize that the microwaved dinner every shift at 10 PM was his dinner.
Just because he was mindful of what I was going through didn’t mean he was treating me any less than a fellow physician, either; he trusted my abilities and always treated me with respect despite having more clinical experience. He never once stopped addressing me by my title when he could have used my first name like many other attendings often do. He never belittled me in front of patients when I was learning new techniques; he would just quietly pull me aside; or he would patiently show it to me again. Such gentleness didn’t mean he wasn’t critical; indeed, he never mollycoddled me with empty compliments or tried to soften the blow; he just made sure his critiques were delivered in such a way that was constructive and displayed confidence in me. In short, we had a smooth professional dynamic; and in an environment where we wear hygiene masks for protection against infections, we were soon able to read each other’s mind with just a glance.
Because he earned my trust on a professional level, I trusted his advice on some difficult situations I’ve been facing. I’ve never told anyone–not JD, not my friends, not even my family–of what I’ve been facing on a personal level from work: since med school, I’ve received some very uncomfortable date requests from higher-ups, colleagues, patients, and patients’ family/friends. I knew the kind of responses I would get if I told any of them: my family would try to find source of blame in me, my friends wouldn’t take it too seriously, and JD and I always had more important matters to discuss; I simply couldn’t tell anyone.
But when a former patient kept trying to contact me during a shared shift, Dr. F noticed it right away and cut straight through the nonsense. I knew then that I can finally talk about what’s been going on. He understood how frustrating it is when patients and/or family/friends contact or visit under the guise of “medical reasons” only for the conversation to turn to private topics; I can always talk of “ethics” and “rules,” but it will only get so far. He gave me some sound advice on the matter; and I followed it.
Then I was able to tell him what I’ve been facing from the superiors: calling me in the middle of the night several nights to tell me to come to their office because they have something to give me (I don’t know what that “something” is, and I don’t want to know), baking cakes (yes…cakes) for me (I politely turned it down), speaking ill of his subordinate (who happens to be my superior) when the rumor spread that he asked me out (he did ask me out but I turned him down), taking me out for dinner dates under the guise of “mentoring” (I can only make excuses some of the time), etc. I’m not even going to touch on the comments like “I don’t know why someone who looks like you ever bothered to become a doctor” (what does looks have to do with anything), “I’ve done enough plastic surgeries to tell, but I’ve never seen a natural beauty like you. You’re going to have beautiful children with those genes.” (I’m natural, but not a beauty. Ask Dee. And MY genes are not the only thing that matters), “I’ve been looking for a woman who will be beautiful even when she’s old, and from studying bone structures, I know you’re the one” (yes, this one was definitely crazy. No wonder he’s been single for years despite being a bilingual dermatologist), etc.
When I first told Dr. F of these incidents and more, I was scared he might laugh at me, not believe me, or call me names. Instead, he believed it all. He didn’t try to force me to report them; he knew that I can’t report it all without compromising my career, coming across as a delusional who thinks highly of herself, and/or jeopardizing the career of those “honorable” men (some of whom are married). He just shook his head and scoffed at those ridiculous comments; he heard me out and that’s all I needed.
On my last shift, Dr. F and I had a discussion about non-medical/hospital matters for the first time. Despite our similarities in multiple fronts, our differences couldn’t have been more apparent than when it came to love. When he asked me, I told him that I believed in soulmates. I told him that I believe that you should marry that one person you KNOW you would choose no matter when, no matter where, no matter how you meet them. Dr. F laughed at my naive attitude and dared me to cherish it as long as I could.
Then, he told me that he used to have such sentiments too. He remembered walking down the street one day and realizing the frustration at the fact that his soulmate can be anywhere. He figured if he dated 1000 women before settling down, he must come across his soulmate. So he dated dozens and dozens of them (I’m not surprised), but after a while, he realized that all of them were the same. As long as they meet the “basic” requirements, there wasn’t much difference between them. He understood there HAS to be love, but there wasn’t going to be a person who’s “perfect” for him. So instead of waiting for his “ideal” soulmate, he married his “second best” option.
When I raised my eyebrows at his choice of words, he said I needed to understand that there IS such a thing as “good enough.” He said, “It doesn’t matter if there is a person who fits 100% of your needs. If he’s in Germany and you’re in South Korea, how are you two EVER going to meet? Haven’t you realized that proximity is the most determining factor in relationships? You’re going to have to learn to compromise on your ideals or you won’t find anyone who can satisfy you.”
I was tempted to fire back that there was no such thing as “good enough” in romance, but what was the point of raising a doubt in a married man’s heart? I really wanted to ask him if he wasn’t scared of meeting his true soulmate after he got married, but I didn’t need to. As if reading my mind, he said, “It doesn’t matter if you meet your ‘the one’ after marrying your 'good enough’ option. Society and laws prohibit you from acting on your emotions.” I stopped myself from pointing out the stupidity of his last statement. It shouldn’t be the “society and laws” that stop you from cheating on your spouse. It should be LOVE. I’m not going to disclose the rest of our conversation, but at the end of it, we both knew what we were trying to tell each other.
I didn’t fully understand the meaning behind the Dr. F’s actions at the time; there were many incidents I didn’t disclose on here that I took for granted; and I’ve only begun to appreciate his wisdom. He never once overstepped boundaries; not to me, not to his wife, not to himself. He never risked my reputation nor his. He never compromised my emotions or made empty remarks that he could have used to bind me. We never once held a private conversation in an enclosed space. (We had unspoken agreement to choose painstakingly bothersome ways to avoid being in the room alone.) We never even talked on the phone with each other–we would go through a nurse. Our first and last physical contact was a 30-second-long handshake on my last day. So both of us could turn our backs and walk away guilt-free.
Regardless of Dr. F’s sentiments toward me, I knew I wasn’t his soulmate. Or more precisely, he’s not mine. While I can fully relate to the fear of never meeting my soulmate, the possibility of losing my soulmate because I acted on that fear is far more terrifying to me. And if I’m the sort of person who’s willing to wait for God’s best, I know that my soulmate is someone who will honor God the same way; as much as I respect and liked Dr. F, I knew God wouldn’t have assigned a married man as a soulmate. Also, I was never going to get involved with anyone who was going to think I was the “second best” or a “good enough” option. I firmly believe that I deserve to be recognized as the best option for my soulmate.
Nevertheless, I learned great deal about love from Dr. F. His actions toward me was nothing short of respect. If someone who never dated me was so respectful, I know what I should expect from my soulmate now. I also learned that there are people out there who will put aside their own desires to protect the subject of their admiration; declarations of passion and empty promises are not markers of true affection; and silent actions speak just as loudly as words.
After writing so many posts on religion, I was very scared to send in this submission. The idea of admitting that a married man could have so easily seduced me terrified me. I was scared some may call me a hypocrite or worse; after all, I used to look down on women who stole another woman’s man from her; but to be honest, the only reason Dr. F and I kept ourselves out of emotional and physical affair was by making conscious decisions on both ends. We were both mature enough to understand the situation at hand without discussing it overtly, and we never crossed that line.
So when I see people criticizing Harry for getting involved with Ms. Markle when she was in a relationship with another man, I get a bit uncomfortable. While I agree that his behavior was wrong, I know better than to criticize solely him for this behavior. After all, had Dr. F made advances like Ms. Markle made to Harry, I doubt I would have had the powers to resist him. In this regards, both Ms. Markle and Dr. F had choices in their respective relationships. Ms. Markle chose to cross that line; Dr. F chose not to. Ms. Markle disrespected her partner; Dr. F chose not to. Ms. Markle turned herself into a cheater; Dr. F chose not to. Ms. Markle turned Harry into “the other guy”; Dr. F chose not to turn me into “the other woman.” From these choices alone, I think Dr. F respected me far more than Ms. Markle respected/respects Harry; it’s not that I somehow “deserved” such respect; it’s that Harry’s not getting what he deserves. We all deserve to be respected–and you don’t have to settle on that. Xoxo, Roseberry (RCC)
Thank you so much, I loved this story, Adam and Eve, you both chose to honor God and came away wiser for it. By the way, you are very beautiful. XOX💖💖
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