#noen eubanks one shot

[people-likeflowers]

Réveille-toi

A/N: Hii! So, I’ve noticed that there weren’t many one shots/imagines about Noen, and I needed one. This is the result of that “need”. Kind of selfish haha. Enjoy! 

Btw, First, neither English nor French are my native languages, therefore if there is something wrong, I’m sorry. Second, it’s the first time that I publish something so I’m kinda nervous. Aand, last, if someone wants to publish it in other platforms, please give credits. 

Summary: A fluff about your feelings for Noen Eubanks.

Song:  Cherry - Harry Styles

One by one, the flowers started to decorate your hair. 

You used to tell me that you didn’t like it when I played with it, but I knew that it was the opposite. I've had chosen the colors of the blooms specifically for them to match with the colors in your hair. I still remember how you smiled when I told you that. A smile that was so personal of you, in which your blue eyes turned more slanted than they already were. Those eyes that keep me up all night. We were laying in the green grass of a wide field. You’ve fallen asleep with your arms under your head. The shadows from the trees played with your tender face. The sun was illuminating your nose.  ‘Cou-cou’ I whispered as I caressed the hairs in your forehead. Looking at you while you were sleeping brought me peace. Although sometimes I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t resist touching you, adoring your voice speaking about video games or about the following step in your career. Or maybe just your presence. You woke up and started blinking several times. The sun was bothering you in your eyes, so you closed them again while a raspy sound came from your throat. I touched you again, ‘chérie, réveille-toi.’ ‘Mm?’ Was all I obtained for an answer. I knew that you didn’t understand my french phrases but they seemed sweet to you. But right now you weren’t paying any attention. I gave up and decided to do the same as you. I took one of your hands and intertwined our fingers. Now they were above our heads. I kissed your left cheek and succumbed into a soft dream, surrounded with the sound of the birds, the heat and the cold from the sun and the shadows. And at last, surrounded with the love of whom I was in love.

[storiesforallfandoms]

he’ll never see this ~ noen eubanks

word count: 1994

request?: yes!

“Hi can you do one imagine of Noen Eubanks, like, the reader is a tik toker or influencer something like that and they have a crush on each other,and they Fans are Shipping them.

Thanksss💖🖤💖🖤💖”

description: in which she admits her feelings for a fellow creator during a stream thinking he’ll never see it

pairing: noen eubanks x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

The sound of a new donation message coming in pulled you away from your game for a split second. The automated voice read the message out to you: “are there any influencers that you are totally crushing on right now?”

You chuckle to yourself as you turn back to your game. “You guys really wanna start something, huh? You realize this will be trending within an hour if I say anything.”

You glanced over at your chat to see they were begging you to tell them who your influencer crush was. You had mentioned a few times that there was a fellow influencer that you had a crush on, but you refused to admit who it was (for obvious reasons). Your viewers, however, were determined to find out who this mystery man you liked was.

“We promise we’ll keep it a secret,” you read, managing to catch one message before it disappeared into the void of never ending messages. “I don’t believe you guys at all.”

You laughed as you watched the chat blow up again. You finally paused your game and made your face cam bigger for the audience. “Okay, you know what? Fuck it, there’s no way he’ll ever see this and I’m not big enough of a content creator to have articles written about me. My influencer crush is Noen Eubanks. If you don’t know who he is, look him up on TikTok and you’ll totally understand why I have such a crush on him.”

Your chat went absolutely wild at this. You went back to playing your game, smiling to yourself as you did so. It felt nice to get that off of your chest, and you knew you were about to get a kick out of your fan’s reactions to this.

Like you said, you had no fear of Noen actually finding out what you said. You had a bit of a following, but it was nothing too big. Just enough that you could be classified as “Internet famous”, but not enough that admitting you had a crush on someone else who had a much bigger following than you would be a big deal.

Or so you thought.

After your stream, you decided to go right to bed. You were feeling tired and had to get up early to edit the video you were planning on uploading. You weren’t awake to witness the internet absolutely explode over your comment, but lucky for you it was still happening when you woke up the next morning.

When you checked your phone for the first time that day, you noticed that your notifications had blown up over night. You figured it was just your fans teasing you over your crush on Noen, which it partly was, but you noticed that it was also YouTube news Twitter accounts and internet tabloid accounts tagging you in their articles about your crush on Noen.

“Oh no,” you said, your eyes widening as you read through article after article, tweet after tweet.

Before you knew it, you had spent nearly two hours sat on the floor, reading through everything that mentioned both you and Noen. All the articles were the same: an brief introduction to you and your small Twitch/YouTube following, talking about you admitting to having a crush on Noen the night before, and asking whether the reading audience believed that you and Noen would make a good couple or not.

The reactions from fans were as entertaining as you figured - with many of your fans trying to come up with ship names for you and Noen and tagging him in clips from your stream - but then there were the less than entertaining reactions. Many people, whether they were Noen’s fans or just people who wanted to hate on you you weren’t sure, were saying you had mentioned Noen’s name just for clout, or that your “crush” was nothing more than an infatuation over his looks.

It wasn’t until your phone rang that you were finally pulled out of your trance and back to the real world. Your friend’s name lit up on your screen, and it took you a moment to collect yourself before you answered.

“(Y/N), have you been online yet today?” she asked.

You sighed and nodded, then remembered she couldn’t actually see you. “Yeah, I’ve been scrolling for the past two hours on Twitter.”

“You haven’t checked your Twitch page, or YouTube account yet?”

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “No? Should I?”

“You definitely should.”

You put her on speaker and switched to your Twitch app. You were shocked to see that you had skyrocketed in subs overnight, same with your YouTube page. You had gained a solid ten thousand subscribers on both platforms, and it was still rising by the second.

“So this situation has gained me more subscribers, who cares? That’s not why I talked about Noen on stream,” you said.

“Oh no, honey. It isn’t just the situation that has given you new subscribers. Go check Noen’s Twitter.”

You knew what she was implying, but you had to see it for your own eyes. You immediately opened the Twitter app again and typed in Noen’s name. You were brought to his Twitter page, where his most recent tweet was a link to the clip from your stream along with a caption that read, “When your internet crush calls you *their* internet crush”.

You covered your mouth in shock. You were sure you were about to start screaming, but you were so speechless that you couldn’t force any sounds from your mouth.

“I’m assuming by the silence that you’ve seen it,” your friend said after a prolonged moment of silence.

“D-Did he just c-call me his...?” you trailed off, unable to finish your sentence.

“He did,” your friend confirmed. “And both of your fans are going wild. They’ve already come up with a ship name for you, which isn’t the most clever name but I admire their spirit.”

You could barley hear what your friend was saying. You were still staring at the tweet in disbelief. Your mind could barley comprehend anything else besides the fact that your online crush thought the same as you. You were trying to tell yourself not to get too worked up, as it was most likely that nothing was going to come from this besides some gossip for a week or more, but your heart was still racing with excitement.

You gasped as a notification popped up on the top of your screen: “@/eubanks_noen is requesting to message you”.

“He’s trying to DM me,” you whisper, so silently that you could barley hear yourself.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to DM me! On Twitter!”

“What are you doing talking to me?! Go answer his DM!”

You were too focused to laugh as you hung up the phone and went into your DMs. The familiar profile picture that you saw almost every day on your timeline was the first thing you saw in your message requests. Your whole body was shaking so much that you could barley see the screen as you pressed to open it.

“hi :)”

It was a very simple message, but it was enough to make your heart race even more.

You were debating on messaging back, wondering if maybe this was a fake account or something. But you knew there was only one way to find out for sure, so you took a deep breath and responded.

“hi! :)”

His response came near seconds later: “so...we’re the internet’s hottest power couple, huh?”

You chuckled to yourself. “i guess we are. sorry if i ruined your mentions last night. i didn’t think it would blow up the way it has. i’m not all that famous online.”

“are you kidding me? you’re like one of the best twitch streamers. i’ve watched every single one of your streams, including last night’s”

You felt your face heating up, but a slight groan of embarrassment came from your lips. You were thinking of all the embarrassing things you had said and done on stream, and now wished you could just melt into the floor or erase the entire internet.

“oh that’s embarrassing. i’d say i’m not that awkward and dumb in real life, but i’m actually more so”

“i wouldn’t say you’re awkward or dumb at all. i think you’re adorable”

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed to no one in particular. If your face got any hotter, it would be on fire.

“you really know how to talk to a girl”

“i really don’t, but i’m glad you’re enjoying my attempts to flirt”

“so you’re flirting? never would’ve known”

“i know, it’s hard to tell. i’m trying to be subtle”

You continued to message Noen for a while. It felt so natural, as if you weren’t talking to someone you had been crushing on for about a year now. You were extremely glad you weren’t coming off as awkward as you normally felt.

Finally, after having been sat on the floor for a good three hours, your back began to ache and your stomach was growling so loudly in attempts to get your attention. You realized then that you had put getting breakfast on hold in order to fall deep into the hole of internet gossip that had surrounded you overnight.

“love talking to you and all, but i’m gonna have to go for a little bit. i’ve been sat on the floor basically since i woke up and i haven’t eaten yet today so my stomach is very upset with me”

“why are you on the floor? 😂”

“when i’m stressed i tend to sit down no matter where i am, and i was very stressed to see my name plastered all over social media this morning”

“why were you stressed over that?”

“it’s not something i’m exactly used to. like i said, i’m not overly famous online. i just have a small following. i’m not someone who has an article written about every little thing she says. also like i said, i didn’t expect you to see me admit that i have a crush on you last night, so i was so worried about what your reaction was going to be”

“i guess i can understand that. i haven’t had a lot written about me. i’m not a big tiktoker like some of my friends are, but i guess that’s a blessing”

You started to type another message, but paused when you saw the three dots from Noen indicating that he was typing something else.

“for what it’s worth, i’ve had a internet crush on you since you first started streaming”

Your jaw dropped at this. You had started streaming months before you even knew about Noen, which meant he had known about you before you knew about him. Just when you thought this day couldn’t get any better.

“wow! that’s quite a while. you must be one of my first subscribers then”

“i’m up there i think. i’ll wear that badge with pride”

The three dots again. You waited anxiously to see what he was about to say.

“i liked getting to talk to you today, though. maybe we could talk offline sometime, like through text or phone call. maybe meet in person eventually”

Your smile was so wide that it hurt your cheeks. “yeah, i’d really like that”

You exchanged phone numbers and added his to your contacts. You finally pulled yourself off the floor and started making a super late breakfast while also starting to edit your next video since you had also gotten such a late start on that.

You were putting your food on a plate when your phone chimed, indicating a new text message.

“btw, it’s nice to finally get to meet you internet crush :)”

“it’s nice to get to meet you, too, internet crush”

You sat at the table, your heart feeling warm. And to think, it all came true thanks to one nosy donation.

Not sure how much I like this imagine, but I hope you enjoyed anyways!

[wavbleu]

Noen eubanks: Friends with a benefit

"I dont know if my mom will let me come over Noen." I say into my phone then plopping onto my cushioned bed, "Just ask, We known each other for years and she even lets me over for dinner, its worth a shot.","And if she says no ill just kidnap you and hold you for ransom."

You chuckle uncomfortably at the very dark joke . you bit your finger nails trying to plan out the conversation ahead of time, what to say, what to do and her likely responses.

I let out a deep sigh before i told him that i was gonna go tell my mom the crazy idea of having a sleepover with a boy, "Bye dork" He'd say before quickly hanging up. I sat my phone down on my dresser and took another long and very deep sigh.

One part of me was like "she will most definitely say no! Are you stupid!" but a very small portion of me was hopeful, i know you may be thinking "Its not that big of a deal" but it actually is, I've been wanting to spend more time with Noen ever since he moved states to go to school, this is the only time he's gonna be in state for the year, this is my only chance to have him in my arms again.

I stayed on my bed, looking up at the rotating ceiling fan, watching it continuously spin counterclockwise, trying to gather the courage to ask my strict catholic over protective mother if i could spend the night at a boys house.

___________________________________

"Hey mom.." Id say walking into my moms very zen bedroom, candles lit and dream catchers hanging. She seemed to be finishing up a prayer.

She got up off her knees, dusting herself off then turned her attention towards me, I felt sick, my throat became lump, my palms grew sweaty and oily, i began fiddling with my fingers in an attempt to calm myself.

I was either gonna be rejected and beat with a wooden spoon or she would empathize and let me go.

Everything i had planned in my head went out the window, it felt like i forgot english.

"Uhh.." I say hesitantly, then muffled "can i go sleep over at Noens house?" My mom squinted her eyes trying to make out what i just said. "What did you say sweetie, stop mumbling."

I then repeated myself in a slightly higher tone "Can i sleepover at Noens house?" , "Sweetie your gonna have to speak up-" cutting her off,  "Can i sleep over at NOENS house."

The room went dead silent, i felt like throwing up, instant regret formed on my face.

well great.

"Sure i dont see why not." She shrugged.

My eyes widened, i was dazed on how she agreed with no strings attached. or so i thought.

"You have to call me every 2 hours, and call me before you go to sleep. Don't sleep in the same bed, doors should remain open, no dirty music no scary movies, you must be a foot apart at all times. No drinking or smoking, no leaving his house"

My mouth hung open at the dumb rules she gave, "Mom, im literally 18 years old." ,"Why are you treating me like a child!", "Its fine you don't have to go." she says leaving the room, heading towards the kitchen, i followed behind her trying to convince her to let me go with less restrictions.

I quickly grabbed her arm making her look at me, I give her a small sob story for some empathy points. "Please mom this is the last time i get to see him for the rest of the year, i want to enjoy this." I bit my lip as the room went silent again, i cross my finger behind my back hopeful.

"Hm..." she sat and thought for a bit, my eyes filled with hope and optimism, "Please say yes" Repeated in my head like a broken tape recorder.

"no." She says opening the fridge nonchalantly.

_________________________________

I pull up to Noen's house and grab my backpack from the backseat, "Remember the rules." My mom announced, i press my lips together to form a smile to show compliance .

I walked to his front door jittery and excited i was finally gonna see him again!... for the last time.

I turned around to see my mom still staring at me.

I knocked 3 times, then waited for the response, Noen's Mom answered the door and her face brightened when she saw me there waiting.

"Your mom actually said yes?, what a shocker." She chuckled, Ms.Eubanks is a teenager stuck in a mom's body, she understands everything I go through because she grew up the same way.

She kinda hated my mom, she always said she was no fun and very boring, but honestly can i argue? She doesn't let me go to any carnivals or theme parks because shes afraid that "Ill catch a demon." on one of the rides.

Ms.Eubanks stuck her head out to say hi to my mom, out of politeness, my mom honked her horn in response, then signaled her to come over, probably to inform her the crazy and controlling rules she set in place.

I walked into there house, its always so clean because Noen and his mom are extreme neat freaks, its so clean you could probably eat off the floor without having anything in your food.

Noen walked out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he look startled when he saw me, because he panicked and ran back into the bathroom.

I had sat my bag down besides the door and went inside his room, his room is neat and clean, and its the perfect balance of hot and cold, not too hot to a point where you cant wear a sweater without melting, or to cold making you shiver and throw 10 blankets on to achieve normal body temperature. It was right in the middle.

I laid down on his rather soft bed, beginning to zone out into the ceiling again.

He walked into the room clothed and was blushing lightly, "I didnt know you were gonna come so early.","I cant believe your mom even said yes." He said lying down at the rear end of the bed.

"She gave me so many restrictions." I sighed, realizing i already broke 2 of them.

"What are they?" sitting up onto his knees, i sat up with him.

"We are already breaking a rule." ," I cant be within 1 foot with you or be on the same bed as you." i say looking down, he took two fingers and pushed my chin back up "Its fun to break rules" He would give me cheesy grin.

You stared into each others eyes for few minutes, your cheeks fading into a pale pink. The sexual tension built up like bricks every second you gazed deep into each others eyes. His gaze moved down to your rosy pink lips, to your slim and slender neck, to your narrow shoulders to-

"God your mom is crazy." Noen's mom said opening the door, cutting the silence and the tension, we turned towards her and smiled awkwardly.

"No scary movies? What kinda rule is that." She murmured in complete disgust, "Anyways im going to go run a couple of errands and ill stop for wing-stop and snacks on the way, i didn't have time to prepare since you came earlier than suspected.","No funny business, the condoms are in my drawer" His mom would wink at him then shut the door.

"MOM!" he would say slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry for her" He runs his fingers through his hair, his breath quickening, he's so cute when he's embarrassed.

"I wish my mom was like yours." I spoke joylessly, "I don't even remember the last time my mom actually called me beautiful." I put my head down again trying to cover the wave of tears that was about to come through my eyeballs.

"Well i think your gorgeous" He said with a soft and friendly smile, hesitant, going in for a light and airy kiss, i was confused and uncomfortable at first but then the kiss began to feel passionate and meaningful. My heart would flutter as the kiss continued to become more compelling and heated.

He came in closer carressing my silky hair tugging it backwards, making my head jerk up in response. He went in slight tongue, our tongues danced to a non-existent song before he pulled away to plaster purplish marks down my neck.

His surprisingly strong grip went from my hair down to my soft stomach, to my hips, placing more soft purple marks all of my neck and chest.

The rules my mom set in place were threw out the window and shat on.

I pulled off my shorts sexually and seductively, leaving me in a black thong, he took a quick second to examine my body, which made him really hard.

I began to straddle my self onto him, rubbing my clothed clit over his hard boner, i let out a soft moan as my pussy became impatient and wet. He grabbed onto my full hips as we both moaned in harmony. He slapped my ass supportively then threw his head back in pleasure; before completely flipping us over.

Noens pov:

___________________________________

She towered over me, a sexy stare like that is dangerous game to play, she slid off my shirt and placed love bites on my pale white skin, turning it blue.

I pushed her head down to my boner , that was desperately wanting to be pleased. She looked up at me with those innocent cute eyes and fluttery lashes.

"It hurts.." I complained playfully, then bit my lip as her hand pulled down my boxers, she seemed nervous, i didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't want to do.

"Hey you don't have to do it if you don't want to." I empathize, "Its fine." She said with a gulp.

She pulled out my cock, beginning  to slowly stroking it. She had to use two hands because one hand wouldn't fit around it.

i moaned in pleasure as she sucked on my sensitive tip, and stroked the rest my of my dick, Her mouth was to tiny to fit any more.

Every time she attempted to go deeper she would spit up more saliva and gag, tears formed in her eyes and her mascara was messed up and drippy.

She sucked, licked and flicked my dick, considering her being half a virgin shes really good at handling dick.

"sit on it." I erotically say before she took orders , sliding herself on me, she let out a long and soft moan.

She whimpered as she rode up and down onto my dick, "Your to- big" She would complain, "Shut up and take it." Id reply to her whiny self.

"Im gonna go faster, alright ?" I tell her, she nodded in agreement.  i slapped her ass cheeks leaving a bright red hand print then gripped a large chunk.

I started pounding into tight pussy, making her cheeks clap in response, Her slutty screams filled the room, her big titties bounced on my face.

My dick went in-and-out of her at a very speedy  pace, her pussy gripped so tightly around my dick which was beyond pleasurable. I let out rough and sexual moans as i felt myself come closer to my finishing point, "Im gonna cum!" She yelled repeatedly, "Say your a dirty little slut and ill let you finish." I tease, i watched her face go red from embarrassment.

"Say it." I say aggressively, slapping her ass cheek again.

"Im a dirty little slut." She whimpered.

"Fuck yea you are," I repeat over again before i bust deeply inside of her releasing all of my warm liquid into the slut, her legs began to tremble and shake as she hit her finishing point a little to hard.

"Shhh.. calm down." I say comforting her running my fingers through her hair, she let out little breaths and laid her self down on my chest, i kissed her forehead gently to let her know its all over.

"I love you." i quietly whisper into her hair as she she drifted off to sleep.

__________________________________

A/n:

should i write more long chapters or stick to the short ones.. or should i do both?

[kentonramsey]

Celine Looks To The Future With New TikTok Star Campaign

It’s no secret that Hedi Slimane is changing things up at Celine. But his latest move is shaping up to be his most interesting choice yet. This week, the brand announced a new face, and unless you were born after 1996, it’s probably not who you’d expect: 18-year-old Noen Eubanks, a TikTok star from Atlanta.

According to Google’s Year in Search, e-boys and e-girls, two concepts that were born around the same time as Generation Z, were among some of the most searched categories of 2019. And if there was ever a place where these groups of people could find each other, it would be on TikTok. So for brands like Celine that are looking for new ways to stay relevant among younger shoppers, choosing a TikTok e-boy like Eubanks is a good place to start.

View this post on Instagram

CELINE PORTRAIT PORTRAIT OF A TEEN IDOL: NOEN EUBANKS ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ PHOTOGRAPHED BY @HEDISLIMANE IN LONDON CELINE CLASSIC WESTERN TEDDY AND PERSONAL CROPPED TOP ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ AVAILABLE IN STORE AND AT CELINE.COM ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #CELINEBYHEDISLIMANE #CELINEPORTRAIT #NOENEUBANKS

A post shared by CELINE (@celine) on Dec 11, 2019 at 2:40am PST

According to one TikTok influencer, Gen Zers flock towards the app because of its authenticity; it’s not a charade. “While Instagram has grown into a well-established platform, TikTok has a young demographic that doesn’t care about the whole perfect shot thing,” Vicky Banham told Business of Fashion.

It’s interesting that a brand like Celine, whose success very much hinges on people wanting to buy perfect things, would choose someone like Eubanks, who is making a living being anything but perfect. Looking at Eubanks’ TikTok feed, you’ll find him doing a number of very real, unfiltered activities: brushing his teeth, dry shampooing his pink hair, hanging out at a suburban mall, and taking selfies with his best friend. Not exactly the golden-hour manicure shots or perfectly edited outfit pics that flood your Thursday morning Instagram feed.

But maybe that’s just what the luxury fashion landscape needs: something less high brow and polished, and something more true to life. Don’t get us wrong, we’re not ready for Celine’s curated Instagram content to go anywhere. But we also wouldn’t be mad if they paved a more authentic future with Noen Eubanks at the helm.

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Celine Looks To The Future With New TikTok Star Campaign published first on https://mariakistler.tumblr.com/

[people-likeflowers]

On to the sequel

A/N: Heey! I’m back. As I said before, english is not my native language, therefore if there is something wrong. I’m sorry. Also, this is a work of complete fiction and I don’t have anything against any one that is mentioned in this one shoot. Hope you enjoy! 

Mwah!

Summary: An AU where your best friend Noen Eubanks has to leave to achieve his dream but neither of them know that there are still things left to be said. 

Warnings: Angst, Fluff. 

Song: The Story - Conan Gray

You were in a crossroad. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. What would happen if you took this decision? What would happen if everything went wrong? How would you end up feeling? Probably worst that when he went away. But you were sure of something, the feelings that you two had, had been real. Only that, in those times, you didn't know what you wanted. Your careers were blurring any other life goal. Either way, right now, distance in time allowed you to comprehend that he, surely felt the same way as you.

Flashback:

- So, with Abby… what are you going to do? – you asked while you got comfortable in the little bed of your college dorm.

- Sincerely, I don't have an idea. It’s like… I can't make up my mind, I don't understand a thing of what’s going on. I know, that whenever I see her, I feel something, but I can’t seem to find the time to spend together. When I’m studying, I don't think of anything else rather that what I am doing. And…

- And… that makes you doubt your feelings even more. – You finished his phrase. This kind of things used to happen, you connected on a different level. Sometimes with only a look you would know what the other was feeling.

- Exactly – he said with sorrow – either way I think you are not much better. – Really you could read each other thoughts.

- No. You are right. But it’s similar to what it's going on with you. – At that moment you didn’t have a clue of what you were feeling. You thought it was the stress of the classes or that sometimes loneliness affected you a little too much. – Lately I feel like there’s a void in the center of my chest, but I can’t figure out where is it coming from. Although when I’m planning a shoot or something. Everything disappears.

Eventually you found the meaning behind that void, and he found the reason he wasn’t thinking a lot about his girlfriend. Nevertheless, by the time you two figured out your feelings, it was practically your graduation day. When both paths were about to separate for an indeterminate time. An indeterminate time that was almost three years without seeing each other. You used to hear stories from mutual friends, and you used to follow him on his social media. Although, when Benji and Jeyjey, visited him in Los Angeles, you asked them nicely that, they didn't tell you much about Noen. This made them cut their trip in a thirty minutes story. You still felt some sorrow when his name appeared somewhere.

You took your suitcase from the highest part of your wardrobe, and let it fall into the bed, open. Looked at it for a minute. You were frenetic. And your heart was beating fast.

Flashback

You were at Syd’s house, having dinner for the last time. You all used to had this tradition that on the third Sunday of the month you got together in his house to talk about your lives, prepare some weird dish and if it arouses, watch a film. But this was your last dinner being in college. It was a bittersweet situation.

You and Noen agreed on preparing an Indian recipe. You had found it the day that you had skipped class because you two still were hangover from last night and your stomachs were claiming for food constantly. That day you found this itty-bitty restaurant that belonged to a family in which their grandma still cooked their traditional dishes. One thing leads to the other and you ended up talking with said woman, who kindly told you all her culinary secrets.

You had decided to kick out every one of the kitchen and put on your speaker for cooking to the rhythm of the music. The chicken was being boiled and the sauce, which had some strange yellow color, was getting warmed. When, a song with a sweet slow melody started to sound. You were surprised and decided to quickly change it. Noen had recently ended his relationship with Abby. They were in good terms, but, even so, you knew he wasn’t fine.

He saw how you reacted and reached fast for you. In an impulsive gesture he took your hand and looking you straight in the eyes, said:

-Leave it - you didn't know what to do. You pursed your lips and went back to your last position. Leaned in the kitchen island, paying attention on how the food was being cooked. But this time, something had changed. Suddenly, you were aware about your body, you felt how Noen’s warmth was all over your side, his skin was soft, cold and hot at the same time. There was silence while you two heard the lyrics of the song. It was talking to you.

'Cause they loved one other

But never discovered

'Cause they were too afraid

Having time for the food to be done, they decided to sit on the floor. You two felt safer that way.

- How are you? - you asked without looking at him in the eyes. Unexpectedly the loose thread of your pants was the closest to a life saver that you had. And you hung to it so you wouldn't have to look at Noen.

- I’ve been better. But… I feel like it was what it had to do; you know? I didn't love her. And with the fact that I must go to the other side of the world, it wasn’t going to work. - the silence came back again, and a little sound escaped from your insides. Making Noen look at you. You were crying, you knew that you would miss him. A few days ago, you realized one thing that changed your whole world. You loved him. And that thing that burned sometimes was what you felt for him. You couldn't stop and the knot on your throat hurt you. - Oh, no. - both moved so you could face each other, you ended in between his legs. He looked at you with sad eyes. And started to dry your tears with his thumb. It made you cry even more. You felt thankful for the loud music, no one else could listen to you cry. He gently kissed your forehead and with both hands he pulled you closer to his shoulder. - we’ll be in touch. You don't have to worry about that. - he was trying really hard to say all these sweet things to calm you down but in your head the words, “but I love you”, “it’s never going to be enough”, repeated time after time. You felt as if these words could escape your mouth. You had to say something but without scaring him.

- But it won't be enough, I think I’m going to lose you and there will be this big hole in my life. - it was everything you could get out of your chest despite the pain you felt on your throat.

- I know, but we’ll try to make it work. I don't want to lose you either, you know how important you are to me. - then again, he took your face in his hands and joined your foreheads. His thumbs caressing your cheeks instinctively. Trying to calm you two down.

You couldn’t believe that you hadn’t seen it at that moment. His gestures were so intimate. How was it possible that you didn’t have the courage to tell him your feelings. Though, thinking about it now, you didn't know if you had it. But something had changed, everything in your body was asking for it and you had made you decide.

You went around in your little apartment, putting close attention to not forget anything. You did it fast, you didn’t want any intrusive thought around your head. Because it may make you stay.

The cold hit you in the face and in an instinctive act you closed the neck of your coat. Raised your hand to call a taxi, you were so engrossed in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed that it was snowing. Your shoes were not made for this weather.

When you got in the taxi, you told him to go to the airport while you texted Benji, asking him for the address of Noen. He answered with interrogation signs but then sent it. You entered to Tiktok again. You couldn’t believe that he still remembered. Or that he had even been aware of it too, that time you were cooking. In the video you could see him singing the words: 'Cause they loved one other. But never discovered. Cause they were too afraid. Of what they'd say. Moved to different states.”  While he did different moves and looked at the camera.

But that he had chosen that song wasn’t the only thing that had made you took the decision, but the fact that in the caption he had written: Missing a special someone. "I wonder if she's alright"

Flashback:

That morning you had woken up with a terrible nauseous feeling and there was no way you could stop them. Your strength was on the floor. You even noticed that you had a fever at some point. But you were sure of one thing, and that was that nothing was going to stop you from saying goodbye at the airport to your best friend. That's why that day you had only taken some tea and some light cookies. Nothing else.

When the boys came to pick you up, so you could all go together to see him off, they looked at you hastily, a worried face. They asked you if you were all right and if you really felt like going. To what you didn't say anything and made them get out of your house. The ride in the car made you feel even worse and a tingling sensation consumed your skin. And that feeling kept on going until you saw him, with his suitcase in his right hand waiting for it to be dispatched. And as always, his green Minecraft bag on his back with his neck pillow. You couldn't take it anymore but you either couldn't start bereaved crying right there in front of everyone. You wouldn't do that to Noen. Wouldn't make him leave with that anguish. This moment was going to change his life and you had to be happy for him. And. You Had. To. Be. Happy. For. Him.

However, you were not the one who broke down and went running to your arms when he had finished what he had to do. But him. When he finished his business with his suitcase, he went directly to you, he squeezed you in his arms trying to hide in your neck.

Which you started to feel wet. It was an intimate experience in one of the most public places of all. "Shh, Shh", you couldn't stop saying it while you brushed his scalp.

- That's it. That's it. You must go. It for a greater good. Everything will be all right - you tried to calm him down, when you didn't have the strength to do it. You didn't know where these words were coming from.

- But I don't know if this is what I want. I will be missing something. - now you were the one who joined your foreheads and who started to caress his cheeks. You noticed how his tears made them more slippery.

- No. That's not going to happen. Because with what you are, you are enough. You will be able to defeat everything you'll face and more. - your words were real. Of that you were sure.

- Its… you don't get it. I'm going to miss my special someone. We have never been this apart. - we both were still with our eyes clothed.

- Noen - a wail almost gets out of you, but you had stopped it. Looking at him straight in the eyes you said - You must go. - it was an order. You understood what he meant, but it wasn't the right moment. He needed to achieve his dream. You two hugged one more time and let it go. Then Noen went and said goodbye to his other friends. You withdrew back from the group.

When you saw him disappear in the gates of the airport, you couldn't hold it anymore and run to the closest trash. There you let go every single word you would never say to him.

You were in front of his apartment. It was still nighttime and the area that he lived gave you some chills. You didn’t felt like you had the courage to do it, but you were going to anyway. That video had not been random, and neither were the words that he had chosen. You couldn't take it any longer with just a video call. You needed to take a chance, at least this time. Your phone wouldn't stop vibrating and you knew perfectly who it was. But if you answered, you would back down. You were shivering, it could be as much from the frigid cold as from the nerves.

You rang the bell and said: “Oh, and I'm afraid that's just the way the world Works. But I think that it could work for you and me. Just wait and see… It's not the end of the story”

- Noen, it's me. I'm freezing. I came for you.