#noelian heights

[tundrafloe]

Noel: “It was good to go on mainstream TV and confuse some people.”

(Nuts magazine, 2011)

[pinchinschlimbah]

Ok real talk….when you correct for shoes, hair, hats, and posture, what do you think Noel and Julian’s actual height difference is?

[tundrafloe]

A goddess!

[sixx6ixxsixx]

I could be brown 

I could be blue 

I could be violet sky

I could be hurtful

I could be purple

I could be anything you like

Gotta be green

Gotta be mean

Gotta be everything more

Why don't you like me?

Why don't you like me?

Why don't you walk out the door!

[anciientboosh]

Arctic Boosh

[youspeakshit]

WIP Wednesday

I didn’t know this was a thing, and I didn’t think of adding to it until two minutes ago. But I’ve been working on a Noelian fic for abt a month now and I don’t think I’ll be finished for another one... So yeah, I wanna share some of it with everyone! This part is a bit of the ‘plot’ that preludes a lot of...filth lmao. And I mean filth. And I mean a lot.

"Please don't tell me you're taking me to your secret sex corner. That's disgusting."

"Oh, my God!" Noel laughs, voice going high, throwing an incredulous look over his shoulder. "All we did there was smoke some weed, you creep."

"Sure."

"My body was a temple until I met you."

Before Julian has time to strongly oppose such a ludicrous statement, Noel makes a sharp turn to the left and stops by a sketchy-looking double door. He goes straight for the handle as if to check it's locked, and it is. Instead of giving up, though, he shoots Julian a cheeky look as he leans against it and moves the handle in odd directions, tongue poking out. Julian doesn't think anything is going to happen until there's a click and Noel smiles broadly, pushing the doors open with a dramatic flourish, the 'ta-dah!' in his stance heavily implied.

"Almost twenty years since I was here and this lock is still shit, can you believe?" He shakes his head disappointedly at the door and enters the room, Julian following behind.

Honestly, Julian doesn't know what he was expecting, yet he still feels slightly disappointed by the abandoned classroom they walk into. It's a big room with bare cement walls that seem to go up infinitely and huge industrial windows to the left, bringing in the yellow light from the streetlamps outside. Judging by how old-fashioned everything looks, Julian guesses it has been a storeroom for quite some time.

"No offense, but a bit underwhelming. Three stars."

"Oh, fuck off," Noel replies, walking to the windows and jumping on the deep concrete sill to sit. Julian watches as he looks around, eyes lingering on random objects and corners. "This room has been like this forever, it was everyone's secret place. But like, the cool kids would tell the other cool kids. Word of mouth," he continues, longing so strong in his voice that Julian finally leaves the spot by the door and gets closer. He drops the coat on a table nearby and steps up to Noel, standing between his spread legs. Noel's lost gaze snaps to Julian's and he gives a bittersweet grin. "Whenever we had an exhibition week, we'd come here every day to smoke and talk for hours before the gallery opened."

It isn't Julian's nostalgia, yet he feels a burn deep in his chest, knowing exactly what it means to Noel. A place full of memories, a special moment in your life you can never go back to. There's no way to relive it, even if you tried; it's all tied to who you were and how life was then. 

"I'm jealous, I've never been in a room full of artsy teaheads. Sounds unbearable," Julian jokes, hoping to lighten up the mood. Noel rolls his eyes at him, lightly kicks his leg, and Julian responds by pushing a lock of hair behind Noel's ear, giving him a brief, close-mouthed kiss. Noel reacts right away, threading his fingers through Julian's hair, pulling him in and opening up his mouth, tongue working itself over Julian's.

They kiss and kiss and kiss and he feels as Noel relaxes again, arms moving to wrap around his torso, hands clutching the small of his back. Julian keeps his on Noel's face and neck, gripping his nape, then sliding down his throat, pushing his thumb into the hollow base there. He was only going for a brief distraction, but the way Noel moves closer to the edge and gently rubs himself against Julian... That's a different story. And Julian wants it just the same.

Moving slowly, he drags his fingers from Noel's clavicle and down his chest to fit his big hands on narrow hips. He pulls until Noel has no choice but to jump off the sill, boots clicking as they hit the wooden floor, never breaking the kiss. This is common territory now: Julian bending down slightly, Noel reaching up with his whole body, meeting in the middle to properly grab at each other. When they get like this it's all-consuming and enthralling, the height difference making Julian practically fold himself around Noel. It's an intimate position that turns Julian on even more.

[the-stoned-ranger]

12, 14, 17, 23. 😈

Well, this took me a few days because I can’t write just 300 words about anything. Enjoy!

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Howince: They’re both too stupid to have any real opinions on politics. Vince doesn’t pay much attention at all, but Howard had intellectual pretensions and pretends to understand politics, but he’s just as much of an idiot as Vince and ultimately doesn’t understand what’s going on enough to have much of an opinion about it.

Noelian: I think their values are pretty similar, but Julian is probably the more politically-minded and politically active of the two of them. He had a very progressive mother (9th house moon in Leo), and from her he learned the importance of standing up for your beliefs, voting with your conscience, and participating in the political process. Once Julian’s mind is made up on a political issue, however, he rarely changes it (Cancer 9th house cusp). Noel, on the other hand, is probably more liberal, as his Saturn in the 9th house makes him distrustful of authority figures. His political beliefs are very changeable (Gemini 9th house cusp), which probably annoys Julian, though I don’t think their political beliefs are incompatible. 

14. What would be a dealbreaker?

Howince: For Howard, lack of monogamy. He’s too insecure to compete with anyone else for Vince’s affections. For Vince, lack of attention. If Howard’s the type to do the silent treatment or feign indifference, Vince checks out.

Noelian: For Julian, lack of maturity and consistency. He’s threatened by Noel’s changeable nature; at first, he was thrilled by not knowing which Noel he would get on a day-to-day basis, bit over time, he grew to resent that about him. For Noel, Julian’s indifference. If he can’t have Julian be happy with him, he would rather have Julian angry or upset with him than to be ignored or not care at all.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

Howince: For Howard, hairspray and glitter and alcopops. For Vince, pipe tobacco, tea, and old books.

Noelian: For Noel, cigarettes and the smell of Ralph Lauren Safari (Julian wears this and Tom Ford’s Italian Cypress, you can’t change my mind, but Italian Cypress is newer, Safari was what he wore through the 90s and mid 2000s during the peak Boosh years). The particular smell of Julian’s unwashed hair. Real wool sweaters--the way they keep you warm but scratch against your skin, the way they smell when they get damp. For Julian, fog machines and flashing lights. The way Noel’s hair tickles against his lips every time he leans in to whisper something in his ear. The smell of cosmetics, that delicate, ricelike powderiness. Cherry lip balm. The burning, acrid feeling the morning after a cocaine binge, the way you can almost taste your own nostrils in the back of your throat.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language. HAHAHA I did only one (Noelian) because it’s 700 words.

Julian hates these things. His least favorite part of being the Boosh is the endless promotion--one interview after another, sucking up to the kind of people he hates, the kind of people whose voices are unnaturally perky and have unnaturally-white teeth. The only saving grace is Noel. Like a lightning rod or a 3-pronged outlet, he grounds Julian through the excruciating process.

Like now. The interviewer leers too close, making a lame joke as she attempts to draw Julian out of his shell. It backfires--he slumps into the sofa, trying to put as much distance between himself and her faked, over-the-top enthusiasm, her big hair and her big teeth too close for comfort. Every time Julian slumps into the sofa, Noel slumps into him, closing the space between them until their hips bump against each other, so close that not even air can fit between them. 

Even in public like this, their bodies betray how well they know each other. Every motion Julian makes, Noel mirrors, unconscious of the way his body follows Julian’s own. Julian crosses his legs, Noel crosses his, fitting his thigh under Julian’s own. Their bodies are a perfect fit. Not for the first time, Julian wishes they were alone, instead of on display like this--this should be private, for the two of them alone, not the audience. They don’t have the right, shouldn’t have the right, to see something so intimate.

As Julian slips further into solipsism, Noel smiles and laughs at something the interviewer says. He turns to Julian expectantly, as if seeking his approval for whatever nonsense has tumbled out of his mouth. Julian, who has no idea what’s been said, merely grunts, and Noel’s eyes flash with something cruel.

The expression sends a frisson of electricity up Julian’s spine. He knows that look well--the look that says Noel is disappointed in him, that there will be consequences for Julian’s surlish behavior. Julians wriggles in his seat, trying (and failing) to stop the memory that flashes across his vision: the consequences last time had been so, so sweet, even as his arse burned from the spanking Noel had given him in their dressing room all the way through their second interview of the day.

Noel watches him from the corner of his eye. To anyone else, he looks perfectly enthralled by his conversation. But Julian knows better--he knows Noel is preternaturally aware of the way Julian squirms by the way his eyes flicker to him after every sentence. 

Noel responds to something the interviewer says, grasping Julian’s hand in his own, placing both of them on Julian’s thigh. A bead of sweat trickles down Julian’s neck, who is already making excuses in his head about the heat of the stage lights, when it’s really the heat of Noel’s hand affecting him so. 

Julian fidgets, and the hand on his thigh pinches him hard enough that he startles. Later, he’ll pass it off as discomfort, insisting that he simply hates being interviewed. But that’s only half the truth, and not the most important truth neither. The most important truth is that while he hates the interviews, he loves the rough way Noel treats him afterwards as he reminds Julian of his place. He’s already squirming with anticipation, looking forward to the way Noel will crowd into his personal space backstage, his platform boots giving him enough height to whisper filth directly into Julian’s ear.

Noel’s lips are moving as he responds to another question, but Julian’s too distracted by the shape of his lips to register what he’s saying, and when Noel cocks his head and asks him for his opinion, Julian realizes he has no idea how he’s meant to answer.

When Noel pinches him again, Julian has to suppress a shiver. The interviewer scowls, perhaps picking up on his impatience for the interview to be over, and Julian smirks, but not for the reasons she must think. Noel notices, a mischievous grin quirking at his glossy lips at Julian’s discomfort, a promise of what’s in store for Julian once they’re offstage and in private glinting blue and bold in his eyes, a promise for Julian and Julian alone, all the watching eyes of the live audience be damned.

[tundrafloe]

From the "Let's Dance" rehearsals in 2011:

Noel: "Satin does feel quite good."

[concupiscence66]

Help!

My daughter is obsessed with Noel's Wuthering heights dance, but I cannot find the video where he hides in the woods and then gets trained to dance with the leg warmers and ruff. Anyone have a link????

[yeahwehadatime]

noel’s tweeting about playing in leeds tonight, the “birthplace of (his) comedy brother” and then goes and posts this on instagram as a booster for the carlisle show (ha ha ha ha yeah that’s why you googled this one) and it is WAY too early for this... 

[peacockbluey]

Boosh Photo Challenge, Day 11: Boosh Experience

I admit, I was tempted to upload something that said "Error: file not found," because I have not been fortunate enough to have any personal encounters with the Boosh or the people behind it. But then I realized that I had to go with Noelian Heights, because that WAS a great experience, and no less so for not being in person.

I was lucky enough to be in the fandom already at that time, and we'd all been restless, wondering about the direction of the Boosh. They hadn't done anything together since Zappafest. A certain amount of dread had begun to set in. Leading up to the finals, Noel promised us on Twitter that he had "a cheeky little twist up [his] red sleeve," and there was a lot of speculation about what that twist might be. Could Julian possibly be involved? A lot of people wondered, but it seemed so unlikely, since Julian HATES that kind of thing.

And then came the day of the final. Noel did his dance, just as he had before; there were no twists or alterations that we could see. (We were all breathlessly watching either on television or via live stream.) And then! Then! Noel looked up and off stage with that MASSIVE cheeky grin. And Julian came on, gone Full Heathcliff! And Noel beamed like a thousand suns when Julian crossed that stage and gestured to him and said, "Come on, Little Man," and he leaped into Julian's arms and they twirled around, as Julian swept him off the stage in true romance novel fashion. I remember the shock and the amazement and the joy, both watching it and afterward. Had this really happened?!? Was it a collective hallucination?

But no, it was real, and it was their message to and for the fans: we're still here, we still love each other, we know you're going to love this. And we did. We really did. We were high on happiness. How many fandoms give you THIS?

[thinkingabouthair]

Heathcliff, it's me.

[skeletonjambouree]

So I'm reading Wuthering Heights right now, but it's difficult for me to appreciate it in its own right because all I can see in my mind's eye is Noel twirling around in his little red dress and Julian eyebrowing the audience, and yeah, I can't exactly read it with a straight face.

[i-mean-obsidian-raven-mcbovril]

I'm just going to leave this here....

[tundrafloe]

In 2016, Noel spoke to LA Weekly about why he paid homage to Kate Bush at “Let’s Dance for Comic Relief.”

Noel: “I was doing it because I love her so much. It took me a month to learn two minutes of dancing — that's how rubbish I am — but I loved it.”

[concupiscence66]

I showed the Vincess Noelian Heights today.  She saw it back in the day, but didn’t remember it.  When Julian walked out at the end, she yelled, “Howard?  What are you doing here?”