#nobody wants to read this but i just need to write down my thoughts jfsdkf

[swankitty]

tl;dr: i fuckin loved both versions of dark era. both brought a different lens to view the story through and both did it wonderfully. 10/10 recommend both reading and watching to get the Full Effect of dark era so you can break down crying in the middle of your room

So, after binge watching and reading both the anime ver and the light novel ver of Dark Era, I can successfully say that I am absolutely reeling from the sheer quality of both. The anime takes its own liberties from the light novels. Some stuff was added, some was not. Thus, the light novels were able to provide a bit more depth to things the anime just couldn’t make room for. But both versions were phenomenal in their own right. 

Here’s the thing: I shied away from going through dark era because a) I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the pain and b) I haven’t had a great experience with light novel translations, and trudging through pages of choppy writing wasn’t my experience of a fun time. 

So I watched the anime first. 

Let me just preface this by saying: I love the bsd anime adaptations in general. It’s not perfect, but I think they translate from manga –> motion very smoothly, and the soundtrack for bsd is incredible as well. 

Dark era didn’t disappoint. I went into it with a pretty clear slate. I knew generally what was going to happen (Oda dies, Ango is a triple agent, Mimic, etc) but I hadn’t dug enough to really connect the dots between everything. 

Some things I really liked b/c I don’t have the energy to form coherent sentences right now. I tried to be in chronological order but failed: 

the opening scene with them taking the pictures?? i was shook. it was so.. calm, for the lack of a better word. happy. the shot of dazai from below was freakin’ adorable, and so were the almost grudging portraits of the other two. 

it makes sense, then, that the final picture of the three of them almost made me start crying

at then at the end of everything, when ango leaves the picture at the table, i just. drags hand down face

natsume sensei just. hanging around the buraiha. what is he planning

odasaku cares so much (but didn’t want to cross any lines, didn’t want to break the boundaries all three of them had already set, didn’t realize that he could have until it was too late)

i think mori is a great character but i hate his guts

BURAIHA’S FIRST MEETING. when i watched it i was like is this really happening

i… liked it. the way oda just went along with dazai’s dumb suggestion, the hugging threat

me, thinking about how oda/dazai/ango could grow to be good friends and mutually support each other in a different world: crying

dazai’s personality shifts. it’s so jarring to see him switch from a silly, laidback kid to a ruthless, sharp mafia boss. this boy wears so many masks and keeps his heart locked away so deep i wonder if he even knows what his real personality is like

i’ve seen the scene where dazai shoots akutagawa so many times in amvs but actually seeing it animated….oh boy

the game console scene with hirotsu is like. a perfect example of this.

the animation where dazai picks the safe’s lock was really memorable. like it was so dazai in its nonchalance but really ofc dazai would know how to pick locks with a paper clip

that one scene where dazai is trying to stop oda from going to seek out gide and his voice shakes as he yells out! the way dazai tries to reach out and touch oda’s shoulder but misses! it was the first time dazai had raised his voice in anything other than a humorous tone!!!!! ughg 

ok this hurt so much b/c of my previous point…dazai hides behind masks and personalities that serve his purpose and his reaction here may as well have been another mask but it felt so raw and scared

“it is a given that everything worth wanting will be lost the moment i obtain it” - holy shit!!!!!! y’all dazai considered ango a friend and wanted to stay as his friend and i guess it’s one of the only things he’d actually truly wanted selfishly and he can’t even have that 

he is also literally seconds away from getting to the room before odasaku is shot

talk about “holding onto the pieces of what will never return”

“you should forget about your debts. no one remembers what you owe to them.”

literally at this point im just lying on the floor, dying

odasaku picking up akutagawa one-handed and just slings him over his shoulder. iconic

the orphans’ death scene was done… so well. the details of the event went a bit differently from the novel, but i thought the anime ver was more efficient and hurt just a little bit more

mori’s long laugh during the boat scene was so unsettling but so distinctly mori that i couldn’t. not appreciate it

RANPO CAMEO!!

god… r: if you go you will die. o: i know. 

the fight sequence between oda and gide?? beautiful. 

oda killing so ruthlessly and so efficiently as he makes his way to the mansion….the fact that he slipped so easily back into the routines and the skills he needed is sadly fitting

the entire goddamn thing with natsume sensei and oda and why don’t you write the ending of this story? and writing novels is about writing people. about how they live and how they die and humans live to save themselves. they will understand this before they die 

i loved. loved how this was a recurring thing throughout the last half and how, in the end, oda ties everything together through this

odasaku literally dies in dazai’s arms while giving him a reason to live again 

be on the side that saves people

Then, I went through the light novel. In general, I felt that while the novel couldn’t convey movement & action like the anime did (plus the novel didn’t have that amazing soundtrack backing it up), it flowed together so nicely. Props to the translator, because there were some really beautiful lines in there that knocked my hat off. Also, the light novels allowed for a little more introspection on Oda’s part, which was really nice. 

the first part of the prologue that wasn’t included in the anime: 

“Success is harder than failure for many things in this world, right?…That means I shouldn’t place suicide as my goal, but rather, attempted suicide! It may be harder to succeed at suicide, but to fail at attempted suicide should be easier! “

goddamn it dazai please. ple as e someone give this boy some love

“Dazai rarely says something like “sorry”, so his words are surprisingly sincere.”

dazai respects oda so much that he is willing to give when he realizes he’s gone a little too far!!!!

“If the circumstances were different, if I had a different relationship with Dazai, it would not be surprising if I’d punched Dazai right there and then in such a situation.”

oh my god!!!!!! oh my go d

“With every step I take, I feel as though the earth has opened up into a bottomless pit as I fall endlessly.As Dazai pointed to his forehead and approached the muzzle, the look on his face – like that of a child about to burst into tears – had already been branded upon my eyes.”

hey i love being emo

the fuckin vaccum cleaner analogy. 

ok…it was weird but it hurt a lot

later in the novel, at the end, oda says he regrets not being able to help dazai by 

“Everything only exists as shapes that one’s eyes can see, simply brushing past us.The only thing mankind can do is to silently stand before the ravines between others.” - this is such?? a beautiful line

“But now, I’m a little regretful that I never stepped into that loneliness impolitely.”

oh my god……………oh my god!! see i’m pretty sure this bit wasn’t included in the anime (i’m pretty sure it was implied tho!!)

oda’s regrets are so centered around dazai (which, you know, makes sense) but it’s just. the relationship between oda and dazai was probably the best dazai had ever had at that point in his life but even then!! even then the stableness that oda was able to offer dazai wasn’t enough. and really it’s the fault of both sides (or is anyone at fault at all?)

“At this moment, Dazai realises for the first time. Odasaku understood him far beyond what Dazai had ever thought. He had already reached close to his heart, the place near the centre of his heart. Before this, Dazai had never noticed there was someone who understood him so well.For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted to know something from the depths of his heart.”

this passage literally speaks for himself like. boy. we could’ve had it all. 

things i’m forever bitter about: the anime didn’t include the graveyard scene

dazai putting the picture on oda’s (unmarked. unmarked!!!!!) gravestone!! 

just the fact that he didn’t want to keep it, didn’t want to cling onto this illusion of a memory of a past where his friends weren’t dead or traitors is so sad

or maybe, maybe he thought such a memento would be best left in oda’s hands - oda, who might as well have been the glue that kept the three of them together

in the end oda really did get to spend the rest of his time by the sea