#nobody stands close enough and i don't understand why because friends are close and enemies are too

[elytrafemme]

i want to be like you. i want to slip under your skin and absorb whatever chemicals and hormones make you the way that you are. i want to rip a hole in your heart so i can sleep inside and my head will pound with yours as you stumble forward unknowingly. i want to understand the conscious thought that comes every time you extend your hand out and i want to drink those lines of thoughts like an antidote to this. i want to understand weathering the painful and still having this quintessential piece of you, this sacred thing i can never have again, i want to chew it up and swallow it and let the appendix burst inside me because you can't get rid of it. you can't take this liquid consistency from me again. most of the time i don't know if i'm still bleeding or if i just temporarily stopped. if i can hiatus my own blood like a superpower i never wanted. i want to bleed all the time and everywhere, i want us both soaked in blood because there's no other way to end this. i am clawing up the walls and screaming into your ribs and smearing my tears against your calloused skin and i don't think you can hear me at all. i don't think you can see me. you see the shadow behind me, the same as ever, but there are no shadows if there are no men and you must see me deconstructed and hate, hate, hate it. and love it as well.

[angstfactory]

It was wholly inappropriate, the way a suspicious snort -- maybe half giggle? -- escaped only to quickly be covered by just as sudden a clearing of her throat and a hand that came up to swipe the tickle under her nose. This whole situation... Neylani found it absurd. The fact she had to sit down a man how much older than herself, and treat him like the damned irresponsible child... Especially when it wasn't like they were family, or even real friends, were they? Ney racked her brain-- it wasn't like either of them had taken a moment out of their day to ever once sit down to share a real conversation, or laugh, or enjoy each other's company. No, every interaction with this bastard centered around this bullshit. His problems, his drinking, his countless arrests (not to mention the fair share she had saved him from).

She went out of her way, to try and help this person who was a veritable nobody in her own life. He didn't even care about anything but booze and sex, and maybe on occasion his own starved-for-his-attention children. And now he had the damned nerve, to stand in her kitchen after sleeping in her bed, prepared a warm meal by her hand, wearing her brother's clothes, and tell her she had no right to do any of this? No, he had never asked for her help, and he had often didn't thank her for it, either. Sometimes, though, people helped each other to help each other, because it was just the right thing to do.

The sheriff also abandoned her breakfast and stood, to match him on level. They all had their moments of being thoughtless, selfish, irresponsible, and temperamental people-- emotions happened, they were all entitled to them. It was natural, this immediate knee-jerk anger; she had known to expect it. Ney wasn't able to truly enforce this blacklist as she claimed -- all she could do was ask the establishments not to serve him -- but she'd rather him believe so.

"Sorry, Mr. Baudelaire," she said, a bit coolly, "but in case you missed major facts about myself, I happen to be sheriff in Raven's Peak. It's literally my job to step into people's lives." Perhaps, not in this way, but that wasn't her point. "I'm a former fighter pilot in the United States Marine Corp, and the DNA that runs through me has existed to protect this town and its residents for centuries." She circled around the table, but stopped short of approaching the other wolf, because she couldn't be sure what kind of man he was behind closed doors. Experience said to err on the side of caution even if her instincts said he wouldn't do anything to her, it wasn't a good idea to tempt it. Last thing she wanted, was for any of this to come to a physical altercation. This was for his benefit, not hers. She did, however, lean forward as her fingertips rested lightly on the table's surface as she informed, "That includes you. I can't leave behind a fallen comrade."

Now, her arms crossed over chest. "You can always walk out, I'm not going to stop you," she offered, because she wouldn't. He was not a prisoner here. "But if you really are a grown ass man, as you claim, then I'd hope you have enough respect for yourself and me, to take a moment and breathe, and understand that I'm not your enemy. In fact, I would bet I'm one of the very few in this town, that's actually in your corner, wanting to help you."

She shook her head, staring at him with open, genuine puzzlement. "Why don't you want help?" Ney pressed. "Do you like being a drunk? Do you like waking up with headaches, barely remembering any events of the night before? Do you like feeling miserable?" She didn't understand it, why someone would immediately reject something as innocent as help, unless they wanted to stay broken. Which could very well be possible. He may be intentionally doing what he could, to see himself to an early grave. "I'll give you that I don't know you intimately, we're not friends, we're not family-- I'm just some woman tries to keep you out of jail. But I was here, you know, when you were a completely different man and I don't think that man, would like the man you are today." It wasn't like she was completely clueless, she did have some insight to the matter, even she didn't have all the answers or blanks filled in. "I will never believe that the man who helped me," Ney's voice had become delicate then, as this touched upon a personal vulnerability neither of them had addressed since the festival, "is a 'bad guy'." He may not remember what he said, but she did.

Hungrily, the man stared down at the sausage and eggs just glad to have a homemade breakfast.  Although Roman was an excellent cook, the wolf hardly ever cooked anymore.  He hated cooking just for himself and he rarely could get his children to come out to the trailer and spend dinner with him.

“Talk?”

There was some vague memory of the woman mentioning the two needed to discuss something, but last night was a bit of a blur.  As he began to eat, he halted immediately when Neylani began to speak again.  The man’s grip on the fork tightened as he stared at her in disbelief.  Who the fuck does she think she is?

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Right now, it was taking every ounce of self control to control his temper.  To the point his body was shaking with rage as he continued to stare at her.

“I’ve got to stop drinking?  You need to stop fucking interfering in people’s lives.  I am a grown ass man who can make his own decisions and you have no fucking right to do this.”

Roman knew deep down he needed to get sober, he tried a few times in the past but it never lasted long.  The nightmares would return and it never seemed to make a difference in his relationships.  Finally, he just stood up and placed the fork down.

“I need to get the fuck out of here.”

[mistaeq]

Multiple Character Work: an s/o Pulling them into Dancing

TW // none

This was a request by @memory-mortis , I wish I still could answer to it directly but Tumblr is a dick. Enjoy the answer hun, hope you like it! <3

Kujo Jotaro, Higashikata Josuke, Narancia Ghirga, Leone Abbacchio with an s/o who pulls them into dancing, fem!s/o

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

You felt incredibly good. The music was something you had needed for so much time, considering all the bad events that had happened lately. You kinda knew that all the eyes were on you, there was who was smiling, who was following the rythm of the music. And then there was your boyfriend.

May it be because he was tired, may it be because he was too focused on your moves. But he wasn't absolutely dancing. It was funny to finally dance after all that time. But after you had fell in love with him, you felt like dancing with him could have been even better.

If you could only convince him...

KUJO JOTARO

You approached him, with a sly smile on your face. Jotaro willingly ignored you. You were in the middle of the desert and had found a working radio which was playing good music? It all looked too weird, to him. An enemy stand user who was try to make them let their guard down? It was night, and the six of you were getting ready to sleep, after a long day. But the music was inside of you, right now.

You started dancing around, jumping around Joseph and Polnareff, who were laughing, twirling all around Kakyoin while Avdol was clapping his hands. They also looked incredibly pleased, thanks to the music. But Jotaro, your boyfriend, was a mixture between kind and shocked. He was so stressed, poor boy, and you could tell by how he was staring at the radio.

"A... A radio enemy stand which makes people go crazy..." he was mumbling, while you were getting closer to him, wanting to take his hands in yours and pulling you into dancing with you. As soon as you were close enough to be in his range of action, he suddenly summoned Star Platinum, scaring you to death. You fell on the soft desert sand, looking at him in shock.

"J-Jotaro...?" he just stood there, angrily staring at you.

"Y/n. Are you being possessed by this enemy stand?" Star Platinum was just right in front of you, as you shook your head and swallowed. The crusaders were as shocked as you were. Jotaro was too stressed. After all, his mother's life was in danger and all he could think about was defeating Dio. After he understood what was going on, his stand disappeared, and he hid his face under his black hat. "Nevermind. Sorry."

You stood up, getting closer to him again. This time, instead of grabbing his hands, you took off his hat, putting it on your own head. It was too big for you, it fell on your eyes. You smiled to him.

"It's okay, JoJo. You can never know where an enemy might be. You've been careful, and that's always good." you wrapped your arms around his torso. "I just really, really wanna dance with the boy I love." The ordinary Jotaro would have never done it, but this Jotaro, so nervous, maybe needed it.

You took him by the hand, and pulled him away from his thoughts, gently moving his arms on the rythm of the music. His hands moved directly on your waist, and you smiled. This caused a bunch of whispered comments from the others.

"Oh my god."

"Ooh la la."

Jotaro killed Joseph and Jean Pierre with his gaze, but then went back at watching you. He held you closer, and you swore you saw a smile on him.

"Didn't know you were this good at dancing." You commented, caressing his neck.

"This is not... good." Jotaro snorted. "It's just dancing, y/n."

"Mind letting me decide whether this is good or not, Kujo?" at this answer of yours, he answered with a smirk. You broke the perfect dancing pose, to hug him tight and stand on tiptoe, leaving a quick peck on his lips.

"Thank you for dancing with me, JoJo."

"How cute, a kiss~" Joseph teased his grandson.

"Oh, l'amour." Jotaro killed his grandpa and his french friend, afterwards.

HIGASHIKATA JOSUKE

The slight pain of an elbow on his arm and the sound of a raspy voice woke him up from his daydreaming. He'd never tried to go in a dance club. It was quite a mess.

"Oi Josuke." the boy huffed. "Your girlfriend over there is staring at you. She's totally hot, you should go, she looks like she wants to dance, huh Josuke?" you were, in fact, dancing around, kinda staring at him. But he was there with his best friend. You would have annoyed him, maybe?

"Okuyasu, are you hungry?" Josuke asked, staring at you from afar but talking to his bestie.

"Yes, like a lot."

"Fantastic." Josuke smirked. "I am not. How about you go eating something? Mh?" his best friend's eyes widened.

"Oooh... I understand, Josuke." unbelievable. "Have fun Josuke, okay Josuke? Bye J o s u k e e e ...."

As soon as he left, you kinda decided it was your time to shine. And he was slightly smiling, too.

"JoJo!" You approached your boyfriend wiggling your hips around - more or less like the iconic Suzi Q approaching Joseph -, and then rested your hands on his chest, right on the heart shaped unbuttoned part of his uniform. "What are you doing here all alone?"

"Ah..." Josuke tried to play the victim, to make you baby him. "My best friend said he had better things to do and left me alone..."

"Yeah, right..." you teased him and gently kissed him, ignoring the voices of jealous girls behind you who would have wanted to be you. "You don't like it here?"

"I've never been in a dance club... 's pretty chaotic."

"Yes, but the good thing is you can be yourself without getting judged. Just dance, Josuke." you grabbed the hands he was resting on your back, and brought them to your hips.

As soon as you pulled Josuke with you, not in the middle of the crowd - you still wanted your intimacy with him -, but not too far, you felt someone pushing you, making you stumble on Josuke's feet. Luckily, he caught you just in time not to make you fall. You decided not to turn around. You just smiled, pissed off.

"Who pushed me, Josuke?" the boy watched. He saw a girl, he didn't know her, though.

"Someone jealous, I think." he just answered, giggling and holding you tighter while moving with you on the music.

Nobody in the dance club saw it coming, but Josuke knew pretty well what you were doing, seeing your stand pop up behind you and punching that girl. He laughed, and that made you the happiest. "Maybe we should look surprised?" he suggested. You shook your head.

"Nah, nevermind..." your hands moved to his shoulders, and you kissed him again, while you were dancing.

The only ones to dance, to be honest. Everyone was being shocked about the girl who had been punched by your stand - nobody could see it -, and everyone's eyes were on the couple who was ignoring her. You two. Josuke blushed a little, but he had to admit that night with you in the dance club was priceless.

NARANCIA GHIRGA

You were shocked. Bucciarati had asked to put such a cute music at Libeccio's purposely for the gang to relax a bit. Even Abbacchio was quietly humming on the music. But Narancia, a known music lover and great dancer, was just sitting at the table, his fork wandering around his plate, not wanting to eat.

Probably wanting to dance, but holding back. Why was he holding back? Even you, his girlfriend, were dancing, and he was just there, almost sad looking. From afar, you gestured him into joining you, but he just tried to avoid your gaze.

You then got worried and curious about what was he thinking about, and you reached for him.

"Oi... Nara?" you kneeled down, next to his chair, and kissed him on his cheek. "Won't you join us? Won't you join me?" He looked at you. You could tell he wanted to dance, too.

"Y/n... why do you want me to dance with you?" you got a little taken aback by his question. "I'm still trying to figure out why did you choose me over someone like Bruno or Abbacchio..." your expression softened.

"I chose you over them..." you hugged him to make him stand up from the chair. "...because it's you who I like, Narancia. Very easy. And I'd rather dance once with you than a million times with them. Understood?" you kissed his forehead, cheeks and nose. He smiled shyly.

"Are you sure we can dance together, then?" Narancia asked. You noticed how Bucciarati was actually listening to your conversation. He was thinking about how to thank you later for making Narancia happy and confident about himself again.

"It's you the real dance machine, come dance wi-" you saw Aerosmith flying over your head, and as you noticed it, Narancia had already disappeared.

You turned around and saw him dancing like he had wanted to do that for hours, Aerosmith flying all around him happily, hitting the rythm of the music with its user. You immediately joined him, but you were more focused on looking at how happy he was. Narancia was your ray of sunshine, you couldn't hold back from hugging him while he was dancing, so he could lead you and do the same dance steps with you.

As you two danced together, your two stands could be seen having fun together on the rythm. Bucciarati was laughing, Giorno was happily smiling, Fugo and Abbacchio humming the music along with the radio. Mista tried to stand up to join you and Narancia, but Abbacchio grabbed his blue turtleneck, pulling him back on his chair.

You couldn't understand if it was because he didn't want another idiot to dance or if he actually wanted you and Narancia to enjoy your moment together. Trish was sitting on the table, yelling for a good cause.

"Won't we get to see a kiss between you two?"

Narancia had never felt comfortable in kissing on your lips in front of the gang, but he was so excited thanks to the music, that he just got closer to you, pressing his lips on yours. You felt your cheeks go on fire, but you were happy that Narancia was happy, too.

LEONE ABBACCHIO

Narancia and Mista were dancing, their music so loud everyone even outside could hear it, you dancing along with them. Too many times you pretended to stumble on your boyfriend's foot, slouched on the couch, with his eyes closed and his headphones on, just to get his attention. But he just ignored you.

You grew tired of waiting for Abbacchio to care about you stumbling on his foot, and just did what you knew he hated. You didn't actually do nothing weird, just sat next to him, without him noticing. The two boys who were dancing immediately understood what you wanted to do.

"Oh, Mista, try to put your hands around my waist, so we can dance better." Mista and Narancia were quietly giggling.

"Mmmm." was the only sound Abbacchio produced, angrily opening an eye, just to see you were sitting next to him, luckily without Mista's hands around you. You laughed.

"Hi, love."

"Mmm." you got closer and took off his headphones, since you were the only one who could do this without risking an immediate death. He opened both his eyes, and looked at you. Then he managed to put together two words. "What is it, amore?"

You stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling it to make him stand up. He's heavy, and won't stand up.

"Please?" you puppy eyed him, shaking his hands a little. You understood you had to use your trump card. "I would be so happy if you danced with me... Leone." he just couldn't say no, when you called him with his first name.

He huffed, standing up and blushing.

"I'm... fine with it, but... please, change the song... I like something more classical."

"Mh..." you hummed. "We getting romantic?" you just succeeded in making Abbacchio blush even more. You should thank God that you're yourself, or Leone would have scolded you several times for exposing him like this.

"Kinda." he said, as Narancia changed his music to something slower. Abbacchio posed to start dancing, and you looked at him, confused. He smirked. "You want to dance with me and don't know how to dance what I like?" Leone giggled. "This means I'll have to teach you." He put a hand on your waist, and moved a hand of yours on his shoulder.

"Try to stay closer to me... our chests have to be close, our heads don't." he said, as he guided you in your dance steps, under the amused eyes of Narancia and Mista.

"What do you mean our heads don't... what are we, Transformers?" Abbacchio snorted, smirking a little. Okay, that had been so sudden and funny, not even him could hold back a laugh.

He suddenly pulled you up and kissed you, leaving the two boys that were watching you in a complete state of shock. You caressed his cheek, and smiled in his sweet kiss. "I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure this wasn't implied in the dance step..." you whispered, smirking.

Abbacchio bit his lower lip, and smirked back. "Are you sure about this? Looks like our dancing was pretty... impressive." he gestured towards Narancia and Mista's shocked faces.

"I wouldn't mind dancing another time, would you, Leone?"

"No, I wouldn't surely mind."

[isitstraightvodka]

Strip

in which gwil doesn't like you and it's your mission to find out why.

pairing: gwilym lee x fem!reader

word count: 4.5k+

warnings: enemies to lovers, smut (the rough kind), oral (both m and f receiving), angst, swearing, alcohol use

a/n: hello my loves! i present to u what i have been working on for a while, it's filthy so read ahead w caution 😂😳 i really hope u enjoy it and please let me know if u do. any feedback, asks / rbs, would be much appreciated xx also gif credit is @mazzelloplots​ 💕

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ.·:*¨༺

You had no idea what you'd done for Gwil to hate your guts but it must be dead serious because he just about didn't give you any attention whenever you were in the same room. It was infuriating, as each day passed, you racked your brain to remember if you'd done or said anything for him to act like this around you but as always, nothing came to mind. All you got was a cold stare, or no eye contact at all, and at the very least, a few sentences but that was it. It made it even worse that both of you were friends with Ben, after all that's how you were introduced to each other, you figured he'd be a good guy as was evident the first time you met, a regular mutual friend greeting; first handshake, small smiles and twinkling new eyes but ever since then, everything had changed.

Every time you went out and saw Gwil, he either said nothing to you but "Hi." or he'd rush off somewhere else the moment you approached him. The cold shoulder did not do anything for your confidence, you were a friendly person and loved meeting new people but this was something else entirely, the confusion soon turned to tension and anger, ripping at your hair during lonely nights in your apartment, thinking why doesn't he like me? Then you went to Ben who just shrugged and said he'd warm up to you eventually, which you found incredibly difficult to believe, you weren't having it, it had been almost half a year and no progress, you'd had enough, you had to confront him.

Your opportunity arose only a week later, during a party at Joe's house.  it made your muscles tense up knowing you were going to see Gwil, and it wasn't fair of him to give you this sort of treatment without a shred of explanation. Everything was in full-swing when you arrived by your lonesome, but you didn't waste no longer than ten minutes making your move, so there you were, drink in hand, when you cornered him talking to Lucy. Walking head held high, you approached them, and Lucy smiled when she noticed you, you shared a kiss on the cheek before exchanging respective compliments on each other's looks, then your attention went to him.

"Hey, can I talk to you?"

Both he and Lucy looked at you before the blonde nudged him with her arm, giving him a cool stare, as if to say, "Go sort this out", which was true since you and her had talked about the situation too, and her response was "It's between you and him, so get in there girl and stand up for yourself", and right now, tonight, you were going to heed her advice.

Gwil took a deep breath and walked next to you as you made your way to the nearest room, where it was quiet enough to talk, but the walk there seemed to stretch on for hours instead of a matter of seconds. You could feel the anxiety flooding through your body when his arm brushed your shoulder, you could tell he wasn't looking at you, his fingers gripping his wine glass a little too tight. Some sort of emotion hung between the two of you, you couldn't put your finger on it but it was something strong, something deep, Great another thing for you to be confused about. What you didn't know is that Gwil felt it too. 

After what felt like an age, you entered the guest bedroom, all neat and empty, leaving the impression nobody had stayed in there for a long time. Gwil had his free hand tucked into the pocket of his dark jeans, standing by the door once he closed it, silencing the bustle of the party, but still didn't give you his attention. You took a deep breath and tapped your nail on the rim of your drink, allowing your heartbeat to decrease, opening the conversation very kindly.

"I believe there is something we have to discuss."

All he did was part his lips and take a swig of red wine, leaning back against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other. Not one word left his mouth, he didn't move an inch and it took a lot in you not to start raising your voice. Why does he not want to talk to you? What is up his ass? Fucking say something, you bastard! The tension in the room was too stifling for you to cope with so you spoke again, but harsher.

"Fuck, you should man up and talk to me like a decent bloke, I thought you would be."

And that's when he finally looked at you. Without even realising it, the suddenness of eye contact made shivers run down your spine, deep blue eyes staring into yours, brows furrowed in faint disgust.

"Hate to burst your bubble then, love."

More shivers, rippling throughout your bones so fast you were almost afraid he'd be able to notice you slightly trembling. His voice wasn't supposed to do that....but it did, from the way he said it, from the way you finally saw his eyes in clear view, how fucking hot he looked just standing there, how had you not noticed that before? Because his blind hatred of you clouded that fact. You shook the thoughts out of your head and stood your ground.

"I seriously have no clue why you been acting like this around me. I have been nothing but kind to you, I haven't said one bad word to you, I truly wanted us to be friends but you find an excuse to escape me every chance you get!"

Your cheeks flushed red once the words left your lips, your free hand scrunching up into a fist, nails digging into your palm. Gwil all but sighed and...was that a smirk you saw? No, just a trick of the lights. The point of his shoe tapped the carpet as he looked down at his half-empty glass, collecting his thoughts.

"Not a bad word? I heard you talking to Joe the other week, you called me a dickhead."

"I have every reason to, you barely talk to me. This is the most you've talked to me in weeks."

"If you have reasons, then I have them too."

"Fucking tell me then instead of practically ignoring me! It's childish."

"So I'm the child but you're the one yelling." He cocked an eyebrow, was that another smirk? He's got me so confused? Is that what he wants?

"How do you expect me to react? I haven't appreciated the cold shoulder, Gwilym."

"I don't appreciate you running your mouth."

"Could just tell me whatever reasons you have instead of this."

You and him went back forth, trying to fight each other but it didn't seem to do anything good, it only heightened the tension between you two but a specific kind of tension. One you knew now and one he managed to figured out seeing you in front of him, raising your voice. In this moment, he saw how attractive you were, more so than he already thought, your face heating up and your hair glowing from the muted lights, the dress hugging your body almost provocatively, silver diamonds hanging from your ears and cherry-coloured lips parted slightly between words. You were so sexy and the alcohol buzzing through him wasn't helping, but this was the reason for it all. He fancied you.

"Look, it's complicated." He sighed, resting his head back against the wall. You had to bite back a laugh, is he serious?

"No, it's not. Open your mouth and just tell me."

But it turns out he didn't need to open his mouth, at least not the way you expected him to. It happened swiftly, too fast for you to comprehend, all you really saw was his glass fall to the floor, wine staining the carpet, then he crossed the room over you within three strides, took your face in his hands and crushed his lips against yours.

Your eyes flew open in surprise at the sudden pressure of his kiss...his kiss? You could barely understand what was happening, he held onto you like he needed air to breathe, you could taste the wine on his tongue, it was intoxicating, it felt...nice but was the wine nice or the aggression of his mouth? Questions swirled your mind, it didn't help your emotions during this moment, you didn't realise your mouth had opened on its own which allowed him to slip his tongue in a little and close the gap between you again, the second kiss even harder and more passionate, the softest groan of relief and delight from him ringing in your ears. You almost let yourself fall under his spell before you caught yourself and made a muffled squeak, your hand finding his jacket and pushing him away from you, gasping for a breath.

"What the fuck, Gwil?"

Thoughts circled your head, words bouncing off the walls, your hand brushing over your bottom lip, the gloss transferring to your skin as it had done on his lips, stained and shiny, you were surprised you were still holding your wine glass. He cocked an eyebrow at you as heat rose to his cheeks, he raised his hand almost as if he was apologising but you stopped him, holding up your own hand and shaking your head.

"What was that?"

"I...I kissed you."

"No shit Sherlock! Why? How is that supposed to explain anything?"

"I'm- I..." He couldn't seem to find the right words, he hesitated reaching his hand out further before deciding against it and pushing it back through his hair. You gulped, why is it so hot when he does that? You were so glad he couldn't read your mind right now, if he had heard what you just said, you sure would wish for the floor to open up and swallow you whole.

"You think a kiss is going to solve everything? I'm not some plastic doll for you to play around with however you please."

"I..I know, I just..."

"Just what? I thought you'd tell me with words, I though-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, I like you, okay?"

His pupils were blown wide as much as yours when he half-yelled the words and this time you were sure the glass was going to slip through your fingers but it still didn't, in fact you had a right mind to just down the whole thing after what he told you. You thought he didn't like you...he liked you? If you were confused before, then you were even more now, your hand fell to your side as you stared at him, eyes like glass, you couldn't even blink. Gwil's gaze had turned to the floor, pretending to be interested in the pale white carpet, his fingers moving to the back of his neck where sweat began to form. He waited for you to speak, the seconds ticked by painfully, it felt so long before you said anything.

"You...like me?" You gulped, trying to process his revelation. He chewed on his bottom lip and tucked both hands back into his pocket, nodding as his eyes flicked over to you.

"Yeah, I do, I like you. A lot."

His voice seemed fearful, anxious but with an underlying desperation, like that of a teenager admitting a big brush, it was rather cute in your eyes; first hot now cute? How can he be both? Stop it, stop questioning everything. You cursed yourself, fingers wrapped around your glass harder you thought it might crack. Instead of replying, you drained the wine, it was the only thing you could think of doing. Gwil watched as your throat moved, as you swallowed, he shuddered and prayed he wasn't showing through his pants, now wasn't the best time, especially with how you reacted. You sighed as the last drop fell into your mouth and rushed through your veins, you finally let the glass fall from your grasp and land with a small thud on the carpet. Your fingers came together in front of you, interlacing as you twiddled your thumbs, eyelids fluttering as you collected your thoughts, one deep breath and you looked at him.

"I don't understand. You like me, but you have been acting like you hate me, why do that?"

Gwil didn't answer right away, he fidgeted, hands still in his pockets, his vision now turning to eye the golden lamp on the bedside table. In this light, you could see the sparkle in his eyes, the deepest blue, like a calm ocean, like a pair of warm sapphires, you found yourself not looking away. 

"I didn't mean to be that way, I was just afraid." He said, still not looking at you.

"Why afraid?"

"Of rejection. Of you already being taken. I didn't want to admit anything if I had no chance with you." He confessed, raising one hand out of his pocket to massage his neck, your eyes locked to his fingers, wondering what they'd feel like around your ne- Cut it out! You banished your dirty thought and continued the talk.

"The worst I could say is no, and I'd mean it without any offense. And I'm not taken, I think you'd know if I was."

"That's the thing, I thought you were!"

"How did you come to that conclusion?" You peered at him. He sighed and scratched his beard, stubble littering his cheeks and chin, and right then, another X-rated thought entered your brain, You wonder what that would feel like between your legs...will it tickle? Itch? Arouse you? You think you wanted to know.

"Because you and Ben, and I...didn't want to get in the way"

You and Ben? You gave him a perplexed look as you tried to work out what your friend had got to do with any of this. Ben was really a great guy, you enjoyed his company, years of friendship had blossomed between him and you, and you loved being able to see him when he wasn't busy with his star-studded career, but there wasn't anything there to insinuate something more was happening between you two. 

Then it hit you.

"You thought that Ben...and me...that we...? Oh god no we're just friends!"

You bit back a giggle. Ben was easy on the eyes, anyone could see that, even Joe said it, multiple times, many conversation he'd told you, "That fucker's stupidly gorgeous isn't he?" but he was not your type. He was more like a brother to you than anything else. Sure there was the occasional kiss on the cheek, hugs a little longer than usual, his arm around your waist or ruffling your hair when you told a stupid joke, but friends did that, they could do that without having feelings for each other. Gwil almost lost his balance after what you said, Just friends...Just friends...

"Are you sure? I mean he's the pretty boy."

"Okay he's pretty but he is like family to me, I wouldn't hit that even if I was piss drunk." 

Your mouth curled at the corners, as did his and both of you shared  a small laugh. Your eyes fell upon the empty wine glass on the floor, teeth tugging at your lower lip; you could see Gwil's body shift a little closer, one foot in front of the other, until he was standing before you, chests almost touching. His fingers stroked your jaw, moving underneath your chin to bring your gaze up to his face. He looked...intense but still had a softness behind his eyes, something sweet and hesitant but at the same time, you could feel he wanted to continue the kiss he gave only minutes ago.

"So...no Ben?"

You rested your hand on his wrist, giving him a smile as your eyes went from his to his lips, mouth watering at the memory of them on yours.

"No Ben."

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ.·:*¨༺

"Gwil..."

His name was like chocolate on your tongue, as his tongue worked over and against your slick folds. One hand in his hair and the other curled behind your head, back arching with every hum he made against you, his mouth was insane, you hadn't felt such pleasure in god knows how long; he really knew what he was doing.  And he seemed to enjoy it as much as you did, smiling as he pressed kisses to your swollen clit, groaning with each flick and lick, with each tug you made on his hair, and that mixed with the feeling of his stubble rubbing your inner thighs and right above your mound as he angled his lips in the most delightful of ways. 

You were getting closer, you could almost taste it, feel it....but he stopped and raised his face from between your legs, his arms still wrapped around your flushed thighs. His mouth was wet, his hair in disarray and his eyes dilated; he looked fucking hot, but right now, you wanted to scream at him for stopping it right when you were about to finish. He could see you were almost angry at how suddenly he pulled away from your heat, he stroked the curve of your left breast as he began to lay down next to you, his free hand resting over his mouth.

"Come sit here."

It took you a few seconds to realise what he meant, your breath got caught in your throat, slowly blinking at him in surprise.

"Are you...are you sure?"

"Yes, you're so beautiful, I'd love nothing more than for you to ride my tongue."

You certainly did not expect something so foul to come out of his mouth but fuck you loved it. A smile grew on your face as you sat up, as he brought his hands to your hips just as you were about to face the headboard, he pushed you in the other direction a tad.

"Sit the other way, baby."

Your cheeks became hot and you were almost embarrassed at how flustered a simple petname made you. You gasped as you got into position, his nose right there against you and in your line of eyesight was his sweaty body, his happy trail disappearing into his jeans, and through those, a bulge was unmistakable.

You'd made him hard and you hadn't done anything but kiss him, you giggled at the reality of it, the embarrassment fading into smugness. Gwil moved his hands over your thighs, giving one of them a slap and you yelped in shock.

"What are you laughing about, huh?"

You bit your lip as you answered.

"You're hard."

"O'course I fucking am. Eating you out did that to me, hell you make me hard just by looking at me." He murmured on you, and before you could say anything, his tongue was back on you, licking back and forth, covering the length of your heat, he didn't leave one spot untouched by his tongue. Moans flew out of your mouth, sweat beading on your skin as he switched between his lips and his tongue, going so far as to telling you to bounce, and doing that was one hell of an experience. You leaned forward and raised your hips so you could move more, his tongue stuck out flat so you could feel it inside you, warming you up, stretching you out, he really cared about making you feel good and giving you the best feeling before you reached your high.

Your hands latched onto the belt around his jeans, curled over his body, grinding over his mouth, his facial hair once again giving you that cherry on top, his growls of hunger and delight pushing you over the edge. One palm slapped your ass cheeks, his name flowing from your lips again.

"Cum for me, cum on my face, sweet girl."

And you did just that, body shaking as you rode out your orgasm on his face, his lips never detaching from your clit, intending to make you have the most explosive high, and it sure felt like that. Your toes and fingers were on fire, your heart shot through the roof and you had trouble catching your breath as he lapped you up, "Mm you taste so good", another slap to your ass, chuckling against your heat, nose bumping on your clit, making you whimper a little given how sensitive you were. You slowly sat up and ran a hand through your damp hair, laughing through deep breathes.

"Fuck, you're amazing at that."

"Thought I wouldn't be?" You could feel his smirk beneath you.

"No no, just...wow."

Gwil smirked wider and gave your clit one last kiss, your eyes back on the even-harder bulge in his jeans. He'd just made you feel incredible. You wanted to do the same to him. So instead of moving from your position, you simply leaned down over his toned chest and started unbuckling his belt.

"Oh I see someone's hungry too." He laughed, hands resting on your red ass. Something came over you, the sexual side of you suddenly arose and within seconds, his belt was off and you were pulling his jeans down. He gave you some help by lifting his hips, you pushed them down to his knees and now you could see how hard he actually was, almost bursting to be released from the prison of his boxers. You didn't want to keep him waiting, you giggled and tucked your fingers into them, and pushed them down to join his jeans, more giggles spilling out when you got the first proper look at his cock.

The tip was pink, precum already forming, he was thick, very girthy, bigger than you thought but still you weren't that surprised. You slipped your fingers around him and gripped him and he hissed, his breath hot on your cunt. You smiled to yourself and pumped him a few times, relishing how warm and hard he was in your hand, the pads of your fingers rubbing over the veins, satisfied with your work, you puckered your lips and wrapped them around the head of his cock, and the noise he made was so fucking sexy, the sweetest groan and the hottest whine.

"Holy shit..."

You concentrated on where you sucked and moved your mouth, your hand tight around the base of his shaft. From previous experiences, you knew lubricant of any kind worked a treat, so you took a moment to pull your lips off and spit over the head, gently rubbing wetness all over his length; that got him considering the deep moans he was making right against your clit. Feeling his mouth so close to you while you sucked him off made you powerful, like you had him in your corner, it was your turn to give him pleasure and in his hand, he hadn't felt this good in a long time. 

When his eyes were open, they were on your cunt, fucking you with his vision, his hands moving from your ass to your hips to your upper thighs, gripping your skin as his own hips started to move with your mouth and before long, Gwil was fucking your mouth. You choked and whimpered around his cock, delicious sounds from his perspective, leaving marks on your ass from how hard he was holding you.

"Your mouth's so warm and tight fuck baby I-"

His words encouraged you to do more, fingers away from his cock and moving to his balls, you grabbed one and he let out a cry of delight, jerking his hips up faster until your eyes started to water; it burned but it was a good burn, making Gwil feel this way made you feel good, pleasing him made you feel good. As you squeezed his balls, his eyes rolled to the back of his head, neck craned all the way back over the pillow, his toes curling over the end of the bed. Your own thighs started to shake and your throat tightened around him, and he lost his hand.

"Just like that, yeah."

And with your mouth around him and your fingers gripping his balls, he finished, quicker than you thought; it wasn't even three minutes and you tasted hot thickness, his cum, him. You gagged a little as you removed your lips softly like sucking a lollipop, strings of your saliva dripping from his cock. You gasped and swallowed; you never spat out, it was a rule you gave yourself, what a waste it would be to spit, especially after sucking Gwil off, and speaking of him, his breath was heavy and fast, chest puffing in and out as he came down from his high, eyes glittering and a cheesy grin on his face.

"You're amazing at that."

All you could do was giggle and say, "I know."

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ.·:*¨༺

He was buried deep inside your walls, stretching out every inch and corner of you, the strokes of his cock were heavenly, easily hitting your g-spot over and over again. Your legs were wrapped high around his waist, ankles crossed over, nails digging into his back and dragging down his spine, one of his hands gripping the headboard and the other on your thigh, keeping you in place as he fucked you raw.

"Gwil, Gwil...please.." 

"Please what? What do you want?" He grunted between thrusts. Tears burned your lids as your hips smashed with his, lips inches away from his, his warm breath setting your face alight.

"Please...I want to cum, I want us to cum together..."

"Oh fuck.."

The way he moved got harder, faster, more aggressive to the point where your legs were turning into jelly and all you could feel was his stiff cock, you could not even get a proper sentence out anymore, if you did, it was laced with high whines. As his body meshed with your own, your eyes glanced at his arm, where his hand held onto the headboard with so much force you wondered why it hadn't broken. You felt yourself melt into the bed at the sight of his bicep, skin wrapped thin around the muscles, a sheen of sweat coating over his arm, more sweat on his forehead and at the back of his neck, face dipping close to your jaw, the air humid between the two of you.

"I'm gonna cum, shit- but I'm not wear-"

"I'm..on the p-p-pill, cum in me, Gwil." You gripped at him, pulling his chest closer, clenching your cunt around him, desperate for him to finish. The "fucking hell" told you he was only seconds away and sure enough, you felt it, you felt his orgasm, how his cock pulsated inside you, even better inside you than in your mouth and you followed barely a minute after when he was still riding out his high, your back off the bed and your legs trembling around him, harsh scratches left deep in his back because of you. 

Gwil collapsed on top of you, your fingers finding their way into his sweaty hair, as he slowly pulled out of you, the remnants of what you'd just did together dripping down your thigh, something he found extremely attractive. He attached his lips to yours in a passionate sweet kiss, as if you two hadn't just fucked each other's brains out, smiling as he broke the kiss and pressed another to your nose.

"Didn't think this would happen coming here tonight." He guffawed, rolling off you to get comfortable beside you. Like second nature, you curled up into him, your arm draped over his chest and his over your shoulders, sheets askew down to his waist as well as yours; to the both of you, cuddling after sex was as special as the act of sex itself.

"Neither did I...but I like that it happened." You smiled up at him. His fingers stroked your hair, his lips against the top of your head.

"Yeah? Me too."

You and Gwil stayed there, having cuddle time and striking up a conversation about what this meant for your relationship; you liked him and he liked you but for right now, it was agreed upon that the sex was great and that's what it would be, unless deeper feelings crept in. Time was lost, you felt safe with him, his hand in your hair as you traced patterns on his skin, but as much as you loved having this, you knew you couldn't stay here all night.

"We should get back. Everyone will be wondering where we are." You sat up and gathered the sheets up to your chest, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Gwil joined you and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're right about that, let's go, love." He said, and just as he was about to get out of the bed, there was a knock at the door followed by a very familiar American accent.

"I don't know what's happening in there but if you two are done defiling MY guest bedroom, you'd better come out and watch Ben do Jell-O shots off me." 

You burst out laughing and your head fell into Gwil's neck at Joe's statement, he chuckled along with you and sighed deeply, eyebrows raised; he didn't want to leave this room either, not with having you in the bed, gloriously naked and beautiful. But still, the two of you had to rejoin the party. He kissed your temple and rubbed your shoulder as giggles slipped through your lips, he couldn't help but smile even wider at the sound of your laughter.

"Well well we can't miss that, can we?"

taglist: @rhapsodyrecs​ / @bens-jawline​ / @itsametaphorgwil​ / @queen-paladin​ / @joeneslee​ / @almightygwil​ / @deacyblues​ / @zyanmaik​ / @hermajestyborhap​ / @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​ / @coincidence-ithinknots-blog​ / @grigorlee​ / @captvinswaan​ / @taliaphobia​ / @gwil-lee​ / @hannafuckingsucks​ / @benders-diamond-earring​ / @supersonicfreddie​

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 63: Burdens

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Sixty-Three: Burdens.

Note: This chapter felt so good to write, omg! The feels! I just-

(-~-)

The soft glow of the refrigerator was the only light that he bothered to turn on in the dark kitchen. His eyesight was more than sufficient to be able to find a glass of water at this time of the morning. The sun would be up in about an hour and a half, and more than likely so would the rest of his family. And yet despite having slept for a few hours, he couldn't bring himself to really agree on whether or not he should stay up or go back to sleep.

It was indecisive times like these that made him wonder where his mind went during the wee hours of the morning. There was so much going on right now, and although he did have a lot going on in the deeper recesses of his mind, he couldn't say that it particularly troubled him. Nero knew deep down that they would get him out of the situation. V was in good hands. And yet there was something about the situation that just gave him pause.

Perhaps it was simply natural for him to worry about his older brother. V had a lot of things going on in his life, and a good majority of them weren't good. Even though he knew that they had the power to solve this issue, he still had to wonder how it would affect him in the long term. He couldn't imagine that it was good for him psychologically to have to deal with all of this, but he was a strong person, after all. In their own way, everyone in their family was. They just processed their issues differently. But he couldn't help but think that V was a standout example of this. 

But even the strongest people have their moments of weakness, and there was only so much that a person could take. His quiet, mild-mannered sibling had been through far too much in such a short lifetime, and he couldn't imagine that any of that was good for him in the long term. But what could he do against such powerful enemies that would be meaningful on its own? He had the power to fight them, but that didn't solve the lasting problems that this could cause his older sibling. He needed to do something more personal for that. Perhaps even more meaningful.

"The only thing I can do is be there for you." The thought just sort of came to him as he poured his drink, closing the fridge after he put the water picture back into it. It was quite genuinely the only thing that he could do besides try to physically protect him. He didn't think that he was helpless. Far from it. But maybe it was best to just let him know that he was there? He had the feeling that given the rapport they developed he would tell him if he needed them, but every one of their family had a habit of shutting off their emotions at times and cutting off those who might best serve them in moments of need, so maybe it was best that he say something to him the next time they spoke.

As if on cue, the downstairs phone rang in the next room over, cutting a somewhat noisy swath to the otherwise quiet house. Nero practically leaped to grab it off the receiver, unwilling to allow it to wake the children up. He just didn't want to deal with that right now. And Kyrie, for that matter. She was sleeping so soundly upstairs. He didn't want to disturb her. She would be up soon anyway.

"Hello?" He held the receiver up to his ear, admittedly unsure as to who could be calling it this hour, but willing to bet that it was probably important. Nobody really had his number. The van had a different phone number than the rest of the house, so if it was somebody calling about business, then that phone would be ringing. Only friends and family at this one.

For a moment, it was a silent pause as nothing more than breathing could be heard on the other end of the receiver. He became increasingly uncomfortable, wondering for a moment if this was actually some sort of prank call. He considered hanging up the phone, but just as he was about to, a faint voice came from the other end of the receiver.

"Nero… ?" His breath was slightly shaky, holding an air of uncertainty to it as if he were still contemplating whether or not he should be making this call or if he had the right number in the first place. It was somewhat unlike him, and that immediately stood out to Nero. Was something wrong?

The youngest descendant of the Dark Knight Sparda did a physical double-take, though no one besides him could see it. He knew that voice anywhere. It was V. But then, what was he doing calling it this hour? From what he's seen, he'd normally be asleep by now. What in the world was going on?

"V? Shit, at first I didn't recognize your voice. Something wrong? Is everything okay?" He wasn't afraid to allow the concern in his voice to be known. He knew that V more than possibly anybody else in his family understood the concept of emotional depth. And just by the slightly troubled tone of his voice when he'd spoken his name, he knew that something was wrong. He didn't need to say it.

Another pause, this one somehow even longer than the first. Was he actually having to think about whether or not he was okay? That in of itself concerned him. He didn't want to feel like he was rushing him in any way, but he felt the need to press the question again. "What's wrong? And don't tell me “nothing”, because I know something is. Just tell me what it is."

Exhaling from the other end of the line slowly, V cleared his throat slightly. He seems slightly shaken up, something that he had never really associated with V before now. He was always so calm and well put together. Whatever had happened must have really gotten to him for him to be this off. That was enough to bring him great concern by itself.

"I'm fine. Physically. It's just that something did happen, and Sirrus isn't. I think he will be, but for an hour or two, it was very bad. I was just told that they don't expect him to awaken until at least tomorrow, but he could awaken sooner. At least I think so. I don't… " He drilled off for a moment, another heavy sigh coming for him, this one slightly shakier than before. It was hard to tell from this side of the phone, but at that moment Nero knew that he was not in a good place emotionally. He might have been physically unharmed, but he had seemingly been shaken by the events that he had witnessed. Or perhaps it was more likely that everything was getting to him all at once. To say that things have been rough since his return would be a massive understatement. You can only compress that much stress for so long. "I cannot say why I called If I'm speaking honestly. I guess I just needed to hear the voice of someone who I knew would understand, even if I didn't."

Nero nodded. He knew exactly what he needed to do. "Where are you at, V?"

A slightly surprised intake of air was the only thing that he could hear for a moment until he answered. "The Ludwig estate. They were the closest thing to a hospital I could call."

He nodded to himself, reaching over to grab his coat off of the hook next to the door. He'd have to tell Kyrie about this before he left. "I'll be over in a few minutes. Just stay there, okay?"

Amusingly enough, he could practically feel the gears in V's head-turning as he tried to comprehend how he was going to get from Fortuna to the mainland that quickly. But just as he seemed to register the fact that Nero could fly, Nero was in the process of putting on his boots. He didn't need to change clothes. It wasn't like he really wore pajamas anyway. He didn't think it was going to stand out to anyone if he showed up in gray sweatpants with a black t-shirt on. And if it did, he honestly didn't care.

But much to his surprise, instead of refuting the need for him to come or attempting to talk him down from it, V simply took a few deep breaths before answering. What point was there in trying to talk him out of it? He knew from personal experience that it wouldn't work.

"Okay, Nero."

A soft smirk played its way across Nero's face as he unlocked the front door before turning his attention towards the steps. Something had caught his attention. "I'll see you in a few minutes, then." And then he hung up the phone, admittedly almost hesitantly. He wanted to ask him more questions, but he would do it in person. He didn't think that he was the best person when it came to understanding the feelings and thoughts of others, but one thing he thought that he did understand was V, and if the time that he had reached out to him in his greatest moment of need in the Qliphoth was anything to go by, then he could be trusted to attempt to help his brother when the time came. Even if V didn't realize that that was what he wanted, Nero was, and he wasn't going to let him down.

Just then, a small head poked around the corner, long auburn hair trailing down from it. He was admittedly slightly startled to see Kyrie up, but a glance at the clock was enough to tell him that he shouldn't be too surprised. She was an extraordinary early bird, so seeing her up to make coffee or tea this early wasn't unheard of. It was just that the overcast weather and the closed curtains made it difficult to tell that dawn was actually rolling around. All the more reason for him to get going before people could easily see what he planned to do.

"Nero, is everything okay?" She stepped forward, her robe wrapped around her and another blanket around that. It was a chilly morning, and the heat wasn't exactly on. Something that he was sure she'd remedy as soon as he left. He'd probably been keeping her warm when he'd been up there. The thought made him smile.

With a nod, he stepped forward and squeezed her into a small hug, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He realized he'd made a habit recently of slipping out in the night, but after he'd gone to Redgrave City with V to go fight Urizen without telling her where he's gone, he had made a quiet promise to himself to never do that again. He could only imagine to this day how worried she'd been when she'd opened the bedroom door and he'd been gone without a trace, especially since he hadn't been awake since the time that he'd lost his arm. She'd probably been worried sick, but ever hopeful as she always was. A talent he himself had never managed to master. He liked to think of it as Kyrie's own special sort of superpower.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about. I just got to go talk to V. He called and he seemed kinda down. I'm going to go check on him."

She smiled softly, nodding. That was something that she wholeheartedly understood and supported. "Okay, then. Be safe. Both of you. And let me know how it goes when you get the chance. Wish him well for me."

Nero nodded, turning towards the door to head out. He was so glad that he had someone who understood without needing to ask. Maybe that was why V had called him? "Sure thing, Kyrie. Have Nico call me if you need somethin'."

And with that, he headed out of the door and towards the Ludwig estate, entirely set upon finding out what had led to his brother calling him so early in the morning. Or even being up this early in the first place, for that matter. If Sirrus was injured, then whatever they have gone up against had probably been pretty bad. After all, he'd seen that guy kill a flaming Taurus demon single-handedly in about two strikes from a sword that wasn't even a devil arm. He wasn't exactly a pushover, and neither was V, for that matter. He needed to find out what was going on. And he wanted to do that sooner rather than later.

(-~-)

V had stood there staring at the phone quietly for several minutes before putting the phone back on the receiver, just listening to the dial tone. He wasn't sure what he thought that would accomplish, but perhaps a bit of mindlessness for a moment was what he needed. He wasn't sure how to explain why what had happened had such a profound effect on him, but it did. Well, he knew, but he didn't know how to put it into words.

Perhaps it was because before all of this he had never been accustomed to such violence or supernatural activity. He'd simply thought himself crazy, having been told so many times that what he could see was not real. And now that he knew that it was, there were still parts of him that were readjusting to that reality. This had been the first time in a long time that he almost witnessed the demise of someone he considered a friend, and that was going to sit with him for at least a few days. That was a guarantee. 

He knew he needed to shake that off for the sake of himself in regards to continuing the effect of the curse he was under, but if he did not allow himself to feel the feelings that he felt, then they would consume him. He knew that very well. The trouble was where to draw the line between allowing the emotions to make themselves known, and lingering in them. He didn't want to wallow in his growing guilt.

When he finally headed back to the room where Sirrus was resting, he stuck his head in for a moment to see if he was awake. One of the other Ludwig girls was in there with him, one that he did not recognize. She seemed to be tending to his injuries. Flora and Hydrangea were there now, coming to check on him. It hadn't occurred to him until then to wonder what relationship was to the rest of them. Perhaps a cousin, or even a sister? He wasn't going to ask now, but it was curious, to say the least. She seemed worried about him and close enough to him to indicate that they might be related, but it was genuinely hard to say from an outsider's perspective. They could have just been really good friends for all he knew.

Realizing that he would probably be interrupting a moment that they would be remiss to not take in the event of something tragic, he decided to just close the door back and take a walk. Griffon and Shadow we're already in the room as it was. They would let him know if something was wrong. He knew that other people cared about Sirrus as well, and he needed to allow them the time to grapple with what had happened to him. That was the only right thing he could do in this situation, especially since he had come to harm protecting him in the first place. 

Perhaps the fresh air in the garden would do him some good. He headed down the corridor and out the back door, not at all surprised to find that the back door was unlocked at this hour. Only a colossal fool would attempt to breach these walls, not that they were particularly high. In fact, they were quite standard height if not for the ornate wrought iron on top of them. It wouldn't be difficult to climb them at all, but it would be more than a little bit foolish. It was almost as if they were inviting a challenge to those unintelligent enough to take it, but he was certain that no one that entered these walls uninvited would leave them unscathed. This is one of the few places he felt totally safe.

V made his way over to a bench, considering sitting on it for a moment, but then instead of opting to just sit down in front of the pond and enjoy the smell of the water. They kept it very clean, something that had to be a challenge given the size of it, but something he appreciated. Few things were viler than dirty pond water. And he was willing to bet that birds were probably in it during the day. He liked the sound of birds. Maybe he should have moved to the woods after all? No, that hadn't gone well the first time. It seemed that a quiet life of isolation wasn't something that he could be afforded. What a pity. There had been something appealing about the quiet isolation of the cold wilderness.

But as he lingered on that fact, a sort of thundering boom could be heard slightly off in the distance. He turned his attention back to the water, sensing a shift in the atmosphere around him. That had been rather quick. He hoped with everything in him that he hadn't caused too much alarm. It hadn't occurred to him until then, but Nero might have thought that something more was going on. He hoped he hadn't made him worry. He'd indirectly caused enough trouble tonight… 

"I'm genuinely surprised that you didn't just land in the courtyard." He said almost too quietly as he heard the door open behind him. He knew that his brother could hear him, even at his decreased volume. It was one of the few benefits of what they were. The sound of the crunching gravel beneath his feet as he approached was all the confirmation he needed to know that Nero had heard him loud and clear.

"Yeah, I actually thought about doing that, but then I thought about the fact that the girls here would probably think I was attacking the place and try to kill me, so… no. Not going to happen."

A soft smile spread across his face in spite of everything, leading to something akin to a chuckle to escape his lips. His younger brother's relentless wit was something that he truly did like about him. He might do foolish things at times, but that didn't mean that V didn't respect the special kind of innate humor that his younger sibling possessed. They were different forms of humor just as they were different forms of intellect, and the fact that they seem to possess different ends of that same spectrum didn't make either of them less valid.

"I'm sorry that I interrupted your rest. You shouldn't have come so early on my behalf." He admittedly did feel guilty about that. He himself was tired, so he couldn't imagine how Nero felt after a day of taking care of the kids and coming to the meeting as early as he had. He'd had time to sit and think afterward, no other personal obligations to attend to. But Nero? He had three kids and a lovely significant other. That was a lot to deal with even before you factored in Nico and her insatiable appetite for chaos and food. The fact that he had taken the time to come and see what was going on with him and then head home to see to the needs of everyone else just showed the breadth of his kindness. 

He hoped that was something his brother would never lose. His compassion was something truly special, so genuine and so pure and its intent. 

Despite everything that Nero had been through, he had never lost that. Everyone wavered at times, but he always came back to being the person he truly was, and that person was truly something to admire. He wondered if his younger brother knew that.

"No, I definitely should have. Cuz that's what I'm going to do when you need me. And you can't tell me that you don't." Nero sat down on the ground next to V, looking him slightly up and down as if to assess what was wrong with him. It occurred to V at that moment that he was still wearing some of the bandages from being patched up, so he probably looked a little bit worse for wear. The visible bruises and the slightly busted lip weren’t doing him any favors, either. He hoped that they would be gone by morning like they normally were. He was already going to have to explain the situation to the rest of his family, but the last thing he needed was for his father to actually see him in this state. The last time something like that had happened, he'd disappeared for 2 weeks!

Looking over at Nero, he attempted to figure out what he could say to something that was so genuinely touching. He hadn't expected to hear Nero say that, and the genuine look of surprise on his face said everything that it needed to. Nero gave him an almost hurt look, the genuine concern and pain for his suffering in his eyes, something that he had seen in smaller measures before, but could really see the depth of now. He wasn't sure why, but at that moment, he wavered. There was just something so necessary about this.

Truthfully, he hadn't realized the state he was in until Nero had put his hand on his shoulder and leaned over to look him in the face. He hadn't moved, not sure what doing so would do for him. His brain was slightly foggy. He was probably just slightly overwhelmed. But that was the moment when he became acutely aware of the small stream of water that had run down from the corner of his eye, and as soon as he realized this a mixture of confusion and overwhelmed relief had washed over him. It was funny to him to think that Nero had literally seen him with no clothes on once, but that this might be the most compromising thing he’d ever done in front of him. And this hadn't even been the first time tonight that it had happened. 

Was he okay?

No, he absolutely wasn't. And he wasn't ashamed to admit that, but he just didn't know how to.

"Okay, what's going on? What's got you so upset? And I don't need a short answer. Or for it to make sense. Just start talking. I'll figure it out."

V blinked, attempting to clear his eyes lightly before simply giving in and wiping his face. He let out a shuddery sigh, looking down at the pond but not seeing himself. "I don't want what happened to Sirrus to happen to any of you. Not for me. Ever."

Nero was taken aback by the honesty of that statement, and although he didn't understand the entirety of the thought process that had led him to making that statement, he understood the pain in it. He knew exactly what that felt like. 

"... I know what you mean, V. Somebody important to me lost their life protecting me, and I don't think I've ever been the same since. He was like a brother to me, you know?" He trailed off, efforting his gaze as he thought of what Credo had done for him that day. He thought of how the loss of her brother had broken Kyrie's heart. And he thought of the lasting legacy of that sacrifice and what it meant to him. "But as much as that hurt, I learned something that day but I'm going to carry with me the rest of my life."

V looked over at him, the pain in his expression evident, but the willingness to listen was still present. He'd never seen Nero look so sad before, and that alone was enough to tell him that what he meant to say to him was genuine. He would hear him out "I'm sorry that you... What did you learn that day?"

"That as much as it hurts, sometimes we just have to let people make their own decisions. We don't have to agree with them. We don't even have to like it. We can hate it, but we can't stop them from doing what they think is right. Because if we do, we're taking the same thing from them that they want to give to us. Freedom." He shook his head, really thinking back to that day again. it rarely left his mind. "As much as I didn't want Credo to sacrifice his life to save me, I am thankful that I'm still here. I would never ask him to do that for me, but he did it without a second thought because he thought that my life and Kyrie's life were that important to him, and that there was something he could do to save it. The only thing I wish I could do is thank him for what he did that day. I think that's what eats away at me. The last thing I did was strike out in anger against him over a misunderstanding instead of getting to say what I really thought. How much I appreciated him. Sometimes I wonder if it's the fear of losing people that scares us, or the fear of losing them without that person knowing what they mean to you that scares us more. I think what I’m saying is you just have to trust us, V."

Feeling good in those words for a minute, taking them in. The sentiment made sense to him, of that much he couldn't deny. And the genuine pain in Nero's voice as he recognized that reality was something that he knew would stay with him. He could see how it weighed on him. It was the truth, as far as he could tell. Everyone would die eventually, but it was the way you died and the life you lived that mattered. And as was the nature of the truth, it cut deep and it's done, but he understood the necessity of the words that his younger sibling had spoken to him.

"Then live. I think he knew. I don't see how he couldn't. I don't think he died to bury you in the guilt you now feel, Nero. Don't labor under the guilt decision you took out part in, revel in the memory of the kindness they showed you."

Nero didn't answer, but he nodded slowly, indicating that he agreed. There wasn't much he could say about it. That was what he knew deep down he should feel, but it was just hard to. He felt that he should live his life and do right by what Credo had done for him to honor his memory, but that didn't stop him from missing him. Maybe it was time that he embraced that.

He placed his hand on Nero's shoulder, suddenly more concerned with the obvious pain that he was going through than anything else. They both recognized that it wasn't a perfect solution, but it was one that they could agree on for the time being. Things rarely were perfect. There wasn't much more he could do right now. But he was willing to accept that the people who loved him just wanted to see him safe, and he was willing to do everything in his power to keep them safe, too. The feeling was mutual. And they were safest when they put their heads together and worked as a cohesive unit.

"Then I will strive to do the same. You're right. I will respect your wish to protect me… and in return, I trust that you will respect my wish to do the same for you." The pain that he'd felt moments ago at what had happened suddenly shifted, hardening into a resolve that he hadn't previously realized he'd had. He'd found his motivation to fight. He had something to protect now, and he wouldn't see any harm come to those that he loved due to his inaction. Absolutely not. "I won't let any of you fight this battle for me. It's time that we ended this. Side by side."

Nero nodded and stood up, holding his hand out to him in a silent offering of assistance. And this time, V humored him. "You're goddamn right. Let's do this."

(-~-)

Wow, this chapter really got me in the feels. Probably the most important 5k words I’ve written in a long time. I think it was important for them to mutually agree to do this together. They work best together when they are on the same page, you know? That's the difference between Nero and V and their uncle and father. Communication and recognition of their limits. They will offer help and ask for it (at least a good amount of the time) They understand and admit that they can't do something with that they need something to help them.

I hope to see you in the comments, and I'll see you on Wednesday!

[kadwrites]

"Dancing on broken glass"

Summary : the reader was always there for Tommy, even when he didn't know.

Warnings : none , other than my terrible writing , a very very bad summary and my grammar. I tried guys.

Word count : 1581 (oh dear god)

Author’s note : So I'm back with another Tommy fic , for some reason I keep wanting to write for him. Please tell me what you think of it your opinions mean the world to me. And if you find any mistakes please tell me. FYI I totally got the title form a website and it doesn't fit the story all that much but ignore that , it just sounded so good to me. Enjoy!

‘How can a person be this beautiful?’ She thinks while she sweeps the floor and trying not to get caught staring at him , again.

‘He becomes more beautiful with every passing day .’ She thinks again , she could stare at him for hours on end , she would if she only could.

He glances at her again, as if he heard her, for a second she thought she said it out loud , she freezes but then continues to sweep the floor , awkwardly.

She's been doing this for years , staring at him as if he was a piece of art. She's been there in that same place even before the war , back when he was a young man , then he came back broken and shattered and yet she was still there , looking at him as if he was the one putting the stars in the sky. Then , he met Grace and she witnessed it all , and when Grace was gone , she was still there . A long time ago they were friends, they were very close but as time went by , Tommy changed , then the war happened and little by little she was no longer someone he knew.

She doesn't know if he even remembers her name , she doesn't remember the last time she heard him call her name.

Y/n isn't a talkative person . She isn't the person to start conversation . She wonders if she ever had a chance with him , that if she tried to be like Grace, would he want her the same way?. No , that is what she keeps telling herself, no he wouldn't . Grace is different, yes she once was the ‘enemy’ but she loved Tommy , and he loved her , with every piece of him. She made him feel content and satisfied. Y/n was happy that he found peace and love , even if it wasn't with her. Until she was taken away from him , and he became once again a broken man.

Sighing she sets the broom aside , there are glasses to be cleaned and new bottles of liquor to be stored. She takes one more glance at him while he is sitting and looking at the bottom of his glass.

She sets on the ground in front of the large box and starts unpacking the bottles gently , trying not to break them . With a barely audible voice she is singing to herself so he wouldn't hear her , or so she thought.

“ I've heard you sing before, you have a lovely voice.” He said , still looking at his glass .

She looks at him , a little surprised that he talked to her and a little concerned for some reason.

“That is very kind of you , Sir” she hesitated. Then went back to her work wondering if he actually remembers her ever singing.

“You don’t like talking , do you?“

He said that as if he forget the fact that they were friends then he moved his glass indicating that he wants more whiskey.

She got up , pouring him a glass

“ I can say the same thing about you , Sir “

“You are right , I am not.” He smirked, showing his dimples slightly.

She nodded slightly and went again to unpack the bottles.

“Why?” He asked while lighting a cigarette.

“I do not understand, Sir. Why what?” She looks at him with a quizzical look on her face.

“Why are you still here y/n?. I hadn't spoken to you in god knows how long but here you are still, the same person that I've known, you haven't even changed a little while I became a whole new person.”

He is genuinely curious as in why she still looking at him with that same warm fondness in her eyes , as if he was a hero when in reality, he is far from it.

“I notice the little things y/n , even if you think that I won't. I noticed that you never serve anyone that sits in my spot even though I don't mind. I know that you stay here late because you want to make sure that I made it through the day. I know that you always keep a bottle of Irish whiskey away because it's my favorite.”

He looks at her so intensely as if he was staring at her soul.

She wipes her hands with her apron and looks at him , she was very calm , she knew that he will eventually catch on and realize what she is doing.

“Why are you here ? Why haven't left Birmingham ? You always told me that you wanted to.”

She looks at him , a little surprised that he remembers her.

“Why haven't you left me?”

He said with a voice filled with emotions that he never thought he would experience once again.

“And where would I go , Sir? This is my home"

She looked around the garrison fondly as if it was a beautiful castle not a place filled with crazy drunk people and smells like a barn.

“Stop calling me sir” He closes his eyes , annoyed with her calling that constantly.

“You are no longer my Tommy , I cannot call you that anymore. ” She said while pouring him another glass . She doesn't even know why would she say such a thing.

“I'm always your Tommy. “ He said , with sadness filling his eyes. Like a sad little puppy.

She doesn't know if he means it , or if he is simply saying that for a one night stand . “No , you are not . Thomas , you are a different man , not a bad one even if you think you are . You are just different , I'm not blaming you , of course , nobody comes back from the war unfazed. I mean change is inevitable “ She rambles without noticing.

“You are rambling”

He smiles , for once . A warm , genuine smile.

“Besides , its not like you put any effort to actually talk to me Thomas. That I do you blame for." She goes back to storing the bottles.

“I am your Tommy”.

Now he was kneeling in front of her.

“No you are not”

She is till not looking at him.

“Well , I am what is left of him.” He sighs and grabs her face in her hands. Her eyes are glassy and looking at him with so much love , he wonders how can she look at him after all the things the he's done. After all the pain that he caused .

“You stopped caring , Thomas. And that is fine , I cannot force you to remember me or talk to me but I am not like you . I could not simply forget you even if I wanted to , and I did , believe me I tried. I even tried running away but I couldn't. I couldn't leave you.” Now tears are streaming down her cheeks.

“ You don't need to forget me . I am here , and I'm not going anywhere” He is wiping the tears off .

“For some reason , I doubt it.” She confesses , she is hurt , how can she not be? They were friends for so long and then he gets sent to a war with her waiting everyday for his return. And when he finally returns , he acts as if she never existed. She is in pain , and he knows it.

“ I am so sorry.” He apologizes , the guilt is eating him up now.

She simply nods , not trusting her own voice.

“Let's start again , please” He presses his forehead against hers.

“I know that it's a lot to ask but I feel like I am missing something and when I look at you...” He stops , closes his eyes and then continues

"I feel like that part of me is there.” He says to her.

“Took you long enough.” He chuckled but then she hugs him with all the strength that she could muster which resulted in both of them laying on the floor.

Tommys back was killing him but for the sake of his own pride he didn't say anything .

She looks at him , and smiles then she laughs and he laughs with her even though there is no reason for him to laugh other than the fact that the sound of her laugh fills him up with joy.

“Wow , you are actually heavy for someone your size” He jokes but she punches him in the stomach.

“And I throw a pretty painful punch for someone my size”

“Careful, I have a thing for powerful tiny things”

“Well then , its your lucky day.”

She looks at him there , laying on the floor not caring that his ridiculously expensive coat is not only wrinkled but probably is very dirty because he is too busy holding his stomach and laughing.

“This is why I stayed” She blurts. He stops laughing but his smile is still there.

“Why?”

“My home is wherever you are , Thomas.”

“I thought we passed the ‘Thomas’ phase” He groans.

“Oh no , we are still very much stuck in that phase.”

[linphd]

shoto x flirty!reader | blushing

shoto todoroki x reader

female reader

Shoto has a crush on (Y/N), but he keeps getting shy because she's very flirty.

no warning

          ''Come on dude. You have a crush on her !'' Kaminari said. It was a boys' night in the common room, and they had decided to make Todoroki aware of his crush on one of their classmates, (Y/N). She was always flirting with him, and even if he didn't seem like the kind of boy who does it, Todoroki couldn't help but blush and feeling awkward whenever she was doing it.

          At the beginning, he didn't have a crush on her, despise the girl already being opened about hers on him. But throughout time, he got more and more used to it, and eventually started to like her back. However, she didn't want to confess ! She was only teasing him to death, and the girls couldn't understand why she just couldn't ask the prettiest boy of the class out ! Of course he would agree ?!

         ''I mean... I caught fire several times because of the things she would say.'' The half and half boy replied to his friend. ''Oh, and when we all went to the beach ? Dude, I think you couldn't even focus on the beach volley !'' Kirishima added, not that Todoroki particularly wanted to be reminded that. ''Can we... not talk about it ?''

         And the boys knew why ; they were sure going to tease him about it. ''She touched your arm... she said you were muscular...'' Sero started to half-sing, his friends laughing in the process. ''I don't know how you didn't pop a boner when she did, though. I know I would've. She caressed your abs.'' Kaminari commented, making Endeavor's son furrow his eyebrows.

         ''Don't say that.'' He said at the thought of it. ''Awn, don't be jealous.'' The blonde replied. ''But still, did you decide when you were going to confess to her yet ?'' Midoriya asked. However, Todoroki simply frowned. ''No. I don't want to be embarrassed. She's quite intimidating as well.'' He muttered that last part, but the others still heard it.

          ''Was there an occasion you could've asked her out, but you didn't ?'' Kirishima asked, really wanting to help his friend. ''Well, there was that time I let her ruffle my hair to mix the colors... I thought it was pretty intimate.'' Kaminari snorted at the comment ; but Todoroki was right. ''Don't laugh, nobody has ever touched his hair. He's right to say it was quite intimate.'' Tenya defended him.

       ''You should play her own game.'' Kirishima finally said. ''What do you mean ?'' The main addressee asked him. ''Oooh, clever ! Kirishima's right, Todoroki !'' Kaminari said, excited. ''Can somebody explain to me what's going on ?'' Endeavor's son asked, still confused. ''You should get flirty. You surely won't be able to push it as far as her, but you can still try it. She has a crush on you too, right ? It'll be enough to embarrass her !'' The red-hair boy explained.

            ''Wait... she has a crush on me ?'' Was all Todoroki asked. He really was oblivious. But the boys' plan was a good one. And after teaching him how to do it, he was finally ready when the week-end was over. Indeed, on Monday morning, the students were going to go to the USJ and do some rescue exercices.

          ''So, for the first exercice, you are going to partner up !'' All Might said, his usual excitement obvious in his voice. Slowly but surely, Todoroki walked to (Y/N). She turned to look at him, an eyebrow arched. ''You would've asked me to partner up, right ? You don't mind ?'' He asked. He sounded quite confident, which confused the girl a bit. Still, she snorted and agreed.

            All Might was picking the pairs that were going to be the heroes, those that were going to be the victims, and those that were going to be the villains for the first turn. However, Todoroki was lost in his thoughts. He was very excited to play with (Y/N), actually.

            He remembered that one time she helped herself standing up by grabbing his thigh, which had made him blush like he never had before. At the beach, she pushed his hair back, to look at his forehead.

           She had thrown water at him, and she just really liked to touch his hair. She was quite close already. However, since he was taller and she was pushing his hair back, she got even closer and pushed her breast against his chest, and he couldn't believe he managed not to active his fire side accidentally.

           ''Sorry, I mixed the two sides of your hair ! But you don't mind, right ?'' She had given him puppy eyes and pouty lips. So of course, the only thing he managed to say was : ''I-I... Of course I... Of course n-n-not.'' She smiled when he stuttered. She adored messing with him. But Todoroki had trained enough to be able to contain himself and be the one messing with her this time.

         ''Shoto, did you hear ? We're on the hero team.'' He blinked a few times, blushing already at the mention of his name. ''Okay.'' He muttered, without stuttering. But oh boy, it was actually going to be difficult. He thought he was ready ! After scattering, it was time for the heroes to rescue the victims while fighting the villains they would cross.

          Immediately, Todoroki grabbed (Y/N)'s hand and started to run to find some victims. They were getting more points if they were rescuing most people. He was surely blushing at his own action, but she was behind him and couldn't see his face. And (Y/N) ? Well, she was still confused with his behavior, but she was soon going to give up.

         Later, as they were rescuing Tsuyu and Ochaco, Tokoyami and Jirou attacked them. Usually, Todoroki would've frozen them with his quirk. But today, he had a strategy. He protected (Y/N) with his ice, making her unable to move, and then he froze the enemies. ''Todoroki ! Still working on your plan, I see !'' Kirishima commented, as he was passing by -being on the hero team as well. The main addressee nodded, and walked to the girl.

         ''Shotoooo ! Not fair ! Free me !'' She said,  pouting. He smiled at her cute expression, and unfroze her. However, he didn't use his quirk enough to make her feel warm again. ''Thanks, but now I'm cold.'' As soon as she said it, Todoroki cupped her cheeks with his left hand, locking eyes with her.

           He was actually very close. And that's when she stopped remaining calm ; she started to blush, so bad. She wasn't even sure if her cheeks were warming up because of the boy's quirk or because of her blushing. Endeavor's son was blushing as well, but he brushed it off ; (Y/N) would surely think it was because of the use of both his quirks.

          Once he was done warming her up, Todoroki ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back, some locks mixing ; he knew the girl absolutely adored that, and he was even enjoying that she was getting weaker at his actions, and that he was the flirty one for once. ''Are you feeling better, (Y/N) ?'' He asked, not stuttering at all ; actually, what was difficult this time was to restrain a laughter. ''Y-yeah, thanks.'' She replied. She stuttered. Todoroki loved that.

‘’Let’s go save the others, then.’’ That said, he turned to rescue Tsuyu and Ochaco, but of course, someone else had already rescued them, Todoroki and (Y/N) obviously busy with their flirt. ‘’Why did you do that ? We could handle one each easily and we wouldn’t have lost time to rescue them.’’ She didn’t sound mad at him ; she was genuinely confused. ‘‘Oh, thinking that I thought it was a great occasion for you to make me feel intimidated, again.’’

Her eyes widened at his words. ‘’You understood that I was flirting with you ?’’ She didn’t care about the exercices anymore. ‘’The boys made me understand it. They said I have a crush on you.’’ She snorted. ‘’Well, you surely have, since you keep blushing everytime.’’ (Y/N) giggled but Todoroki wasn’t done.

‘’And you kept blushing today. I guess I can ask you out now ?’’ The girl gasped at his confession. ‘’Wait, you really waited for me to blush to do that ?’’ He nodded, smiling in the process. She gasped and jumped to hug him, pinching his cheeks when she was done.

‘’My baby Shoto finally asking me out ! Of course you can !’’ She said, using a much higher voice, before gesturing him to follow her ; they still needed to rescue their classmates. But Todoroki knew she was still much better than him at the flirting game. No worries. He would learn.

Now I actually put a screenshot of the request even after I said that I wrote it, in case ppl can’t find their requests anymore!!!

[dailyaudiobible]

08/27/2019 DAB Transcript

Job 23:1-27:23, 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11, Psalms 41:1-13, Proverbs 22:5-6

Today's the 27th day of August. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian, it's always, always, always good to be here with you, always good to sit around the global campfire, always good to let God's word wash over us, always good to know that this space, like no matter how crazy your day gets, there is a safe, calm, serene place that we can go and let it wash away and let God's Holy Spirit kind of wash in as we listen to His word. So, that's the space that we’re in no matter what else is going on. So, let's just exhale and breathe in and be here now as we take that next step forward. So, we’re reading from the New International Version this week. Today, Job chapter 23 through 27.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we've covered some significant ground in the book of Job watching the back-and-forth of the friends. And, so, let’s kind of just catch ourselves up because we’ve seen...well…we saw a right at the very beginning of Job what happened to Job, and the devastation truly, truly is unspeakable. Like he lost literally everything and everyone in his life. And, so, yeah, I mean, completely scorched earth in his life. So, his friends come to comfort him and sit Shiva with him as we remember. But this, you know, once they start talking, they’re comforting him but that comfort turns into debate, turns into argument, right, which turns into this full-blown existential thing that's going on now where they're fighting about what God does and does not do, which sounds so familiar. I mean, it’s such an echo of the kinds of things that we say to people when we’re trying to comfort, when someone's trying to comfort us. So, as we’re reading today, Job describes what he has observed of God's movements in the world and then as is the case now and as was the case in this story, then his friends try to start explaining why God did what He did, what it is that Job observed, but these explanations to the why question, they're just not working for Job. Like, nobody could answer on God's behalf for Job. Like he was only after God himself, which is really all that Job's been saying all along. Like, if I knew where to find him, I would go there. I would…I would argue my case. Like, I would…I would present what I know and I would listen to what he would tell me, what he says to me. But Job is just not comfortable…comfortable is not the right word, it’s just not enough to hear what everybody else thinks God is or isn't going to do. He wants to know straight up. And, so, now the friends and Job have themselves talking in a big circle cause on the one hand Job's looking for answers from God himself, but he couldn't…he can't find God himself and on the other hand, Job's friends keep trying to tell Job that only righteous people can even hope to find God. So, Job must not be as righteous as he thinks he is because he can't find Him. But Job will just keep going around the circle because he will not be talked out of his innocence. It’s like he truly believes that God is heaping judgment upon him with no just cause. I mean, let’s just put in Job's own words. So, reading Job's own words. “As long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not say anything wicked and my tongue will not utter lies. I will never admit you are in the right. Till I die I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it. My conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.” Right? So, pretty definitive, pretty clear. Like, Job’s drawn the line in the sand. He’s gonna pursue God's presence, even if it kills him and he is going to hope in God, even if that hope ends up being hopeless. That…that is riveting to me. Like that is a striking posture to me. And, I mean, obviously when we began this book, we started dealing with things that we usually avoid. Like, we don't talk about suffering unless we are, right? We’re not really focused on hardship unless that's what we’re facing. And it’s so much easier to give the right answers, right, or even to receive the right encouragements when life is pretty stable, but Job's life is not stable. Like Job's life is upside down. Job's life is basically splattered all over the ground. So, he's thinking that words of friends or enemies, like words from other people aren’t going to get him there. The only way he’s gonna find which way is up, like find a north star again, find equilibrium again is to find God. But that's the thing, he doesn't know what he will find if he can find God. I mean, these are Job's words. “He stands alone and who can oppose Him. He does whatever He pleases. He carries out His decrees against me and many such plans He still has in store. That's why I am terrified before them. When I think of all this, I fear Him.” So, let's notice how the Bible just let’s Job wrestle with this, lets his friends wrestle with this, which in turn lets us wrestle with this. Job is truly looking for a conclusion. His friends are truly trying to explain what they think they know about God. Job just wants to find God, but he doesn't know what he would find. And, so, this kind of lets us…it pricks us, it disrupts us because we can think of our own hearts posture when we’re trying to ask why questions. Are we pursuing God so that he will just take the struggle away, whatever it is that we’re facing that we want gone, that we don't want to have to deal with? Is that…is that why we are getting close to God, so that because we think He'll take it away or is it because we think He's going to give us an answer that appeases us? Like, what if he doesn't? Like, sit with that one for a second. Like, what if he doesn't. If you could choose to have God or you could choose to have the answers that you're looking for, what is that you want? And what I’m not like trying to do here is like being discouraging, “like you just never know with God, what He's gonna do. You just kinda settle for it”. God loves us you. He loves us. Like that's…like that is fed to us on a continual basis in Scripture. He loves us. We are his children. We are His masterpiece. He adores us. He died for us. He loves us. Well…we need to kinda get it through our heads, that just because He's not Santa Claus, like just because He doesn't do everything we tell Him to do, that doesn’t mean He doesn't love us. It means there's a whole lot of things we don't know. And for somebody with my personality, kind of makeup, I don't…I don't like that. I go in pursuit of the knowledge. I need to know what I don't know so that I can even know what I don't know. But I have been on that path most of my life and all I have come to the conclusion with God is that there is this leap of faith that must be taken on a continual basis because all roads lead back to a leap of faith. So, when we face circumstances that are confusing or baffling, when we’re facing hardship and, it's pretty hard to face the hardships of Job, but even if we were, like Job is this example of where everything is touched because everything in his life got wiped out. So, even if we step back and go like, “that hasn't happened to me but lots of bad things have happened to me and I’ve pursued answers that I don't have, what we usually do is blame God, like He's withholding from us, He's withdrawing from us, He won't tell us…but why? Why? He loves us. So, when we've hit the bottom then we can try to keep digging lower or we can realize everything is now out of my control and the only thing left to do is let go. And when we do, we find that we have taken a leap of faith and that's when the unexplainable and unexpected begins to happen, when we let go of expectations, when we realize that we don't know what's coming next and we have no control over it. All of those things have been false constructs. Hardship and suffering sort of peel those layers away and force us to see things as they really are. We are all utterly dependent upon God for our next breath. So, Job wants to find God. Will he find God? We’ll find out as we continue this book. Job's friends want to explain God. Will they be able to explain God? We’ll see. But what we can see at this point in the book of Job is, nobody knows all they think they do.

Prayer:

Father, we invite Your Holy Spirit into that because we pride ourselves on what we think that we know and what we think that we can discover and find out and yet everything that we have ever discovered or found out has been by Your mercy, by Your grace, by Your patience, and by Your kindness to us. And we apologize for…we apologize for all that You've been blamed for that You have nothing to do with. We apologize for misinterpreting our lives in pursuit of understanding. We surrender ourselves to You knowing that You are good, and our only hope is in You. So, come Holy Spirit we pray into all of our hardships, all of our disruptions, all of our sufferings. Bring comfort we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and its home base, and its where you find out what's going on around here.

There is an important announcement I need to make today, an announcement that I’ve been waiting to make for a long time, months now, and that is that the Daily Audio Bible app has just been updated and it's a big one, a massive update, the biggest update we've ever had I think, 10 months of development into this. So, yeah. I mean back when we launched 1.0 of the app of our own proprietary app, that was in January of 2018. And, so, and we updated, updated, updated because we were learning so much. It was so overwhelming…I mean we got bowled over so quickly with the new app. And, so, we did learned like some really, really crucial things in those first days, but just because you've learned something doesn't mean it's coded out. That takes a long, long time. And, so, we worked for months to stabilize as many things as we could and all while learning like there's a bigger pie here, there's a bigger thing because we built everything to…I don’t want…I don’t want to get into the weeds here. Like, I really could talk for well over an hour about just this, but we fundamentally learned like wow we really need specialized stuff, doing specialized things. So, a lot of technology is baked into this new app. For years and years we had been running 17 servers to serve up the Daily Audio Bible and it was creating so many little pesky things that we couldn't figure out because when you're running a bunch servers you don’t know which ones causing a problem or if one is causing a problem or what. So, we moved into a much more robust environment that now will serve us content from the nearest server. So, wherever you are in the world you’ll be getting content from the nearest server and that just stabilizes things dramatically. We also learned that, you know, like we were little kids we learned there's a difference between boys and girls, and then when you grow up you realize there's a difference between Apple and Android and they’re very very different. And, so, yeah, some strengths some weaknesses on both sides from a programming perspective but we’ve had some really pesky Android issues for months, especially with more current Android phones. We think…we believe most of that is resolved…and maybe all of it is resolved in this release. We’re having a hard time like picking and choosing because there's pages of things that are updated. For example, the player. The player, when you push play and it like plays the Daily Audio Bible, that was reconfigured from the ground up so that it could better communicate the data back about where you may have left off so that you can better return to your place if you return. So, just tons and tons of stuff. Now that doesn't mean that every…I mean it's just impossible when you're talking about phones all over the world and Internet providers all over the world. Like it's hard to, you know, bulletproof everything but we have made massive strides toward a robust platform that we’ve had to build from the ground up and will lead us forward. So, if you haven't already updated your app, do update this app. And I have a few more things I want to say but I want to stop here because I don’t want to wait until the very end to tell you about the one thing that is tremendously exciting and that is when you update to the latest version of the app, and you're looking at the channel screen. You will notice that there's this little red button up at the top, right after Daily Audio Bible, right after it says Daily Audio Bible. You’ll see this red button. That red button is a hotline. So, if you have a prayer request or comment, you’re shouldering burdens, you certainly, certainly can call the numbers that we have located in different places around the world, that’s is not going away but now that’s just built-in. You have a hotline. You press that button, start talking. And then when you're done you can listen to what you had to say or you can just submit it and you’ll be able to submit to the Daily Audio Bible or to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, depending on what it is you're listening to. So, this just gives us a portal, a hotline no matter where you are and no matter what's going on and that was something that we had been dreaming about it for a couple of years. It's just now finally where at the place in development where that is in this new release, and I am so excited to have it and I think it's gonna be a meaningful thing to our community. We've also tightened up integration to all the different things that are connecting to the platform. So, like the Prayer Wall is much more stable in this version of the app. Now there are some things, some things that have been pesky or have been annoying like if you click the box that says you've listened today and then you go and you're like, “well…it didn't click, it didn't…it didn't show me the checkbox. Like what do I gotta do?” That's because everything on the platform updates every five minutes. And, so it will. Like those things, they do work themselves out, but the technology that we've put into this new app has put a lot of things into place. We still have a lot of building to do, but ultimately, we’ll be able to update the app a lot more quickly…like it's not gonna be another 10 months. And very, very soon, those things will be connected in a totally different way, so they’ll be instantaneous. When you check the box that you've listened or something like that, it'll….across the platform…no matter what…I mean like if you were on the player watching from your desktop computer and you made that change on your phone it would just be made on your screen as well…like it's gonna be across the board. Those changes will just happen instantaneously. We’re not quite there though. A lot of the technology that it's gonna take to do that has been built into the app so that we can then build it on the platform side and that’ll work in a future update, but massive, massive strides forward. Let’s just remember, we launched with 1.0 and this is 1.1. So, we’re still like in version 1 of a grand vision, but we are really really excited about this one. So, brand-new Daily Audio Bible app or brand-new, updated Daily Audio Bible app is out now across all the platforms. So, whether your Apple devices or android devices or for that matter Amazon devices, they’re Android devices but they have some of their own special stuff going on. And, so, all those apps have been updated and couldn't encourage you more to update your app now and have that hotline from right within the app.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link and it lives on the homepage and I thank you profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner. If you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you for prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

[sueboohscorner]

#Power S4 EP5: Don't Thank Me *Recap & Review* #FreeGhost

Episode Rating Scale: (10) Exceptional

I don't know about yall but this season of Power got me all fired up. I mean screaming at Angela and Dre for they shadiness. Shaking my head at how devious Kanan is about any and everything. Realizing Jukebox is crazier than Kanan. Loving Tommy and LaKeisha together. So much to scream about and more love to keep watching. Let's recap and discuss Power... Don't Thank Me.   

Angela finally gets it!!! She finally understands Ghost didn't kill Greg. How can you claim to know that man but not know when he is telling the truth and lying? Better yet, all that you do know why you would believe he would kill Greg now? Ghost could have been doing that, so why would he now. Sadly, everything he has done has been for the love he had for her. Even the fake break up was to protect her from Mulan. She so smarts till she dumb, I swear. As she sits talking to her sister Paz, I was shocked to hear her sister encourage her to tell her boss what she discovered. We all know Paz didn't care too much for Ghost, but that caught me by surprise. Silver and Ghost discuss the freezing of his finances. I can no longer call him the little helper attorney, lol. Ghost don't trust him anymore then we would. I mean, how can you trust an attorney with full details of your life; who has clearly made it known he doesn't like you. Proctor being removed from the case was the worst thing ever to me. Silver want Ghost to trust him and for a second seem like Ghost thought about trusting him. Silver wanted to know did the prosecution find something in his finances. I mean they close Truth, the hair salon, and the bank account basically. Did they find something? Ghost told him they found nothing but you know he worried. He probably wondering, did I slip up somewhere? 

Angela talks to Mike. She tells him the tapes doesn't show Ghost hiding the gun in his office. Because Mike is the real killer, he is not trying to hear anything she has to say. John and Saks interrupt Angela and Mike conversation. Apparently, they found a check between Tommy and Ghost. Now, why would Tommy use a check if he is going to hire Ghost to kill a Fed?  So smart till they dumb. Tony is setting something up. He talking to that CO played by Charlie Murphy. Nothing good coming out of that. Silver tells Tarsha she might have to testify. He is trying to be sneaky and get her to tell him what Ghost isn't saying. Little did he know, Tarsha isn't telling you anything. Keisha and Tommy's romance seems to be brewing.  Keisha is falling for Tommy, but  Tommy is messed up over Holly. That ignorance of Keisha question said it all. Tommy heard her ask what Holly do to break them up. Tommy confronts Proctor about not telling him he is kicked off Ghost's case. Proctor learns that Tarsha is also deep in Tommy's and Ghost's business. Stern pays Ghost a visit. He is trying to get his business back. Ghost does need money but he selling nothing

Proctor is spending time with his daughter when Angela pays him a visit. She wants Proctor help Ghost. Proctor truly doesn't like Angela. We can't blame him on that. He tells Angela to call Silver and talk to Ghost to get the answers she seek. No handshake for you Angela. Tarsha and Keisha have girl talk. Keisha tells Tarsha she is dating a white boy. I thought she didn't want Tarsha to know. I guess she let the cat out the bag. That look Tarsha gave her and Keisha didn't deny she wasn't talking about Tommy.  Keisha has fallen for Tommy, omgg. Angela visit Ghost with Silver by her side. Angela learns what Ghost did that night Greg was killed. She finds out he was there when she was at Greg's apartment. She find it hard to believe but she knows he telling the truth. She gives Silver the heads up about the check John going to present to the judge. On that note, meeting over. Silver needs to talk to his client. The more the Feds dig, the more its a possibility Tarsha has to take the stand. That wouldn't be good for none of them.

Tariq is staring at a girls number. Tommy sneaks up on him. They share a man to man talk. Tommy finds out Tariq has had sex at a party. Tariq once again lies about the company he keeps. He done got Dre in more hot water with Tommy. Kanan is doing a number on this kid. He mad at his father and hanging with a devil. Ironic he feels his father has lied to him so he mad at Ghost. Little does he know, Slim aka Kanan is lying to him and using him.

Tarsha and the kids arrive at court. Tarsha try to talk to Silver but he can't talk right now. John enter the check into evidence to the judge. Silver calls a witness to the stand. Tarsha thinks it's her but nope, Ghost took the stand. He explains the check was to cover security for his three nightclubs. Ghost puts on the business man persona. If I didn't know better I would have believe he was an innocent business man. Lol. Now the prosecutor has something up their sleeve. What could it be? While court is in recess, Stern approach Tarsha. Since Ghost turned him down, he goes to wifey. Glad Tarsha didn't feed into him. Dre had a new idea for Tommy. The feds got Tommy business a little out of order with Truth being closed, the drug business isn't getting that club money. Dre comes up with anyway to make that money. Tommy likes the idea. He asked Dre about the party he took Tariq too. Of course Dre denies taking him to a party but Tommy think he lying. Court doesn't go well with Mike questioning Ghost. He managed to push Ghost buttons enough for him to scream "I didn't kill Greg." So because he called the man Greg, he killed him. Ummmmmm, he dated Angela and Greg dated Angela. Their paths have cross,why wouldn't he know him as Greg. Duh!!!  Don't see how that help the prosecution case. 

Back at the jail Ghost is upset with Silver. He does see how he let Mike take him out of character and call him a killer in front if his kids. Silver tells Ghost he will need more money to get all the help to beat this case. Ghost doesn't have that kind of money. Looks like Ghost is losing faith of beating these charges. Ghost in the gym blowing off some fustration. I don't know about y'all but I was screaming "Noooo, Ghost!!!",  at the TV.  That CO pushed the wrong button talking about screwing Tarsha and his kids calling him daddy. James lose his cool and Ghost emerges. He takes all his fustration out on him and give him a blood bath death. Then enters Biscuits and Tony. So that was the plan. They was going to kill Ghost. I guess that plan didn't work out. Biscuits tries to stab Ghost. As they wrestle, Tony change the plan. He kills Biscuits, then orders Ghost to change clothes with Biscuits. Amazing how the jail has no camers. Lol. Anyway, now Tony has something to hold over Ghost head. How will he use it? 

Tarsha question Tommy about him and LaKeisha. Tommy tells her it all started when she hid her from Mulan. Tarsha share the news that Keisha is into him. Tommy finally tells Tarsha the truth. Tarsha thought Tommy would have found her after finding out she was pregnant. He tells her the entire story about not being able to kill Ghost per Lobos orders. Holly tried to kill Ghost and he thought he was dead. He didn't know she was pregnant. Tommy isn't feeling LaKeisha like that. He loved Holly and he killed her. Hard pill to swallow. Tommy not ready to love again. Poor LaKeisha with a friend like Tarsha, who needs enemies. She basically told Tommy to keep dealing with her to keep her from being a woman scorned or kill her. At least that's what I took from the protect the family. Lol.   

Angela takes the stand to testify on the truth. She admits the tapes clear Ghost of the charges. John brings up Angela and Ghost relationship. The judge had enough. He orders suspension for the entire prosecutor team and set Ghost free. Yassssssssss!!!! That's what I was screaming at the TV. Ghost thanks Angela but of course she just couldn't say, "You are welcome." Smh. Dre and Kanan meets up. Dre gives Kanan his last payment. Dre ask him again to leave Tariq alone. Dre offers Kanan a proposition to help him. As the two of them talking, Julio sees this meeting. Now what will he do with that information. Finally, someone know Kanan isn't dead other then Dre. Angela and Mike meet up in the elevator. Mike is upset with her but Angela did the right thing. He should be glad and just get out if dodge before the heat come down on him. Silver and Tarsha share a suspicious hug. Looks like they might be feeling each other. Silver tells Tarsha they might want to get a float with their money taking such a lost. At least Ghost can open Truth back up now and the hair salon. When he leaves, Tarsha calls stern. Now what she up to?

Tariq shows up at Slim's crib. What unexpected visitor is waiting? Tommy has been ordered to go to Chicago. He gets a new ride and leaves his phone behind. Now what is going on. He top dog, how he leave his phone behind. On top of that, he is leaving without knowing Ghost is free. What is going on now? What is about to happen with Tommy? Tony gives Ghost a phone to give to Tommy. Ghost want to know why he interested in Tommy. He knows Tiny been in jail too long to know them personally. He asked, "You know his father or something?" Tony doesn't admit to nothing. The look on Ghost face tells it all. Tony Terisi is Tommy's father. I still stand by that. Lol. As the final moments come to close to the end, we see Jukebox come from out the shadows. That was the surprise visit. The original plan to hold Tariq for ransom and take all of Ghost money is back on the table as plan now that Ghost is free. When she asked Kanan was he down with it, his response, "what you want me to do?" Kanan got all ends covered to take Ghost down. You just can't trust nobody. Stay tuned as Power keeps us on the edge of our seats. 

If you missed this episode, please catch it on Comcast On Demand as well as other episodes.

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Editor: Lattice Johnson