#nobody comment on the background i dont want to think about it

[gwinwe]

dinner time

[auckie]

I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.

[effervescentdragon]

a propos max's comment about having the wrong passport and the discourse about racism the other day;

okay so i didnt wanna answer these anons before because i didnt have the energy or the will to do it, i was having too much fun traipsing around munich, and i also didnt wanna keep dragging the outrage towards the blog of a person who started thag bcs some of yall are too comfortable being mean to people for any percieved slight and i didnt want to expose them to that but there are some things i wanna say.

my problem with the whole thing was that the commonly accepted and constantly reinforced idea of racism is very us-centric and does not apply to europe. as humpty dumpty once said, words only mean what i want them to mean and same word will be used in different socio-political-cultural contexts for different things, given that participants in the conversation are assumed to have the same background contextual knowledge as to why those words are used thusly. my issue stemmed from the fact that for usamericans, racism as they perceive and experience it trumps everything, and they are guilty of dismissing and mocking the very real existence of something we in europe like to call xenophobia, which all of those labeled immigrants have experienced. i believe it is laughable and deserving of mockery to come onto an european person's post and americasplain that actually no, white people dont experience discrimination. it comes feom an erroneous belief of what a "white person" is, relying on purely the colour of someone's skin. for example, in the early 20th century, irish immigrants were considered non-white in the us. race as such is a complicated construct, and definitions change through time, just like language does. you do everyone a disservice if you refuse to accept that the baseline of discrimination is power imbalance, and this power imbalance may come from many different origins and is dependent on the lens you're looking at it through. it can be class, nationality, ethnicity, race (in whichever way it's meant), sexuality, religion, gender, etc.

one of the things you learn as a linguistic student is that you have to be aware of the context of utterances at all times and that it does you no good to assume that your lived experience is important or impactful in any way to someone who is speaking and is not you. any generalisation or playing "me is woe-est" will only have you ridiculed (or blocked), because nobody takes kindly to their own experiences being invalidated or being told that there is only one way (of experiencing something, in this case opression) or the highway. developing critical thinking skills and the ability to listen to other people's experiences is crucial if you want to interact with the world as a whole. not everything is about you.

[nikethestatue]

this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.

Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh

And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.

All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out

Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!

Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?

I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??

They got mad because you were right. That's it.

SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.

We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).

These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.

Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.

They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.

[qevillous]

hai hello i wanted to ask abt how u view shadow s5 and any hc's you have for them as sort of both individuals and as a group :3 go as in depth as you like im a sucker for long detailed explanations

OUYH MY GOOOD SHADOW S5 OH MY GAGGDG

OH MYG OD okay hey

shadow s5 as a dynamic is so interesting to me because its very similar yet very VERY different all the same because of exactly who gets changed.

so first on like individual levels heres how i take the shadows ahem clears throat (STINKS that we dont have canon aloarmy but okayyy hinodeya)

shadow rider is canonically a coward, hes nervous and self doubting. hes verrrry exaggerated in the manga so i like to exaggerate him in writing. i think hes more of an incompatible follower who cant get picked by anyone instead of a compatible loner who chose to be alone like normal rider.

shadow army has no canon interp so i interpet them similarly to how eging jr was flipped but in reverse. theyre less organized, they dint fuckin button their shirt right they wear their coat unzipped shitty tie shitty facepaint yk the deal. i also interpret them as more aggresively rebellious where normal army is more of a passive stickler. that basically means they’re more laid back and explicit. 

shadow aloha ALSO has no canon. so i interp him as a loooserrr LMAO very sarcastic but very pessimistic, where normal aloha is more of a sarcastic optimist. he comments on shit in the background like hes talkin to someone even tho nobody gives a fuck what he thinks and he doesn’t particularly care about his surroundings. overall just the loser in the corner of a party sitting down holding a drink instead of the main focus. 

shadow mask is silly. silly guy. they’re obviouslt exaggerated a LOT in the manga so i like to tone them down just a bit, acting more happy for the sake of being happy instead of high energy. that contrasts masks ideal of being cynical for the sake of being cynical. i think both are sarcastic but on shadow masks side xe doesn’t mean it, and they come off as insincere, explaining how their excitement at the battle felt like excessive overkill despite it not being so.

shadow skull is very similar to normal skull in expressiveness, but is different in awareness. i think shadow skull is very aware of his surroundings but not very emotionally empathetic. i think what he lacks in empathy is made up for in his directness. 

shadow s5 is interesting because it pretty much completely throws the social dynamic of s5. normal s5 is 1 extrovert 1 ambivert 3 introverts, and instead of shadow s5 being 4 extroverts 1 ambivert 1 introvert, shadow s5 is ACTUALLY 2 extroverts 3 introverts. which makes it even more interesting because of just how much more balanced it makes their social interactions split into duos.

for example shadow raimask is very chill since they both share a similar mindset, where shadow raimask is chaos because they have directly oppising mindsets. on the flip side shadow alomask is direct opposites, and normal alsomask is ALSO direct opposites but swapped over. i could talk about it for a while but i think i would start rambling like a crazy person. i like the idea of shadow s5 in a more casual light instead of the manga’s exaggerated one. it would give more insight to their personalities and interactions but we cant have Anything can we bcz hindodeya haaaates meeeeee.

[currently-evil]

I’ll distract you 😌💕

24 21 and 16!!! Please 🙏🏼

Thank you, I am writing now 20 pages about floods in my country and I need to break. Did you know that in the middle ages only one guy wrote down what were the causes of some floods and after he died everybody was like "in year 1493 there was a flood but its boring and i wont write anything more about it" I AM DOING A STATISTICS ABOUT ALL MAYOR FLOOD WHY NOBODY OF YOU WROTE DOWN WHAT CAUSES IT OH MY GOOOOD

Anyway, I am going to stop talking about flood and talk about Rowan, my beloved :)

16. Describe their least favorite/most embarassing sexual encounter.

I am going to assume consensual. I dont really wanna bring my mood down to think what happend in Farm.

His least favorite was his first time he got in contact with anything sexual. (Rowan was all his life extremely asexual and sex repulsed, only now his relationship with Steel and Ortega made him realise sex was good and it was something he actualy wanted and liked.) I think it would be when he was a Farm operative on some mission, he was pretending to be asleep in some club to have free range to scan minds of patrons, when some couple started doing it next to him, with this whole "haha its more exciting because somebody is near and we can be caught" while Rowan couldnt move away and was subjected to their very horny thoughts and was all like "Eww Eww Eww stop it! stop it! Blergh!"

Most embarassing was his first time with Ortega, when he still havent told him about being Regene and they did it in the dark. I imagine Rowan was stiff as board at the beggining, for sure accidentally hitting Ortega once or twice and so unsure it was painfuly visible he had no experince. But it was good. Ortega was patient and loving and both of them didnt comment when both of them started to cry in the middle of it.

You know what! His first time at all would be super embarassing too! It was with Steel and he powered through all the foreplay with pure determination of "i like wei he likes me we both want to have sex stop being nervous STOP BEING NERVOUS CALM DOWN" and then suddenly when he sits on Wei's dick he just breaks down like "THIS SO NERVE WRACKING WHAT DO I DO?? WHAT IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG? WHAT IF I RUIN THE SEX? HOW DO I EVEN HAVE A GOOD SEX? HOW DO I EVEN MAKE IT GOOD FOR WEI??" and Steel have a little heart attack. He have to calm Rowan down and assure him that he doesnt have to do anything, he can just lay down and enjoy and be a little pillow princess its ok, they have time. After that well :)

21. What scent of candle do they light after sex?

I like to imagine Rowan as sleek and modern guy with woodsy scents. I had one that I think would suit him, It was called Seaside Woods Yankee Candle. But to be honest I think he would just light up a cigarette :D

24. A song they would fuck/get fucked to

Honest to god I think he would fuck in silence. I think he would concentrate too much on his partner on noises they make on their thoughts to even hear any kind of music in the background. But I think Ortega is more of a guy to have music while having sex and Rowan would just roll his eyes at him and bitch about it but honestly agree to anything if he could have Ortega kissing him into matress.

[starswallowingsea]

okay thinking about them was the only thing that got me through work today so i'm gonna just. talk about rinne and hinata (discussion of setsubun and suicide attempts under the cut)

i was rereading night club recently and completely forgot that they mentioned setsubun festival, which i also recently read for a fic idea that i'm gonna be incorporating these ideas into hopefully, and it got me thinking about hinata.

the twins have always been outcasts and hinata makes a note of the fact that nobody ever played with them growing up so they had to make up their own games to play on their own. they are also frequently mistaken for one other which understandably gives hinata at least extreme identity issues, calling him and yuta "deformities" and "mutations" for being twins. it all culminates in the rooftop scene in setsubun where he mentions that even if he gets hurt, yuta will be fine and yuta can continue living on without him, how hinata tried to "disappear" over and over again which...can be interpreted as either suicide attempts or just simply fading into the background to allow yuta to shine.

and then his whole breakdown was filmed and disseminated to the entire student body of yumenosaki. regardless of if he knew or not, i cannot imagine that he wanted something so personal, so private aired to everyone he knows so they can see it. mika makes a comment in night club that afterwards everyone became really protective of 2wink as a whole which...to some extent, just stifled hinata and made it harder for him to talk about his feelings and when he was hurt. i'm mostly speculating here since i haven't read too many 2wink stories but like. would you want everyone you know to see your most vulnerable moments like that?

so then enters rinne, a new guy on the block who has no knowledge of setsubun, of your videotaped suicide attempt, and who your boss is telling you to work with. his unit is focused on not judging people for who they are despite having crafted a villainous mask during the mdm. they hadn't touched 2wink at all and rinne was more than willing to work with hinata on their joint live, giving hinata a nickname even that he loved because it felt like someone was actually trying to be his friend again.

and most importantly, rinne listens to hinata, lets him vent and talk about things that he hasnt been able to because of how everyone else views him. rinne's taken on that mantle of big brother to give hinata a space to just be himself.

and i think this extends to the other new characters too, especially his roommates niki and hiiro. i do think that was a deliberate choice, to put him in a room with two guys who didnt know about setsubun and would just treat him like their other kouhais/classmates. it also helps that niki and hiiro dont judge very easily so they just treat him like a normal kid which he's longed for his entire life.

[webkinzwonders]

Dr. Quack- The Webkinz Killer!

Since Webkinz was very popular with school children it was a very relevant topic to discuss amongst themselves. Through this playground chatter, some conspiracy theories formed. There were various theories but a majority had the common thread of a “killer.” Something in the game that would murder your pet.

There were theories of a virus boxes appearing in your pet's room. Clicking on a box would create an event that ended with your pet dying or all your money disappearing. If you click on black and red boxes a, "Neopet pops out with a knife, and chops your Webkinz head off." Clicking a yellow box, "you loose all your webkinz possessions and "money." according to a 2008 Snopes article all about the Webkinz killer conspiracies. In this article they collected emails from 2007 from players seeking their opinions on all these conspiracies, one player passionately wrote,

"This webkinz virus thing is TOTALLY true. it happened 2 half my friends on webkinz. there is either some kind of gift on the floor or some kind of bomby thingy. it pops out like you got a gift. then Dr. Quack or Miss Birdie pops up, lights go out, red eyes come, it makes slashing noises on your computer, and then the lights turn on and your webkinz are dead on the floor with blood on them. You probably think that webkinz people would never do that. you are right, but NEOPETS would. Why? because they got angry that everyone went on webkinz and nobody went on neopets anymore, so they hacked into webkinz and put in some kind of virus. It is pretty scary for kids, so be careful with what you do with your webkinz and DONT GO TO YOUR ROOM!!"

One of the most popular theories targets Dr. Quack, the former Doctor of Webkinz World. The theory goes; if you go to the doctor's office to visit Dr. Quack for a check-up and make him mad enough, he murders your pet in front of you. Ways to make him mad were clicking on a poster in the background of the room 32 times, visiting him at midnight, or making him do a house call.  This terrified children all over and schools and parents even got involved. Children were terrified to visit the sinister doctor and Ganz even had to release a statement defending the duck. 

Karl Borst, the long-time creative director, later commented in 2021 on the situation in an interview with Forbes’ Jackson Weimer saying it was  “Really really annoying. I mean I should have seen it coming. As kids age up into their tween/early teen years, scary and gross humor becomes more popular. But we had worked so hard to keep the game kid-friendly and non-violent that hearing about kids honestly being scared that a virtual killer would kill their pets ticked me off. Writing those articles acknowledging the rumor was something I didn’t want to do, but had to.”

Dr. Quack later retired from being the Webkinz world doctor after finding a "cure" with the scientist dog Goober to all Webkinz illnesses. He uploaded many journal entries on the whole process, saying in his last one he has made the decision to retire,

"I'’ve had lots of time to think, now that pets are no longer getting sick and don’t need my medicine at the clinic. A quick snack or a bit of exercise is all that anyone needs to get feeling healthy again. I love the town of Kinzville and all of the citizens living here, but the truth is that they no longer need the services of a doctor.

This is why, after 10 years of loyal service, I have made up my mind to retire and close the clinic."

His clinic closed its doors and it is not able to be visited anymore when clicking on the map a pop-up message appears, “Dr Quack has retired and the Clinic is now closed.”

Doctor Quack's career was not over just yet though. He was elected Mayor of Kinzville in 2016 and again in 2020.

In 2020, during the pandemic players were commenting we need Dr. Quack more than even now. He released a statement rerunning for election with the promise, "That is why, if I am elected, not only will I return back to work as your mayor, I will also open my “Dr. Quack’s Caring Clinic” in the Clubhouse." 

Currently, you can still visit Dr. Quack in one of the chatrooms. In the clubhouse, there is a room called, “Dr. Quack’s Caring Clinic” where you can interact with other players. The only interaction you can have with the doctor is by clicking on him to receive a lollypop. He says standing in one place, he doesn’t get any bigger than the standard size you can see below. Here is my Webkinz pug named "puggs" visiting:

Dr. Quack had had quite the career for a virtual duck. From murder accusations to becoming mayor, Dr. Quincy Quack has done it all.

[autogynocrat]

going on anon instead of commenting because im closeted but abt the they/them degendering post. ur very correct but you also imply that trans men dont share this experience. i am a trans man and have also experienced they them degendering. im not trying to be rude, correct you, or disuade the conversation from acknowledging trans women. im also not denying it if you are trying to say that this is a WORSE issue for trans women - because it could be, i wouldn't know. i just think it does a disservice to the conversation to act like degendering is a phenomenon specific only to women. ignore this if that was just a vent post and you wherent actually trying to start a discussion, im sorry for bothering you if so. to reiterate this isn't meant to be a "making this about me" thing, it's just that ur post says directly that only trans women experience this, and that isn't true in my personal experience so I just wanted to say that bc i think that separating trans men & women from eachother TOO much in these sorta discussions can be detrimental to progress because it can create a divide that pits us against each other when truthfully we are in the same boat, even if many of our experiences differ. idk if uve maybe had an experience where a trans men invalidated u for this, and that's why u said only trans women ever get it. if that's the case it's really unfortunate- people should listen to others when they share their experiences. but it likely means that person just hasnt had that happen to him or dosent perceive it as an issue (i feel like most trans ppl would be bothered by it, but everybody's different). im sorry that people aren't respecting ur pronouns, i hope that things get better for you!

yes i think i have clarified my position after reading the tags and also reddit people accusing me of thinking trans men are oppressing me(????) its not that i dont think it happens to transmascs its that in my experience when a trans woman gets a punitive they(often during a bit dramatic internet event where she's being trial by fire'd), if she or other transfems point out that people are taking away her gender as a punishment, in my experience and observations more often than not she will be told she's crazy even by a lot of people within the community. im not saying it can't happen to transmascs im saying when it happens to transfems being dogpiled or punished nobody seems to care or notice bc its "neutral". people on tumblr have been way more chill with this and seem to understand my point but on reddit and Twitter and other spaces i see this happen a lot

basically what i was trying to vent about wasn't saying "this never happens to anyone else transmascs totally always get their gender respected" but "when this happens to trans women, we seem to be the only ones who notice it is happening to us, and people will call us crazy for noticing" that's what i meant by invisible. i don't think im erasing or denying trans mascs by saying that, i dont talk about transmasc bc i don't have life experience as one, i just have experience knowing that when this specific thing happens to trans women we get told by people of every background that it didn't happen.

hopefully this clarifies it better i dont know how much better i can say it im not making universal dogmatic statements im making experiential ones ones people keep assuming bad things about me for this post and it's frustrating

[youremyheaven]

I’m not Indian but the thing you said about body shaming from parents really hits. I do come from an immigrant background though and I feel like a lot of our cultures have normalised this behaviour.

But even my dad who is not an immigrant (yk those older white men who marry significantly younger women from 2nd/3rd world countries? An elder passport bro if you will lmao), once made a comment in a highly derogatory tone about my ass being too big. It wasn’t really sexual but more so a comment on my weight gain at the time, but bro I was 12 and I still think about it😭

People talk about body positivity a lot but growing up chubby/with curves is deeply traumatic and it makes me sad to think about how many of us experienced this

that was so wrong of your padre 😭😭

i s2g i feel like all non-white parents are more or less like this, and i guess even some white parents. its such a shame bc i remember being 13-14 and i felt hideous like nobody would even want to look at me and my mom would slut shame me and im like ??? babe im ugly and fat,, no part of me is "sexy" or "desirable" ALSO IM 13??? but she would talk like i was seducing every man in the city lmfao

I S2G the trauma of my early teens fcked me up ngl. its so heartbreaking to just transition from girlhood to adolescence and coming to terms with your burgeoning womanhood. like that's such a complicated experience to make peace with??? until yesterday i was a child but now i am still a child but people dont look at me like that, weird men on the streets catcall you, say disgusting things when you're within earshot, your mom thinks you're a whore even tho u literally do not know what exactly sex involves, strangers are sending u dick pics and porn gifs, now u have to worry about other people's intentions bc they might be trying to "take advantage" of you when a few months ago, they saw u as an innocent child. if someone gropes you, you hate yourself, you feel disgusting and dirty and no one tells you its not your fault. you feel afraid of people, of how they look at you, of what they might do to you, you dont want to be seen, you dont want to be touched. if you tell someone you were assaulted, sometimes they tell you its because you were careless or that you were asking for it or worse that you secretly enjoyed it. you cant eat or you eat too much, food becomes a source of shame. you want to feel like you have value, like you have power so you try to "own" your sexuality. fine if everyone thinks im a whore anyway i might as well "own" it except that it literally doesn't help. you feel worse. you dont know who you are because your whole identity revolves around how others perceive u and not what u have to offer as a human being. u think talent is worthless if u arent pretty. i could go on and on

literally female adolescence is a hellscape and every girl should get a medal for surviving it.

im sorry for my long (probably triggering) ramble but i just had to let it out lmao

im sorry that we've had to go thru this. praying for all girls and future women<333

[heyyallitsbeth]

Okay so I've mostly stepped back from DBD recently since it's been a bit boring since the last event, but I do really need to comment on the balancing.

Right now, people on both the survivor and killer side are complaining about how stupid each side's perks are, and unfortunately I have to 100% side with the killers on this one. Killer perk meta is annoying rn, but survivor perk meta outright puts you into un-winnable situations.

The complaint for the killer side is that there is far too much stacking regression perks, which is fair. Pain Res plus Pop does an insane amount of damage for the cost of one down, and Grim Embrace makes it even worse. However, even though it's annoying and not fun, they *did* earn that regression through the down. It's not fun, but it is fair. Annoying? totally.

However on the survivor side, you can be placed into a losing scenario from what should be an advantageous situation. After a down, you now have to worry HEAVILY about a plethora of perks. If you want to pick up immediately, you have to worry about background player and flashbangs and flashlights. BUT if you dont pick up immediately, you set yourself up to get the down negated entirely by FTP + Buckle Up. Perks like forced hesitation arent enough to stop the insane haste from Background Player, so you cant rely on those at all. And if someone is downed on a pallet, you cant really do anything unless you are completely sure nobody is within a few dozen miles from you, since even if you think youre safe, there could be background player zooming across the map in a matter of milliseconds, denying the down. And all of this assumes that you have the time to act before someone rushes in with FTP Buckle Up, since the cooldown from attacking is long enough that if someone is close enough, well, then you dont have a down, and now two people have endurance and cant be downed again. And then throw Mettle of Man in and now you've got invulnerable survivors from throwing themselves right at you after a down. Right now too many perks synergize in a way that removes any potential risk from the reward. And yes, it does require altruism to do this, which makes SWF players stronger, and may not help the average solo player as much, but that's not surprising. All it takes is one decent survivor to just entirely destroy a killer.

And of course, the killers this effects most are weaker ones. Nurse and Blight do not give a shit, but for a Trapper or a Wraith? Yeah its GG. There is *nothing* you can do. And pre-rework Twins was absolutely and utterly DECIMATED by FTP Buckle Up. If you were a Twins against that combo, you shouldve just disconnected, there was no chance to win.

Yes some killer perks are annoying and feel unfun as shit, personally i despise Friends Til The End since it's basically a free-tunnel perk but theres no one killer perk or build I see and just stop and go "what do i even do here?". With survivor perks, I will occasionally see them and go "shit... what now?" since there are some situations you just cant outplay

[nalyra-dreaming]

People took my anon that was pointing out that maybe we should hold off from saying that assad was casted for diversity points (🙄) like people in this fandom have been saying for over half a year now until we actually see where they are going w the changes that they've made to armand's background and then they really ran with it, I mean swarming on people who replied to that post with their own speculation with just such glee and mocking them, "x character doesnt believe in y you idiot" (because literally NOTHING about character's backgrounds have been changed in the show adaptation??? its speculation, if you hate the theory nobody is impacting the writing of the show by posting on tumblr). and then somehow assuming i was talking about an insanely specific ethnic group and then going actually some of them were slavers too!!! you know nothing about history!!!! as if my ask had ANYTHING to do with central asian history and wasnt about the here and now reaction of a small slice of fans to assad being armand. this is why people in this fandom dont want to point out weird patterns of behavior in this fandom, or even speculate on what they think will happen in later seasons, because your words will get so twisted that you arent even discussing the same thing anymore.

Presented without comment, except that I have noted in the tags of that reblog that I too had wished the tone was different…

It‘s very often the tone I‘ve noticed. People have unlearned to respectfully disagree on certain things. A lot of discourse on this show boils down to that imho, which is ironic, because especially this show is not black or white, pun not intended.

[birb-boyo]

It wasnt that it SOUNDED ableist, it literally WAS ableist. ??? everyone can see that so why arent you apologizing for an ABLEIST COMMENT?

but anyways if ur not part of our "little group" then fuck off the pall blog please nobody wants u there. and its not throwing a tantrum to be upset about ableism wtf? You and moss suck at communicating, for people who LOVE to preach it to others. ur made for eachother lmfao. and moss is only friends with you becuase they dont want to lose another friend.

"what Shade did is on them. Not me. I dont wanna fuck up more friendships and fall apart more with them" - moss

You know what. I guess I’ll answer this.

Shiver me timbers. I don’t care if Moss said it or not because if those words really mattered as much as you make them out to, you probably would’ve just sent me the picture of it the second they sent it to you. But no. You want to use it as a way of getting to me. Huh

Now I guess it’s time to pull up the dictionary guys

“Discrimination in favor of able-bodied people”

Now, what I said, after misreading something, was, if I remember correctly, “I may have caught dyslexia” and I actually do believe that I apologized because Jay took it personally but anyway-

Where in “I may have caught dyslexia” am I making fun of or degrading a nonable-bodied person?

Maybe if I said something like, “I caught your dyslexia,” I could see why you would call me ableist, but I didn’t say anything like that.

Also, here’s another thing. My sister has dyslexia. We bond over her dyslexia. You know, with me being a writer, I know what word she’s looking for or what word she can’t read. I’m not a stranger to dyslexia, even if I don’t have it. I couldn’t count how many times I said a word terribly wrong and my sister followed it up with some joke about me having dyslexia too. I know I don’t. We both do. That’s another thing. No body knows anyone else’s background.

For example, I was whopped when I was younger. By getting whooped, I learned how to act right. It’s discipline. But people outside would look at me horrified if I told them that I used to get whooped. That’s because they don’t understand.

Now, if we could stop throwing around “Shade is an ableist,” I’d appreciate it. Or keep saying it. I know I’m not an ableist

And when I said that you’re throwing a tantrum, it was because of how sudden all of this “this u messager boy” stuff was. You would’ve had to think about making a whole random account. So, thanks for committing that time to make a new blog just to send me stuff about what happened early January.

I also feel like staying on the blog just to spite you all ngl🤷‍♂️

[tiredinwinter]

hellö! i just thought of this and idk if it might be too much work for you but if you cant decide between a detailed and commented flip through or just a quick one, you could either do like both and add a sped-up look inside at the beginning/end or post it separately as well. i dont know if that would complicate things unnecessarily but yeah just a thought.

either way i dont think we mind you commenting on the side, i think its rather interesting! 👀

<333 💗💗💗

Hiiiii!! I was so confused for a bit what you were talking about lol😂😂

I think I'd like to give a full tour because I could give some fun facts and talk about struggles, techniques and general background info. I was just wondering if that's what people would be interested in or if they just want to see more doodles you know?

I've watched A LOT of sketchbook tours and flip throughs over the years, so I know that the actual tours with the side notes and stories are what I love most.

Knowing that most people here don't do art and are mostly either readers or writers is why I was curious to see whether there is a preference for you guys and if the additional information is even of interest for you💕

That's a good idea but I think if people really want to see the doodles only, they probably could just skip through! I just wanted to see if there are some people interested in a voice over, otherwise I'd just skip that and don't do the extra work if nobody even wants it haha :D

Thanks for reaching out about this hun 💛💛💛

[tristallyn]

actually you know what No. that ISN'T my final note. do you know SINGLEHANDEDLY how much that Single "And Stop!" has Fucked up my lyric comprehension of the last few seconds. Do you want to know WHY that is.

there's a Gap. Right there. (emphasized by the actual gap in the text, here) where Nobody is singing in the actual song. and even BESIDES the whole "and stop" thing, it REALLY feels like there SHOULD be something sung there.

and EVERY time i get to this part. i have to PHYSICALLY stop, and think, "wait, shit, IS there a lyric here UNDERNEATH the "and stop" that i just can't hear?" and i Cant remember, because my brain wont play it WITHOUT the "and stop". and this screwed me over SO many times in my earlier remembering attempts because i hadn't got it in my head that No, Nothing's There Actually

aside from some like Subtle "ooooooo" in the background but thats in the instrumental itself and through the whole song, so i dont count it for these purposes

not only THAT but it's laid in the EXACT same timing as the other Overlapping lyrics from this part. where they're not QUITE overlapping but it's a very obvious "everyone else nearly interrupting scott's dialogue". you can still Sing it as a single person, you just need to translate VERY quickly from one line to the next. and this line is just like this where if i dont think about it in time, i would go straight from "they're not my style!" to "and stop!"

and there is NOTHING else in the rhythm doctor version like this. im not inserting the extra beats from playing the game into the song. none of the "get set go's" from earlier on. its ONLY This Stupid "And Stop!"

This is such a specific thing to comment on that drives me insane but it's so funny to me. here. Listen. Here's the clip its easier to understand in actual video than it is me trying to explain through text

(youtube link btw its a really good custom level)

[dvasva]

I have a lot of complicated emotions about jgy that i wont get into now but i will say. Really i think peoples dislike of him comes down to who he ends up benefitting and why he hurts other people. because while wwx hurts a lot of people, we tend to view this in a more forgiving light because of something I like to call The MXTX Cycle Of Self Sacrifice And Tragedy in which an mxtx character does a big self sacrifice thing for the benefit of another character but it ultimately leads to a worse tragedy. Examples include: WQ and WN giving themselves up to jgs, only for wwx and the wens to still die, jiang yanli dying to protect wwx only for wwx to go crazy cause of her death, wwx giving jc his core only to be forced to use demonic cultivation, jc running out to save wwx fro. wens only for his core to be destroyed etc etc (there are examples in svsss and tgcf too but this is an mdzs post so i will refrain).

Some characters, imo, are kind of excluded from this cycle of Tragedy and self sacrifice, and they usually tend to be either the characters that are meant to escape this cycle of tragedy, like the juniors, OR characters who make decisions that are only meant to benefit themselves. They may make sacrifices but the sacrifices at the end of the day aren't for the benefit of other people. Theyre caught in another cycle, a foil to my MXTX Cycle of Self sacrifice and tragedy, one might say. I havent had a chance to fully define this cycle or name it but maybe i will one day.

In any case, the most moral thing you can do in mdzs, and in a lot of cultivation novels in fact, is to have Unwavering Morals. Lan Wangji is considered a paragon of morality by both the internal characters and us on the outside because he neved falters. He scolded Wwx when others praised him, and stood by his side when the world turned against him, and never compromised his own morals and decisions for any selfish reason. Wwx is the same way, despite all the tragedy, and thats why wwx and lwj respect each other from the start. AND this doesnt necessarily mean that they are making the 100% pure, unproblematic uwu they did nothing wrong decisions, this is entirely that they do not compromise what they feel is right for the sake of public opinion.

Jgy, on the other hand, is immoral because of his lack of Unfaltering Morals. He will cross any boundary he may have, change any opinion, adjust any morality, and compromise his own feelings in order to achieve greateness. To the point where a lot of times it feels like he doesn't have a sense of personal morality, only a sense of desire and ambition where anything is negotiable as long as the outcome is what he wants.

And this isnt to say none of his decisions were GOOD or didn't Benefit the Greater Good, cause its clear he did a lot of positives for cultivation society as a whole. Wwx comments how the guy is likeable and at the end of the novel, wwx doesnt really habe any personal gripe with Jgy. And you could say 'Wait! jgy does a lot of stuff for the sake of his mother, doesnt that count as self sacrifice?' but his mother kind of serves as an extension of his own ego, a dead justification for the things he does rather than a person in the story who contributes. she is the same as the guanyin statue with her likeness, passively watching over the plot, dead and unable to voice any opinion and unable to be someone who things are sacrificed for. Inherently separate from the cycle of self sacrifice.

Jgy and wwx are foils, is what it boils down to. Which doesnt mean theyre the same or make the same decisions, but their actions and decisions contrast with each other to point out and emphasize certain character traits and details. They have similar backgrounds, but make the opposite choices and yet their outcomes end up almost the same. Cycles yada yada yada.

Also, postscript, nobody likes jgs and while jgy doss eventually kill him, i think some people who dont like jgy are still pissed that he ever helped jgs for any reason, which is so valid. i hate jgs too.

MXTX: so the story starts with the main character's death. Then we unravel his story and how he tried his best but had to resort to fucked up methods in order to create real change and save lives, how society supported him while it benefited them and then turned on him when it was convenient, how his complicated social status of being gentry-adjacent was intrinsically tied into every decision he made AND how he was judged before during and after those decisions, how he experienced abuse and abandonment and support and love, saved lives AND killed people. He sacrificed everything but never compromised his ideals once, and it got him killed.

MXTX: and then we close the story on the death of this other guy, who we're also shown having gone through ALL THAT SAME STUFF, except this guy compromises every single time and that ALSO got him killed.

MXTX: neither of them were killed because it was "right" to, or because they were "evil", but because those with power in society were done with them. Their past actions were used to excuse their executions, and it's kinda fucked up actually, wouldn't you say?

MDZS fandom: 1 billion years of meta on why JGY is an irredeemable villain, and WWX is a pure cinnamon roll