#no warnings here i will genuinely sing its praises until the day i die

[bargarean]

i don’t think i’ll ever move on from how mtz and red dwarf are just. the same shows. they’re about a little group of people in space who are so bad at their jobs and/or do not do their jobs. they’re all always fighting but love each other more than anything. the protagonist is a purposeful subversion of your usual sci-fi protagonist by making him kind of so pathetic to varying degrees. his best friend is either a robot or arguably a robot and also they’re kind of ridiculously gay for each other despite having one sided beef that grows into absolute best friendship. i could write essays on how rimmer and lister are like if pleck and c-53 swapped roles and personalities. rimmer IS nermut if you put them in a room together they’d leave several hours later not shutting up about how they finally met someone who was On Their Level who UNDERSTOOD and APPRECIATED their career goals. one time nermut was very clearly about to get executed but he was COMPLETELY convinced he was getting a promotion—this would happen to rimmer. holly and bargie? okay sentient ship/ship ai nation. they’re both about The Horrors and how important it is to find love for life and for the people around you to get through it. this list does continue i’ve been thinking about this for months. these are the same shows in different fonts and it’s beautiful.

you know what’s insane though. mtz parodies basically every popular piece of sci-fi media in existence and yet there is not a Single red dwarf reference in here. if any of the cast had watched red dwarf there WOULD be a reference somewhere. But there isn’t. these guys don’t know they remade a british sitcom in podcast format. They don’t know how many hysterical episode premises they missed out on

[hopelesshawks]

We already talked about this in dms but like👀 Keigo and a female reader that he thinks is just all cute and shit. But nah she’s actually one of the best dancers in japan and specializes in badass and sexy dances

I went down such a rabbit hole picking out the choreo for this for zero reason 💀💀💀 but man am I here for it. For those curious what I pictured writing this it’s this dance at time code 7:27 choreography is by Jojo Gomez

It’s an 18+ one y’all, minors dni. Warnings for dom/sub dynamics, mention of reader having a vagina, fingering, hand jobs, light edging, light nipple play, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, minor praise kink

“So when are you finally gonna seal the deal with (y/n)?” Mirko asks Hawks one day as they walk their usual patrol route. It’s a quiet day and quiet days always made Mirko more likely to pry. “Seal the deal?” Hawks asks. “Y’know... Do the devil’s tango? Make the beast of two backs? Teach her the birds and the bees?” Mirko teases, wiggling her eyebrows and crowding into his personal space. Hawks rolls his eyes hard and shoves her out of his space, not that it deters her. “It’s not like that,” he tells his nosy friend but she just scoffs in response. “Don’t play like you don’t want to get all up on her, Hawks. You go to that cafe she works at every night after your shift and I’m pretty sure you don’t even like coffee,” Mirko points out. “I like coffee,” Hawks retorts mulishly. “No you don’t.” “Drop it Mirko.” “Oh c’mon! It’ll be easier if you just admit it.” “Fine! She’s adorable, you happy?” Hawks finally huffs, red tinting his cheeks. There’s a beat of silence before Mirko responds but it’s not quite the response Hawks is expecting. “Wait you think (y/n)... is adorable?” Mirko asks. “What do you mean? She is!” Hawks replies defensively. “Relax tough guy, adorable just isn’t the word I’d use to describe her,” Mirko shrugs. “How else would you describe her? She always seems kinda sleepy on her shift and she wears those big oversized sweatshirts,” Hawks elaborates but Mirko continues to look confused by his assessment of you. “Have you never seen her dance before?” Mirko finally asks. “She dances?” Hawks responds.

In Hawks’ personal opinion, Mirko’s reaction is over dramatic. She had stopped in her tracks and stared at him as if he’d sprouted a third head or announced an early retirement. “What?” he asks, even more defensive than before. Mirko heaves a sigh as if Hawks’ ignorance is her greatest source of disappointment. “I forget sometimes you live under a rock, Jesus Christ. We really do need to talk about you getting out more for things other than work and creeping on the sexy dancer barista you have a crush on. Why do you think she’s so tired every shift?” Mirko asks in disbelief. “She’s a student isn’t she? I assumed school stuff!” “You really are hopeless.” “Hey!” “She has rehearsal before her shift dummy, she’s tired from practicing.” “How do you know so much about it huh?” “Well for starters her group has literally won competitions so jot that down. And two we follow each other on Twitter.” “Why do I even ask you things?” Hawks laments. “Shut up, I have an idea,” Mirko suddenly grins. “Oh god, what the fuck are you planning now?” Hawks groans. “I think we should pay (y/n) a little visit during rehearsal, don’t you?”

Hawks follows Mirko through the halls of the university rec center with a growing sense of dread. She looks mischievous and that’s usually a sign that Hawks is going to regret whatever he just signed up for. After they round a final corner, Hawks can clearly hear music coming out of a room down the hall labeled rehearsal room B. Hawks and Mirko push through the door right as the song stops and immediately Hawks realizes that this was a mistake. Gone is your oversized hoodie, instead you’re in just a pair of sweats and a sports bra, covered in sweat and chest still heaving from whatever dance you and the two other girls with you had just done. Hawks should’ve just ignored Mirko and waited to look up one of your dances on YouTube in the privacy of his own apartment. “Hey (y/n)!” Mirko calls out cheerily even as Hawks mentally curses her out for dragging him here. Your gaze snaps over to the two of them and immediately you break out into a wide grin, the same one Hawks had been fawning over as cute and precious for the past several weeks. “What are you two doing here?” you ask as your friends grab water. “We were in the neighborhood and I remember you mentioning you rehearse around this time so I figured why not swing by?” Mirko replies and god does Hawks hate her right now. “You guys have perfect timing actually, we’re working on something to the song ‘Ride’ by Ciara and it would be really great to get an outside opinion on it. Would you guys mind sticking around to check it out? I promise it’ll be quick the other girls have something right after this,” you ask the two pros, giving your best puppy dog eyes. Hawks wants to politely decline, he’s having enough trouble keeping himself in check as it is thank you very much, but before he can Mirko is already agreeing and he doesn’t have the heart to shut things down when you look so excited. “Ah amazing!! Ok! Just sit at the front of the room and be our audience!” you beam and Hawks is helpless but to comply.

Hawks’ eyes trace over every inch of your body as you start the music and then get into the starting formation of the dance. Hawks can tell the moment you’ve focused in on performing your choreography because your whole demeanor and energy shifts. It’s commanding and confident and very, very sexy. He’s starting to understand Mirko’s reaction to his earlier description of you because the woman he sees before him now? Well adorable doesn’t quite fit the bill anymore. He’s already half hard in his work pants, much to his chagrin. What would the tabloids say if they knew he was getting this aroused in public? It’s not exactly befitting of the number two hero considering he’s supposed to be a role model for future generations. But could anyone blame him? The way you move your body and swing your hips is mesmerizing. At one point you slowly roll your body down to grind your hips to the floor and it’s impossible for Hawks not to imagine you using that same precise control to grind down onto his dick. He tries to focus on the music instead in hopes it will help him calm down but it only takes a second for him to realize the song is painting the very same image he’s trying desperately to clear from his head. He’s almost positive Mirko is smirking beside him but he can’t focus on her, you’ve captured the entirety of his attention.

Then the chorus hits and Hawks is really in trouble. You’re singing along. You’re singing “they love the way I ride it” and making direct fucking eye contact with him while you swing your hips in a slow, sensual grind and how can he not react to that? His wings flare and puff out instinctively, his cheeks going red, and his dick is now fully erect and leaking precum into his boxers. It would be mortifying if he weren’t too focused on your every move to truly remember his surroundings. Eventually the song ends and even though Mirko stands to go compliment you and your friends on a job well done, Hawks stays rooted in place. He doesn’t dare move as his painfully hard cock twitches in his pants. Sweat drips down your neck and god he wants to lick it off you so goddamn bad he barely even notices you saying bye to Mirko and your friends until the door is shutting behind them.

Hawks hasn’t even fully registered that the two of you are now alone in the room before he’s coming up behind you and wrapping an arm around your bare torso. You open your mouth to ask what’s up with him when you suddenly feel his erection against your backside. “Tell me you don’t want this or I won’t be able to stop,” he all but growls against the shell of your ear. “What if I do want it though?” you ask breathlessly as you shamelessly grind your ass back against his throbbing dick. The moan that crawls its way out of his throat in response is guttural, he genuinely can’t think of a time he’s ever been more turned on in his life as he wastes no time spinning you around to face him and pressing you up against the wall. “You knew what you were doing didn’t you?” he asks before dropping his nose down to run along your jaw. You shudder as he licks a long stripe up your neck, delighting in the salty taste of your sweat. “Maybe?” you hedge at first but then he bites the column of your throat hard enough you’re sure it’ll leave a mark and you can’t help but whimper. He draws back to look you in the eye, his pupils blown so wide they’ve almost completely consumed his golden irises. “Don’t lie to me little dove,” he warns. “I may have gone a little harder than usual because you were watching me,” you admit and it’s apparently the right answer as Hawks all but chirps his satisfaction before leaning down to press a bruising kiss to your lips that has you melting. One of his hands slides up to grasp and squeeze one of your breasts but even that is not enough for him and in the next moment one of his feathers glides in to swiftly cut your sports bra off entirely. You’re about to protest but the words die in your throat as Hawks starts pinching and twisting one of your nipples. “Does that feel good little dove?” he asks and all you can do is let your head fall back against the wall and nod your approval.

Hawks takes advantage of your head’s position to resume leaving marks on your exposed neck as his free hand snakes its way into your sweatpants and panties. As his fingers finally reach your dripping sex you feel him moan against the sensitive skin of your throat. “You’re so wet for me already,” he notes as he slowly slides a finger inside of you. “Want you, need you,” is all you can keen as he drags his one finger torturously slowly inside of you. “Want me that bad love?” Hawks teases and your answering nod is almost frantic as he inserts another finger and takes careful note of the way you squirm. “Use your words,” he commands. “I want you so bad Hawks please,” you beg but even as he uses his thumb to lightly brush against your sensitive clit he still doesn’t budge. “I don’t know, you were so naughty teasing me so much in front of Mirko and your friends. Do you understand how turned on I was?” he asks but you can only whimper in response. You jerk your hips forward in desperate search of more friction or movement or something but all that accomplishes is Hawks using the hand not currently buried inside you to hold your hips still. “I want you to feel how turned on your little show made me little dove. Can you do that?” he asks. “Y-yes,” you moan before obediently reaching one hand out to feel his hardened length through his pants. God he’s so big, and it only emphasizes to you how much you want him inside you. “Not gonna get much done from there, little dove, don’t be shy. I want you to feel me, feel the cock you’re so fucking desperate for,” he growls, slowly dragging his fingers in and out of you to emphasize his point. It’s so good but it’s not nearly enough so you fumble with the belt and button of his pants until finally, finally you can slip your hand past the waistband and into his boxers to grasp firm hold of his weeping cock.

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to find a devastating rhythm, your hands moving in sync to drive both of you towards your respective climaxes. Your moans echo around the small practice room and it’s music to Hawks’ ears. You’re close, so close, right on the precipice of orgasm when suddenly Hawks is leaning in to whisper into your ear a simple command: “Stop.” His hand stops moving and then he slowly extracts his fingers from inside you. You whine at the loss, pussy desperately clenching around nothing but you obediently stop your hand's movement. "Don't look so disappointed, I thought you wanted my dick," Hawks teases. "I do, fuck, I do," you groan. "Be specific. What do you want?" "I want your dick inside me, please Hawks I'm begging, I want it so bad," you whine. What a pretty sight you make squirming and whining for him. Hawks thinks he could watch you like this forever but even he is starting to get impatient so he decides to finally give you what you want. He shoves his own pants and boxers down low enough for his dick to spring out of its confines, the head flushed red and glistening with precum. Meanwhile his feathers push down your own sweatpants and panties as you watch him with half-lidded eyes, eager to finally feel his hardened length inside you. He has you wrap your arms around his shoulders and places his hands on your waist. "Hop up pretty girl," he commands and you eagerly obey, allowing him to lift you and then wrapping your legs around his waist to further support you weight. "Ready?" he asks. "God, yes Hawks please," you groan as he lines himself up with your waiting entrance. Hawks complies with an almost feral grin, wasting no time in shoving himself fully inside you. You groan as his thick length stretches you open but the slight burn feels so good as he fills you up. "You're doing so good for me, baby. So good," he praises and you practically purr your satisfaction. "P-please. Move," you moan and Hawks doesn't need to be told twice as he begins fucking into you in earnest. All words are lost between the two of you, the only language you need being the moans, groans, whimpers, and whines the two of you pull out of each other. As he drills into you harder and harder you rapidly feel yourself once again approaching climax. "Hawks I'm gonna-" you start but he cuts you off. "Me too baby, hold out a little longer and we'll cum together ok?" he ask. "Ok," you whimper, trying so hard to be good for him. Just a few long deep strokes later he finally gives you permission to cum and almost immediately you cry out his name, clenching and squeezing around him as he tumbles into his own climax. His groan is long and low as he spills his seed inside you and you relish each and every moment of it.

As the two of you finally come down from your highs Hawks carefully sets you back down on the ground. "Shit," he swears. "You can say that again," you laugh breathlessly. "Maybe I should invite you to more rehearsals from now on," you joke. "I'd much rather you give me a private show at my place," he replies easily. "I think I can make that work." "Good." "When would you like your first performance?" "How about now? You were just bragging about how much 'they' like it when you ride it. Time to put your money where your mouth is." "I'd like nothing more."

[bxllafanficc]

What lies within our voice

Part one.

Summary: The hottest current singing competition in your country; Beyond The Voice, is taking contestants for this years new season. And you’re competing, something you’ve dreamed of since you were a little kid. Your best friend Natasha joins you on your audition day with the assurance that everything’s going to go just as planned. As in; you preform, get all the standing ovations from the jury and then you go out to celebrate. But it doesn’t quite work like that, does it? Especially not when a handsome blue eyed singer with angelic pipes (and dare I say, jackass?) enters the competition and gives you some serious problems; both on a competitive and on a personal level.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: implied smut, smut later on as the story progresses, Bucky’s kind of a prick at first glance, Natasha being cringeworthy,

Anyone will have to believe you when you say that you’re meant for this.

“Girl, you’re going to kill this! You’re the best singer here. The judges will find you irresistible!”

The stage and the cheer of a crowd is where you feel at home. Like you could do anything you put your mind to. If you only got the chance to show the world what you got to offer. That you belong on stage, to please a crowd.

That’s why you’re here. At the large entrance hall of the largest arena in your country, ready to perform your heart out at this years season of the hottest contest currently in the making; Beyond The Voice. The competition that will be your awakening as the artist you’ve dreamed to be for so long. Because already as a little girl, you used to sit in front of the tv with your best friend since diapers; Natasha. And oh, how you loved B.T.V. From the first season ever all the way to where you’re standing now. Here, ready to be a part of something you’ve set as a goal since years back. And so you have come here and along with you, brought your best friend so that you can live the dream together now all grown up.

“I have a hard time believing that, Nat. There are so many talented and attractive people here who want this too. And I don’t doubt for a second that there will be a lot of people putting on their best efforts here tonight.”

You scan the large groups of people in the hall, some pacing around nervously, others sitting down on benches and some awkwardly attempting to put on their best sides of themselves as the camera team sneaks through the crowds to shoot some interviews with the contestants.

The camera team has already been filming their interview with you, and if you should say it yourself, you had done the best possible out of the situation. To be yourself. No faces and no strained jokes, just plain you, unlike some of the other contestants you had seen earlier who seemingly failed to acknowledge the fabric of their shirt hiding their cleavage noticeably sliding down their shoulders until the producers felt the urge to cut because they ‘would need to censor that out’ somehow.

“Puh-lease! No one wants this as much as you do. And sure, there may be great singers here today, but no one has the pure and raw talent like you. Most of the people we’ve seen so far is clearly showing in their voices that they’ve taken dozens of singing lessons, and some not at all. Everyone here started out as a rookie but not you. You were born with it. I can confirm since I’ve known you so long. See, the only other people here skilled enough to put you up for a challenge is that guy performing for the jury right now. Look! He’s like the hunkier more brooding version of Josh Groban!”

You look towards the big screen displaying everything that’s going on in the auditions room. Right now there’s a guy in a deep blue suit performing “Being alive” originally sung by Stephen Sondheim from the musical Company; a classic and and a regularity when it comes to audition songs. Not a choice you would’ve gone with because of everyone before this man who’s chosen the song on previous seasons of Behind The Voice. But maybe his choice might just make this performance a success. That voice is unlike any other contestant you’ve seen today and those blue eyes are definitely moneymakers on their own. A handsome man to be sure, Nat wasn’t joking around with her comparison. And the look on the female judges faces reveals that the sexy mysterious persona he’s putting on is working its magic on them.

“Make me confused, mock me with praise. Let me be used, vary me days.”

“Goodness, that vibrato is to die for! There’s no effort displayed on his face what so ever and completely free from strained vocals or any muffled sounds from accidentally switching back to using his nose as support!”

“Right?! Maybe he’s good enough for my best gal right here? Why don’t you give it a try?” Nat elbows you and makes a rather inappropriate finger motion with her hands as her eyebrow raises and sinks in a provocative manner.

You quickly squeal with disapproval at her and slap her hands away, afraid that someone in the hall, or worse, the camera crew, had caught her little message.

“You know I’m too busy with focusing on my career for that kind of stuff. And he’s most likely to be my most skilled rival so far!”

“Somebody crowd me with love, somebody force me to care. Somebody let me come through, I’ll always be there, as frightened as you, to help us survive...”

The song finishes and the crowd in the hall is overwhelming with cheers and blowing whistles. It’s four yes out of four possible from the jury; a crystal clear win.

The man who just performed and the jury can clearly hear the crowd’s chanting from inside the studio, because everyone is glancing at the door with a low snicker.

“Next up, contestant #70!” One of the managers shouts from an opened door in the hall.

Your number is #71, which means your up after the shocked young girl beside you who were too caught up in the man singing just now that she completely forgot to prepare herself.

You stand up as well and make your way towards the door leading into the corridors of the audition’s studio, just to prepare yourself a little extra. Nat follows along and whispers encouraging nothings into your ear. She pats your shoulder and bumps into your crimson colored les paul hanging strapped inside its case on your back.

Right, you failed to mention your own audition song in the interview (and the genre you’ll be singing.)

You like to label yourself as a rock singer who also plays the electric guitar in the songs you perform. So you’ve carefully chosen the song “Anastasia” made by Slash, Myles Kennedy and The Conspirators. You’ve requested the assigned go-to band for this song because it simply can’t be done by just a guitar and a voice. Your song of choice is also going to give the judges the full feeling of how a concert later on with you as their star would look like. The vocals are great, showing off a lot of control but not too complicated so there’s room enough to blow the crowd and judge’s minds later on in the competition. The guitar isn’t essential for a singing competition like this but to aggregate with playing the guitar and singing at the time always gain some extra points since the judges will understand that your multitasking abilities will come in handy if and when a casual error or scene malfunction occurs in the life as an artist.

Of course you sing other genres as expected from you in this competition, but rock will forever be your go-to genre if you’re out to bedazzle the crowd or just want to dance your heart out in the living room (aggressive head banging is included).

But in your current situation, you had been so caught up in your own plans and preparation that you failed to acknowledge the man standing in front of you until it’s too late and you bump into something broad and rock hard.

The stranger gets pushed forwards and his friend catches him before he tumbles too far. A pair of blue eyes turns around to glare at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m so sorry! I was just-“ You stop and silence yourself. It’s the previous contestant with the angelic voice; and he does not look pleased.

“Shouldn’t a person competing in such a high prestige competition be aware of their surroundings always and watch where they’re going?” The man speaks up and turns to face you entirely, his blonde friend standing right beside him. Nat comes to join your side when she senses the tension going on.

“I... excuse me, I was just so caught up in my on thoughts that I didn’t notice you. People make mistakes and I’m sorry. It’s not that big of a deal.”

You fold your arms and try to flash a genuine smile at the stranger but he doesn’t seem affected by your words.

“So you’re a little self absorbed, you say? That’s not a personality trait I would go with in a competitive area like this but you do you, I guess.”

Is this man for real? He seemed like such a genuine and open guy when he sang but now when he’s in front of you, he’s just an asshole. Guess that’s what they call on point stage presence then.

“Hey now handsome, Aren’t you being a little rude to my friend? It was actually nothing more than a simple mistake. There’s nothing to feel personal about if your feelings got hurt. Happens to anybody.” Nat joins in and defends you, but she’s not paying attention to the blue eyed prick in front of her, but she’s eying the tall blondie beside him with careful eyes.

“Yeah, whatever.” The man answers with a huff and leaves, his friend following right behind him. As you watch them go, Blondie seemingly scolds his friend about something, though you never catch the response of your now-rival.

“Well that’s a waste. A beautiful brunette with magical eyes but on the inside he’s just a bastard with low-dick-energy.” Nat mumbles and snorts, pushing you towards the corridors you originally planned to make your way to. You giggle in response and bite your lip.

“With an attitude like that to a lady, he couldn’t possibly afford having a small dick, Nat. It must be pretty huge if it’s gonna make up for his frame of mind.”

Well, at least it’s not a must to befriend the other contestants, because then you would be forced into some kind of team building exercise with Mr. Jackass. The last thing you needed right now was excessive negativity in your life.

“Yeah, you go (Y/n)! Dab on them haters!” Nat yells and proceeds to do the dabbing motion with a cheerful expression.

The crowds standing near the two of you suddenly fall silent and eyes you with a judgements stare.

“Don’t you ever do that in public again or I will-“

“Contestant #71, you’re up!

The crowd stops glaring at you and shifts to clap their hands with encouragement, some even shouts stuff like ‘You can do this!’ Or ‘Go inside and kick some ass!’

You’re heart immediately takes two turns and beats like crazy in your chest; something it always does right before when you’re about to preform. Much to your gratitude, it always rolls off of you like a waterfall the second you start to sing.

‘This is your chance, (Y/n). You have to prove to everyone in the hall, to Nat, to yourself, to Jackass Ocean eyes, and most importantly the judges, that you’ve earned your right to be on this program and on television. Tonight we focus on getting the judges’ approval, tomorrow, a new goal will be set.’ The internal speech you go through with yourself echoes through your eardrums as you step into the audition’s studio and into the camera’s view.

[siribear]

the brotherhood, apparently, doesn’t have the resources to pick them up. even when the new trio makes it back to greentop nursery, they’re told to make most of the journey back to the airport, and they’ll be picked up once they get closer. danse is understanding, as is brandis; whisper feels like they’d have been picked up as far out as the bunker if she wasn’t part of the group.

we don’t abandon our own. whisper runs her hands through her hair with a sigh. just a few more days, then. if elder maxson wants to be petty, so be it.

-

danse and whisper take turns watching over brandis even in the safety of the nursery. the older paladin stirs and talks in his sleep. sometimes he wakes in a panic, and it’s then that they have to calm him. their progress is slower on their way toward the city, but brandis does his best to keep up. halfway back, danse has to change out his fusion core when his gait slows to a crawl and his armor stalls in the middle of a field. whisper changes it out for him, struggling with the removal until brandis lends a hand. with a grunt, he turns the latch handle, warped from their skirmish at the satellite array, and together they remove the fusion core.

‘thanks,’ she says, standing on her toes to insert the new fusion core.

brandis hums in acknowledgement. ‘astlin was about your height,’ he muses, a smile twisting his beard. ‘she had trouble with this too.’

the fusion core clicks into place, power humming through the suit once more. ‘i’m sorry it took so long to find any of you.’ maybe if she had followed the distress signal when she found it, if she hadn’t held onto it for leverage -

brandis holds up the collection of holotags. ‘but you found me. and them. and as long as i live, i will not forget them.’

whisper twists her wedding ring, sighing as her thoughts go to its partner tucked away in her bag. and her partner tucked away in the depths of vault 111. ‘i know how you feel.’

‘we’ll be at the airport soon if we keep up our pace,’ danse says, slowly. ‘thank you for the assistance, alice. we should get moving.’

-

there is no welcoming party for them at the airport, just the familiar noise of soldiers moving supplies and working machinery. a few of the idling knights recognize them as they walk across the ruined tarmac. danse signals to one, who radios up to the prydwen, and they don’t have to wait long for a vertibird to descend from the airship. danse and brandis stand at attention as elder maxson steps down to approach them. whisper crosses her arms.

‘the brotherhood is glad to have you back, paladin brandis. paladin danse,’ he greets the two members. ‘general,’ he adds.

‘elder.’ she looks over his shoulder, into the vertibird. no power armor. she holds back a sigh. a waste.

‘paladin danse, if you’ll escort paladin brandis up to knight captain cade for a full evaluation. he’s expecting you. also, you’ll find the general’s... reward,’ - there’s a notable, if questionable, pause - ‘has been set aside. bring it down once you’re done.’ maxson stands aside. ‘i’d like to talk to you,’ he says, to her, ‘in the meantime.’

brandis shakes her hand and departs with a sincere, ‘thank you.’

‘now,’ maxson says, after the two have left. ‘follow me.’ she does, to a more secluded area of the airport, away from lingering soldiers. ‘i apologize for being curt with you, but i admit i had my doubts, even now. but one moment after another, you’ve proven yourself, alice.’

‘thank you,’ she says, carefully. he’s leading up to something. wants something. ‘didn’t want your subordinates to hear you praising a minuteman?’

he bows his head, his eyes harder when he looks back to her. ‘no. but that is what i wanted to talk to you about: your being a minuteman. their general.’

‘and what of it?’

‘how much have you been able to do with them?’ he interrupts her before she can respond. ‘not for them. what have the minutemen been able to do for you, alice? remember, you had to come to us for help.’

she scoffs. ‘and i had to help you, so get to the point.’

‘fine. join the brotherhood. paladin danse told me you turned us down before, but i’m offering again. leave the minutemen and join us. together, we can find your son and take down the institute, much quicker than you can with the minutemen.’

whisper frowns. ‘those are my people, elder maxson. i can’t leave them any more than you could leave the brotherhood.’

‘i see. then we’ll leave our truce as it is, though my offer stands.’ the sound of a vertibird draws their attention: danse in a different suit of power armor. ‘paladin danse will have your armor, as you asked. good luck, general.’

-

whisper removes the fusion core from the brotherhood power armor. the moment she entered the armor, an alert appeared on the display inside her helmet: a warning for the fuel level in the fusion core. ‘did i get someone’s old, used fusion core?’

danse winces. ‘it’ll last until you return to the castle.’ there’s an unspoken, understood maybe.

she bites back a growl. the fusion core back in sanctuary might get her out to the glowing sea, but back? ‘the quartermaster - ’

‘isn’t allowed to sell one to anyone outside the brotherhood.’

well, shit. maxson’s slight for not joining them. or maybe it’s her punishment for working with them at all. the railroad - she’ll go to the railroad, instead. tinker tom has to have a spare fusion core lying around -

danse’s hand on her arm stops her before she can climb back into the armor. ‘here. i noticed the alert, so i bought a few replacements. these should last you through the glowing sea.’ he pulls a pair of fusion cores from a bag on the ground and passes them to her.

‘i - won’t elder maxson be upset? obviously he didn’t want to give me any more supplies than he had to.’

danse shrugs, surprisingly cavalier about going against the elder. ‘it’s in our best interest that you make it to the glowing sea, isn’t it? this shouldn’t be an issue.’

the fusion cores fit into her bag, tucked in next to her other supplies and random salvage. ‘thank you.’ whisper places a hand on his cheek. with a soft kiss to his other cheek, she says, ‘you’re a good man, danse. if only you were a minuteman.’

-

whisper listens to the radio, hooked up to the internal speakers of the power armor from her pipboy, as travis reports on her past week’s exploits. with his own twist, of course, praising the her for continuing to expand the minutemen in the same breath he worries about her working for the brotherhood. and worrying, of course, that they’re all going to die before quickly switching to the wanderer.

in another life, she caught nate singing along to the song on the radio in the late morning. in another life, he kissed her and made her dance with him until the end. the kitchen had smelled like burnt eggs the rest of that morning. whisper hums along.

the old, familiar songs carry her back to the road before the castle, until the fuel warnings blaring in her ears drown out the music. though she mutes the alarm, bright red text still flashes in the corner of her vision. a few of the minutemen clearing debris from the neighborhood pause to look at her, some even following behind. another runs ahead of her, ducking through the castle’s repaired doors.

one if by land - a brotherhood soldier approaches the castle.

preston emerges, flanked by two other minutemen. whisper doesn’t halt her approach, instead removing her helmet as she gets closer. ‘running on fumes,’ she explains. the two minutemen part the way for her. preston falls into step beside her. ‘i want to park this thing inside.’

preston nods. ‘let sturges know,’ he says to one of the minutemen. ‘welcome home, general.’

home. ‘thank you, pres-’ the armor refuses to take another step, just in front of radio freedom. she sighs and wonders again if maxson planned this all out. ‘thank you.’

‘still not used to that armor, huh, boss?’ sturges teases as she wobbles, stepping down from the armor. ‘how’re you gonna make it across the sea like that?’

she huffs. ‘just have to learn how to swim. i have another project for you, though.’

‘anything you need.’

she raps a knuckle against a metal arm. ‘how good are you at painting?’

sturges smiles, lopsided and pleased. ‘preston told us we might be needing some. managed to find some cans in garages down the road.’ whisper tells him to start in the morning, and he dismisses himself with a lazy salute.

‘you’re sure this is a good idea?’ preston asks. he steps around the armor to stand in front of her.

‘it’s only a new coat of paint, preston.’

‘i don’t mean that, though i can’t say i like having anything with the brotherhood insignia here. i mean going to the glowing sea. nothing survives out there.’

the sun begins to set on the water, turning it bright orange. ‘an institute scientist did.’

he groans. ‘let me come with you, then. i can’t let you go out there alone.’

'hey,’ she begins, softly, exhaustion beginning to set in. she wants to sleep. to rest somewhere she knows is safe. maybe that’s home. ‘you don’t have to mother hen me, preston. i can take care of myself.’

he sighs, his shoulders sagging in defeat. ‘i know. but if there’s anything i can do...’

‘keep this place from blowing up for a few hours so i can sleep?’ she offers.

when he laughs, it’s genuine. ‘i think i can manage that. good night, general.’

-

if deacon has planned his arrival correctly, whisper should have returned to the castle just the day before. and he has planned it correctly. his contacts have been keeping him appraised of any new changes in the commonwealth in the past few weeks, and two things have stuck out: minutemen territory has expanded further east, and a mismatched squad of brotherhood soldiers was seen returning to the airport. basically, his partner has been busy. and if the lone power armor tracks heading up through the castle’s neighborhood tell him anything, it’s that she was successful.

not that he’s surprised. he follows her for a reason, and it’s because she’s efficient. that’s all.

or so he would have told himself before. even if whatever happened between them in goodneighbor was a fluke, he can’t say he doesn’t enjoy traveling with her just to travel with her. he believes in her, in what she’s doing. what she wants to do.

he sighs to himself. getting old, deacon. lost in his own thoughts, he finds he’s wandered halfway down the newly built up neighborhood. little shops and homes have started popping up. skeletons of pre-war buildings housing whisper’s future. it’s a testament to her that he even feels safe enough to walk openly down this road without fear of being ambushed.

one minuteman makes to approach him, gun at the ready, before another stops him. the other deacon recognizes as one of the minutemen that helped them take the castle. guess he does take breaks from manning the radio. he catches the tail end of ‘- he’s with the general‘ before he completely passes them. he absolutely doesn’t puff out his chest in response.

nah.

inside the castle, there’s some bustle. an older woman he doesn’t recognize orders around a group of minutemen, each one looking more green than the woman’s army fatigues. ah, fresh recruits. it’s almost adorable how hard they try not to poke each other’s eyes out with their laser rifles. just opposite them, a guy in dirty overalls surrounds himself with scrap metal as he works on a gun bigger than he is tall. deacon looks up the walls of the castle, to another minuteman standing in front of another huge gun, this one operational. goddamn. no one mentioned the minutemen managed to arm themselves with artillery.

he’d be worried if across the courtyard wasn’t his favorite person, overseeing a project of her own. she leans in close to garvey, points across the way and gestures; preston moves closer to listen over the din and nods at whatever she’s saying. deacon might have been delirious with fever at the time, but he remembers what he inadvertently interrupted in the rain. thankfully, everyone’s too preoccupied to notice deacon walk faster.

‘i told you,’ deacon hears her say. ‘that shade of blue looks so much better. we need to make that part of our uniform. create some unity here instead of...’

‘old colonial jackets and army uniforms?’ preston finishes for her.

‘exactly. maybe even just a patch so we can recognize each other.’

‘i’ll do what i can.’

she beams at him in a way only a wife who’s gotten her way can. deacon steps up next to her, puts an arm on her shoulder and leans. whisper shifts immediately to take his weight.

‘howdy, partner.’ he tips the brim of her new, overly sized hat. he definitely doesn’t remember her having that before. ‘preston.’ preston nods in acknowledgement before turning his attention away.

‘deacon,’ she returns, still smiling. ‘welcome back.’

‘and yourself. congratulations on surviving the brotherhood.’ he stands up straight, removing his weight from her shoulder, but still finds himself leaning into her. ‘how’d you manage to swing that?’ he asks, gesturing toward the power armor currently getting a minuteman makeover.

‘i asked nicely, of course.’

deacon raises an eyebrow. ‘asking nicely took you two weeks across the commonwealth?’

there’s that grin, wicked and knowing. because he shouldn’t know that she went so far, but he does. ‘preston, if you’ll excuse us,’ is all she says before half-dragging deacon back into the secluded corridors of the castle. ‘what happened to not going back to your stalking days, hm?’

‘can i help it if travis makes it easy to follow you? anyone paying attention can read between the lines.’

she exhales heavily. ‘i see. and - what are you wearing?’

took her long enough to notice. maybe two weeks without him put her out of practice. ‘this old thing? tom had it just laying around.’ he picks at the sleeve of his hazmat suit, dug out of, indeed, tom’s stash. the genius was almost unwilling to part with it - ‘it blocks radiation in the air and the institute’s brain control waves!’ - until deacon mentioned he needed it to assist whisper. and once desdemona heard that? it was as good as his.

‘oh,’ she says quietly. ‘so you are coming with me?’ said soft enough to break his heart.

‘like i said,’ he half-turns, looking out into the courtyard, because even behind his sunglasses he’s afraid he might give too much away. ‘i’m with you.’

[huangels]

nct reaction to your old self-harm scars

request: Hi! I know this is kind of a touchy subject, but I figured it was worth a shot anyways. TW!! Can you do a NCT reaction to finding old self harm scars? Like noting present, but more of a part, hard, time. Just to show more of a reasuring kind of side that no matter what has happened in the past, everything will be okay. Life hasn't been that great, and I would love to read some "encouraging words" from our NCT babes. Again, I understand if you do not want to work this. Thank you anyways!

a/n: i’m choosing to write this to maybe help others out there who need encouragement or reassurance (?) i’ve also tried to make this reaction gender neutral in hopes of helping more people ? i’m sorry if this is a touchy subject but i put a warning for those who do not want to proceed! (i’m so bad at writing like mushy gushy stuff idk what to call it so i hope this isn’t TOO cringy…)

warnings: old self-harm scars !

˗ˏˋ TAEYONG ˎˊ˗

Taeyong runs a light hand over the horizontal bumps on your skin. His eyebrows are stitched together and his eyes are a pool of sorrow. He blinks it away after a moment, holding onto both of your hands now. Instead of the sadness in his eyes from when he first encountered your old scars, the beautiful dark orbs are now filled with overflowing love and affection. It gleams with incoming tears that slightly pool on his waterline. Taeyong pulls you close, it warms you up, putting a bright smile on your face.

"Whatever the reasons for these are, just know that I'm here for you. Battling your insecurities is tough, but you have me and I love you so much that I'll battle them with you."

˗ˏˋ TAEIL ˎˊ˗

Taeil's lower lip juts out into a pouty as he catches a glance at your old scars. His heart churns and races frantically, head exploding from all of the thoughts surrounding his head. Taeil wraps his arms around your body, resting his chin on your shoulders. His hand travels up and down your spine soothingly, as he whispers encouragement softly into your ear, words drowning in love and passion.

"Your scars are now a part of you and that's perfectly okay. But I'm worried if anything like this happens again, please come talk to me first, okay?"

˗ˏˋ JOHNNY ˎˊ˗

A small smile flashes upon Johnny's face. His large hands ghost over your scars, warmth radiating from his fingertips. And when you confessed your dark past, Johnny only comforted you with affectionate words that make you glad you're doing good now. You don't leave his arms for the rest of the day as he sprinkles kisses all over your face when you least expect it, causing you to break out in a fit of light giggles.  

"You don't have to hide them, don't worry. I still love you just as much, maybe even more. The past is the past, just focus on making a brighter future."

˗ˏˋ KUN ˎˊ˗

Kun reaches to wipe the stray tear that managed to escape your eye, fingers gentle over your skin. You lean into his warm hand as he rests it under your ear, thumb caressing the apples of your cheek. His other hand makes its way to your waist, pulling you into his embrace. The affectionate words that leave his mouth act as an energy booster, shooting straight to your heart, making it race in endless circles.

"I love you endlessly no matter what. I love your brave heart, your strong mind, your heroic scars. I love you, and these scars are a part of you, which means I love them too."

˗ˏˋ DOYOUNG ˎˊ˗

Doyoung grabs your hand, planting a kiss on the palm. It's warm and soft against your hand. His eyes never leave yours as his arms wrap around your frame, engulfing you in his love. The twinkle in his eyes causing you to melt on the stop, as he stares lovingly at you. Doyoung peppers your head with kisses, not missing one spot.

"Don't hide them. They're reminders of the dark times that you bravely fought your way out of."

˗ˏˋ YUTA ˎˊ˗

Both of Yuta's hands encircle around your smaller ones, it immediately stops them from shaking. He connects his eyes with you as he pours out his thoughts, just as you did earlier about your scars and the stories behind them. His thumb massages the crevasses of your hands, face stretched from the brightest and proudest smile you can ever imagine. His radiant smile alone has the powers to heal your internal wounds.

"You are so strong and empowering for overcoming your differences, but you don't have to worry anymore, I'll protect you now."

˗ˏˋ TEN ˎˊ˗

Ten's thin, long fingers trace swirly patterns over the bumps of your old scars. His light touch is comforting, calming down your rushing heart. The tears that left your eyes have dried as Ten mentions over and over again how beautiful and magnificent you are. You can't help but smile as he envelopes you into his arms.

"It's okay, flaws are beautiful too. You've faced your inner demons and defeated them, those scars are reminders of that."  

˗ˏˋ JAEHYUN ˎˊ˗

The tears fight through as they come pouring out of your eyes, you start to hiccup as you've gained enough courage to share your story. Jaehyun's large hands have never left yours since the beginning to the end of the story. They draw circles over the back of your hand, smoothing out any worries. He stays quiet for you to gain your posture before comforting you with supportive words.

"I wish I could have been there for you then, but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. We're in this together!"

˗ˏˋ WINWIN ˎˊ˗

Winwin's arm lap over your shoulders, pulling you in as his chin rests over your head. You lean closer into his embrace and take in the soothing scent of his cologne. He hums softly into your hair, a Chinese ballad song he always sings, and as if a spell, you automatically melt in his arms. Your shoulders release from their tensed-up position and a genuine smile reappears on your face.

"You were determined and you overcame your self-difficulties. I hope you won't ever have a reason to do it again though. I'll make sure of it!"

˗ˏˋ JUNGWOO ˎˊ˗

Jungwoo's head rests on your chest, listening to your heartbeat slow down from its previous racing pace. The more you talk, the more you got comfortable with sharing your past stories, and the more kisses Jungwoo plants onto your skin. Each spot warms up, causing your heart to expand larger. It physically aches with all if the love Jungwoo is giving, but in a good way, as your face stretches into a soft smile that matches Jungwoo's.

"For every scar, you shall receive a kiss in return because to me, they tell stories of a brave fighter who never gave up on themselves."

˗ˏˋ LUCAS ˎˊ˗

Lucas's eyebrows stitch together, his eyes glassy from your stories. He looks more emotional than you do and feel, so you grab his hands and reassure him that you're all better now, that you're living happily with his presence. The worry painted on his face is now replaced with a goofy smile that stretched the more he looks at you.

"How are you feeling now? If you want to talk about it, I'm always by your side. And I won't let anything change that."

˗ˏˋ MARK ˎˊ˗

Mark's eyes warm up as they look into yours, puffy and red. A small smile forms on his lips as he tugs on your arm. You stumble forward into his open arms and they automatically close in on your frame. Mark places butterfly kisses on your forehead, then down your nose to each side of your cheeks and finally your lips.

"Don't hate your scars, love them because they prove that you are stronger than you think."

˗ˏˋ RENJUN ˎˊ˗

Renjun's eyebrows knit together as words of disgust and regret leave your lips, all pertaining to your old scars. His hands dart for yours, holding them close to his chest. His heartbeat is as sporadic as yours, you wonder why until Renjun tells you that the way you talk down about yourself makes his heart hurt. You soften at his words, engulfing him into a long hug as he continues to praise you and your scars with supportive comments.

"They're battle scars and the fact that you're here with me means that you won the war, and I'm proud. I love you and everything about you, including your scars."

˗ˏˋ JENO ˎˊ˗

With you on Jeno's lap, he leans his head to rest it on your shoulders, tuning in to every word that leaves your mouth. His heart churns at the fact that you've felt this way before, heartstrings breaking. But the smile that you share when concluding your story with a happy ending that has involved him, he can't help but share that smile. His eyes disappear into crescents as his cheeks bunch up at the tip of his face.

"You've been through a lot, I can't even imagine it, but it's all in the past. And what's important is that you're here with me."

˗ˏˋ HAECHAN ˎˊ˗

The park is deserted, everyone else presumably at home having dinner. Haechan and you sit on the grass alone by the large lake overlooking the sunset for what seems like hours just talking. You pick at the grass as you continue on with your stories about your dark past, not meeting Haechan's eyes. He calls your name, it echoes into the open air. You turn to capture his appearance, the sun rays kissed upon his rich skin, eyes glistening like the water in front of you, and a soft smile planted on his lips. He speaks after taking in your appearance as you did him, he's breathless.

"Because you're sitting here with me means that you've fought off your inner demons. Even though they may return, you know you can take them on again, I believe in you!"

˗ˏˋ JAEMIN ˎˊ˗

Jaemin's radiant smile never leaves his face as he comforts you, arms wrapped around you defeated figure. Your legs shake uncontrollably, afraid they might give out at any moment, but with the way Jaemin is holding onto you, you know he won't let anything happen to you. Jaemin faces you, eyes gleaming with love, as he sends comforting words that cause you to regain strength in your body.

"It had hurt you and brought you down to your lowest low, but you've survived. Thank you for staying, for fighting."

˗ˏˋ CHENLE ˎˊ˗

Chenle's loud laughter fills the room, as the television displays a comedy show, but your laughs die down. Your thoughts flood around your mind, enclosing you from the world. Chenle notices your sudden change in demeanor and mutes the show to ask you what's wrong. It takes a while before you muster up the courage to share your thoughts and stories. A pout forms on Chenle's lips as he links your arms, making sure you're okay now.

"I'm sad you felt this way, but I hope all the bad thoughts are gone now. Good people go through bad things, but you were wise enough to know when and how to let it go."

˗ˏˋ JISUNG ˎˊ˗

You don't want Jisung to see you like this, broken and weak. You feel too exposed, but Jisung makes effort in calming you down as he wraps his long arms around you. He runs his hands down your hair in a soothing manner, it somehow pacifies your rapid breaths. You are always the one to take care of Jisung, being the big baby he is, but now the role is switched. You're glad that you don't have to act as strong all the time and that Jisung is always there to pick you right back up.

"I hope it doesn't still hurt. But they've faded, everything is going to be okay because you're here to see another day, with me."

[moonaft]

The Winter Long - Reread

Rosemary and Rue

A Local Habitation

An Artificial Night

Late Eclipses

One Salt Sea

Ashes of Honor

Chimes At Midnight

Interlude : Full of Briers

As always, spoilers up to The Brightest Fell and October 2018 for the Patreon stories. No spoilers for Night and Silence, and at this point I think I’ll have finished the entire reread by the time I get my copy. Which is just as well.

First off, ‘the winter long’ is one line after ‘rosemary and rue’. Is the final book going to be ‘Grace and Remembrance’? 

I really like TWL. This was a good book, filled with shifting allies and cameos by my favorite people. It’s probably my favorite after The Brightest Fell and not just because of Simon. 

I am going to ignore the fact that the knowe is called ‘Muir Woods’ even before it was named that in 1908. Maybe? Maybe Arden took up the name really quickly. I can’t find a mention of it by name in Patrick’s first short story and I can’t dig up “In Little Stars” right now to check if it was called Muir Woods back then. Patreon’s search sucks.

Onto the ball! A good ball, in which no one gets poisoned or nearly assassinated and Toby doesn’t commit murder. Yeah, if I was her I also wouldn’t want to go to fancy balls. She takes after Sylvester in that regard. 

Speaking of, hi Sylvester! Hi Li Quin!

Arden has social anxiety and needs more friends than Madden. I am surprised no noble Daoine Sidhe have come a-courting. At least she’ll get Walther and Cassandra to take jobs at court soon. 

I love Arden subtly copying Quentin in table manners. 

Are Raven-maids and -men the opposite of Selkies, born birds and need the feathers to transform?  Jazz takes off her band to turn into a raven. Amandine doesn’t, but presumably her magic can force the transformation regardless. Though Amandine does imply that destroying the band will keep her as a human. 

Yes, it’s time to put everyone to bed. Meanwhile, Toby gets to pull some all nighters.

Hello, Simon.

I love how no one has questioned where he was since Late Eclipses, and that only as a brief mention. He’s the tragic backstory, not meant to show up in the present. Oleander was that too, but now she’s dead and can’t hurt anyone anymore. 

Yeah, she was really not expecting that. Why is it that the bad things only happen to Toby during the books? From the plot summaries, the time between the books is the only time she gets to relax.

Yes, that’s not Sylvester. 

It’s sad how much Toby has internalized him as her personal boogeyman. Dugan, Riordan, Samson, the false Queen could all be fought. It wasn’t easy by any means, but here Toby’s given up without a fight which just doesn’t happen. She’s already determined this is a fight she can’t win. 

I love that the first thing Simon does is praise her. He genuinely does not mean her ill-will.

So Simon has not seen Evening in years prior to TWL and did come to warn Toby about it. Or, turn her into a tree for a hundred years, but to him, that is helping. Evening didn’t send him so he must have gotten word somehow that she was returning. Where was he all those years?

Hello Jazz, you have great timing. Sorry that you are once again attacked in your own home.

Simon didn’t come in limping – Toby turning his spell back against him must have hurt him badly.

Why exactly does Simon have so many transformation spells? Is this his own flower-based transformation or something he got from Evening? It could be his own – he once transformed Patrick’s suit into something more modern and there’s no indication that eventually failed. And why fish? Could he have transformed Patrick into a fish so he and Dianda could spend time together in the Undersea without breathing spells? That would be so cute.

Good job on using your cats to warn Tybalt.

I think even May gets over her feelings by the time of TBF, or at least, she’s willing to let him try so they can save Jazz.

All in all, Simon’s going to get what he wants by the end of this book, namely, Toby’s safety. Sure, he’s elf-shot but so’s Evening. It’s TBF where he’s going to get his ass kicked repeatedly.

Same, Quentin – I too have an endless supply of songs about boats. Five bucks says you’re singing “The Mary Ellen Carter”.

Tybalt probably would still shred Simon to pieces given the change but he’s out of the picture for all of TBF.

Why do you think you can predict what Simon’s going to do, Toby? You know literally nothing about his objectives. He’s also willing to answer what he can of your questions and tell you things without being asked.  

The knowe is willing to let Toby through, and she is family. Would the knowe have let Simon through because he helped build it? What about August?

Way to mess it up, Sylvester. You definitely should have told Toby about Simon before you sent her after him. But that’s in the past and doesn’t matter, does it, Sylvester? Just like September, just like August. It can’t hurt you anymore, right?

I do believe the twins were close once, and by 1840 that’s no longer the case, but it doesn’t matter until 1906. You didn’t help enough to find August, or you encouraged her too much, it doesn’t matter. Simon wanted you to hurt the way he hurt, and if you can’t see that, you have forgotten too much.

Yeah, I can’t imagine Simon hurting Amandine unless it was in direct defense of August or Toby. Sylvester, you should know Amandine’s not going to let him back into her life without August present. You should know this, why don’t you know this?

Tybalt, you told them to run, that is not the Torquills’ fault. Hey, remember that decree that says if you want to marry one of the three, that one can’t refuse?

“I need you to live long enough to be cannon fodder when Simon decides to attack.” Quentin loves you too, Toby.

You are missing a vital, vital piece of why Simon was running around with Oleander. He’s not doing it for shits and giggles, Toby.

Poor Luidaeg. It sucks having the answers and not being able to tell them. Toby’s doing better on the questions this time around.

“At least we know that Simon won’t be able to come after us there.” One small problem with that, Toby.

Does each Library have its own library card, or is it an all access pass?

Mags definitely wanted Toby to show up after Simon left. Whoops. And Toby, you still owe her your mother’s history.

Hi again, Simon. Maybe this time you can actually talk?                                                                        

Yeah, the arrangement with Oleander is definitely non-con. Everyone is glad she’s dead except probably Evening.

Simon has three modes in this book: what he thinks will help Toby, what Toby thinks is helpful, and what he does as a servant of Evening. This is the middle interaction – useful information, no one is transformed or hurt.

Toby, remember you still owe Mags info on your mom.

Amandine definitely ruined your life, Toby, even if you don’t want to admit it.

Good job on raising the dead, Toby.

I guess Evening is a vampire? There’s at least one Snow White legend like that.

“Your lover was a Selkie; he told me quite a bit after he died.” How- What- Did the Luidaeg summon the night haunts to talk to Connor?

How long had Simon been sitting on Toby’s doorstep? He must have gotten straight to Shadowed Hills to get the roses and then back to her place. To the rose gardens at least, he couldn’t have gotten into the halls themselves.

This is the other thing – Toby stops again to ask her personal boogeyman for help. She trusts him enough to do that, which is something we don’t see anywhere else in the series. To be fair, Simon does keep insisting that he’s there to help, which is something no other villain does.

And Simon’s convinced she’s going to die.

May’s benched again, which is a recurring theme that she specifically acknowledges. Let this girl have a field trip with Toby.

Although not into the ocean because that’s where everyone ended up! Hi Dianda. Thanks for saving Toby from drowning.

I wonder what would have happened if Toby told Dianda that Simon gave her the warning. Probably nothing good – here’s yet another trusted authority figure who knew about that relationship and didn’t tell her.

Hello Evening. Hate to see you again. If only Dianda could punch you in the face.

Here her magic is roses and snow but I swear I’ve seen it described as roses and apples somewhere.

So where was she these past few years as she recovered? Does she have another knowe?

So why is Marcia not affected by Evening’s magic? Evening doesn’t recognize Marcia as anything other than changeling, I think. But Evening wouldn’t care that much. I really really want her to be Titania. Maeve would be cool too, but I want her to be Titania.

Good thing no one drowned in that little episode, including Tybalt and Quentin.  

Hi Raj! Everything’s ok!

Props to Toby for being willing to burn the Library down to get it to close, and kudos to Mags for listening to her.

And Simon’s playing double agent on the phone. Toby couldn’t have gotten through this book without him.

Toby hasn’t actually slept since before the Yule ball. How many days and nights has it been since then?

So why did Evening get Quentin sent to Shadowed Hills directly after Luna and Raysel’s return? How did they break free?

Riordan was once in Alameda – how did she move down to Dreamer’s Glass?

And how did Sylvester know they were coming? Simon must have told Evening, or maybe Evening assumed Toby would show up.

Hi Etienne, Bridget and Chelsea!

Yes, leave the boys behind to play Xbox games. Good plan.

Luna does have several points about Evening, Raysel and Karen. Why, exactly, does Stacy have two Seer daughters? She is also smart enough to get her favor from Toby before telling Toby what’s going on.

Is Toby going to have to do a favor for every ally she has?

You can take the Daoine Sidhe out of the Torquill but you can’t take the fox-fur hair and golden eyes.

Poor Raysel. I hope this helps her.

Huzzah, Toby gets to sleep!

Hello again, Simon. OK, Toby doesn’t think he told Evening that she called Shadowed Hills. And he’s back at the house.

There’s something to be said for the image of Simon petting Toby’s rosebush-cat for hours.

Yes, everyone needs group therapy, which clearly doesn’t exist in Faerie.

Correction: there’s nothing in his blood now that she could change. If Toby knew enough to look, could she tell immediately? Maida told Toby that she was once a changeling, and now Toby can look at Quentin and see those watermarks. She has since looked at Sylvester and Simon and been unable to tell that they had human blood once, but Toby misses a lot.

Hmm, Toby is not this… intimate with anyone else. Mind walking while riding Simon’s blood? She’s never done this with living people before. I think if he can be saved in the end, it will involve something similar.

Yep, the non-con is strong here. Simon is a fascinating villain.

So what exactly was Simon planning here? Toby is not a tree. She’s out for several hours and up again. Was Simon buying her time?

Hi Luidaeg! Glad to see you up.

Titania also sounds like a shit mother.

Septiminus was Evening’s grandson. He certainly didn’t get his coloring from her.

“Most of her children died young.” But there were enough grandchildren to establish several Daoine Sidhe lines. Aethlin and Maida aren’t closely related to the Torquills or Dugan or Rhys or Riordan.

Maeve took what vengeance she could against Titania for the Luidaeg’s binding and we don’t know what that is, yet.

Ok, yes. This is where the Luidaeg says Evening’s signatures are apples and roses. Her own magic is brackish marshes and ocean air. Toby doesn’t ask about this.

Elizabeth Ryan would probably argue that the Luidaeg stole her heart but she isn’t here right now.  

I am pretty sure Evening is older than the Luidaeg, but the Luidaeg implies Maeve could have had children before her, just not through Oberon. And none of them are living now.

The Luidaeg knows who Amandine’s mother is and can’t say.                                    

Yes Evening, we know you don’t like Dianda and Patrick’s marriage. You can shut up about it now.

Is Dawn one of the things the Luidaeg can’t talk about? She is not mentioned at all in this book, least of all by Toby.

And Simon’s under Evening’s control again. Poor Tybalt.

And Toby’s covered in her own blood again.

Dammit, Sylvester, Simon’s better at giving Toby answers than you are.

Yes, which of the Queens owned that key? And what exactly is it?

Oh you still don’t know better by now, Toby. You are still somewhat blind to what’s going on around you.

Nice job breaking Evening’s spell, Toby.

Oh Simon, you were so close.

Being stabbed with Simon’s elf-shot laced blood is enough to take out a Firstborn but somehow drinking Nolan’s blood didn’t put Toby out.

Though being asleep isn’t going to stop her…

Naww, Tybalt and Toby are cute together.

Man, I really want to see Dianda and Patrick’s reactions on learning that Evening is the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn. And why does no one seem to recall Dawn? Is there a world-wide “don’t think about it” spell? If so, who could cast it?

[tsukuyomi-chan]

Bleeding on Beds of Flowers Chapter 1

So I accidentally got into reading some hanahaki fics and I just really wanted to write this. It's about time I got off my butt and wrote some Rummy Labyrinth anyways.  This was originally gonna be a one shot but then it got really really long, so now it's in chapters.

Warnings:  Vomiting flowers, angst, feelings, Luna has anxiety, pining Luna, spoilers for the entire arc

Summary:  Luna thinks to herself that she had never really started living until she met Am. It then felt appropriate that she would die once she left Am. Luna’s downward spiral of self-discovery as she considers love and all its consequences.

Chapter 1:  Take One Step Outwards (See What Happens)

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The disease can only go away if the love becomes requited, or if the plant is removed through surgery, but the feelings and memories of the love disappear along with the petals. 

It starts sometime during the first G-Quest, Luna suspects.  She had spent the whole morning getting nervous over whether she could perform well. She spent the entire car ride to Magallanica with her hands shaking.  By the time they were at the stadium, Luna could barely hear, and has to be dragged to their dressing room by Am.

“I-I’m sorry…” Luna stammers out, but her vision swims as she watches the brightly lit tiles of the dressing room dance while wobbling.  “I-I’ll be f-fine… by showtime…”  She takes deep breathes, but all it does is stress her out more.  All this was doing was proving that Luna was incompetent and not suited for this job.

Am is the only other person in the room, but Luna barely pays attention to the other as she gets into her costume, putting it on backwards two times before finally getting it right.  Luna trips on nothing and has to grab the makeup desk to stop herself from plummeting to the floor pathetically.  She barely registers anything through her haze, and the next thing she knows, they’re alone backstage waiting on the platform to rise to take them up to the stage. Luna feels like fainting.

“I can’t take this anymore!” She faintly hears Am say.

And then Am’s hands smack Luna’s cheeks hard.

She blinks as her world comes into focus solely on Am, standing in front of her with her arms outstretched and hands still harshly holding onto the sides of her face.  “Do you remember our first routine?”  Am says.

“I-Introduce ourselves, go over rules, and then let the tournament happen while we perform.” Luna recites.

“What are we doing during the song?”

“S-Side step, sing, rotate─”

“Exactly the same as what we’ve been doing in rehearsals up until now, right?”

“R-Right.”

“Are you afraid of the crowd?”

Luna can feel her heartbeat rising into her throat again, and she gives a small nod from between Am’s hands.

“I am too.”  Am says, and Luna’s eyes widen.  “But more than anything, I’m excited.  I’m excited to share with them the hard work that I’ve put in to make them smile, and I can’t wait to see how everyone will be. Because I’m the whimsical dreaming butterfly, Chouno Am.  And who are you?”

“With the moonlight as my magic, I’m Yumizuki Luna.”

“And who are we?”

“We’re Rummy Labyrinth.”

Am nods, letting go of Luna’s cheeks.  “Exactly. The both of us together are Rummy Labyrinth.  And I’m going to be beside you the entire time.”

Luna wants to respond, to say something, but the platform rumbles and they get a warning from their headpieces that it’s starting, so she settles for just nodding back.  Her hand’s still shake, but Am’s words ring in her head and her cheeks still sting and she feels slightly better.

Luna lets her body go onto autopilot, the exact same as rehearsal.  She stumbles over one word, but it’s covered up easily.  She misses one dance step, but Am easily fills in and makes it look natural.  And in the end, the audience screams and cheers for them all the same.  

Everything goes fine in the end, to the point where it almost feels like a dream once the car pulls up in front of her and Am’s apartment, and she stands at the doorway to bid Am goodnight.

Am has a certain sort of brilliant business smile, masterfully crafted and perfectly shaped like a sculpture, but also cold and frozen in time like one.  Luna’s seen in multiple times per day ever since she started working with the other girl.  It made Am popular and well received, but it never seemed to reach her eyes, and no one else ever commented on it so neither did Luna.

“Good job today, Luna.” Am says, and for once it’s not her business smile, but a genuine smile that splits across her face and makes her eyes crinkle and Luna’s chest is all the sudden unnecessarily warm and she thinks she just wants to look at that smile forever.  “I knew you could do it.”

Luna thinks its maybe because she had so much to eat at dinner, or maybe she’s just giddy because the performances went well, but her chest feels tight and she stumbles over her own feet as she gets ready for bed.  Her cheeks feel warm, as if it was still that morning where Am had hit them and held them to get her to focus, and Am’s hands had been warm.

Am praised her today. Luna smiles and laughs and then her chest feels too tight and she coughs.

A tiny red petal floats gently into her palm.

The second G-Quest is a frantic blur for Luna.  She and Am had spent the week planning for it, but on the dress rehearsal day at Dragon Empire, she kept messing up.  The reappearance of Team Try3 cheers her up slightly, and it only makes her more determined to do well, even with the strange cough she had been developing.

For the last week, she had been occasionally coughing up red petals.  At first Luna thought it was because the wind was blowing them into her apartment, but they kept showing up even after she closed all of the windows. That coupled with how she seemed to be coughing them up just confused her further.  It wasn’t too bad, and she was able to hide every petal that occasionally slipped out of her mouth when she was with Am so far.

Coughing up the petals made Luna notice just how much she watches Am on a regular basis.  She’s always watching the girl choreograph new moves for routines, talk and negotiate with others how to set up the special effects, and Am just makes it seem so simple to have everything work just the way she wanted it to.  Compared to Luna, who tripped over her own feet whenever she ran, Am was basically a god. It became a habit for Luna to just watch Am work, smile, and then for Luna to cough up another petal and hide it in her back pocket before anyone saw.

And so it becomes relatively simple for Luna to notice the kinds of things that Am has influenced or touched.  Their routines always have a signature flare.  The songs all have a similar style.  The atmosphere of Rummy Labyrinth stays together with Am.  And Luna doesn’t miss the way Am always has a backpack full of stuff for what she assumes is other work for the Vanguard Association that she’s been tasked with.

And it’s exceedingly simple for Luna, on her break from getting things ready for the G-Quest, to recognize the mitten charm that’s been attached to Am’s backpack for the last month in a trash bag being wheeled away and not being able to do a single thing about it.

Luna’s throat feels so clogged up, she wants to cry.

Tokoha and her teammates come over, and Luna tells them as best as she can, and Tokoha helps by telling her where all the trash ends up.  Luna runs as fast as she can, with the other three following.

The trash heap is huge, and every plastic bag looks the same.  Luna remembers the workers at the beginning telling them about the litter on the ground, but didn’t expect this much.  It’s hard to breathe and she coughs, looking at the petals that spilt into her palm before scrunching them up in a fist.

No, she’s not going to cry. She’s going to do something about this.

Luna rips open bag after bag, sifting through litter and trash, and she’s glad that Try3 is here helping because she feels braver now, and she wants to prove that she herself is capable of something.  She wanted to at least prove to Am that she wasn’t completely useless on her own.

Luna bends over and goes into a coughing fit.  She coughs and coughs and her throat burns as more and more petals spill out, so many that her hands can’t hide it anymore, and she sees Tokoha’s horrified face when the petals all tumble to the ground, sees Chrono and Shion stop their search to try and help her, and she yells at them “I’m fine!” to try and get them to go back to searching, and coughs again, red petals contrasting with the green grass under her knees.

She feels Tokoha’s hand gently rubbing her back as her coughing subsides, and the girl hands her a handkerchief.  Luna’s glad, and she wipes away stray petals at the edge of her mouth.

“Are you o─ow!” Chrono starts, but Shion slaps the back of his head and glares at him.

“Your rehearsal’s going to start any minute.  You should go and let us keep searching.”  Tokoha says, accepting the handkerchief back.  Luna shakes her head and stands up again.

“I’m not leaving until I find it.”  She says, and goes back to searching.  She searches and searches and she’s sure that she’s late now and Am’s going to be disappointed but if Luna doesn’t find the mitten then Am’s going to be sad, and Luna would rather Am be disappointed at her than be sad all the time.  Luna can handle disappointment by this point, but Am doesn’t deserve to be sad after how hard she works.

Luna’s hand brushes the mitten and she cheers, coughing up another petal in the process as she pulls it out and shows the others, and then they rush back to the stage.

Elation fills her heart. She’s done something good for Am.

“Am!”  Luna yells as she sees the girl near the stage.  

“Where were you?”  Am demands, and it makes Luna flinch.  Am is disappointed and harsh, to the point of it being discouraging, and Luna can feel the hopes inside her being squashed down.

But she holds out the mitten for Am anyways.

Luna’s never seen an expression like that on Am before, staring down at the now-found mitten. Bewildered, puzzled, confused, something out of Am’s calculations and careful planning.  Luna wonders if Am figured it was better to have lost the mitten forever.  She wonders what Am thinks of her now, someone who wasted time to search for useless trinkets.

Am surges forwards, and Luna’s suddenly hugged tight and all she can do is let out a squeal because Am is warm and trembling and her arms are strong around her.  “This is really precious to me!  Thank you!”  Am shouts, muffled into her shoulder, and her blue hair tickles Luna’s throat and her jacket’s soft and Luna never even dreamt that she’d get this close to Am before. “Thank you, Luna!  Thank you!”  And Am is warmer than Luna ever imagined.

She feels more petals rising in her throat, and forces herself to swallow them down as she embraces Am back.  “If you’re happy, then I’m happy too, Am.”  

The warmth of their hug is way more important to Luna than any discomfort in her throat.

That night, Luna drops her toothbrush into the sink as she bends over and retches on the ground, her chest heaving and throat burning, and more petals fall out of her mouth as she struggles to breathe.  When it finally dies down and she can somewhat breathe normally again, Luna begins scooping up the petals to put in the wastebasket when something catches her eye.

All the things that had fallen out of her so far were just petals, but Luna scooped up the complete flower that had fallen out this time in both hands, soft and beautiful.

It’s a red carnation.