#no update today but this is whats been consuming me
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a nice beefy sneak peek for the holidays 😇
#more than usual#no update today but this is whats been consuming me#this fic is insane lol#ryeji#ryeji smut#itzy#itzy smut#my fic#writing stuff#hitman au#hope yall like this one is the most unhinged yet LMAO#merry christmas happy chanukah etc etc!
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort
TW: Bruises/Hickies, Church
AN: Surprise shawtyyy! I was fighting demons to keep a poker face up until this point lolol also normally, I'd have a follow up post for Tuesday if I post on a Monday - but next update will be later this week, as I'm at the point where I'm just straight up making poses for the whole thing lol. (trying not to, because it's time consuming).
Transcript under the cut
Malcolm: Are they done yet? This is boring!
Jonathan: You don’t get it.
Malcolm: Get what!
Jonathan: Mom and Dad. They’re in love and stuff.
Malcolm: Bleh!
Nancy: [whispers] I’m sorry.
Geoffrey: Hm? What for?
Nancy Narrates: [For betraying you]
Nancy Narrates: [For always wanting more when this should be enough]
Nancy Narrates: [You don’t deserve this..]
Nancy: [whispers] Nothing. Nevermind.
-
Jonathan: What happened? What’s wrong with Mom?
Geoffrey: She’s ok, she just needs to rest-
Malcolm: Is it cause she’s drunk?
Geoffrey: Malcolm- Ok, how about you two find a movie for us to watch for boy’s night and I’ll get Mommy ready for bed.
Geoffrey: Nance. I need you to sit up so I can get your night gown on.
Nancy: Mhm.. s’fine.
Geoffrey: [snorts] Alright, suit yourself. Don’t try and steal all the blankets when you get cold tonight.
Nancy: [whimpers] M’ gonna be better, Geoffrey. M’so sorry..
Geoffrey: There you go, apologizing again. You know it’s ok if you do steal them, right, silly? I run hot at night any...anyway-
-
Nancy Narrates: [I made a silent promise to my family that I’ll never stray away from them again. I would make it right, somehow]
Deacon: Today we gather to reflect on the sacred gift of family. God created humanity in His image. From the beginning, we see family is part of His design.
Deacon: It is within our families that we first encounter unconditional love that mirrors God’s own love for us all.
Priest: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Nancy: Amen. [softly] Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been- [exhales] a while since my last confession.
Priest: What is troubling you, my child?
Nancy: I’ve- fallen prey to my weakness for the same sex. I fear what I’ve done will ruin my family.
Priest: Have you struggled with this before?
Nancy: I’ve never really acted on it, until now.
Priest: How do you feel about what you’ve done?
Nancy: Guilt. Shame. Disgust.
Priest: My daughter, these emotions are a sign of your conscience at work. You have acted against your own values. You know these unnatural ways is not in accordance to God’s design. For your penance, I want you to spend time in prayer and consider the harm you’ve caused for yourself and for your soul.
-
Judith: Oh, brother. He said that?
Nancy: It’s nothing I’ve never heard before, growing up in the church and all.
Judith: You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right?
Nancy: [scoffs] I cheated on my husband! That’s unforgivable, in any situation. If Geoffrey ever found out, he’d leave me. The boys would have to suffer through a divorce- a broken family. The media would eat us alive. And my mother, God, if she knew-
Judith: Oh, I am so sick of hearing about that old broad!
Nancy: I just need to put it behind me. Move on. I got it out of my system, so I have no reason to speak to Lily ever again. I’ll never think about another woman. I’ll be good. Normal.
Judith: What the hell is normal, anyway? If you’re abnormal, than so am I.
Nancy: [sighs] You’re not married or a mother.
Judith: Have you even allowed yourself a moment to revel in this?
Nancy: Why would I?
Judith: Because you finally gave yourself something you wanted. Put the shame and all those nasty feelings aside for a second and tell me about it.
Nancy: [groans] God, it felt so good. The sex yes, but there was something about her obeying everything I said that thrilled me. If I close my eyes now, I can still feel her teeth in my skin, her gasps when I squeezed her throat.
Judith: There.
Nancy: What? There what?
Judith: The real you. You pack her away so much that when you finally allow her to show, she shines.
Nancy: She frightens me..
Judith: Good! She’s a real bitch, and she’s ready for her debut! I want to see you at your brightest, darling. It’s when you’re the happiest.
Nancy: I don’t know if happiness was in the cards I was dealt.
Judith: I believe it is. And when it comes, bask in it, darling.
-
Jonathan: Move, Malcolm! I have the phone!
Malcolm: NO! Let me talk to mommy!
Nancy: Quit bickering, you two. Jonathan, let your brother speak too, please.
Malcolm: YEAH!
Jonathan: [groans] Fine! Mom, are you almost home? Will you be late again?
Nancy: I’ve just wrapped up my last client and I’ll be on my way.
Malcolm: Then we can look for a Christmas tree?!
Nancy: We sure can, my love. I’ll see you both very, very soon.
Jonathan: Promise?
Nancy: I promise. I love you both so much.
Assistant: Mrs. Landgraab, you have a guest asking for you in the lobby.
Nancy: [scoffs] You’re joking? No, no I can’t. Have them book an appointment. I’m leaving for the evening.
Assistant: I suggested that, but they refused to leave and insisted on seeing you.
Nancy: Oh, fucking hell.. fine. Page my driver to wait for me out front anyway. I’ll make this quick.
Nancy: [breathlessly] Vanessa.
Vanessa: Hello Nancy.
#the art of being seen#the landgraabs#tw hickies#tw bruises#tw church#church#priest#tw priest#sims 4 simblr#ts4 simblr#sims 4 stories#sims 4#sims 4 community#Nancy Landgraab#Judith Ward#Geoffrey Landgraab
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Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.
Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.
This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.
Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.
This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.
My options in the short term are to
A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or
B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.
Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.
I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.
----
In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.
[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]
Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.
And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.
In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.
There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.
And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.
I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.
Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.
Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.
----
I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.
Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?
(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)
"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"
No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."
Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.
I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?
I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.
I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.
I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.
----
Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.
If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.
"But -- but how, exactly?"
Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.
There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.
Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.
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6: the madness // series m.list
note: say u missed me or else i’ll cry 🫵
taglist request: send a request with the title of this fic “aao” // DO NOT comment here or on the masterlist . it gets confusing and i prefer answering and tagging through asks !!!
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo
//
Timing.
You’ve never really understood it. Not to mention the whole invisible string theory and how implausible it seems… How is it that you can coexist with the love of your life for years and not be with them until the time is right?
Isn’t that strange?
Love is all-consuming, inevitable, and perfect, but its greatest weakness is a mere concept: time.
Speaking of time, you’re early.
As you enter the restaurant and greet your friends, you can’t help but check your phone every other minute. Waiting for a text from him, checking the time, and wondering when he’ll arrive… It feels exhausting to be in this state of longing.
How is it that you’ve been friends with him for so long and now you need him more than ever?
To hold you and tell you everything is alright.
To smile at you like you’re his favorite person in the entire world.
To just be with him.
Even if today wasn’t life or death, you felt so helpless. It felt like everything was against you.
Yes, it was just about a stupid presentation (that barely scratches the surface of your future), but it was still a tough thing to get through alone. It was unexpected and filled with minor mistakes, making it feel like a complete defeat.
So much happened.
First, you slept through your alarm.
Though you made it right on time, you didn’t have the extra moments to prepare and run through your presentation like you had originally planned.
Then, since there was no time for prep, you encountered technical difficulties. Your notes were missing for some reason…
And your stuttering!
God, you never stuttered so much in your life.
It was truly an off morning.
… And it doesn’t end there.
Nope!
As you texted Jungkook and updated him, you remembered that you had a rescheduled quiz to take… You know, the one that you completely forgot to review last night because your head was all over this stupid presentation.
The quiz went fine but it could’ve been better.
You know you could’ve done better.
That’s probably what annoys you the most. Everything that occurred today wasn’t up to your standard performance level. Humanizing it is difficult because the truth is simple…
Some days just aren’t good.
Some days you just have to take the L.
Some days you just need to breathe through.
And that’s okay.
Because after all the bad, losing, and catching-your-breath moments—there’s him.
The very thought of him eases you. Talking to him makes you feel like you’re bigger than the bad and the losing. Being with him is as easy as breathing.
“Hey ___,” an unfamiliar voice disrupts your thoughts. You turn your head to see who it is. Beside you, a tall man with a broad build offers you a smile. He has short hair and dimples. Even with just his appearance, he’s charming (you can’t deny that).
Politely, you return it but it’s obvious you’re confused.
“… I’m so sorry,” you feel slightly embarrassed to not remember his name. “You are?”
“Mingyu,” he introduces himself, stepping closer and offering his hand. You take it, shaking it slowly and unsure.
He tries again.
“I’m Jungkook’s friend,” Mingyu explains. “You’re Jungkook’s… Uh?”
“O-oh!” you avoid the question and redirect the conversation. “Are you in his friend group with Jaehyun and them?”
He scoffs. “By ‘them’ you mean those guys?”
Mingyu points to a group of tall guys hovering over the menu display. You count them and can’t help but laugh.
Then, you notice one.
“Is that DK? I think Jungkook introduced me to him when we were walking home a few weeks ago!” From where you are, you wave at DK. DK sees you from the corner of his eye and sends you a smile. He gestures for you to come over. For the second time, you smile politely and feel stuck.
What now?
“What’s Jungkook doing introducing you to DK and not me?” Mingyu chuckles, attempting to lighten the mood.
You purse your lips. “Ohh.. I get it.”
“Get what?”
“You’re cheeky,” you observe. “Yup… You’re definitely friends with Jungkook.”
Mingyu puts his hands up in surrender and then on your shoulders. “Guilty as charged.”
You laugh.
He likes your laugh. It’s soft and attractive—especially when you throw your head slightly back. Intrigued, he invites you to sit with them.
“You know the others, right? Hobi and them?”
“Yeah!” you answer him happily. “Hobi and I are actually pretty close—“
Mingyu’s puppy eyes light up with excitement. “Oh, shit really? So you don’t need to get to know them or anything?”
You blink at him.
“I guess?”
“Great!” Mingyu beams. “Good. Cool... Sit with me! I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
You know it’s all friendly nature.
Mingyu is known for being like this.
Goofy, a little deceptive, but a good guy overall. You have nothing to fear! Especially when he’s friends with Jungkook, right? He wouldn’t think of trying to flirt with you… Right?
What are you to Jungkook again?
Before you know it, Mingyu’s hands find yours. As he laces your fingers together, you feel your chest tighten.
This feels weird.
It feels like betrayal even though you know it’s not. Isn’t it ridiculous to be thinking this way?
You run excuses and options in your head.
Do you pull away and laugh it off? Do you just let him hold your hand and lead you to sit with him and the others? You aren’t sure… But the one thing that is clear is the look of annoyance on Jungkook’s face as he steps into the restaurant and his eyes land on your hands.
“Jungkook!”
As cinematic as it can be, that’s what it is. You shake Mingyu’s grasp off and rush to Jungkook. He’s completely taken aback, stumbling as you crash into him. A small laugh escapes his lips, as he finds your tiny charge at him to be the cutest thing you’ve done thus far. He barely walked in and you’re already in his arms.
Heaven, he thinks to himself.
As he wraps his arms around you, he kisses the top of your head. “Wow, look at you. Are you sure you’re my girl? Not shy anymore? Not avoiding me? I’m so proud of you, mi.”
He smells like him. Like his laundry detergent and his skin after his workout—a little sweaty but so addictive.
Is that weird?
Most importantly… Who cares?
He’s here.
You can breathe him in. You can breathe again.
You groan in embarrassment. Pulling away, you keep yourself close enough to rest your chin on his chest. He lowers his gaze at you, eyes softening as his lips curve into a pout.
“Bad day?”
“Better now,” you hum, hugging him tighter. He laughs and gently tickles your sides. Your laughter increases, causing you to let go of him. He takes your bag from your hands and swings it over his shoulder. His fingers brush against yours as you two walk to join your friends who go ahead and get seated.
“Hey, am I crazy or was Mingyu holding your hand—”
“___!” Mingyu calls for you.
You and Jungkook turn your heads and see him patting a place for you. Without a second thought, Jungkook lifts his hand to wave and you hold onto him tighter. Exchanging looks, he then proceeds to guide you towards his circle of friends and away from the ones you’re familiar with. Passing by Hobi, you give him a look.
A ‘help-me-get-out-of-this,’ look.
Hobi sticks his tongue out at you and mouths, “you’ll be fine, bitch.”
By the time you gather your thoughts, Jungkook has already introduced you to his other group of friends. You completely blank out as they respond and introduce themselves. It’s only for a few seconds and you already had an idea of who they all are anyway.
The campus calls them the 97 liners.
They’re known for being…
Boys.
Decent ones at that, but they’re definitely energetic. Amusing almost all the time, competitive and intimidating when they need to be. Through rumors and observations you’ve made from afar, it made sense to you where Jungkook gets his playfulness from.
He’s…
A lot like them.
He’s definitely himself. It’s interesting.
Mingyu scoots over, making enough room for you and Jungkook. He dabs Jungkook up, greeting him as warmly as he greeted you. The others continue their conversations, asking for your input every so often. You quickly realize how charismatic everyone is, and to be completely honest, it overwhelms you.
But with Jungkook beside you, it doesn’t feel like a bad thing. He squeezes your hand under the table every so often when he notices your gaze wander. It’s like he’s gravity to you.
“Okay, so we already ordered… But we can order again if there’s something specific ___ wants,” Mingyu says, rather bubbly. He clears his throat, reaches over the table, grabs the menu and offers it to you.
“Yah, yah, yah,” Jungkook sends a glare to Mingyu, yanking the menu from him. You turn to look at him and find that he doesn't look amused. His eyes are fixed at his friend. With an intimidating tone, he warns; “Mingyu, stop flexing.”
Mingyu shakes his head, not taking it seriously. Jungkook and him have always had a playful friendship anyways. “I don't know what you're talking about... I’m not flexing. ___, feel it! I swear I’m not flexing right now.”
Jungkook tightens his grip on your hands.
Taking a sip of your water, you take your time to swallow and gather your thoughts.
“Don’t you gym with Jungkook?”
Dumb question.
“I gym more than him,” Mingyu corrects you.
Wow.
Stupid answer.
You can't help it. A laugh escapes your lips. “Is that supposed to impress me?”
Jungkook lets out a hearty chuckle, liking the way you answer. He feels proud of you. He feels like he definitely chose the right girl.
Mingyu smirks, leaning back.
He thinks this is fun.
It is fun.
“Ehhh.. I mean, if you ever let me take you on a date, I’ll show you what it means to be impressed.”
Jungkook’s smile drops.
Yours does too.
You shift closer to Jungkook and avoid Mingyu's eyes.
“H-honestly, I’m not feeling picky tonight. I’m sure whatever you guys ordered will be delicious.”
The rest of the conversation is easygoing as everyone patiently waits for the food to arrive. Mingyu’s attention turns back to his friends, as he takes the hint from your avoidant eyes. To him, it was unserious.
Hopefully, it’s also whatever to you.
As the food arrives and is set on the table, Jungkook exchanges a few side comments and whispers context into your ear. You giggle and feel your heart race when he places his hand on your thigh.
“Jungkook…”
“Hm?”
“Your hand,” you warn.
“What about my hand?”
“It’s on my thigh.”
“I know,” he snickers. “Wish it was somewhere else.”
You gasp and can’t resist hitting his chest. He takes the hit like a man. He knows he deserves it.
On the table is a plate of shrimp. You pick one up with your chopsticks and begin to peel it. As Jungkook eats, you place the freshly peeled shrimp on top of his rice. He smiles at you brightly, his heart close to combusting.
“You didn’t have to—”
Jungkook’s words are cut off as you hear Mingyu whine, “Awh, no fair! Peel me one too, please!”
You nod and answer his request. Taking another shrimp and beginning to peel it, you then finish quickly and place it on top of his rice too.
Mingyu eats it happily.
Meanwhile, Jungkook’s chest tightens. Again, it’s such a minor thing to happen… Yet, it irks him so much. He’s no boy, though. This isn’t a perilla leaf tantrum—no, he was much too mature for that.
This was… Clarity.
In between bites, Mingyu brings up a fascinating topic.
“Why are you looking at her like that?” he blurts. Jungkook hadn’t even noticed he was looking at you a certain way. What was it? Was it too revealing of his feelings?
Wait… What even is he feeling?
There’s a sense of jealousy and frustration wrapped around the core of it all; his liking of you.
“I’m not looking at her in any way,” Jungkook responds, taking a sip of water. You continue to chew and look away.
“You totally are,” Mingyu laughs. “Hey, is it because you used to like her?”
Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat. “Where did you hear that?”
“Ohh.. So it’s not true, then?”
“Nah,” Jungkook scoffs. “I just don’t get why it’s a rumor and why it’s in the past tense. It’s true… I like her. She knows it too—wait, you fuck… Do you even read the group chat? I talk about her all the fucking time.”
Mingyu’s eyes light up.
“Oh my god!” he gasps, piecing everything together. “Shit, right. I remember now. God, why’d that take me so long to connect? Of course! This is ___. The ___! Ice skating bullshit, right? Pocky kiss or whatever?”
Your eyes widen as you turn to Jungkook. “You told them?”
Jungkook smiles innocently.
“I have the best kiss of my life and you expect me not to tell my boys?”
He has you there.
Mingyu laughs, murmuring about how down bad Jungkook is. When you feel your cheeks heat up, you quickly bury your face into your hands. You feel so embarrassed… But at the same time flattered.
It’s awful.
To make matters worse, the butterflies keep fluttering as Jungkook tilts his head and smirks at you. He finds your shyness the most precious thing in this entire world. The mere fact that he makes you feel and act like this?
Oh, it’s remarkable.
Jungkook can't help but compare your behavior from earlier to now. How you took initiative and ran into his arms as if they were your safe haven—and now there's this.
You like this, right now.
So utterly his without him much being done or said. It's an understanding. It's simply how it is.
He chuckles, as he wraps his arms around you and squeezes you into a tight hug.
“Ahh... You totally folded."
With his words, your eyes widen. You push him away and roll your eyes at him. He teases you, mocking the way you cling onto his body.
You huff but let him hold onto you. From here on out, you two keep it casual and continue your conversations with everyone. He piles food onto your plate and in exchange you bring the food to his mouth.
Jungkook eats happily.
When the dinner is over, everyone goes their separate ways.
Jungkook’s friends all hug you goodbye (Mingyu takes his sweet time) and leave him to walk you home. Hand in hand, you two wave goodbye and earn a few winks from Hobi. To that, you roll your eyes and brush it off.
The walk with Jungkook is nice.
The conversation between you two is so natural and good. You talk about the presentation mess up in more detail and he listens well. He empathizes with your feelings and understands. He’s so easy to talk to. He gets you. He makes you laugh even when what he’s saying isn’t funny.
Is this how it’s like when you have feelings for someone?
How embarrassing.
When you two reach your front door, he looks at you longingly.
“Feel better?” he asks you. You notice how gentle is tone is. How thoughtful.
“… About everything? The presentation and shit… Bebu, at the end of the day you did what you could. The grade your received is literally still an A—w-what”
Jungkook is startled.
You grasp the fabric of his hoodie and pull him close. Without a second thought, you take a step closer to him and lean in. With urgency, you kiss him.
Deep.
Needy.
Lovingly.
His eyes flutter shut as you deepen the kiss with your tongue. He gives you way, parting his mouth open for you to explore and do as you please. As he kisses you back with the same kind of energy, you smile into the kiss.
When you pull away, Jungkook is in disbelief.
“... Now what?”
You clear your throat, feeling your lips tingling from the kiss.
“S-sorry,” you gulp. “I d-don’t know what came over me… I just—”
“Why are you apologizing?” he blinks at you slowly. “I didn’t ask for an apology. I asked, now what?”
You tighten your lips.
“Now? I… I just need some air.”
Jungkook nods his head, eyebrows furrowed together. He understands you.
Before you can open your mouth to defend or redirect, he beats you to it.
“Yeah? Me too.”
Before you know it, he kisses you.
Jungkook kisses you like a silent plea. Even though he has already confessed; this felt like another.
The way he kisses you feels like a new language. He knows just when you kiss you more and when you to be delicate. He cups your jaw with the palm of his hand, tilting your head so he can kiss you better.
Which is so fucking weird… But it happens like never before.
He kisses you better.
Breaking away from the kiss, you two catch your breaths. As you do so, you clear your throat.
“Wanna come inside?” you ask, taking his hand.
He smirks, unable to stop himself.
“Sure… But I’m gonna need some clarification on that offer… Come inside where?”
In your dimly lit kitchen, you two make yourselves a cup of tea.
Jungkook multitasks by making passes—saying that the water is still cold since you’re hotter than it. He sneaks in a few kisses on your cheeks as you tell him he’s being stupid. You two laugh as he lifts you up to sit on your kitchen island. He makes himself comfortable in between your legs.
There, you caress his hair.
He is so handsome. You love the way his nose just fits his face… How round his eyes are and even the scar on his cheek. It’s so precious.
He’s perfect, you think to yourself.
As you get lost in your thoughts, Jungkook feels so much comfort and freedom with your touch. It feels like rest. For a moment, he shuts his eyes and takes in how much he loves your touch.
Breaking the silence, you tug on his hair. “You need a haircut.”
He shakes his head, eyes still closed.
“Literally got one two weeks ago.”
“Yeah,” you realize he’s right. He did cut his hair two weeks ago. He came over that night just to show it off. “... But I liked Mingyu’s hair! It was so short. I feel like it would suit you too.”
He opens one eye and gives you a weird look.
You mimic it.
“What?”
Jungkook lifts his face.
“So… Was it just me but I definitely caught Mingyu trying to shoot his shot with you, right?” He snickers, tilting his head as he recalls what he saw. "He literally asked you out."
You shrug, explaining Mingyu's attempt to hold your hand as a friendly gesture. "He’s just friendly, right? He also tried to hold my hand to lead me to the table and that was kinda… Unexpected? But he’s like that, right? He’s just friendly. Like a puppy! Golden retriever energy.”
"Maybe," Jungkook responds, his tone betraying a hint of uncertainty. "Y-yeah. I mean, the shrimp thing was worse."
You laugh softly. "What? This is about the shrimp thing? I peeled it for you too… And it’s not like I peeled his because I wanted to. He asked. It was lighthearted."
"I know that," he reassures you, his tone softening. "I’m not that insecure to pick a fight over peeling shrimp. You don’t have to convince me it was nothing. I know it was nothing.”
Confusion flashes across your face at his mixed signals. "Are you upset?"
"Maybe," he admits quietly.
Then he hesitates.
“Actually, I think I’m frustrated. I’m not mad. Sorry if I sounded aggressive—"
"N-no, it’s fine," you reassure him, gently cutting him off. "Why are you frustrated, bebu?"
Jungkook offers you a weak smile. "I don’t get it…"
"Get what?"
"All this shit and we’re still not together.”
Your brows furrow slightly in confusion.
Taken aback, you ask him, “what’s that supposed to mean?"
Gesturing between the two of you, Jungkook expresses his confusion. "This… I mean, what is this? We’re together, aren’t we?"
"Jungkook—"
"I’m just… I don’t get it. Even if you thought he was just being friendly, why didn’t you just say you were my girlfriend? Mingyu would’ve stopped flirting with you."
"So it’s my fault?" you huff, feeling offended at the pitch of this idea. "I thought your friends knew—"
"Well… Yes. I talk about you, and it’s not like I’m ditching parties to study in that stupid library—"
"Can you leave the library out of this?"
"Okay," he sighs, relenting. "Sorry… I just… They know how I feel about you. I guess they don’t know how you feel about me, and… I mean, did you tell him we were together or not? Because if I had to remind him who you were to me, I don’t think you told him that we—"
"Jungkook—"
"No, I’m being serious," he interrupts, his tone becoming more stern. "Why didn’t you just—"
"You never asked me out!" you interject, frustration evident in your voice.
Jungkook stares at you blankly, prompting you to continue. He runs everything back in his mind.
You were right.
With all these moments, he’s been so busy planning how to get reactions out of you and completely missed out on so many perfect opportunities.
“You never asked me to be your girlfriend. All you’ve been doing this entire time is trying to get me to flirt with you, kiss you, or trick me into dates… You want me to act like your girlfriend? Ask me to be. I’m not built for situationships… And honestly? I’ve been waiting—patiently and elegantly at that. There were so many times where I wanted to hold your hand and give in. You talk about how you’ll get me to fold or whatever—fine.”
You take a breath, caving in. “This is it. I’ve folded! God, do you even know how hard it is to study next to you in that stupid library because y-you… You give me butterflies.”
Jungkook reaches for you. You let him touch you but your heart stays still, fighting to get these feelings out. Your voice wavers with emotion.
“A-and it’s so… I don’t know how you do it. At some point, I set them free. Like, fine, okay! Fly high, my butterflies… But for what?"
There’s a sense of urgency that awakens in you. Never in your life have you ever felt the same way for anyone.
It feels like defeat and victory all at once.
It feels like peace and war all at once.
It feels like love.
Oh, the madness.
To love someone this wide and deep… To love someone at all. It is everything beyond you. How it radiates through your body and onto his lips… How everything unfolds and reveals him no matter what.
You can’t decide if the way you’ve fallen is utterly heartbreaking or romantic. Maybe it’s both.
Let’s say it’s both.
All you know is that with glossy eyes and a fragmented understanding of timing, you tell him;
“Jungkook, I set my butterflies free, and they flew to you."
#bts fic#jk scenario#jk imagine#jk x mingyu x oc#jungkook fanfic#bts scenario#jk uni au#jk f2l#bts f2l
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Author's note: Meep
Relationships: Mortarion/Fem!Reader (no pronouns just uterus implied)
Warnings: Tokophobia, Self deprecation, Dehumanizing kind of language about a fetus lol Morty is cursing his balls for actually working
The news to you, had begun as a bought of sickness.
Mortarion had panicked, worried that his strict decontamination protocol had failed and somehow you'd gotten a pathogen from him, or from something he'd given you. He'd cast suspicion to the new dress he'd gotten you as a gift, vowing to burn it for its perceived transgressions.
You'd quite quickly reassured him you didn't feel that ill, and that it came in waves; like a sour stomach more than a sickness. He still didn't relax, and likely wouldn't until he had a baseline medicae look you over.
He hadn't been there at the time, his men needed to update him on various things concerning his legion- a significantly more important task- and he left you to your check over with the promise that you would update him.
It had been a quick and easy endeavor; You had gotten your diagnosis after a few quick questions, and a blood test.
Pregnant.
It... You had never even considered the idea beyond the overly romantic and at times erotic wandering your mind would do. You don't know why you didn't perceive it as an option; Mortarion is a man, a human one, technically- but you'd never considered this risk. It surely didn't help that Mortarion treated and spoke of his body as if it was broken by various experiments and genetic meddling anyhow.
His return to his quarters was hasty, knowing you would be waiting with whatever news you were given in the time of his absence. When he entered, he soon saw you sitting on the massive bed underneath its canopy.
You insisted on adding it, and Mortarion allowed it after a short bit of pleading. He wouldn't admit it, but he appreciates it now; he enjoys the feeling of security the curtains give his bed as he lays with you surrounded by them. Like a den.
"What did they say?"
His voice was more worn, tired. He'd spoken a lot today. Multiple coughing fits and hours of conversation have rendered his voice more harsh than usual. The hesitation that you exuded worried him however, as you wrung your wrists. He was on a knife's edge before he saw your face soften a tad as you prepared to speak.
"I'm pregnant."
You could see the shock spread across his face, his eyes darting around your face as if somehow still confused. Once it settled more, sinking in his mind like debris in a lake, he stepped closer to you as his ruined throat whispered roughly.
He sounded... Dumbfounded.
"I didn't think..."
He seemed confused, almost upset- you were worried for a moment, until he spoke again a bit louder and clarified the turbulence in his mind.
"I... I am sorry."
"I did this to you, I put that in you, I- I didn't think I even could-"
He shocked you with the sudden overwhelming headiness of guilt he exuded. His hands weighed heavy in your lap as he sank to his knees in front of you. His head hung low looking at your belly, and ever since the word of your condition left your lips, he hadn't looked you in the eyes.
He spoke as if the child inside of you was a parasite, a disgusting abomination he had inflicted upon you.
"Please forgive me, I can remedy this. I promise you I will fix this, I won't have you suffer such a disgusting sanguisige for my own ignorance."
You slipped your hands into his thin hair, feeling it against your skin. He showed little reaction, consumed by his own prostration.
"Mortarion..."
Your brow furrowed, watching his face contort with self hated. His hands tightened on the fabric of your skirt but not enough to damage it.
"I had no intent to do this, to make you carry such a creature, I will f-" You dared to interrupt him before he continued more, the rasp of his dry throat roughing his words like the most course sandpaper.
"Tari, what is there to fix?"
He froze, looking at you confused. You tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear and smiled.
"Now that the surprise is over, i couldn't be happier." You lost that smile a bit, remembering snippets of things he's told you of his past.
"With the way you always spoke about your body, I," you made sure not to mention his name- Necare- and ruin the moment.
"I didn't know if it was possible. But," You laughed. "It is."
Mortarion looked at you wide eyed, hands still in your lap gripping your skirt. His prostrating ended as you kept talking, watching sheer disbelief cross his face. He seemed so shocked that you weren't sobbing, weren't crying for him to tear the embryo out of you before it grew and latched tighter to your body like a leech, and cursing him for the sheer gall of him to impregnate you.
In reality, you were excited.
"Recently, I've been thinking about having a baby. I wonder if it was fate. Or maybe someone telling me I'd gotten my wish and just didn't know quite yet." You brushed your palm against his cheek, watching his glassy, disbelief filled eyes gaze at you.
"I hope they look like you, Tari."
#mortarion x reader#primarch x reader#reader#warhammer 40k x reader#reader insert#mywriting#tokophobia tw
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One thing that I keep seeing whenever I make posts that are critical of macs is folks in the notes going "they make great computers for the money if you just buy used/refurbs - everyone knows not to buy new" and A) no they don't know that, most people go looking for a new computer unless they have already exhausted the new options in their budget and B) no they don't make great computers for the money, and being used doesn't do anything to make them easier to work on or repair or upgrade.
Here's a breakdown of the anti-consumer, anti-repair features recently introduced in macbooks. If you don't want to watch the video, here's how it's summed up:
In the end the Macbook Pro is a laptop with a soldered-on SSD and RAM, a battery secured with glue, not screws, a keyboard held in with rivets, a display and lid angle sensor no third party can replace without apple. But it has modular ports so I guess that’s something. But I don’t think it’s worthy of IFixIt’s four out of ten reparability score because if it breaks you have to face apple’s repair cost; with no repair competition they can charge whatever they like. You either front the cost, or toss the laptop, leaving me wondering “who really owns this computer?”
Apple doesn't make great computers for the money because they are doing everything possible to make sure that you don't actually own your computer, you just lease the hardware from apple and they determine how long it is allowed to function.
The lid angle sensor discussed in this video replaces a much simpler sensor that has been used in laptops for twenty years AND calibrating the sensor after a repair requires access to proprietary apple software that isn't accessible to either users or third party repair shops. There's no reason for this software not to be included as a diagnostic tool on your computer except that Apple doesn't want users working on apple computers. If your screen breaks, or if the fragile cable that is part of the sensor wears down, your only option to fix this computer is to pay apple.
How long does apple plan to support this hardware? What if you pay $3k for a computer today and it breaks in 7 years - will they still calibrate the replacement screen for you or will they tell you it's time for new hardware EVEN THOUGH YOU COULD HAVE ATTAINED FUNCTIONAL HARDWARE THAT WILL WORK IF APPLE'S SOFTWARE TELLS IT TO?
Look at this article talking about "how long" apple supports various types of hardware. It coos over the fact that a 2013 MacBook Air could be getting updates to this day. That's the longest example in this article, and that's *hardware* support, not the life cycle of the operating system. That is dogshit. That is straight-up dogshit.
Apple computers are DRM locked in a way that windows machines only wish they could pull off, and the apple-only chips are a part of that. They want an entirely walled garden so they can entirely control your interactions with the computer that they own and you're just renting.
Even if they made the best hardware in the world that would last a thousand years and gave you flowers on your birthday it wouldn't matter because modern apple computers don't ever actually belong to apple customers, at the end of the day they belong to apple, and that's on purpose.
This is hardware as a service. This is John Deere. This is subscription access to the things you buy, and if it isn't exactly that right at this moment, that is where things have been heading ever since they realized it was possible to exert a control that granular over their users.
With all sympathy to people who are forced to use them, Fuck Apple I Hope That They Fall Into The Ocean And Are Hidden Away From The Honest Light Of The Sun For Their Crimes.
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I was recently fortunate enough to win an auction for a piece of Wedding Peach merchandise I've been unsuccessfully trying to win online for years (at this point, literally decades) and it got me thinking about how lucky I am to not be starting my collection today.
Prices for all older, more obscure magical girl items have ballooned over the past ten years but Wedding Peach merchandise is definitely one of the worst offenders. It's not uncommon to see single manga volumes going for 10k yen, 20k yen or more for the picture books, and let's not even touch on the amount the toys go for (literally several thousand dollars a pop).
In an ideal world we'd have better access to the series itself at least (the Japanese release of the DVDs and manga, for example, are in high demand due to the manga being out of print for something like 28 years and the DVDs being a relatively limited run from 25 years ago). I understand it's unlikely that we'll be getting more fun toys or merchandise for the series, but it is truly bleak when people can't even access the series itself.
This isn't some lost media type thing, this is just capitalism and it solidifies why I feel a sense of duty to ruin my own collection in order to archive what I have. If my house burns down or washes away in a flood, I truly don't think I can restart my collection and have a fraction of what I have now ever again. It's too expensive and too time-consuming, I simply don't have another 25 years up my sleeve to dig through every possible website to try and find scraps of 90s Ciao magazine issues.
In that sense I feel like I should share what I have with others while I have the opportunity. Even if a teenager today falls for Wedding Peach like I did as a kid, they would need to be extremely wealthy to get these pieces together and I just don't think your ability to own the core of a series should come down to wealth alone.
Goodness knows I'm not wealthy and I had very little growing up, hence my collection took decades to get where it is now. I don't want people to have to endure all that just to see a picture book from 30 years ago or to see an obscure illustration from a Ciao paper bag given away for free in 1994.
The efforts of fans keep series like this alive long after most companies have dismissed their long term profitability (although I do see you Germany with your beautiful hardback manga editions and I thank you).
Not everyone wants to break down their collection for the benefit of others and I respect that (there are some things in my collection I don't want to pull apart either), but I appreciate the efforts of those who do and aspire to do better with my own archiving as I work to get Weddingpeach.net updated to celebrate 30 years of the manga series.
#personal#ramblings#OK was truly rambling there#pics are previews of some upcoming 1200 dpi scans#but archiving itself isn't just media files#it's sharing factual information like release dates and staff names#that can get pushed down in AI search results or largely ignored unless preserved#it's sharing your enjoyment of a series with others and what files you have#it's above all retaining passion for something long after profitability and general interest has waned#anime collecting#archiving and media preservation
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I'm Sorry
Lance Stroll x Fem!Reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
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My heart raced as Lance stormed out of our apartment after our explosive argument. The slamming door echoed in my ears, leaving a hollow ache in my chest. Tears blurred my vision as I sank onto the couch, trying to process the hurtful words we had exchanged. I never expected him to call me that name, never imagined he would suggest breaking up.
Hours passed like an eternity. I paced the living room, my anxiety mounting with every unanswered call and text message. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering? My mind conjured up the worst scenarios—accidents, emergencies, anything to explain his absence. Fear gripped me like a vice, squeezing tighter with each passing minute.
When Lance finally returned, the relief that flooded through me was quickly overtaken by a surge of anger. He looked tired and defeated as he stood in the doorway, his eyes avoiding mine.
"Where were you?!" I demanded, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and worry. "I've been calling and texting you all day! I thought something had happened to you!"
Lance sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I needed some space, Y/N. I'm sorry for worrying you."
His apology only fueled my frustration. "Space?! You disappear all day without a word, and you think that's okay? I thought… I thought you were dead, Lance!"
The weight of my words hung heavily between us. Lance looked stricken, his expression pained as he realized the depth of my fear.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured, stepping closer. "I didn't mean to scare you. I should have let you know I was okay."
Tears streamed down my cheeks, my emotions raw and tumultuous. "You can't just… disappear like that," I whispered, feeling the hurt and fear spill over. "I was so scared, Lance."
He nodded, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know. And I'm sorry. I messed up, Y/N. I messed up."
Silence stretched between us, heavy with unspoken apologies and regrets. Lance reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. My breath caught as he opened it, revealing a key fob with the Aston Martin emblem.
"I got this for you," he said quietly. "It's not to make up for what I said or what I did today. It's to show you how much I regret hurting you."
I looked at the key fob, its significance not lost on me. It was more than a gift—it was a plea for forgiveness, a symbol of his remorse.
"Lance…" I began, my voice wavering. "I don't know…"
He stepped closer, placing the key fob gently in my hand. "Please, Y/N. I love you. I never want to hurt you like this again."
I closed my fingers around the key fob, feeling its weight and the weight of his words. Could I forgive him? Could I let go of the hurt and anger that had consumed me all day?
"Lance," I whispered, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes. "I love you too."
He pulled me into his arms, holding me close as we stood there in the doorway. The tension between us slowly melted away, replaced by a tentative hope for reconciliation.
The Aston Martin sat outside, its sleek lines reflecting the streetlights. It wasn't just a car—it was a promise. A promise to communicate better, to cherish each other, and to navigate the bumps and curves of our relationship with more care.
As Lance held me, I knew that forgiveness wasn't easy, but it was possible. And as we stood together, embracing the fragile yet resilient bond we shared, I dared to believe that we could overcome even our darkest moments, stronger together than we had ever been apart.
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taglist:
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal l l @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi i @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess s @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye
#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#charles leclerc#f1 x reader#lewis hamilton#logan sargent fluff#f1 smut#carlos sainz x reader#lando x you#x reader#lando x reader#max verstappen x reader#lance stroll angst#lance stroll#lance stroll x reader#lance stroll imagine#lance stroll x you#lance stroll fluff#lance stroll x y/n#ls18#aston martin f1#f1 2024#fa14#fernando alonso#lando norris imagine#f1 imagine#max verstappen imagine
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Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | Chapter Three
✑ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?
pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader
genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love
word count: 8.1k+
warnings: This chapter in particular is written from oc's perspective, oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking, mentions of unhealthy parental relationships (attempts for arranged marriage), Oc being a total boss at work bc she is amazing at her job, and ofc more cute & meaningful Yoon and OC interactions (I love them 🥹)
now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets
a/n: GUYS, I'm getting better at updating! It only took me a little over a month to get this chapter out vs two months last time. I'm going to keep trying to improve, but TYSM for your patience! I'm really proud of how this series is going so far, and this chapter omg...i just hope you enjoy hehehe. Anyway, this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and sorta beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!
Series Masterlist | next chapter >>
The past week and a half has been a whirlwind. Meetings, studio sessions, and preparations for “Suchwita” have consumed your days and nights. The tight deadlines and intense work pace have kept you on your toes, but there’s a growing excitement within you for the new venture. Today marks the first day of recording "Suchwita," and you find yourself buzzing with anticipation. Determined to ensure everything goes smoothly, you decide to arrive at the studio early to oversee the final preparations.
As you step into the makeshift studio space, you're greeted by a flurry of activity. Camera operators are setting up angles, lighting technicians are adjusting the brightness, and set designers are putting the final touches on the sleek, intimate set that will serve as the backdrop for the show.
The set has a warm, inviting aura with dark wood paneling, a cozy seating area, and a small bar stocked with various bottles of whiskey and soju.
You're impressed by how quickly everything has come together.
“Yoongi-ssi, good morning,” you call out as you approach Yoongi, who is already surveying the room. You notice him glance at you from the corner of his eye as you walk towards him. You have to admit, he looks great. The crew has styled him in denim blue jeans and a navy blue sweater, a casual yet polished outfit that complements the professional yet relaxed atmosphere of the set. It’s clear he arrived before you.
“Good morning __-ssi,” Yoongi replies, giving you a small smile. “Everything ready?”
“We’re almost there. Just a few final touches, and we should be good to go.”
“Great,” he nods, briefly scanning around the set. “The place looks better than I imagined.”
“I’m glad you think so,” you say with a satisfied expression. “We wanted it to reflect your personality and create an atmosphere where you and your guests can have open, honest conversations. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Pretty excited, actually,” he says, folding his arms in a composed manner. “A little nervous, but mostly excited. How are you and the rest of the team holding up with all the new developments?”
“We’re managing,” you say with a chuckle. “It’s been a lot of late nights and early mornings, but everyone’s excited about ‘Suchwita.’ It’s something different and refreshing. I think we’re all equally eager to see it succeed.”
Yoongi nods thoughtfully, taking a moment to soak in the details of the set. “It’s all coming together pretty fast. Do we know for sure who we’ll have on for the next few recordings?”
“We do,” you reply, “We’ve lined up a few other artists for the following episodes, including some from different genres. Your fellow members will also join as soon as their schedules permit. I think it’s going to be a good mix. Also, if there’s anyone in particular you’d like to have as a guest, just let me know. I’m sure we can coordinate it.”
“I’ll consider that,” Yoongi says, genuinely pleased. “I appreciate all the hard work you’ve put into this by the way. I know the timeline has been tight.”
“Well, it’s been a team effort,” you say, smiling warmly. “But thank you. It’s been fun, even if a bit hectic now and then. I have to say, it’s been nice working closely with you, Yoongi-ssi. You’re very dedicated to your craft and I think more often than not, we tend to see eye to eye.”
Yoongi seems to blush slightly at your compliment but maintains his composure. “Good to know you like me after fifteen days,” he says, a playful glint in his eyes. “I was starting to think this partnership might be a bit one-sided, especially after our chat during that smoke break a while ago.”
His lighthearted remark brings you back to that brief smoke break behind the building. It was a simple, candid moment, but it left a lasting impression, making you feel like you and Yoongi were finally starting to become good colleagues. The easy rapport that’s developed between you two since then is a welcome change from the often formal interactions with other team members.
“Well, if I recall correctly,” you counter, “You said you only like me ‘enough.’ That’s not quite the same as actually liking someone and wanting to work with them.”
Amused, Yoongi’s smirk grows. “It was implied, wasn’t it? You know I wouldn’t work with you if I didn’t actually like you.”
“Really?” you say, raising an eyebrow, your tone teasing.
“I have no reason to lie to you, __-ssi.” Yoongi insists, his voice light but his gaze steady. There’s a moment of playful tension in the air, both of you smiling as you challenge each other with your eyes.
“Interesting,” you reply, tilting your head slightly. Though mutually taunting each other, there’s something about Yoongi’s words and tone that still feels reassuring, grounding even.
Before either of you can exchange another word, you hear footsteps nearing behind you. Turning, you see Kim Namjoon entering the studio with a warm smile on his face. He’s dressed casually yet stylishly, exuding the effortless charisma that has made him a beloved figure among fans.
“Morning,” Namjoon greets, his voice carrying a familiar depth. He adjusts the bottom of his shirt, giving the studio a once-over. “I hope I’m not late or anything.”
Approaching Namjoon, you greet him with an inviting smile and extend your hand for a handshake. His response is equally friendly, and there’s a sense of gentle confidence coming from him, as any good leader should have.
“It’s wonderful to meet you, __-nim,” Namjoon responds, shaking your hand warmly. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Yoongi-hyung.”
Somewhat taken aback by the bit of information, you share a glance with Yoongi, who briefly meets your eyes before averting his gaze back to Namjoon. A faint rosy tint colors his cheeks once again.
“This place looks fantastic. You’ve really outdone yourselves,” Namjoon continues.
“Thank you,” you say, feeling a surge of pride. “We wanted to create a space where our guests feel comfortable and can have open, honest conversations. I think we’ve achieved that.”
Namjoon nods in agreement, taking in the surroundings with a thoughtful expression. “It definitely feels welcoming. I’m looking forward to seeing it all come together in the end.”
“Congratulations on your new album by the way,” you add. “I’m sure Indigo is going to be a success, especially amongst your fans who have been waiting for another solo from you for quite some time.”
“Thanks, it’s been a journey and I’m glad to have such a loyal fanbase who continue to support me for the last nine-plus years. It always lifts my spirits.”
“Absolutely, and you deserve it too,” you reply. “I’ve been a huge supporter of The Last Shadow Puppets for over ten years myself, and I think I’ve officially become their gatekeeper.” As you allow yourself a light chuckle, the two in front of you smile in return. Yoongi looks like he wants to press further but chooses to remain silent.
“Well anyway,” you shift topics due to the minor lull, “we should get started.”
Namjoon nods approvingly. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
“We’ve got a brief rundown for you,” you say, motioning towards a table with a few scripts and notes. “We’ll start with a casual chat to set the tone, then delve into some of your recent projects and thoughts on the music industry. We want it to be as natural and spontaneous as possible, so don’t worry about sticking too closely to the script. Also, we know ‘Indigo’ won’t be officially released for two more days, but ‘Suchwita’ is premiering on the 5th. That said, we are filming ahead of time so Yoongi might guide the conversation as if your album’s already been released.”
“Sounds good,” Namjoon says, his relaxed demeanor showing his readiness to go with the flow. “Anything specific you want me to prepare for?”
“No, just be yourself,” you reply with a reassuring smile. “That’s what this show is all about. Authentic conversations, nothing forced. Yoongi-ssi will take the seat on the right of the camera and Namjoon-nim, you’ll be on the left.”
“Got it,” Namjoon says, giving you a thumbs up. He then turns to Yoongi. “Hyung, ready to show off your hosting skills?”
Yoongi chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “We’ll see how it goes. It’s my first time doing something like this, so I’m just hoping not to embarrass myself.”
“You’ll do great,” Namjoon says confidently, giving Yoongi a supportive pat on the back. “Just be your usual, charming self.”
As the crew finishes their preparations and the cameras start rolling, you stand off to the side, monitoring the setup and ensuring everything runs smoothly. The room falls silent as the red recording light flickers on.
Yoongi takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair.
“Welcome, everyone, to the first episode of ‘Suchwita…time to drink with Suga.’ I’m your host, Min Yoongi, and today we have a very special guest. Someone who’s not just a fellow artist but a good friend and our BTS band leader, Kim Namjoon.”
“Happy to be here,” Namjoon says with a grin. “And thanks for the drink.” He picks up his glass of whiskey and raises it in a mock toast.
Yoongi chuckles and lifts his own glass. “Cheers, Namjoon-ah. Let’s dive in. I wanted to start by talking about your new album, Indigo. It’s been out for a few days now, and it’s already making waves. How are you feeling about the responses?”
Namjoon takes a sip before answering, his demeanor relaxed. “It’s been amazing. The fans have been so supportive, and it’s really encouraging to see people connecting with the themes and messages in the album. I wanted it to be something that reflects where I am in my life right now, both musically and personally.”
“That’s something I’ve always admired about your work,” Yoongi says, his tone genuine. “You’re not afraid to be vulnerable and share your thoughts and experiences. I think that’s why so many people resonate with your music.”
“It’s something we all strive for, isn’t it?” Namjoon replies, looking thoughtful. “To create art that’s true to ourselves and that speaks to others. I think it’s all about finding that balance between vulnerability and strength that can make music so relatable. Speaking of which, I’m excited to hear more about your upcoming album, D-Day. What can fans expect?”
Yoongi takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “D-Day is a very personal project for me. It’s a reflection of my journey and everything I’ve been through, especially over the past couple of years. There’s a lot of introspection and a lot of different sounds I’ve experimented with. I wanted it to be an honest portrayal of where I am right now.”
“That sounds incredible,” Namjoon says, leaning forward. “I know the fans are going to love it. You’ve always had a way of capturing emotions in your music that’s really powerful.”
As the conversation continues, you observe Namjoon closely, impressed by his ability to articulate his thoughts with clarity and depth. Yoongi’s previous nervousness has also subsided from the way he easily navigates the conversation, speaking with a similar passion and conviction as Namjoon.
The pair have a natural rapport that is captivating to watch, and their insights into the creative process are both fascinating and inspiring.
After about an hour, when the first taping wraps up, the crew applauds as Yoongi and Namjoon stand and share a brief hug.
“Well we did it,” Yoongi says, looking relieved. “Thanks for being my first guest.”
“Anytime,” Namjoon replies, grinning. “You did great, Yoongi I think this show is going to be a hit.”
“Great job, both of you.” You approach the two with a smile, earning their attention. “Fans are going to love seeing you two together once this releases. It’ll set the tone for the rest of the episodes. Thanks again, Namjoon, for being here. Your support means a lot.”
“It was my pleasure,” Namjoon replies, returning your smile. “I can’t wait to see how the show turns out.”
Just as you’re about to head off to the production room, Namjoon briefly checks his phone and then looks at Yoongi. “Hey, how do you feel about grabbing some lunch at the cafeteria? It’s been a while since we had a proper meal together.”
Yoongi’s face lifts at the suggestion. “I’m up for it. I’m starving.”
Namjoon then shifts his gaze at you. “What about you __-nim?”
You hesitate for a moment, feeling an obvious pang of hunger. You hadn’t eaten much this morning other than a few strawberries. However, you don’t want to intrude on their time together.
As you debate whether to decline the invitation and catch up on Taehyung’s whereabouts or attend to your next work projects, Yoongi speaks up. “The more the merrier,” he says.
“Yeah, if you don’t have anything pressing we’d love to have you join us,” Namjoon adds, the same warm smile on his face.
Your eyes shift between the two men standing in front of you, sincerity evident in their expressions.
“Okay, sure, I could go for something to eat,” you reply, nodding.
With a collective agreement, the three of you make your way to the cafeteria. Once there, Yoongi opts for a heaping plate of bulgogi, his eyes gleaming at the sight of the colorful vegetables and perfectly marinated beef. Namjoon selects a fresh, savory bowl of stir-fried noodles himself, while you choose a hearty bowl of ramen, steam rising from the rich broth.
Despite the bustling lunch hour, you manage to find a table near the large windows. The sunlight streaming through gives you a much-needed boost of energy.
“Here’s to a successful first episode,” Namjoon says, raising his glass of water in a toast.
“Cheers,” you and Yoongi respond in unison, clinking glasses.
As you start to dig into your meals, Namjoon turns to Yoongi. “So, what’s the lineup gonna look like for the next few episodes?”
Yoongi takes a sip of his drink before answering. “We’re planning on bringing in more artists from other groups, a couple of comedians, and maybe some actors. We want to keep it diverse and not just stick to musicians. But I’d also like to get the rest of our members on the show too at some point.”
“That’s smart,” Namjoon agrees, taking a bite of his noodles. “It’ll keep the conversations dynamic and appeal to a broader audience.”
“You know,” you chime in, “I think one of the strengths of ‘Suchwita’ is going to be its versatility. Yoongi, your ability to connect with people from different backgrounds will be a huge asset.”
Yoongi smiles appreciatively. “Thanks. I just hope I can keep up the energy and bring out the best in each guest.”
“You will,” Namjoon says confidently. “Just be yourself. That’s what people are tuning in for—the real Yoongi, having real conversations. Fans like seeing how well you can hold your whiskey too. It’s all part of the charm.”
Yoongi chuckles at the sheer truth of it all. “It’s nice to be able to do something like this, to be honest. Not just for the fans, but also for our colleagues who we can spotlight and bring further appreciation to.”
“I know what you mean, man.” Namjoon swallows another mouthful of noodles and then directs his attention to you. “I don’t imagine you’ll be a guest on the show will you?”
“Definitely not,” you reply, shaking your head. “I’ll be in the background, like a puppet master.”
“Ah, gotta make sure hyung says the right stuff huh? Trust me, I’d be the first to understand that,” Namjoon chuckles before continuing.“I feel like you’d be a natural on the show though. I, for one, would make sure to watch.” There’s a suggestive undertone in his words but you’re quick to waive it off. It’s probably just your imagination anyway.
“I wouldn’t mind having an excuse to enjoy some old-fashioned whiskey at work,” you reply. “It’s been a long-time favorite of mine.”
“Oh, you like it too?” Namjoon’s eyes widen unexpectedly. “No wonder you and Yoongi work well together.”
Intrigued, Yoongi looks at you, and it’s now that you realize he’s chosen to take the seat next to you instead of Namjoon. If you leaned any further towards him, you’re certain you’d catch the scent of smoked wood and citrus. “I always keep a bottle in my producing room these days,” he admits, and like Namjoon there’s a slight implication behind his words.
Before entertaining any further thoughts about it, however, you playfully snort in reply. “Is that what you’re doing up there at 10 pm? Having your whiskey? Here I’ve been thinking you were busy mixing your tracks.”
Yoongi shrugs, meeting your teasing tone. “I can do both. I’m good at multitasking.”
A giggle escapes your lips as you land a gentle, but firm swat on his arm. The unsuspecting action would have taken you all aback if you weren’t already amused by the conversation. “Yoongi-ssi,” you feign a scold, “no one’s actually good at multitasking.”
“So what are you saying? I’m half-assing it?” He’s grinning ear to ear now, his gummy smile undeniably cute. For a split second, it causes a blooming sensation in the pit of your stomach. But no, stop—you fold your arms, determined to maintain composure.
“I’m just saying that I’ll believe it when I see it.”
As if in a challenge, Yoongi narrows his eyes at you while Namjoon continues watching the scene unfold from across the table, eyes darting between the two of you. “You’ll have to come up to my producing room sometime,” Yoongi says. “It’s the only way I can prove it to you.”
“Mhm, right.” You share a knowing look with Yoongi, his dark eyes dancing with what can only be described as mischief. Being that his music equipment is on the 17th floor, which is reserved for Hybe artists only, you haven’t even considered venturing to the upper halls.
“You really should see his producing room __-nim,” Namjoon chimes after being a spectator for longer than he’d like. “He’s got an insane setup up there.”
“We’ll see,” you reply simply, “Maybe.”
From the remainder of your meal, the conversation shifts to lighter topics as Yoongi recounts a funny story about trying to write lyrics late at night and accidentally sending them to his accountant instead of Taehuyng. Namjoon bursts out laughing, nearly spilling his water, while you shake your head in amused disbelief.
“Did they give you any financial advice on your lyrics?” you prob.
“Surprisingly, no.” Yoongi replies with a chuckle. “But I got a very confusing email the next morning.”
“We should do this more often,” Namjoon interjects once he finishes his noodles, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “It’s good to catch up, and it’s great getting to know you too, __-nim. I’m glad you could join us.”
“Well, thanks for inviting me,” you say with a smile of gratitude. “It’s been nice.”
After lunch concludes, you part ways with Yoongi and Namjoon. They head off to a meeting with the rest of the members, while you return to your office to tackle a pile of reports. If you hadn’t been so focused on making your way back, you might have noticed Yoongi sneaking a final glance at you over his shoulder.
Later that evening, after a long day of preparations and discussions with your team, you finally head home. The events of the day still linger in your mind, but a sense of accomplishment accompanies your fatigue as the first episode of 'Suchwita' is already being edited for release.
How is it that tomorrow is already the first day of December? Time flies.
As you unlock the door to your apartment and step inside, your phone buzzes with a notification. It’s a message from your parents, asking for the second time if you’ll be coming home for the holidays. You recall your mother’s earlier message mentioning someone she wanted to introduce you to—a potential husband. You had seen through her request instantly but had delayed your reply.
A pang of guilt now tugs at your heart as you finally type out your response, carefully explaining that you have a new project to film and won’t have many days off. You promise to try and visit around New Year’s instead, hoping you’ll be better mentally prepared then.
Setting your phone down, you realize you haven’t heard from Taehyung today. Usually, he checks in or shares a quick update about his schedule. You wonder if everything is alright with him but decide not to overthink it, making a mental note to reach out to him tomorrow.
After changing into more comfortable clothes, you settle down on the couch with a cup of tea. The quietness of your apartment is a stark contrast to the lively energy of the production set.
As you sip your tea, you start to relax, but then your phone buzzes again. This time, it’s a message from Taehyung. You quickly open it, relieved to see his name.
Tae 💚: Hey, sorry I didn’t check earlier. It’s been a crazy day. How did the first taping go with Yoongi and Namjoon?
Smiling, you type out a reply.
You: It went really well. We should have everything edited and ready for upload by Monday. How about you? Everything okay?
Tae 💚: Good to hear! Yeah, everything’s okay on my end. Just a full day with shoots and meetings with Bang PD. I’m sorry we didn’t get to have our usual lunch together 🙁
You: Me too. Maybe tomorrow?
Tae 💚: I should be able to. Let me know when you decide to head down. By the way…look [attached an image]
The second you see the image of farm-fresh strawberries in a vibrant green container, you nearly leap from your seat. You and Taehyung love fruit, especially the ones from the local farmers market where they have the best variety. You like to go every other weekend, at the same time, if you could. The only unfortunate part is that to keep down rumors, Taehyung and you often shopped separately as if strangers, then reconvened in a private location to show each other your purchases. Often, he’d come to your place for a meal afterward.
It wasn’t an ideal system since you’d like to be out with Taehyung more freely, but despite the crowds, the public was always quick to recognize him. This coming Saturday is the next time you both planned to go, but the image looks like he’s already been there.
You: What?! 😭 You went to the farmers market without me??
Tae 💚: Oh, no! I wouldn't dream of it! This is the last container I have at my house, so we need to go soon. Saturday can’t come soon enough!
You: Okay good, because I like going together haha. I need more mangos and oranges! I ate my last orange today and got sad about it.
Tae 💚: 🤣 You sound like Yoongi-hyung. He loves oranges too. The two of you have more similarities in food and drinks than I thought. Has he offered you a drink of his whiskey yet?
The question surprises you. Had Yoongi told him what happened between the two of you at lunch?
You: How did you know that?
Tae 💚: Wait, really? I was just asking because he likes to offer it to me whenever I visit him in his studio. He really asked you to have a drink with him? __?
You: Yes. After we filmed, we all decided to grab lunch. Long story short, Yoongi said he had whiskey in his producing room and said I should come up sometime. I haven’t even been to the 17th floor yet.
Tae 💚: You should take him up on the offer! Go see what he’s got going on up there __. His studio is pretty immaculate.
You: Hmm, I don't know. It was a pretty informal invite, to be honest, and I’m not technically allowed up there.
Tae 💚: Don’t think so much about it. It’s clear that you and Yoongi are work partners now, so no one will think twice about you being on the floor. Also, you can always come up and visit me. I’m down the hall from Yoongi’s room.
You: We’ll see.
Tae 💚: What? You don’t want to come up and see me? I always visit you. 😭
You: Fine, fine. I’ll come up to see you one of these days, but only you. I have no business knocking on Yoongi’s door while he’s busy with his album tracks.
Tired, you shut off your phone. Your thoughts drift back to the moments shared with Yoongi and Namjoon during lunch. It was nice getting to know Namjoon for the first time, as you’ve been curious about him since he’s been the leader of BTS for the past nine years. There’s a similarity you both share; leadership experience.
You feel like you got closer to Yoongi as well, with the way you both easily responded to each other’s quips. But where did that playful swat come from? That’s the kind of behavior you reserve for friends only. Was Yoongi starting to become more than a colleague?
The idea sends an unexpected rush through your veins.
With the first of December being tomorrow, it’s coming up on three weeks of working side by side with Yoongi. You meant it when you said working with him has been enjoyable, as you’ve found that his meticulous nature complements your own. His dry humor is one you’ve particularly come to appreciate too.
Yes, finding common ground on some decisions can be tricky. There have been moments where you’ve both stood firm on your perspectives, each believing in the merit of your ideas. However, even amid disagreement, there is always mutual respect extended toward each other. Yoongi listens intently, considering your points before responding, and you do the same for him.
Given the nature of it all, you have a feeling you’ll become better acquainted not only with Yoongi but also with the rest of his members. After all, you’re already best friends with Taehyung, who’s quite the networker. He’s been your anchor in this new environment since day one, to be honest, always ready with a smile or a word of encouragement.
Taking another sip of your tea, you lean your head back against the couch, staring up at the blank ceiling, lost in thought.
You should truly learn to savor the quiet moments because, for the remainder of the week, you don’t get a second to spare. Lunch with Taehyung was abruptly cut short by an unforeseen team emergency, and Yoongi’s packed schedule left little room for more than fleeting glimpses. By the time Saturday morning rolls around, you consider yourself fortunate to have the weekend mostly free of work demands.
The crisp chill of early December invigorates you as you wake up refreshed, eager for the farmers market trip you’ve been looking forward to all week. After a quick breakfast, you bundle up in a cozy scarf and jacket and head to the familiar meeting spot where you and Taehyung always begin your market visits.
When you arrive, Taehyung is already there, a familiar baseball cap perched on his head to help keep a low profile. He looks up and waves when he sees you, a bright smile lighting up his face.
"Hey! You made it," Taehyung says as you approach.
"Of course, I wouldn't miss this," you reply, grinning back. "I need my mango and orange fix."
"Well, you're in luck. They have some really good ones today," he says, carefully pointing towards the nearby stalls that overflow with colorful fruits. The market appears to be alive with vibrant colors and enticing scents, and as the crowds grow, vendors enthusiastically call out their specials, adding to the lively atmosphere.
“See you on the other side?” you ask.
He nods, and you both venture into the market, maintaining an appropriate distance but always within sight. You exchange occasional glances and smiles while picking out the ripest mangos, juiciest oranges, and a few baskets of the strawberries he teased you about earlier in the week.
As you weave through the stalls, you soon get lost in the joy of discovering fresh, local products, comforted by the knowledge that Taehyung's just a few stalls away.
After about an hour, you reconvene at a quiet corner of the market, both carrying bags filled with fruits and other goodies.
"Successful haul?" Taehyung asks, eyeing your bags.
"Definitely," you reply, holding up a mango triumphantly. "How about you?"
"Got everything I wanted," he says, showing off his own bags filled with strawberries, grapes, and a few other items. "These will be perfect for a smoothie, or a fruit salad."
"How about we head back to my place and one of those? If you have time."
“Yes, I definitely have time,” he agrees, a genuine excitement in his voice.
Just as you start walking towards your apartment, a sudden movement catches your eye—a rogue orange rolling towards your feet.
Puzzled, you pick it up and look around, thinking it must have come from a nearby vendor or another shopper.
"Looks like you've found your orange," Taehyung remarks with a chuckle.
Just then, you spot a familiar figure sprinting towards you, with another following closely behind.
"Namjoon, seriously? I asked you to hold the bag for not even five seconds!" Yoongi calls out, his tone a mix of amusement and exasperation. "You're going to start a fruit-rolling revolution."
“Hey, it got away from me, man!” Namjoon defends his clumsiness, laughing. “Sorry about that," he adds sheepishly, not yet realizing who he's approaching.
“__-nim!” He abruptly stops in his tracks when he recognizes you and Taehyung in front of him. You offer the orange to him instinctively, feeling a bit startled.
“Thanks,” Namjoon says, taking the orange from your hand. He looks you straight in the eye, then at Taehyung before slowly breaking into a full smile. “I thought I saw the two of you back there, but Yoongi didn't believe me. When did you guys get here? Yoongi and I arrived about twenty minutes ago."
"About an hour ago," Taehyung replies casually.
"Man, you should have let us know. We could have come as a group!”
The remark catches you off guard, as this is the first time the four of you have been in such close proximity, let alone on a group outing.
Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly in response. “I had plans with __.”
Namjoon chuckles, glancing between all of you. “Well hey, I understand. I’m just saying, I’d be fun to hang out outside of work sometime.”
“But, this is our thing,” Taehyung counters, a bit possessively, in a platonic sense, of course.
Beside Namjoon, Yoongi stands with a single bag of oranges in his hand and nothing else. His eyes widen slightly at Taehyung's words, glancing at the bag of oranges nestled among the other fruits you're holding.
"You have a thing?" Yoongi asks, his tone a mix of genuine surprise and a hint of amusement.
"Yeah, we come here often," Taehyung answers, a small smile playing on his lips. "We're both fruit fanatics!"
"Right," Yoongi nods slowly, seeming to process this new information. "Well, it makes sense then. This is the best place to get the freshest fruit.”
“Is that a pineapple, Tae?” Namjoon’s eyes instantly light up when they spot the spiky fruit peeking out of one of Taehyung’s grocery bags.
A grin spreads across Taehyung’s face, like oil on water. “Yeah, it is. I found it at a little hidden stall. It’s easier to show you than to explain. I can take you over if you’d like.”
“Lead the way,” Namjoon agrees eagerly, then glances over at you and Yoongi. “You guys coming too?” You both exchange a quick look before shaking your head.
"We'll stay here," you say. "The crowd's a bit much."
"Alright, we’ll be back in a few minutes,” Taehyung nods. He and Namjoon begin weaving their way back into the bustling market, leaving you and Yoongi in the quiet corner.
Yoongi leans against a nearby wall and lets out a contented sigh. “This is nice. It’s been a hell of a week.”
You nod, taking a moment to appreciate the calmness as well. “It has. But look,” you gesture casually to each other’s bags, “at least we scored some amazing fruit from it.”
Yoongi chuckles softly. “So we did. I’m tempted to have one of my oranges now, but I think I'll save them for later. How’s the rest of the weekend looking for you by the way?”
Just some editing work for 'Suchwita' and maybe a bit of relaxation. What about you?"
“I might grab a few drinks with Namjoon, but I plan on spending most of my time in the studio. I’ve been fine-tuning my album tracks and recently discovered a new artist who’s been a huge source of inspiration.”
“Really?” You’re beyond intrigued, always open to hearing about new music. “Who are they?”
Yoongi gives you a knowing look. “I think you’re already pretty familiar with them.” A sparkle beams in his eyes as he waits for you to connect the dots. It takes you a few seconds before your entire face lights up with a big smile.
“No way,” you exclaim, “The Last Shadow Puppets?!”
He nods, returning your smile. Yoongi’s admission about The Last Shadow Puppets sends a warm thrill through you.
“I’m glad you gave them a listen,” you say with a pleased grin. “I consider Alex Turner to be one of the best, if not the best, lyricists of all time.”
“Well, I might just have to agree with you there. The depth of his lyrics are pretty damn genius. After you mentioned the band the other day, I got curious and decided to dive into their discography. I’ve listened to everything they’ve put out now, all in one sitting.” He pauses, a slight smirk playing on his lips.
It’s as if he’s proud to share this with you.
“I didn’t realize you had such an impressive ear for music, __-ssi,” he adds, teasing lightly.
“Excuse you? I’ve been known to have impeccable taste, for your information,” you fire back, feigning offense. "I might even have better taste than you."
Yoongi raises an eyebrow skeptically. “Is that so?”
You nod confidently. "Absolutely. I've got a knack for finding hidden gems."
“Alright then, impress me. Recommend me something else. What's the next masterpiece on your list?”
You lean in closer, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Oh, I could do that," you begin, "but then you'd owe me cigarettes for a week."
Yoongi's eyes widen slightly, a similar competitiveness reflecting in his gaze. "Bold words. Are you sure you can back them up?"
“There’s no doubt I can, Yoongi-ssi. Have you ever listened to 'Candy' by Paolo Nutini? If you haven't, you're seriously missing out."
"Candy? I don't think I know that one."
"You're in for a treat then,” you reply. "'Candy' is one of those songs that hook you from the first listen. Give it a try, and if you don't fall in love with it, I'll cook you kimchi jigae for lunch on Monday. But if you do love it, you're buying me cigarettes for a week."
Yoongi chuckles, unable to resist the challenge. "Alright, deal. I can't say no, especially with Taehyung showing off the food you make for him nearly every chance he gets. You’re quite the cook, it seems.”
With a satisfied grin, you pull out your phone. "I'll send you the link to the song so it'll be easier for you to find when you get a chance to listen."
Yoongi nods, already unlocking his phone. “Challenge accepted. But if I end up not loving it, I'm holding you to that bowl of kimchi jigae.”
“Sure thing,” you reply, unfazed. “But I’m already looking forward to those cigarettes, Yoongi-ssi. Make sure you get the good ones, okay?”
Yoongi chuckles in reply, shaking his head in amusement.
“I promise. Only the best ones for you, __-ssi.”
Monday arrives sooner than expected with the highly anticipated release of the first episode of 'Suchwita'. You're certain that the new production will be well received by the audience, but you know better than to prematurely declare its success. Even after approving the final edits over the weekend, you remind yourself to remain mindful of unexpected challenges lurking around the corner—roadblocks and last-minute changes that continually test your team's resolve.
Throughout the day, as the clock ticks towards evening, you monitor the episode's reception with bated breath. The first reviews trickle in within minutes, and initial viewer reactions are positive, gradually easing some of your tension.
By just past 7 pm, 'Suchwita' earns over three million views, its popularity evident as it spreads rapidly across the globe.
Amidst this whirlwind of emotions and the constant rush of notifications, a familiar buzz from your phone interrupts your thoughts.
Yoongi: Looks like I owe you some cigarettes
You smile, immediately recalling the recent wager the two of you made about Paolo Nutini's "Candy”. Truth be told, Yoongi’s reaction to the song has kept you on edge for days.
You: So, do you believe I have a good ear for music now? 🙃 I’m pleased you enjoyed the song, by the way.
Yoongi: It appears I do. The cigarettes are in my production room. Come by if you're up for it.
You blink at the screen, taken aback. Yoongi's producing room was his sanctuary, a place so personal and significant that the thought of being in that space felt almost invasive. You recall his casual remark last Wednesday about coming up to take a look, though it was unclear if it was just banter or a genuine invitation.
You: You sure it's okay for me to come up there? I don't want to disturb your creative zone.
Sending the message, you wait, half-expecting him to retract the invitation or reassure you in some way. Instead, his reply comes almost instantly.
Yoongi: It's quiet here, and I wouldn’t mind some good company.
Your mind wrestles with curiosity and caution as you reread the text. After a moment's deliberation, you type your response.
You: Okay, I can come up for a few minutes
Once in front of the 17th floor where Yoongi’s production room is located, you pull out your phone to send him a text, notifying him of your arrival and the need to be let in. Just as you're about to send the message, however, the door suddenly swings open.
Standing before you is a man with soft eyes, gently pushing the door open. It's Park Jimin, looking visibly surprised to find you standing just inches away from the entrance. Behind him, Jungkook nearly bumps into him from the abrupt halt.
"Hey there," Jimin says, his surprise quickly transforming into a welcoming smile. "You must be __-nim, Yoongi's marketing manager, right?"
You nod, slightly unprepared for how quickly they've identified you. "Yes, that's me. Nice to meet you, Jimin, Jungkook," you reply warmly, extending your hand in greeting. Meeting them was inevitable, but you didn’t expect it to happen tonight.
Jungkook grins and nods in acknowledgment. "Nice to meet you too, __-nim. I’m guessing you’re here to see Yoongi-hyung?”
“For a little bit, yes.”
"Come on in then.” Jimin steps aside, gesturing for you to enter. “If Yoongi's expecting you, you're more than welcome. We'd take you straight to him if we weren't rushing off to a last-minute photoshoot. His room's just down the hall on the left. You can’t miss it."
“I completely understand,” you assure them gratefully. “Thank you both. It was nice meeting you.”
With a final smile, the pair exits the floor, leaving you to continue down the hallway.
It doesn't take long before you spot a slightly ajar door on the far left, casting a warm glow into the corridor—undeniably Yoongi’s production room. Without hesitation, you approach and knock gently on the dark oak, but there's no response. Trying again yields the same silence, leaving you uncertain if he can hear you. Deciding it may be better to push the door open, you do so with caution.
Inside Yoongi's production room, the atmosphere is cozy, filled with an array of musical instruments, a decent-sized couch, scattered music sheets, and a softly glowing computer screen displaying complex audio tracks. Taehyung and Namjoon were absolutely right when they said his space is immaculate because as you take in the details around you, you too conclude that it’s one of a kind.
Yoongi himself is at his desk, leaning over with an expression of intense focus. You're prepared to make a playful remark to capture his attention, but as Yoongi looks up, his bloodshot eyes stop you short. They are reddened and slightly glazed, with dark circles underneath—a stark contrast to the usual sharpness and clarity in his gaze. Even his posture seems weighed down by exhaustion, indicating just how hard he's been pushing himself, perhaps too hard.
“I see you found the place alright," he smiles weakly, though he does his best to keep his tone uplifted. "I’m glad you could come."
“Yoongi-ssi, are you okay?” You can’t stop yourself from asking, concern only tightening in your chest as you realize the extent of the strain he must be under.
Yoongi chuckles, rubbing his eyes as if to wipe away the fatigue etched into his face. “I might have overdone it this weekend,” he confesses, his voice heavy with weariness. “I’ve been working on this track nonstop, trying to get it just right. I just don’t think it’s good enough yet, and the minute I think I’ve finally made a break though, I’m back to square one.” Seeing him so drained and filled with self-doubt stirs something protective within you.
“Your work is incredible, Yoongi-ssi,” you say, your voice gentle but firm. “You pour so much of yourself into it, constantly striving for perfection, and that dedication is admirable. But sometimes, it’s important to take a step back, breathe, and allow yourself to be proud of your work. I believe in your talent as both an artist and a producer, and I'm confident that your music will be exactly what it needs to be.”
Yoongi looks at you for a moment, his tired eyes searching yours as if assessing your sincerity. Slowly, a small, appreciative smile forms on his lips. "Thanks," he murmurs, the weariness in his voice tempered by a hint of gratitude. "I think I needed to hear some of that tonight.”
Without another word, he leans back in his chair, letting out a deep sigh. His shoulders visibly relax, and for a brief moment, the weight of exhaustion seems to ease.
"Do you want to talk about what you've been working on?” you ask. “Sometimes bouncing ideas around helps."
Yoongi nods slowly, looking thoughtful. "Maybe that's exactly what I need right now," he admits, his tone more relaxed than before. He gestures to the leather couch near his desk, inviting you to sit.
As you settle into the comfortable leather couch, Yoongi begins to share his thoughts. He speaks about the challenges he's encountered with the track, detailing moments of doubt and frustration.
"I've been wrestling with this melody for weeks," he admits, leaning forward slightly. "It's like I can hear it in my head, but every time I try to put it down, it slips away."
He describes how he struggled to find the right melody, the perfect rhythm, and the lyrics that would convey exactly what he wanted to express.
"I want this track to resonate with people on a deeper level," he says earnestly, his eyes reflecting his determination. “But it's been tough trying to balance the beat with the lyrics."
As he delves deeper into his creative process, you notice a shift in his demeanor. His voice becomes more animated, his gestures more expressive as he shares anecdotes about late-night studio sessions, where ideas flowed freely, and moments of clarity when everything seemed to click into place.
"It's moments like those," he reflects with a smile, "that remind me why I love what I do."
Throughout the conversation, you offer supportive nods and occasional insights, encouraging Yoongi to explore different angles or suggesting ideas that might complement his vision. It becomes clear that bouncing ideas around, as you suggested earlier, is indeed helping him to clarify his thoughts and reignite his creative spark.
"You know," he muses after a thoughtful pause, "it's rare to find someone who gets it—understands the drive, the struggle. Most people just see the end result, not what it takes to get there."
You nod again, silently acknowledging the depth of what he shares. "I'm glad I can be here for you," you reply sincerely. "It means a lot that you trust me with this."
"Would you like a drink? Some whiskey, maybe?" Yoongi pops the question out of nowhere, catching you off guard, yet you don’t decline the offer.
"Sure, but only if you promise to get some rest after," you counter, half-joking, half-serious. He chuckles in response.
Rising from his seat, Yoongi walks to a small cabinet and pulls out a bottle of whiskey along with two glasses. As he pours the amber liquid, the room seems to exhale with him, the earlier tension melting away.
"Mind if I sit with you?" he asks, handing you a glass of whiskey and gesturing to the space beside you on the couch.
You nod in acceptance and take a sip of your drink, feeling the warmth of the whiskey spread through you.
"Thanks for coming up here," Yoongi says, his voice noticeably more relaxed than before. ”I didn't realize how much I needed a break until tonight.”
You nod, understanding the weight of creative pressures and the relentless pursuit of perfection. "It's important to recharge," you reply gently, raising your glass. "To moments like this—where we can step back and just be."
Yoongi clinks his glass against yours, a faint smile playing on his lips. "To moments like this," he echoes, taking a sip.
As the conversation flows, the evening unfolds into a rhythm of shared stories, musings about life, and occasional quiet moments where the only sound is the soft hum of the room.
“__-ssi,” he starts, swirling the whiskey in his glass, "I should really get you up here more often. This could be a thing. Whiskey breaks in my producing room."
You laugh, the sound light and genuine. "Count me in," you reply, raising your glass once more.
"And before I forget," Yoongi chuckles, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, "I owe you for introducing me to some new, kick-ass music."
"Why, thank you," you reply with a smile. "Much appreciated. You got the good kind too. You spoil me, Yoongi-ssi."
“You’re welcome. Can I be honest for a second though?”
“Sure.”
“Part of me was actually hoping I’d dislike ‘Candy’ because I had a feeling you make a mean kimchi jigae. But the song was too good; I had to pay it respect.”
“I told you you’d fall in love with it, Yoongi-ssi” you say, perhaps a bit cheekier than intended. “Let's start a new wager: I'll make my special homemade kimchi jigae for you.”
"Really?" His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas day.
"Yes, I will," you giggle, "as long as you keep taking my music recommendations."
"Deal," he says firmly, setting down his glass. He extends his hand for you to shake, and you both laugh at his sudden goofiness. “Thanks again for tonight, __-ssi, for everything.”
“Of course,” you reply. “I told you we’re teammates now, didn’t I?”
“After tonight, I think we could be friends too.”
As you both linger in the moment, the studio's door swings open, and a voice calls out, "Hey, Yoongi, are you still here?"
Yoongi glances towards the door and then back at you with a playful smirk. "Looks like I've got more company," he says, nodding towards the doorway.
I’ll let you get back to work," you say, gesturing towards his mixing board. "Can't wait to hear more of these tracks."
"Thanks," he says warmly, appreciating your encouragement. "And about that kimchi jigae…"
"You haven't forgotten?" you tease, raising an eyebrow.
“Never,” he replies with a grin, his eyes twinkling mischievously.
With a final wave, you leave Yoongi to his work, wondering if perhaps being friends wasn't so far-fetched after all. Only time would tell.
a/n: Hope you enjoyed it! Lmk what you think 🥰
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#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#bts fanfics#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts fluff#bts smut#bts scenarios#fic:thoseeyeschico#kookslastbutton
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Secrecy.
Authors note- hi everyone! I’m pretty new to all this and this is my first shot at writing. I’ve always been a spectator, just waiting on amazing authors to update their fics to reading one shots in the middle of the night cause I can’t sleep. I’ve always had ideas in my head about how I’d write and I decided to finally give it a try. Hopefully you’d all enjoy it. Also with that being said, please don’t be afraid to give me some advice on how I can get better as time goes on. 🫶🏼
Enjoy my loves!
Warnings- flirting, light swearing, nicknames, based in the late 40s. Kissing. Sneaking around, Best friend’s older brother. Sergeant James Barnes. Reader is 20 while Bucky is 24.
Genre- Oneshot! Fluff! Best Friends Brother.
You were sitting there at the dining table with your best friend Rebecca. Working on a school project you had to finish with her for your history class. Books laid out in front of you, papers, pencils. The sound of the front door opening was heard since the dining room was right by the front door of the small home. It was him, Rebecca’s older brother bucky. He was home from the base quite early today.
You’ve had a crush on him for a while, how couldn’t you? He was a sergeant, in the military, about to go fight in the war in a couple months. That crush reciprocated from Bucky, it had seemed like he felt the same way about you too. Which later came out to be very true. So you two had a little secret, a little secret relationship..no one knew about.
Not even Rebecca.
As you saw Rebecca get up and go to the kitchen to grab some snacks, Bucky came up behind you. He knew this was the perfect time too. The kitchen wall blocked off the area of the living room you were in. Your head turning to the side to where he was as you heard him, before he leaned in and kissed your lips passionately. His lips met in a fiery clash, soft yet insistent, moving with a rhythm that spoke of longing and urgency with yours. The warmth of his touch was intoxicating, every brush sending shivers down your spine. It was the way your lips fit perfectly within his, moving in sync, that made everything else fade into the background—a perfect balance of softness and intensity, leaving you two breathless and wanting more.
His lips were pliant and eager, parting slightly to deepen the connection, to draw the you closer. There was a slight pressure, firm and deliberate, as if to imprint the moment into a memory. The sensation was both tender and consuming, each movement speaking of unspoken words, of desire that couldn't be contained.
You were caught off guard of course, especially when you had turned your head and there was your boyfriend. You felt his lips on yours, before closing your eyes and kissing him back. The way he had bent down and had his hand on the back of your head, tilted upwards to get a good angle of your perfect lips on his . The warmth of your own breath and his mingled, and the world around you two faded away, leaving only the steady rhythm of your hearts and lips together.
“Is this how you say hello?...” you whispered to him in between kisses, when you pulled away just slightly for him to capture your lips again in a split second for a moment.
You could feel him pull away, to see if Rebecca was still in the kitchen. Hell, he could hear Rebecca going through the cabinets to find snacks or something.
To his luck, she was still in the kitchen. You had felt his lips right back on yours once again without even saying a single thing to you until he had finally pulled away to speak. He rested his forehead against yours, his thumb moving onto your cheek bone and caressing it gently before his thumb slid down to your bottom lip doing the same.
His lips curled into a soft smirk, his perfect little doll he absolutely adored with all his god damn being. It was almost surprisingly how Rebecca didn’t notice her big brother look at her own best friend with love in his eyes for you.
“What else do you want? A little love tap?” He teased you as he ran his thumb against your chin now.
You finally felt him pull his hands away from you, standing up straight as he fixed his uniform and took a shuffle back just in time as Rebecca had made her way back with some tea she had made. God, Rebecca was so oblivious to the point where it felt too easy. Too easy to the point it felt god damn suspicious.
“Let’s get this project over with so we can go to bed, unless you want Bucky to drive you home Y/N.” Becca said, setting the mug of tea in front you before taking a seat in the chair. Her face having a clear look of annoyance at the papers in front of her.
Bucky turned his head, looking at his little sister because he took a glance at you and cleared his throat a little.
“Why not tell dad to drop her off?” He spoke up. It felt like torture to say that, but he knew he had to play the game of keeping the relationship a secret.
Rebecca rolled her eyes and looked at her older brother before snickering at him.
“Well hello to you too, Why wouldn’t you wanna drop your girlfriend off?”
“WHAT?!” You and Bucky say in sync, shock spreading on his face while your cheeks turned completely red.
“What do you mean wha- oh come on, did you guys REALLY think I was that stupid..you guys aren’t exactly the best at hiding things. Especially since you two are always making out somewhere in the damn house.”
Buckys cheeks turned red as he rubbed the back of his neck, he honestly didn’t know what the hell to say to his little sisters revelation about her knowing everything. Clearly you were embarrassed, not to mention shocked about your best friend knowing. God you knew you and Bucky weren’t ever gonna hear the end of this. Not in a bad way really, more in an annoying way where she’d bring it up at every occasion she sees.
“Uh well…I-If that’s the case then yeah..I’ll drop Y/N off…unless she’s sleeping over.” Bucky said, before clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Ugh pervert..” Becca muttered in disgusted.
#40s bucky#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfic#1940s bucky#james bucky buchanan barnes#fanfic#imagine#james buchanan barnes#40s Bucky x reader#1940s James Buchanan Barnes#mcu fanfiction#bucky x y/n#Bucky Barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#1940s fanfic#james barnes#mcu bucky barnes#mcu 40s Bucky#Bucky40s#Bucky Barnes 40s x reader
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Yesssss I'll take and love any writing you feel like giving tbh. Hoarding it like a dragon. Cackling as I consume it
Logan looked down at you and stroked your forehead carefully. You were stable, but waiting for you to wake up was... nerve wracking anyway.
"She's coming back," Jean said gently. "It just- the protective state Charles put her in takes time."
"I did a number on her, huh?"
Jean patted his shoulder. "it's happened before. It's not just you, Logan. She touches things and she gets pulled under... The older something is, the more dangerous it is."
He nodded slowly and took a deep breath.
"But-"
"It's not safe for her to be around me," Logan said standing up. "Just keep me updated."
Jean closed her mouth and bit back a string of curse words. "Idiots," she muttered to you. "Men are idiots."
______________
Logan lurked in the shadows outside your classroom and watched. You looked like a corpse still. But, you were getting better. Teaching half days and recovering impatiently.
Today, you'd been... slow. Sitting most of the day. And it bothered him. Usually, before, you'd been up. Moving. Walking the room and keeping the kids on their toes. Dynamic. But- it was almost like you were a clock that needed rewound.
He frowned. Too much too soon. Leaning your cheek on your hand you look almost like you're falling asleep. He shook his head and folded his arms and leaned against the wall. Not sure what to do.
If he got too close to you, he might hurt you, but could he just leave you there?
Your head slid from your hand and he started forward, catching you before your skull could make contact with the wood and sighed, "C'mon princess. Time for bed."
"It's only 6-"
"It's almost 9," Logan said hefting you out of the chair easily. He'd have to talk to Charles. Clearly, you weren't ready to come back.
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pining & desperately waiting | javier peña
take the weight off his shoulders - chapter two
Chapter Summary | As much as he’s trying to keep his distance there is just something about you that Javier cannot stay away from. Drawn to you like a moth to a flame, so to speak. He's worried about you too, putting yourself in harms way for your work.
Chapter Warnings | Mutual pining, slow burn, sexual tension, flirting, mention of smoking and drinking alcohol, mention of drugs, drug deaths and the drug trade, explicit smut - masturbation (F)
Pairing | dbf!Javier Peña x F!Reader
Word Count | 3.2k
Authors Note | When I tell you I love this (specific) man, I am telling you I love him. He consumes me. Thank you to @hellishjoel for letting me scream about these two with her and helping me figure this chapter out! If you like this I would love for you to join me in my ask box for screaming and please consider reblogging to support me! If you enjoyed this, you can make a donation to my Ko-Fi if you'd like to support me that way.
I no longer use taglists. Please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs to be notified of new updates.
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You dream of him every night for a week after that night at the bar. They’re filthy, depraved sometimes, and you always wake up, slick pooling between your thighs, fingers working furiously before your alarm goes off to try a satiate you, or at least tide you over until you can climb back into bed that night and really take your time to imagine all the ways Javier would take you apart with his fingers, with his mouth, with his….
“Are you even listening to me?”
You want to answer honestly and say no, you were busy daydreaming about getting railed by your dad’s buddy, but when you look across the table and see your boss practically glaring at you, you realise it’s probably for the best to lie a little.
“Sorry,” You mumble, picking up your pen, “Didn’t sleep well, what were you saying?”
“The fundraiser tomorrow,” She speaks, “For Dylan’s foundation, would you be okay to cover it?”
You nod, because it makes sense for it to be you. Dylan had overdosed just over a year ago – seemingly on top of things, doing well in school and incredibly bright, found slouched over on a street corner, dead from an overdose before he’d been able to leave the small town for whatever bright lights he was destined for. He was just one of a string of drug-related deaths over the past twelve months – an ‘epidemic’ as they had coined it – the town too close to Mexico to escape the trade that Javier himself had worked so hard to quell. Dylan’s parent’s had set up a small foundation after his death, hoping to help other young kids who could be lured into this stuff to have other opportunities in their lives.
“What kinda thing are you thinking?” You ask, starting to jot down notes as she speaks.
“Just some reaction from people there, why they’ve decided to come out and support, maybe try and grab one of his parents, just the usual really, and we can run a story in the following days, might help drum up some more support for them if nothing else.”
You nod, doing your usual with your notes of underlining the important parts, making notes on the kind of questions you’ll ask when you speak to people, “How many words have I got to work with?”
“I think we can give them a page,” She says, looking to her boss who nods in agreement, “So whatever you produced for last month’s story, that should be good.”
You nod, making a note of that too, and then continue to zone out for the rest of the meeting as everyone talks amongst themselves, mind going right back to Javi and what he would feel like putting his weight on you, settling between your thighs. You really needed to get a grip.
“Oh, isn’t it so nice to see such a good turn out today?” Your mom gushes, looking around at what feels like the whole of Laredo milling about a number of stalls that are selling all sorts of different things.
“Sure is good to see,” Your dad agrees, putting his hands on your shoulders to give them a squeeze, “You want us to leave you to your reporting, pumpkin?”
The nickname makes you wince a little, a moniker from your early days, before you’d filled out into your body. It was cute, but at twenty-five years of age, you do sometimes wish he’d find something else to call you.
“I shouldn’t be too long,” You turn around and smile at him, “I can come and find you in a little while.”
You wander around, introducing yourself to a few people asking them questions and jotting down notes. You’ve just finished speaking to Martina, famous throughout town for owning her own candle business, about why she’s supporting the foundation, when you step back and feel two sturdy hands holding onto your waist. You’re about to turn around and slap whoever it is for touching you, when that deep voice hits your ears.
“Careful, querida,” Javier fucking Peña, “Almost stood on my foot.”
You whip around, mainly to put a bit of distance between the two of you, because it felt like his lips had been inches from your ear. He drops one of his hands, but keeps the other ghosting at your side, maybe to keep you steady more than anything as you wobble from the speed at which you’ve turned around.
“Maybe you shouldn’t stand too close then?” You offer, making sure it comes out more playful than anything, because actually, all you really want is for his body to press against you more often.
“Fair point,” He shrugs, “Thought I recognized you so I wanted to say hi,” He finally lets that other hand drop from your waist, “So hi.” Is... Is he nervous?
You chuckle a little, “Hi,” you respond simply with a smile, “I didn’t expect to see you here,” You say honestly, this wasn’t his kind of scene before, you can’t imagine it’s any more appealing to him now, “Didn’t think it was your kind of scene.”
He rubs a hand nervously over the back of his neck, “It’s not, I’ve been made to come,” He nods his head behind him where Chucho is talking to a group of other ranchers, “Apparently I’ve got to start showing my face more.”
“Well, it’s a nice face,” your mouth speaks before your brain can catch up with what it’s saying, you inwardly cringe when you realise what you’ve said, “I mean, I’m sure people are happy to see you around.” Is all you can think to say to try and get him to forget the weird compliment.
He seems to smile, but like it had been across the table almost two weeks ago, his smile seems forced, “Just wish I could skip the bullshit about everyone being proud of me.”
“But it’s true,” You shrug, moving away from the stall with him so other people can in front of you to look, “You did really good things out there.”
He scoffs now, shaking his head a little, “You shouldn’t believe everything you read in the newspapers, querida,” He speaks, “Surely you should know that more than anyone.”
You don’t know what he’s actually trying to say, but you decide to play it light, “Are you accusing me of lying in my stories, Peña?” You say with a smirk.
“Perhaps not you,” He offers, “But I know plenty of journalists who know how to twist a story to get what they want,” He looks down at his shoes, kicking at the gravel a little, “Just don’t want you thinking I’m something I’m not.”
“Been gone a long time,” You muse, “You might have to spend some time reminding me who you are.”
It’s flirting the lines of maybe being too much you think, but you’ve not said anything that’s not true. He has been gone a long time, and if what he’s said is anything to go by, he will have to remind you of who he is or show you how he’s changed.
“Not sure you’d like who I am now very much, querida.” He says simply.
You’re about to open your mouth to respond, tell him you’re pretty sure that wouldn’t be true and that there isn’t a thing he could do on this earth that would make you think he was a bad person, but before you can, Chucho is coming up behind him, a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Ah, mija,” He smiles at you, “You here alone?”
“Hey Chucho,” You greet with a smile, “Mom and dad are around somewhere, I’m just here working on a story.” You hold up your notepad and pen.
“Let’s see if we can’t find them, huh Javi?” Chucho muses to his son, “Get you a nice cold lemonade for when you’re finished?” He motions to the blazing sun and then back to you.
“Sounds lovely, thank you,” You motion over their shoulder to where Dylan’s parents are stood, “I just need to speak to them, and I’ll come and find you.”
Javi doesn’t say goodbye, just follows closely behind Chucho as they disappear into the crowds, leaving you to wander over to Dylan’s parents. They’re not strangers to the paper, your boss had written a story with them not long after Dylan’s funeral, trying to spread awareness as to just how deep the drug problem ran in town. The Laredo Morning Times had always been supportive to them, so you didn’t feel the same anxiety you normally did when gathering information for stories, cold calling or knocking on doors trying to introduce yourself before doors are swiftly shut in your face or phones are hung up with a ‘no comment’.
They’re warm with you as you speak to them, thanking you for coming, thanking the paper for agreeing to cover the event, they even smile, which for a pair who lost their only son in such a horrible way still shocks you for some reason. Their loss hasn’t defined them, only made them stronger, made them determined to stop their pain from happening to anyone else. You make a note to write something equally as poetic in your article.
The crowds are thinning out a little as the midday sun does its worst. You can feel beads of sweat gathering behind our knees and you curse the fact you hadn’t remembered your hat. You can feel the heat prickling your skin as you spot your parents, sitting on a picnic bench with Javi and Chucho sat opposite them. When you’re close enough to the table, you can see everyone has plastic cups full of lemonade, but there’s one, put in front of the spare spot on the bench next to Javi, that is pink in colour instead of the cloudy yellow of everyone else’s.
“You get everything you need?” Your dad asks, as you try and fight your legs over the bench in the most graceful way possible.
“Yeah,” You nod, “Think it’ll make a great piece, Dylan’s parents seem really positive about it all,” You pick up the cup and take a sip, pink lemonade, your favourite, “Thanks for this.” You nod in the direction of your dad.
“Don’t thank me, Javi got these,” He smiles, “Remembered you preferred pink lemonade and everything.”
It actually makes your heart swell in your chest. He was always thoughtful, even before he left. Observant almost to a fault. But even after all these years, all of his stress, everything he’s seen, he still knows you well enough to know you prefer the sweeter pink lemonade. You turn your head to him to find him already looking at you with a little smile on his face.
“Thank you.” You say quietly, sipping through the straw.
“You’re welcome, dulzura.”
Javier Peña is doing a piss poor job of staying away from you, even by his standards. He lasted less than a week before he was waltzing over to you, hands on your waist, buying you pink lemonade because he knows you prefer it. There hasn’t been a night where he hasn’t wrapped his fist around his cock and made himself cum over the thought of you. He finds it easier to drop off to sleep once he’s done it, but his nights are still fitful, full of nightmares, tossing and turning, waking up to sweat soaked sheets and a heaving chest. He wonders briefly, when he lies awake watching the dawn arrive through his curtains, whether your body next to him would ease his nightmares? But then he thinks what if it doesn’t. What if you have to wake up, look at him with those innocent doe eyes and see him for what he really is? No, he can’t let his darkness cloud you, you don’t deserve that, you deserve someone that going to be gentle with you, someone softer, not him with all his jagged edges.
He's currently sitting in his truck, just outside of the liquor store, contemplating how badly he wants that packet of cigarettes and the bottle of whiskey he’d driven out to buy. He’d done alright so far, chewing on his Nicorette gum, but his fingers are itching for the familiarity of a cigarette between his fingers, and he’d finished the bottle of whiskey last night.
Then, almost like he’s being punished by God, which would make sense really, all things considered, you’re in his eyeline, walking down the street with a woman who is a little older than you, with your notepad and pen clutched in your hand. It’s late and he wonders where you must be going to report at such a late hour, and then he worries, because in his experience, nothing good happens after dark that worth making the newspapers. As the two of you approach him, he leans further out of his open window, holding his arm out to catch your attention.
“Hey Javi,” You smile, coming to a stop in front of his window, “What are you doing in town?”
“Just picking a few things up,” He answers simply, because this isn’t about him, he needs to know where you’re going, “Where are you going this late?”
You turn to the older woman you’re with, tell her to go on ahead and you’ll catch her up, “There’s been some kind of drugs bust a few streets over,” You explain, “Sounds like it might be quite big so we’re just going down to see what’s happening.”
“Your dad working it?” He asks, because if he is, he knows you’ll be okay.
You shake your head, “Nah, he’s not on nights right now,” You’re shifting back and forth on your feet, clearly itching to get going, “I’ll be alright though, sounds like plenty of dad’s officers are down there.”
He turns his head back to the steering wheel and then back to you, “Be careful, alright?”
You smile at him again and if he’s not careful, he really could get used to being the person who draws that from you more often, “I know what I’m doing,” You chuckle slightly, and he doesn’t doubt it, not really, “Been covering this kinda shit for a while.”
Without really thinking about it, he leans over, roots around in the glovebox and pulls out the little card he knows that’s in there. He passes it over to you, letting you take it, “It’s got my number on it,” He explains, “I’ve been in this shit and I just…” He trails off with a sigh, “Just, call me before you write something that might get you in trouble, okay?”
“Worried about me, Peña?” You smirk, and he thinks above your smile, he’d like to make you smirk more too.
“I’ve just seen too many good journalists write things that ruin their careers,” He shrugs, trying to play it off but probably doing a terrible job of it, “Don’t want you to make the same mistake.”
He watches as you turn the card over in your fingers a few times, before smiling at him one last time, “I’ll call you if need you.” And he really hopes you do.
In that moment, he gives up on trying to resist the call of the liquor store, pulling out his keys from the ignition and opening his door, climbing down onto the pavement. He stalls a little, before he puts a hand on your shoulder and gives it a squeeze, “Go and get your story, reporter.” And then motions his head for you to go.
He buys a bottle of whiskey and two packs of cigarettes, smokes two of them before he gets home. He thinks if he were a stronger man he’d have managed to quit, but he’s not, especially when it comes to you. Sure, he knew you before, but this new you? He’s known less than a month and he’s already struggling to stick to his own rules. He steps down from his truck back on the ranch, walks in and pours himself a healthy double, trying to convince himself it’ll be okay, he just needs to keep to himself, but when he’s led in bed at night, thinking of your sweet smile, he thinks this might just be another thing he fails at.
It’s late. Too late for you to be awake when you have to be at the office in the morning, but you can’t stop looking at the series of numbers, printed on the little card, underneath the words ‘Javier Peña, DEA.’ It’s out of date, clearly, the DEA nothing more than a memory to him. But it’s the principle of it that matters most. He’s worried about you, and he would only worry if he cared right?
You set it on your nightstand, switch off the little lamp and plunge yourself into darkness, right at the same time as you plunge your hand under your sleep shorts and through your folds. You’re soaked, because you always are when you think about him, it’s actually sort of pathetic. You sink two fingers into yourself, only briefly, letting out a satisfied breath, dragging your slick fingers back you to slowly circle your clit.
It's new, the way you always need to take care of yourself. The brief relationship you’d had in college with James hadn’t given you much to work with, you hadn’t really felt desperation to get yourself off like this before.
Your other hand, currently running over your peaked nipples through your tank top, is itching to reach across to your nightstand, pick up the phone and dial that number. You want to breathe down the phone at him, tell him you’re being so bad, that you need him to help, need that deep voice to guide you through it. As you press your fingers harder into your clit, speeding up your circles and bucking your hips, you wonder what he’d actually do if you did call him. Would he tell you to get lost? You don’t think he would, you think he’d do exactly as you asked, talk you through it.
You imagine his voice in your ear, telling you how good you’re being for him. You imagine his hand replacing your own, sinking his fingers into you, using his thumb to work your clit, the rough of his moustache running over the skin of your neck as he kisses you there. It’s the image of him looking down at you, smiling as he makes you cum that tips you over the edge. That flood of relief that rushes through you as you bite down on your bottom lip to keep you from whispering his name as your body shakes through your orgasm.
You wipe your slick fingers on the skin of your thigh, roll over in bed so your back is to the phone, trying to get your breathing under control. You drag the covers up under your chin, closing your eyes and trying to sleep without imagining his strong arm around your waist, his broad chest against your back. Does he snore? You wonder as you try and fall asleep. Would he keep you warm? It’s all running through your head as you sleep, conjuring up dreams that come morning have you realizing something has to give, you have to know, you have to have him. You needed Javier Peña more than the air you breathe, no matter how bad it was to admit that, no matter what it meant, no matter what it would cost, you needed him and you think to yourself as you drive to work, that he might just need you as much as you need him.
#Javier Peña#Javier Peña smut#Javier Peña fluff#Javier Peña angst#Javier Peña fic#Javier Peña fanfic#Javier Peña fanfiction#Javier Peña x you#Javier Peña x reader#Javier Peña x female reader#Javier Peña x f!reader#narcos#narcos fic#narcos fanfic#narcos fanfiction#narcos smut#javier pena narcos#Javier Peña narcos#javier pena#javier pena fic#Javier Pena fanfic#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena smut#Javier Pena fluff#Javier Pena angst#Javier Pena x you#Javier Pena x reader#Javier Pena x female reader#Javier Pena x f!reader#Pedro Pascal
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Festival Skipper
Sam x AFAB (neutral terms) reader
Because I'm a new Sam simp and realised you guys are STARVING
Word count: 5.7k
Content: Praise, softdom Sam, smutty hurt/comfort, and tbh a lot of goofing around because I doubt Sam would be super serious AKJSHD Also because I just never really liked dirty talking that much
I'll edit this post more and post this to A03 later... I'm going to eep, it's past my bedtime
Update: its up on A03! And if you wanted more immersion, heres the playlist I listened to while writing this AKAHSH
Shoutout to @loverboykirstein for letting me use your banner -7-;;
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Winters in the valley were always calm and slow. Quiet and beautiful, the villagers embraced the icy scenes while waiting for their home to come back to life.
Calm, slow, quiet, and beautiful were all things that [y/n] had gotten used to over the past year of living on their grandfather’s old farm. A calm environment, a slower life, and quiet, beautiful surroundings had dissolved all of the ailments they lived with on a daily basis in Pine-Messa city. The hopelessness, the burn-out, the anxiety and insatiable exhaustion had been left in their Joja cubicle.
But winter was different. This was an all-consuming, eerie kind of quiet. you had only started getting fully used to the brand new silence and slow living in the fall. You were far from ready to be plunged head-first into the abyss that is Pelican Town’s winters. There was genuinely nothing to do, and you couldn’t stand it. The Adventurer’s Guild has been your saving grace. It was something to keep you busy. But lately, you have been a bit too busy for comfort.
The usually cheery and social farmer had seemingly gone missing for a few days. The guild has given you a quest that they thought you were ready for, but you proved to be in over your head, even if you wouldn’t admit it. 150 slimes needed to be slain by the end of the week. Today was the last day, and you had only dealt with 90. Marlon was annoyed, and had given you a stern talk about the guild policy.
“These slimes are breeding like rabbits!” He would hiss, “If they head upwards, guess what? The town is fucked, [y/n]. fucked!” His voice grit in the farmer’s skull like sandpaper. Your teeth grinded with rage over Marlon’s thoughtless blame.
For the first time in days, you had plopped down on your living room couch and unlocked your phone. What seemed like hundreds of notifications flooded in. Missed texts from Abby, from Sam, even from Sebastian. Arching a brow, you scrolled down on the notification block to read more
Rock Eater
[Image]
[image]
[image]
3
Johnnie Gilbert’s lookalike
Where are you?
I thought you would like the ice festival :(
Dog Boy
[Y/N]!!!
WHERE ARE YOU?? >_<
YOU NEED TO KICK WILLY’S ASS AT FISHING
PLEASE I MADE A BET WITH SEB I CAN’T LOSE
+17
“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself. You had been so caught up in the slime bounty that you completely forgot one of the festivals. It sounded like a fun one, too. It was a tradition older than Pelican Town itself. The festival started as a ritual to ward off winter depression, but it was given the Christmas treatment and now centered around ice carving, fishing and shopping. Abigail even sent a picture of the Gotoran cart merchant’s pig in a little jacket.
With a heavy sigh, you tossed your phone to the other side of the couch and rubbed your face. you’d answer them later. Right now, the last thing you wanted was to explain why you were gone. So why not pretend to be gone for a few more hours? It’s already been days.
Slumping down against the plush of the couch, [y/n] turned on the new TV you had just bought from Robin, a smart TV in limited stock. You knew you had to grab one while you could; Tech products like that were a bit of a rarity in the valley. They were hard to get unless you wanted to travel to the cities, or pay a ridiculous shipping fee.
Curling up against the armrest with a blanket, your brain went on autopilot as a streaming service booted so you could watch a comfort show. With your head resting on the armrest like it was a pillow, you found your arms clutching over your torso. Usually a plushy would sit there, but you couldn’t be bothered to get up. You didn’t even notice your blinks slowly becoming longer, filled with tranquility, until…
knockknockknockknockknock
The heavy, yet gentle knocking had made you jump out of your skin. Your eyes darted around as your body tried to come back to life. Hesitantly, you let your legs leave the blanket.
Knockknockknockknock
“Just a sec-!” you called out whilst scurrying to your feet. Oh Yoba, please don’t be Lewis asking for bills or Pam asking for more homemade alcohol.
You quickly tried to fix your clothes and hair as they walked over to the door. You needed to look somewhat presentable if you wanted to avoid excusing your disappearance. Upon opening the door, A heavy load flew off your shoulders; It was just Sam
“Oh thank fuck,” you huffed. your heart rate slowed and you let your head rest on his shoulder.
Your friendship was odd. You two were close. Really close. Not to say you weren’t also close to Sebastian and Abby, but this was… different. You were touchy. Everyone but you two acknowledged the tension and hesitance.
“Hey,” Sam whispered, lazily wrapping a heavy arm around you. . His skin was cold, chilled to the bone from the frigid night. “I left the festival early to check on you. I… haven’t heard from you in days, I was getting worried,”
“Sorry,” you whined, “It's been… rough,” you sighed. A breeze flew by, causing both of you to shudder. “Here, come in, maybe I’ll start something in the kettle,” you invited, Which Sam quickly obliged.
“Really? That’d be awesome, thank you so much [y/n]! You got any more of that mint hot chocolate? It was sick!” He suggested, closing the door behind him with his foot
“I can do that,” you hummed, grabbing your kettle off the stove and filling it in the sink
A shiver ran through Sam’s bones as removed his snow boots, leaving them at the door and made his way to the couch while you were occupied with the drinks. While sitting down, he rubbed his hands together and sighed into them in a sad attempt to warm them,
“Um… Where have you been again?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you as you returned and sat next to him. You paused and took a breath. Did you really want to open these flood gates?
“Marlon,” you finally grumbled, “Adventurer’s guild stuff. Slimes are breeding like crazy, which is odd because they usually don’t start until Spring. They’re starting to infest entire floors and rise closer to the surface. We’ll keep it under control but… Spring might be rough. I might need to cut back on my crop load” you vented. The release made you release tension in your face that you didn’t know you had., Sam’s smile contorted into a look of worry.
“Holy shit, dude. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you insisted as you rubbed your face with open hands, as if attempting to scrub off the stress and sleep deprivation “Just,, hnnnggff,” You leaned forward, placing Your elbows on your own knees. “Marlon’s been on my ass, dude. Bad,”
“That’s not fair, he was at the festival earlier,”
“He was?” you snapped up with wide eyes
“Yeah! he cheered Willy on for the fishing competition,”
Suddenly, you felt your blood run hot, “That motherfucker,” you hissed. As if timed for this exact moment, the kettle began to whistle, and Sam had tried his best to keep his giggling quiet
In a swift motion, you stood from the couch and made your way over to the kitchen, “I’ll put arsenic in your drink,” you threatened as you opened the cupboard and grabbed two mugs along with the box of powdered drink mix. As grumpy as you were, his laughter was contagious. You needed to bite the inside of your cheek and clench your jaw to avoid giggling with him
“Aww, come ooon. You know you love me,” Sam teased. you rolled your eyes, ignoring the fact he was kind of right
“Please,” you giggled. After a few noises from the kitchen, you returned with two steaming mugs in hand and placed them on the coffee table. you plopped down beside your best friend, a heavy, slow sigh leaving your lips, “That mother fucker… was he seriously there?”
Sam tilted his head and hummed a curt “Hm?”
“Marlon,” you whined. You shifted in your spot, then leaned your head on his shoulder. Sam’s eyes darted down at you. He had to admit, he felt a bit of pity for you. How could he not?. With a slow breath, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and nodded
“Yeah. He was. … Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just… ugh, forget it,”you grumbled. You snuggled into your friend’s body, wanting to hide from the rest of the world with him. His jacket had just been washed, but the smell of weed still lingered under the faint scent of detergent. Domesticity was something that you had to admit you craved. It’s been a long time since you loved someone, and out of everyone in the small town, Sam may be your best candidate. You tilted your head up once you decided to stop hiding. Your gaze met his own for just a second before he anxiously looked away. A smirk tugged at your lips. You had to admit, his coyness was cute.
“I really missed you, y’know,” you commented. You kept your head down, but looked up through your eyelashes, a calculated puppy-eye to test the waters. Sam looked back down to you. A small smile joined the pink blush on his face
“Really? I mean, I uh, I really missed you, too, [y/n]. I… I really did,” He stammered out with an embarrassed grin. Yoba, he was adorable. you snuggled closer, letting your hand rest on his thigh
“I like,, really missed you, Sammy
Sam’s eyes slowly widened as he started to realize what you were implying, “... Did you?” He whispered back, turning his body to face yours more, “...It really was quiet around here without you,”
Then there was silence. His wide, sweet blue eyes met yours, but you were focused on his lips. A precious mauve pink, complemented by the silver hoop filling his single lip piercing. The flesh looked smooth and soft, you couldn’t help but wonder if he had done that on purpose, in hopes you would kiss him one day. A slow blink adjusted your gaze to meet Sam’s eyes.
As if someone had told both of you that now was the moment, both of you leaned in. When your lips met, Sam’s hand moved to cup your cheek, just to feel a bit closer to you as his lips tingled from the contact.
Despite it being brief, the two of them had pulled away from the kiss with beaming grins and flushed faces.
“... wow,” Sam whispered through shy giggles. How could you not share his laughter? He was so cute. If he had a tail, your drinks would be all over the floor and the mugs would be broken. His pretty eyes seemed to glisten in the light from the television and crackling fireplace, it being the only light in the whole cabin.
With a bright red face, Sam fidgeted with his hands, unsure of what to do next, let alone what he was allowed to do. He was terrified to overstep a boundary and ruin this moment, the kind he would dream of at night and wake up from in a wet spot.
“Here Sammy, come here,” you whispered, placing your hands on top of his to guide him. his hands landed on your collarbone. You led him downwards, and directed his hands to cup your breasts. His eyes widened and his lips parted, making you giggle in a whisper
“Sam… are you… inexperienced?” you asked, trying to phrase it lightly. Sam swallowed, but seemed mesmerized by the warm, clothed flesh in his hands. He shook his head,
“Not exactly… just… It’s been a while. A long while, And I really like you,” he whispered. His eyes didn’t even twitch off of your body as his hands began to grope. Before you could question him, his eyes finally darted to your face. “Uh,, can I… is it okay if I keep touching you? I.. I want to explore a little bit," he asked. The sentence making its way past his lips was enough to feel himself swell into his jeans, the fit quickly becoming snug on him. With a smug grin, you nodded.
Sam leaned down, pushing you down into the couch. His irises seemed to tremble along with his hands as he took in the view beneath him. He couldn’t help but admire his beloved friend. You were prettier to him than anything his imagination could ever build. His fingertips snuck under your shirt, just to explore the body beneath it. A shiver ran up your spine from the contact, feeling the sensation get stronger and sweeter as his calloused pads ran upwards, then back down and towards the front, running down your ribcage and pausing at the belly button.
Even though the sight and sensation was blissful, you continued to worry. You continued to worry about the trouble you may be in with the guild. Then you remembered the fun Marlon must’ve had at the festival you unwillingly missed… the fun he stole from you.
A stuttering hum crept up from your throat as Sam’s hands trailed down to your hips. Feeling his thumbs gently trace your hip bones, you gazed down at him
“Sam?”
Sam’s hand’s paused and his eyes flickered back up to meet yours.
“Yeah?” He asked.
There was silence again. Well, now you had to admit, you were a little embarrassed. But you already had his attention. Your stomach churned and you looked over at the wall to break eye contact.
“... Was he having fun?”
“... huh?”
“Nevermind, nevermind,” you stammered out. Sam sat up a bit,
“[y/n], if you don’t want to this this, I totally–”
“No!” you nearly shouted, making Sam jump, “Sorry,, I… I really want you. Please. Let's keep going,”
“Okay… okay,” Sam mumbled with a nod.
He lowered his body again, letting his chest land on yours. He planted a kiss on your cheek, then another. He was so sweet…
He let his peppered kisses travel down, to your jaw, then to the side of your neck. His gentle, warm hand landed on your cheek again, and you let yours trail upward on his temple, your fingers tangling his hair
“I just…” You sighed out, staring at the ceiling. Sam stopped what he was doing and lifted his head again. You could’ve sworn a whine left his lips. He stared at you, like a dog waiting for a treat.
“I can’t believe he would do that and not tell me, he stressed me the fuck out all damn week-”
“[Y/N], are you sure you don’t want to pause and talk about this? Because I’m totally cool-”
“No, no, I’m sorry, please keep kissing me,”
Sam hesitated for a moment, but just shook his head and sighed, admitting defeat (and slight disbelief) with a raise of his eyebrows. His shy hands wandered back under the hem of your shirt, and his soft lips landed back on your neck, trailing towards your shoulder. His hands wandered up, his touch lingering on your rib cage until his hands landed on your bare breasts. A perverted smile tugged at his lips as he massaged at them and let his palms flatten against your nipples. A hum rose from our throat, you had to admit it felt good. Especially since it was him. Your hand ran through his hair, yet you continued to stare at the ceiling. You wanted to be immersed so badly, to surrender, but for some reason, you couldn’t make the leap…
“Y’know, I don't think I’d even be so bothered if h—”
“Alright,” Sam interrupted. In a fit of becoming a bit annoyed, he clasped his hand over your mouth and leaned over you. Your eyes grew wide and you quickly shut up. His head leaned down next to yours, his warm breath petting your earlobe,
“Here’s what we’re gonna do.”
He adjusted himself so that his weight was supported by his elbows and he raised his other hand: a clenched fist with his pinky finger up.
“Pinky promise me this is what you want. No feeling bad, no “sure why not”. You want this. You want me, truly,”
You were a bit stunned. This was almost uncharacteristic of him. But you had to admit, you kind of liked it. Though without hesitation, you lifted your hand and interlocked your finger with his.
“Okay, good,” He removed his hand from your mouth, using it instead to brush his knuckles against your cheek, “I’m gonna try something, okay? Nod if that’s okay,”
Your cheeks heated up, and you quickly nodded.
“Okay, perfect, awesome,” Sam mumbled to himself. His hand began to trace down your waist again, slowly. “I need you to stop talking for me, okay?” He whispered in your ear before kissing your temple. His finger trailed your hip bone, threatening to dip under your waistband. “I need you to clear your mind, as best you can. I need you to release that tension in your jaw,”
Slowly, his finger dipped under your waistband, simply caressing the skin underneath,
“And I need you to surrender yourself, and let me make you feel good. Can you do that for me?”
His voice was soothing and loving, gentle and coy. But his words, they were so, so hot. His breath was hot, running down your neck. it made your crotch begin to throb. It made your breathing quicken with anticipation.
“Mhm…” You hummed with a nod, your voice faltering under the situation.
“Good, good,”
His hand crawled even lower, until it met your lower lips. Despite being excited, he kept it slow. Carefully, he slipped one finger into your lips, then a second one, and spread them apart.
“You’re… wow… you’re really wet,” He whispered, mostly to himself with wide blue eyes. His fingers explored the new territory a bit, grazing on the labia until his fingertip found itself on your clit.
Your body spasmed, and a slightly startled gasp left your lips. His teasing drove you mad.
“I know, honey, I know. It’s okay,," He whispered, tilting his head downwards until his breath caressed the shell of your ear. "That’s an outside problem. It’s just you and me in here, baby, Okay?" His whispers echoed within your foggy head, and he began to press loving kisses onto your cheek again.
He rubbed the thick, calloused pad of his finger over your clit, rubbing back and forth at a painfully slow pace, “Just like that. Good. ... You’re doing so good, sweetpea,” It left his soft lips in a delicate whisper, as if it was a secret for you and you alone.
You reeled your head towards his. A helpless whine passed your lips and your back arched, revealing just how pent up you let yourself become over these past few weeks. It was a manifestation of how many times you pushed down your feelings for your beloved skater boy.
He kept it going for a little, letting your body warm up while lewd whimpers and hums echoed into his ear. Such a sweet noise for him, one that made him rock his hips into the couch cushions with a groan
“You’re so cute, you know that? Especially like this,’ He teased,
The graceful movements of his hand slowed, leaving you to pout. Though your attitude switched up quickly once you realized he stopped so he could take his shirt off. You sat up, a new wave of excitement rushing over you.
“Lets go to my room,” You suggested in a hushed voice, as if anyone else was around to hear you aside from your pet. Sam dropped his shirt to the floor and smiled, the chain around his neck with his father’s old dog tag jingling as he moved
“Sounds good,” He agreed, “wait, we should try that thing they do in movies, y’know, where they’re trying to kiss and remove their clothes at the same time while going to the bedroom. It’ looks kind of fun”
Ah,There was the idiot Sam you knew and loved.
You couldn’t help but laugh and nod, “Okay, let's try it,”
Sam had become a bit shy again, “Wait, time out,” He muttered before he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, letting the bulge in his navy blue cotton underwear a bit more free, “Sorry, it got tight, It kind of hurt, time in,”
You snorted and covered your mouth with your hand, giving into your fit of giggling,
“What? It did!” Sam tried to defend, before the giggling overcame him too, “I’m sorry dude, I’m just, absolutely packing, y'know? I can’t keep my foot-long contained in these skinny jeans, he’s gotta breathe,” He joked between gasps and laughter, making the both of you erupt
“Okay, okay,” you said in an attempt to calm the situation, “Okay, come here and kiss me pretty boy,” You flirted, making a ‘come closer’ motion with your hand. He obliged and pressed his body to yours, taking your jaw in his hands and letting your lips collide.
Both of your lips parted, deepening your kiss and allowing the tips of your tongues to meet each other. His hands wandered to the hem of your shirt again, this time pulling it up,
“C’mon, let's try to move a bit,” Sam suggested, shifting backwards while you shifted forward,
“Left Left, right left,, I don’t know my right from left,” Sam softly sung while pulling your shirt over your head, making you giggle more,
“What was that?” You asked,
“A military marching cadence my dad taught me when I was a kid. I just remembered it because this is… a lot harder than they make it look in the movies,” he rambled, the two of you giggled together again. With a grin, sam dropped your shirt to the floor and pecked you on the lips,
“Maybe I’ll teach you the whole chant later,” He placed his hands on your bare waist, and turned so he could gently push you against your living room wall, “I’m a little busy right now,”
“It’s a date,” You agreed with a rasp in your voice. You tilted your head to the side, letting Sam begin to nibble at your neck, this time with more intention than his gentle kisses. One hand found its way back to your face, the other found its way back to your breasts to continue his soft squeezing and massaging. He let his teeth sink into your skin, over your collarbone and shoulder. He kissed the bite marks he left, and carefully sucked some, leaving bruises, hickies, and your whimpers in his wake.
“Sam…” You whined, “Mm,, You’re driving me crazy,,”
“Yeah?” He hummed, leaving one final kiss on your neck, “Come on,” He took your hand in his. His pretty eyes flicked at yours, and he placed a kiss on the back of your hand with a grin before pulling you back towards your room.
Your body collapsed into your mattress as Sam kneeled on the floor beside your bed frame. He began to work his way down, placing kisses between your breasts and down your abdomen. His hands took a firm grip of your hips. With a bit of a haste, he pulled down your pants and took a moment to admire you, your almost naked body with nothing but underwear. A big smile cracked his face
You looked down at him, feeling a little nervous,
“Is everything alright…?”
“Yeah, yeah,” He assured, his eyes seeming to glow, “I’m just… You’re so pretty,” he whispered. He gazed up at you, his eyes meeting yours as he attempted something new; He grabbed the hem of your underwear in his teeth, and slowly dragged it down your legs.
Yoba… you could feel your hole start throbbing.
‘Heh,, learned that one from a comic Seb showed me,” he admitted a bit bashfully. You put your hand over your mouth to hide your smile and turned your head. Of course he would say that.
He took a second to admire you yet again, but the sight in front of him teased him beyond just gazing,,
He dragged his fingertips up your labia again, stopping once he reached your clit and flicking his eyes up so he can watch you squirm
“Where did we leave off?” He teased, “Something like this… right?”
He continued his back and forth motion, regaining his confidence as he watched your face contort and heard your restrained moans. He let his pace quicken, and let his other hand begin to tease your hole with another fingertip.
“Sammy…” You whimpered. Your walls throbbed and clenched around nothing, waiting very impatiently for him to make his move.
“Patience, honey… patience,” He cooed, letting his finger run a small circle over the rim before sinking in. You let out a groan and tilted your head back. Once pushing in to the second knuckle, he began to pull out, push in and pull out, then added a second finger. He leaned his body closer, keeping the pumps of his hand slow and methodical. You gripped at the blanket beneath you and let a small moan pass your lips. He was doing it on purpose
“Sammy… come on…” You whimpered, rocking your hips against his hand. He obliged, allowing his fingers to sink deeper and faster, an upward curl joining the routine as he leaned even closer. He moved his other hand away from your clit, and instead replaced it with his tongue. Soft, shy flicks of the tip of his tongue joined the rhythm of his hand. His masterpiece, and the finishing touch to his symphony was the moaning and mewling that left your chest.
“Fuck-!” you cried out. Your knees began to tremble around his body, your nails scratched into your forearms and your hips rocked. In a fit of needing something to hold onto, your hands quickly switched to holding his shoulders.
Sam picked up his pace again, the tips of his fingers rubbing your walls and his head bobbing a bit for more movement. The velvety feeling grew stronger and stronger. You dug your nails into his skin, making him groan into your crotch, his voice reverberating into your core.
“Ugh,, Sam! I’m so… I’m…!” You tried to whine, but the sweet sensation he provided made it hard to speak.
“I know, I know,” He hummed, “Give in, it’s okay,”
You threw your head back, a howl escaping your chest while your thighs vibrated. Your hole spasmed around his fingers as liquid arousal dripped around them, and your clit twitched in his mouth.
“Fuck! Sammy-!” you whined, followed by one more long groan. He slowed down, helping you ride out the high of your first orgasm in weeks.
Your body went limp and he leaned back. He extracted his fingers, and noticed how hot his face was. His skin was bright red, his eyes were puffy. And he was ecstatic.
He crawled up into your bed with you, immediately kissing your face like a puppy,
“That was perfect. Beautiful,” He praised, “You did so good, so good,” He laid on his side, gazing at you while you continued to come down and catch your breath. You turned your head to face him, and a smile tugged at your lips.
“...Round two?” you asked. Sam’s attention piqued.
“Really? I figured I would give you an extra minute,” He commented. Not that he was complaining though. He stood up, and his knees cracked from kneeling on the hardwood floor
“Ow, holy shit!” He yelped, more so in shock than in pain. Even after having one of the roughest orgasms of your life, he made you giggle.
“You okay, honey?” you asked through deep breaths and giggles,
“Yeah, holy shit,”
He pulled down the waistband of his undone, sagging jeans. Seeing that your eyes were still on him, he decided to raise his hands beside his head and wiggle his hips in a hula hoop motion, earning a laugh from the both of you. You turned onto your side, watching as he kicked off his jeans and pinched the waistband of his briefs.
He pulled them down, and your eyes nearly popped out of your skull. It wasn’t the foot-long he pretended to have, but at first glance he could’ve maybe had you convinced. What bounced out proved Abby’s speculation of him being well hung. He was thick, and blushed dark red with arousal.
You crawled back towards your pillows, and he joined you on your bed.
He leaned over you again, the dog tag around his neck hanging down and laying against the skin of your chest.
Your legs opened around his hips, and you bit your lip with anticipation. The tip of his penis rubbed on your wet slit, making him puff up his cheeks a bit. He was already so worked up, but didn’t want this to end so fast. He flicked his eyes to yours, and stabled himself on his elbows so his hands could touch your face.
“Don’t worry. I promise I’ll be gentle,” He whispered, “You ready?”
You nodded, and he adjusted his body so he could line up with you and grab your shoulders. He paused for a second, then began to slowly push in.
both of you gasped. There was a slight, sweet sting with the stretch as he tried his best to keep moving so he could keep the friction going. As you encapsulated him, a groan left his throat.
“Shit,” He whined, “You’re fucking great, [Y/N]” he mustered out, giving you a rush as he began to pull out, then push back in and begin a steady pace, or at least attempt to. It took everything for him to not fuck the shit out of you, but he knew he could never. You were too precious to him, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.
Your arms hooked under his and you let out a groan. You felt him rocking through your whole body, filling the room with a squelching noise, heavy breathing and the quiet creaks of your bed,
“More?” He asked with a bit of a strain, almost as if he was begging,
“Please,” You huffed. He picked up his pace, allowing himself to go deeper. In and out, in and out, his tip began to rub against the rough spot inside you, shooting electric pulses through your body.
“Hnn-! Sam!” you yelped, making his body heat up. “Good,, So good!” You let out, a sad attempt to mimic his praises and sweet nothings that got you so riled up in the first place.
With a guttural groan, he adjusted himself, attempting to get a better angle and speeding up again. The creaking of your bed gradually turned into a rocking. The heavy breathing gradually turned into a song of pleasure and bliss. The squelching turned into an arrangement of continuous wet friction.
Your back arched as his tip began to kiss your cervix and massage your favorite spot. Your head reeled back against your pillow as Sam’s tilted down, watching you squirm and writhe worked him up more and more.
“[Y/N]... I’m… getting really close, [Y/N]” he whimpered,
“I am too, Sammy,” You mewled. You reached down through what little space there was between the two of you and began to rub on your own clit. It only took a few rubs for your body to spasm and for you to yowl.
You began to see stars as your hole throbbed and convulsed around Sam, turning his thrusts sloppy and rough. It pushed him to the edge as well.
He whined and moaned out, grabbing tightly onto your upper arms so he could rock himself through his orgasm. Ropes and pearls of hot semen shot out from him into you.
He slowed down into a stop, this time leaving both of you panting. With a tired groan, he pulled out and let his body ragdoll beside yours.
“Are you okay, sweetpea?” he asked through heavy breaths. You turned over to face him and nodded,
“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m alright,” you assured, leaning into his touch while he pushed strands of hair out of your face.
The two of you gazed at each other, taking the other’s fucked-out looks; face red, hair a wreck, eyes glimmering.
“You did so good, honey,” You hummed, attempting once again to mimic his praises. You planted kisses over his face, making him grin and chuckle with what little energy he had left,
“Come here,” he mumbled, pulling you into his arms so he could snuggle his head into your shoulder.
“...What are you going to tell your mom?” you asked, using your knuckles to pet his hair,
“I’m sure she’ll understand. She knew I was leaving early to see you. … I’ll probably sleep over though, I really don’t want to deal with that right now. Ugh, I’m so lucky she and my dad like you.”
A smile spread on your face as you allowed yourself to reciprocate his snuggling. Though Sam spoke up again,
“... What are you gonna do about Marlon?”
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CHAPTER SEVEN: did he make you giggle?
navi
this is kinda filler sorry guys . . . very short written part after the 6th photo
"yuuji and nobara stop oh my god" you laugh.
you were laying on your bed before your three friends barge in and start making fun of how nervous you were around yuta. the acting was mostly yuuji and nobara, but megumi added the occasional comment, not wanting to miss out on this opportunity.
"oh my god you're soooo cute i want to kiss you so bad!" yuuji does a very bad impression that sounds nothing like you.
you throw your hands up in defeat, "i never said that?" megumi chimes in, "we know you, you definitely thought it". to any normal person, that being anyone who wasn't yuuji, nobara, or megumi, it wouldn't seem like you're all that nervous. but because you'd been friends with them so long, it seemed like they had a tendency to know exactly what your thoughts were.
"i just know you wanted your little pottery moment", nobara's referring to those scenes in movies where the guy puts his hands over the girls to guide them. was she wrong? probably not. "whatever! so what if i did? let me dream"
the teasing goes from the stream, to what they think you were like at ihop. megumi plays a waiter, nobara does yuta, and yuuji unfortunately took the honors of mimicking you again.
after a certain point of watching them fool around you banished them from your room. you grab your pillow and scream into it giggling at the events of today.
. . .
I'm so sorry guys 😭 once the weekend hits, I literally take a break from EVERYTHING. i did mean to update yesterday, but i was consumed by sleep.
this is kind of a filler chapter, which is on me because of the way i ended the last one. next one, i will deliver trust
tags: @k4romis @soy-garbage @sakyira @dreamxiing @swissy23 @shnzies @captaincyberqueen @fantasycantasy @chuyasthighs0 @mixzimi @milza12 @nahoye @spookyrule @4phskingdom @sad-darksoul @morgyyyyyy @smashingdollz @lunavixia @gaychaosgremlin @jayathelostdragon @h3xi2g0n3 @lysaray
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Notes and Journal Entries by Kip Kinkel
A compilation of writings by Kip Kinkel. This is for informational and educational purposes only. Post is below the cut.
Disclaimer: the majority of his writing pieces (that have been released to the public) are only available in a typed transcript format, provided by PBS. Because of this, I am only able to include a few images of the original writing. This post will be updated if any new images come out!
Journal Entry by Kip:
"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become.
Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.
The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.
I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.
Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?
I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.
I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.
I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.
Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.
Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.
End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.
It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.
I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.
My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.
Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.
I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.
I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.
If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."
Essay about love, written by Kip
"Love Sucks
No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.
It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."
Monologue written by Kip for a homework assignment. This monologue was written for the character Tybalt of Romeo and Juliet.
"But you know me, I loathe all of them. I am no longer blind in my hatred, I can see with my hate. Blood will flow until they are all dead. This was the first moment in my life where I had taken the life of another. I loved it. It dispelled all the anger and animosity I was feeling."
Note written by Kip, confessing to the murder of his parents. This was found on a coffee table in the living room of the Kinkel's home.
"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"
A concerning note written by Kip on a Spanish worksheet
Another concerning note by Kip
"Respect Sheet" filled out by Kip
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