#no peacock hate here tho i would also make web do housework for me if i were an officer that’s actually hilarious to me

[im-real-sorry-frank]

I’m sure everyone’s seen all these already but the band of brothers book is really filled with david webster gems™️, my faves so far:

after peacock made him sweep his billet in uden: ‘I would rather starve to death in civilian life than be a private in the army.’ this is especially funny because it comes like a day after the worst artillery they’ve experienced to date, but the final straw is his shitty boss making him clean his room for him… real!

complaining about the ‘vile, monotonous, and unimaginative language’ in the army - how does it feel to have the soul of my grandmother?

his whole rant about how selfish his mum is for not wanting him or his brother to die - I understand and commend his whole class thing and I’m sure she was being very unsupportive but I do think most parents would probably rather not have their children in active combat and he could have maybe cut her some slack instead of going ‘oh so you only want OTHER people’s sons to die?? you heinous bitch’

calling christenson ‘E Company’s only glamour boy’ - they truly made the right call casting Fassbender because everyone was obsessed with this man, not only this but winters talking about how he always picked him to carry the flag because he was the best looking man and had a tiny grabbable waist… truly the easy company it boy

In conclusion I need to read Parachute Infantry