#no one will ever love this song more than me

[melminli]

Ddakji Man

summery - you were always struggling to make ends meet, despite having three separate jobs and you doubted that that would ever change. it felt like you were working out of your own casket and it would probably be more sustainable to invest in one at this point.

pairing: (gong yoo/ji-cheol) the salesman x fem. reader

word count: 1,5k

contains: slight arguing, cursing but nothing too graphic tbh

"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" One of your friends asked you a little sadly since you were about to leave the group. They rarely got to see you anyway, did you have to leave so early? "You never come with us when we go out for a drink, we miss you there, you know?"

You smiled a little tiredly as you strolled casually through the streets. "I'm sorry guys, I just have to work tonight." you tried to explain. Besides, I'm fucking tired and just want to get some sleep before then. I miss my bed.

Your best friend pouted as she hugged you from the side and you welcomed it, even if it made walking a little more difficult. "It's always work this work that. Live a little for once, all this stress is not good for you. You need a break." she spoke up before a thought came into her mind that made her a little furious. "Don't tell me that you're using work as an excuse to cancel on us. We can do something else if you want to. I'll even invite you, come on!"

You took a tired breath. I don't have any energy for this. "Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to get drunk with you and I'm not being sarcastic or anything." you clarified. Besides, I wouldn't work this much if I didn't have to.

"All right." she gave in unhappy. "We'll catch you one of these days, I can feel it..."

You laughed softly. "Please do," you replied and stopped in front of the stairs that led to the subway. This was the place where you had to say goodbye to your friends and you did with a few more hugs. You enjoyed spending time with them and loved your friends with all your heart, but you were still happy to be a bit on your own now.

So you plugged in your cable headphones and played your current favorite song at the loudest volume before checking when the next train was going to arrive. Another twenty minutes? The last one must have just left. You decided to just sit down on a bench and wait while staring blankly around and quietly mumbling the lyrics to yourself.

A few minutes later, a person sat down next to you and you could see out of the corner of your eye that it was probably some kind of businessman or something. You didn't look closely out of politeness and turned your gaze somewhere else after checking the time on your phone.

"Excuse me." the unknown man tried to get your attention, but as expected, you could barely hear him over the booming music. He placed his briefcase in the space between you before leaning closer to your figure and looking towards you with a smile and finally, you seemed to notice his stare and turned in his direction. You took out one of your earbuds as you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The man leaned back again. "I haven't said anything yet. I wanted to ask if I could talk to you, do you have a moment?"

You looked around a little uncomfortably as he maintained uninterrupted eye contact with you. "Ehm, well..." you stumbled slightly over your words. "I'm not religious or anything, sorry," you replied, having no patience for another discourse about Jesus and the church. This is the fourth time this week, lucky me. You thought to yourself as you were about to put your earplug back in.

The salesman held a hand in the air to stop you from doing that to keep your attention. You just looked at him uninterestedly and waited, it was going to be a while before your train arrived anyway. A smile graced his face after you were willing to listen to him again. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, I just want to offer you a chance."

Your face tightened a little in disgust and you were quite irritated by now. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer and didn't say anything else, so you had no choice but to interpret his words. He doesn't look like that kind of guy, but I guess it's always the ones who look the most decent. "Listen to me asshole," you said openly this time, all politeness gone as you pointed at his chest with your index finger. "I don't know you, maybe you're one of those men who try to talk in riddles to seem mysterious or something, but right now it just sounds like you're looking for someone cheap to fuck." you replied as you tapped his tie with each syllable and leaned a little closer to him as you whispered. "And I'm not cheap, so you might want to look elsewhere."

This time it was you who grinned as he looked at you in surprise and he let out a small grunt after you finished your sentence. The salesman straightened his tie while watching your figure before reaching for his briefcase and revealing its contents, "That's too bad, but also not what I was talking about," he replied as you looked at the money and colored paper in confusion. "Have you ever played Ddakji?" He asked you as he took out the red and blue paper. You just shook your head. "That's no problem at all, we can still play it if you're up for it." 

Your gaze alternated from his hand to his face. Oh, so he's crazy. You finally concluded. I guess he is too handsome to be just a normal guy, huh. You turned your head away from him, something about the whole thing just seemed perverse to you. "No thanks, I'll pass."

"You sure?" He asked again, knowing he'd convinced you as soon as he brought the money into it. These people are all the same, she'll snatch the paper right out of my hands after I start talking a language she understands. "Every time you win, you get 100,000 won from me." He began, watching the look on your face. "But if I win, you owe me 100,000 won and -"

You sighed and interrupted him. "Yes, I'm sure. I still don't want to play with you, okay?"

This time the man looked at you with a cold, icy stare. A few minutes passed like this and you just tried to ignore his gaze, but then he started talking again. "All right. 200,000 won." he finally said, but couldn't seem to get your attention back. He tried again. "Is it because you've never played the game before? We can have a practice round if that would make you feel more comfortable." he tried again and got irritated when you continued to ignore him. He looked around the area as he considered his next move. Is she waiting for me to increase the prize money further? These people usually jump up happily at the first amount since they're so desperate. He tried to collect himself again. "500,000 won." he finally said. "I've got the money right here, you just have to go for it."

When is this stupid train coming. "Look, I don't want your fucking money, understand? I'm not a gambling addict or -"

"You may not want it, but you need it," he said, annoyed. This has never happened before, is she stupid? He then spoke out your name and described your miserable living situation as if you didn't already know about it yourself. "You also have quite a lot of debt for someone who is still relatively young, are you seriously going to turn down the money I'm offering you? For what, to prove a point or something?"

You didn't know what this man's fucking problem was, he should be glad that you didn't want to take his money, and how did he even know all this? You got up from your seat next to him when the train finally arrived and turned to face him one last time. "Fuck you," you told him and then went to the doors. You even looked out of the window at him as soon as they closed before you, to show him your the middle finger.

The man in the suit watched your figure irritated until it was gone and then, took the little card out of the inside pocket of his suit, that was meant for you. He turned it over a few times in his hand before closing the open briefcase with his other one. He had already played and lost a few Ddakji games in his life, which was the point of the whole thing - to recruit players for the actual game. However, the thought of what awaited them there meant that he was still in control of the situation. He was always in control of the situation. "I didn't loose, we haven't even played." he tried to reassure himself.

And yet the whole conversation with you left him feeling like he was utterly defeated.

[lizziesangel]

could you write a fic where reader is a taylor swift lover and rafe kinda gets annoyed when she talks about her, but one night, after a party, reader’s a little drunk and they get into rafe’s car where she starts blasting ‘lover’ by taylor swift and she literally serenades him blah blah blah taylor then starts to grow on rafe (idk it sounded cuter in my head)

i love this and taylor, ahh. thank you, angel, for your request! <3

you’d been talking about taylor swift nonstop for the past week. it wasn’t your fault—her music was a masterpiece, and you were pretty sure even rafe knew it deep down, though he would never admit it.

the night of topper’s party had been wild. the keg stands, the music, the dancing—everything blurred into a haze of laughter and neon lights. by the time rafe herded you into his car, you were more than a little tipsy, your cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling.

“okay, let’s get you home, angel,” rafe muttered, sliding into the driver’s seat. you leaned your head back, fumbling with your phone to cue up some music.

“wait,” you said, swiping through your playlist with drunken determination. “we need… a vibe.”

“we need silence,” rafe countered, starting the car.

“but it’s our girl taylor—”

“taylor this, taylor that,” rafe muttered as he slid into the driver’s seat after the party. “i’m starting to think you love her more than you love me.”

you were just tipsy enough not to care about his faux annoyance.

“and you love it,” you teased, reaching for your phone to connect to the car’s bluetooth. he groaned but didn’t stop you. a few moments later, the soft opening chords of lover filled the car.

you gasped dramatically, turning to face him. “oh my gosh, baby, this is our song!”

he shook his headwith a grin, “it’s definitely not.”

“no, baby,” you said dreamily, turning to him. “this song… is so us.”

he glanced at you, eyebrow raised. “oh, really?”

you ignored him, singing along as the lyrics began, your voice slightly slurred but heartfelt. by the time you hit the chorus, you were full-on serenading him, hands clasped to your chest like you were performing on stage.

“can i go where you go?” you crooned, leaning closer to him with an exaggerated pout. “can we always be this close forever and ever?”

rafe rolled his eyes but didn’t tell you to stop. in fact, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he turned his attention back to the road.

by the bridge of the song, you’d managed to coax him into humming along. “see? you’re a swiftie in denial!” you declared triumphantly.

“yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, but there was no heat in his voice. maybe it was the alcohol or the way you lit up when you sang, but something about it made him start to wonder what all the fuss was about.

for a moment, the world narrowed to just the two of you—your slightly off-key singing, your hand in his, and the song weaving a warm cocoon around the car. rafe’s heart did an odd little flip. he’d never admit it, but the way you looked at him in that moment, eyes full of affection and trust, was enough to make him want to pull over and kiss you senseless.

in the weeks that followed, rafe started noticing taylor swift everywhere. at first, it was annoying—you’d hum her songs while making coffee or quote her lyrics during arguments “this is me trying, rafe!”. but gradually, something shifted.

one night, he caught himself humming “cruel summer” in the shower. another time, he turned on the radio in his truck and didn’t immediately switch the station when “you belong with me” came on. it wasn’t until he was alone in his room, scrolling through his phone, that he found himself… adding “lover” to his playlist.

by the time your anniversary rolled around, rafe had a plan. after dinner, he led you to his truck and turned on the stereo. the familiar strums of “lover” filled the air.

your jaw dropped. “no way. is this… are you playing taylor?”

“don’t make it a big thing,” he grumbled, though the corners of his mouth twitched.

you stared at him, eyes wide with amazement. “rafe cameron, are you becoming a swiftie?”

“let’s not get carried away,” he said, pulling you into his arms as the song played. “but maybe… i get it now.”

as you swayed together under the stars, you rested your head against his chest, your heart swelling with joy. taylor swift might not have been rafe’s first love, but you had a feeling she’d earned a permanent spot in his heart—right next to you.

[skipper1331]

you wish you were me // Leah Williamson

a/n: inspired by this iconic performance

Your friend group was out in the local bar, celebrating a birthday. Your mate had just turned 26 and in her eyes, every birthday was there to celebrate it, so that‘s what you did.

You had a lovely dinner at her favourite restaurant and were now down for some drinks.

So here you were in a bar between the smell of alcohol and sweat, playing a card game.

"Wanna spice things up?" your best friend asked with a mischief grin.

"Tell me" the birthday girl replied, very interested in what your bestie had to say.

"Don‘t even listen to her" you argued when the suggestion came that who ever would lose the next card game had to do karaoke, "and the winner is allowed to choose the song"

But there was no point in arguing because everyone was loving the idea.

-

"Oh come on" you huffed as you lost while the other girls cheered.

"This will be fun" your best friend laughed as she ordered some more shots. You surely would need them. You couldn’t go on stage as sober as you were right now.

Drowning the next two rounds of shots, you stood up, the winner whispering the choice of song in your ear, so it‘d be a surprise for everyone.

Thankfully, it wasn‘t an awfully long song nor even a proper song. It was 'You wish you were me' by Trish which she sang in the series 'Austin and Ally'

I can deal with that, you thought, I wont see most of these people after this anyway.

Walking towards the karaoke guy, your best friend talked to him, your nerves on a rise. So many eyes looked at you.

your friends cheered, "Go girl!!" enjoying themselves very much while you were about to run. You hated being the centre of attention.

Fuck it

"You‘ve got this" y/bsf/n said, handing you the microphone, walking back to where your friends sat.

Weirdly when the music started playing you felt relaxed, in that moment the motto “yolo” was all that mattered.

"I‘m so much better than youuu" confidence starting to rise, "I’m a ten, you‘re a two" signaling with your hands your words.

"I‘m a queen, you‘re a fool" you pointed a random person in the bar who was a blonde girl, her friends cheering and gasping loudly before they started laughing.

"I‘m a throne, you’re a stool" you walked and danced on the stage, not caring at all, "you‘ll never be this cool"

"No-Ooh"

"I sing to you on this stage"

"I‘m at the top of my game"

"I‘m a star and you‘re lame"

once again you pointed at the blonde girl.

You grabbed some coins out of your pocket, "I‘m cash and you‘re change" dropping them on the floor.

"You‘ll never have my fame" you sang

not knowing that the blonde woman was actually someone fame, someone who had captained her country to the European championship and winning the trophy.

"So-Ooh"

"You wish you were me"

"Got everything you need"

"Got no time for jealousy"

"I, I"

Slowly the song came to an end, "Yeah, you wish you were me" being the last sentence before you did a mic drop and hit a pose.

The whole bar started to cheer, happily amused by the performance.

Quickly though, you picked up the mic, embarrassed about the move, sincerely apologizing to karaoke guy before you hurried back to your friends.

"That was awesome!" the birthday girl yelled, "best birthday ever!" hugging you.

And just as that the night continued.

"You have an admirer" your best friend whispered, nodding her head in the direction of the blonde who you‘d pointed at the whole time.

"I think she‘s about to kill me" you brushed her off, taking a sip of your drink.

"No, look at her, she‘s been eyeing you all night. Go talk to her!"

"What? No. Do you want a drink? I want one" you changed the subject, already getting up.

"Your glass is half full"

"No it‘s not" and with that you left.

Pah! As if the blonde woman was seriously not thinking about killing you yet you had to admit, she was gorgeous. Maybe you should apologize-?

You were about to order another drink when someone next to you beat you to it, "put whatever she wants on my tab, please" the person said, that person being the blonde woman, "that was quite a performance, aye?"

"Oh no, you don’t have to-" you tried, happy to pay for you own drink or maybe pay for hers (?) - you didn’t know.

"I want to. I’m Leah, Leah Williamson and you are?" she smiled, her smile so genuinely that maybe, just maybe she didn‘t want to kill you.

-

"Aye, Mrs Williamson, you wanna sing a song for me?" Leah mocked, pulling you into her grasp.

"Baby! I apologized for that already several times" you whined, the defender peppering kisses to your cheek.

"What can i say? If it wasn't for the song, I wouldn't be able to call you my wife today"

[polaraaace]

ty for the tag!!

Age: early 20s

Height: 5'6"

Grade: on track to get my associate's degree this June (3 semesters late and in a completely different field than I started out in) yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Confidence: 6/10

Happiness: 8.5/10! I'm in love, feel closer to my friends & extended family than ever before, and I'm a month away from starting my first job that's actually relevant to what I want to do long-term; honestly the only thing holding me back from a 10 is that I have yet to move out

Sexuality: demibisexual

Romantic: biromantic; recently I've started to wonder if I'm also demiromantic but that's not really a priority for me to figure out since I'm in a relationship right now

Fav food: probably sketty with avocado & "feta cheese"

Fav show: I've been watching so much Mystery Science Theater while sick that the brainrot has fully consumed me once more (though I've also been getting into Jujutsu Kaisen)

Fav movie: The Mummy (1999)

Fav song: top 5 for the year, roughly in order: South Side of the Sky by Yes, Gunpowder Tim Vs the Moon Kaiser by The Mechanisms, I Don't Have A Name For It by Steam Powered Giraffe, The Mary Ellen Carter by The Longest Johns, and Heart of a Dancer by The Happy Fits

Fav artist: right now, either The Longest Johns or The Happy Fits

Relationship status: madly in reciprocated love (for the first time) with the one and only Squidboy <3<3<3

Fav color: orange

Fav season: Autumn

Followers: 157

Tagging @strollingsquid @wyrmsandrocs @discordant-daydreams @crossnamara @kaiyves-backup @abrighterwound and whoever else wants to join in!!

End of year stats!

Age: won’t say but minor

Height: 5’5

Grade: won’t say

Confidence: 7/10

Happiness: 5/10

Gender: gender fluid

Sexuality: asexual

Romantic: aroflux

Fav food: probably ramen?

Fav show: b99

Fav movie: not any

Fav song: too many to pick!!!

Fav artist: wallows or dayglow

Relationship status: single

Fav colour: green

Fav season: winter

Followers: 358 (as of Dec 29 at 2 am)

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Tongues and Teeth (The Crane Wives)

If you're fine with that you can be mine.... I WILL POISON ALL YOUR HAPPY THOUGHTS!/I WILL LOVE YOU LIKE THE ASHES IN MY CIGARETTE BOX!

I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel/It's all that I can give to you, my dear/And when you come in quick to steal a kiss/My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

And I know that you mean so well/But I am not a vessel for your good intent

"I quote the above passage."

"It sounds happy until you listen to the lyrics and then you're like. Oh"

"Can I submit The Crane Wives whole catalog? Just every song they've ever made? Tongues & Teeth is so good tho so I'll make it my flagship, its both so personal and so universal cause you can interpret it in so many ways to apply it to so many blorbos. I've applied it to 10 and it fits and hits different every time. Absolutely Iconic song."

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Tongues and Teeth submitted by @they-thespian666 + others

[elementalwriter67]

So fun fact about me that you all may not know, but may suspect given my recent reblogs, but I was a Percy Jackson kid growing up. I found the book series in elementary school, fell in love with it and greek mythology in general. The reason I say this is because after having listened to the Epic the Musical (on repeat) I now have a personal headcannon that the Apollo cabin in PJO has it down bad for Epic the Musical and are also listening to it on repeat using the cabin stereo system.

Like it started out small with some of them finding it when the first saga was released and then it snowballed from there until the entire cabin was listening to it by the time the vengeance saga came around. And I can guarantee you that in my headcannon when the Ithaca Saga came out they used the Hermes cabin to get access to wifi so they could watch the livestream premiere. They all cried during it. The Hermes kids had no idea what was going on or why the entire Apollo cabin were having a fucking break down but they were rolling with it.

I also headcannon that since they started listening to it on repeat they have begun singing different songs from the different sagas during campfire night. Some of their offerings at dinner now go to Jorge even though he's not a god but Apollo allows it because he's also started listening to the musical because literally all his kids are obsessed with it and he's got to admit that it's a banger. The Apollo kids have now also started saying things like; "Odysseus would never," when they hear the tea coming from the Aphrodite cabin. They also say "guys that's not very open arms of you."

They've also unanimously created a code phrase that is used both on and off the battlefield and during capture the flag. The code phrase? 600 strike! Which triggers the Apollo cabin like sleeper agents to all close ranks and attack the attacker of who ever called out 600 strike. This has been used in capture the flag before to the utter confusion of both teams but mainly of Percy who was the one it was called on and could not understand why the entirety of the Apollo cabin was now coming at him like he had broken one of their instruments again.

Apollo absolutely, on more than one occasion, come down from olympus while his kids are listening to Epic during the "I can't help but wonder" song just to act out the scene where Odysseus goes "Son, I'm finally home" to have all of his kids there at the time tackle him to the ground. Chiron was concerned when this first happened wondering who pissed who off but after the tenth time that month he's over it and is just letting them do their thing. It's safer that way.

[starmocha]

i'm on the run with you, my sweet love [Sylus/Reader ★ 3737 words ★ Masterlist ★ Series Index ★ AO3] Forever your ride or die. A/N: Happy New Year! I’ve had this story written since Christmas 2024, but I had decided to save it to ring in the new year instead. Kind of based on my favorite Sylus phone call: As You Wish. This is…very………vague…….something…… I’m here for the vibes mostly. :’) Tag list: @miudle @alfredosaws @nezukoo-channn @voidsylus @rose-tinted-kalopsia @valkyyriia 【 request to be added 】

When everything came to a pause, when the whole world had shifted and all eyes were on you, a bounty had been placed on your head and your name suddenly known to the whole universe.

He had whisked you away, his hand in yours, no questions asked.

Where you go, I’ll go with you, he had said, his hold firm, his vow unyielding.

It’s not safe with me. They’ll get you, too, you had warned, giving his hand a little squeeze, almost afraid that you would lose him as well.

Sounds exciting, sweetie.

He had smirked, his lips on yours, a promise that nothing would ever sever his bond with you.

Your arms wrapped around his waist, head pressed to his back, and the sound of his motorcycle raced down the dusty road to nowhere. A trail of dust was left behind, the heat of the sun bore down on you, and the unknown future awaited both of you in the distance.

On the way to the end of the world, you said goodbye to what you had once thought was home, all of the people who had ever loved you were gone.

Except him.

Are you crying?

…No…

Let me hold you. For me.

…Okay…just for you, though…

Thank you, sweetie.

In an unassuming shabby safehouse, one of many he owned around the world, you felt a moment of peace, as false as it may be.

He paced the living room, exhaustion etched on his features. He still hadn’t adjusted to this daytime schedule, and though not a word of complaint or discomfort ever left his lips, you knew he had been pushing himself to his limits to keep you safe.

Sylus, you called, worried, come rest.

He reassured you with a smile, a near perfect façade had it been anyone else he was trying to fool. You knew when he would put on a mask, and you didn’t like it—you were upset that he was lying to you for your sake.

I’m tired, you fibbed, Can we nap together?

Strange how you didn’t feel any qualms about lying for his sake instead. You supposed you were a hypocrite.

Very well. He seemed to concede. What a fussy kitten.

There was no malice in his words. There never were.

You guided his head to your lap, his body barely fitting on the small sofa, but it would do. You stroked his hair, seeing him surrendering to his exhaustion—surrendering to you, as well.

You hummed a song, something light and soothing. His soft snoring soon joined your melody, the two sounds bringing life to this long unoccupied house.

For a moment, this unassuming, shabby safehouse almost felt like a home.

It would be nice to make this place a true home with him, you thought. Some fresh flowers, a little sunlight, and maybe a picture or two could help with the illusion.

Such wishful thinking. You knew in a few days you would both need to leave. This was only temporary.

You needed to go farther—to the place where everything was new and you were nothing more than an unknown drifter seeking something permanent.

For now, though, you both rested. You let your song soothed him, just as his presence had given you hope.

You often wondered what permanent looked like. You also wondered if you and he had the same definition for the word. There were more idle times now than before, so you both humored one another with your own thoughts and whims.

A little cottage in the woods, you thought aloud as you and he lazed about on the couch. You could have a little vegetable garden, and maybe you could also learn how to make your own bread as well.

He could hunt, or perhaps, he could also put his fishing skills to use.

You might even raise chickens. Maybe some ducks, too.

Sweetie, you have it all planned out, he teased, pinching your cheek.

You swatted his hand away, but you couldn’t deny this. You had thought about this life. Thought about it often, in fact. You couldn’t help it. It seemed you had more time to let your mind wander.

Well, you weren’t alone. He also had his own thoughts, his own vision he wished to share.

A seaside house on a cliff, he suggested, adding, We could watch dolphins from the balcony. And have a gin fizz or two.

You laughed and shook your head. What, no tequila?

Tequila can be for breakfast, he added, matching your humor with the same tone and a playful smirk.

We could also have a hot tub on the deck, he added with a lecherous smirk on his handsome face. A nice soak as we watch the sun set over the horizon.

Yeah? Your heart beat faster, his lips looming near yours.

We could also stargaze together, he continued in that same easy tone. So teasingly close, his lips just barely ghosted against yours. He must be doing this on purpose, wanting to see you fluster and squirm because of him. What a scoundrel.

You have it all planned out, you echoed his earlier words back to him, his immediate response that nearly insufferable trademark smirk of his. You caved in first, eagerly taking his lips, wanting to quell the growing heat between the two of you.

He succumbed to your whims, his back suddenly against the couch cushions, your body on top of his. He answered your desperation with his own, all lucid thoughts leaving as you both submitted to your instincts, letting your desires guide you both to Heaven and Hell and back again.

An apartment in the city.

In the city? Again, sweetie?

What better place than hidden in plain sight?

A clever kitten.

You remembered wining and dining under starry skies. The rich food filled your belly wonderfully and the aged wine tasted like the sacred nectar of the gods. Blissfully tipsy, you remembered dancing with him on a rooftop, swaying and twirling, feeling like you were on cloud nine as the stars above shined brilliantly while city lights twinkled and gleamed.

In a humid, cramped bus, you leaned against his shoulder, remembering distant memories that might as well just be silly old fairy tales.

The days blended together. Most days, you weren’t sure if it was Monday or Tuesday, or perhaps it was neither, and it was actually Thursday.

He had acquired a car. Temporary, just like everything else in your life had been these past few months. As he filled the car with gas, you wandered into the convenience store. That particular scent hit you instantly, a strange feeling of nostalgia for something you had never missed.

You wandered down the aisles, hand skimming over the different snacks on display. None of them really caught your eyes or stirred up a craving, but you still picked out a few just in case. As you were checking out, you also grabbed an ice cream bar. The heat was unbearable and a strawberry shortcake bar suddenly sounded enticing. You missed the taste of fresh fruits, something that you never thought would one day be scarce and a sudden luxury.

As you left the store, ice cream bar unwrapped and the refreshing, cooling sweet taste on your tongue, you remembered the time when you and he went to pick strawberries together.

He had already finished refilling the gas tank. As he leaned against the car waiting for you, sunglasses over his eyes, you approached him, holding the cold treat up.

Want a bite?

He smirked, and took a generous bite to your dismay.

H-hey! That was a big bite!

Sorry, sweetie. He didn’t sound apologetic at all. What a prick.

I hope you get brain freeze.

And he laughed, already getting back into the car with you following suit. When you turned to buckle your seatbelt, his hand was on your cheek, already guiding you to his lips. He kissed you sweetly, nibbling on your lips as he tasted you.

When he parted, he smirked at your confusion, your breathing still shaky.

You had ice cream on your lips, he answered matter-of-factly.

Flustered, it took your brain a few seconds too long to register his mischievous words. When it finally clicked, you leaned back over, this time surprising him as you took charge. You kissed as if it was your last, as if he was the air that you needed, and he responded with equal fervor, treating you like a gift bestowed upon him by the highest being, or perhaps more like a forbidden treasure he had greedily coveted. Before the growing lust could cloud your mind, all semblance of reality returned when you heard the incessant honking from the car behind you, and had he been in a sour mood, perhaps there would have been an altercation, one that would end horrendously for the other party, of course.

But he smirked. He leered at the car behind him before speeding off. As he drove, you noticed him licking his lips.

Strawberry, he said, pondering, We should get this ice cream bar again.

You agreed, delighting in the taste of him that still lingered on your lips.

All thoughts disappeared, all of those dirty matrasses from dingy motel rooms didn’t seem to matter. You would always welcome him into you, the late, long nights of lovemaking a sweet escape from the reality you lived. In these little moments of you and him, he was your whole world and you were his. Deep kisses branded your skin, the heated moans of you and him mingled with every movement, every pulse, the need to chase after that paradise heightened by the shared growing passion.

You had memorized his every feature, his every being. The jewel-like crimson eyes of his always reflecting his deep devotion to you, the promise to always surrender to you had long been fulfilled. With every searing hot touch, he worshiped you like a devout man knelt at the altar of a goddess, beseeching her blessings.

He satisfied all of your needs, your desires his to fulfill, willingly and devotedly. No rules to bind you, nothing more to lose, you succumbed to your desires, drifting off to a state of pure euphoria only he could bring you to, just as you were all that he longed for, the only one who he would let rule his heart and bring him to his knees.

When you returned from your high, with the threat of dawn looming, he held you close, gentle fingers threading through your hair soothingly, his warm, deep voice feeling like home.

He lulled you with words of a distant future.

Maybe…we can get a dog.

You laughed. You don’t seem like a dog person, you reminded him, your finger poking his cheek in jest.

He smiled, and grabbed your wrist. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your hand, the simple act had you stilling with pretty rosy cheeks, illuminated in the dark by a single ray of moonlight.

A cat then, he said, his voice teasing. He stroked your cheek, his fingers just barely skimming against your skin. Maybe two, so she wouldn’t be lonely.

Yeah? you asked, breathless, What else?

He hummed as he contemplated. White picket fences…Have coffee ready for you in the morning…red checkered blanket and a picnic under the sun…

It doesn’t sound like you… you quipped.

It could be me, he responded, his hand moving to tuck strands of hair behind your ear, his soft voice continuing, It could be us. And also—

His words stopped abruptly, sparking your curiosity. You questioned him, but he only answered with an ambiguous smile and a dismissive, amused shake of his head, as if what he was thinking was nothing of importance to dwell further.

It’s late, he whispered, kissing your forehead, Sleep, my beloved.

As you settled more comfortably into his embrace, you felt his hand resting over your lower abdomen, the touch unlike any other time he would embrace you. As your heavy eyelids closed, you realized the words he had withheld, the hopeful future even he seemed too scared to voice into existence.

In your dream, you could have sworn you heard the pitter-patters of small feet on hardwood floor, and his voice full of joy as he effortlessly swept up into his strong arms two little children, a boy and a girl, perfect blends of you and him.

Such a shame that it was only a dream, you thought the morning after in bed as you watched him shaved the five o’ clock shadow from his face in the dirty motel bathroom.

In the mirror reflection, he noticed you sitting up in bed, the cover barely covering your nude body, hair in disarray, and he smiled. You smiled back.

Such a shame indeed, you thought again, feeling a strange ache in your chest as your mind drifted back to the little boy and girl in your dream.

It was amazing how you still had an appetite.

Eggs and bacon seemed extra delicious at diners in the middle of nowhere. As if stuck in time, it looked nothing like the modern eateries you were familiar with. Black and white checkered flooring, large red booths, an old barely working jukebox in a corner—everything seemed like it was untouched by modern advancements, living peacefully in its own world of idle monotony.

As you finished your meal, he stood up, walking over to the ancient jukebox out of curiosity.

He perused the song choices, brows furrowed in contemplation before he settled on one:

In the still of the night / I held you / Held you tight.

Your head lifted at the smooth crooning, eyes meeting his just as he walked back to the booth, his hand extended to you. Silently, a little embarrassed, you took his hand, just like you always seemed to do.

Promise I’ll never / Let you go.

He twirled you around before his hand found your waist, steadying you as he moved you to the rhythm of the music. In the near empty diner, you danced with him, remembering a time long ago, you two had also waltzed just like this.

To keep your precious love.

Your head rested against his chest, his arms around you as he swayed you gently to the music as it faded to silence. Even long after the song had ended, you stayed in his arms, holding firmly onto the one constancy you still held from your past.

Things could get worse.

I’ll be there every step of the way.

An old television set, from decades ago, flashed for an instance a photo of you. Without words, he had dropped a generous amount of bills on the table, his hand already reaching for yours and taking you away before anyone could be wiser.

By the time the waitress had come to clear the table, her tired mind suddenly realizing as she looked from the television back to the empty booth, the young couple had already left town. Discreetly, she tucked away the extra bills into her bra, and resumed her monotonous day, blissfully ignorant and a few hundred dollars richer.

In an old convertible from long ago, driving down an endless, deserted road, you woke up in the passenger seat to his—peculiar—singing alongside the car radio:

No matter what you are / I will always be with you / Doesn’t matter what you do, girl.

You giggled and he turned to look at you momentarily before his eyes redirected to the long road ahead. The radio continued to play the song as you and he conversed:

You’re actually laughing at me, he quipped. You’re so cruel, sweetie.

With you, you corrected him cheekily.

Funny, I wasn’t aware that I was laughing.

You were, you insisted audaciously.

In that case, laugh with me then, sweetie.

You giggled again. I don’t know this song.

His eyes remained ahead, but his right hand reached over to rest on your thigh. He squeezed you gently in reassurance, and as the song neared the end, he sang along again, Ooh girl, you girl, want you.

The radio played the next song, but you settled in your seat, his hand still resting on your thigh and you hummed again the previous song before the gentle drive lulled you back to sleep again. As your consciousness faded away, you heard distantly his voice singing the current song:

So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep / Sometimes / All I need is the air that I breathe / And to love you.

The time that passed made the line between reality and dream blurred. The life you lived, running away with him felt more dreamlike with each passing day as you bounced from old motels to grand estates to the most discreet safehouses he owned. Nothing in either of your life felt permanent right now, except for each other, the only constancy in this reckless fleeing.

You had both discarded your names, only taking them back at night when you were both truly alone, feeling like two lost souls abandoned by the universe. In the dark, you moaned each other’s name, such lovely sounds as warm breath ghosted over slicked skin.

Your hands lightly touched his face, his eyes always locked with yours. Your shuddering gasps and his barely-restrained moans followed in suits as his hands gripped tighter your hips, guiding you up and down on his length. You kissed him, crying as he pierced you again and again, his movements rushing as he felt you nearing your release.

…I can’t…I need to…Sy…please…please…

Hngh…ye-yes…

He was panting, his eyes darkened by the heavy arousal of seeing you, his beloved, falling apart for him—because of him. You arched forward into him, his name spilling out from your lips and pleasure coursed through your entire being. With a few more rushed thrusts, his own release came, his deep groans resonated in your ears as he filled you full.

Collapsed on him, you both rested lazily together with his softened member still inside you and his seed dripping obscenely down your thighs. You hummed into his skin, boneless and satisfied, his warmth so familiar and addicting.

Just two nobody’s in the world, but in this moment, it felt like no one else existed and you were both truly the last of your kind.

How heavenly.

Away, away, you ran from town to town, the final destination only a vague dream. The further you ran, the lighter your heart felt. In his eyes, the bird that was caged was now soaring high. His only wish was to save her before her wings were clipped, and now he would follow her wherever she would take him, her song beckoning him to a paradise for two.

Don’t let go.

Sweetie, you’re stuck with me for life.

Higher and higher, you soared, the sun threatening to scorch your wings.

If you fall, you knew he would be there to catch you. So, you continued to fly, your hand outstretched. All of Heaven would be yours to command. You were going to unlock paradise, a place for two kindred spirits, the last of their kinds, forevermore tethered to one another.

Eventually, the dream came to an end, life catching up within a flash.

You had grown a little careless, believing that you were just a nobody drifting through life, forgetting that there was still a hefty bounty to your name.

Someone had seen your face. Someone had snitched. You wondered if they truly believed you were dangerous, or perhaps it was merely just human greed that drove them to expose you. You supposed it didn’t really matter in the end now. It was all over anyway.

You looked to him, and he to you. A silent exchange of words, an understanding reached.

The distant sirens grew louder and louder as they approached your final hideout.

There was banging outside the motel room, scattered voices calling for your surrender. There would be no negotiation. It wouldn’t matter if they dragged your dead body out instead. On command, a red laser dot maneuvered into the room from the open window, aligning to your head. Your heart was racing, but you stayed grounded, your eyes locked on his.

In just seconds, everything was about to change.

Five.

Four.

Do you trust me? he asked, his hand held out.

With my life, you answered automatically, your hand in his, and with a tug, you were pulled into his familiar warmth, safe and secured as a gunshot sounded and the glass window shattered. His large hand pressed your head gently to his chest, shielding you from the sounds, and just like that, you both left this world behind, disappearing into the swirls of red and black mist he had summoned before the motel door came crashing down.

One.

The end.

Somewhere, in another place, in another time, you woke up to clear blue skies, white picket fences, the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen, and you heard his laughter mingling with the sweet giggles of two little children.

You hummed pleasantly into your pillow, the sounds of footsteps getting louder and louder until the bedroom door opened. The bed shifted, his heavy weight on you, and your children’s assaulting kisses stealing away your breath and laughter.

Joyful tears brimmed your eyes, your belly aching tremendously from helpless laughter, and your heart at peace as he gazed down at you, his love steadfast and true.

It was almost nine in the morning, but you stayed lounging in bed, surrounded by all that mattered to you. Your children snuggled close to you on either side, your one free hand reached out for his, his hold ever familiar and constant.

His smile mirrored yours, the same devotion in his eyes just like long ago when he took this same hand and whisked you away, running and running until you found your home again at the end of the world.

His thumb caressed yours, his honeyed voice a sweet lullaby. I love you.

And you smiled back. I love you more.

He laughed, surrendering once more to you, always for you.

The past seemed distant, the future too far away. Cradled in the present, in this instance, the world seemed at peace again, and life moved on.

[nonbinoclard]

>>> TUNES TO LOSE YOUR MIND TO <<<

KEEP IN MIND: This is a living playlist! Songs may be added and removed at times to further curate the vibe I'm going for. I'll try to keep this post updated, but you can just check out the link for an up-to-date track list.

(EDIT: Song discussions are not finished! I have a lot more to say. I'll reblog when I've updated.)

This is set in a sort of nebulous time between Harry's life right before Martinaise and the night before he lost his memory. I wanted this playlist to feel erratic-- full of manic energy one second, then slow and bleak the next, dreamy, unreal, then right back to ridiculous.

(In no particular order. Shuffle for full emotional whiplash effect.)

I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski

I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room [...] And then I get sick and throw up and there's another memory that gets stuck / Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk / And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still

The days before cleaning out the rooms... also, eating an entire cake and throwing it all up again feels very harry-esque... Overindulgence

A whole cake, so please don't take / Take this job from me

End Of The World - Hether

I mean, I could just post the entire set of lyrics as evidence, tbh. Struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life in the wake of heartbreak (5 year old heartbreak, but who's counting anyway)

I wake up in the morning and I wonder / Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand / No I can't understand / How life goes on the way it does

Cane Shuga - Glass Animals

Baby, don't go / I'll stop breathing coke / No more bloody nose / No more John Does Burn through my love / Just like your drugs / I've had quite enough / Or lack thereof

This is about the last moments of Harry and Dora's relationship to me. The chorus (a kind of circular, endless, self-aggrandizing internal monologue likely fueled by stimulants, implied in the song) continuing after the second verse kind of reflects the solution for Lonesome Long Way Home.

"11 Voyager Road. You no longer live there. Those times are gone, and so are those people. Why did you come here? Why are you still here? And where’s the dealer? You have to get back to work. That’s all you have now."

Hot Venom - Miniature Tigers

Hot venom is mixing with my blood / I can feel it on my fingers and taste it on her tongue / It feels so good to fall in love with you

I've heard a lot of people say this song is about heroin addiction, which is thematically appropriate for this playlist, but also. Harry's unhealthy obsession with Dora/Dolores Dei. Adoration (and hatred) so strong it's killing him.

Her venom makes me strong / Stronger than I am on my own / Before too long, I'll wake up to it gone / Wondering how I ever was happy [...] You can't go back now; that's not how this works / And as long as she's gone, I can never be happy

Who Is She ? - I Monster

This is just straight up about Harry's recurring dream to me. Just. Gestures at the lyrics.

Oh, who is she? / A misty memory / A haunting face / Is she a lost embrace? Am I in love with just a theme? / Or is Ayesha just a dream?

I feel like it falls in line really well with the idea that Harry's mind has been affected by the Pale-- a lack of memory, or maybe mixed memories, in a misty haze beyond the boundaries of reality. (and maybe Dolores Dei has started haunting him via Pale? Like some theories I've read.)

Somewhere across the sea of time / A love immortal such as mine Will come to me / Eternally

I Don't Miss You at All - FINNEAS

Dummy - Portugal. The Man

F the World - The Northern Boys

You Stupid Bitch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Show)

These shards are a metaphor for my soul Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll

This song perfectly captures the inherent melodrama of a mental downward spiral imo. Catastrophic and all-encompassing. This is what I think it sounds like in there (Harry's head).

You ruined everything / You stupid bitch / You ruined everything / You stupid, stupid bitch / You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things / And wants the world to burn / Bitch / You're a stupid bitch / And lose some weight

Oleander - Mother Mother

Intermission - Scissor Sisters

Skit #2 - Kanye West

Self explanatory. He's got no money. He's got no clothes. He has no car and he has no hoes.

We broke, broke broke phi broke We ain't got it Broke, broke, broke phi broke We ain't got it Don't spend no money, ain't got no clothes Ain't got no cars, ain't got no hoes

Nobody - Mitski

My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people

This one is more about the feeling of the song itself rather than the lyrics specifically; I love the upbeat tempo that continues through the song (trying to remain steady, continue working), how the beat is simple at first then builds into a kaleidoscope of sound by the end of the track (overwhelmed by the world), then ending in a distorted loop (trapped in a cycle). This song has always felt really authentic to my own experience with mental spirals. The themes of loneliness tie it all into a nice bow.

I'm A Broken Heart - the bird and the bee

Not Allowed - TV Girl

Party Time - The Northern Boys

Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters

(Do The) Act Like You Never Met Me - TV Girl

Novocaine For The Soul - Eels

Basket Case - Green Day

Do you have the time / to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools / Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it

I just think this one fits him well during Martinaise... just shaken up and unloading trauma onto unsuspecting strangers like a can of soda (bad analogy lol), depending on the dialogue you choose.

I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, she said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down

Sometimes, I give myself the creeps / Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up / I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid, or am I stoned?

Also it's just a little pathetic, which just... it fits. Sorry Harry.

Labyrinth - Miracle Musical

[graymatters]

It came easy, darlin

I am obsessed with To Someone From a Warm Climate by Hozier, one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. Draco and Harry have been rattling about in my head with it for months, and it can't possibly do the song justice, but I just had to write these soft boys under covers in the winter.

Harry hears Draco come in before he sees him, the floorboards creaking despite his slow and careful steps. In the cool darkness, Harry watches as Draco tiptoes across their bedroom, quietly shedding his cloak and jacket. It’s late, later than Harry expected him; Draco usually slips in unnoticed after his shifts at St. Mungo’s. But this time, the hinges of the closet door whine when he pulls it open, drawn out by his slow pace, and the hangers ring like a wind chime when he hangs up his clothes. Harry can only chuckle from his spot beneath the covers as Draco sighs a very long and exasperated breath.

“You tried,” Harry says, pulling the blankets down next to him and patting the empty spot on the bed.

“I tried,” Draco agrees as he removes his sea green robes, until he’s standing bare in just a pair of boxers, covered in Golden Snitches (Harry’s boxers, Harry notes. He doesn’t fail to notice the way they fall loose around his hips, the sharpness of his hip bones on full display. Harry’s eyes trail higher, admiring the expanse of pale skin over Draco’s chest, the shape of his arms, the slope of his throat—). 

“Harry, are you listening?”

“No, not at all.”

Draco shakes his head, resting a knee on the edge of the bed. The mattress sinks under his weight, and Harry’s body shifts towards him, not unlike it often does when he’s around Draco, stuck in his orbit.

“I said work was atrocious. And it’s freezing outside,” Draco says with a very explicit and purposeful pout. Christ, Harry loves this man, with his mean eyebrows and his knobby knees and his smart mouth.

Harry reaches for him. “Come here, then. Let me help.”

Draco takes Harry’s hand, slipping into bed beside him. And it happens easy, the way their foreheads come to touch, how their hands wander over familiar breadths of bare skin, the gentle shift of Draco’s leg slotting neatly between Harry’s. Like a cat seeking warmth from a sunny spot on the floor, Draco curls into Harry, soaking up every ounce of Harry’s heat. Harry gives it, would happily give it all, to hear another of Draco’s contented sighs.

“How’s your hip?” Harry asks, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb over the icy skin of Draco’s thigh. Cold temperatures remind them of their age, these days.

“Sore,” Draco answers. His fingers press into Harry’s shoulder, flexing as Harry grazes over tender muscle. “Heat would help.” 

Harry recognizes the unspoken request, giving Draco a chaste kiss in agreement as he closes his eyes. Magic always feels more natural with Draco—easy and willing to spill over from his fingertips with only a thought. He daydreams of their trip to Sardinia last summer, days spent sprawled together on the beach, the sun’s warm rays freckling Draco’s shoulders. He’d kissed every one of them, a hundred times over, before they’d disappeared in the autumn haze. For a moment, they’re on that white sand heat spreading beneath them, until Harry opens his eyes to find Draco, sated and starry eyed as he blows a lock of icy grey hair from his forehead.

Draco hums. “Thank you, darling.”

Sometimes, Harry forgets how hard it was to get to this place, to this moment in their bed. But it’s these moments, with their tangled limbs and mingled breath, that make it easy to choose each other, day after day and year after year. 

A gust of wind shakes the tree branches that hang over the house. An icy rain prattles at the windows. The radiator creaks from its spot in the corner. Harry pays them no mind as he lays his head on Draco’s chest, lulled to sleep by the graze of Draco’s fingertips at his scalp and the rhythm of Draco’s heartbeat in his ear.

[tarotbyjam24]

What are you manifesting in 2025 ?

Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated :) thankyou for stopping by <3 🌷

disclaimer : Reading may or may not resonate . Take only what resonates leave the rest .🧚🏻

Pile 1 pile 2

pile 3 pile 4

Pile 1 :

Hi pile 1 let's check your accomplishments for this year :) I see you're getting so many good opportunities your way this year . There may be also possibility of you having your alone and silent time where no one disturbs you may be you get disturbed by so many people often . Another thing's I'm getting you getting worried about things that aren't for you that'll keep you awake in nights resulting in anxiety, poor mental health and skin issues so I'll say don't worry too much go with the flow take outmost care of yourself. Possibly you'll let your fears out infront of others things you've been holding for a while you're finally letting them go . You've been strong for so long but this one things will break you leading to let your all inner frustrations out and making you feel lighter finally . You'll finally stand for yourself pile 1 it's your era this time . We're finally getting to the real pile 1 without mask in the limelight and how powerful n strong they're. I also feel this year you'll catch people's attention more than usual which may be good for some people if they're looking for some more connections with world . Also pile 1 you're manifesting having some celebrations seems like it's been long since you went to some good parties and marriages. I also see some love connections for y'all who are interested in romantic relationships. This may also result in marriages. Some you're also manifesting apartments for yourself which I see happening this year so congratulations babe! I also see you not feeling like a bone in chicken and putting yourself out more . You may have felt like a outcast for sometime but not anymore. This year I see you being more vulnerable and having happy tears too ! You may also workout on the things that are already around and not looking too far or making long term goal . Sometimes it's good to have short term goals and short term goals leading to long term goals in the end . Happy New year ✨💗

pick a cards

pile 2 :

Hi pile 2 let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 . First of all I'm getting you're manifesting to get more opportunities offered for you but you all need to be receptive for it . You may also be manifesting some more connections in life like expanding your friend circle or work related colleagues . Some of you may also be manifesting to cross\breaking the boundaries or rules that aren't really suitable to follow . Some of you are also manifesting to get promotion at your jobs or just getting more earning options in general . I'm also hearing this line from halsey's song 'without me '

Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there?

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Well I wanna tell you it's not always lonely up there and it feels amazing to reach on the place where noone has reached yet:) I'm also getting you're manifesting new people in your love life if you're single. You could also be getting some confessions and roses . I'm so happy for you all <3 and if you're in relationship than the hardships that you were facing will soon be solved and harmony will be there . I also feel that you are putting yourself out more and letting yourself enjoy the world because you before didn't do that .I also feel you are manifesting to have a pet animal in your life . Next thing you are manifesting is to have a balance between the extremes and lows . It could be you having your meals at time and not binging or starving yourself, having balance between the jobs and school. You're also manifesting to travel probably going abroad too . That's all pile 2 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Happy New year ✨💗

pick a cards

pile 3 :

Hi pile 3 let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 ,I see you're keep your focus on you maybe this year you're getting more into sprituality and practicing sprituality more . You're manifesting to build your inner strength more becoming more stronger to face the outer world . You may also be manifesting geting outta relationships which aren't working because of communication gaps . After you becoming more stronger I see you're manifesting to putting yourself out more ,enjoying the world ,getting into more social interactions,sharing your light with the people around you . You're manifesting to take charge of your life . You're manifesting to remove those people from life who tried to control you and tried to make you walk on the paths they pave for you but now you're paving your path ,being responsible for yourself more . And this is gonna give a new insight about life and how intresting,lively it is to live more on your own morals and values . Although life may challenge you more to test your waters but don't drown pile 3 you're still having ground under your feet and know that you can feel the land it's not that deep . Don't feel tied down and swim\walk outta it . If possible ask for help from people around you . It's not bad to take some guidance from young and old people :) also don't get stuck on your point of view be open to other people's point of view they may help you to see new horizons and open your eyes to new heights. Take care of your health and rest more to rejuvenate yourself . You may also get so many responsibilities but don't take so many responsibilities at once to fulfill as it may lead to you having sour behaviour with others .Happy New year ✨💗

pick a cards

pile 4 :

Hi pile 4 ,let's see what you're manifesting in 2025 . I see you're manifesting to get reading for giving exams or landing a job and you're succeeding in it . I also feel you're manifesting to return to your home after long time and you're looking forward to it excitingly . I'm also seeing you're manifesting to get healed from your past traumas and caring more about your health be it physical or mental. You're taking certain steps that are required to keep you healthy. Stay strong pile 4 ! I'm also seeing you're recovering from the people who have hurt you by their words or physically. I feel things that were disturbing you are getting away from,letting you focus on your goals .I also see you're manifesting to get in flow for everything things arranging themselves for you accordingly. I also see you're putting your all focus cutting of everything like everything to lock in . Your reading is more focused on you being super duper focused on the things that you're working towards . You're putting everything off for your this one important goal . I'm so happy with the focus you're putting in . I know you're gonna succeed pile 4 . You got this ! Duh !! Lastly I wanna say don't forget to eat and have fun with your close friends and family . Please share your burdens with them,don't carry it all alone.Happy New year ✨💗

pick a cards

Thankyou so much for letting me read for you .I'm very grateful that I'm able to share my abilities with you all . It's been a great experience. Reading may or may not resonate with you since it's a general reading . Please take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so . If the reading doesn't resonate there were no messages for you through this reading ! 🤍🧚🏻I'm grateful if you read the reading . Wishing you all the great week ahead 🎀 and happy holidays!

💕 love ,jam

[bokutosbabe]

જ⁀♡⊹｡° hope you think of me

( rin itoshi x fem! reader )

♡ a/n — hi all! this is part of my new series! if you know me, or my account in general lol , you'd be able to pick up on some taylor swift references in the form of titles :) i do base a lot of my writing off songs! so, i decided to rework old work and...decided to start the new discography masterlist! the masterlist will be made soon, but the basics is that i paired ( almost ) every taylor song with a bllk character! i hope you enjoy the ride ;)

♡ content — rin itoshi x fem! reader, fem! reader, set in both before rin went to blue lock and when he is a pro soccer player, the past will be in italics, the present will be normal text, established relationship, rin misses reader, kinda angst?, unrequited love, pining

♡ synopsis — It all crumbled down the day Rin Itoshi got that letter from Blue Lock. Why couldn't he easily choose one...you? or his dream? In his mind, the two couldn't exist together.

The bright lights of the stadium flicker on, casting long shadows across the pitch as the crowd roars in the background. The announcer’s voice echoes in the air, but all Rin can hear is the soft whisper of your name in the back of his mind, a constant refrain.

His eyes wander across the field, distracted by the fleeting moments that remind him of you, even though he’s supposed to be focused.

It's strange how everything about this stadium feels like a reflection of you. The banner for the jewelry sponsor—that’s the one you always liked. The colors in the ad are almost the same as the ones in your old childhood bedroom, the same shade of deep blue that you said matched the ocean.

And then there’s the scent of fresh grass, the kind that always reminded him of the times you two spent lying on the grass after school, listening to music while you tried to figure out who was more stubborn—him or you?

He should've known it would end like this.

It all crumbled down the day he got that letter from Blue Lock. Why couldn't it have been easy? Why couldn't he easily choose one...you? or his dream?

In his mind, the two couldn't exist together.

"Why do you care so much, Rin?" you’d asked after his constant nagging about what you wanted to do after high school, your voice soft but strained, like you could already feel the weight of the words before they even came.

He should’ve softened, should’ve told you everything that was happening inside him, but he didn’t. Instead, he let the silence grow thick, each word building a wall between you that no apology could ever tear down.

He pushed you away with every passing second. "It’s over," he’d said. Even as his heart ached, watching your big eyes widen and fill with tears, he couldn't risk giving up.

He had to reach him.

"You wouldn’t understand. Whatever. I have bigger things to focus on than you."

Your eyes… they were full of hurt, but you didn’t say a word. You just turned away, the soft click of your shoes leaving out his bedroom door and home sounding like the final nail in the coffin of everything you had.

The crowd's cheers feel distant now, like they belong to someone else. Rin runs a hand through his hair, trying to focus, but all he can do is look around and see you everywhere.

The water bottle with the same brand you used to buy. The locker room seats that remind him of how you’d wait for him after every match, always there, your smile the only thing that made him feel like he belonged somewhere.

He remembers the things you liked—small, silly details that seemed insignificant at the time, but now, they’re all he can hold on to.

He remembers the little things. The music you loved—the way it played softly from your car every time you'd drove to the beach, how you'd hum along with the lyrics, your fingers tapping the steering wheel.

You said the songs made you feel alive, like it was a memory of something you couldn’t quite place.

He didn’t realize until now, standing here in this stadium, that he was the one who made you feel like a memory.

He stepped onto the field, shaking off the weight of the past, but even as the game starts, the images of you flood back in—your laugh, your touch, the way you’d get embarrassed when you said something too cheesy.

The way you always made him laugh without trying to.

"You really remember everything, don’t you?" you had said once, your eyes teasing.

"Everything that matters," he replied without thinking.

Now, as he steps onto the field, the memory hit him like a punch to the gut. What really mattered? Because what he remembers isn’t just your smile or the way you made everything feel like home. What he remembers is how much you gave him, how much you loved him, and how much he didn’t deserve any of it.

The game continued on, but the colors, the lights, the little reminders—they all blur together.

Rin’s vision fades, and for a moment, it’s just him, standing still in the middle of the field, surrounded by a sea of faces, none of them yours.

And yet, every second feels like it’s laced with memories of you.

hope everyone enjoyed :)

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!

[wisegirl25]

It’s been a month and I’m still in shock over timebomb actually being canon

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would happen

And somehow their canon relationship is more beautiful than any fanfic could conjure up

It’s heartbreaking, it’s soul crushing, but it’s pure and complicated and beautiful

I love them so much

Rewatching the dance scenes between Ekko and Powder make me so unbearably happy and sad at the same time

Like the melancholy of knowing it won’t last, but being glad it happened anyways, even for a short time

Not to mention Ma Meilleure Ennemie is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard

It perfectly captures their relationship and now I’m fucking crying again

I keep seeing people mistranslating the line

“la pire des bénédictions, la plus belle des malédictions” to

“the worst of blessings, the best of curses” when it’s actually

“the worst of all blessings, the MOST BEAUTIFUL of curses” which is somehow even more sad

I’m heartbroken.

[leona-hawthorne]

FICMAS #11— IS IT NEW YEARS YET? / theodore nott

december 31st

theodore nott x reader

summary: after the shittiest year of his life, theodore turns to you to make his new years one of a kind... based on the song 'is it new years yet?' by sabrina carpenter!

warnings: fluff, drinking, kissing, swearing

words: 4k

a/n: last fic of the year!!! so insane, i love you all sm 🥹🤍

navigation ficmas masterlist

Theodore had always been good at pretending. For years, he’d kept himself locked behind a cool, unshakable exterior—the kind of calm that made people either envy him or wonder if he cared about anything at all. But tonight, even that mask felt brittle, cracked at the edges, much like the rest of him.

“Remind me again why we’re here?” you asked, leaning against the frosted window of the Astronomy Tower. The glow of enchanted lanterns cast a soft light over the room, catching in your eyes, and for a moment, Theo thought it might be enough to distract him from the ache in his chest. Almost.

“Because you insisted,” he replied, though his voice lacked its usual sharpness. 

You arched a brow, your breath fogging the glass as you tilted your head to glance at him. “I insisted you spend New Year’s Eve somewhere other than brooding in your dormitory. I didn’t insist you drag me up here to freeze.”

His lips tugged into a faint smirk, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thought you liked the view.”

“I’d like it better if my fingers weren’t turning blue,” you retorted, pulling your coat tighter around you.

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen Theo like this—quiet, withdrawn, carrying a heaviness that made it hard to meet his gaze for too long. The past year had gutted him in ways he wouldn’t talk about, and you’d learned not to push. Still, it hurt to watch him disappear into himself, piece by piece, especially when you knew he wouldn’t let anyone else pull him back.

Theo leaned against the opposite wall, hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, his posture casual, but the tension in his jaw betrayed him. His gaze flicked briefly to the courtyard below, where the rest of the school gathered for the New Year’s celebration. The laughter and cheers floated up, muffled by the tower’s height, and Theo’s scowl deepened.

“I just didn’t want to be down there,” he muttered finally.

You didn’t press for more. You didn’t need to. The holidays had a way of making the lonely feel lonelier, and while Theo would never admit it aloud, you could see he was tired of pretending he wasn’t one of them.

“It’s a stupid holiday,” he added, his voice low and rough from too many sleepless nights. “All this talk about new beginnings, fresh starts... it’s bullshit.”

You exhaled sharply, half amused, half exasperated. “You’re starting to sound like an old man.”

“Maybe I feel like one.” His smirk this time was wry, almost self-deprecating. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those ‘new year, new me’ people.”

You shrugged, leaning back against the window and fiddling with a loose thread on your sleeve. “Not exactly. But I think people need something to hold on to, even if it’s just an excuse to drink champagne and pretend next year won’t be just as bad.”

He let out a laugh, shaking his head. “Optimistic as ever, I see.”

You smiled faintly, the corners of your lips quirking up in a way that softened the air between you. “Well, someone has to balance you out.”

That earned a genuine smile, fleeting but real, and for a moment, the heaviness in the room seemed to lift. It was like this with Theo—comfortable in a way you couldn’t quite explain. He’d been in your life long enough to know when to push and when to let you sit in silence, and you’d learned to do the same for him.

But tonight, there was something restless about him, something in the way his fingers tapped against the railing or how he kept glancing at the watch on his wrist. Midnight was creeping closer, and with it, the end of the year he clearly wanted to forget.

His gaze lingered on you for a beat too long, and though the heaviness in his expression didn’t vanish, something in it shifted—faint, fleeting, but enough to make your chest ache. 

“What would you do,” he said suddenly, leaning his forearms on the railing, “if you could start over? Like, really start over. No past, no expectations—just… blank.”

You blinked at him, caught off guard. “You mean, if I could erase everything?”

“Not erase,” he corrected, his gaze fixed on the shimmering stars above. “Just… leave it behind.”

You hesitated, your stomach twisting at the thought. “I don’t know if I could. Even the bad stuff… it’s still part of me, you know?”

Theo’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he nodded slowly, as if he’d expected that answer but didn’t know what to do with it.

“You’re overthinking again,” you said softly, looking down at the wooden floor. “It’s New Year’s, Theo. You don’t have to have it all figured out tonight.”

“I don’t have anything figured out,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You’ve got me. That’s something.”

He looked at you then, really looked at you, and for a moment, the world outside seemed to fall away, a heavy silence settling over the two of you.

“So, what’s the plan?” you asked, breaking the silence. “Brood until midnight and call it a success?”

“Sounds efficient.” He lifted a bottle to his lips, taking a slow sip before adding dryly, “What were you expecting? Streamers? Confetti?”

“Maybe a little less gloom.” You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. “It’s New Year’s, Theo. You’re supposed to be… I don’t know, hopeful or something.”

“Hopeful,” he repeated, like it was a word in a foreign language. “Yeah, maybe next year.”

You rolled your eyes, but the frustration in your voice was half-hearted at best. Theo had been like this for weeks—withdrawn, sharp around the edges, like he was daring someone to try and cut through. And if anyone was stubborn enough to try, it was you.

Pushing away from the window, you stepped closer until you were standing in front of him. “You know, if you wanted to wallow in misery, you could’ve done that without dragging me into it.”

Theo tilted his head, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “And miss the opportunity to ruin your night? Never.”

You scoffed, though your lips twitched upward despite yourself. “So, again I ask, what’s the plan? Sit here, sulk, and drink yourself into oblivion?”

“Pretty much,” he said with a shrug, though there was a flicker of something unreadable in his gaze. “Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

You crossed your arms, meeting his eyes evenly. “I do, actually. But it involves you putting on something other than that sorry excuse for a jumper.”

He glanced down at himself—oversized knit, fraying at the cuffs, like he’d fished it out of a charity bin. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything,” you said flatly. “Get up. We’re going out.”

Theo groaned, dragging a hand through his hair. “You’re relentless.”

“And you’re boring.” You shot him a pointed look. “Come on, Theo. Don’t make me start this year regretting that I wasted my night on you.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his dark eyes searching yours. Then, slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. “Fine,” he said with mock exasperation. “But if I hate every second of it, I’m blaming you.”

“Deal.” You grinned, and this time, it reached your eyes, warm and teasing in a way you knew would get under his skin. “Now hurry up. Midnight’s not going to wait for you.”

Theo groaned for the fifth time in as many minutes, his breath fogging up in the freezing night air. "Tell me again why we couldn’t just stay in the tower?"

You shot him a glare, tightening your scarf around your neck. "Because, Nott, there’s only so much of your self-pity I can take before I start considering throwing myself off the Astronomy Tower."

“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Theo’s smirk was sharp, but there was no real malice behind it. It was the kind of banter that had always come easy between the two of you—even if, lately, it felt like you were the only one trying to keep it alive.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart,” you shot back, falling into step beside him as the two of you trudged down the snowy path toward Hogsmeade. 

Most of the village was still alive with revelers spilling out of The Three Broomsticks or clustered around the twinkling fairy lights strung up in the square. You glanced over at Theo, who was walking beside you with his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets. His expression was unreadable, his jaw tight, but at least he’d come without too much of a fight.

“Seriously, though,” you said after a moment, nudging his arm with your elbow. “Why do you hate New Year’s so much? It’s not like anyone’s expecting you to make a big speech or kiss anyone at midnight.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” he deadpanned, shoving his hands deeper into his coat pockets. “And for the record, it’s not just New Year’s. I hate most holidays. They’re all the same—just another excuse for people to pretend their lives aren’t completely miserable.”

You rolled your eyes, though there was a part of you that couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. Theo had always had a way of looking at the world like it was already halfway broken, and this year, with everything he’d been through—especially being home with just his sorry excuse for a father—it was hard to blame him.

“Not everyone’s as cynical as you, you know,” you said, your tone softer this time. “Some of us actually enjoy the whole ‘fresh start’ thing.”

“Yeah?” He glanced over at you, one eyebrow raised. “And what’s your big resolution for the year, then? Start reading your Potions textbook before the night before exams?”

You snorted. “Not quite. But thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Theo didn’t reply, but there was a flicker of amusement in his expression that made you feel like maybe—just maybe—you were starting to chip away at that armor he’d wrapped himself in.

“This feels like a mistake,” he muttered as the two of you stopped in front of a pub that was noticeably rowdier than the others.

“That’s because you think everything fun is a mistake,” you shot back, grinning as you pulled the door open. The warmth hit you immediately, along with the unmistakable scent of spiced cider and butterbeer. Laughter and music spilled out into the street, and you gave Theo a look. “Come on, live a little.”

“Live a little,” he echoed dryly, but he followed you inside anyway. The pub was cramped and noisy, filled with students and villagers alike, their laughter and chatter blending together in a kind of chaotic harmony. Someone in the corner was strumming a guitar, and a group near the bar was singing along with a warbling charm. Theo scanned the room, his expression bordering on skeptical. “This is your grand idea?”

You rolled your eyes, dragging him toward the bar. “Yes, and you’re welcome.”

It took some effort, but you managed to snag two seats at the end of the counter. The bartender—a cheerful woman with rosy cheeks and an apron dusted with flour—came over almost immediately. “What’ll it be, lovebirds?”

Theo’s brow arched slightly, and he opened his mouth to protest, but you beat him to it. “Two Firewhiskeys, and keep them coming.”

He gave you a sideways look as the bartender bustled off. “Bold choice. Didn’t know you could handle your liquor.”

“I can’t,” you admitted with a shrug, the corner of your lips twitching upward. “But if I’m spending New Year’s with you, I might as well make it interesting.”

That earned a quiet laugh, soft and unexpected, and for a moment, Theo almost looked like himself again. But then the drinks arrived, and the reality of the night crept back in.

The first round went down easy. The second was harder. By the third, Theo had stopped pretending he wasn’t enjoying himself, though he still had that guarded look in his eyes, like he was bracing for something to go wrong.

“Okay, your turn,” you said, pointing at him with your mug. “If you had to make a resolution—”

“Which I don’t,” he interrupted.

“—but if you did,” you continued, ignoring him, “what would it be?”

“Not to make resolutions,” he replied without missing a beat.

“Cop-out,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Come on, there’s got to be something.”

He hesitated, the edge of his glass resting against his lips. For a moment, you thought he might brush it off entirely, but then he set the drink down and exhaled slowly. “I guess… I’d like to stop feeling like this.”

“Like what?” you asked gently.

Theo’s gaze dropped to the counter, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. “Like I’m carrying around a graveyard.”

The weight of his words settled between you, heavy and unspoken. You wanted to say something—anything—but nothing felt right, so instead, you reached out and placed your hand over his. It was a small gesture, but it was enough to make him look up.

He sighed, running his other hand through his hair. “And maybe… Maybe try not to fuck up as much this year.”

The words were casual, but there was something raw in the way he said them. “Theo…”

“Don’t,” he said quickly, holding up a hand. “It’s fine. Just drink your butterbeer before it gets cold.”

You frowned but didn’t push, instead lifting your mug and taking a long sip. If Theo wasn’t ready to talk, you weren’t going to force him. But that didn’t mean you were going to let him wallow in silence, either.

“You’re not alone, Theo,” you said softly, your voice barely audible over the noise of the pub. “I know it feels like it sometimes, but you’re not.”

His lips parted, but whatever he was about to say was lost in the din of laughter and clinking glasses around you. He stared at you for a long moment, his blue eyes searching yours, and you could see the crack in his armor, the rawness he tried so hard to hide.

Before he could respond, the bartender came back with another round, breaking the moment. Theo pulled his hand away, and you let him, though you couldn’t help but notice the faint pink that had crept into his cheeks—not from the alcohol, but from something deeper, something unspoken.

As the minutes ticked closer to midnight, the pub’s energy seemed to swell. The noise was deafening—laughter and shouting from every direction, the clinking of glass, the music blasting from somewhere, and the din of excited chatter about the year ahead. You felt like you were drowning in it, and, for a brief moment, you regretted pulling Theo into this madness. He was still fidgeting, his eyes darting around the room like he was searching for an escape. 

“So,” you began, nudging him again, this time a little harder than before, “you ready for this?”

Theo shot you a sideways glance, his lip curling slightly in amusement. “For what, exactly?”

“Midnight,” you said, as though it should be obvious. “You know, the whole New Year’s thing?”

“Right,” he muttered, not looking at you, instead staring down at his drink. “Still not feeling it.”

“Yeah, well,” you said, leaning in, voice dropping into something softer, “you’re not getting away that easily. You promised me fun tonight, remember?”

Theo’s eyes flickered up to yours, and for a split second, you thought you saw a hint of hesitation in them before it was quickly replaced by something more guarded.

“Come on,” you said, nudging his shoulder. “We’re leaving.”

Theo didn’t even look at you, just let out a half-exasperated, half-amused scoff. “Leaving? What are we—”

Before he could finish, you grabbed his arm and tugged him toward the door. “Come on. I know you’re not having fun in here.”

He barely put up a fight. You both stepped outside, the cold air biting your skin immediately. You ignored the shiver down your spine as you led him toward the back of the pub. There was a small alleyway that led to a ladder up to the roof—a place you had discovered on a whim during a previous trip to Hogsmeade. 

He froze at the sight. “What the hell are we doing?”

You didn’t even hesitate. “I want to see the fireworks. Alone. On the roof.”

Theo looked at you for a moment, tilting his head as if he couldn’t believe you were real. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Dead serious,” you said, reaching up to grab the ladder and stepping on. “Come on!”

“I’m going to regret this,” Theo muttered as you started up the ladder, his voice a little strained as he climbed after you.

“No, you’re not,” you replied, trying to sound more convincing than you felt. “It’s just us, no crowds, no noise. I need a break from all of this... chaos.” You glanced over your shoulder, catching his eyes briefly. “I know you do too.”

There was a long pause before he muttered a soft, “Fair enough.”

The climb wasn’t long, but by the time you reached the rooftop, the chilly wind was already biting, and you couldn’t help but huddle in your coat as you looked out at the glittering view of the village below. The cold didn’t bother you so much now, though. The sound of the laughter and chatter from the pub faded into the distance, and for a moment, there was just the two of you, standing under the vast, starlit sky. 

Theo joined you on the rooftop with a sigh, hands shoved deep into his pockets. He didn’t speak at first, just stood beside you, looking out at the distant lights of the village. You let the silence stretch between you, the air sharp with unspoken thoughts. 

“How’s this?” you said, attempting to break the tension. “Better?”

“Much,” Theo said with a half-smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Still don’t know why you were so keen on climbing a roof, though.”

“I like the view,” you said, scanning the horizon. “And the fireworks are supposed to start soon. Thought it might be nice to see them from up here.”

Theo didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stood next to you, his body tense as he stared at the lights of the distant village, his face softening in the cool wind.

“You ready?” you asked, turning to look at him.

He snorted quietly. “Ready for what? My so-called ‘fresh start’? Sure.”

You chuckled. “Whatever. So what’s it going to be? Resolution time?”

“I already told you,” he muttered, his voice low. “Not a fan of resolutions.”

“Right, right,” you teased, nudging him again. “Sticking with the ones from before?”

“I don’t know,” Theo said, turning slightly to face you. “I guess, it’d be to stop wasting my time on things that don’t matter.”

Your heart skipped a beat, though you couldn’t quite tell if it was the alcohol or the weight of his words that made the air feel so heavy. He was looking at you now, his gaze intense, but you didn’t look away.

“Wasting time, huh?” You smiled softly, the words feeling like they were meant for more than just a joke. “Guess that means you think I’m a waste of time, then.”

His lips parted slightly, but he didn’t answer right away. Instead, his eyes flickered to the dark sky, the distant rumble of the fireworks growing louder. 

“No, I just…” he said quietly, almost as if he wasn’t really talking to you. “Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing, though. Wasting time... pretending I don’t care about things that I do.”

You swallowed hard. “Theo…”

He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, the words seeming to get tangled up in his throat. “I don’t know, okay? It’s just... this year was shit. I’m not even sure how to look at next year, let alone what I’m supposed to care about.”

You took a step closer to him, feeling the distance between you shrink just a little. “Well, you care about me, don’t you?”

Theo looked at you sharply, his gaze unreadable for a second. But then, his lips curled into that familiar, crooked smirk—the one you couldn’t decide if you loved or hated.

“I care about a lot of things,” he said, voice teasing now, though there was a rawness to it that hadn’t been there before. 

“And what about me?” you asked, your voice quieter, almost challenging. 

He was still smirking, but there was something softer in the way he looked at you, the vulnerability he usually kept hidden just barely breaking through. 

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll figure it out next year,” Theo said with a shrug, but his eyes were on you in a way that made your breath catch in your throat. 

You glanced at him, your voice quieter now. “So, what’s your plan for when the countdown hits?”

His lips twisted in a half-smile, though it seemed more wistful than anything else. “I don’t know. Same as always. Just another minute, another year gone by.”

You studied his face, wondering if there was more to that statement than he was letting on. “You don’t have to keep pretending everything’s fine, you know.”

Theo was silent for a moment, his gaze still fixed on the lights below. But when he spoke, his voice was lower, less guarded than usual. “I don’t know how to not pretend anymore. It’s easier that way.”

Before you could respond, the countdown began to echo from the village below, the cheers growing louder with each passing second. You reached out, tugging gently at the sleeve of his coat, a playful grin pulling at your lips.

“Ten seconds,” you said. “You’re not really going to start the year off alone, are you?”

Theo gave you a look, but there was something softer in his eyes now. “Not many options around us.”

You stepped closer, your heart thudding in your chest as you locked eyes with him. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to settle for me then, won’t you?”

There was a brief pause, a beat of hesitation, before Theo’s lips twitched upwards into something a little less bitter, a little more real.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Guess I will.”

The countdown rang out through the night air, and for a moment, everything seemed to stop. You hardly noticed anything else, your focus locked entirely on Theo as you took a step closer, the space between you shrinking until you were almost nose-to-nose.

And then—right at the stroke of midnight, just as the world below erupted in cheers and the sound of fireworks filled the air—you didn’t think. You just acted. 

You grabbed the front of his jacket, pulling him towards you, the moment electric between you both as you tilted your head up to meet his lips. 

He responded immediately, one hand sliding to the back of your neck, pulling you in, while the other held your lower back, his touch burning through the thickness of your coat. It was slow at first, almost tentative, like he wasn’t entirely sure this was real, but as the kiss deepened, it became undeniable—the tension, the unspoken emotions finally spilling over, the relief of everything that had been building between you.

The fireworks exploded above, but you didn’t see them. All that mattered was the way Theo’s lips felt against yours, the warmth of his body pressing into yours as the sounds of celebration and life faded away. It was just you and him now, the rest of the world vanishing in the noise of your first kiss. 

The only thing you could hear was the beat of your own heart, the sound of his breath mingling with yours as he pulled away just enough to look at you. 

“Happy New Year,” he said, breathless.

You smiled, a quiet laugh escaping you. “Happy New Year, Theo.”

For once, you didn’t feel the need to say anything else. You just stood there, in the silence that followed, watching the fireworks light up the sky—together. 

And maybe, just maybe, this year would be different after all.

​​ficmas taglist: @winnie1emon @ur-local-wizard @satosugu4-ever @ankoluvs @superstargirll @slytherin-princess-x @abeoavita @mattheoriddle101 @georgiastars13 @smoooore @mattheoriddles-sluttt @2dloveshp @mattysprincess @catching-fire-in-the-wind @revesephemeres @esmerai-artemis @clar2aa @iamaconfusedpan

[nosyp]

Suffocating Affection

Warnings = stalking, obsession, posessive behaviour, toxic behaviour,

Pairing = Stalker ex! Gojo x reader

Summary = Gojo won’t let go. Now, you’re trapped in his obsessive love.

Word count = 2.2k words

Read belooww 👇

“Y’know… you’re gonna have to stop following me,” you suddenly said. 

“You weren’t answering my texts or calls,” the voice behind you responded.

“Gosh, can’t you go bother someone else? Utahime? Shoko?” you say, turning around to be met with a tall, white-haired man. 

“Can’t. They don’t… understand you like I do.” He took a step closer, then another, and another. Every step he took seemed to close the distance between you and the chaos that always followed him. You instinctively took a step back, but the space was rapidly vanishing with every step he took.

“Ugh…” you started, but your voice faltered. “What do you want?”

“I just want you to stop ignoring me,” he said, his voice soft and almost affectionate, like he was explaining something simple. “I’ve been patient, but you’ve been running away. Don’t you think that’s unfair?”

His hand reached up, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, and you froze, not knowing whether to pull away or stay perfectly still. His touch was deceptively gentle, but you knew, you knew, wasn’t here for anything good.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Gojo continued, voice dropping to a whisper. “You’re mine. You always were, and you always will be.”

A sick, twisted part of you wanted to call him out on his craziness, to tell him this wasn’t normal. But looking into his eyes, you couldn’t deny how much power he held over you in this moment, and you weren’t sure if it was fear, fascination, or something worse.

But he was so damn close now, and you could feel the tension in the air. It was thick and heavy, almost suffocating.

“Go away, I don’t want you anywhere near me anymore, fuck off before I call the cops Gojo.” you demand, screaming at yourself internally to run.

“No-! That is not my name.” he squealed upon hearing what you called him. He much preferred your nicknames that you used to call him back then. That much is clear.

You sighed, turning your back to the man again. It was dark now, you were about to walk home before your crazy ex stopped you. What a fucking weirdo.

“What do you want from me anyway?” you ask, still looking away from him.

“I want you to come home. Come back to me, please,” he begged, his voice strained, showing how eager he was to have you back. It was genuine, almost pleading. But the look in his eyes? That’s what had you frozen in place, unable to move. His eyes were not human, behind those mesmerizing blue eyes was an inhuman force. Something you’d never want to come in contact with. 

Ever since the day you broke up with him, it’s been nothing but endless torture. The texts, the calls, the messages. Non-stop.

At first, it was just the occasional "Hey, hope you're okay," or "I miss you." texts. Then it became more intense. He'd send you things like songs that reminded him of you, photos of places you used to go together, small, intimate things that felt like a violation of everything you thought was private.

When you finally blocked his number, Gojo didn’t stop. He just got another one. And another.

And when you stopped replying to him online, that’s when he took it to the real world. He started showing up unannounced at your office, outside your apartment, and at your favorite café. He knew your routines, your habits. He knew when you’d be walking home and when you’d wake up.

And now, here he was, standing before you, taller than you remembered, wearing that same smug smile he used to wear when he was trying to charm you into letting your guard down.

You swallowed, fighting the urge to step back, but you couldn’t. Not with him so close.

“Gojo…” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “This isn’t love. This is an obsession. Get a life.”

His smile faltered for a split second before returning, even more unsettling. “Obsession? No. No, no, no. This is love. I’m just showing you how much I care.” He reached out, brushing his fingers against your cheek again, slow and deliberate, like a touch he’d memorized. “You were the one who left, remember? I’m just bringing you back to where you belong. Back to me.”

Your heart raced. The way he said it, the way he acted, it was impossible to ignore how deeply twisted this had all become. He wasn’t just trying to win you back. He was determined to possess you again.

“You don’t understand,” you started, voice shaking. “I’m not going to be your obsession, Gojo. I’m not your property.”

Gojo tilted his head, still smiling, but there was something darker in his gaze now… something more… possessive. “You never did understand, did you?” He closed the gap between you, his body heat overwhelming. “It’s not about ownership. It’s about… us. We’re meant to be, and I’m not going to let you walk away from that. Not again.”

Before you could react, he stepped even closer, his hand landing on your waist, pulling you toward him with a surprising amount of force. You gasped, feeling your pulse spike in alarm.

“You’ll see, eventually,” he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. “We’re perfect together. You don’t have to be scared. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll make everything just like it was before... just the way you wanted it.”

You tried to push away, but his grip tightened slightly, just enough to remind you of his strength and how easy it would be for him to keep you there forever, without you even realizing it.

“You’re still mine, you know,” Gojo whispered, his voice soft but insistent. “I never stopped caring for you. I thought, maybe you just needed some space, but I should’ve known better. You don’t know what you’re doing to me.” His eyes were intense, the usual playful glint replaced with something darker, more desperate. “You’re breaking my heart by doing this.”

His words were like a dagger wrapped in a blanket people would call love. You felt a wave of guilt wash over you, and despite every logical part of you screaming that this wasn’t right. He was the one who didn’t and couldn’t let go. He was the one who refused to respect your boundaries when you begged him for some privacy, explaining how couples don’t need them as much. But somehow, with each word, each subtle touch, you somehow felt like you were falling for his trap.

“Why won’t you come back to me? Just… let me take care of you again. You don’t need anyone else. No one understands you like I do.” His voice trembled slightly, and for a moment, you almost believed him.

You took a shaky breath, trying to regain your composure, but Gojo wasn’t making it easy. “Gojo, this… This isn’t love. You’re–”

“No.” He cut you off with a sharpness that made your stomach tighten. “This is love. The real kind. The kind that doesn’t let go, the kind that fights for you. You think you can just walk away? That’s not how this works. You think I didn’t notice how you looked at me that last time? How your hand lingered on mine before you left? You wanted me too. I know it. Stop fighting it.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You didn’t even remember that day, but Gojo had a completely different way of making you doubt your own memories, your own feelings. Maybe you had wanted him, at some point. Maybe you hadn’t been so sure about ending it.

Gojo’s smile softened, but it wasn’t the carefree smile he used to give you. It was possessive, like he was savoring a victory he had yet to claim. “You don’t need anyone else. No one can love you like I can.” He stepped back for a moment, giving you space, but the warmth of his presence was still suffocating. “You are mine, and I won’t let you forget it.”

The night air suddenly felt colder as you tried to steady your breath, but Gojo’s words continued to echo in your mind, slowly engraved in you. He was so close, and despite every ounce of your being telling you to run, your feet stayed rooted in place.

“You’re still mine, you know.” His voice, low and soothing, felt like a claim. It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t even a request. It was a declaration. His fingers lightly grazed your wrist, the warmth from his hand bleeding into your skin. A silent reminder of his power over you.

He stepped forward once more, his eyes never leaving yours as he tries to pry into your mind. “I’ll remind you of that every day if I have to.”

You felt sick. A swirl of anger and fear mixing together, but there was something else, too. There was something so twisted inside him that unsettled you even more. A part of you wanted to believe him.

“Stop,” you managed to whisper, but it barely made a dent in the tension between you two.

Gojo let out a soft, disbelieving laugh. “Stop? Stop what? You think you can just walk away like this? You’re mine. You always were. Don’t act like you didn’t feel something too. You can’t pretend it’s all just gone, that we were nothing.”

“You’re crazy.” Your voice was shaky now, your thoughts disoriented by the way he spoke, the way his presence loomed over you. But you couldn’t let him win. You couldn’t. Not like this.

“I’m not crazy.” His expression was calm, almost amused. “I’m in love. With you. And love doesn’t give up. We don’t give up. Not when it’s real.”

His hand slid to your waist again, pulling you just a fraction closer. His breath was warm against your neck, his lips almost brushing the skin beneath your ear. You wanted to pull away, to scream, to push him off, but your body betrayed you. Your heart beat loudly in your chest, the fight or flight instinct battling in your mind.

“Stop,” you said again, quieter this time.

Gojo didn’t react immediately. Instead, he tilted his head, considering you for a long moment. Then he smiled again… calm… dangerous.

“You don’t want me to stop. You want this, too. You’re just scared.”

He was right. You were scared. But that didn’t mean you wanted him back. You didn’t want any part of his obsession.

You tried to push him away, but he easily blocked your attempts, his hand on your arm firm enough to keep you in place.

“You don’t need to be scared,” Gojo whispered softly. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll make everything just like it was before… just the way you wanted it.”

“You’re insane,” you snapped, but the anger was only a thin layer over the fear. It didn’t feel like a fight you could win.

“No. No, I’m not.” He shook his head gently, his eyes softening just slightly. “I’ve waited for this. For you to realize how much I love you. I can wait a little longer. I always have, haven’t I?”

The fact that he’d been waiting for this moment, for you to ‘come back’ to him, made your stomach churn. His patience wasn’t love. It was control.

“You’ll never have me again.” The words felt like a declaration, but deep down, you were unsure if you could live up to it. The longer you stood here, trapped in his presence, the harder it became to believe.

Gojo’s smile widened, as if hearing the challenge in your voice only made him more determined. “We’ll see about that.”

With a fluid motion, he reached up, brushing his thumb over your lip, his touch featherlight but suffocating. “You can deny it all you want, but deep down, you know we’re meant to be together. This... all of this– i-it’s just a small obstacle. You’ll see that eventually. You’ll remember how it felt.”

You froze. The way he said that, it was like he already knew what you were thinking, what you were feeling which made everything inside of you twist uncomfortably. He was right. You hadn’t completely erased him from your life, even though you tried. There was still a part of you that remembered how it felt when your life revolved around him, when his touch was the one you craved, when his words felt like actual promises.

But those days were long gone. The once loving man you knew was replaced by a cold man. The same cold man before you.

Gojo’s gaze softened. “I’ll wait for you to come around. I know you will.”

He turned to walk away, and for a moment, you thought you’d been let go. But the feeling didn’t last long. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he was always going to be there, lurking in the shadows of your life, waiting. Waiting for the moment you’d crack.

And worse… you weren’t sure when that moment would come.

[kitchensinkchronicles]

nice!! okay mine were:

- graduating from college with a bachelor's degree in film and media studies (yay!!)

- shooting, directing, producing, and editing my first ever music video (for my brother's song)

- going on a cruise for the first time

- seeing twenty one pilots they were AMAZING!!

- going to see TIT both with a friend and later alone and ACTUALLY MEETING DNP!!!! (this one might be my favorite) (yes i was even more excited than finishing my degree lmao)

- and realizing that if i make youtube videos, people will actually watch them! i'm so excited to make more!!

anyway this year was actually really hard for me but goddamn did we have some high highs and low lows anyway happy new year everyone i actually really love the positive stuff that happened so i'm gonna focus on that :)

seeing so many people spreading positivity in the phandom and it is SO lovely to see! here’s my attempt to spread some as well— what are some of your happiest moments from 2024?

mine are getting into my grad school program, seeing TIT, and moving to a cool new city :)

[ravenwind-75]

If @heylorrain subjected me to pain and angst songs and said to go with the ideas I was given, I listened, hard. And so I have something for you. Sorry in advance.

Indigo:

~~~~~~

He was worried about her. She knew that. That she shouldn’t be here still. That she’d lose her way to the next place. Yet she lied to herself each day that she could find her way back to him. That this time her path would lead to life not death. She never should have left him, she never should have gone there when he asked her to leave his family to him.

Yet she did.

She wondered if her aura had changed. He used to say it was bright and brilliant. She used to feel it herself, the thrumming of life and power, of love. Now she felt colder, and lonely. It was so dark here in the in between. She didn’t know how the other ghosts did it. How they moved past it. The guilt.

Maybe it was time she finally went home, but she didn’t want to leave him here by himself. It wasn’t fair, why did they have to say goodbye? Why did she have to be dead and alone, leaving someone who needed her just as much and even more so?

…..

He gave her a piece of his heart and then tried to run from it. Run from her love. And when he finally accepted it he was so lost in the clouds of fear, he’d never seen that the sun would risk her light for him. Now he couldn’t feel her closeness, warmth at all.

When he heard the news his light had left him, his face paled. When her hand evaporated in his the clouds of his soul shed tears, bitter rain of sorrow.

Yet her death had given him some hope and faith that he could be free of them. That he’d be saved.

But at what cost? What kind of lesson was this?

Her death is my fault…

He’d lost his color. He lost his light. He lost his love.

….

She was the gold to his silver, the sun to his moon. He had never felt warmer than when he was in her presence. Soft curls wrapped around his fingers, her cradled against his chest, her lips pressed against his. She gave him the joy that he’d shared.

Now he was her warmth yet she couldn’t feel it. Just a wisp of frigid wind that made him shiver that he didn’t have the heart to tell to leave him alone. He wanted her warmth back, to feel her colorful aura.

Yet she begged him as he knelt on the cold stone floor, wand to his head, “Don’t take the life I fought to save. Live for me. You’ll come home to me someday. Patience remember? I can wait. Please!”

“I already feel dead so why can’t I join you?! I don’t want another sun to set without being by your side.”

But he’d stayed when she left. Many tears were shed when they said goodbye, one last brush of her hand on his cheek he felt her fade away, his wand pointed skyward doing nothing to sense her shape.

“Don’t say goodbye I’m right here. Please, I’m not leaving, not ever.” She’d said weeping softly.

He just smiled weakly, “Darling it’s better there. Go.”

It didn’t take long to convince her. Her spirit was tired. And they just kept painting each other darker.

He couldn’t move on with her here. And she got no rest. It was time to part ways with their ghosts.

“Goodbye Ominis.”

“Goodbye, my darling.”

…….

She’d loved the color indigo. She said it was what a twilight sky looked like. Where everything is half-lit and bathed in a hue between reality and a dream.

Maybe this is how indigo felt. Calm, sad and soft. An understanding, the deepest sense of peace yet a slow pain in the quiet isolation of her absence. On the edge of something unspeakable, untouchable.

A longing, a wish for connection out of reach, something impossible. Not a bright sadness but a certain kind of a melancholy that simply fades into the silence of darkness like the light of day.

Like she did.

His favorite color used to be gold, her brightness.

Now it was indigo.

Because In his dreams, when twilight came, she lived.