#no one here is smiling for the camera and brandon found a cool rock

[mustiels-art]

Greetings from the GRAND CANYON

[survivorwildwest]

Episode 1 - Still Hot, Still Sandy, Still a Buncha Liars

Jeff begins his narration as a train bends around the rocks of the Mojave Desert. He says, “Since humanities inception, societies rise and societies fall. Societies evolve. Societies change. And so, Survivor is once again changing things up!”

The camera pans to Jeff on horseback standing over the Grand Canyon, “Welcome to Survivor: Wild West! We’ve brought back some of your favorite Survivors from west of the Mississippi. They’ll be stranded outside an old ghost town in the Mojave Desert with only the supplies on their back and whatever they can scavenge in the remains of this town.”

“People forget, a lot of the first cowboys were black.” Carl says in a talking head before adjusting his hat.

Probst rides his clydesdale to the middle of an intersection. He looks around the skeletons of buildings and notices a saloon on the corner. He ties his horse to the hitching post outside and walks inside. The spurs on his boots spin as he steps in front of the cast. The 20 castaways sit around the saloon, at the bar stools and the poker tables, on the stairs and the piano bench. Jeff welcomes the cast of returnees to the new season. He first calls out Cao Boi, “Cao Boi, obviously, you’re the first person we call when we start to think about a Wild West theme.”

“It’s not the Wild West without a cow boy,” Cao Boi says.

“From one Cowboy to another, Colby, our first season in America, we need to get Colby Donaldson.”

“Yeah, I guess I was America’s Favorite Son for a while,” he answers.

“Still are,” Jerri interjects from the other side of the room.

“Jerri,” Jeff says turning his attention to her, “Why are you here on the Wild West season?”

“Well, I’ve already got the hat,” Jerri jokes as she tips her hat, “but, I’m just here to bother Colby. Same as always.”

Colby rolls his eyes and looks back to Jeff.

“Not excited to see Jerri, Colby?” Jeff asks.

“How could I not be excited to see Jerri Manthey? It’s been 20 years,” Colby says, presenting a purposeful smile.

Jeff then turns to Michaela, “Michaela, how old were you when Colby was first on Survivor?”

“I woulda been eleven, Jeff.”

Colby laughs at his own age.

“So, was Colby an idol of yours at that age,” Jeff asks.

“Honestly,” Michaela says, “not really. I mean, it was cool that he was from Texas and all cause I’m from Texas, but no I couldn’t relate to him. To hear you call him the proto-American, I just have to ask, ‘Who’s America?’ I just don’t see what makes Colby Donaldson any more American than Michaela Bradshaw.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Michaela,” Jeff says, “And with that, the season begins. Teal tribe, you are Suhtai,” he tosses the tribe to his left a satchel with their buffs and a map to their camp in some nearby hills. “Orange tribe, you are Tsitsistas.” He does the same for the tribe to his right.

“Your tribes are named after two Native American tribes who travelled together until the early 19th Century, the two tribes came together, or merged, and became known as the Cheyenne people,” Jeff explains, “Now, you have 30 minutes to scavenge this town. There are supplies hidden throughout these ruins. As of now, Survivor: Wild Wild West is on.”

Jeff leaves the saloon and the hunt for supplies begins. A few people dive over the bar for any bottles of alcohol they can find. Some whiskey, gin and red wine are found by Wendy Diaz.

“I don’t even really drink,” Wendy says in a talking head, “but I noticed the label on the wine bottle was a little... oh i don’t know... curled up in the corner, so I took it!”

Wendy runs off to a corner away from everyone else to unfurl the wine bottle. She crouches under a table to avoid any witnesses when she sees Russell and Brandon Hantz enter the room to chat.

“But then,” Wendy continues in her talking head, “Russell and Brandon showed up! And Russell is on my tribe!! And I hate Russell.”

Russell tells Brandon he’ll take care of him, he just needs to get to the merge. “Find an idol if you can,” Russell advises.

“But then,” Wendy’s narration continues.

Wendy removes the wine label when the Hantzs leave.

“There’s Gold in them thar hills!” She exclaims, reading the label in her talking head.

Wardog opens a crate of supplies behind the saloon where he finds rations, kerosene and a small tube he suspects is an advantage.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a coyote sits on the porch of a saloon.

After the scavenging of the town, each tribe hikes to their camp. At the Tsitsistas Camp, Colby builds a fire and Ben gathers everyone around, “Alright, so let’s all introduce ourselves. My name is Ben Driebergen. I’m 37 years old. I have a wife & kids. I fought in the marines and then I played in Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers and again last season in Winners at War. Who’s Next?”

“Yeah, hi, I’m Lauren, 23, I played in Edge of Extinction. No kids. No significant other. Just… little ol’ me,” Lauren says with a grimace.

“Uh, I’m Kass, Chaos Kass, you may have heard, I played in Cagayan and again in Cambodia… or Second Chances I guess”

“Hey, I’m Ken. I played Millennials vs Gen X. I was on the Gen X tribe. I am also single.”

“Hey everyone, yeah, I’m Brandon. I’m Russell’s nephew.“

Everyone stares at him and nods slightly.

“Hi, I’m Kim-”

“And, I just want you all to know,” Brandon continues, “I know last time I played, things didn’t look so great. I want you all to know, I’m good now. I’m not gonna throw any tantrums or any fits or anything. I’m gonna be good. I’m good now.”

Kimmi Kappenberg says, “Alright, I’m Kimmi, I played in Season TWO” she holds up two fingers, “And then again in Second Chances.” She mirrors the peace sign she made on the other hand for “Second Chances.”

“Hi, I’m Bi. I played in David vs Goliath but had to leave early because of an injury.“

“And I’m Lisa! I played in the Philippines like a hundred years ago.”

After a few minutes of small talk, people begin to go their separate ways. Ben, Brandon, Kass, Lauren, Ken and Kimmi use some wood they’d taken from town to build a shelter. Lisa pulls Bi aside to lend a shoulder if Bi wanted to talk about losing her opportunity. Colby continues to work on the fire as Michaela sits with him.

As the desert sun beats down on him, Colby rubs two sticks together. He sweats through his shirt. Michaela reaches in her pocket, “Colby,”

He looks up. Sweat drips from his eyelash into his eye.

“You think these might help,” and she pulls out a dry box of matches, “I found them next to a stove back in town. They’re old and they don’t look like they’ll work but it’s worth a try.”

“Sure. You know,” Colby says as he places the dusty match against its dustier box, “I don’t think of myself as more American than you.”

The match lights and he brings it to the kindling to ignite. He looks back to Michaela, “After everything going on, you know, the world’s fucked right now. Honestly, living in the desert for a month and a half sounds alright right about now,” Colby jokes.

“The world certainly is fucked right now,” Michaela laughs, “You’re not wrong, Colby.”

“It’s been fucked for you guys for a while though, right?”

“’You guys’ meaning black folks?”

“Well, yes and no. I just mean, people who don’t look exactly like me.”

“Ha,” she laughs, “sure, that’s true.”

“I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“It’s alright. You’re learning.”

“I know. I just feel bad.”

“I’m not asking for your pity, Colby. Just asking for your assistance.”

“You know,” he says, “I’ve been doing a lot of listening since everything started and what I keep hearing is ‘Listen to black women.’ So, that’s what I’m gonna do. I really do want to help, however I can.”

She looks at him, taking in his intention. She sticks out her hand for him to take and they shake hands.

“Colby’s a good dude,” Michaela explains in a talking head, “He means well. That’s good. ”

“Okay, so, with us working together now,” Michaela asks, “who would you recommend we go for first?”

Colby looks down toward Bi and Lisa, then at the group building the shelter, then back at Michaela, “How about Ben?”

“I don’t see why not. He’s already won. Have you won?”

“Not once. In 20 years, never once.”

“Me neither.”

The two of them stare down Ben from across the camp.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a desert collared lizard scurries from the shade of one rock to the shade of another.

At the Suhtai Camp, everyone drops their things. Jerri immediately turns to Russell, opens her arms and says “Russell, my old friend!”

“Jerri, hello again,” he says.

“I saw your nephew is here.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” he chuckles.

Carl calls everyone to the center of camp and introduces himself, “Hi everybody, I’m Carl, I played in David vs Goliath, along with Elizabeth.”

“Oh, hi, yeah, Carl’s right, we played David vs Goliath together. We were on the Davids tribe.”

“Oh! I played my season with Taylor!” Hannah Shapiro exclaims.

“Hey everybody… I’m Taylor, or Tails. We played uh…”

“Millennials vs Gen X!” Hannah finishes.

“Well, I think I’m the only person from my season, I’m Todd,” Todd says.

“What’s up, man,” Taylor says.

“I’m the only representative from my season too. I am Cao Boi, obviously. I was on Cook Islands.”

“I was on the same tribe as Wardog!” Wendy exclaims.

“Wendy!” Wardog shouts, as if no one would have figured it out.

“We were on the Edge!” Wendy explains, “of Extinction!”

“Wendy’s funny, man,” Taylor says in a talking head, “She’s kinda uhh cooky but she’s fun, man.”

“Do you want to go get water,” Jerri asks Russell.

“Yeah,” he mutters, “Grab one of them young kids.”

Jerri looks over the crowd of people getting to know one another, then looks back at Russell and grins, “Let’s go.”

As they make their way through camp, Jerri turns to Wendy, “Do you want to come get water?”

Wendy nods and follows Jerri and Russell.

“So,” Russell starts with his deceptively charming southern grin, “What do you think of everyone so far?” 

“Well, so far everyone seems cool! Although, maybe I’m not the best judge of character. I didn’t make it far my first time out.”

Russell and Jerri make pouty faces at each other outside of Wendy’s view. 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that this time, honey,” Jerri promises.

“Yeah, you’re with us now,” Russell assures her.

Wendy nods in agreement to Russell and Jerri, but in a talking head yells, “Who said I wanted to be in an alliance with you, RUSSELL?!”

The three of them find the camp’s well. It’s nestled amongst a rock formation. Overhead, there’s a sign deeming the well, “The Oasis." Wendy eyes a small hill on their way back, then explains in a talking head, “There was a little crease in the rocks where it looked like something could be hidden and the sand around it looked... weird... So, after we all got back to camp and sat around the campfire, I got up to use the bathroom aaaand…” she pulls out a two and half inch tall gold nugget, “There’s gold in them hills! It’s the idol!”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a coyote surveys the landscape.

When he has a moment alone, Wardog sneaks off to open the advantage he found in the scavenge. He reaches a finger inside and finds a note reading “Extra Vote” and one voting parchment.

“Holy shit. Alright. Alright. That’s good.”

The next morning at the Suhtai camp, each survivor wakes from their tent and makes their way to the fire. Kass is the first person awake and begins to tend to the fire. Lauren wakes shortly after her and yawns for what feels like eternity, then sits near the fire with Kass.

“How long you been up,” she asks through the remnants of her yawn.

“Oh, just a little bit.”

“You go looking for an idol?”

“Please, Lauren, it’s far too early to worry about that.”

Ken saunters his way around the campfire from the tent.

“Morning folks, What’s on the docket for today?”

“There’s a challenge,” Kass tells him.

“Oh, right on. I think we’re pretty strong, so we should be alright. Didn’t you play soccer, Lauren?”

“I-- yeah, I did.”

“So you’re probably pretty strong. Michaela’s strong, Brandon’s probably strong, Bi’s a boxer so she must be strong.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a lone desert cottontail rabbit hops over and under the rocks, looking for shelter.

At high noon, both tribes head to their first immunity challenge. Jeff explains, “Each tribe will have a conestoga wagon. You must move your cart through various obstacles, disassembling and reassembling pieces throughout. Along the way, you will collect puzzle pieces. Then, two people from each tribe will solve the puzzle. First tribe to complete the puzzle wins immunity.”

Kass and Michaela are chosen as the puzzle solvers for Tsitsistas. Todd and Cao Boi volunteer for the puzzle on Suhtai.

Both tribes fumble a bit as they figure out how to situate themselves around their large conestoga wagons. Once they finally do, Tsitsistas takes a slight lead. Lisa is slow getting back to her position after the reassembling portion of the challenge. Brandon starts yelling they’re “not going to win” until Michaela yells from the puzzle, “Bro, just shut up and get it done.” The disorder causes Suhtai to catch up and take the lead, inciting Brandon further.

“We got it on the puzzle,” Michaela promises, “Be cool, Brandon.” 

Suhtai makes it to their puzzle first and begins working on it, but Tsitsistas is only a few steps behind. As soon as Kass places a tile, Todd is right behind her, then Michaela is right behind him, then Cao Boi next. The four of them are finding pieces with no trouble. When Suhtai goes up by a piece, Tsitsistas is right behind and vice versa. Todd and Cao Boi slam their final piece in and call Jeff. He checks it as Kass and Michaela continue working. “Suhtai thinks they have it,” he places one hand on the puzzle as he looks it over, “That is not right!”

Kass and Michaela clamor for Jeff. He does the same to their puzzle and announces, “Tsitsistas wins immunity!”

In a talking head, Todd blames the loss on Cao Boi after he placed two pieces in their opposite places, “I just don’t understand why you would volunteer yourself and then miss something like that!”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a purple-throated hummingbird hovers over a nest.

Back at the Suhtai camp, the first vote scramble begins. Todd goes to Taylor first, “Look bro, we shoulda had that challenge.”

“Yeah, man.”

“Cao Boi fucked us,” Todd says, mimicking Taylor’s cadence, “He misplaced two of the pieces.”

“Why would he do that,” Taylor genuinely asks.

“I don’t know, man, but we gotta get him out.”

“You got it man. Let’s do it. I’ll talk to Hannah.”

Taylor wanders over to Hannah, who’s sitting with Wendy, “Han.”

“What’s up, Taylor?”

“So, I was just talking to Todd, he said it’s Cao Boi’s fault we lost. Yeah. So, we have to take him out.”

“Tonight?”

“I mean, yeah. Are you down?”

“Yeah, I mean, sure. That works for me.”

“Wendy, are you down to vote Cao Boi?”

“Sure!”

After Taylor leaves, Hannah asks Wendy if she’s got Wardog. 

“I think so. At least, I can get him to vote with us this time.”

“Okay, That’s good. Wardog’s good.”

“Wardog!” Wendy yells from across the camp.

“Wendy, hey, what’s up,” he asks as he walks over.

“What do you think of Cao Boi,” Hannah asks.

“I’ve got no allegiance to Cao Boi. You guys want to do Cao Boi tonight?”

“Yeah,” Hannah says. 

“Alright, let’s do it,” Wardog says.

Meanwhile, Cao Boi recognizes he’s being targeted. He goes first to Todd and explains, “Everyone here on our tribe has played with someone else on our tribe. Some people have played with people on the other side. You & me, though? We haven’t played with anyone else. Why don’t you and I start something?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Jerri and Russell, that’s a strong connection. They went far together in Heroes vs Villains. You know who else they went far with? Colby. Is there a better story in Survivor history than Jerri and Colby?”

“So, Jerri?”

“I’m just saying. With Jerri gone, Russell and Colby aren’t working together. With Jerri there, they might.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a bushel of daisies blow in the wind.

Wendy goes to Russell and Jerri to tell them the Cao Boi plan. They hear the plan, then Russell asks, “Who came up with this?”

“Todd,” she tells them, “Hannah and Taylor already agreed to it. And Wardog.”

“Thanks, Wendy,” Jerri says.

“This is very helpful information,” Russell says, sounding more condescending than he realizes.

In a talking head, Wendy is exasperated, “He talks to me like I’m a child. I can’t stand him. I wish we were taking him out tonight.”

After Wendy leaves, Jerri points out to Russell that Todd and Cao Boi are going to team up to take out the other couples. She believes she’s the target.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a mantis prays.

Cao Boi approaches Carl and Elizabeth and gives them his pitch for Jerri. They hear him out and agree to the plan. He then finds Wendy shortly before Tribal Council. “Wendy,” he says, “We’re voting Jerri tonight.”

“Okay,” she agrees without question.

As the sun sets over the horizon and the temperature drops, the Suhtai tribe join Jeff around a campfire outside a cave. Unlike previous tribal councils, this season’s has only one row of seating around the fire so everyone is in full view of one another the whole time. The voting booth is inside a small cave in the nearby hills. “So,” Jeff begins with his infectious grin, “Here we are. Survivor 41. Tribal Council. How does it feel, Wardog?”

“Honestly, Jeff, it sucks. No one ever wants to be here.”

“How about being in the desert, Russell? Any different?”

“It’s still hot, still sandy, still a buncha liars. Don’t matter if it’s Samoa, Nicaragua, Fiji or right here in the Wild West. It’s still Survivor and I’m still the best at it.”

“Haha yeah, alright, dude,” Taylor laughs.

Jeff and Russell turn to Taylor to finish.

“You’ve never even won, dude. How can you call yourself the best?”

“Gotten a lot further than you, bro.”

“Alright, bro. We’ll see.”

“Are you voting for me tonight?”

“No,” Taylor laughs.

“Who are you voting for?”

“Cao Boi! He fucked us in the challenge! Todd said!”

“Alright,” Russell says with a quiet grin before he turns back to Probst.

“Alright, with that, It is time to vote. Taylor, you’re up first.”

Taylor gets up and proudly votes. The other nine make their votes. Jeff tallies the votes and returns to read the votes. “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and you’d like to play it, now would be the time to do so.” No one stands up. Jeff reads the votes. “Cao Boi, Jerri, Cao Boi, Cao Boi, Cao Boi, First Person voted out of Survivor: Wild West: Cao Boi.”

Read Episode 2 Here