#no one else matters except my parents being proud

[3-curiosity]

i shld be only focused in cracking jee this is a blessing in disguise

[keepingitformyself]

older (and wiser): i

synopsis: in which time could have never undone what she left.

A/N: FIRST WANDA FIC!!! had this idea long ago when i was crushing hard on this girl from the theatre program at my uni; around that time i had also seen ‘past lives’ and i wanted to do something similar with that film. also at my core i know wanda maximoff would’ve totally been a theatre kid, this is me paying ode to that. while this specific part doesn’t go into that, i am gonna work on a sort of prequel to this Short Series…anyways enjoy!!!

pairings: wanda maximoff x reader

genre: angst?

warnings: it’s sad. but it gets hopeful…

MASTERLIST part ii

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

it had been years.

wanda had finally decided to take a breather. she’d been working non-stop ever since she left for work all those years ago after college.

she didn’t think she’d get so lucky off that one job, that it’d immediately get her into another, or another, and so on and so forth.

she loved her work, sure, but now it was catching up to her. everyone in her life, her manager, her agent, her family had all begged her to slow down.

“take some time off, wanda.” her agent, daniel had said to her during a meeting. wanda’s eyes traveled between daniel and her manager, samara.

the meeting had all been a set up. what wanda thought was supposed to be a discussion on a new project, was actually a ploy. she had no idea the meeting was meant to convince her to take a break.

“yeah right.” she scoffed. not believing in what they were saying.

“we’re serious, wanda.” samara stated, her eyes stern but with genuine care. “when was the last time you had time for yourself?”

wanda remained silent at the words. all of a sudden she felt like a kid being scolded by their parents. and she wished to be anywhere else but in the room with them.

“really.” daniel starts. “go be a real person. smell the flowers, meet people, fall in love, take in the view—”

“i meet people all the time, daniel.” wanda quickly cut in.

all daniel could do was shake his head, a sigh escaping his lips as he tried his hardest to make the woman in front of him understand.

“you know that’s not what i meant, wanda.” he gives her a pointed look.

with a jaw clenched, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side. the windows overlooking los angeles now seeming more interesting than this conversation.

“we know how much it means for you to work, we know how much you enjoy it, but you’ve been doing it for so long. we just want you at your best.” she hears samara say. and as much as she hated to admit it, daniel and samara were right.

wanda hadn’t stopped working since she started. in fact, it’s all she can think to do. she didn’t have anyone outside of work—no partner, no obligations except to her family. why stop when there was nothing waiting for her?

wanda knew the answer but wouldn’t admit it. she might as well never have fully faced it.

the truth was, she’d loved someone once. she’d loved you. and no matter how much time had passed, the thought of you still gnawed at her.

though everything was perfect for a while, her career was well off, she was successful, and her family was proud.

but wanda couldn’t help asking, is this really it?

of course, she tried meeting people. she really tried. she didn't like being miserable over someone she hadn't been in contact with for years. but even that wasn't enough. it was honestly a bit pathetic. it had happened years ago. four years, to be exact. wanda should’ve been well moved on by now, but she isn’t. at least not entirely.

so, she poured everything into her work to distract her from that gnawing feeling inside her. the one that had been lit up all those years ago. the one that was tamable with you around.

but you’re not around, and wanda couldn’t help but throw herself into more work hoping she could get rid of it, get rid of you. but she hasn’t.

“listen, wanda,” daniel cuts her train of thought. “your work is important and people need it, but to keep it up to that degree, you need to go out and just be a human.” he finishes.

wanda sighs. she leans forward on her knees and drops her head into her hands. daniel was right. they were both so right.

wanda never properly dealt with things. maybe it's time she finally did.

she looks up from her hands, a look of defeat yet understanding, with pursed lips she finally says,

"fine."

and now, two months later, wanda finds herself back in los angeles, in an empty home, eating expensive sushi.

she had gotten off the phone with her brother, pietro, who had just joined her on the recent trip she’d been on.

a trip that he insisted he’d join her on to make sure wanda would do all the resting and touristy things she should.

she had done all the traveling she could do in the last two months, jumping from plane to plane. talking to strangers, being a tourist in european cities, and befriending random people in planes.

now, wanda actually had time for herself, time with her brain. a thing she honestly didn't want to face. because even thinking about anything made it even more real.

but now wanda was bored, and the movie playing on her eighty-inch television wasn't doing much to entertain her. and it also didn't help that it was eleven pm on a thursday night and all wanda could do was feel bad for herself.

so she does the next thing she had been really trying to avoid,

stalking your social media.

wanda herself wasn’t much active online these days. she had much to do day-to-day and week-to-week, rarely would she ever have the patience to sit down and scroll through her phone much. that and she honestly tried to stay off of it.

but now she has the time. and the patience. and honestly, she’s a little scared at what she could find.

she tells herself it doesn't have to mean anything. just a little check-in to see how you were, after that she'd really work on trying to forget about you altogether.

and with the simple type in of your name, wanda finds your instagram. your profile picture, a professional headshot of you, and a bio that reads,

editor in chief.

New York Times contributor.

something that shouldn't have made wanda's chest burst with joy, but it does. and as she scrolls further and further, she finds that you now reside in new york city, that you've moved on well without her and that you have a cat and a boyfriend.

boyfriend.

she shouldn't care so much, but she does.

you were living your best life. the one you had always wanted.

just not with her. not with wanda.

but she doesn't stop there, and she ignores the lump in her throat as she exits your profile and searches for your mother's name.

and maybe she feels her heart break a little when it turns out the boyfriend you had is actually your fiancé. she finds out through a photo your mother posted.

the picture shows you, and a handsome man next to you. you’re both sat outside some restaurant in the city, his arm is thrown over your shoulder while your right hand clutches his left, and there it is. in all its glory—with the diamond on it catching the suns light perfectly. the ring on your finger.

it doesn’t help that he looks so in love with you.

out for lunch with y/n and paul again! i promised them an engagement lunch and we were NOT disappointed. make sure you try Jack’s Wife Freda if you are ever in SoHo!!#motherinlaw #NYC #loveinnewyork

is what the caption reads.

wanda freezes at the fact and immediately throws her phone on the empty seat beside her. she stares at it like it had just offended her.

many things go through her brain. how did you meet him? was it shortly after you broke up? was it really him you wanted to spend forever with? how long did it take for him to ask?

wanda had always loved your mother. a sweet woman who always had your best interests in mind. she had always pushed you to do what you loved. and wanda had always seen that some of her favorite traits of yours had come from her.

after the break up, your mom made sure to check in on wanda. without you ever knowing, wanda and your mom kept in touch, until eventually wanda had cut her line for the sake of fully moving on.

though, she never really fully did.

wanda evaluates what to do next. was this her sign? she doesn’t want it to be sign.

wanda doesn’t want to admit that it seems like you had moved on so completely.

on impulse she looks up your fiancé’s name. “paul” is all she had to type out in your mother’s following before she found his account.

she finds that paul is just as successful as you are. he’s an investigative journalist, born in ireland. he briefly worked at a publication in london but transferred to a firm in new york after a year.

he’s gorgeous, she thinks. he has blue eyes, a kind smile, and he has an accent. it would make perfectly good sense why you would choose him.

wanda’s stomach twists with a mix of happiness and regret.

“fuck!” She whispers to herself.

“of course, you’re happy. of course the man you’re engaged with is actually a decent man! fuck.” wanda says to no one in particular. in frustration, she burries her hands in her hair.

wanda is annoyed at herself.

“i need a drink,” in an instant she’s on her legs making her way to the kitchen. she finds a bottle of wine that has been kept cool in the fridge and she wastes no time in popping it open, she pauses briefly, debating on whether she’d need or glass or not.

to hell with a glass. she thinks, and makes her way back to the couch, she holds the bottle by its neck and takes a long swig from it.

it’s all so perfectly miserable. wanda maximoff stalking her ex-girlfriend on social media while she gets wasted. the self loathing has got the best of her. she finds it all ironic.

wanda maximoff could have anyone she wanted. she knew this. she has everything she could ever want or need. she has credibility, a nice home, the luxury of traveling at any moment she wants.

yet, her mind kept coming back to one thing. the one thing she’d decided she’d leave behind all those years ago. it isn’t fair, she thinks. wanda was young and stupid back then, but she was so so in love. she knew that for sure.

but sometimes…sometimes she really wishes she had fought harder.

briefly, wanda wonders if your number was still the same. if you had ever changed it or at least tried calling her. she wouldn’t know, she had changed it years ago once she started getting more attention for her work.

wanda was really drunk at this point. her better judgment had gone away as soon as she’d picked that bottle out the fridge. there was no better time than now.

she taps on her phone until she lands on the number keypad. her fingers hover over it, would she regret it if she didn’t? probably. would she regret it if she did? probably.

but if there was one thing wanda had, it’s that she’s got nerve and audacity.

so she types in the number that she doesn’t think she could ever forget, and lets it ring.

your fiancé answers the call.

“hello?” an irish accent sounds through the speaker. paul. wanda’s blood runs cold and she stays silent for a moment. all of sudden she feels incredibly sober and regretting making the call.

“hi.” she pauses. “uhm, i’m looking for y/n?” wanda manages to squeak out.

“right! who is this? your number isn’t saved.” paul says,

“an old friend. i changed my number a while back.” wanda replies smoothly.

“oh! let me pass her to you, she’s just in the kitchen.” the line goes quiet for a few moments, and she’s able to hear a few words exchanged between you and paul.

“hello?”

wanda freezes again, a hand covers her mouth as she tries not to shake at the sound of your voice. it’d been so long. she grips her phone tighter.

“hey…” her voice shaky and unmistakable. you know it’s wanda.

“wanda?” your voice betrayed the surprise you felt. from the couch paul caught your eye, a raised eyebrow on his face. everything okay? he mouthed.

you shook your head.

“i wondered if your number was still the same.” wanda says after a moment. her tone light, but with an undercurrent of something else.

your mind raced. why was she calling you? why now? your fiance was in the other room, you were getting married soon. you’d built a life perfectly fine without her in it. so why was she calling you now?

“how have you been?” her voice cuts through the line again. wanda holds the phone close to her ear, wanting to make sure she could hear every word you say.

and all you can think of is how confused you were.

“i- i’m fine. i’m good. yeah.”

“that’s good—”

“i’m sorry, uh…why are you calling?” you find yourself cutting her off. your fingers press against your forehead in act of trying to understand what was happening.

wanda pauses. she realizes just how impulsive this whole thing was. she’s on the phone with her ex of four years, while your fiancé was probably in the other room. she goes silent again. her words have to be carefully measured.

she gulps,

“uhm…i just—i just wanted to know how you were. heard you’re based in new york now...so…” wanda trails off. you don’t miss the tone in her voice as she says those words. the familiar rasp, the lowness of her voice, she’d used it many times on you when she wanted something.

you close your eyes with a sigh, “yeah. yeah, i live in new york now, engaged and everything.”

wanda smiles through the phone, her eyes almost prick with tears at the corners.

“i saw," she says just above a whisper. "congratulations, you…you’ve always wanted that.” and she means it. she knows better than anyone how much you’ve wanted this.

suddenly a wave of nostalgia hits you, and you’re brought back to when you were both in college. so young, so dumb, but god, it was one of the best times of your life. you try not to let it affect you, how much this call seems to be doing for you. you haven’t yet figured out if it’s a good or bad thing.

“thank you." your voice softens. "how have you been?” you find yourself asking her next.

wanda smiles at your question, “life has been…insane, you know?” she pauses on the line. “still missing some pieces, but overall i’m doing well,” you pretend not to hear the sudden shift in her voice when she said that.

you exhaled quietly, unsure of what to say. the air between you felt charged with unspoken words, old memories stirring to the surface.

“can i see you?” she asks, her tone hesitant. “catch up in person? i’d really like to see you.”

with your bottom lip between your teeth, you contemplate your next words. paul notices your tick from the other his seat on the couch, despite you telling him it was okay he couldn’t help but worry. he’d heard enough of the call to know something was wrong. still he knows you had it down, so he waits until you need him.

you struggle to find your words for a moment, the question being so…why?

“oh, wanda, i don’t know if—”

but wanda ever the stubborn woman she is, doesn’t relent.

“please. Just for some coffee and conversation.”

your mind is torn between keeping your peace or taking wanda up on her offer. but you were curious.

with a sigh you finally decide.

“where and when?”

you can hear wanda’s smile through the phone,

“i can fly to new york anytime you’re free. you can pick a spot and i’ll be there.”

you think for a few moments.

“okay, meet at caffe reggio in greenwich. i’ll be in touch with when.”

wanda’s heart stutters, something she hadn’t felt in a while. her eyes flutter closed, she breathes in— out. her eyes open again. and though you can’t see it, there’s a new look in her eyes.

“i’ll be there.”

[itsmarsss]

Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 3 - The Imp

How the mighty do fall. (Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)

He's not just a bitch! He's a bitch with a backstory.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8 | pt. 9 | 2nd bonus

Word Count: 3,140

Warnings: a lot of trauma related stuff, a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, some things are canon-compliant and some are my own, i think that's it, also hey look it's the reason blitzø wanted to sneak into ozzie's so bad!

dividers by @cafekitsune <3

Blitzø has been called many different things throughout his life. 

Most of those things have been insults but, hey, who’s keeping track? 

From an entitled prick to a selfish asshole to shit-for-brains to imp scum to… well, you get the gist of it. You name it, he’s been called it. And he was perfectly fine with being all of those things.

He’d decided very early on that he would own any titles he was given if it meant he had any sort of control over how they affected him. 

And it worked. If he was going to be called useless, or selfish, or a low-level regardless of what he did, he was just going to let himself become all of those things. If no one expects anything good to come from him anyway, why should he even care to try? This wouldn’t help stop them saying all those awful things he hated to hear about himself, but at the very least he’d be at peace knowing he wasn’t spending his entire life humiliating himself for the off-chance that someone would see him the way he wanted them to.

That way, he’d always have the upper hand.

Growing up in the circus, Blitzø learned at a very young age that he was no more than a collateral to his father. ‘Useless’ at being sufficiently entertaining, as he always heard he was, Blitzø understood entirely too well that he was only kept around for the simplest of all things he was: unpaid labor and an obligation.

At times, in his teenage years, he’d start to wonder if he would ever have been kept around at all if it weren’t for his mother.  

And sometimes, well into adulthood already, Blitzø would find himself hurting people. Really hurting people. Sometimes even on purpose, without ever fully understanding why he did what he did. Most of the time he would try and ignore it, or pretend not to care, try to convince himself it was for the best that he kept his distance from people. 

But, at certain times, thoughts of his mother would consume him. Would she be proud of who he had become? 

He hardly thought so. 

There were times when he would even find himself wondering who he could have grown up to be had she stayed around for longer. Would he be nice? Kind? Caring?

Would he be loved?

But she wasn’t around, and that was his fault, he kept reminding himself. And that wasn’t fucking fair. 

His mother was always kinder than his father ever was. She was sweet and caring and always made sure to check on him. The moments they spent together were always his favorite as a kid. 

When she was with him, it almost felt like nothing else mattered, as if her presence could shield him from anything- he always blindly believed her when she told him time and time again that everything would be okay. It was a nice feeling. 

She was always full of life, always the soul of every room she entered, always cheering Blitzø back up when he was down. She was always pure light.

Except when his father was around. 

Blitzø loathed the way her demeanor changed around him, how she minimized herself to be next to him. When he was young, he’d always toyed in his mind with the idea of her being two different people who shared the same body: there was his mother, and there was his father’s wife. 

His mother was kind, compassionate, caring, free. His father’s wife was cold, quiet, dull.  

Fizzarolli entered his life really early on. 

At merely seven years old, he was taken into the circus after losing his parents in a freak accident, and Blitzø remembers the day they met clear as day.

Fizz was small. At the young age of eight years old, Blitzø vividly remembers his mind conjuring the term ‘fragile’ to describe him. 

Scared and vulnerable, Fizzarolli was an emotional creature, only a kid, after all. And that demanded care. At first, Blitzø really didn’t enjoy having to share his mother as a caregiver in the slightest. He was also only a kid, after all.

As time passed, though, he grew to quite like Fizz’s presence. He’d never really been much too surrounded by other kids, as it’d always been only him and his parents, and now he had a best friend! Someone to talk to and play with all the time, and who was as eager for a friend as he was himself. 

A couple years later, at ten years old, Blitzø received news from his parents: he was going to be a big brother. His father didn’t seem to express too many feelings about that- he never really expressed much other than disdain when it came to him, for the matter, but his mom seemed excited. 

Blitzø wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about it. Sure, he got used to sharing his life with Fizz, but that was enough, wasn’t it? Things were good as they were, why mess it up with another kid?

When Barbie was born, Blitzø made it his personal goal to express just how much he disliked the idea of having a sibling- but that only lasted a few weeks. A few weeks of being rude and purposefully stubborn were enough for him to notice how hurt his mother was that he was acting that way, especially when she was already clearly overwhelmed with taking care of the baby along with himself and Fizzarolli. 

Being the reason for his mother’s tears was the thing he hated the most in the whole wide world.

And so he stopped. It took him many months for his feelings about his sister to really change, but he decided he wouldn’t be so mean about it anymore, for his mom’s sake. And, with time, he grew used to his sister too. Sure, she was annoying and extremely clingy, as all babies and younger siblings are, and yes, he’d still act annoyed at her, but he started to not mind it as much.

He started to care.

At ten years old, too, on a random day, something rather unusual happened: his father came looking for him after a show, prompting him to stand up from the floor where he’d been playing with Fizz and their balloon horses, because he’d been… sold?

Yeah, that’s right. His dad told him, normal as ever, that apparently one of the Goetia princes had seen their part of the show earlier, and his father wanted to, quite literally, purchase Blitzø for the rest of the day. 

“Ew. Why?”

“Because money!” That always seemed to answer plenty when it came to Good Old Cash.

He was dragged to the Goetia palace with a purpose: to steal everything he could. That didn’t feel right nor did it feel safe. After all, who knew what sort of bad things could happen to him if he got caught stealing from royalty? He was young, but he knew they weren’t demons you wanted to mess with. 

He was scared. 

But they needed the money, and his dad had pulled the card that could get him to do basically anything he was asked to: ‘don’t you want to help your mother?’

Of course he’d do anything to help mama. 

Getting back home, he felt bad. Because the prince had been kind to him the entire time. Because the prince was naive, clearly not even having considered the possibility of Blitzø having been there to do what he did. Because everything his dad had told him about the big bad royals seemed to fall flat with Stolas. 

Getting back home, he still struggled to understand why he had been the one chosen to go, and not Fizz, when Fizz was clearly a better… well, everything… than he was. 

It was all too confusing, growing up with Fizz. As much as he loved him, there would always be a part of him that felt jealous, insecure around him. Because, to him, it seemed his best friend was everything he wanted to be and everything he wanted to be seen as. A better entertainer, a better friend, a better kid to his parents. Everything Blitzø could never live up to.

But, as he grew older, he came more and more to the realization that it wasn’t Fizz’s fault. It was all his parents. Or, rather, it was mostly his father. He was the one who put the two against each other, when, time and time again, they showed they only wished to work together, to be kids, to be friends… or more, maybe?

On the day of Fizarolli’s 17th birthday, Blitzø had been set on confessing the feelings he’d come to nurture towards the boy. Never used to this sort of thing, the only person he’d told about it was his mom, who had smiled oh-so-sweetly at him and hugged him as he let out tears, assuring him that it was okay for him to feel that way, even if it was scary. He’d prepared a badly rehearsed but well-meaning speech, written something for him in a birthday card, and even gone as far as stealing a rose from someone’s backyard to give him too.

Fizzarolli would have never even dreamed he’d have ever done all that for him, because he didn’t give him the card, and he didn’t give him the rose, and he didn’t tell him how he felt. Because there Fizz stood, laughing with his friends- friends! Friends who looked better and acted cooler and who were so, so much more interesting than Blitzø could ever be. He wasn’t a kid anymore, but he was still young. He still let his jealousy get the best of him, still let the frustration of feeling pathetic for even considering the chance that his best friend could feel the same way he did consume him.

But, as angry, as frustrated, as sad as he was, he never meant for it all to happen.

The fire changed everything.

His mother was gone because of him. His best friend almost died because of him. Barbie only went unharmed in sheer, dumb luck. Everyone’s lives were ruined, and it was all his fault. 

And so he decided he’d be better off far away. Not forever. Not for long. But, for now, everyone was sure to be better off without him near. He’d caused enough destruction already and he’d forever have the scars to remind him.

So he left. Simple as day, he told a crying, barely eight-year-old Barbie he’d be back soon and left a note for his father to find and give Fizz when he recovered. 

Not forever. Not for long. 

The next time he saw his sister again was nine years later. And he tried. He so desperately tried to be present again. But Barbie didn’t seem to think it was fair of him to go no-contact for so many years. Yes, their father sucked- but leaving meant he left her to grow up alone with him. She lost a mother too. He wished things were different, but couldn’t blame her.

Two years later, at nineteen years old, was the first time Barbie had to be checked into rehab. Blitzø went there to visit every week, of course, but she never let him in. 

Just like Fizz, no matter how many times he tried, she simply didn’t want to see him.

After the fire happened, Blitzø decided he wouldn’t work as a clown ever again, cutting short his own big, flashy dreams.

 But that was the only thing he ever learned to do, and that made things difficult. For years on end, he had to jump from one job to another, trying to find anything he could to make a living for himself. 

He was never all that eager to admit to this part of his past, but there were times during which he’d slept on the streets or forced himself onto one one-night stand after the other just to have a place to crash. At some point, he found himself gambling the little money he got from working here and there. 

That’s how he met Verosika Mayday, anyway. At a cheap, dark, dirty club in Lust, as he tried to drink his sorrows away and let his luck decide whether he’d be able to pay for his stay at some gross little inn room down in Greed for the night or not, and she reveled in the fact that the dirty fuckers in this poorly-lit dump didn’t care enough about who she was to keep her from making poor life choices that night.

A few years later came Loona. And Loona was love at first sight. At first, he wasn’t looking for a hellhound like her to adopt. He wanted a pet. 

But she looked so scared and angry, and so, so much like himself. She was about to be thrown out of the system into the streets to fend for herself at only eighteen. He knew what that was like entirely all too well, and he knew it wasn’t pretty. He wasn’t exactly the most sensitive person ever, but if only he could be something like a family to her, if only he could help her in any way so she didn't have to be all alone…

He adopted her immediately. 

It was a crazy idea, for many, very obvious reasons. First off, he’d just started making enough to make rent for a one-bedroom apartment in a shitty side of imp city. Second off, even though he was doing slightly better, he still barely made enough to feed himself alone. Third off, he had no fucking clue how to be a parent. Much less how to parent a teenager. 

But he made it work. He promised himself he’d make it work. He worked everywhere he could find, doing anything he possibly could (and, in hell, that meant anything), at any crazy hour, to make enough to support Loona. He bought books about parenting that he couldn't really read much of because most of them were targeted to soon-to-be parents of… well, babies, and included nonsense, fancy-pants words he didn’t have the patience to try and understand, but he tried his best to be a good parent to her. 

He never forced her to call him dad or anything of the sort, because he could understand how that was probably hard. He still couldn’t stop himself from shedding a few emotional tears when she did, even if most times were slip-ups. 

About a year or so later, he was set on a goal: he wanted to make a living for himself. Really make a living. Blitzø was tired of putting himself through every single job he could find just to barely make enough for him and Loona.

Well, it’s not exactly like he’d be the winner in a competition for the best morals in hell.

He started stealing. What? This was hell! 

The lifestyle went surprisingly well for him. He wasn’t making bank, but it beat working like 24 hours a day to barely survive. As time went on, though, he started getting more and more confident. Stealing more, from wealthier, more influential people, pushing himself to do better each time things went well for him, having fun with letting things get more violent and subsequently bringing attention to himself. 

He was bound to steal too close to the sun someday. After a particularly… well, greedy robbery down by the Greed ring, things went south quickly, resulting in his arrest. 

Jail sucked, but honestly, he’d had worse. And, hey, his cellmate was sufficiently cool. 

Moxxie wouldn’t tell him much about his past or how he ended up there, but that wasn’t to worry when he didn’t particularly want to do the same either. What mattered was he had a plan to escape and a plan for after that and Moxxie could be of assistance. 

Escaping wasn’t easy, and the two of them didn’t leave exactly unharmed, but it was successful. 

The grand plan for after that was to start a company that specified in hired assassinations. Moxxie wasn’t perfectly happy with the idea, but damn was he good with a gun. 

But two not-even-that-much-experienced assassins didn’t really make a company, did they?

After a lot of convincing, even though they didn’t even keep in contact quite as much as they used to anymore, he somehow got y/n, a succubus he’d become friends with about a year before, to agree to work with them. 

Okay, three’s a crowd. 

Millie joined in not long after. 

Four’s a party. Or, well, an assassination company.

They worked phenomenally well all together as a team- even Loona was brought into the business, though Blitzø never really let her participate in the killing. Business went okay… until it didn’t. Things didn’t work as well in reality as they did in their minds- not for very long, at least. 

And so Blitzø had to bring back into light the same dumb, far-fetched idea he’d had a year earlier.

“What if we could kill humans?” He blurted out during a meeting in which the point of discussion was how to increase business.

You made a face at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“I mean it. Like, imagine how many of these sinners are walking around here just double-dying to have someone that they hate up there dead too. We’d have clients like forever!”

“If that were possible, Blitzø.,” Millie chimed in.

“It is possible.”

“Boss, no offense, but did you hit your head again?” Moxxie questioned, understandably confused.

“Y/n knows what I'm talking about!”

“What? No I don't.”

“Yeah you do. Your best friend Ozzie-boy has something that could let us do that.”

“Are you- wait.” There’s no fucking way. “When we met- were you- were you trying to steal an asmodean crystal?”

“I was not not trying to steal an asmodean crystal.”

“Uh, what is an asmodean crystal?” Loona asked, and you were surprised she’d even been paying attention.

You sighed. “Asmodeus has these enchanted crystals that can be used to create portals to the living world. We- uh- we get to use them at times. When necessary.”

“See? It’s perfect! He’d totally give you one.”

“Not for this. I think you forgot Fizzarolli hates your guts. Ozzie’s not gonna give me a crystal so I can help you with something. Really what the fuck did you even do to this guy?”

Blitzø ignored your last question completely. “He let you work with me,” he commented, matter-of-factly.

“He’s not my owner, asshole. But no. It’s not happening.”

Well, he'd really hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, but… he did know someone else who had a little something that could grant access to the living world.

A/N: I bet with so much complaining yall werent expecting this to actually come out huh expect the unexpected

[lyraoftheevergreens]

The Realms Enchantress

Chapter 4

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader!Niece, Daemon Targaryen x Niece!Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen x Female!OC,

Summary: For years Daemon never had a care in the world just, sex, wine and a good battle. With the exception of his favorite niece. His little dragon he called her. He swore to be there for her and he got himself exiled when she needed him the most. Now, he returns from war at the step stones and is determined to get her back. No matter the cost.

Warnings: minor errors in spelling and grammar, Targaryen Inscest, mentions of sex, oral female and male receiving, talk of nudity, mentions of death and blood, mother murdered, dead babies, depression, periods, vulgar language. If your watching hotd than you should already know that stuff written about it will not be clean in the slightest.

Author Note: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, life happened and as we all know it tends to suck at times. This is somewhat edited but please be kind. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not very happy with this chapter but I hope you all enjoy it

Word count: 2.3k

Previous Chapter

You’re in your chambers sat on the settee looking out the window having a cup of tea when there is a knock, your sworn protector announces that the Queen wishes to speak with you. You stood and gave a curt nod and he stepped aside allowing her to enter.

“Your grace.” You curtsied to her.

“Will you be joining us for the hunt in honor of Aegon’s name day?”

“My apologies your grace. I hadn’t prepared to nor do I find hunting pleasant.”

“You could always join me with the other ladies in the tents. Your sister will be joining us.”

“You spoke with Rhaenyra?”

“I have. In truth, it needn’t be this way. Between all of us. None of it needs be.”

“Alicent, you were her closest friend and now you are married and with child from her father. What did you truly expect from her?”

“I tried explaining to her but she wouldn’t hear it.”

“So explain to me. How is it that after my mother dies only a year after my father has plans to wed you?”

“My father had me visit your father after your mother’s passing. To be a friend to him in his time of grief.”

“I should have known your father would play a part in this.”

“We quite enjoyed each other’s company.”

“Thank you, your grace. I believe I have some packing to do seeing the hunt typically last two nights.”

You continued to pack for the hunt seeing as there was no way to get out of it. Alicent had managed to convince Rhaenyra to join so it only seems right that you do as well. Truly you didn’t hate Alicent. You understood she merely just did as her father had asked of her. Just wanting to make him happy. You of all people understood the need to please a parent.

Once in the carriage and on the way to the woods your father attempted to make small talk to help with the uncomfortable silence.

“How lovely. My two daughters, my wife, and my son all together on this joyous occasion. How are you fairing y/n my dear?”

“I’m quite well. Thank you, father.”

“Alicent, should you be traveling in such condition?” Rhaenyra ask.

“The master said that being out in nature would do me well.” Alicent responded and your father added in, “Hopefully one of you will be with your own child, sooner rather than later. And make me a proud grandsire.”

“It’s all that bad. The days are long but Aegon came quickly without a fuss.” Alicent added in.

“The two of you should ride out with me. Join in on the chase.” Your father said and as usual, Rhaenyra was the first to retort.

“I’d rather not. The boars squeal like children when they’re being slaughtered. I find it discomforting.”

“Then how else will you participate? It’s a hunt Rhaenyra. How would you like to participate?”

“I’m not sure why I must.” Rhaenyra snapped back.

“Because you are my daughter. The princess. And you have duties.”

“As I am ceaselessly reminded.”

“I’m sorry?”

“As I am ceaselessly reminded.” Rhaenyra retorted louder

“You wouldn’t need to be reminded if you ever attended to them.”

“No ones here for me. Besides Y/n is your daughter as well. I don’t hear you incessantly reminding her of her duties.”

“Because you are my heir Rhaenyra. And your sister has never failed to perform her duties as princess of the realm. Y/n how do you plan on participating in the hunt?”

“I planned on remaining with the other ladies of the court. If you would like for me to ride out with you I shall, just do not ask of me to remain for any slaughtering.” You responded to your father.

“See, your sister has no problems communicating properly. Why must you be so difficult at times Rhaenyra?”

Rhaenyra just turned and glared at you. You all sat in an uncomfortable silence on the ride to the godswood forest.

It didn’t last long till Father and Rhaenyra got into an argument at the hunt. That you weren’t there for seeing as you were hiding away in your tent attempting to rest from the stressful carriage ride.

Rhaenyra took off on her horse and Sir Criston followed her. Eventually, you got on your horse in search of them. The sun had already set when you had found them. Sir Criston started a fire in which the three of you sat around it.

“Do you remember that one time? We both snuck off on Dirrax to Dragon Stone.” Rhaenyra started recounting the days of mischief the two of you shared.

“Yes. I wouldn’t exactly call it sneaking given the size of him but yes. Mother and father were furious. You were 10 and 1 years of age and I 10 and 5 years of age.”

“It was nice though. Away from court.”

“I agree. Perhaps we can return sometime. Just the two of us.” Ser Criston told stories of his childhood as both Rhaenyra and Y/n listened and told stories of there. Sneaking into the kitchens and stealing cakes. Taking sips of their uncle's wine when he wasn’t holding onto his cup.

“That was hard. Uncle Daemon not have his goblet in his hand. Is like a knight not having his sword on his side.” The girls laughed all night. “Princesses I must make a final plea that we return to camp.”

“I rather like it out here. What says you sister?” Ask Rhaenyra

“I quite like it as well.” You respond.

“Your grace is likely to be worried by your absences.” Ser Criston spoke up.

“His grace can worry himself to death if he so likes. Tell me Ser Criston, do you think the realm will ever accept me as their queen?”

“They have no choice but to, princess.” You three sat in silence as the horses began to fret. Ser Criston unsheathed his sword as twigs began to crack. He began to walk towards the noise when a wild bore came out of the bushes and knocked him to the ground. It turned and charged at Rhaenyra. It was then that y/n rose and stabbed it from behind while Rhaenyra held it back by its shoulders from biting her. The stabs did nothing to subdue the animal. It wasn’t till Ser Criston pierced its body with his sword that the beast fell. Both princesses lay catching their breath when the animal started to rise and growl, Rhaenyra stabbed the animal until it well passed unmoving, taking all her aggression out on it. Rhaenyras stabs got slower, as she began to cry. Y/n grabbed Rhaenyra and pulled her off the animal and into her. Rhaenyra dropped the dagger and began to cry to her sister. Y/n held her till her sobs stopped and they lay together till morning.

“Nyra. Is it just Jason Lannister you don’t wish to marry or is it something else?”

“While no I don’t wish to marry a Lannister. How will I ever know someone is marrying me for me and not my crown? For a chance to become king. My husband can kill me and become king. I can die on the birthing bed as our mother did. Y/n I am scared.”

“I understand Nyra. And I shall protect you. We will ride back to camp. And I will propose a tour. It will give us time to think of a plan that pleases Father. You understand?”

“Yes. I understand.”

The three of you began your journey back to camp and took a moment to view the horizon. When a white stag appeared. Ser Criston began to unsheathe his sword and Rhaenyra quickly told him no in a hushed tone to not startle the animal. The three of you stayed and gazed at its beauty before returning to camp. When returned to camp sir Criston took the boar to the cooks. While the rest of camp including your father and the Hightowers watched as you and Rhaenyra made your way to the tent covered in blood from the boar. Once returned to the castle you and Rhaenyra agree to speak to your father on the morrow.

Rhaenyra meets you at your chambers with the Kingsguard.

“Why do you bring fathers, men?”

“He has requested our presence.” She answers. The two of you make your way to your father escorted by his guards to the council meeting chambers where he is instructing Ser Addam to make haste with a message to Prince Daemon at Drawfstone.

“Drawfstone?” Questions Rhaenyra.

“I’m sending word to Daemon. Aid is sailing to the step stones.”

“Did he make a call for help?” You ask.

“He would sooner die. But his king does not mean to allow that.” Rhaenyra and you both sit. “Do you not think my decision correct?”

“It is no consequence to what I think as I am so often reminded.”

“Daemon is thorn enough in my flesh. Will you insist on taking after him? Must everything be a battle?”

“If you refer to your attempt to marry me off to Casterly Rock.”

“I am sorry, Rhaenyra. I was trying to help you. Will you not be helped? Why must every effort on your behalf be resisted as if to the death?”

“Because you mean to replace me with Alicent Hightower’s son, the boy you always wanted. You have him in your hands now. You have no further use for me. You might as well peddle me for what you can. Who’s to stop you from doing the same to y/n? A mount stronghold or a fleet of ships. Perhaps both, you have two daughters to peddle.”

“You have misjudged, girls.”

“All know it. Jason Lannister knows it. You said it yourself, the lords of the realm gather like vultures to a carcass hoping to feast on my bones.”

“It is true that as rulers we must marry for advantage, to forge alliances and bolster our strength. You have always understood this. I myself was promised to your mother when I was-“

“Ten and seven years of age. The Vale had an army to rival the North. I’ve heard that story since I’ve had ears too. As I’m sure y/n has too.”

“I loved her. She made a man of me. I do not seek to replace you, child. You’ve both been much alone these last few years. Alone and angry. I will not live forever. I wish to see you contented, happy even. Both my girls.”

“You think a man will do it?” Rhaenyra speaks.

“A family.”

“I had a family. We had a family!” Rhaenyra shouts. You take hold of her hand to remind her not to say something she shall regret.

“What would you have me do?”

“If it were for advantage, you would’ve wed Laena Velaryon!”

“That is true enough. You must marry, strengthen your own claim, shore up your succession, and multiply. As to your match, make it yourself. Search him out. Find one that pleases you, as I did.”

“I would like to propose an idea. We go on tour. Find a match.”

“That is a wonderful idea y/n. Girls.” A pause,” I did waver. At one time. But Rhaenyra I swear to you now, on your mother’s memory, you will not be supplanted.” With that, you both walked away. “Y/n. Stay behind dear.”

Once Rhaenyra was gone and the doors closed your father began to speak.

“As I said to your sister. You shall make your own match. But as my first born I ask, perhaps you can whisper in your sister’s ear about Laenor Velaryon. It could strengthen her claim to the throne. As for you. I would like you to think about Harrwin Strong. If you find love on the tour I will not stand in the way, if you do not. Please consider Ser Harwin.”

“You do not send aid for your brother. You send aid to ensure the safety of Laenor Velaryons’ life. You don’t care for Daemon's life. Lord Corlys will protect his son. Daemon is alone.”

“Daemon wishes to get himself killed he will do it on his own accord.”

“And you’ve just pushed him to it. He will never accept your aid! As you said he would sooner die before asking for help, by sending it you have pushed him to his death.”

“I will never understand your infatuation with him.”

“And you never shall. He will have one thing on his mind, defeating the triarchy before your ships arrive! All reason will be gone from his mind.”

“Then that shall be his own doing!”

“Then his blood will be on your hands just as Mothers is!” With that, you took your leave.

[youwouldneverbreakthechain]

I don't like the Found Family trope.

There, did I get your attention? It's true, but the question is, why is Guardians of the Galaxy still one of my favorite stories in any medium ever?

Something really clicked for me with the ending of Vol. 3 (spoilers ahead, natch). The team broke up and that kind of development is usually heartbreaking, because we love the team, they love each other, now that they've found each other why should they ever part ways?

The answer is that they're a family, and that's what families do. Growing up means leaving the parents who raised you and finding a path of your own, maybe to someday continue the cycle with kids of your own, but never losing what you got from your first family. Those people, who you can't choose, will always be a part of you.

Each of the Guardians, aside from Drax, had their childhoods interrupted by traumatic events. They didn't get to finish growing up naturally, and that loss hounded them all their lives. When they found each other they began to heal, but here's what I didn't realize until the end of the trilogy: the family that they found with each other wasn't the kind that you make when you grow up. It's the kind that you grow out of.

From the beginning, Peter has shown signs of "Peter Pan Syndrome," acting like a little boy even though he's highly skilled, courageous, and compassionate. His maturity gradually began to show through, but one quirk that kept coming up was his refusal to return to Earth. No good reason for it except that he couldn't bear the reminder of his mother and he was ashamed to face his grandfather. He can handle it now because his life with the Guardians gave him the stability he needed to become a true adult.

Gamora's new incarnation doesn't need the Guardians because she found the Ravagers instead. We don't know much about them but I expect that what they did for Yondu, they'll do for her too. In the meantime, Nebula's had a few good years of being loved and now she can follow the footsteps of the Gamora who was lost, aside from falling for Peter, because that's unlikely to ever work again.

Groot's been the most fortunate, not having his youth cut short or taking any serious trauma since he sprouted. Eventually he may want to strike out on his own, but until then it's good that he can stick with Rocket.

Mantis seemed more aware than anyone of their internal struggles, including her own. Which is appropriate, her being an empath and all. She really made the boldest possible move, going it alone, and I'm proud of her. Hoping she'll make an appearance in The Marvels or something else before reuniting with Peter and/or the Guardians.

Drax is a special case and the one who I thought was most likely to die, since it seemed like his arc was all wrapped up: he had his childhood before we met him and it was his adulthood that was ripped away from him. Revenge was his entire deal and Ronan and Thanos are dead now, so what's left for Drax? Well, it turns out revenge doesn't have to be his entire deal and now I'm embarrassed I ever thought otherwise.

Rocket...oh, Rocket. We always knew that he was something other than what nature had intended, and that was on top of the nonstop physical and emotional abuse, but now it turns out he already lost the only three people who put anything good into his sad little life. Since there was nothing to salvage from his upbringing, he was the one who needed the Guardians the most, so he's the only founding member to stay. But no mistake, it matters that he's staying as the leader. He's not alone, but he's not under anyone's control, either. He knows who is now and he knows his worth.

The "don't call me a raccoon" running joke always bothered me a little but I never dreamed it would have a payoff like it did in Vol. 3. Rocket claiming his full name is much more than a nod to his comic origins. It's his understanding of where he began and the injustice that was done to him, his acceptance that he wasn't at fault for the deaths of his first companions and that he does deserve to be loved by the Guardians.

That's the foundation that lets everyone part ways without having to ask each other if this means their relationships are over. As far as I've seen, no other found family in fiction has reached this point - the team is generally the endgame, and if someone leaves, things will never be the same again.

In a real family, a good one, when someone leaves we celebrate. Congratulations on your first apartment. Good luck at college. Blessings on your union. Just remember, you can always come home again. Our arms are open for you.

[runningpsychic]

Why Goodbye Volcano High resonates with me as...

...a musician

As a musician, it's hard not to immediately identify with Fang. What musician doesn't want their music to be heard, to play at music festivals, and have music as their career. I can wax poetic about how music is about self expression and it doesn't matter if I have an audience, but in the end, I still want my music to be heard, and enjoyed. And Fang is on track to making this their entire career.

Making music has been a minor hobby for me. Even as a kid, I knew there's almost no chance I can make it as a musician, so I went down the route of being a software engineer instead. It's such a minor part of my life that I don't even bother identifying as a musician, I just fool around with instruments. But something about GVH ignited that passion in me, and during my first playthrough, I wrote six songs inspired by themes in the game. Even if I'll stay an amateur, I want to make the most from life, and not let the fire die. (See last section)

All that said, I felt very bad for Fang throughout the game. I know how tough the life of a full time musician is. The industry is just completely screwed. And unlike me, Fang doesn't have another option other than music. The game also drives it in that Fang's friends all have viable career paths, while Fang doesn't. But then, the meteor throws an interesting wrench into this, as now Fang is the only one who achieved their dreams. I'm not sure what the point of this paragraph is besides fuck capitalism, give musicians a living wage.

...an enby

Fang really made me more comfortable about being non-binary. It's amazing seeing enby representation that doesn't feel shoehorned in, or merely an afterthought. It's actually integral to the story. Both Fang and Sage struggle having their parents take their identities seriously, and that mirrors my own fears of not being taken seriously as an enby myself, which leads me to only come out as non-binary to my closest friends, and just remain a binary trans woman to everyone else.

It's honestly amazing to see everyone in Caldera Bay being accepting of the queer cast, like being queer isn't a big deal at all. And that's how it should be. Everyone just calls Fang by their name and pronouns (except their parents of course), and no one seems to mind that Reed brought Alvin to prom. This really makes me feel more comfortable about my identity, and I feel proud to be queer. We don't owe them normal.

...an immigrant

It's so rare to see stories about the intersection of being trans and being an immigrant, so when I read Rosa's story, I felt it must've been written by someone who also has first hand experience. There's a distinct feel from my family that me being trans is a "western" thing, not something they could ever understand. Or worse, that I'm being corrupted by "the west" in some way by moving there. There's so much extended family I can never see again because I'm now an abomination of the family tree.

I find it really difficult to talk about this as I fear I'd be misread as being racist for suggesting that my home country is more queerphobic or something, but that isn't my point. I just want to tell my story, and my experience of being alienated for both culture and gender, in both my origin and destination countries, is one that most folks can't emphasize with. (Venba also does do a good job with the culture part, so you should check that out too)

There's a separate rant about how this brand of queerphobia was actually planted by Christian missionaries and not at all "traditional culture", but that's for another time.

...someone struggling with mental health

I've been obsessed with the game for months since I played it. I went through what everyone calls "Dino depression", but I think it really helped me, and it was the game I needed to play at this moment in my life. I struggle with depression and burnout. At times it can be hard to know what the point is, or feel that any of this is worth it. The first few weeks after the game, I actually felt more depressed, as I thought about what the point of life is if it all is temporary anyway, and what I would do if a meteor were to hit in 8 months. And I was scared, because I felt like my life wasn't under my control. Over time, I've learned to think about it more positively. If life is temporary, then it's up to me to make the most of it. If life has no meaning, it's up to me to make my own meaning. I have amazing friends around me, and I still have tons of music to make.

[pigfacedbitch]

You Like... Who?!

summary : you tell your sister that you're in love with Octavian.

word count : 1.02k

type : headcanons

pairing/s involved : Sibling! Annabeth Chase / Piper McLean / Hazel Levesque / Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano x Reader, Octavian x Reader

warning/s : is Octavian considered a warning?

here is my masterlist!

Note : I find him hot... sometimes. I know, I have a problem. Octavian likes you back, by the way. For those who have no idea what Amokinesis means, it's the ability to control emotions of love and desire.

Annabeth Chase

You are a child of Athena but she will look at you like you're the dumbest idiot she knows.

Just kidding, Annabeth is intelligent and will analyze this situation logically.

Best believe this Wise Girl will interview you. However, instead of an employer to an employee, it's more like a lawyer questioning a witness.

What qualities of Octavian do you like the most? When did you start liking him?...Do you love him? DO. YOU. LOVE. OCTAVIAN? Gods, answer (Y/N)!

After her interrogation, she will want to know what are you going to do about it.

Annabeth will give you the pros and cons of dating Octavian if you want to ask him out. She has long list of cons; he's arrogant, condescending, cruel— and many more.

"And the pros, Annabeth?"

Her face morphs into this 'zoned-out' look as she tries to think of any desirable qualities Octavian has, making you laugh.

"Wow, I can't think of anything."

Whether you like it or not, Annabeth will be there when you tell Octavian about your feelings. She'll be hiding (with the help of her invisibility cap), carefully watching his reaction.

She is flabbergasted when a sweet smile slowly forms on Octavian's lips before takes you in his arms, whispering into your ear promises of love.

She is happy for you but she will not hesitate to put Octavian in an onager catapult and throw him across Camp Jupiter if he screws this up.

Piper McLean

To be honest, Piper will genuinely think that Venus cursed you.

Her initial reaction is this; "What in Jupiter's name is mom planning now? Is she insane?"

Will she call out to your godly parent? Hell yes.

Venus appears right before the two of you with an intrigued look on her face. Being the goddess of love, of course she knows of your feelings towards Camp Jupiter's augur!

"Cure her of whatever curse this is."

"Our darling (Y/N) is not under any enchantment."

"It's Octavian, what is there to like?"

"Even the most dreadful of creatures deserve love, my dear. Besides, apart from me, no one else can control where love grows or where it falters."

This reminds her of Jason, silencing her.

Venus, realizing this, gingerly kisses Piper's forehead before placing a hand on your shoulder, telling you how Octavian feels the same.

"He does?"

"Of course, you're my child! Now, go and get him."

You look at Piper for support, you look unsure.

While she doesn't look as enthusiastic as your mother, she nods in encouragement.

You hug both of them before exiting the cabin. By the window, Piper and Venus sees you approach Octavian.

A few minutes later, you kiss him (something that still makes Piper want to barf) and he eagerly kisses you back.

"I will make his life a living hell if he hurts her." Piper whispers to Venus before your mother disappears into the thin air.

This made Venus proud. No matter how beautiful her children are, they are capable of terrifying things.

She just hopes that day will never come or else Octavian will surely meet his end.

Hazel Levesque

We all know Hazel is a very calm, sweet girl who will do no wrong unless she really has to.

But once you tell her about your feelings, she may act on impulse and confront Octavian immediately.

Why, you ask? Because like Piper, she'll think your under some spell. Except it's his doing.

Octavian has an evident malicious nature, a person who's willing to do catastrophic deeds to get what he wants.

So there's no way that someone like you could ever feel something for that oaf other than hatred and disgust...right?

You try to reason with her but she was determined.

She finds Octavian having a conversation with Reyna at the Garden of Bacchus.

Hazel promptly aims her spatha at his chest, demanding what he had done with you and how she will kill him if he doesn't solve it.

"What is going on?"

"(Y/N) likes him, it must be Amokinesis."

Both Reyna and Octavian's eyes widen as they look at you for further explanation.

Hazel didn't miss the blush on Octavian's cheeks and how the way the corners of his lips quirk into a small grin as he looks down, flustered.

"It's not Amokinesis, Hazel!"

"And I wouldn't do anything like that to (Y/N)."

Octavian replied, looking at you with such sincerity Hazel hasn't seen before.

Reyna looks back and forth between the three of you, delicately thinking of what to do. She settles the issue by getting you checked.

If there were no signs of Amokinesis then your feelings for Octavian are true.

After it was confirmed that it is, he didn't waste time and told you he shares your affections.

As much as Hazel loves you, she can never accept Octavian.

The two of them will remain in a bitter feud, only tolerating each other's presence for you.

And if Octavian hurts you? Let's just say Hazel (+ Nico) will make sure he spends eternity in Tartarus.

Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano

Reyna will say she's happy for you and urge you to speak more about your feelings.

As you ramble about; from when you realized you like Octavian to your daily interactions with him, Reyna will look for anything suspicious.

Octavian may be obnoxious, though no one can doubt he is a brilliant orator that can manipulate and charm people in his favor.

What if he used the same tactic on you?

Once your done, Reyna will just observe. She will take note anything; how Octavian acts, speaks, or talks about you.

After some time, she concludes that Octavian appears softer with you. Despite his reputation, you bring out another side of him; clement, calmer, more humane, and less evil.

I don't think any of them will particularly approve of him, especially Reyna.

Dating you will not completely change him. In fact, this makes her even more wary than ever.

What will she do if Octavian hurts you? Well, nothing really.

She would just smile, sit back, and enjoy the sight as you destroy him. You're a child of Bellona, after all.

[the-second-moon]

appreciation for dorian as a character with complicated feelings about his homeland

Obviously, Dorian's already well appreciated as a character for his wit and charm, alongside his many other fine qualities.

But I want to dig into something I don't see talked about as much: Dorian's representation of a person with complicated feelings about his homeland, who feels proud of its progress and potential, while simultaneously being frustrated by and ashamed of its many failures and cruelties.

This is one of the first things that leapt out to me about Dorian's story -- the feeling of bearing that complexity in your heart for the place you came from, and being hard-pressed to properly express any of it when you live among people who can only picture your countryfolk as villainous caricatures.

I was astounded to see that concept represented in my favourite game series, because that's my experience too.

Real quick backstory: My parents emigrated to the country I largely grew up in from a place across the ocean with a highly infamous history of horrific crimes against humanity under fascism.

This mainly meant two things for my childhood: (1) a very early start at learning and digesting humanity's capability for evil, not to mention the need to be vigilant against fascist bullshit; (2) ample teasing from my peers who, living far away from my home country and thus not taking the aforementioned horrors very personally, found it quite funny to make me the butt of fascist-from-my-home-country jokes.

(Something I quickly learned in that situation: getting angry at a joke is a pretty good way to make sure your fellow kids keep telling it. So the strategy of defensive humour, like sarcastically citing your stereotypes before others can throw them at you, is something Dorian and I very much share in common.)

At any rate, I found it super interesting to recognize all that in Dorian and his relationship to Tevinter. It's not a perfect parallel, obviously, but a similar position: there are elements to be proud of in your heritage, and a deep fondness for the good parts of your culture that have nurtured and raised you. But that's all tangled up with some horrific things. Worse still, you know that looking away from the horrors is a good way to risk it all happening again. So there's no way forward except to wade through it all -- and to stand against those horrors, as best you can.

On the topic of standing against the horrors, Dorian's obviously an inspiration. He commits to fighting his own country's corruption rather fearlessly. But alongside all that, what really makes me appreciate Dorian is the places where he's wrong.

Dorian's got a good heart and the best of intentions, but he's still limited in his worldview by the place that produced him. We don't meet him as a perfectly noble crusader for all that's good, but as a brave yet flawed person struggling through the accepted context of his existence, trying his hardest to find what's right on the other side of it all.

Sometimes he falls short, famously. (As must we all!) Which is very important to me. Because the capability to do wrong and be wrong isn't just a thing that villains have. It's in all of us, and it's our job to be vigilant against it as best we can. If there's one singular lesson my own grandfather would want me to carry forward from everything he saw, it's that one.

Dorian's stumbles and flaws are reminders of this too. Seeing past our society's structural evils, and standing against them, is difficult, clumsy work, and sometimes we will embarrass ourselves and expose our limitations and our ignorance, but that's fine. We can't fix what we don't expose. And we can't locate the real roots of evil unless we understand how we're capable of it too.

All of that to say this: What makes Dorian most inspiring to me is two truths that his character upholds no matter what else happens. One, that loving your country and cutting out the rot from its heart are one and the same thing. And two, that no matter the obstacles, what's right is always worth fighting for. We're all gonna do our best out here.

[pekkhum]

Are you trans yourself or is it just your daughter? :0

And in any case, how is her transition going so far?

Sending much love <3

I think this will be more fun to answer via story time and the long mode answer:

Around the time of my 37th birthday I started seeing a couple incredibly hilarious and relatable memes about being trans go by on my feed. They were just so great that I found myself seeking out more and learning to understand trans folk more and more. I kept wanting to comment and holding myself back, because, of course I'm not trans, I just feel all the things trans women feel all the time and have struggled with those feelings since I was very, very young. Still cis, though.

There was eventually a day when the dam broke and I admitted online that I am trans, but it was three days later, while reading about internalized transphobia, that it all hit home. I had myself a nice little fit about how I didn't want to be trans, not because it is bad, but because the world makes life suck for trans people. (Actually, 6 months before, in the most egg moment ever, I told a woman that I had been thinking about how hard life as a transgender lesbian would be and that it would be much easier to be a straight guy. I was wrong for reasons most trans folk can guess.)

That day, I sat my child down to explain that I've realized that I am very much trans, that I have resources she can read to understand what that all means, and that I would let her other parent know, so she had someone else to talk to if she wanted. (Thankfully, we are peacefully divorced, so that wasn't an issue.)

I later found out that my child had devoured those resources, stolen one of my skirts my work-mom gave me (she's so supportive) and tried on names, pronouns, and skirts. It was a month later that she greeted me in the morning in a skirt and informed me that she was certain her feelings weren't something else and I discovered that I have a daughter! 😊

I was in the process of trying to get HRT and my insurance changed, then my health network intentionally and willfully screwed me over and yanked my chain, because they didn't want to provide a referral (it turned out to be owned by the Catholic church, here in America), but didn't want to admit their bigotry. I was forced to change health networks and get a new primary and wait months for a new appointment for a referral and my daughter's needs were similarly delayed, but she was even further behind! I had just gotten HRT when I was laid off and left with no insurance. This means I'm on an incorrect dose and my daughter hasn't gotten hers.

To make matters worse, our ADHD has made sitting down for voice training or learning makeup (it is so overwhelming!) difficult for us and we've not found others willing and able to help with the latter. My daughter has gotten a lot of nice clothing from her mama (I'm mom, the ex is mama 🤷‍♀️), and she just looks so cute, but she hasn't felt brave enough to present at school or anything. I'm hoping a GSA in college will help, but I'm making sure not to push her. She's still figuring out her personal vibe, but it seems to lean toward her mama's style, instead of my tastes, with just a few exceptions. Whatever she goes with, I'm proud beyond belief!

I joined a writer's group and only ever introduced myself under my unmistakably femme chosen name and everyone was cool with my very unfemme appearing dysphoria hoodie wearing self. I am grateful beyond belief. The dose may be too low, but the HRT has been very much working. Unfortunately, even freshly shaved with a straight razor, my beard is forever visible (I'm told a little blush or color corrector can hide that, but keep looking horrible when I try), but thanks to HRT, I at least saw a woman with a beard shadow, when last I walked into the bathroom. (Also, I fill out my sundress more, now!)

With family and friends, we are fully socially transitioned, though, and I am grateful, every day, for those we've been able to keep. It wasn't all, but it seems I'd already cut the problems, in advance. Also, we can both wear whatever around the house, so we dress for ourselves, at least.

We dressed up extra for our first Pride parade, though! I won't have a ton of opportunities to wear that rainbow skirt, but I love it greatly!

We are early in transition, with lots of problems yet to solve, but we are so much happier, so far. I'm finally alive and she finally cares about who she will be! We're also so much closer now and have opened up a lot more to each other. I adore my daughter and I'm so glad to be her mom! 💖🥲

[siampie]

Get Off the Highway || Chapter 5

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1.6 k 

Warnings/tags: Enemies to lovers trope, angst, childhood trauma, eldest daughter syndrome

A/N: Let’s learn more about reader, shall we? No Winchesters in this chapter, sorry guys!

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@maackiimoo

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Life was running its course as usual. Well, as usual as it could when you were a hunter. Your family didn’t quite know about this new career of yours. Except for your brother. To the other members of your family, you were travelling the roads of the states, doing odd jobs. You never went into specifics; they didn’t need to know everything.

Your father thought you were wasting your time, seeing as you weren’t making a lot of money. And it was true, being a hunter wasn’t always rewarding—financially. But money didn’t really matter to you. Helping people was far more important than anything else in your eyes. Also, it was reward enough to finally do something you chose for yourself.

Graduating high school, going to college, had all been for your father. You were the eldest and the first one to go to college, your father was proud of that. He had told you that much. You were going to set an example for your younger siblings. A good example they were supposed to follow. But none of them had. And they were still successful, while you had been stuck doing something that had made you miserable.

You graduated, of course, you had put in the work. And you may have gone to a community college but your degree was worth the same as one you may have gained from Yale or Stanford. People tend to look down on people who went to community college. As though your education had less value because you didn’t pay 30k or more to get into college. Of course, Community college didn’t have the same facilities as a prestigious one but you were still getting a good education. One that had the same value that one could receive in those high paid colleges.

College had offered you some time away from the chaos that was your home life. But it had also further strained your relationship with your siblings. And from that point forward there were no going back to the way things were before that.

“Dad, I’m trying to help here.” You sighed, frustration slowly rising in your chest.

“Help? How am I supposed to pay for this?” Your father shot back. “I don’t have 300 bucks laying around.”

It was a lie. He had the money; he just didn’t want to use it. His door had broken due to poor maintenance on his part. It needed to be fixed. You had found the people to fix it. It was, in your opinion, for a good price. But for him it was too expensive. He wanted things done for him without having to pay for anything. He even looked at you, asking you if you had the money to pay for it.

“Then, leave it open.” You snapped.

“Mind your tone with me.” He said in a warning tone.

“Oh, I am, trust me.” You replied. “You don’t want to fix it, and you don’t want to leave it open. So, what do you want to do?”

“So, I should just pay the guy?”

“YES!” Your hand slammed on the counter in your outburst. You took a deep breath. You needed to get out of this house before it escalated into something far bigger. “It’s either you pay the guy and he fixes your door. Or you don’t and your door stays open for strangers to waltz in. Your choice.”

You left after that. You knew your father, he was going to fight you on this, grumbling for hours, fight some more and then simply agreed to it. Walking away was the best decision, it saved you from the unnecessary headaches.

Dealing with your parents was unpleasant to say the least. Your siblings had limited their contacts with them and you were the only one who still had a relationship with them. Although, at times like this, you still wondered why. One could say; “Well, it’s family.” However, family wasn’t everything. Family didn’t excuse everything. Not to you anyway. Not anymore

Thankfully, Garth needed your assistance on a hunt. You were more than happy to help him. Especially, if this hunt was taking you away from your infuriating ways. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be working with Garth on this one. It was a fellow hunter that required assistance. A fellow hunter, you’d rather avoided. For as long as you could.

His name was Andy. Tall, freckled face, blonde hair, a really handsome fella. You two had met on a hunt and hit it off pretty quickly. It was nothing more than a fling. Or so, you thought. You weren’t looking for anything serious. But it had become so. He was a good guy and had treated you well. And yet, things between had ended in a somewhat sour note.  

“Hey, pretty girl.” He greeted you as you sat across the booth from him.

“Hey, Andy.” You greeted him back.

“You’re looking real good.” He smirked leaning across the table. “Are those new jeans?”

“Andy—” You sighed tiredly. “I’m not here for that. You said you needed help.”

He put his hands up, and he leaned back. “Business as usual.”

You scoffed. “So, what is this about?”

There was nothing the two of you couldn’t do together, Andy had told you, once upon a time. When the two of you were hunting together. Before there were feelings involved. Before it had gotten messy. You worked well together, you always had. But things between you had gotten complicated. And you decided to just walk away. It was easier this way.

The hunt had gone fairly quickly. Nothing any of you had not faced before. He was sitting in your motel room, shirtless while you patched him up. He let out a hiss as you pierced his skin with the needle.

“Sorry,” you quietly said. You worked in silence, piercing his skin with the needle and thread, sewing his skin back together. You were focused on making sure the stitches weren’t too tight.

“Where did you go?” Andy asked you suddenly.

You paused, glancing up at him. “What?”

“When you left, where did you go?”

You let out a deep breath, “as far away as I could.”

“Was I so bad you had to run away?” He scoffed.

“No. If anything you were—you are one of the good ones.” You reassured him. “I’m not.” You paused, resuming the stitching. “I thought it better to run away to save you from me. I would have hurt you.”

“Bullshit.” He snorted, you frowned.

“So, you know better than I do?”

“In fact, I do.” Andy reached for your hands, stopping their movements. “You got scared because of what you were feeling. And instead of trying to find out if I was feeling the same, you ran away. It was easier than rejection.”

Way to call you the fuck out? You remained quiet and pulled your hands away and finished stitching him up. Could he really blame you for this? He knew the kind of home you grew up in. He knew what sort of childhood you had. You told yourself you wouldn’t walk away from him. You liked him a lot, he made you feel good, put a smile on your face. He made you happy and that terrified you. So much so, you simply walked away from him.

“I’m sorry for hurting you by leaving.” You apologized softly, without looking at him. “You deserved better.”

“So did you.” He got up from his seat, he put his shirt back on and you turned to him. He had a soft and sad look on his face.

“I left you.” You reminded him.

“I know.” He stepped closer to you; his hand came to rest on your shoulder. He leaned in, his lips brushed against your temple. “Still, you deserved better too.” Andy grabbed his coat before going for the door. He turned to you, “see you around beautiful.”

“See you around handsome.” You smiled back and watched him leave.

Your throat clogged up; your eyes welled up with tears. Regrets clawing at your chest. Every single time, you let yourself have feelings for someone, you enjoyed the relationship and then—you get cold feet, you get scared and you ran away from them. Why couldn’t you just let yourself be happy? Why did you have to go and ruin everything?

And what you hated the most was the fact that he didn’t hate you. It would have been easier if he had been mad. If he had told you how horrible you made him feel. It would have felt better if he had told you he would never forgive you for hurting him the way you did. If he simply hated you as he should have. But none of that happened and it made you feel utterly horrible for the way you ended things.

Andy deserved better from you. Much better.

Your siblings were raised the same way you were and yet, they were happily married with kids. And you just couldn’t understand why it was not happening for you. Why were you so afraid and why were they not? Maybe there was something wrong with you. Maybe you were more broken than the rest of them. Maybe, you were broken in ways they were not.

Or maybe— maybe, you weren’t simply made for love. Or at least, there was no one in this world that you could love, or that could love you. In some toxic and twisted part of your brain, you had wanted for Andy to come after you, to fight you on this. You had expected a text or a call, for him to ask you what was going on. But none came, you left and he had accepted it. Even now, he did not fight you back on this. But he did not.

You weren’t good enough for your parents and you weren’t good enough for your siblings. Why would you be good enough for Andy? Why would he want to fight for someone like you? When even your parents did not care to do so.

You weren’t good enough.

You never had been.

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[milkhwi]

Casino Nights - Gambler! Chenle

Summary: Gambling and more gambling, that’s all that mattered to Chenle. The probability of him winning was always high until one day you showed up and decided to change that and his life, too.

genre: gambler! chenle x  gambler! reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: illegal gambling & swearing probably not proof read enough

a/n: originally was supposed to be a bulleted scenario but honestly,, think this came out better idk anything about gambling dont do it kids- also it’s been in my draft since 2020 omg..4 years yeah last fic ever probably i’ve retired from my good old days. idk if anyone will read this but i’m proud :3 also my longest fic of my entire career who else cheered!

masterlist。

—

Dies being rolled, cards being shuffled, chips being placed, and bets being made. The casino was always full of gamblers- especially on a Saturday night. The casino was like a second home for Chenle. Every Saturday he would be there- gambling. Chenle, only being an eighteen year old, wasn’t allowed to enter a casino. Reason: age. Of course, it was no secret that gambling at that age was illegal. But Chenle was an exception. He knows how to gamble. In fact, he’s very good at it. The only reason he was allowed in the first place was because he’s rich. Being rich was an advantage to him. He put down exactly $10 million on the line- to which of course, anyone would accept if it was that amount of money. To make things worse, he was going to gamble against one of the best known gamblers. “If I win, I’ll be allowed to gamble and get twice the amount I’m betting. Alright?” Chenle said, with no tone in his voice.

Chenle’s opponent chuckled and smirked at him, “Alright kid, it’s a bet.”

Not long after, the best gambler out there was not only dethroned by an eighteen year old, but exactly 20 million in debt. Chenle chuckled slightly, “You were really that confident, huh?” His opponent gulped, he knew this was something so embarrassing that it would even haunt him in his dreams, “You cheated, didn’t you? Let’s go again, I’ll prove you wrong.” Chenle pretended to think about it, then nodded, betting down $30 million this time.

“Watch me close if you really think I’m cheating.” Everyone watching the game taking place was already sweating. Not long after, they were neck to neck- this made Chenle’s opponent laugh, relieved about the fact that he had a higher chance of winning, but since misfortune was on his side, Chenle won.

50 million in debt.

Suddenly his opponent stood up to say something, but immediately fell to his feet. Shaking at the realization. Chenle leaned towards him- towering him, “Wanna go again? Want to try proving me wrong again?” He said as his eyes darkened.

Everyone was shocked. How could someone so young be so deadly?

From that day on, Chenle became the youngest gambler. No one really opposed the idea of him becoming a gambler- especially at the gambling den and if they did, Chenle would ask them to play a few games.

Chenle did gambling as a hobby. For fun. No one really knew how he was so good at gambling. “He’s rich so he was probably taught in order to bring money to the house” or “What do you expect? It probably runs in the fucking family.”

The truth is, the first time Chenle gambled, he was at stake of losing everything. He wasn’t driven by money. He only gambled because he wanted to see how easy it was to see someone else defeated. He didn’t use his emotions- he used logic. After that, surprisingly- he didn’t get addicted to gambling like many do. Luckily, his parents weren’t aware of what he did in his spare time and they didn’t really care, either. 

His parents only cared that when he finally turned 21, he would take over the company- or when his dad retired and handed him the company. Chenle was completely fine with that but wanted to have a hobby that was amusing to the eye.

Once he got home back from gambling at an ungodly hour, he headed to his room. There was a golden envelope with his name written in calligraphy. He turned his head slightly, murmuring a slight “huh?” and opened the envelope. His eyes turned wide at the contents of the letter. He was invited to go to the most important event of the year, held once a year, the talk of the year- NCT, something anyone would die to attend. The only thing that went through his head was how much money he would make if he would gamble with the rich people attending the event.

-

“You’re gonna have to attend, alright?” His mother said, taking another sip from her coffee.

“I know. It’s next week, right?”

“Yes, so after your meetings and lunch go and get your suit tailored.” She smiled, and grabbed her bag heading out the door.

Chenle sighed, at the sight of the empty house and how alone he was in the morning. Once he finished his breakfast he headed out to his meetings.

-

The day finally arrived and his mood was going downhill. ‘It had to be on a saturday, didn’t it?’ Chenle rolled his eyes, knowing he won’t be able to go to the casino. He silently sat in the dining room waiting for his father to finish going through documents inside his office. “Your father is ready to see you.” His mother said, opening the door to the office, making Chenle stand up and head inside.

His father glanced at him and then back at his computer and continued typing. Chenle walked over to his father’s desk, causing him to stop typing and clasped his hands, “I heard your friends are also going to the event.” Chenle noded, a barely audible ‘yes’ coming out of his mouth.

“Well, besides that, put out some good words for the company and try to get us as many new customers you can.”

“Yes, father.”

Chenle’s head swayed back and forth, making his eyes flutter shut at the soft jazz music playing in the background while people talked amongst themselves. As his head was about to fall to the table, Jisung smacks the back of his head, causing him to jolt awake. Jisung laughs and says, “At this rate, you might as well go home.” 

Chenle looks at his watch and sighs, “It hasn’t even been an hour.” 

Jeno sits next to him and says, “Did your father tell you to promote his company?” 

“Yeah- like always.” 

Suddenly, two plates of food were placed in front of him, “While you’re at it, you should eat lots of food!” Jaemin grabbed one plate and started digging in. 

“He’s not wrong. We’re all probably gonna be stuck here for the rest of the night.” Renjun said, trying to grab food out of Jaemin’s plate. 

Chenle checks his watch again, realizing only two minutes have passed, sighing. He looked around trying to come up with a plan on how to leave without anyone noticing in order to go to the casino. He stands up waving slightly, “Anyways, I’ll catch you guys later.” 

“Where are you going?” Donghyuck says, his mouth stuffed with food.

“It’s a saturday.” 

All of them collectively sigh at Chenle- knowing he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, but allowed him to do it anyways since they were all friends.

Chenle wandered around aimlessly around the building. Trying to find an exit that was not the front door seemed harder than he thought. At times he got distracted at how many people he had to greet or how the lights oozed an unexplainable aura. He goes up the flight of stairs trying to see if there was a way out. As he looks around, he stops and gazes at you- because of how dark it is, he doesn’t recognize who you are.  But all he knows is, he has never seen you before at these past parties. Even though a lot of people attend, he knows everyone by memory. He continues going up the stairs trying to get a closer look at you, trying not to lose sight of you either. He shakes his head, thinking about how he should find an exit instead. 

About two hours later, he enters the gambling den and a familiar smell lingers around causing him to smile. It has only been a week but he already missed the sounds of the slots and the ambient music playing in the background. As he was walking to the furthest part of the den, he noticed how many people were causing a commotion around a table of blackjack. There you were. Betting with some random old rich man. Chenle shook his head lightly, sighing at the fact that you most likely have lost- if not thousands by now. He signals towards a dealer near your table and shifts his eyes towards you, asking what you were doing here. 

“They’ve been here for an hour. And they’ve won all their games already.”

His ears perked up to that new piece of information. All games won? Chenle loves a challenge. As he walks towards your table, watching you win. He reaches his hand out, “Let’s play a simple game of poker, shall we? I heard you’re pretty good for the hour you’ve already been here.”

“You’re not afraid to lose?” You say scanning Chenle’s face.

“Absolutely not, I have faith in myself.” 

You were in his territory after all, why would he be afraid? Especially if he’s never seen you around. So he put all his chips to bet. 

“Already? But it’s just the first game” You furrowed your eyebrows debating whether to believe if he was really good at this game. 

“One game is all I need.” Chenle said, as he sat down. 

You smirked, realizing how confident he sounded, you placed all your chips down, too. 

And so, the game began with the dealer handing both of you 7 cards. People were already gathering around the both of you. Watching and waiting for this weird tension to be cut. With your poker faces on, the game began, rotating from one another. 

“Raise” You said, causing Chenle to look up from his cards again. Although Chenle looked unaffected from the outside, he was confused, why would you raise again? Was your hand actually that much better than his? Or were you just bluffing? His hand wasn’t all that good, but he needed to win. He always wins. But this game seemed to feel like it was taking too long. 

“Raise, too” Not wanting to back down, Chenle was determined to win. He never felt like he was going to lose against you. Maybe you had a one hour win streak, but he was about to break it. 

Full house. A tie. Everyone started murmuring around the table. A tie? Against the infamous Chenle? Even Chenle looked slightly upset at this. But even this had a solution, he had the highest kind of a full house, automatically winning. 

“Congrats, I’m Y/n by the way. New to the area, heard the rumors, and I guess they were true! Let’s do this again next time, shall we?” Before Chenle could speak, you were heading out, and he was too stunned at the fact that he almost lost a game to some newbie.

“The Zhong Chenle.. almost lost?” Haechan said, bursting out in laughter. Jisung and Jaemin seemed to hold in their laughter in order to not hurt his ego, but hearing Heachans contagious laugh, they couldn’t hold it in.

“Guys stop laughing, this should come off as surprising instead. I mean, a newbie? And a tie at that?” Mark said, while also trying not to laugh. Jeno shook his head, looking at the ground, not wanting to add fuel to the fire.

“I lost my mind that night. I don’t know what to feel.” Chenle sighed, still astonished by what happened almost a week ago.

“Are you gonna go tonight?” Jeno asked, out of curiosity.

“Take us with you this time! I wanna see you get your ass kicked!” Renjun hit Chenle’s shoulder playfully.

He sighed and nodded, “Fine, just don’t say anything stupid.”

Night fall came, which meant gambling night! Chenle brought the boys and was looking around to see if you would show up again. And so, you did.

You walked up to Chenle, tapping him on his soldier, innocently smiling, “Hi! I sure hope you weren’t too hung up on last week’s match” To that remark, Chenle felt his neck burn up, out of embarrassment. The boys looked at him, their jaws almost dropping. They didn’t expect that to be the way the night was starting, but it was probably going to go downhill from that. 

-

After a few games, that Chenle obviously won. Your interest in him peaked, you were the same age as him after all, and wanted to know what made him more special than the rest. But your ultimate goal was to win a game against him in less than 5 months. This caused you to show up to the den even on the days Chenle never showed up for. But of course, he found out a week after, so he started showing up more, just to see what you were up to. It was strange, really. Both of you were gamblers, but the fact that he felt a connection with you since he tied a game with you was what kept him wondering. The fact that you kept coming and blowing up thousands of dollars just to play with him was also strange. You were a good gambler, keeping Chenle invested in your games. And so, you would meet outside of the gambling den, during the daytime to eat lunch or even dinner. He learned your hobbies, besides gambling all your money away and learned you were an exchange student with rich parents in the other side of the earth that would send you pocket money every weekend to treat yourself. Of course, they didn’t know you were blowing it off to some games every weekend, as long as you kept it hidden and kept a low profile, everything would be fine. 

Chenle felt like the closest person you’ve met in your life. You cherished your friendship with him, but after realizing it’s been 4 months since you’ve known him, you felt a strange sensation of wanting to be even closer to him. And you didn’t know if he felt the same. You didn’t want to risk it anyways. The fact that you managed to figure out how to beat him after 8 weeks of gambling with him and keeping up an act to let him win was something you didn’t wanna tell him. But you were going home for the summer soon and wanted to know if you were even coming back. So you decided to wait 2 more weeks and win against him officially. 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving soon.” Chenle said, sitting down at your usual table. 

“And I’m spending my last days at the casino, how funny is it?” You smiled feeling a sense of competitiveness rush up. “By the way, can I pick the game?”

Chenle nodded realizing they haven’t played a few certain games in a while. And one of them was poker.  “Poker it is.” 

As always, people were dying to see Chenle play against anyone, knowing he would win. But this time you weren’t gonna hesitate. As the dealer handed you  cards, you realized you had to win no matter what.

A straight flush. Everyone cheered around you. Chenle seemed to have gotten the second highest hand out of the deck, and there was no way your bluff was going to work against him. So, you showed your cards. A royal flush. The highest hand. Everyone stood quiet. Even Chenle couldn’t believe his eyes. He clapped, slowly causing everyone around you to cheer, “I knew you could do it, I always believed you.” 

As if it was the adrenaline or the amount of people around you, you suddenly spoke and said “Chenle, I like you”

People took this as a cue and fled to different directions, not wanting to know what was going to happen next. Chenle’s eyes widened slightly and chuckled lightly, “I like you too, so come back as soon as you can”

- 

That summer, Chenle would finally take over the company, which meant he would stop gambling if he didn’t wanna risk the future of the company. And you were working under your parent’s company but managed to land a sweet deal with Chenle’s company while his father still ran it and was allowed to work back with Chenle. 

Taking trips to Sin City was something you adored with Chenle. The faces of other gamblers were priceless when you or him managed to win flawlessly, and with no “record” of ever gambling before. You hardly ever lost any money, so it was only ever done for fun. 

“Chenle, I want to tell you something..” 

“Go on”

“I figured out how to beat you and let you win multiple times afterwards.”

“Oh, it clicked to me the first time we met, I think I got lucky the first time we met.” 

“Wait- really?”

“Yeah, but I was also really lucky that we met that night, I mean what were the odds?” Chenle says, planting a kiss on your lips gently, causing both of you to reminisce about the first time you met.  

[thegamingcatmom]

In the middle of watching Maleficent 2 after not seeing it for years and I'm already back to being obsessed.

Seeing her so (painfully) awkward around humans has me melting every time. Like-

When King John asks her whether she had any trouble finding the castle? And her answer is a very annoyed, very hissy-

"Are u stupid or smt?"

???

...That's what she meant, at least.

C'mon.

I MEAN-

Her not knowing what small talk is and, as a result because baby doesn't deal well with being confusion, immediately resorting to thinly veiled death threats and almost violence so Diaval has to step in to prevent disaster from striking like-

BABY IS CONFUSION DON'T JUDGE HER. 😭

ALSO-

Y'all know how Maleficent is the last of the fey with the blood of The Phoenix running through her veins? So that means her offspring will continue that bloodline? So that means offspring? So that means- 🫠

ALSO-

Y'know, when I first watched this back in 2019, there was a very brief moment where I thought this movie was gonna go dark. Like, killing off every last human in that castle except Aurora dark. And I was damn ready for it, lemme tell ya. Like-

I was so damn ready for Maleficent tearing down a whole ass castle in motherly rage, not giving a damn about who got caught in the crossfire because all that mattered was getting to Queen Ingrith - the one who stole her child. And what mattered even more was getting to her child and bringing her home - where she belonged.

I mean, the ongoing conflict between the fey and the humans was the driving force behind the attack, yes. Especially after they killed Conall. But, for Maleficent, it was much more personal than that, wasn't it? She went there seeking revenge for the "loss" of her daughter, too. That was the driving force for her.

Also-

The way Maleficent threatens to go in for an instant kill here but ends up swooping over Ingrith to take out everyone else first because she wants to save the Queen for last?? She doesn't want interruptions. She wants to be able to enjoy every.damn.second. She wants to squeeze every last bit of triumph out of that moment.

And I have zero doubt that Maleficent intended Ingrith's death to be as slow and painful as possible, judging by the way she literally swaggers over to her before Aurora (sadly) interrupts proceedings:

I MEAN-

Just look at that smug face. 🫠

BUT ALSO-

Pls look at how PROUD she is here. She's like "ye, that's my daughter and ye, she needs me rn cause, guess what, I'm her MOTHER and she's MY daughter-"

But also-

Aurora, asking to be walked down the aisle: "Would you give me away?"

Maleficent, instant panic mode cause our confused baby isn't familiar with human traditions or speech so she thinks Aurora means literally: "WHA BABY I'D NEVER WHAT ARE U EVEN ON ABOUT MY PRECIOUS BABY-"

Aurora: "Down the aisle, mom."

Maleficent: "..."

Aurora: "..."

Maleficent: 😅

Aurora: 🙈

Okay but also-

If we don't get a baby-lifting scene à la The Lion King in the next movie where Maleficent proudly presents her very first grandchild to the fey folk (who go absolutely wild in response) Imma riot.

SPEAKING OF-

We know next to nothing about Maleficent 3 yet, so we don't know if Maleficent's gonna have a love interest this time around, BUT-

Listen-

While I love the dynamic between Maleficent and Diaval, I just can't see them ever becoming romantically involved with each other. They might bicker like a married couple pretty much 24/7, but they don't give me couple vibes. At all. It's more like...being each other's wingman and wingwoman (apart from being co-parents and the best of buddies ofc). Quite literally, lol.

SPEAKING OF-

I might or might not have opened a Word doc and started typing. So we'll see. ✌️

[girldragongizzard]

Epilogue 7: Egg

The burden of being a person is that you can look around at the situation of the world at large, your own circumstances, and the instincts and drives that push you toward certain reactions to that situation, and you know that as a person you have the willpower and agency to make a choice. So you feel the responsibility of trying to figure out the right choice and to push yourself through to do it, even if it's against those instincts and drives. And then you watch yourself follow those instincts and drives anyway.

It's how humanity got here.

I was born in 1974. I was conscious and building memories before Reagan was elected, and I remember one of his debates with Carter. I don't remember it well, but I remember it was important to people. And after that, things got dark and scary.

I was raised during the end of the Cold War, during a time when no one who took it seriously thought it could or would end in any way but nuclear holocaust. And on top of that, I was educated by my teachers and parents about just how imminent and deadly global warming would be.

And then I watched as seemingly everyone forgot about all of that.

But, there are still way too many nuclear weapons on the planet, and way too many close calls with them. And, oh, look, there's that climate change. And the predicted conflicts and genocides as a result of that climate stress have been ramping up for the past several decades, becoming a backdrop a lot of us take for granted. The world's forests burn while militaries bomb the shit out of civilians and cut off their routes of escape.

And, lo and behold, the sixth global mass extinction has begun, and we dragons are, according to the Artists I've spoken to, the final confirmation of it. Never mind that seventy or so species of life form go extinct every day. Gone. No more. Something weird and alarming has happened as a result of the chaos and now the world has us dragons.

Except that we might turn it all around.

When I look back on my life, before dracomorphosis, I don't remember ever thinking that I would have children. I figured I'd die single and unmated. And that if I ever did find a partner, I'd never be able to support a child. I couldn't support myself. And, I had this weird unfounded suspicion I was sterile or something, which I think was an emotion rooted in fatalism and self loathing, really. But, you know, it's hard to have any sort of hope or sense of self worth when you're raised in a world that's obviously been doomed from before the start of your own life and nothing you ever do measures up.

I also certainly didn't see bringing a child into this world as any sort of ethical thing. I resented being alive, myself, and I saw all birth as a profound cruelty.

Though I mostly kept that to myself, because I didn't want to make anyone else feel more miserable for any reason.

I think that when I was freed from my prison of a previous body, my personality did change pretty fundamentally, though. I'm way more aggressive and fearless than I have ever been in my life. Impulsive beyond my own belief. And despite having fewer words, I talk to way more people way more often. I'm outgoing, and I'm enjoying life, and I recognize myself.

And now I'm proud to be having a child.

I feel like I'm making the world a better place by doing it. And I don't believe my child is going to suffer. I think they are going to thoroughly enjoy whatever life they have, in a way I don't think other lifeforms can ever be sure of.

It isn't fair at all. But, it's what I'm doing.

And I may not have even had a choice in the matter, except to eat my own egg after laying it, effectively aborting it. That is an option that did briefly occur to me and repulse me. But, if I hadn't bred with anyone, I'd very likely have produced a parthenogenic clone. Which would have been sort of a disappointment, but I'd still have been so proud and protective of her.

Instead, I got to experience a whole variety of sex this Spring, and then lay this precious, wonderful egg.

An egg with a surprise in it!

And laying that egg was a trip and a half.

It's about the size of my head, and almost oblong. It's nearly cylindrical, with straight but tapered sides, capped with rounded ends. Clearly shaped to roll in a circle, and to have as much interior space as possible while still being able to pass out of my cloaca without tearing anything.

I woke up in the middle of the night to contractions that felt an awful lot like an urgent shit, and I knew I couldn't make it to the outdoors fast enough. It felt like shapeshifting would have just squeezed it out faster. But, then, what started coming out wasn't soft feeling in any way, so I knew exactly what it was.

I stood up and arched my back, lowering my haunches to the ground and looking back between my legs with my head upside-down. And I got to watch it come out!

And seeing my own cloaca stretch like that was weird. Humans who give live birth can sometimes see that kind of thing when viewing it in video afterward. Or, their partners get to watch sometimes. But seeing your own body do that in real time feels like it's extra alarming. The egg came out big end first, and it is quite a bit bigger than a human baby's head. So, there was this red and yellow smeared mottled green surface in the middle of my stretching vent, and it just kept getting wider and wider, and I had no idea how wide it would have to get.

But, what you have to understand is that my haunches are much, much wider than any human's hips now, and my body is bizarrely, magically malleable.

It didn't hurt much.

It felt, at most, like being badly constipated with explosive diarrhea behind it. My gut was cramping and burbling and roiling, and I realized I also hadn't really had the sense of being pregnant before this. I'd just thought the mass was all part of my growth, and was worried I didn't even have an egg to lay. But now that it was moving, I had a sense of where it was and what it had been displacing.

Arching my back like I was doing then felt like it was helping to keep the rotated egg from pressing against my stomach and diaphragm. Which, I'm not sure makes sense compared to other vertebrates, but that's how it felt. And resting my head against the floor made it feel like I had something to push against during a contraction.

And then my cloaca got as wide as it needed to be and slipped around the bulkiest curve of the egg, and my butt went up in the air as the rest of it fell out and rolled to the floor in less than a second.

What followed was that feeling of needing to push more of something out of my gut very urgently, but having nothing there for the muscles to work on. And I felt so much lighter.

And then I really wanted that little sucker and my own ass to be as clean as possible, and I made that happen.

No need to tell you how. Though, it settled my gut to do it.

And now the egg sits on the least used cushioned chair in our living room. Green against green, at least to my eyes.

I put it there, carrying it slowly and carefully in foreclaws, before shrinking myself down enough to go wake Rhoda up and tell her what happened, to drag her out and show her our greatest prize.

That was about a month ago.

I'm not a mother quite yet, but I sure do feel like one.

—

It's a summer evening. I'm digesting three seagulls with the help of some rocks while I watch Joel snooze in the middle of his park. A family is eating takeout dinner at a picnic table near him and the kids keep trying to get up to go over and bother him, but their parents keep telling them to finish their food first. I can't hear them, of course, but their body language says everything.

I'm wondering if Joel would let our child play on him, too.

I also idly wonder if Astraia will teach them how to play D2R and other computer games.

And will Anurak go flying with them and teach them about the spawning habits of salmon?

I have this weird mix of draconic and human child rearing ideals in my head, and I don't know which ones are relevant. And, in part, that's because so much of it gets to be cultural, apparently. The dragons in the Southern hemisphere are each having their own experiences, and it's different by region as well as culture. And really, truly different dragon by dragon.

The draconologists who've started compiling the data have identified a few trends, similar to with human children. Like I said before, dragon whelps mature faster in some ways. But whether they stay with their parents or strike out for their own territories, or mingle with humans or other dragons really varies a lot.

I just don't know what my own whelp will be like until they hatch, so all I can do is daydream and make contingency plans.

And the way that Joel tolerates strange human children really makes me hope he'll do the same for a little dragon.

I know I would. But the more dragons that can socialize with my child, the better for everyone, I think.

And then I hear a familiar voice. One I haven't heard for several years, accompanied by the sound of a couple of children, and two other, deeper sounding familiar voices.

Familial voices.

They're right below me, where car doors are now slamming.

My body shudders and rumbles. And I pull myself closer to the edge of the building, so that I can hang my head over it and look down. My claws sink into the stone trim.

I can't clearly identify my emotions.

I'm maybe startled, excited, scared, anxious, and eager. I feel like when I'm hungry and I see a particularly doofy and vulnerable seagull below me.

But what I see is my sister, her husband, their two kids, and our parents walking toward my coffee shop from their cars.

For a very silly moment, I imagine bullseye targets on the tops of their heads, like that Farside comic with the caption, "How bird's view the world." And my rumbling stutters like a laugh.

I feel a sudden growing affection and a hope that I don't trust is well placed. But they're here!

Why are they here?

Do they even know who and what I am, now? I haven't messaged any of them. I've been too scared.

I can't go down there and appear to them as I used to be. It's the one shape I absolutely cannot bring myself to take. It's not even that I can't stand the dysphoria of it. I just can't do it.

But I know that shouldn't actually matter.

People who know me will always recognize me. It's like a little weakness. A flaw that sometimes comes in handy. Bewildering and strange, but reassuring.

I've gotta go down there.

They're here for me. They have to be. There's no other reason they'd come all the way up to Fairport and my coffee shop. And they look happy, and I need to see them, even if it goes badly.

I push myself away from the edge and pull myself up into princess form to quickly message Rhoda, "My family are here! At the shop! You can meet them!"

Then I message Chapman, too, realizing sie might like to see them as well.

And then I slip into my smaller natural self and leap off the building.

—

Sometimes, as a person, you've got to grapple with your instincts and drives, even as you watch yourself following them, and steer them in a new direction.

Like, making the decision between hunting a living scavenger or eating grass fed beef.

And sometimes, you can call a halt to them. Like, after a long, lovely dinner with the Artist of Being A Dragon where nothing went wrong, you might still be able to decide, "Nope. My child is going to have only the people I love to draw their traits from."

And sometimes when you've made a choice like that, it helps you face the harder things.

Like telling your seventy-six year old parents that you still think of them, even though you haven't said anything to them for years.

You hold the pride of having stuck to your principals in your gizzard, and you digest it along with your seagulls, and it nourishes you as you do the hardest thing you've done since October.

—

As I cross the street toward the shop from where I landed, I can see my family clustered around two of the big rectangular tables pushed together in the dining area. There's six of them, and maybe they're expecting me, so that makes sense. The audacity of them to rearrange the furniture pricks my secondhand embarrassment a little, but I ignore it. Nobody's bothering them about it.

The shop isn't terribly crowded, either.

Nathan is working alone, but I see Bri and Miriam hanging out doing the books on another table near my family and talking to my Dad and Mom.

It's my nibling, Rika, who sees me first, pulling on my sister's sleeve to point me out to her. Emelie lights up and smiles.

Everyone else looks and I get a mix of half viewed expressions through the windows from them, and feel myself under scrutiny. It's too much for me to tell how each person seems to be feeling, and I've never been great at that anyway. But I definitely feel put on the spot in a way I haven't felt since my first interview with the Mayor.

I feel my body stiffen up and start to strut, and I try to make it stop. I want to be relaxed, like this is normal.

I can't really manage it directly, and I feel like various parts of my body are the wrong size or misshapen or something. But I'm not shapeshifting, thankfully. I do almost balloon out to my full size, but I manage to focus on the door handle as my goal well enough to calm down and get there without doing so.

But just before I press the door latch with my nose to open it, I remember something.

I haven't even come out to any of my family as trans.

My hatching and transition was just all so sudden, and then followed by so much stress, I never messaged any of them. At least, I don't recall doing so.

I've daydreamt about doing so. I've made lots of different tentative plans that I've never followed through on.

And I know that, because of Rika, they're probably cool with trans people. Apparently. Now, at least.

But, I didn't communicate. And I should have.

And if they're looking at me now, because of the way the dracomorphosis worked, the way it resonates in the minds of the people who know us, they can already see.

That might explain some of the expressions.

I push down on the latch. And then I push against the door with the top of my head. And I walk inside.

And before I look up, I can already see that my Mom is coming into the lobby, arms out for a hug, looking sideways and the other way to figure out how to do so, and saying something about hoping to see her new grandchild.

I'll need to get my tablet out to tell her that it's too early for that, but that they can all see my egg if Rhoda invites them up.

I do briefly wonder how she knows that much.

—

It turns out that I've been memed.

There've been a few news sites, some of them garbage AI clickbate sites, that have run copycat articles on me, taking words from the Weekly's and Daily's articles. And screenshots of those have gotten around the social media sights I don't frequent. But that Rika does.

One of those articles deadnamed me, because the police did, and a bunch of trans people jumped on that to write corrections, and that got spread around. And that all happened nearly overnight, so it was one of those little corrective memes that Rika first saw. And it still had my deadname on it, so they knew it was me. Then, when they dug a little further, they found a photo of me that the Weekly's photographer had taken and that clinched it for them, and they got excited.

The first thing they told my sister was, "Your sister is trans!"

Not that I'm a dragon, but that I'm trans.

It turns out that being near a billionaire when he gets swallowed by a nightmare, and being the last person seen flying around the sky with him, kind of makes you an icon, apparently.

Weirdly, my Tumblr blog has not yet received the fallout from that. No one's found it yet, except the handful of followers I already had. So I didn't know.

I think, maybe, Rhoda's no bullshit field is still at work, since I also have yet to experience any legal trouble from any of this, either.

Is that also having an effect on the mood of my parents?

I don't know.

Possibly.

They are being way more understanding than I feared they'd be.

—

The hallway in front of our apartment is really crowded with us, and soon, the apartment will obviously be too small. I've been subtly shrinking myself to fit better.

At first, I was deluged with so many questions that I couldn't answer them even if I had taken princess form for the thumbs. Dragon's blood boon of universal language would have helped, but I still don't want it. And I don't want to shapeshift in front of my family yet. I want them to get used to me being truly me, even if I'm now smaller than I was when I first walked in the door of the coffee shop.

Shapeshifting would spur so many more questions, too. So many more.

Nathan had had to intervene, with his strong voice, and remind everyone that I use AAC to talk, and to slow down for me.

Then Rhoda showed up, and then Chapman, and it got a little easier, because both of them could talk for me.

But they both inspired even more questions.

I settled a lot of them by finally remembering this blog, and pulling it up and shoving it in front of Rika, who smirked because they've already been reading it. Natty leaned in to get an eager look, too. And then when everyone else saw my pinned post with the table of contents they realized just how much I'd already written.

And shortly after that, it was decided and agreed upon by everyone, including Rhoda, that they needed to see the egg.

So here we are.

I like to visualize the egg sitting in that quiet, empty apartment in silence just before the flood of humanity about to hit starts filtering in through the opening front door.

As Rhoda unlocks and opens it, the noise of a couple of excited children and their equally excited but hushed parents washes over the space and finds the egg. And maybe the fetus that's inside is already complex enough to recognize a few words. Maybe it knows, somehow, instinctively, that it's about to be surrounded by family.

And then Rhoda pushes the door wide, walks inside just far enough that there's room, and Rika and Natty jostle their way around her and start rushing to the living room. But Emelie calls out to slow them down, reminding them that this is Rhoda's apartment, not theirs. Justin, her husband, apologizes, and Rhoda dismisses it.

"I am so glad to be in the presence of children," she says. "With my cane, I'm not as unstable as I look. And I don't get enough of it. Please, come in."

"It should be safe to touch the egg, if you don't jostle it," Chapman says. "If Meghan and Rhoda are OK with that."

"Yes," I say, feeling apprehensive but wanting that contact to happen anyway.

"I'm OK with it, since Meghan is," Rhoda says.

That quiets the kids down significantly, as they start whispering instructions to each other while crouching down to look at and touch the egg before the rest of us can even see it.

I'm taking up the rear, because I've already seen the hell out of that egg. I shoved it out of my ass. I know what it looks, smells, tastes, and feels like.

And, also, being at the door allows me to guard the entrance, to make sure no rival dragons are coming through it to eat my egg. Not that that would happen here, or in that way. My brain just insists this is a reason, so I let it think it's a good one.

Rhoda stays in the kitchen as she watches my family file by, one eye on the too small tea kettle.

"Don't worry about it," Chapman says to Rhoda. "We've all had drinks downstairs anyway."

"I know," she replies.

And, I make it into the apartment and turn to close the door by the time my parents make it into the living room to see the egg.

There's a pause of quiet. It makes me wonder what they're all thinking. I listen carefully to see if I can catch anyone whispering or something.

I feel a little tense.

Then my Mom exclaims, "It's so small!"

And I turn to face the wall and bonk it with my head. Maybe a little too loud for the neighbors.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of BL fics where Harry is a bit of a fuckboy. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog the post to spread the word.

Happy reading!

1) Every Time That You Get Undressed (I Hear Symphonies In My Head) | Explicit | 12009 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

An AU in which Harry is the typical frat boy who doesn't believe in love but falls for the insecure mess that is Louis. 

2) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

3) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

4) Even The Best Laid Plans | Explicit | 25190 words

Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

5) Up To No Good | Explicit | 26525 words | Sequel #1 | Sequel #2

Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.

It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.

Sometimes Harry hates his life.

6) Pretenses That Bind | Explicit | 27560 words

Harry’s the school’s playboy. Everyone wants to fuck him and be him. Teachers and parents are no exception. Louis is gorgeous and a year below him. He’s known for being funny and kind and an all around nice guy. He’s been lusting after Harry for years now, just like everyone else. But he see’s what other people don’t, and he knows there’s more to Harry than meets the eye. He’s dying to uncover the layers that make up Harry Styles.

7) Fake It Till You Make It | Explicit | 28777 words

After a serious error in judgement causes Harry to lie to his frat brothers about being in a relationship, he begrudgingly enlists his best friend’s omega roommate to help keep up the charade. There’s only one small issue…

8) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Explicit | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

9) Nicotine | Explicit | 32345 words | Sequel

“We’re two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we’d never date.” Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

10) Sleeping On Our Problems | Explicit | 67429 words

Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

11) Where You Lay | Explicit | 86038 words

When Louis's upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates' best mate, Harry Styles.  Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

12) Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes | Explicit | 120925 words

A sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Do me the honor? (Tierna Davidson x Reader)

This is just a cute little something that took a couple of hours to write, inspired by Tiernas first game back. Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 880

---

You got this baby, I'm sorry I can't be there.

It's okay, I understand.

You're nervous aren't you?

A bit yeah. It's been a long time since I've played at that level

I know baby, it's okay to be nervous and it okay to ease back into a little bit. Just try to enjoy it, you've worked so hard to get back, you deserve to have a bit of fun.

Thank you Y/n/n. I have to go, the bus just got here. I love you so much, I'll call you later tonight if you're still awake.

I love you T, go kick some ass.

Once Tierna hung up I started getting ready to head to the stadium. It was her first national game back after tearing her ACL. It may have been a small lie on my behalf that I couldn't make it to the game. I was going to be there and I was planning on proposing to her after the game. I probably could have gotten away with her knowing I was there, but it would have been harder to sneak away to set up the conference room for after the game. We were pretty private with our relationship so I knew she wouldn't want a public proposal. She wanted one with either just us or with friends and family. 

I had been planning this with Tiernas family and team mates for a few months now. They had helped me keep it a surprise, get permission to use the conference room, get me into the game and pretty much anything else I needed. I spent the time when they were warming up and before Tierna was subbed on to set up the room. I set it up to look like a celebration of her return, with welcome back banners, balloons, champagne, and flowers. 

Tierna played amazing as usual. There were a few times that she held back a bit, but she was having fun and that was what mattered the most. It allowed her to build up the confidence she lost after her injury. Once the game ended, I waited in the conference room with her family while the girls celebrated and showered. Knowing them the celebration would continue on for hours if there wasn't someone to stop them. For that reason I had tasked Ali with the job of reminding them of the plan. 

Her parents where waiting up front when Tierna walked in. She hugged them tightly before her eyes locked with mine. "Y/n?"

"Hey T."

Tierna threw her arms around me, burying her face in my shoulder, "You're here."

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything. You did amazing baby, I am so proud of you."

She finally looked around the room properly, a small smile appearing, "This is why you told me you weren't coming?"

"It would have looked suspicious if I kept disappearing. The girls helped me pull it off."

I let Tierna catch up with her parents and celebrate with her team for a while. She had missed them like crazy during her recovery. It was hard enough not being able to play, adding in not being around some of her closes friends didn't help. They had kept in touch through text and the occasional facetime, but it wasn't the same. It had been a rough year, mostly for Tierna, but it was hard for me to see her so down. Especially at the start when she started to become withdrawn from everything, ignoring everyone and tried to push me away. So seeing her laughing and joking around with the biggest smile I've seen in a long time, it warmed my heart in a way I didn't think possible. All I wanted was to see Tierna happy. 

After about half an hour, I decided I couldn't wait any longer and got everyone's attention. 

"While I did plan this as a celebration for Tierna because well I'm biased. I did want to also congratulate those of you who have also recently made it back after injuries. And a special congratulations to Becky for making 200 caps. You are all amazing." Ali discretely handed me the little black box, "As you all know, well except you Tierna, I have a surprise for you T. When I first met you, my life was pretty messy, I was pretty messy. You could have ran, I wouldn't have blamed you, but you always stuck by me and supported me in the good times and the bad. Even when things are rough, it feels easy with you. You're my bestfriend, my person and I can't imagine my life without you. So with that being said

Tiernas eyes shone with tears as I sunk down on one knee, opening the box, "Tierna, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Tierna pulled me up, connecting our lips in a long, slow kiss that quickly became wet with tears, "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you Y/n. I love you."

The ring slipped easily on her finger, "I love you T, more than you will ever know."

"Ditto. I can't believe you did this for me."

"It's nothing really, you deserve to be celebrated."

"You flew my family here, that's not nothing."

"Well I would do anything for you. You deserve this and more baby. I'm going to do everything I can to give you the life you deserve."

[lucy90712]

Home- Jude Bellingham

WC: 2.8k (this is a longer one)

For most home is the place they go back to every night where they feel safe but for me it is something that has evolved as I've gotten older. When I was young I always thought of home as the house I lived in with my parents but then I grew up slightly and we moved house a few times and I realised that the building I was in didn't matter it was being with my parents so they became my sense of security. Now everything has changed again as I have well and truly moved away from home and to another country and where I feel safe is with my best friend he's the one that provides me with that feeling of being home and being secure.

I met Jude when I was about 5 as my family moved down the same road as his and we have been friends ever since. As kids we always used to play with each other whenever we saw each other at the park or when our parents spent time together. Naturally there was a period of time where we drifted apart and didn't really talk at all as we found other friends but in our later teen years we became so much closer again as he was there to support me through a tough time in my life. When Jude moved away to go and play football I was so incredibly proud of him but I missed him so much when he was away but we talked pretty much every day and whenever he came back home we spent loads of time together.

After spending a year and a bit separated from each other it was time for me to to go university and although I had offers from unis across the country I also applied to a few in other countries that had a good course for that I want to do and I happened to get an offer with a full scholarship to somewhere in Germany. It was like it was meant to be as the uni was in the city that Jude lives in as well so I accepted the place right away. When I moved out there I stayed with Jude for a few days until I was able to move into my apartment and from those few days onwards we have been truly inseparable. We have seen each other nearly everyday since with the exception of days when Jude had to travel to other countries for games which meant spending a lot of time together but we both loved that as we are the definition of best friends.

Recently my friends have been trying to convince me that Jude and I would be a great couple but I always tell them we are just great friends and nothing more but that doesn't stop them talking about it when they think I can't hear. They are always pointing out how much time we spend together and how we supposedly look at each other, I've even heard them call the two of us endgame despite me having a boyfriend. It's not just my friends either I've heard Jude's teammates saying that the two of us would be the perfect couple and making bets on when we will get together, not if when. Whenever anyone talks about Jude and I being a good couple I always shut it down immediately because I don't like to think about it as whenever I do I end up in a dream world where we aren't just friends.

Truthfully I have had feelings for Jude for a few years now it I fight to keep them away because I just can't lose him. There are many nights that I lay awake fantasying about what life would be like if Jude and I were dating but then I remember just how important he is to me and I know I can never say anything. Jude is everything to me he's the one I go to when I'm feeling down and he's the one I celebrate with first when something exciting happens without him I'd be a mess and seemingly all alone. There is no way I could risk telling him and having that ruin our friendship which is why I'm choosing to try and get over my feelings without anyone ever knowing. This is exactly why when I met a nice guy who treated me well I ended up dating him as I needed someone else to focus my attention on and for the most part it works pretty well. There are occasions when I think about Jude but for the most part I'm really happy with my boyfriend and I feel like slowly I can move on from Jude and live my own life happily.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now which is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Recently it's felt like we are getting a bit more serious too which scared me at first but I've now come to terms with the fact that at some point this was going to happen and I need to let myself let go of my feelings for Jude. As we are now completely comfortable with each other I gave my boyfriend a key to my apartment so that when I have late classes he can let himself in so we can spend time together when I get home which since has become a bit of a routine. Today is one of those days where I was supposed to have a late class but we were able to finish an hour earlier as we had nothing else left to cover. As I was early I decided to get some dinner on my way home for the two of us to eat as I thought that would be a nice surprise along with me finishing earlier.

When I finally got to my apartment the door was unlocked which meant someone was already there as I definitely locked the door this morning. As I went inside it was completely quiet and none of the lights were on despite it starting to get dark outside which made me question if I did actually lock the door. Out of fear I grabbed my phone so I could call the police if necessary but as I did I noticed a text from my boyfriend telling me he was at my apartment which somehow made my anxiety worse. I quickly walked around the living room and kitchen before going to look behind all of the closed doors. First was my office but that was empty then came the bathroom but I didn't need to open that door as when I stood outside I could hear moaning coming from further down the hallway which meant it was coming from my bedroom. I didn't want to assume the worst but I couldn't help it so out of pure rage I stomped down the hallway and flung to door open to reveal possibly the worst sight I've even seen. My boyfriend in my bed with another girl.

I'm not sure what came over me but I yelled at both of them kicking them out of my apartment and ending things with my so called boyfriend straight away. I made sure to get my key back too as quite frankly I never want to see that man again. Once they were gone realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and nothing could be done to stop the tears flooding down my face as I questioned how long this had been going on for and how stupid had I been to not notice something was up. So many thoughts were swirling around my mind as I took the sheets off my bed and threw them in the wash as if I ever want to be able to sleep in that bed again I at least need to wash the sheets but honestly that didn't help. Being in my apartment just made me feel worse as I looked at every counter in the kitchen and bathroom and the sofa wondering if they had been tainted too. It was all too much and I needed to get out of there for a bit and the only place I wanted to go is to Jude's as he always knows what to do.

Despite having tears in my eyes I managed to drive to Jude's as I know the route like the back of my hand by now. When I got to the door I rang the doorbell and then just walked in as at this time Jude would know it could only be me. As I took my shoes off and tried to wipe the tears from my face I heard footsteps getting closer until I heard him say hello which instantly brought be comfort as I know he will be here for me for as long as I need to rant about what just happened. When I looked up at him he saw my face which I imagine is puffy and red with streaks of mascara down it and without saying a word he pulled me into a tight hug where I could let my emotions go. Just like every other time Jude has comforted me when I'm upset he picked me up and walked to the sofa where he sat me in his lap and gently rubbed my back to help calm me down.

"Whenever you're ready you can tell me what's wrong" he said

"He cheated on me" I said

"What?" He questioned

"I finished early and when I got home I couldn't find him even though he said he was there and then I heard moaning coming from my bedroom and there he was fucking some random girl in my bed" I ranted

"What an asshole you deserve so much better than someone who would even think of doing that" he said

"How about you stay here tonight and tomorrow we can go together to get you a new bed as you don't want to be sleeping in your current one" he said

"That sounds good but you don't have to come with me" I said

"Well I'm coming whether you like it or not" he laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Thank you Jude I really appreciate you being here for me" I said

"Of course I'll always be here for you" he said

He wiped the tears off my face before moving me off his lap and running off to the bathroom and he came back with makeup remover which he used to take all of my makeup off. He gently rubbed my face to get all of my makeup off with the cutest concentration face as he had his tongue sticking out slightly and his eyebrows furrowed as he made sure to get all of the makeup off. Once he was done he went off again but this time when he came back he had food with him as he had guessed I hadn't eaten which was true as I'd left my food on the counter at home. We turned on our favourite show which we have watched a million times but I could watch it a million more as it always cheers me up especially when I actually get to watch it with Jude.

For the next few hours Jude was just being so sweet he ordered ice cream for the both of us even though he's not supposed to eat it as he knows I like to drown my sorrows in ice cream. He also made sure I was comfortable and cozy under a blanket as he held me close to him for extra comfort. It was just like the old times before I got together with my boyfriend as we often used to have late nights together spent like this and honestly I've really missed them I've missed having Jude so close to me. As we watched the tv Jude innocently moved his arm from being around my shoulder to around my waist which I didn't mind but it sent my head spinning. For the first time in a few months I felt all my feelings for Jude come flooding back the the forefront of my mind. I'd been doing really well at burying them and moving on but after everything that happened tonight having Jude put his arm around my waist sent me spiralling again.

This whole situation is so overwhelming as I don't think at this point I'll ever truly get over my feelings for Jude but I don't feel like I can tell him. Jude means so much to me that if I told him and he didn't feel the same way I would be a mess and not just because he rejected me but because I'd have lost my best friend. There is also a problem as even if he did feel the same and we ended up dating if things didn't work out I'd still lose him. It's all just so much to think about and even though I've thought about it a million times I have still never come up with a resolution that makes me truly happy. There are times I think about just taking the leap of faith and telling him how I feel but I always talk myself out of it before I can get the words out. For me it's a big decision whether or not I want to possibly ruin a lifelong friendship over some stupid feelings or not which is why I'm often thinking about it.

"What are you thinking about?" Jude asked which brought me out of my spiral

"Oh nothing" I replied

"Come on just tell me you know you can tell me anything" he said

"Not this" I whispered under my breath

"Why can't you tell me this what secrets are you keeping from me?" He asked jokingly

In that split second I had a decision to make I either tell him how I feel and hope for the best or come up with another lie which I have to keep up with. At this point I have so many lies or stories I've told when I've chickened out of telling Jude how I feel that I've had to write them down so I can refer back to them when necessary. I feel like I need to stop being so afraid and just go for it, take a risk and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

"I have feelings for you" I blurted out

"What" he questioned

"I have feelings for you Jude and I have for years and I just can't live without telling you anymore" I said

"I know it's a lot to spring on you and I get if you don't want to be friends anymore I just couldn't keep my feelings hidden any longer" I rambled

"I have feelings for you too" Jude interrupted me

"Wait you do" I said

"Yeah I mean how could I not you're so beautiful and such a kind person I just never thought you would feel the same so I never said anything" he explained

I didn't really know how to respond as I honestly didn't think he'd feel to same so it took me by surprise. Knowing Jude felt the same way gave me a boost in confidence so instead of saying anything I just leant in and kissed him. Despite being friends for years and playing many games of truth or dare Jude and I have never kissed before so this was completely new for us both. It took Jude a second to realise what was happening but when he did he kissed me right back and even put a hand behind my neck to pull me in closer. The kiss was amazing it was even better than I imagined it would be which is truly something as I have thought about this moment a lot. It was as if time came to a stand still as we seemed to be kissing forever but when we finally pulled apart it had only been a few minutes.

We looked into each others eyes once we stopped kissing and Jude gently swept a piece of my hair behind my ear before then leaving his hand on my cheek. I could've stayed like that forever but sadly that can't happen as we both have lives to live and we also need to talk about what we are now as we can't stay just friends after that.

"What are we now?" I asked

"I'd love for you to be my girlfriend but I know you just broke up with your boyfriend so we can go slowly if that's what you want" Jude said

"I'd love to be your girlfriend but promise me that if things don't work out we can still try and be friends" I said

"Of course my love I couldn't bare not having you in my life in some way" he said

"So will you be my girlfriend?" He asked

"Of course I will" I replied