#no no no I gotta ruin my favorite blorbo's life

[kakyogay]

of course the ONE TIME I CAN BS MY WAY THROUGH SMALL COMIC THINGS AND KEEP MOTIVATION IT'S FOR A REALLY ANGSTY BACKSTORY I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GIVING SCUGGLES THAT I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO SHARE GODS WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

[ohnoitsjetster]

Who are your favorite Hatchetfield characters?

Also, do you have any strange or unconventional Hatchetfield headcanons?

Yo!! Tysm for the ask! The most concise list I can give for my favorite characters is probably: T’noy Karaxis, Ethan Green, Lex Foster, Duke Keane, and Ms Holloway. They are my blorbos and they are completely ruining my life /pos

Ooh hell yeah, headcanons! Well, I made a couple jokes implying this, but I genuinely headcanon at least half of all Hatchetfieldians to be transgender, especially the aforementioned blorbos (minus Tinky cause I’m not sure he even has a gender…or a sex). I think that’s gotta be my most unconventional one, or at least the most self-indulgent

[beautifulterriblequeen]

For the ask game: tdp and lotr ;)

Ohoho I see how it is, fam! Gosh, okay uhhhhhhhh

TDP

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - Runaan, my angsty long-haired neurodiverse stabby honorable hot elf son who is hopelessly in love with his husband and cannot say feelings to save his life

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Bait, tubby lump o' grump, a rainbow of colors and feelings

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - Opeli, Queen of Order and President/Founder of the We Hate Viren Club, what is their combined backstory like, gosh

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) -Crow Master, my emo son, what is up with his corvid-shaped shadow, he tries so hard to do a Good Job!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - Viren, High Mage of Katolis, Bi Disaster Man, Irredeemable(?) Asshole, Horny On Main For Elves Power, Stealer of Shirts, Eater of Orange Peels, Swiper of Crowns, Locker-upper of Children, Devil-Dealing Dumbass, Reluctant Blood Ritual Performer, Just Generally Thirsty, Researcher and Schemer Extraordinaire Yet Still So Foolable, Smooth-kneed for Saleer, First of His Name

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - ahaha no this would also be Viren if I wanted to break someone, but usually I torment Runaan because he can take it

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - you might think I will say Aaravos, but it's actually whoever is responsible for the Moonshadow elves having to deal with the angst of blood promises/binding ribbons and having assassins in the first place. Someone set this precedent, and it's still here, ruining human and elven lives/families alike. So if that's a dragon, like Luna Tenebris, fine. If it's Bloodmoon Huntress, fine. If it's still Aaravos, fine. May every step they take on the path to superhell land on a Lego.

LOTR

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - Elvenking Thranduil, yes I have a type, stoic white-haired queer badass leaders who protect their people in problematic ways while looking hot, what about it

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Kili, he's literally a chibi dwarf, come on

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - Celebrimbor, the elven smith who got fooled into making the Rings of Power. He's kinda a Feanor 2.0, except way better than the OG redheaded disaster elf because his heart was in a much better place, and realistically who wouldn't fall prey to the charms of Sauron? Anyway, he makes pretty magic artifacts, he's an artificer and that's freaking awesome

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - gotta be the Mouth of Sauron, he's freaky and gross but somehow weirdly compelling

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - Denethor, Steward of Gondor, for the sheer amount of family and cultural angst he can carry all at once, he's an idiotic drama king steward and he drives so much of the plot with his dumb slanted perspective... He's basically a Viren

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - Gimli son of Gloin, because he howls so horribly and Generally Emotes With Overkill, but also so his gentle elven prince, Legolas Greenleaf, can show up to help calm him down and set things right again

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - Smaug! He's a sad little king of a sad little hill, petty and cruel, a tiny little bitch and a coward, pathetic but not even in an interesting meow meow way like Denethor. Just fall, burn, and perish already, you paper airplane lightweight. Ugh.

DUDE this was fun, tysm!!