#no nhks were harmed in the making of this nonsense

[presumenothing]

i oft say that i blame @theforbodingboglands​ for things and it only applies even more than ever today of all days, so anyway here’s mambo no. five wonderwall 209 words of things, have a good (birth)day

BREAKING NEWS, proclaims the usually-demure NHK news ticker, JAPAN’S MOURI RAN CLINCHES BOTH KATA AND KUMITE GOLD AT WORLDS IN RECORD-SETTING WIN –––

Onscreen said record-holder is smiling bashfully (medals glinting from behind an armful of bouquets) against a backdrop of World Karate Championship banners, having just finished her interview with the reporter who now turns back to the camera. 

“Though this year’s competition was held abroad, many longtime fans travelled all the way here to Budapest to cheer her on, including Mouri-senshu’s husband Kudo Shinichi-san – ”

She’s followed (or interrupted, rather) by a thunk suspiciously resembling what a person-sized object would sound like if it happened to flail and fall over just several inches offscreen.

“Don’t bother, that’s just the Shinichi-kun – oh, sorry, I mean Mr. Mouri –fainting from excessive happiness,” comes a (similarly offscreen) voice that would likely have been inaudible if its owner hadn’t been well-practised in projecting over louder situations, and one far more familiar to audiences of the society section rather than the sports news. “Thanks for that, by the way, he’s going to be insufferable about it for the rest of the week – the rest of the month – now. But you may talk to this Sonoko-sama instead, of course!”