#no matter what direction it takes us
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but seriously while i will be slow answering them ty to everyone who sent in those flirty memes (and if u haven't yet and want to, feel free to do so)!!! i often get v self conscious about that stuff bc i've been heavily bullied for that sort of thing in the past, mainly anons yelling at me about "only wanting to ship". so i always feel nervous posting stuff like that!!! or talking about potential (romantic) ship stuff!!!! so genuinely thank you for giving me a night of shippy feelings, even if i am slow to respond to them.
#m. ooc#i do like to ship#but it's never my go to intention#so i hope no one ever feels otherwise#i just want us to have fun writing#no matter what direction it takes us#now i am going to bed#i'm rather shy about writing more suggestive stuff#so one answer at a time#is probably all i'll have in me most days#ty for bearing with me#and ty for making my night
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The Timeline Shifted, and Sam is conflicted...
So! A Timeline Shift occurs one day (thanks Barry) while Team Phantom are in the Ghost Zone helping Clockwork with a few things. As they are going back to the Human World, Clockwork gives them another cryptic piece of advice.
"Unfortunately the world will not be the same as it once was. Samantha, you will find this especially Jarring, but keep an open mind."
Before they can ask what happened, he shoves them through their own respective Portals, and Sam lands in an Alleyway in Gotham.
She is confused, but a green glowing sticky note appears in front of her telling her 'go to the nearby park, you will see what I was talking about'
She walks over, and sees a lady with Green Skin tending to some flowers. Her head is covered by a Hat, so Sam can't see her face.
They strike up a Conversation, and Sam finds that this Lady is great. She loves taking care of Plants, she hates it when Companies pollute the Earth, and she even has Plant Powers just like Sam!
It occurs to her that she never asked for the Lady's name, so she asks and the lady lifts her Hat to reveal her face. And Sam freezes.
"Oh, sorry for not introducing myself. My name is Pamela Isley."
Thats her Mom's Maiden Name.
This lady has her Mom's Name.
This is her Mom.
Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh shit.
...
Read the tags for extra context
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Samantha Mason#Sam Mason#Pamela Isley#Barry shifted the Timeline#Pamela never married into the Mason Name and moved to Gotham#She struck up a love for Botony and eventually becomes the Ecto Terrorist Villain Poison Ivy#She is the complete opposite of what she used to be#Sam is conflicted#On one hand She loves this new direction for her mother and now she feels like she can relate to her so much more#On the other hand she thinks that her mom should have had a choice in the matter and wishes she could have chosen this on her own#Is it taking advantage of the situation if the old version of her mom technically never existed?#Also to add an extra layer of Crack#Sam's Dad was born a girl in this timeline and studied psychology#You see where this is going#Sam's Dad is now Harley Quinn
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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realizing that communication actually doesnt matter as much as ppl say it does, bc most ppl glorify it and see it as a magical solution when in fact communicating your feelings/wants/needs only work if other ppl are receptible to it. which... most ppl arent, both bc many dont want to bc it requires too much effort of them and it's easier to shift blame on others not "communicating", but also bc many many ppl just have brains that arent wired to understand others, or other viewpoints and perspectives. thus, no level of communication will make someone who isnt capable of receiving it hear you. most efforts to "communicate" are completely wasted. and it's frustrating, but what can u do?
#one of my main examples of this is...#i clearly stated in the beginning of someone expressing potential interest in me#that i have feelings for someone and i cant help that or do anything abt and its just how it is#but that person continued to call me stupid for not just stopping my feelings for my person#thats just an example *i* FEEL is obvious#even if u tell someone or warn someone or give someone a head ups#if they arent capable of comprehending it or you... it wont matter#they will still hurt / punish / get mad at u for not being what they want#so yeah... makes me wanna scream#humans are just too much fkn pain in the ass </3#i barely even see the point in being upfront or direct or honest anymore#it doesnt even fucking matter bc apparently most ppl are fkn incapable of hearing u 😒#i've always thought it so important to be considerate to others#not waste their time... not give them fair warnings etc etc#but more and more i feel like 9/10 they just fkn lash out on u anyway#maybe i should just be sketchy and dodgy and vague distant and detached and avoidant like everyone else is#and just protect myself and my own selfish desires and needs and wishes. everyone else does that.#i just am not wired to look at ppl and see what they can give me or what i can use them for#thats why i often am just upfront and honest. i dont see ppl as merchandise or their sole purpose being to serve me and my needs#im just a human and theyre a human and we have a mutual thing going#but no. nooooo. thats how *i* work. i've learned that now#most (not all but far too many im tired) look at others and automatically calculate how they can use them#what they can get out of talking to u. what they can take and get from u. how to make u act the way they want to#idk where im going with this.... uh. i just dont see the point in communicating. ppl dont listen..#bc they dont want to cummincate. they want u to shut up and act like the marionette they see u as. they dont wanna hear u out or understand#they want u to just behave and act how they tell u. thus communicating is a total waste of energy 9/10 times#like .. for example on here. i can put like warning im mentally ill in my bio. but ppl will still be personally affeonted when i act that#way to myself ... most ppl just are not capable of listening to others or processing the fact that others dont exist for them#it doesnt matter how much u try to be honest or direct or upfront bc they dont care. they dont hear it. they wont adjust or respect u.#so why even bother communicating? or warn? or be direct? none of that even makes a lick of difference its so futile
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well that's just a lie
#ash plays bg3#bg3#gale#gale dekarios#personal#look. im used to the way he looks now. im cool with it. but she shouldnt be!#this was an interesting conversation tho. i know ive been leaning into him following his own ambitions but--#the dialogue options along those lines are becoming a lot more direct in a way that doesnt quite fit with how im playing#the gale that im playing isnt going around pronouncing that he's gonna take over the world (because that's not what he's actually planning)#so im not completely sure how to play this. i saved before so i can go through it a few times to work out what i want to say#(ftr i have no qualms at all about reloading in this game. i dont feel bad in the slightest. im playing this game for fun)#ultimately i dont think it matters too much what i say here unless i choose some really extreme options. which isnt my plan anyway#but it's important to me. im enjoying the roleplay aspect#it's also pretty funny that ive only had one long rest since the one where i fucked the emperor. i should be able to tell her that lmao#like hey yeah a lot's happened since we last spoke#but anyway if you say you're gonna take the crown yourself she says 'if it doesnt crush you i will' which is fun#gonna stick with the 'im not sure' option. and all my companions are saying such nice things to me about it :')#except wyll and jaheira. come on guys#and lae'zel but that's because she's been kidnapped so. rip. should probably make that a priority but i like progressing main quests LAST
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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Tumblr fandom can be fun
Tumblr fandom can be only fun
If you feel passionate about something, then you should express yourself
But if fandom just makes you angry, and you don't need the stress, you don't have to deal with stress
Unfollow, block, curate your own experience
You don't have to make anyone happy but yourself
*hugshugshugshugshugs*
#are you being hateful to people you dont even know?#maybe its time to get off of tumblr and take your passion out into the real world#yes someone will say or you could turn off your phone and go outside#that person is entitled to their opinion#but some people are in situation which they can only escape online#try to be welcoming to people#if you feel unwelcome you may want to limit your interactions with the fandom#narrow your involvement to one movie or book or ship or character or actor etc#if you are attacking people you arent even mutuals with maybe think about how useful this is#maybe direct your animosity at something in the real world that represents the same issue#if you've been attacked understand that some people enjoy attacking strangers or making fun of people#you cant fix it so dont try#dont engage#protect yourselves#no matter which side of nagativity you are on#fandom stuff is small fights#fight the big fights#if you aren't here to fight dont#thats what unfollow and block are for#you will find other nicer people#it happens all the time!#peace and love my dears
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen?
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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every time i see someone claim the ancients were a magical indigenous utopia to aspire to (with 'a few little problems'), and any criticism of them as a society is apologia for native genocide, i clutch my head in agony. never change, twitter
#FF tag#ffxivtag#racism cw#anti-indigenous racism cw#there's just. there's so much. there's So Much#there's so much here that is just utterly balls out offensive in just. every direction and is in fact! incredibly anti-indigenous!#every time i start trying to summarize even one of them it turns into a massive tag rant!#tl;dr of about half of it is that if they *were* meant to be interpreted as indigenous; in the sense that it is applied to irl cultures#that's not heartwarming poignant representation; or even a depiction the narrative should be criticized for drawing its conclusions about#that's 'hey what the fuck are these parameters you've built into this world/magic system/society/etc re: the victims'#'the premise this setup is based on is already fucked; no matter what statement you have to make about it'#spoiler alert: 'indigenous genocide victims did it to themselves with no outside involvement'#and 'indigenous people want to reclaim land; culture; and government from colonizers by violently wiping out Our Way of Life'#'and that is in fact the *only* way for them to do so. it's flat out impossible for things to go otherwise. it's us or them'#would be INCREDIBLY offensive tropes even before you get into everything else being implied by this metaphor#which again there is SO MUCH don't get me started. i keep having to restrain myself because i know there is not enough room in the tags#but oh my god. anyway i keep getting jumpscared by this take on other sites and i phase out of my body every time#It's Bad#the salt files#the crit files#warning: worm grass
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the thing that I really feel about male contraception is it doesn't matter how much you trust your partner because you are simply not always in control of what happens to you. and if shit happens you're going to want to know your bases are covered. you cannot guarantee your partner will be honest but more importantly you cannot 100% guarantee you will only have sexual contact with your partner, and that may not be in your control, and if nothing happens you're fine and if something does happen pregnancy on top of that is the last thing you fucking need
(nb I have been pregnant multiple times and I didn't start hormonal contraception until I was like 28 because I'm afraid of doctors. so my high horse is like. subbasement level. this is a reflection of my innermost feelings not a judgement call.)
#red said#i trust my partners totally with contraception. although condoms do have a baseline failure rate which is not a trust issue#but that's the thing right#with stuff like condoms there's all the situational stuff like trust aide you might not notice it tear.#you might get carried away and not have one on you.#but hormonal contraception doesn't have those issues and it can really fuck with periods so i understand why people are like#MEN SHOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE CONTRACEPTION#but like. i have had Experiences when it comes to the amount it doesn't matter to people i don't want to have sex with who do it anyway#what my boundaries are around contraception. i trust my partners and the people i choose to have sex with.#sometimes. you don't choose to have sex. look out for yourself cause your body is in your own control in that way#plus if your partner also took contraceptives it wouldn't hurt to double up. just like mixing physical and hormonal contraception#anyway sorry to do rape mentions of of nowhere i just kept seeing posts about male contraceptives and it's a Thing for me#i get that the responsibility shouldn't be all on us but I'm the one getting fucked up if it goes wrong so i wanna be in direct control
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attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones
#attention span is also variable regardless of the perceived value of the activity#im sure i could pay attention longer scrolling tumblr than in a class. and in that scenario the class would be more valuable to me#but i also concentrate better on swimming (intense exercise) than busywork in school (serves no purpose to me)#thats to say that we arent stereotypical defiant kids who dont want to do anything but play video games#the internal experience of adhd is needing a higher level of motivation and satisfaction to initiate difficult tasks#so mundane things are almost always harder than for someone who doesnt have executive function#ill put it really bluntly. yes more so than usual. take cover#adhd isnt tiktok brain. some of us lose jobs over this shit. some of us cut ourselves over this shit. some of us cannot function.#it is not and will never be a 'man up and get off instagram reels' disorder. it will exist no matter what i do. adhd is part of me#and on many things the world needs to make concessions to us. sorry!#it may not seem like much from an outsiders perspective to 'build back yr attention span'#but when im constantly fucking up and constantly reminded of how my executive dysfunction + lack of focus hurt me#its kind of weird to think that building back my attention span hasnt occurred to me#dont remember who said this but if you dont feel the wind its blowing in yr direction#(this is not a rebuttal to a popular post this is my addition to the discourse about adhd surrounding it)
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oh i'm definitely gonna lose some friends for this one huh
#already got vagueposted about by one former friend as 'comparing pro-palestine sentiments to antisemitism'#direct quote 'israel desperately wants them to believe this is a religious war and not a genocide'#same guy who said 'boy howdy do we know their side of the story' and ten short texts later said verbatim:#'we can't use religion as birthright thats stupid and the Number One Tool of Colonizers'#which is a STAGGERING amount of cognitive dissonance#as if religion is the relevant part and not the literal historical fact of jewish indigineity to eretz israel#mind you at the time of the vaguepost the ONLY thing i said regarding palestine#was that if your 'support' for palestinians includes sharing basic antisemitic dogwhistles and blatantly lying about history#then that 'support' will accomplish nothing for palestinians and only get jews killed#and i feel like looking at that and insisting that i'm comparing all pro-palestinian sentiment to antisemitism is uh. telling#we'll see how this ends up going - i fear it may not be the greatest for my social life but i stand by what i said#bc even if i am wrong about Everything directly surrounding israel and palestine#i was strictly discussing antisemitism in the discourse surrounding it#and a longer version of 'no stance on israel makes you immune to antisemitism and antisemitism runs deep and will affect your thinking on#the matter and refusing to acknowledge that is dangerous' isn't actually dependent on the intracacies of the conflict it's just True#and i'm not gonna back down again i'm not going to downplay antisemitism again i'm not going to give up#i'm not sure if i have jewish friends i simply do not know about who see what i say on there#but if i do then i need it to be clear they have Someone who is willing to fight for them#and if not i still need to make it clear i won't stand for blatant antisemitism no matter whose name it's in#the only thing that would make me consider taking down what i said is if i believed it's counterproductive#and part of me wonders if it is - i don't want to put people on the defense bc that's simply not conducive to good faith discussion#but at the same time i know that a lot of what i've needed to hear was fed up or harsh words#that i started off just reading and keeping my defensiveness inside until they sunk in over time#and maybe my frustration will have that effect for someone#damn i really need to make some jewish friends... maybe after break i'll reach out to hillel or a local shul to ask if they could use a han#or something idk we'll see#personal#faggotry enjoyer original
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//my favorite thing lately has been scrubbing the internet for decades old samurai jack edits and amvs and watching them. there’s so much love for samurai jack in them, faith that he would be back to finish his tale one day, and it fits perfectly with the time it came out lol. the edits aren’t as great as they would be with technology nowadays and the music is often linkin park but there’s always an open love for Jack and the series in there. and there’s something about seeing people love Jack even when it’s not at it’s most angsty, when it’s just seasons 1-4, without the novelty, without anything else to focus on but what makes Jack Jack.
#『 out of robes 』#samurai jack#ok to rb#//I love season 5 but man. it’s so saturated it feels like people forget that’s not Jack’s natural state#//Jack isn’t John Wick. weirdly controversial statement lol#//jack at his core is an honorable gentle kind and good man. the gruff and sharp exterior was forged and is necessary#//but he doesn’t LIKE fighting. he wants peace. he seeks a peaceful solution before he fights#//he’s an extremely well trained and steely warrior don’t get me wrong. he kicks ass and he takes a measure of pride in his abilities#//but s5 is the furthest he is from himself. the show even acknowledges that. Jack loses himself (understandably)#//it’s hard to put into words idk I feel like I’m going in all directions here but like#//the essence is that there’s a difference in the way jack fights and survives in s1-4 and the fighting and survival of s5#//there’s a balance there. Jack hasn’t gotten rid of the kind young man underneath the warrior he fights USING that#//meanwhile in season 5 he thinks that’s lost forever and loses himself in being a weapon and brutal survival#//there’s something that significantly lessens the impact of s5 when all people focus on is Jack at his worst#//ignoring how he started#//bc the thing that’s significant to me about samurai jack ISNT the incredible fight scenes and badass moments#//it’s the quiet. it’s the gentleness. it’s the tenacity to do good no matter how much BAD is done to you.#//no matter how much you have to sacrifice. refusing to leave anyone behind#//there was truly nothing like the original samurai Jack series and there never will be again.#//a main character in an action series who is quiet gentle honorable respectful and kind and stubbornly hopeful no matter what#//the fact that Jack isn’t what you’d expect from someone in his position. that even when he stumbles even when he’s angry#//he refuses to let others get hurt. he can be grouchy and prickly and stoic but he’s still showing he cares through his actions.#//the thing that is most important in Jack’s story is always that he doesn’t stay broken. that every sacrifice he made#//every loss he felt and everytime he helped others at his own expense wasn’t for nothing#//that every single action he took sowed the seeds of hope that meant he would be lifted up in return#//as Jack’s father said ��your castle is strong.’
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rubbing my temples a little thinking about tim takes
#you guys know he's multifaceted and no singular voice line defines him right?#also you guys have heard his little very genuine 'oh no...' when he shoots ppl right?#yes he seems to enjoy it sometimes but others he REALLY DOESN'T.#it's hard to tell what's acting and what's genuine in tps but even if you take everything as being 100% tim like#he contradicts himself!!! A LOT!!! he is not one thing. he is not uwu innocent bean OR bloodthirsty psychopath!!!!!#he's a secret third thing (multifaceted)!!!!!#this is not at anyone in particular btw so if you think it's about you it ABSOLUTELY IS NOT!!!!! I'm just thinking out loud#just urgh at how there seems to be two different camps on what tim 'is' and neither is really accurate to canon ough#I'm ALL for different interpretations & i welcome them but when talking about CANON can we please. Not ignore entire facets of his character#there's technically no wrong way to interpret tim i guess but he's just so complex and it can be frustrating to see ppl take a handful#of voice lines that suit their purposes and run with those#and completely ignore the voice lines on the opposite end of the uwu to deranged scale. like. OUGH!!!!!!!#CAN A MAN NOT BE BOTH#aww kitty i ruv him and wanting to strangle kittens like that's the SAME MAN. SAME MAN!!!#dif games but using for direct comparison. you get it.#anyway. I love timothy lawrence#from uwu kitty luvr to getting a little too into murder to puppy kicking intrusive thoughts i love that man#ANYWAY. WHATEVER. interpret tim how you want!!!! In the end it doesn't truly matter i just am insufferable about him LMAO#sylv speaks#dl#i know I'm not one to talk bc my tim is pretty soft but still (<- person who wrote about tim getting off to the thought of strangling jack)#i don't rly have a point I'm just thinking about him and posts ive seen over the years#((once again this is NOT A VAGUE and NOT ABOUT ANYONE!!!!!!!))
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overcoming anxiety (through practicing the things that scare you) is so interesting. i used to be horrified of taking up space or alerting other people of my presence. now i'm compelled to tell strangers i like their outfits or hair or earrings- on bad days i tell maybe a quarter of them. do i still overthink it? absolutely. but i call attention to myself to tell someone else my opinion. and with the way they tend to smile and tell me "thank you!" i'm pretty sure it's taken to heart.
i used to be horrified of making phone calls as well. this is one i'm still getting over- i just Don't Like Doing It. i used to have a phone call routine that i still joke about- realize i need to call someone, cry, avoid it for a few days, suck it up, write a script, memorize the script, cry again, final script read, make the call with the script in front of me. and i would be Exhausted by the end of it. i don't cry when i need to call people anymore. i'm even needing scripts less and less- i've found out that people actually won't kill me if i talk a little too fast or stumble on my words. i doubt i'll ever like making phone calls- i especially hate robots (i'm afraid they'll mishear me and direct me wrong or a person will suddenly show up and i won't be prepared)- but i can make them now.
i get overwhelmed really easy. just a thing that happens to me. my brain is really really good at taking one task and breaking it up into thousands of little tasks and it feels like i'm drowning. if i try to make it fewer larger tasks then it starts to feel insurmountable. i was completely lost on how to deal with this (other than avoid until you get that panic attack and can do work in the post-catharsis calm until 6:00 AM) until one night when my dad (who i often meet late at night due to overlapping mental illness symptoms) asked me how to eat an elephant. i looked at him, confused, and he said "one bite at a time." that was way more effective than any other analogy i've seen has been. "light at the end of a tunnel"- i don't feel like i'm moving forward, i feel like i'm scaling a wall. "steps on a trail"- i can see my destination, but it feels impossible to move forward. but eating an elephant? that sums it up perfectly. this huge task which seems impossible at a glance. but it must be done. so you eat the elephant, a bite at a time. every time i'm overwhelmed i repeat that phrase to myself. it hasn't made any major changes yet, but it keeps me calm enough to start before i hit the panic attack, which i'll take.
i was such a perfectionist growing up- i actually thought it was a good thing (school always taught me to strive for perfection). but it made me scared to try new things- if i wasn't immediately good at them, then it clearly wasn't for me. i'm still not great at starting new hobbies, but i try a lot of new things within the hobbies i already have. i test out different ways of making art, i try new puzzle games i don't understand, etc. and the feeling of steady improvement reminds me that i don't need to be good right away. some of the most satisfying moments don't come from immediately being good- they come from achieving that skill over time. i'd like to try to learn to sew soon.
idk it's interesting. i rewire my own brain's fear response by doing the Horrifying Thing enough times for me to understand that no i will not die. and while i'm doing it it feels like nothing is changing. i get so stressed every time- it can actually take a lot out of me (turns out fight-or-flight burns a lot of energy). but i look back at then vs. now and i realize how far i've come, and i can't help but think "huh. neat"
#marzi speaks#this post has no point. i am simply thinking out loud#i think understanding the root of where the anxiety comes from helps a lot too#like. my mom feels most secure when she's in control#she doesn't like situations in which she can't control how she responds or what happens when she does#it makes her feel helpless. and that's how her GAD affects her#it's also why her fear response is 'fight'- she stress-cleans and expresses authority because those are things she can control#it's a self-soothing technique#but for me it's different. i'm most at ease when i know where i am and what's going on#this could be for plenty of reasons. i'm bad at directions and time blind so i feel lost easily#i had to learn to do a lot of things by myself growing up because my brother needed a bit of extra attention#my parents used to sometimes forget to tell me about things- i wouldn't know we were going somewhere until they asked me if i was ready#or even just that i was always surrounded by so much information and i love learning with my whole heart#when i can't know what will happen next or why something's happening in the first place i get disoriented and frightened#i don't need to have a say in what will happen. i just need to know. then i can roll with the punches#this is why MY fear responses are flight and freeze#i self-isolate because i know environments like my room and my mind#other people are unpredictable. i know what i will do#i like puzzles because they're something i can learn and figure out. once i understand it's a matter of patterns#and they take my mind off of the unknown i'm worried about#my mom will engage in a lot of conflict behavior. i engage in a lot of avoidant behavior#yes this caused arguments growing up lmao. i'd be freaking out abt smth and she'd be confused as to why i wasn't just going and fixing it#or she'd be freaking out abt smth and i'd be confused as to why she didn't try to just get all the facts#but we're better communicators abt that now teehee#it's interesting though. we have the same illness (generalized anxiety disorder) and are similar in a lot of ways#but because our root fears are different our responses to them are different#this could also be learned#my mom grew up poor and didn't get to do a lot- she worked her ass off to have financial freedom#i grew up comfortable with every question i asked entertained by two very smart parents. when a question can't be answered i feel dissonant#it's probably a bit of both in some cyclical manner. still nifty to think about
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