#no matter how hard I try to move past it she's still digging it up

[navy-heart]

God why is my mother such a terrible human being

[fleming-o]

Beneath the surface p2 - Alexia Putellas x Teen reader

Tw: parent neglect

4k words

request

master list

———

The adrenaline of the match thrummed in your veins, but not enough to distract you from the storm swirling in your mind. You knew something was off as soon as you stepped onto the pitch. Your hands had trembled a bit more than usual during warm-up, and even Alexia’s comforting smile before the match couldn’t fully shake the feeling that something was wrong.

But you pushed through, focusing on the ball, the movements of your teammates, and the strategy that had become second nature to you. The rhythmic sound of the crowd, their chants and cheers, usually helped to ground you, but today it only seemed to fade into the background. It was like trying to keep a lid on a boiling pot—no matter how much you focused on the game, that unsettling feeling kept creeping back in.

Halftime came too soon. The game was tied, and your muscles buzzed with the familiar tension that came from giving your all on the pitch. You made your way to the tunnel, wiping sweat from your brow, but then you saw her.

Your heart slammed into your chest as you froze, your cleats digging into the grass. A face you hadn’t seen in months—your mother’s. Her piercing gaze found yours, and in an instant, the walls you’d built around yourself over the years started to crumble. She hadn’t come to any of your matches in forever, so what was she doing here now?

The air around you felt thick, heavy with an old pain that you thought you’d buried. You stared at her, your body going cold despite the heat of the afternoon sun. You could already guess what this was about. It was never about you—never about your achievements or your success. It was always about what she could take from you.

A gentle hand on your back jolted you from the suffocating memory.

“Hey,” Alexia’s voice was like a lifeline, pulling you out of the past and back into the present. She stood close, eyes narrowing slightly as she followed your gaze toward the stands. “Everything okay?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, barely managing to speak. “She’s here.”

Alexia didn’t need to ask who. She knew the stories, the weight your mom held over you, the scars she had left both inside and out. You’d never had to explain too much—Alexia had always just… understood.

Her hand moved from your back to your shoulder, squeezing gently. “Do you want me to handle it?”

You shook your head quickly, though the knot in your chest told you otherwise. “No. I don’t… I don’t want to make a scene.”

Alexia’s eyes darkened, but she didn’t press further. She guided you toward the tunnel, her protective presence never leaving your side, and for a moment, you felt a small sense of relief. Maybe this could wait. Maybe your mom would leave.

But as you reached the locker room, that gnawing feeling of dread stayed with you, clawing at the edges of your thoughts.

Alexia shot you a glance, her eyes soft with concern. She leaned in slightly as the rest of the team prepared to head back out onto the pitch. “You sure you’re okay to keep playing?”

“Yeah,” you lied, though the knot in your stomach twisted tighter with every word. “I’m fine. I just need to get through the second half.”

Alexia’s gaze lingered on you, as if she could see right through the façade you were trying so hard to maintain. But she nodded. “Alright. Just… I’m right here if you need me, okay?”

You gave a small nod, but the truth was, you weren’t sure you could handle it. Not with her still out there, lurking like a ghost in the stands.

As the second half started, your legs felt heavier, the usual fluidity in your movements replaced with an awkward stiffness. Every pass, every run, every decision felt more forced than it should’ve been. And whenever the ball was out of play, your eyes betrayed you, flicking up to the stands. She was still there, her gaze following your every move, and with each passing minute, it felt like she was slowly suffocating you.

Even when the final whistle blew, sealing a hard-fought 2-1 victory for Barcelona, the relief didn’t come. You should’ve felt the rush of victory, the thrill of celebration, but all you felt was dread. Dread, because now there was nothing left between you and her.

You lingered on the pitch as your teammates gathered in celebration. The roar of the crowd washed over you, but the sound felt distant, like it was happening to someone else. The fear, the shame, it all bubbled up inside you again, and you suddenly felt like that scared kid who was never good enough.

Alexia noticed you hadn’t moved and made her way over, her steps quick and deliberate. “Hey,” she said softly, standing beside you as she glanced around, clearly searching for what had you so shaken. “She’s still here, isn’t she?”

You nodded, unable to speak past the lump in your throat.

Alexia’s face hardened, and just as you feared, she spotted her. Your mother hadn’t left. She was standing closer now, at the edge of the stands, her arms crossed as she watched you with the same cold, calculating look you had grown up with.

“I’ll take care of it,” Alexia muttered, her voice low and filled with quiet anger. She started to move, but you grabbed her wrist.

“No, don’t. Please,” you begged, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’ll just make it worse.”

But Alexia’s expression was fierce, her protective instincts roaring to life. “I’m not letting her near you.”

Before you could stop her, your mother’s sharp voice cut through the air like a blade.

“There you are.”

Your stomach dropped. She was walking toward you, weaving through the crowd as if she belonged here. Her eyes landed on you, filled with the same mix of disdain and expectation that they always had. You could feel Alexia stiffen beside you, her muscles coiling with tension.

“I came all this way to see you,” your mother said, her voice laced with irritation. “And this is how you treat me? After everything I’ve done for you?”

You could barely breathe. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the stadium. You wanted to disappear, to run away, but your legs felt like they were glued to the ground.

Alexia stepped forward, her voice calm but deadly serious. “You need to leave.”

Your mom’s eyes flicked toward Alexia, narrowing as she appraised her. “And who are you to tell me that? This is between me and my daughter.”

Alexia didn’t budge. “She doesn’t owe you anything,” she said firmly, her voice steady as steel. “You don’t get to show up here and demand things from her.”

Your mom’s lips curled into a sneer, the venom in her gaze now directed fully at Alexia. “I’m her mother. I have every right to be here. You think you can just step in and control her life?”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, but it wasn’t fear anymore. It was anger. You’d spent your whole life trying to earn her approval, trying to be enough for her, but standing here now, with Alexia by your side, you realized something. You didn’t owe her anything.

“She’s right,” you said, your voice trembling but stronger than before. “You don’t get to do this anymore.”

For the first time, your mother looked truly shocked. You had never stood up to her like this before. Her eyes flicked between you and Alexia, and you could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to figure out how to regain control.

But Alexia wasn’t going to give her the chance.

“If you don’t leave now,” Alexia said, her voice low and dangerous, “I’ll make sure security escorts you out.”

There was a tense pause, and for a moment, you thought your mother might push back. But then, with a huff, she turned on her heel and walked away, her posture stiff with indignation.

You watched her disappear into the crowd, your chest heaving with a mix of relief and lingering fear. The weight of her presence, the years of manipulation and guilt, all of it felt like it had been lifted, if only for a moment.

Alexia turned to you, her eyes softening. “You okay?”

You nodded, but the tears that stung your eyes told a different story. You blinked them back quickly, not wanting to cry here, not in front of everyone. “I think so.”

Before either of you could say more, Mapi and a few of your other teammates approached, clearly having seen at least part of the exchange.

“Everything alright?” Mapi asked, her voice laced with concern.

Alexia glanced at you, and when you didn’t immediately respond, she spoke for you. “Her mom was here. She was trying to pull the same manipulative crap as always.”

Mapi’s expression darkened, and the others exchanged knowing looks. They all knew about your complicated relationship with your mom—how it had shaped you, scarred you.

“I’m sorry,” Mapi said quietly, her hand resting on your shoulder in a gentle show of support. The rest of the team gathered around, offering soft words of comfort and reassurance.

“We’ve got your back,” Alexia whispered, pulling you into a side hug. “Always.”

For the first time in a long while, you believed her.

You took a shaky breath, letting the warmth of Alexia’s embrace seep into you, grounding you. The support from your teammates wrapped around you like a safety blanket, and slowly, the tears that had been threatening to spill began to fall.

“I thought I’d never get away from her,” you confessed, your voice muffled against Alexia’s shoulder. “I thought I’d just keep feeling this way forever.”

Alexia tightened her grip on you. “You don’t have to feel like that anymore. You’re not alone in this.”

Mapi nodded, her expression serious. “We’re a team, and we’re here for each other. You’re family, and family doesn’t let you fight these battles alone.”

Your heart swelled at her words. Family. That was a word you hadn’t felt you deserved for so long, but with them, it felt real. You looked around at their faces—each one filled with understanding and support.

The tension in your shoulders began to ease, and you felt a flicker of hope—a belief that maybe you could reclaim your life from the shadows of your past.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. “I really appreciate all of this.”

“Don’t mention it,” Mapi replied, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We all go through our struggles. It’s how we come together that counts.”

Alexia stepped back slightly, her eyes searching yours. “Want to talk about it, or do you want to let it go for now? We can focus on the next game, or I can listen if you want to share.”

You felt a swell of gratitude for her understanding nature. “Maybe…just a bit. I want to talk about it, but not here. Can we go somewhere private?”

“Absolutely,” she said, her expression softening. “Let’s head to the locker room.”

As you made your way back, the locker room felt different. It was no longer just a space for changing and preparing; it was a sanctuary, a place where you could shed the burdens of the past. You settled onto a bench in the corner while your teammates chatted and celebrated around you, the laughter and shouts a comforting backdrop to your emotions.

Alexia settled beside you, her presence steady and calming. “You’re safe here. I promise.”

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts as you looked down at your hands. “I just…I thought I could handle it if I ignored her, you know? But seeing her here, it brought everything back. The way she always made me feel like I was never good enough, like I had to prove myself just to earn a scrap of her approval.”

“She’s wrong,” Alexia said firmly, her voice imbued with conviction. “You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you’ve done it all on your own terms. You don’t owe her anything.”

You nodded, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. “It’s just hard to shake off. Even now, after standing up to her, I still feel that guilt creeping in. Like I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Let that guilt go,” Alexia encouraged softly, her hand finding yours and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You deserve to prioritize yourself, your happiness, and your well-being. It’s okay to put yourself first, especially when it comes to toxic relationships.”

Your eyes met hers, and for a moment, the noise of the world around you faded away. In that quiet bubble, you felt a connection that ran deeper than words. It was an understanding forged through shared struggles, through pain and healing. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do,” she replied, sincerity radiating from her. “You’re strong, and you’ve fought so hard. Don’t let her take that away from you. You’re part of this team now, and we’re all here to lift you up.”

With each word, you felt a warmth growing inside you, pushing back against the cold memories that had lingered for so long. “Thank you, Alexia. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“You won’t have to find out,” she smiled, her eyes sparkling. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Time passed, and you shared more of your thoughts with Alexia, feeling the tension slowly unravel. Your teammates popped in and out, offering their own words of encouragement and support, reinforcing the bond you all shared. The laughter and camaraderie filled the space, enveloping you in a sense of belonging you hadn’t felt in so long.

As the celebrations continued, the atmosphere was filled with laughter and the camaraderie that defined your team. You exchanged playful banter with your teammates, feeling lighter with every joke shared. The warmth of their acceptance surrounded you, creating a safe space where you could finally breathe freely.

You and Alexia shared a moment, sitting side by side on the bench, watching the festivities unfold. Her knee bumped against yours, and she turned to you, her expression soft and genuine. “I’m really proud of you,” she said quietly, her eyes shining. “You handled that so well. It’s not easy to confront your past, especially in front of everyone.”

You smiled at her, feeling a warmth spread in your chest. “Thank you for being here. I don’t think I would’ve made it through without you.”

She shrugged playfully, but you could see the sincerity in her eyes. “We’re a team. That means we lift each other up. You’re part of this family now.”

Mapi approached, her arms wide open. “Come here, superstar!” she called, and you couldn’t help but laugh as she pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey, hey! You’re going to squash me!” you exclaimed, feigning a struggle.

“Not until you’re ready to take on the world!” she replied with a grin. The playful energy in the room was contagious, and you found yourself laughing, genuinely enjoying the moment.

As the evening wore on, the jokes and stories continued to flow. You felt more at ease with every shared laugh, every teasing comment from your teammates. You caught snippets of their stories, of their own struggles, and realized that everyone had faced their own battles.

And with each step, you knew that this was just the beginning.

———

[a-hazbin-reader]

hey ! Loooove your x readers ! is there any chance I could request an alastor x fem reader who has nightmares ?? :o

Maybe she wakes up from nightmares repetitively, and one night just can’t stand laying awake staring at the ceiling of her room anymore , so she goes down to the lobby, and surprise, her crush alastor is sitting there reading in the semi-ish dark (with some jazz playing in the background on his staff ofc 🌚)

And maybe in his own twisted ways, comforts the reader (and maybe even reads her to sleep on the couch👀??)

Ugh, I gotta-

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: None, I think???

Description: ☝️⬆️

You awoke with a desperate cry, your body lurching forward in one last desperate attempt to escape your nightmare

You're frantically feeling yourself and the bedding around you, digging your nails into the blankets

It takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe in your bed and not stuck in your nightmare

There's tears in your eyes, and your entire body shakes as you try to reassure yourself that it was just a nightmare

Your past can't get you anymore

Your heart doesn't stop hammering in your chest no matter how hard you try to choke down your emotions

After laying in bed for awhile and failing to get back to sleep, you decide to get up and walk around the hotel

You're surprised when you get to the lobby to see someone else is awake and occupying the space

Less so surprised to see that it's Alastor awake, reading and listening to the radio in the dim light

He's totally relaxed, obviously enjoying his alone time-you don't want to intrude, you should head back to your room-

You barely make it another step before his eyes snap towards you from over his book, his relaxed smile turning into a coy grin

"Well well~ Couldn't sleep, my dear~?"

Even when you're reeling from your nightmares, his natural charm still makes you feel flustered, and your heart soaks up the attention

"Y-yeah...you could say that..."

Alastor seems to sense your unease and moves to make room on the couch next to him, a small cup of tea appearing in front of you

He doesn't comment on the blush on your face as you sit down next to him, feeling a small comfort in his warmth even with the space between you two

You're lost in thought, your nightmares replaying in your mind and making you tense when you suddenly hear Alastor speak

"A nightmare, was it? I wonder what about..."

You can't help but snap your head towards him, shocked that he read you so easily, you hadn't realized it was so obvious

"How did you know I had a nightmare?"

He hums playfully and looks at you with a knowing smile, obviously proud of himself

"Just a guess, but thank you for confirming it for me."

You can't help but roll your eyes and let out a less than ladylike snort, momentarily feeling better

He doesn't push for details and you don't give him anything more than that, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence

At some point, his arm ends up behind you, claws gently scratching the back of your neck in a way that has your entire body tingling deliciously

You don't know when your eyes close or how you end up curled against him, but you're too tired to feel embarrassed about it

You start to feel yourself falling back asleep and right back into your nightmare, forcing yourself to stay awake

Of course, you would go right back to that terror...why should you get any proper sleep?

Alastor immediately senses that you're fully awake again, able to hear your heart beating rapidly in fear, see the way you fight back tears

If he could frown then he would, why should you be afraid of anything when he's here to protect you?

Just when you go to push off him, Alastor pulls your head back to his shoulder. Not taking his eyes off of his book to save you both some dignity

You reluctantly wrap your arms around him, you tell yourself it's just because it's more comfortable that way, not because it's nice to cuddle him

He's reading to you, the sound of his voice, along with the close proximity to him making your head spin

How are you supposed to hide your feelings for him when he does stuff like this?

Luckily, your face is buried in his shoulder, so the only giveaway for your blushing would be the heat radiating from your face

You're not really even paying attention to what he's reading, slowly relaxing against him as your eyes flutter shut and you breathe in his scent

As you fall asleep, you miss the way Alastor's smile softens when he looks down at you, closing his book suddenly and resting his chin on your head

He has something much better to do with his time

He stays with you the rest of the night, soothing you while you sleep whenever you happen to whimper, cry, shake, or even frown

His hands gently stroke your cheek as he squeezes you in reassurance, doing his best not to wake you

"Hush now, my dear... You're in good hands, I won't let anything harm you."

Apparently, it works because you relax and sigh in relief each time, no longer trembling and mumbling to yourself

Part of him feels pity for you, having suffered so much that you can't even find peace in your dreams

Another part of him enjoys that he gets to be there for you right now, hoping that this will become something regular

The thought surprises him, but he likes it

You're still asleep by the time the others start waking up, Alastor pretending to be reading his book again

He shakes his head when Vaggie and Charlie move to take you to your room, worried about you waking up next to Alastor or unintentionally irritating him

They're baffled when Alastor simply puts a finger to his lips and holds you a little closer to him, using his staff to push them back

"She's had a rough night, it would do us well to let her sleep a little longer."

Nobody says anything but they all share glances that show they're thinking the same thing

W T F happened between you two last night

You're embarrassed when you wake up later, nearly falling off the couch in your haste to get away from Alastor

"Ah, you're finally awake~!"

You can feel how hot your cheeks are as you apologize to him over and over again, you're so mortified you could die

You don't let him get a word in as you back away from him, slowly walking backwards to the stairs

You've got one foot on the stairs before you suddenly hear Alastor's voice from behind you

"Do come find me again if those pesky nightmares persist, won't you?"

You look back at him in surprise, his gaze serious despite the teasing tone, you're too embarrassed to do anything more than nod

He watches you scramble up to your room with an amused expression, not wanting to admit to himself that he enjoyed being of use to you

Alastor hopes you have another nightmare soon, if only just so he can play the hero for you again

HERE MY LOVE

[plussizefantasia]

Troubled Hearts

Read parts One and Two here: Fluttering Hearts Unsure Hearts

Warnings: guy being creepy, threats of violence, drinking (not reader) we're getting into the angst here guys sorry

a/n: hi, hello, I'm alive sorry for falling off the face of the planet. When I went to go grab the link for part two I realized that I hadn't updated this story since JANUARY!?!?! here is my formal apology: sorry. My goal is to have parts four and five up sometime this month so I can be ready to jump into CozyTober when it starts. Anyway, much love I hope y'all are still interested in the story if not I understand.

Kili Durin x Human!Soulmate!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Kili must hate himself, there is no other reason for why he’s putting himself through this. Months have passed since you had kind of sort of opened up to him and he couldn’t get you to do it again. He’d been spending his nights the same way, a constant presence at the bar. No matter the weather, the dwarf prince would be posted up on a stool. He slowly sipped the same pint throughout the entire evening and his eyes followed you like a hawk. 

You would have thought that his attentions would have waned by now, you’ve been busy with the bar, Brant unable to keep up in his old age. You figure that he was letting you take control. You never really planned to set down roots in Dale, it was supposed to simply be a stop on your journey. 

You had stumbled into the town late one evening and needed a place to stay, despite the tavern not being an inn and not technically having an extra room, Brant was kind enough to let you stay for the night, as long as you worked it off the next day. One night turned into a week, turned into a month and you realized just how much you enjoyed working at the tavern.

You enjoyed feeling needed, even if it was just to refill someone’s glass. You enjoyed putting in effort and watching yourself get better at all the different skills necessary for a place like this, and you enjoyed the subtle anonymity of it all. Nobody really knew why you were there and nobody had really asked either. Your past didn’t follow you and if you were lucky it never would. You had worked hard and carved out a little life for yourself here, a life that you loved.

Well, a life that you loved most of the time. Up until those nights when every man was just a little too drunk, every woman glared just a little too much and your skin felt just a little too wrong on your body. You did your best to let it all fall off your back, to push through and let yourself be lost in your work but you didn’t always succeed.

You were not sure what hour of the night it was, it seemed that within these four walls, time flew and stood still all at once. What you did know however was that you were getting sick of Roland’s jeers and jibes. You were sure that it was his way of flirting, but you had never really ascribed to the type of flirting where you tore the other person down in the hopes that they begged you to build them back up. Roland was a dick. It was as simple as that and if he thought he had a chance with you he was sorely mistaken.

He had yet to get that through his thick skull though. You balanced a tray of pints above your head with one hand and a tray of food in the other. You expertly wove in between patrons, making your way to the back where Roland and his men often gathered.

“Ah, here she is. Lovely lady with a body to match.” He didn’t wait for you to place the tray down on the tabletop next to him. He just reached his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. His hand digging into the flesh there and making you move towards him to try and get away.

“What do you think lads? Don’t we make a pretty picture?” There were slight nods from the men around you, most of them had eyes only for the ale you were still holding. You noticed that this was often the case. Roland spoke and told stories, he was loud but nobody ever really listened to him.

“I think… that I have more work to do so if you would kindly remove your arm from my waist…” You looked at him, arching an eyebrow. “Before I have to remove it for you.” 

He chuckled deeply in his throat but followed your instruction and released you.

“Alright Gents, here are your pints and your pies, anything else for tonight?” Nobody spoke up, except for a few mutters of thanks. “Well, you know where to find me if that changes.”

You made your way back up to the front of house, sliding behind your bar and releasing a deep breath.

“I don’t understand how you do it.” You look up and into the eyes of the dwarf who just spoke.

“Do what Kili?”

“How you let him treat you like… that like you belong to him.”

You bristle at this. “I belong to nobody but myself Your Highness.”

“I know this, and you know this, but the brute doesn't seem to get it.”

“The brute is manageable Kili, he and his friends give this place far too much business for me to be anything less than civil with them.”

“Civil is fine, I just don’t wish to see you get hurt.”

“I appreciate that Kee, but I can handle myself.” 

“I never thought you couldn’t, I just want you to know that you don’t have to handle everything on your own.”

“I’ve been on my own for a long time, it's not easy to give that up.” You see a customer flag you down a few tables away. “Know this, my dwarf prince, should I need protecting… you’re the one I’d ask.” You smile at Kili and pass him offering him a small smile as you get back to work.

The night continues much the same, people come and go. The group in the back gets steadily more rowdy and you glance at the clock every once in a while hoping that the hands will have moved further than they have.

You serve food and drink to several patrons throughout the night, most kind some not as much. You were being truthful with Kili when you had told him you’d come to him. You just didn't think you’d ever need to. Your past wasn't the nicest and you’d quickly learned to take care of yourself because the people who are supposed to take care of you won’t always be there when you need them to be.

The time flew by faster than you’d thought, you’d apparently been lost inside your head for most of the night. The only light was that of the candles on each table and the fireplace next to the kitchen which was miraculously still lit. You’re not sure how, it's your job to keep it going and you know that you hadn’t stoked it all night. 

The darkness outside creeps into the space and more and more people begin their journey home. All your regulars settle with you or get glared at for their insistence that they’ll pay up next time. Eventually the space empties… mostly. Roland and his friends have settled a little but they still sit vigil in the back of the space, you lost count of how many rounds they’ve had but none of them are belligerent so it couldn’t have been more than eight. 

“Y/N, Another!” One of his comrades yells toward you. You forget his name, Roland’s never-ending cycle of yes men made it difficult to learn names, so at some point, you’d stopped trying.

“I don’t know if you Gent’s noticed, but we’re closed. Go home, I’m sure your wives are wondering where you are.”

“What the old lady doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” The same man yelled out, his remark setting off a burst of laughter from his buddies.

“Come Y/N, one more round and we’ll leave when we’re done.” Roland turned his body to face you and what you imagine to be his attempt at a suave smirk graced his face. 

“Sorry boys, but closed means closed, settle your tabs and go home.” You roll your eyes at the grumbling and whining that come from the group of grown men but do not sway in your decision. One by one they come and hand you some coin, some thank you and some say nothing but all of them leave as they were told.

Roland is the last to come up, as he so often is. “I don’t know why you spend so much time here, if you were mine you’d not have to work one more day in this place.”

“Well, I’m not yours and I like working here.” You place your hand on your hips and cock one out to the side. 

“Yet.” Roland leans over the bar and licks his lips. You lean back in order to put distance between your face and his. 

“Not ever.” You firmly reply. “I am your barmaid nothing more, the sooner you get that the sooner you can move on wooing the other ladies this wonderful town has to offer.”

“Ah, but none of these other ladies stir me as much as you do.” His grin becomes sharper and he moves even closer to you. 

The space behind the bar isn’t very large, big enough for one person really, and with how far he’s leaning you can feel your back brushing against the shelves behind you. 

“The only thing I want from you Roland is payment for your tab and for you to leave.” Your voice carried the weariness that was creeping into your heart, men like Roland rarely took no for an answer. You didn’t want to have to hurt him, it would be hard to explain. 

“Such harsh words darling, I promise I’m not nearly as bad as you think I am.” He reached forward and grasped your wrist. You pulled away instinctively and his grip hardened. “I think you might even like it.” Your face screwed up and you bared your teeth ready to rip out of his hold.

“Get your hand off her.”

Your head whipped to the voice. Kili. Why was he still here? How long had he been here? How much had he seen?

“Piss off runt, this is between me and the lady.” Roland didn’t move his eyes away from you.

“Remove your hand from my One or lose it, you oaf.” Kili growled from the corner of the room. The sharp sound of metal reverberated from the space and if you thought the rage on Kili’s face was intense, it was even more striking with a sword in his grip.

Both you and Roland were looking at the dwarf now. Your lips had parted and your eyes widened. Not only because you were sure blood would be spilled tonight but because of what Kili said. A thousand thoughts ran through your head all in the same second. You had to shake yourself back to the present.

Roland’s grip on your wrist slacked a bit and you took the opportunity to bring your arm to your chest. Your eyes bounced between the two men. You looked around behind the counter, searching desperately for something you could use. You let out a breath when you caught sight of the wooden handle resting on top of a wet rag.

“Pay the lady and leave, like she asked.” Kili took a step closer to the brute his posture reminding you of a coiled snake, muscles tight underneath his skin and ready to strike. 

“I do not take orders from dwarves.” Roland’s voice had deepened, his frustration bleeding through into every syllable. His hand reached out towards the axe holstered on his belt.

“You will either leave here with your dignity, or you will not leave at all. That I can be sure of.”

“Mighty words for an imp.” Roland pulled his axe from his belt and took a step towards Kili. As much as you might like to see the two fight, and you really did.  You needed to stop this before it started. 

You grasped the knife that had been lying on the towel and firmly drove it into the counter in front of you. The noise stopped both men in their tracks and they turned their heads to you, not yet dropping their battle stances.

“Enough. I will not be cleaning any blood off these walls tonight. Roland, you're drunk and daft-  a combination no woman in her right mind would want. Leave and don’t show your face here again. There are plenty of other places to drink, choose one.” You look into his eyes as you rip the knife from the wood, pointing it towards him and gesturing towards the door. 

He grumbles but holsters his axe and begins to leave.

“Oaf, you forget something?” Kili called out to him. You cut your eyes to the dark-haired prince narrowing your gaze on him. “Or are you the type of man to run out on his debt?” 

Roland turns slowly and his hand flexes by his side. He takes a large breath before grabbing a small leather bundle from his coat pocket and throwing it up on the counter. Kili smirks and nods his head. 

Roland lets out a low growl but continues on his path, pushing past the doors and onto the street. You don’t move until he turns the corner. At which point you deflate. Your head falls forward like a puppet without strings and you take a deep breath to soothe your racing heart.

“What was that?” Your question, head still bowed.

“What?” Kili takes a step toward you and you shoot up.

“What was that Kili!?” Your chest heaves with every breath you take. “I had it handled, I don’t need you coming in here and threatening people!”

“He put his hands on you!” Kili shouts.

“So you pull your sword?! I do not need a bodyguard Kili let alone one with a temper as bad as yours.” You throw your hand up and drag one across your forehead. “Know this, Your Highness, I have no intention of being claimed by you.” Kili’s eyes grow wide and he opens his mouth to speak, “Do not think I don’t know what a One is, I have traveled these lands for a very long time.” You interrupt him. “I have been claimed by far too many men far too many times, I told you, I belong to nobody but myself now. Do you understand?” You look into his eyes, waiting for a response.

“I have no intention of claiming you, I simply wish to share my life with you.” 

“That is very sweet Kili, but you don’t me. You cannot possibly wish to spend your life with me.”

“Then let me get to know you.” He pleads, “I have never felt like this before.” He takes several steps towards you, pulling your hand into his own and looking up into your eyes. “They say that being with your One is the greatest joy a dwarrow can know. I have had a taste now, being in your space, speaking with you, hearing your laugh, and seeing you smile. It has made me feel more alive than any battle and made my heart more full than it has ever been. I will not force you into anything, I care for you too much for that but I will plead with you. Please amralime, give me a chance to make you as happy as you make me. Let me stay by your side and know you not just as a friend but as a partner, through all things.”

His words steal the breath from your lungs and the beat from your heart. They make you feel like you're flying and sinking all at the same time. There is a part of you, deep down that is screaming for you to give in, to let him love you. 

“Kili I-” You pause, “I am tired. Tired of a great many things. I-I I think you should go.” You turn from him and blink back the tears that flood your eyes. You hear him sigh followed by the creek of the floorboard he stands on as he shifts his weight. He does not speak though, simply drops his arm from where it had been holding your hand and makes his way to the door. 

You hear it open and your shoulders tense, the chill air floods into the room and nips at your skin. Then the door shuts and you're alone. Not for the first time, you question if this really is all for the best.

taglist: @bunnybabe-babydoll @kokochanel111 @shiinata-library @oneiratxxia10 @targaryenteam @sunnysidesidra @shadowrose13-blog1-blog1

[kesujo]

Other Plans - Part 2 of 3

Link to part 1 here.

The face that greeted us surprised me. It was Tiffany, my date from a few days ago. "Hey Jessi!" she greeted her friend happily, hugging her tightly. "And--" she paused when she looked at me. She immediately turned red, but smiled at me anyways.

I smiled back to her, causing her to turn more red. "Hey Tiffany," I said awkwardly. Why would she be here? Was Jessi just pulling a prank on me all along, and just lead me to Tiffany's apartment? Was Tiffany here for the same reason we were?

Noticing my confused expression, Jessi explained. "Tiffany here is the director." I turned a bit pale. Yet another innocent image I had of someone was instantly shattered. But Jessi wasn't finished yet. "She was just hired last week, which is how I was able to reserve the spot; she took the job only because she was desperate for money, not because she liked--"

"Oh," I cut her off, not wanting to hear more than I needed to. And, after noticing Tiffany blush even more, that it was good I cut her off.

"S-So, you guys will be having lunch w-with Taeyeon," she told us, stuttering, face still red. "This is so you guys c-can get accompanied with each other," she continued. I smiled at her stuttering; she had done this during our 'date', and I still found this cute.

She then turned around, a bit quickly, and led us into a room with a low table filled with several delicious looking food; the smell teased my nose, making my stomach growl. The fact that I didn't have breakfast didn't help either.

Already sitting on a cushion was a woman with flawless skin; it seemed to glow from how pure it looked. She had silky golden hair, which seemed almost as soft as Jessi's, that seemed to flow down past her shoulders. She had black eyes that seemed big, for some reason, which combined with her slim nose and thin lips, made her look even cuter. Her facial features clearly distinguished her as Asian. She looked no more than 16, but Jessi had already told me that she was in her twenties, which I found hard to believe. Her thin, but slightly muscular arms were resting on the table, still maintaining her perfectly white skin color; her fingernails were painted a sparkling gray. No matter how I looked at it, I couldn't imagine how she could be experienced with having sex.

She wore a pleasant smile as we were sitting down. "Hi, I'm Taeyeon," she greeted us. "So, you must be Alex," she said, looking at me in the eye. I nodded, smiling back. Then, her eyes traveled downward swiftly before moving to Jessi. "And you must be Jessica?" Did she just check me out? I thought as I sat down on the cushion provided for me.

"Yeah! Nice to meet you, Taeyeon!" she chirped happily, extending a hand, which Taeyeon shook.

"So, dig in, I guess," she told us, picking up her chopsticks and starting to eat. We followed suit; I tried my hardest not to just devour everything on the table as fast as I could. Jessi didn't have this problem, since she basically was never hungry, which was why she's so skinny in the first place. "So, there will be two scenes," she told us. "The first one will involve Alex playing as the teacher, and Jessica and me playing the students with bad grades. We approach him to try to persuade him to raise our grades, but he doesn't budge; so, we make our move, if you know what I mean," she said. Her eyes showed the same mischievousness Jessi had shown earlier, causing me to stop eating momentarily. "And the other scene," she continued, looking away from me, "is where Jessica--can I call you Sica?" she suddenly stopped herself, looking at Jessi.

“Sure!" Jessica quickly chirped in response.

Taeyeon nodded. "Ok, so the idea of this scene is that Sica is Alex's girlfriend, and she has been sex deprived since Alex has been working so much," Jessi looked at me with raised eyebrows, seeming to tell me ‘as expected’. I stuck my tongue out at her. "So Sica called her friend, me, to try to help with her problem: so, I handcuff Sica to a bed with various sex toys attached to her a little before Alex comes home. When he does come home, he'll notice his girlfriend in this state and fumble to take off the toys. Extremely turned on at this point, Sica starts to strip Alex, and soon after, I join," she explained calmly, eating in between her explanation.

The thing I wanted to know was how both Taeyeon and Jessi be so calm about this. I guess Taeyeon being calm is no big deal because of her experience, but Jessi's calmness was unnerving. After a brief moment of silence, Jessi initiated conversation, and we started talking normally until nothing was left on the table.

When we finished, Taeyeon led us outside and to another room. The room was already set up, and looked, uncannily, like the average high school classroom, with neatly set up desks and cheeky, motivational posters plastered around the room. On the front desk where three sets of clothes. Looking around the room, I could see many lenses. Even though the fact that I was actually about to do this made me uneasy, I was a bit relieved that there were no camera men/women; or any that we could see.

Taeyeon walked to the desk and began stripping right away. "Wait--" I exclaimed, averting my eyes.

"We're going to see each other naked eventually, might as well now then later," she said, cutting me off. I continued to hear the sound of clothes coming off, followed shortly by the sound of footsteps.

"Come on Jinnie, we need to change!" I heard Jessi say. I reluctantly walked to the desk and grabbed my uniform. Luckily, Taeyeon had already changed. Unluckily, it was the skimpiest outfit ever: the skirt showed basically all of her legs, not to mention the top having an extremely low cut. For some reason, I couldn't peel my eyes off her until I caught her staring at me with a sly grin. I focused on the task at hand, changing into my uniform as quickly as possible.

The new outfit was pretty comfortable. I was wearing a white and blue plaid shirt, a brown suit on top of that, and brown khakis. "Remember, just keep calm until I pull your tie, ok?" Taeyeon told me, exiting the room. We were supposed to start off with them two walking in, me looking at some papers.

"Ok," I told her. While they were walking out, my eyes caught on to their asses. I never noticed how round, soft, and squishy...

The door closed. I snapped out of it, looking down papers on the desk. I was surprised to find words on it. It was a paper on String Theory; intrigued, I began reading it, figuring that reading it would get me into the role even more. The door opened; I looked up from my paper and saw them walking towards me. "Is there anything I can help you ladies with?"

"Yeah," they said simultaneously, walking up to the desk. I tried hard not to be distracted by the low neckline of the school uniform. "Our grades have not been doing too well recently, and we were wondering if there was anything we could do about it," Taeyeon continued, leaning down to give me a better view of her cleavage.

Remembering my role, I instead looked her in the eye. "Well, you could do the extra credit I gave out," I suggested.

This time Jessi leaned down, frowning. "But that's too hard..." she whined, squeezing her breasts together suggestively. I, with much difficulty, kept my poker face on.

"I don't think you understand," Taeyeon continued for her, leaning forward. I gulped softly at the amount of cleavage I was seeing. "We would do anything," she said, running her finger along my jaw. "Anything," she whispered again in my ear.

I grinned at her. "Would you..." I trailed off, removing her finger, leaning forward. I could feel her start to grin. "...study?" I finished.

She straightened up, frowning. "Mr. Han," Jessi said in place of Taeyeon's silence, pulling her uniform's neckline down, giving me more of a view of her breasts. I swallowed, but kept my poker face. "You are looking exceptionally attractive today," she told me.

I gave her a genuine smile. "Thank you, Ms. Jung."

She lifted herself up to seat herself on the desk. "Actually," she said, scooting closer to me. "You look," she leaned in, placing her mouth next to my other ear. "Sexy," she breathed into my ear.

I strained to keep a straight face. "I appreciate the compliment, Ms. Jung, but flattering me won't bring your grade up," I told her. She frowned and got off the desk, standing next to me. I noticed that on my right, Taeyeon was also standing next to me.

"Come on, Mr. Han," Taeyeon whined, placing her hand on my chest. I scooted my chair back, but she followed me. "I'm sure we can make you think otherwise," she said, sitting on my leg. I shuddered as I could feel her wetness seeping through her panties and my pants. She pulled on my tie and captured my lips. Recognizing this signal, I responded to her kiss, grabbing her and stood up, pushing her against the wall, not breaking the kiss.

"Maybe you can," I growled at her, finally able to release my building sexual tension. After I broke the kiss, I pulled off her skirt and her panties in one swipe. I threw the two items of clothing behind me, then put my knee in between her legs, rubbing her inner thigh with it.

"Ng, Mr. Han..." she moaned, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall. I pulled off her uniform top, diving in to capture her right breast. I caught her nipple with my tongue and began to flick it. "Mmm," she hummed with pleasure, pushing my head into her breast even more.

Her hands found my pants and my boxers and pulled them both down, using her legs to push them the rest of the way. I kicked the pool of clothes that had land on my feet backward, hearing them land somewhere behind me and continued to massage her inner thigh with my knee. "Oooh, Mr. Han," she moaned. "You're soo good..." she said as she grinded against my knee.

I took my mouth off her breast, using my right hand in place of it as I moved up to capture her lips. Moaning, she eagerly responded to my kiss, moving in sync with me. When I broke away for air, Taeyeon pulled off my suit and plaid shirt in one upward motion, throwing it somewhere in the room. I started to kiss her again, but felt something soft pressing against my back, and right after that, a warm mouth nipping my neck. Jessi had slipped her hand in between us and started tracing my abs, making me shiver.

Deciding to use my fingers, I snaked my hand down south on both of them. Jessi, on the other hand, slid her legs in between Taeyeon and me, trapping my legs behind her and causing our hips to align. As soon as she achieved this, she started humping me. "Unf," I groaned, also being pushed into Taeyeon, who also moaned. I lowered my right hand down to Taeyeon's legs while using my left arm to reach back and slide up Jessi's legs.

They both moaned; I could feel them start to shiver in delight. I stopped millimeters before reaching their pussies, rubbing the smooth, and already slightly wet with pre-cum, skin. "Ng!" the both moaned, bucking downwards. I had anticipated this motion and retreated my hand before they could achieve the contact they so desired. I put my fingers in their original position afterwards and continued the rub the skin, simultaneously lubricating my fingers with their pre-cum. Then, I made sure to put my leg in between each other their legs, in case they tried something.

Which Jessi did, but I had already put my leg in place. Letting out a frustrated groan, she bucked again, but I retreated my finger. Right after though, Taeyeon did the same, almost catching me off guard.

I broke off the kiss from her, in need of oxygen. Instead of kissing her again, I bent my head down and captured her left nipple in my mouth. "Ng!" she moaned, bucking once again, only to have me retreat my fingers temporarily. Soon after, I heard kissing sounds: Taeyeon and Jessi had started to kiss each other.

Extremely turned on by this, I moved two fingers each onto their pussy lips, running my finger up and down the slit. "Hng!" they moaned, muted by each other's mouths as they simultaneously bucking into my fingers, but to no avail.

This happened several more times, until they broke apart, in need of oxygen. "Mr. Han, please," Jessi breathed, resting her head on my shoulder and trying to close her legs once again, but was blocked by my leg.

I let go of Taeyeon's breast. "Please what?" I asked, poking my finger in teasingly. They both bucked again, but I pulled back in time.

"Fuck..." she moaned.

"Ah ah, no swearing in the classroom please," I told her, smirking. "Now, what is it that you wanted?"

"Finger in pussy," Jessi said brokenly, head on my chest, breathing hard.

"Hmm?" I asked again, flicking both of their clits. Taeyeon moaned loudly, while Jessi swore loudly again.

"PUT YOUR FUCKING FINGERS INTO MY SOPPING WET PUSSY," Jessi screamed. I happily obliged, taking three fingers and plunging them into the hole. "UNF!" she moaned, bucking her hips to bring my fingers into her more.

"See, was it that hard?" I asked, now facing Taeyeon as I continued to pump my three digits inside of Jessi. I felt her bite into my neck, but my hormones had me so horny that I ignored it.

"I-I won't beg," Taeyeon said, voice sounding very much like a helpless high school student. I couldn't help but think how good of an actor she was, even in this situation.

"Won't you?" I asked, accepting her challenge. The look of fear shone in her eyes; I'm not sure if it was real or acting, but it turned me on so much that I almost plunged my fingers in right there. Luckily, I held back.

I leaned in to kiss her again, fingers tracing her slit once again. Up, down, up, down, flick. And with each flick, Taeyeon would buck, but meet nothing. I grinned every time this happened and continued to tease her. I felt her desperation grow with every failed attempt.

Feeling her almost give in, I broke away from the kiss and captured her nipple with my mouth, sucking on it lightly. "Ng," she moaned, but still didn't utter a word. I tried again, but gave it a little bite, while brushing her clit simultaneously. She violently bucked into my fingers, but yet again met nothing. "Pl-Pleasee..." she moaned softly, finally giving in.

"Please...?" I asked, nipping her nipple again. She moaned, but didn't say anything. I stuck my finger in teasingly, but pulled it out just as quick and avoided her buck into my finger.

"Fuck," she swore when she missed.

"Please what?" I asked again, running my fingers up and down her slit. I flicked the nipple with my tongue while pinching her clit. "PLEASE PUT YOUR FUCKING FINGERS INTO MY FUCKING TIGHT PUSSY," she screamed, giving in. Now satisfied, I took three fingers and put them into her. She screamed in ecstasy, bucking violently into my fingers. Her fast pace made me increase the pace for Jessi too.

"Hng," she moaned, easily matching pace. "More..." she begged, breathing raggedly. She had started to rub her breasts on my back desperately. I could feel she was close, so I decided to obey her and add a fourth finger. "Ng!" she moaned, her tight walls trying to accommodate for them. I used my thumb to press on her clit, making her moan loudly again. After the fourth finger finally got in, I started to increase the pace while rubbing her clit. "M-Mister Han," she breathed, obviously close. "Mis-Mister--AHN!" she screamed, releasing a rush of warm liquid onto my fingers.

"Mister Han," Taeyeon whispered. "More, please," she begged me as well. I complied, adding a fourth finger inside her as well. It slipped in with almost no resistance. I started to increase the pace for her as well, using my thumb to make circles around her clit. "HHNnn..." she moaned, also matching my pace easily.

Jessi, meanwhile, was bucking into my fingers again, so I started pumping inside her, eliciting a satisfied moan.

"Uhnn, you're so good Mr. Han," Taeyeon moaned, starting to rub her breasts against my chest. Turned on by this, I started to increase my pace for both Taeyeon and Jessi, my thumb more aggressively rubbing their clits. Jessi jumped when I did this, releasing the pain by biting into my neck; however, my hormones once again nullified this pain. I heard their panting quicken, as their moans became more frequent and drawn out.

"Mis-Mister Han," I heard Taeyeon moan. "I-I'm close..." she panted, bringing her hands up to play with her own breasts. At this time, I pulled my fingers out of both of them, soaking wet with their sticky bodily fluids, grabbed both of Taeyeon's arms and trapping them in between her stomach and my hand while grabbing Jessi from behind me and pinning her on the wall next to me, also trapping her arms on her stomach. They both groaned in frustration and fought against my grip, but I didn't budge.

"Now, who wants the extra boost more?" I asked them. They were still squirming against my hold, trying to break free to relieve themselves. "If either one of you can prove that you need the boost more, I can--" and was immediately cut off by both of them barraging me with seductive compliments and looks, as well as pleads, promises, and even some aegyo via Taeyeon. Which I had to admit was pretty cute, despite everything.

"Hmm," I stepped towards them, immediately shutting them up. I first stepped towards Taeyeon, who looked at me eagerly. I smiled at her and moved onto Jessi, who also looked at me, looking like she was expecting something. "How about this," I said. "You guys have sex with each other, and the one who impresses me the most gets to be fucked by me," I offered them. They nodded eagerly, preemptively struggling against my hold. I grinned and released my hold.

What they did surprised me. Instead of going for each other, they both jumped on me, as if they had telepathically agreed on this, pinning me to the desk. Taeyeon crawled on top of me, my whole upper body resting on the desk with Jessi working on my lower body, taking my shaft into her mouth. "Ung," I moaned as Taeyeon's breasts were pressed against my face. I took them into my mouth, hearing her moan. I worked my way around it, trying to lick every inch of the smooth skin when Taeyeon suddenly grabbed my hands and straightened my fingers, pulling them down to her legs before shoving them inside.

"Oooohh," she moaned lustfully, pumping my hand in and out of her, effectively masturbating with my hand. Pressure began to build up inside my stomach again as Jessi continued to swirl her tongue around my shaft skillfully, occasionally sucking on my hard cock, causing me to groan and buck into her mouth. She would gag for a while, but would continue. "M-Mis-Mister Han..." she moaned, using my thumb to press on her clit. She spazzed at the contact, pushing me harder onto the desk. "Oh ... I'm close ..." she moaned, adding her own fingers along with my four, increasing her pace. I continued to suckle on her breast, only able to breathe through a narrow slit between her breast and my nose. "Uunn..." her breathing quickened; "uuunn," I flicked her nipple a few times; "uuunnn" she added another finger, increasing the pace even further. "AHNNG!" she screamed, spazzing against my body as my fingers felt a seemingly unending flood of sticky fluid, which dripped onto my arm.

She took her hand out and sucked her cum off her hand, looking at me seductively. "Ug," I moaned, bucking into Jessi's mouth again as she sucked on my shaft. I could begin to feel the pressure become unbearable.

Taeyeon next took my arm out and, while staring at me, licked the cum off my arm. She then pressed my hand to my lips, suggesting that I lick the rest off, and found out that her cum was slightly sweeter than Jessi's. "Jess--" but stopped when Jess's mouth left my cock.

"Hold him still," Jessi told Taeyeon. Before I could ask, Taeyeon's legs held my hips in place. I groaned at the loss of contact, the pressure built up about to explode.

Soon after though, I felt her legs come in contact with my cock. She began to use it to run it over her pussy lips, causing her to moan incessantly. I can see why she told Taeyeon to hold me, as I had tried to buck into her, desperate for release. "Ah ah," Taeyeon smirked at me. "You have to listen to your students sometimes," she told me.

I groaned and leaned back against the desk, trying to control myself. However, the teasing didn't last long as Jessi herself got impatient, and without warning, shoved her pussy onto the full length of my cock. "Ung," I moaned, the warm walls of her vagina wrapping around my stiff shaft, seeming to pull it in more.

"Hnn," Jessi moaned, starting to pull away and push, increasing intensity and speed with every thrust. "Mister..." she breathed out, wrapping her legs around mine to increase leverage. "Han..." she started to pound into me with more intensity. "Uh...so good..." I felt the walls around my cock gradually get tighter, but Jessi easily compensated, and more, with the force she put behind each thrust.

The pressure in my stomach started to expand again, increasing with each thrust. I could also feel that Jessi was close from the increase of her panting and her constant moaning, not that I wasn't doing the same.

Taeyeon impatiently held my head and brought it up to her face, pouring all her lust into a kiss. I moaned into the kiss, about to explode. I tried to mumble a warning, but was muffled with Taeyeon's mouth. "Mister Han, I-I'm going to--AHH!" she screamed, shaking a bit, releasing a torrent of warmness onto my cock. A split second after she came, I followed suit, body vibrating against Taeyeon's.

Taeyeon got off me and cleaned us up; but I had other plans.

I grabbed Taeyeon by her shoulders and pinned her against the wall. "You've been a naughty girl," I growled at her, kneading her breast while using my knee to rub her thigh. She let out a throaty moan, leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes. "You need to be punished."

"Please punish me," she begged, eyes clouded with lust and excitement. I could feel a warm liquid start to coat my knee as I continued to move up. I grinned and picked her up, carrying her bridal style to the nearest pile of clothing. I picked up the shirt that lay on the ground and ripped it into pieces, quickly making six strips of cloth. I then used those pieces to tie her legs and her upper thighs to the legs of the chair, easily exposing her pussy. I used the other two to tie her hands behind her back and the last one as a blindfold. "Hey--" I cut her off with a kiss, which she eagerly received. Just as she moved in to deepen it, I pulled away.

"Wait a moment," I whispered to her and then moved away.

Jessi, observing all of this, was masturbating, desperately pumping her fingers in her pussy, her free hand playing with her nipple. I quickly grabbed her wrists, causing her to whine in frustration, and brought her to the desk right next to Taeyeon. "You," I said to her, almost growling, pushing her against the desk and leaning my forehead into hers. "You deserve to be punished more." Her only response was an eager nod, her eyes shut tightly, mouth slightly open. I was tempted to just ditch my plan and fuck her right there, but I resisted. Instead, I poked my finger up, momentarily touching the sticky liquid that coated the pink muscle.

"Ung," she moaned, bucking down, but I already retreated my finger. "Pl--Please..."

"Ah ah," I said, grabbing the uniform I had thrown laying on the ground before stepping forward to use my hips to trap her. I also ripped that shirt into six pieces. "Remember, your punishment?" I let go, quickly tying a piece of cloth around her eyes and around her wrists first, trapping them behind her. She whined in protest, but I moved down to her legs and tied four pieces of cloth there as well. "Now, was there something you wanted to say?" I looked at her. She stubbornly shook her head, closing her mouth tightly, telling me that she wasn't going to beg.

Grinning, I accepted the challenge. I moved forward, facing upward so her shiny wet pussy was directly in front of me. I leaned in and blew cold air onto the slit. "Hnng!" she moaned, bucking down, but failed as a result of my makeshift bindings. I merely waited a while before blowing more cold air. She cursed and struggled against the bindings, but to no avail. "Fuck..." struggling against her handcuffs.

"Are you sure you have nothing to say?" I tempted. I backed up and looked at her, but she was still keeping her mouth shut. I shrugged and got up to walk away, but suddenly had an idea. I looked on the ground and picked up the skirt, tearing it up into three pieces. I tied two pieces extremely high up on her thigh, and used it as a hook for the third piece, which hovered right below her pussy lips, barely brushing the sensitive muscle.

"NG!" she violently struggled with her bindings, clearly frustrated, but the knot I used proved to be too resilient. The commotion caused Taeyeon to struggle as well, clearly curious as to what was happening. "Please!" she screamed, but I was already moving away from her. Hearing this, she violently struggled uselessly a few more times before calming herself down a little.

"What--" Taeyeon began to ask in a strained voice, but was cut off when I placed my lips on hers. She happily received the kiss, seeming to sigh in relief.

I held her face with my hands, leaning my face down deepening the kiss. She moaned and eagerly accepted it, giving me complete dominance. I began to move my hand down: past her chin, her neck, her collarbone, and finally, her supple breasts. I felt her shudder as I slowly moved a finger across the sensitive skin, giving the nipple a teasing flick. She moaned into my mouth again, shuddering a little. I continued to slide my hand down her smooth skin, and when it finally reached her leg, I took a step closer and pressed my chest against hers, eliciting another moan. I rested that hand on her thigh, other hand still on her face, and started to rub my cock on her thigh. "Nnnn," she moaned, shuddering in anticipation.

Deciding to tease her further, I slid my left hand back up to her breasts, palming the nipple and the areola around it. She arched her back, desperate for more contact. "M..Mister…H-Han…” she moaned into my mouth. I separated our mouths and latched onto her right breast. "Unn," she moaned again, arching her back even more. I could hear Jessica start to get restless, the desk shaking slightly. I grinned in satisfaction.

At the same time, I slowly moved my cock upwards, tracing circles on her legs. She began to shudder uncontrollably in anticipation, moaning every time I moved up a centimeter.

I pinched her left nipple and bit her right one, causing her to scream and struggle against the bindings once again. I could hear Jessi cursing and doing the same, but only to quiet down a little later.

"Mister Han, pleaase," she moaned, surprising me a bit. I was still a good 2 inches away, but then again, the sticky bodily fluid had already traveled that down far her leg. I ignored her and continued to inch forward, millimeters at a time. Growing impatient, her attempts to solve her problem only resulted in the sound of the desk rattling. I started to knead her breasts, rolling the skin with my knuckles. She let out a throaty moan, arching her back once again to achieve maximum contact. I used my teeth to nip at the soft skin under my mouth, causing a small wave of pre cum to flow onto my cock. "Mister Han," she moaned.

I released her breast, causing her to whine. "Yes?" I asked, looking at her expectantly.

"Pleaasseee," she moaned as I pinched her nipple again.

"Please what?"

"Put your hard cock into my soaking wet pussy."

The harsh words were the only thing I needed as I covered the rest of the space in an instant, ramming my cock into her pussy. "UN!" she screamed, throwing her head back in ecstasy. "Yes! Oh god, yes," she panted as I began to pump inside her at a fast pace. The desk next to us began to rattle once again, signifying Jessi's restlessness.

"Fuck..." I heard her swear, followed by another set of violent rattling. I grinned, satisfied of how well my plan was working.

I leaned into Taeyeon's face, kissing her, hard. She moaned, but eagerly opened her mouth to allow me entrance, which I immediately took. I rammed my tongue in, licking every inch of her mouth, making sure I left nothing undiscovered. After coming away for the need of oxygen, I moved my mouth to her ear. "Who's my bitch?" I growled at her, another more lustful personality taking over me.

"Oh god..." she moaned, grinding against my cock, hard.

"Who's my bitch?" I repeated in a low voice.

"I-I am," she said softly, voice very in line of that of a helpless high school student.

"Who?" I shoved my cock further into her, ramming her pussy even harder than before.

"Fuck!" she screamed, tongue almost sticking out at how fast she was panting. "I-I am!" she screamed. Jessi swore loudly and rattled even more.

I deliberately slowed down the pace, despite the building tension in my stomach region. Sensing this right away, she whined and caused the desk to rattle again. "You're a slut, aren't you?" I growled at her, forcing myself to keep my pace painstakingly slow.

She didn't respond, filling the room with the sound of rattling. I slid my hand down and pressed against her clit, hard. She screamed, trying to muffle herself against my shoulder. "Yes," she moaned.

"Yes what?" I prompted.

"I'm a slut. I'm your slut," she panted.

"And what do you want me to do?"

"Fuck me as fast and as hard as you can," she seemed to plead

I grinned. "With pleasure," I told her, increasing my pace in an instant, ramming her pussy so hard that I was making the desk shake.

"UNG! FUCK! YES!" she screamed with every thrust. More rattling from next to me. "OH GOD YES! UNG, FUCK..." she moaned loudly. "I'M GOING TO--" sensing her climax, I immediately pulled out. "Fuck," she whined, violently bucking, causing the desk to shake. "Mister Han, please," she begged me. "Please fuck me with your big hard cock," she pleaded, mouth open, tongue slightly sticking out, upper body now upright. She shook her chest, causing her boobs to jiggle. As delicious as it looked, I resisted.

"Your punishment," I reminded her, then leaned in tentatively, "is to listen to me as I punish Jessi now," I whispered, pulling back just as she tried to dart sideways with her mouth.

"No..." she moaned as I started to walk away. I turned back to look at her; her nipples were still fully erect, her tongue was back in her mouth, but her breasts heaved with every big breath she took. Her legs her shining with her own cum, pussy lips parted, convulsing as if it was begging me to finish her off. "Please teacher..." she begged me in a voice still laced with lust.

"Patience is a virtue," I reminded her, finally arriving in front of Jessi. "Jessi over here has learned it the hard way."

Hearing my voice so close, she immediately jerked her head up. "J-teacher?" I answered by putting my hands on her hips. This motion itself caused Jessi to violently buck forwards. "Ung, please," she moaned.

Was she really this horny already? "You've waited patiently," I breathed into her ear. I could feel her shuddering at the proximity. "Now you'll get your reward," I told her. She sighed a breath of relief, but let out a frustrated whine as I started to trace her hipbone. "But you'll get it slowly," I told her, grinning mischievously now.

"No, please," she begged. "Mister Han, please just fuck me already." She sounded desperate.

I continued to trace her hipbone, causing her to shudder uncontrollably, occasionally bucking forward in an attempt to receive contact. I hovered my mouth right over her breasts, breathing hot air onto it. Whenever she arched her back, I retreated and continued breathing air onto it. "Fuck..." she groaned after the umpteenth time of failing to receive contact.

"Now, what was that thing that you wanted again?" I prompted, pushing the cloth hovering right below her pussy a little further up. Her breath hitched.

"F-Fuck me," she moaned.

"We'll get to that soon," I promised her. "But first, beg."

I was surprised when I saw her shake her head. "No?" she shook her head again. "Well, you asked for it," I told her, moving my hand down to her thighs. She shuddered violently when my fingers landed on the smooth skin. I bent down and removed the hanging piece of cloth; she sighed in relief, probably thinking that she was finally able to escape that torture.

I began to draw random shapes on her legs, only barely touching it; meanwhile, I blew cold air onto the glistening pink muscle. "Fuck!" she screamed, shaking the desk violently. It didn't budge.

"You can start begging at any time," I reminded her. After a moment of silence, I moved my fingers a bit further up and blew cold air onto the slit again.

"Fuck!" she screamed again, shaking the desk violently, yet again. "I can't..."

I moved my fingers and my face a bit closer. I could feel the heat radiating off her pussy, tickling my nose. I placed the rest of my hand on her legs and started to blow a steady stream of cold air onto her parted pussy lips.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck" she moaned, desperately struggling against her bindings. "Pl-" she started, but cut herself off.

Determined, I got off my knees and removed my right hand from her leg, cupping it right below the source of heat. I latched my mouth in the middle of her lustrous breasts and gave it a long lick, pressing the nipple down along the way. "Fuck!" she screamed again, arching her back as far as it could go, but only meeting empty air. "Please," she moaned softly.

My ears perked up. "Please what?"

"Don't make me say more," she begged, but I intended on her doing exactly that.

I brought my other hand up, simultaneously giving her breast another long, hard lick while pinching her nipple with the other.

"FUCK! PLEASE, FUCK MY ACHING SOPPING WET PUSSY WITH YOUR FUCKING ROCK HARD COCK," she screamed, almost blasting out my eardrums. I heard the desk shake next to me, followed by a hissing noise of some sort.

"Who's my slut?" I breathed into her ear, wondering how far I could get her to go.

"ME," she screamed desperately. "PLEASE, JUST FUCK ME ALREADY."

I grinned and nodded, deciding I tortured her long enough. I plunged my cock into her pussy, which slid in easily due to the excess amount of lubricant already there. "UNG YES! OH FUCK YES!" she screamed. Her walls pulsated around my cock, as if it was as eager to accept me as Jessi was. "OH MY GOD FUCK YES OH GOD," she screamed as I continued to thrust into her. Feeling my eardrums about to burst, I covered her mouth with mine. This only muffled her screams as she continued to shake in pleasure.

My left hand started to massage her breast, kneading it like it was dough, while my other hand circled around behind her and landed on her clit. Her scream, luckily, was muffle by my mouth, but even then, it didn't help much.

"MPH, MPH, MPH," she moaned with every thrust, the desk beginning to shake each time I thrusted into her. "MMMMPH!" she moaned into my mouth. Luckily, I caught the meaning and began to thrust faster until finally, she screamed one last time before meeting my cock with a huge, much delayed wave of cum.

She shuddered violently against my body for about five seconds before calming down and resting against my chest. However, my own hormones weren't satisfied, so right when that happened, I began pumping again. "Ung," she moaned softly. "Oh god..." she began sucking on my neck, breasts still pressed against my chest. I used my finger to stimulate her clit again, eliciting another drawn out moan.

I felt myself getting close, so in need of release, I started pumping fast again. "Ung...UN...UNG..." she panted, moans getting louder with each thrust. I felt my lower area clench. "I'm going to--" but I was unable to finish, as right as I started talking, I released a torrent of cum into her.

After releasing all my bodily fluid into her, I stopped to rest for a while before taking my cock out. "Nnn," she moaned in longing. "Don't..." she panted, trying to buck down, but missing. "Please..."

"I'll be right with you," I told her, going over to Taeyeon.

Taeyeon, hearing me come closer, immediately straightened her body. "Miss me?" I whispered to her, rubbing her inner thigh.

"Mmm," she moaned in pleasure, tilting her head back in pleasure. I placed my other hand on her other thigh, running them down to undo her bindings. I made sure to only loosen them, then release them with my feet so she couldn't take advantage of me, which she immediately tried to do by attempting to wrap her legs around my waist. I let her do it, leaning in slightly to undo her handcuffs. "Mmm," she hummed again in pleasure as my cock pushed slightly into her already wet pussy.

After undoing the makeshift handcuffs, I undid the blindfold. She squinted a bit, eyes dilating at the sudden amount of light. After she adjusted and looked at me, I pushed my cock slightly into her experimentally, making sure to hold onto her hips. Her eyes rolled back in pleasure. "Umph," she moaned, trying to buck into my cock, but my hands holding her hips in place.

"Be patient," I told her, grinning as her eyes grew darker with lust.

I carried her and placed her down in front of Jessi, who was trying to find something to rub against her pussy. "So, the plan is that I fuck you doggy style while you eat out Jessi's pussy," I told Taeyeon, but loudly enough so Jessi could hear.

When she heard this, she began squirming in anticipation. "Un, please..." she begged us, her excess movement causing the desk to shake. I felt Taeyeon also shudder in anticipation.

I placed her down on all fours, placing my hands on her hips, and pushed her forward enough so she could easily look up and tongue Jessi. "You'll have to start tonguing Jessi before you get fucked," I told her, causing her to eagerly meet Jessi's pussy lips with her own lips.

"Unf," Jessi moaned loudly, the desk shaking loudly. I watched the incredibly sexy scene in front of my eyes, feeling my cock get harder as I got more and more turned on by it. Just the sight of Taeyeon's face buried between Jessi's legs caused my stomach to churn with so much excitement that before long, I grew impatient and plunged my cock into Taeyeon, eliciting a muffled moan.

I moved my hands to grope her breasts, leaning forward and lightly resting on her body to get more leverage. They both continued to moan continuously, the sound of the rattling desk joining them. I kneaded Taeyeon's breasts, occasionally flicking and pinching her nipple, using my hold of her breasts to get even more leverage as I began to pound into her with such force that Jessi's bindings became slightly loose. She immediately took advantage of this by bucking into Taeyeon's face, falling down onto my body, her breasts pressing against my back.

"Oooh Taeyeon," Jessi moaned. "Oh, fuck yes, oh gOd oh goD!" she panted as I turned my head around and began pestering her extreme lower body with butterfly kisses.

I felt Taeyeon's walls clench around my cock, only egging me on to pound into her with more force. Her muffled moans caused Jessi to tense against my body, pressing her breasts further into my back as she bucked into Taeyeon's face again. "Oh my god yes," she breathed out.

I felt my stomach clench once again. "Taeyeon I'm gonna--" and was cut off as Jessi sunk her teeth into my lower body, causing me to tense in pain. She used me as a muffler as she screamed in ecstasy, violently shuddering against my back.

Directly afterwards, I felt a rush of liquid cover my cock, not soon before I released my cum into her. I let her ride out her orgasm until finally, she stopped shuddering.

I pulled out, causing her to groan, and used one hand to support Taeyeon and the other to support Jessi before standing back up. Remembering our roles, I motioned them to get into a desk; they obediently sat down.

"So do we get the boost?" Taeyeon asked eagerly, despite being exhausted.

"One session equates to one 100% test score," I told them. They nodded eagerly, smiling.

"So can we come tomorrow?"

I grinned at Jessi. "Of course."

"And cut!" I heard an unfamiliar voice say. Strange. Didn't Jessi say that Tiffany was going to say cut?

Then, I had just realized what I had done. My face paled; I just had sex with Taeyeon, someone I just met, and Jessi, basically my long-lost twin, in front of a camera. Oh god, what did I just do to myself?

Taeyeon, noticing my paled face, got up and walked to me. I flinched as she did so, but didn't move, glued to the spot I was standing on.

She put a hand on my shoulder, smiling ... sadly? "Sorry, but when Jessi told us about how you normally would never participate in a porno, not to mention that you both were virgins, we decided to include the lunch so we could spike your food with stamina-increasing drugs and your drinks with hormone-inducing drugs," Taeyeon explained. Even though I had listened to everything, I couldn't help but to stare at Jessi, who was still sitting a desk, her head resting on the desk behind her, her breasts arched out, heaving with every breath she took.

"O-Oh," I murmured, feeling my member start to harden again. Unfortunately, it was at this exact same time Taeyeon decided to step in to hug me, my member poking her leg.

I felt her grin. "Ready for round three?" she whispered to me.

"N-No, it’s just--" I gasped as she started to lick that sweet spot I mentioned earlier. "W-Wait..." I tried to back away, but her hands kept me in place.

Thankfully, the unfamiliar voice came over the PA, giving me a chance to escape as Taeyeon loosened her grip on me. "Ok, so you guys get about three hours of rest before she starts the shooting for the next scene. Rest up in that time."

I went for my clothes, but I felt a hand grab me. "You don't need clothes to sleep, right? Plus, we have already all seen each other naked, so there's no point," Jessi's soothing voice told me.

"But--"

"Just come with me, ok?"

I reluctantly agreed, turning back around and heading out the door and into another, much smaller room, containing a huge bed pushed against the opposite wall. I tried my best not to stare at Jessi, or Taeyeon, but of course, I failed. While we were walking to the bed, Jessi suddenly turned around and caught me staring at her. I immediately turned my head away, but she already saw and giggled. "Come on byuntae, let's sleep," she said, motioning me to get into the bed, which was already occupied with Taeyeon, who was currently staring at me hungrily.

"Isn't there another bed?" I asked nervously.

"Nope," she responded calmly.

"..."

Noticing my fearful expression, she continued. "Come on, just get in. We'll try not to rape you, we promise," she said, jokingly. Or, at least I think she was joking.

So, I got under the covers, followed immediately by Jessi, who basically pushed me until I was shoulder to shoulder with Taeyeon.

"Hey there," I heard Taeyeon whisper in a very sexy voice, breathing hot air into my ear. I stared hard at the plain ceiling, trying to ignore her. Which was very hard when she was right next to you.

Without warning, she rolled on top of me. I started, almost hitting her head with mine. "Wh--Wait--!" I felt my hands being brought up, wrists touching cold metal before hearing a distinct click!

She took full advantage of me being handcuffed and stretched against my body, pressing her breasts into my body. "Unf," I groaned, feeling my member to harden again, poking her thighs. She just grinned before resting her head on the crook between my shoulder and my neck, arms wrapping around my slightly elevated shoulders.

I saw Jessi cover her mouth, giggling. "Shut up," I whined, closing my eyes. Right after I did so, she pecked my lips. "Hey--" I opened my eyes again, only to see her laugh even harder. "You promised not to rape me," I whined.

"Sorry, it’s just so tempting," Taeyeon said for Jessi, wrapping her legs around mine, causing my thigh to touch her silky legs.

"Just--" but was cut off as Jessi pecked me again. "Jessi," I pouted, launching her into another fit of giggles. "We're supposed to be sleeping," I reminded her.

"Oh, right," she said after calming down. I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep.

Part 3 here.

[elsfairy]

E A R N E D I T - 𝐕 𝐈 𝐎 𝐋 𝐄 𝐓

Violet has always been obsessed with you. obsessed with how you present yourself respectfully, the way you’re so friendly, and your beautiful interactions with others. appreciates the amount of time you take to get ready in the mornings, even if you weren’t exactly planning to do anything besides spending the day with her. she was undeniably obsessed & in love with every single thing you did. you smiled? she’s silently swooning, pouting to herself, and thanking the gods for giving you to her at such a shitty time in her life. You laughed at one of her overused, yet somehow amusing jokes? she was falling deeper and deeper in love with you as those silent seconds passed the longer you let out that beautiful sound she so beautifully adored to hear. 

she loved you, yes.  

she was obsessed with you, yes. 

but like something everyone dealt with in their life, there was just one thing that took up too much of her mind when you weren’t around.

your hands.

those took up too much of her time when you’re out of the house & working. she loved to feel them in her hair after she herself has worked all day, and coming home to have those delicate, nimble yet long fingers threading through her hair? girl was putty in your hands. or when they brush her lower back during any friendly interaction when you’re introducing her to your co-workers and you’re so fuckin’ oblivious to notice her pink tint blushed cheeks, and how her pupils dilate ever so slightly because you’re simply just . . . touching her?

those innocent, playful thoughts of your hands would become more dirty the longer she was left alone in your shared bedroom, with just her own thoughts. how good those fingers felt tucking strands of hair behind her ear. how you slowly trace her stomach with them after a long day. how good they feel curling inside her cunt. but no matter how many times you ask her what’s on her mind recently because she’s so quiet and Violet is never quiet. always cracking a joke here & there. trying to get you to try some weird food she picked up from the store. she can’t ever find it in herself to tell you, afraid you’ll either judge her or laugh at her. 

of course, her secrets never work out in the best way possible and stay hidden forever like she always plans because not even 3 days later she’s got an even bigger problem. you’re staring up at her with those soft eyes, the same ones that hold so much love for her. one hand gripping her hip, nails digging bluntly into the flesh with such a grip and she can’t breathe because she can feel you everywhere. those kisses you left on her not even 10 minutes ago, still feel fresh against the supple skin of her neck. the spit you left all over her tits, still cold in the night. and you’re saying something but she can’t hear you because she’s too fuckin’ focused on the way your fingers rub at her sensitive clit.  those doe blue eyes hypnotized with them, afraid that if she looks away, she’s going to miss what you’re doing, but it’s so hard to control her urges, and it’s then that her voice breaks more than it usually does. “can i… please? just once..?”

she doesn’t see the way your face changes from happy to confused, nor does she notice the way your lips part at her sudden question because you don’t even have enough time to register how quick she’s moving for you. one minute she’s looking at your fingers then she’s wrapping her lips around the same ones that were only just rubbing messily at her clit. her quiet, subtle whimpers slipping past her lips, as well as her spit when the wet muscle of her tongue licks your fingers slowly, the taste of her still on you.

as much as you loved obident, rule listener Vi, you did miss when she was loud,  when she would quip back snarky comments about you not giving her enough or just overall teasing her until she was in tears begging for what she wanted. but right now, she was even more beautiful to you. eyes screwed shut, droplets of tears slowly forming and sliding down her cheeks. hand gripping tightly on your wrist, cheeks hallowed as she greedily lets you willingly fuck her throat with your fingers to the point she’s making even more of a mess. her blunt nails on her free hand scratching up marks on your stomach, and her hips stuttering due to your movements.

who would have thought, sweet Violet loved your fingers that much.

“good girl. yeah? taste so good don’t you, baby? keep going, you’ve earned it”

[cinnamongorll]

Wildflower - chapter 2

read on ao3 🤍 previous chapter 🤍 masterlist 🤍

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC Synopsis: Joel Miller is an infuriating constant in Alex’s life. As her dad’s best friend and smuggling partner, she can’t seem to avoid him no matter how hard she tries.  When a weapons trade off goes wrong and Alex becomes the next target in a dangerous revenge vendetta, Joel is forced to uphold the promise he made to his friend to protect his daughter from the dangers of the post-apocalyptic world. But when Alex and Joel reluctantly grow closer, and she starts to peel back the layers of animosity between them, Alex realises that nothing is what it seems and that trusting Joel might be more dangerous than anything outside the QZ walls. Series tags: dbf!Joel, age gap (Joel is late 49, FMC is 26), older man/younger woman, slow burn, enemies to lovers, mean Joel, protective Joel, dark Joel, sexual tension, smut, mutual pining, feral Joel, first person pov, angst, more tags to be added, ultraviolence Joel. Chapter warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence. Also, Joel is pretty mean in this one, sorry xx Word count: 6.5k

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Chapter 2:

“Yes.”

The word leaves my mouth and the firm grip on my face disappears before I can prepare myself for the loss of my anchor.  

Joel’s hands retreat to rest against his thighs, fingers curling into tight fists. His head is turned away from me, scanning the crowd, tracking the movement around us. Without his grip, my body deflates and I blink, trying to catch my breath. The air pulls and pushes against the inside of my chest, forcing my mouth to remain open in desperate gasps which neither fill my lungs nor bring me any sense of relief. 

Mourners, witnesses, and survivors just going about their day crash into us from all sides. The square is becoming smaller and smaller as more people file past the stage where the wooden structure stands, where the bodies swing, where my - 

“Joel,” I bite out, my stare burning into the side of his face. 

His head drops towards me. When his eyes catch mine he winces as though caught off guard by the grief that’s splattered over my face. 

“What?” he demands under his breath as his gaze detaches from mine almost immediately, back to scanning buildings and people. I’m abandoned, alone in my confusion.

Someone crashes into me and I stagger to the side, into another man who growls out a loud curse and pushes me away from him. I’m lost in a sea of bodies and screams, my heartbeat roars in my ears as another elbow digs into my side and a foot slams on top of my own. 

I grunt in pain as I twist and turn in the waves of people. I can’t see Joel and, with every push and shove, I’m dragged closer and closer to the gallows. My hands reach out, grabbing at clothing and arms and anything that will stop me from moving towards my dad’s swinging body.

I want to scream. I can feel it crawling up my throat again as another shoulder carves into my chest, but I remember what Joel said. The awareness of guns scanning the crowd seizes my throat and I feel myself choke out a gargled yell that I couldn’t quite keep contained. 

Who are these people? What happened to my dad? Where is Joel?

He told me to trust him, that he’d get us out of here. But he let go, and now I’m floating helplessly in unknown waters, in a battle with no knowledge of my opponents. 

I’m spun around with the flow of people and my eyes catch sight of my dad. 

It’s like someone has reached into my lungs and stolen all the air I’ve so desperately consumed, like I'm being suffocated from the inside. My heart moves at a hummingbird's pace, rippling and thrashing against my thin jumper. 

For a moment I think that time has stopped, but, no, it's worse than that: time keeps moving. People around me keep pushing, my legs keep stumbling. If time stood still, if everyone would just stop moving for a second, I was sure that I could figure this out, that I could wake up from this nightmare. 

I’d realise that this is all a mistake, a misunderstanding. I’d realise that, no, that isn’t my dad up there, it’s someone else, of course. This is someone else’s nightmare, not mine. Please, god, can everyone just STOP. 

Please.

STOP.

I don’t realise I’m saying the words, screaming them, even, until the hand I’ve come to  intimately recognise slides across my open mouth. 

His chest is pressed against my back, his mouth drops to my ear. 

“Don’t turn round, don’t make a sound. Just keep movin,’” Joel growls in my ear.

Something resembling relief pumps through my bloodstream and, by some miracle, my legs don’t falter at the malice in his tone and I fulfil his demand. My legs keep moving, fortified by Joel’s own stride that shadows my own. 

I can’t see anything past the sea of people that I’m swimming through. But Joel does, and he grunts directions in my ear as we weave through the square. “Left” “Right” “Stop” “Keep goin.’” His hand has dropped from my mouth to rest casually on my shoulder, like he does this all the time. 

I realise quickly that this is a performance. Joel is a puppet master, pulling at my strings, pushing me around in some dance I don’t know the moves to. I don’t even know who’s in the audience, who is watching us… who wants us dead. 

I feel Joel stiffen against me at every shove I face as I try to follow his commands, and I hear him unleash low warnings to those who get in our way: “watch it” “move.” 

I shiver at the cold authority in his voice, and those around us do as well. I can sense, though, that Joel is holding himself back, that he could easily clear those who cling to us. But I have enough awareness to understand that Joel is using the violence of the crowd to our advantage; embracing the anonymity of being another stumbling victim in an ocean of people travelling in numerous directions. 

When the sight of legs and shoes give away and I begin to get a clearer view of the ground, I feel Joel’s grip on my shoulders tighten and I’m swept into an alleyway.

His movements are too quick and his hold on me is too strong for any protests to leave my lips. My back hits the brick wall hard and a choked gasp unleashes from my throat as my eyes flash up to meet Joel’s face which is once again turned away from me.  

We’re in a small alleyway, it’s dark and muggy, and as my eyes dart around the space I see tipped bins, leaking unfamiliar fluids onto the cracked concrete, and piles of discarded clothing against the walls. I shiver despite everything, despite the two hands that are holding firm to my shoulders, pinning me against the wall. 

“Joel, what’s happening?” I whisper. 

His eyes drop to mine. Joel is breathing heavily, he’s standing so close I can feel his chest rise with every quick breath. It takes me a moment to notice the ire in his eyes, but when I do, I press my back harder against the wall behind me.

“Told you not to make a sound,” he grinds out. His gaze is unfocused, darting between me and the street to my left which continues to pump out people moving in different directions, some escaping the horror in the square and some desperate to steal a look. 

“And you told me you’d get us out of this, but all you’ve done is lose me in the crowd and get us trapped in an alley,” I retort, enjoying the sudden anger that pulses over my skin. It feels much better than fear. 

Joel stiffens and his hands flex against me, increasing their pressure on my shoulders. 

“Don’t be a fuckin’ smartass,” he seethes with his jaw clenched, pupils flaring. 

I know I should be frightened by Joel’s anger. I know what he’s capable of, I know that he could leave me here to get killed and I know that he wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. But for some reason, I feel a strange sense of immunity. 

In fifteen minutes, my entire world has gone up in flames. I’m standing in the ash pile, waiting for the next fire to catch. 

Joel’s anger isn’t a new threat, it’s an old one, familiar and predictable. The blaze that he ignites is one I like to run my fingers over, enjoying the heat of the burn. 

I tilt my chin up, meeting his narrowed eyes. “Tell me what’s happening, now.” 

He scoffs as his head swings towards the street, then after he’s satisfied that the crowd is still thick, his eyes find mine again. The anger is rippling off him in waves, along with something else that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in Joel: fear.

“You agreed to trust me.”

I shift to stand straighter. His grip eases to let me. 

“Trust only works if it goes both ways.” 

I watch Joel’s jaw move as he digests my words. Then, his eyes fly upwards, a long breath releases from his mouth and he purses his lips. 

My own breath huffs out of me when I realise I’ve won. 

“We took some weapons from the wrong people,” he reveals in a low, grumbling voice as though every word is a struggle. 

“You mean you stole them?” I challenge. Goosebumps trail over my skin as my brain fills in the blanks, jumping to conclusions.

Joel’s chin drops in a sharp nod. 

“Fuck,” I sigh as my eyes follow the movement in the street before returning to his black stare in the dim light of the alley. 

“So what? The people you stole from are the ones who - who,” my throat catches and I swallow roughly, unable to verbalise the reality that I’m confronted with.

Joel’s silence is answer enough. 

I feel tears prick at the corner of my eyes but I’m quick to blink them away. Anger still bleeds out of me and I’m not ready to stem the flow yet, it’s the only thing holding me from  breaking down. 

“Who’s idea was it?” I demand, pushing forward, forcing Joel’s grip on my shoulders to loosen. “To steal the weapons?” 

Joel straightens, standing taller. I can practically feel the rage rising in him. Too bad - I’m angrier. 

I plant my palms on his hard chest and push. “Are you the reason he’s dead?” I attempt to sneer but my voice comes out choked and raw. I watch as Joel takes a step backwards, his eyes somehow darkening further. 

My breaths grow heavy as I wait for him to retaliate; to deny my accusation or push back even harder, to pin me to the wall or even turn and walk away. But he doesn’t, Joel just stares down at me, his eyes roaming over my face as a muscle jumps in his cheek. 

I’m disappointed, I realise after a few seconds. I wanted the push back, I wanted the fight. So, I try again. 

“This is your fault, isn’t it? They’re here because of you,” I taunt, stepping into the space he vacated until my chest almost grazes his. My head is tilted up, my eyebrows are raised. 

Joel says nothing but I watch with satisfaction as his breaths grow sharp and fast and my snide smile lengthens. 

“You got my dad killed, and I’m gonna be next because of you,” I fume, lifting my hands to his chest again to unleash another inch of my anger. 

But my fingers don’t even graze the dark material of Joel’s shirt before his hands wrap around my wrists as he forcefully twists my body around until my arms are pinned behind my back, secured with one hand while the other wraps around my throat, pulling me against him. 

I struggle, shaking my shoulders, attempting to kick his legs, but with every retaliation I feel the grip on my throat increase.

My anger gives way to fear again and, as the red cloud clears, I realise that I’ve been walking along the tightrope of Joel’s fragile patience, and with those last words thrown his way, it snapped, leaving me dangling at the mercy of his sick punishment. 

Joel is sneering in my ear, I can practically feel the snarl on his lips as he grunts and pants while securing my complete submission. 

“Keep talkin’,” he taunts with a growl along the shell of my ear. I’m gasping now, my mouth is open wide but only a minimal amount of air is allowed to enter. 

I feel Joel’s laugh rumble against my back as his grip suddenly eases and my chin drops against his arm as I gulp down the precious air that he refused me.  

“I made a promise to your dad to keep you safe,” he hisses as I land another kick to his shin. I bite my lip when he pulls me closer and my eyes squeeze shut when his hand hovers over my neck like a warning. “But if I hadn’t,” Joel pauses and grunts out a harsh, humourless laugh. “I would’a left you out in the open for a bullet to find you.” 

My body goes limp in his hold. I’m still gasping, greedily swallowing air in case his hand once again finds itself wrapped around my throat. 

“I don’t want your help,” I manage to croak. 

“Too fuckin’ bad,” Joel drawls as he finally realeases me, and I stumble forward, my hands reaching up to cradle my neck before I spin around to face him. 

“Choking me isn’t a good way to get me to trust you,” I cough out, pinning him with my stare.

Joel considers me for a moment, his eyes skimming down my face until they drop to my trembling hands. He looks away quickly and I watch him blink a few times before he wipes a hand over his forehead and turns back towards me. Some of the malice has disappeared from his face. He looks tired, defeated, almost.  

“You already agreed, sweetheart,” Joel replies, but his voice has lost all its fight. “Only way we’re gettin out of this is if you follow my lead.” 

He’s right, I know he is, but my agreement gets caught in my tender throat. 

When I don’t answer, Joel steps forward.

I flinch.

He stops, immediately, and something resembling remorse ripples in his eyes. 

“Got it?” he demands slowly, carefully. 

I look out into the street. The crowd is starting to thin, if we don’t move now, we’re going to lose the cover it gives us. 

“Got it,” I reply. But my response doesn’t sound like a willingness to survive this situation he’s got us in, it sounds more like a sign that I've lost. 

………………………….

We walk side by side through the streets, Joel’s hand is wrapped loosely around my wrist. 

I keep my gaze forward, focusing on putting one foot in front of another. As we move, Joel murmurs quiet commands, altering me when he wants to turn a corner, letting me know that there’s no sign of the snipers, telling me to walk quicker. 

Soon, through the fear and horror that drenches my vision, I recognise where we’re headed. 

“Don’t tell me we’re going back to my apartment,” I whisper sharply. 

Joel doesn’t respond but his footsteps are harsher across the pavement. 

“Joel,” I hiss as I continue to stare straight ahead. “If people are looking for us, our apartments are the first place they’re gonna look.” 

His face whips towards mine and I know I’ve snapped his patience again. 

“We need a place to lay low, to figure this out,” he explains with a biting tone. “And unless you’ve been breakin the rules, no one knows where either of us live.”

My stomach drops but I don’t let my steps falter.

“Fine, okay.”  

My dad had strict rules to keep our heads down, not to make friends, to make sure that we were never noticed. By all accounts, we lived like ghosts in the QZ. 

Joel’s right, no one should know where either of us live. 

In theory. 

His name sits on the tip of my tongue, ready to tell Joel about the one person I gave my address to. But I can still feel the strength of his hand wrapped tight around my throat, warning me that my next misstep might hurt even more. So I keep quiet. 

I broke his rule, just once. Theo would come when Joel and my dad had left, knocking on my door, stripping off my clothes, dipping my body onto my mattress, grunting my name. 

It was casual, fun, inconsequential… right? 

I feel Joel tug on my wrist and I quicken my steps, head down as he leads me home. 

…………………….

My legs give out as I step into my apartment. 

I slide down the wall beside the door as the weight of my new reality is forced down on my shoulders. 

He’s dead. 

He’s not coming home. 

My ears are ringing, my heartbeat is screeching in my ears, drowning out the sound of Joel’s footsteps as he locks the door, steps around me and strides to the window, pulling down the makeshift blinds. 

The apartment is plunged into darkness until he finds the lamp and turns it on. 

Immediately, I’m coated in flickering yellow light and I have to cover my mouth to keep the sob from erupting. Or maybe a scream, I don’t know. 

Joel is talking to me. I can’t hear him but I can see his mouth moving and his eyebrows furrowing when he notices I’m not responding. 

He throws his hands in the air and turns, walking until he reaches the rug in my dad’s room. I squint my eyes when he rolls up the edge and opens the compartment under the floorboards that I hadn’t realised he knew about. 

When he turns back around, there’s a gun in each hand. 

Are they some of the stolen guns?

My hand drops from my mouth as he walks closer, and my chin tilts up to meet the look he’s pinning me with. His eyes survey my face, probably condemning me for the tears that wet my cheeks and the red splotches that stain my skin. 

I expect him to shout at me, to tell me to get up, to stop crying, to stop being weak. 

But he doesn’t. Instead, Joel reaches out, gun dangling from his grip. 

I blink up at him, lines forming on my forehead as my grief stricken mind attempts to understand what kind of game he’s playing.

“Take it,” he commands when I make no move to accept. 

I shake my head quickly and drop my limp hands to the floor. 

“I don’t know how to use it,” I confess, exhaustion clipping my voice. My pride is overshadowed by my grief and fear as I reveal my weakness to the man who had held my life between his hands less than an hour ago. 

His eyebrows shoot to the roof. “You’re jokin.”

Despite my numbness, a fierce pulse of mortification still shoots through my body. 

“Do I look like I’m fucking joking,” I fume as I push myself off the floor and straighten my spine.

The gun hangs between us. 

I’m reminded of the night before, when it was me who handed the gun to my dad. If I take the weapon from Joel, will I meet the same fate? 

I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand, then cross my arms over my chest before my gaze finally lands on Joel’s face. He’s watching me with that reluctant curiosity again and I squeeze my arms tighter to shake the chill of his attention. 

Eventually, he shakes his head and pockets one of the guns. When only one remains in his hand, Joel nods at me.

“Watch.” 

His command has my eyes flashing to his hand, gripped tight around the gun. Joel’s veins are like ropes rippling under his skin as he waits for my full attention. 

“Point down, check it’s loaded, safety off, point, shoot.” 

His instructions are short and blunt but I find myself mesmerised by the movements he makes. Joel’s fingers look like they were moulded to wrap around the handle of a gun. They ache power and scream pain. 

I notice the blood on them, too. Blackness curled around his nail beds and a red tinge staining his knuckles. 

I force my eyes back up to his, and I swallow when I find him already surveying my expression. He looks like he’s taking note. 

“Understand?” he asks roughly after a moment. 

I nod, and accept the weapon into my hand when he tries again. It’s heavy, like the weight of what it means is dragging me down. 

“Why are you giving me this?” 

Joel sighs and rubs his neck, his muscles straining under his shirt. 

“To protect yourself while I’m gone,” he says calmly, still watching me with close attention. 

“What? Gone? Where are you going?” questions spill from my mouth and Joel’s eyes hit the ceiling again before he turns and marches towards the radio by the window. 

I’m on his heels, matching his steps, begging for answers. Panic has attacked my chest, firing lightening bolts of fear throughout my body. 

When he doesn’t turn around, without thinking, I reach out a hand, meaning to land on his broad shoulder and force him to meet my questioning glare. But he catches it before I touch him. Once again, Joel’s hand is wrapped around my wrist and he holds my arm in suspension between us, reminding me of the power he holds in his body. 

“Stop askin’ so many questions,” he grunts before dropping my arm.

I choke out a laugh. It’s so absurd, his absolute refusal to let me in on his plans. 

“Are you being serious? You’ve told me next to nothing about what is going on and now you’re leaving? I have a right to know where you’re going,” I argue, my words are frenzied and breathless. 

Joel dismisses my desperation with a cruel shake of his head, like I’m a child who’s reached their curiosity limit.

His hands curl into tight fists and I involuntarily take a step back until the back of my legs meet the cushions of our worn couch. 

Joel tracks the movement with a sharp inhale. 

“I’m gettin’ us a way out of here, that’s all you need to know,” he answers before turning and stalking towards the apartment door. 

“Out of the QZ?” I blurt out, my voice loud and pleading as I follow his brutal path. 

“You wanna stay here and get killed? Be my fuckin’ guest,” he calls over his shoulder. His threat is meaningless after confessing the vow he made, but a part of me wonders how far his loyalty to my dad goes. 

I swallow down the scream of frustration that threatens to erupt from me, and I dig my nails into my palms, imagining that they’re wrapped around his throat instead. 

“I’m coming with you,” I declare, straightening my spine, trying to appear taller, more capable. 

Joel freezes at my words, his hand paused on its journey to the first lock on the door. I can feel the weight of the sigh he releases before he turns on me, striding forward until he’s towering over me, consuming the space around us with his dominating presence. 

I can practically see the seconds that we’re wasting ticking behind his eyes. Every moment is on the clock now, counting down to those snipers finding us. 

“You’re stayin’ here, end of story,” Joel proclaims with a tilt of his head that has goosebumps rising again on my skin. 

I picture Joel walking out the door, leaving me here alone, unable to shoot, unable to fight, just waiting for him to return. Left to face the cold fury of my grief in this dark apartment that’s coated in memories of the man who now swings from a thick rope.

I consider begging, getting on my knees with my hands clasped and staring up at Joel while I plead with him not to leave me here, to let me come with him. 

I hate this. I hate depending on Joel Miller of all people. My dad’s psychopathic friend. 

But he’s all I have. 

“Don’t leave me,” I plead, scanning his face, searching for any sign of a living breathing person behind the wall of stoicism that he’s built. 

I watch as his eyes narrow and he grits his teeth. 

“Grow up,” Joel scolds, and with one last withering look, he returns to the lock.

His words are like a blow to my stomach and I cough out a choked breath. Heat rises in my cheeks as mortification and anger ripple under my skin. 

I stagger backwards as he pulls the door open. My questions lay unspoken, having died by Joel’s sword of cruelty. 

He turns before leaving but he doesn’t meet my eyes. I wonder if he fears what he’d find in them.

Then, Joel says the same words he uttered last night, before everything went to hell. 

“Don’t do anythin’ stupid.” 

……………………….

The gun is on the table, resting just a few inches away from my fingers which drum on the hardwood surface. 

He left me, he fucking left me. 

I’m seething, every bone in my body is groaning under the weight of my rage. My fingers tap to the rhythm of the thoughts that shoot through my mind. Questions, visions, worries, and regrets meld together into a ball of nausea that surges in my gut. 

I don’t know how long Joel has been gone. Minutes or hours, I can’t tell. The blinds are still drawn and the only light that illuminates the space is the broken lamp that mocks me with its flickering light. 

I imagine myself lifting the gun from the table and following after Joel, surprising him with my capability, shocking him into telling me the truth. 

My eyes squeeze shut until I see nothing but darkness, erasing the vision entirely. 

I wouldn’t even know where to start. I can barely touch the gun without flinching and I don’t have a single clue where my dad’s connections live. He didn’t want this life for me, and I’ve always been content in trusting him with my safety. 

My fingers stop drumming and lift to push into my eyes, turning the darkness into a bright searing orange behind my lids. 

Now my past indifference in learning how to protect myself has caught up to me, and I have to trust Joel fucking Miller with my life. 

What a sick joke. 

I drop my hands to the table with a loud thud, enjoying the slight burn that flashes up my arms when they connect with the hard surface. 

With my palms flat, I push myself out of the chair and stand, inhaling long deep breaths as I turn in a slow circle, taking in every inch of the home that’s closing in on me. 

I wince when my eyes find that broken bulb, bathing me in its fractured glow.

Without thinking, I’m moving towards it, gripping the cold metal stem with my hand and slamming down towards the floor. The light ceases immediately. Glass splatters around my feet, latching onto the laces on my boots and implanting in the rubber sole. 

Sharp breaths claw out of my lungs as I stand over the carnage. My relief is mixed with sorrow as I drop to the floor, my legs shaking as they make their descent. 

The glass bites into my jeans but I can’t see their fractured points. The apartment has collapsed into shallow darkness, faintly illuminated by the threads of daylight that leak out the corners of the blinds Joel pulled down. 

My face is wet again, I can feel the tears drip off my skin, landing somewhere I can’t see. 

My breaths are ragged like the fragmented edges of the glass rubble I rest on. I don’t know how to see past this darkness, I don’t know what my life is going to look like when Joel returns. I’ve been dragged into a mess I don’t even know how to begin to clean up. 

All I know is that Joel and my dad’s smuggling enterprise might have been more dangerous than I thought. 

I lean forward, lifting my arms to cradle around my bent knees as my hair falls around my face like a black veil. 

Joel is capable, I remind myself. If anyone can get us out of this, it’s probably him. He’s a dick but he knows what he’s doing. 

My teeth capture my bottom lip as I consider the frightening reality that despite every bit of survival instinct he has going for him, Joel still managed to get himself targeted by a group strong enough to infiltrate a QZ. 

So Joel can make mistakes, afterall. 

I inhale a shaky breath, but the exhale doesn’t come. 

A loud bang rattles the apartment door. My head swings towards it, hair flying around my face. 

I don’t move, I don’t breathe.

Another bang, a fist hitting off the wood with enough force to shake the doorframe. 

This isn’t Joel. He wouldn’t make that much noise. His knocks are quiet, contained, covert. 

My heart starts to pound. 

This isn’t Joel. 

Panic slams into me. I have to move, I have to hide, I have to do something. 

My hands land on the glass speckled floor and the fractures bite into my skin as I push myself up, moving my legs as slowly as possible. 

I’m standing when I hear the voice. 

“Alex!” it calls. “Are you in there? Open up!” 

Shit. 

I race to the door, my feet crunching over the lamp’s debris. I don’t even look through the peephole, I know exactly who is behind the door. And if he doesn’t shut up he’s going to get us killed.

My fingers are rapid as they release the locks and pry the door open. 

Theo stands on the other side, his chest moving quickly like he’s been running. I don’t give him a chance to catch his breath. I grip his arm and pull him into the apartment, shutting the door quietly. 

“Did anyone follow you?” I demand, sliding my eyes across his face before I turn to deadbolt the door. 

“Follow me? Alex what’s going on?” he asks softly, his eyebrows pinched and mouth gaping. “I saw your dad -” 

My back meets the door. I raise a hand, stopping him. I beg him with my desperate stare to not say the words. My mind is so fragile right now, one more reminder of my dad will shatter it entirely. 

“Did anyone follow you? Please, just answer the question,” I plead, making a considerable effort to calm my voice.

“No, of course not. Why? Is someone looking for you?” Theo asks, stepping closer. 

I drop my head into my hands with a heavy breath. “I don’t know,” I mumble into my palms. 

Strong arms wrap around my middle and pull me into his warm chest. I drop my hands to curl around Theo’s back, fingers gripping the soft material of his t-shirt. 

“What’s going on? You can tell me,” he whispers into my hair. 

“I can’t,” I murmur into his chest.

I can feel Theo try to pull back, to meet my eyes in the dim lighting, to uncover what’s happening, but I’m not ready to let go yet. I just hold him tighter, basking in the comfort of his touch. I allow myself to disarm for a moment, to let the weight of the last few hours fall onto me. 

My breaths come easier, I can feel my mind begin to settle. My thoughts are clearer. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” I say when I drop my arms back to my side and peel my cheek from the safety of his chest. 

Theo brushes a hand across my hair, tucking a few strands behind my ear. “Alex, please. Are you okay?” 

“He’s dead,” I croak out, blinking up at him. Theo is only half visible in the light and I appreciate that I can’t see the pity I’m sure is shining in his eyes, just as I also appreciate the fact that he can’t make out the full extent of the devastation and fear on my own face.

“I know - I came as soon as I saw. I’d heard they had caught a bunch of smugglers last night but I had no idea your dad…” Theo trails off, leaving the rest of his words to remain unspoken, like my dad’s occupation always was. 

“Come on,” he breathes as he takes my hand and leads me through the darkness to the couch. 

I sink into the cushion as Theo wraps an arm around my shoulders. He’s always been good at calming me down. 

In the back of my mind, a voice yells at me, telling me that he can’t be here. What if someone followed him to this building? What if Joel comes back and finds him - 

An image of Joel pointing a gun at Theo’s head flashes across my vision. 

I stand quickly. Theo’s arm falls to the back of the couch. 

“Alex?” he asks, sitting forward.

I shake my head and send a small smile in his direction. “I’ll just be a second.” 

My legs tremble as I walk towards the kitchen. I run my hands through my hair, tugging at my scalp, begging myself to think of some excuse, some explanation for why I need Theo to leave, to protect himself, to stay away from me, to not get caught up in this mess. 

I’m standing at the table, my fingers pressing into the wood. The gun sits inches away, predicting a future I want nothing to do with. 

“Alex -” 

Theo’s voice is cut off by the sound of locks exploding. 

I swipe my hand across the table, grabbing the gun as I drop to the floor. My hand covers my ears as my mouth opens in a silent scream. 

The open door illuminates the apartment in a bright, exposing light. From under the table, I see a man I don’t recognise march towards Theo.

“What are you -” 

A trigger is pulled and I watch in a state of absolute horror as my friend’s head swings backwards with the force of the bullet that shoots through his skull. 

My hands pile over my mouth, feverishly holding in my scream. My gun is pressed against the side of my face. Every inch of me is shaking. I can’t move, I can’t feel anything but terror. 

The man turns and I know with a sharp pulse of dread that he’s spotted me. It locks my muscles and steals my breath. 

At least I didn’t have to live too long in my grief, I think. 

What are you doin’? MOVE

My eyes flash open at the imaginary sound of Joel’s voice rattling through my skull. 

“What do we have here?” the man taunts as he stalks closer. I wonder where he’ll shoot me? In the head like Theo? Or maybe the heart, let me bleed out slowly?

“Are you hiding?” the man laughs and his feet pause their movements. “Seriously?” 

I grit my teeth, confused at the man’s taunting. There’s something in his tone like he wants me to fight back, like he wants to punish me.

I think of my dad, and how hard he tried to keep me from this life. I blow out a trembling breath, he wouldn’t want me to die like this. 

From my position, I can’t see anything but the man’s feet planted on the other side of the table. The gun shakes in my sweaty palms as I try to remember Joel’s instructions. 

“Point down, check it’s loaded, safety off, point, shoot.” 

Blood roars in my ears as I follow the rhythm he showed me. The man continues his taunting, but I can only vaguely make out his snide remarks, trying to bait me out from under the table. 

Seconds later, the safety is off and I shoot before the man can react to the sound of the soft click. 

A strangled yell ricochets off the walls of the apartment and I tip backwards with the force of the gunshot. 

I hit his thigh, I think. 

I’m in shock but my brain still screams at me to move, to get out of here, to use this distraction to my advantage. 

My ears are ringing, and I can see a cloud of blackness enter the corner of my eyes that tells me that fainting is a real possibility, but I tighten my hold on the gun as I begin to crawl. 

I release a sharp, guttural scream when my head is lurched backwards as a hand wraps around my hair with a blaze of white hot pain across my scalp.

The gun drops to the floor as my hands fly up to grip my head, to try and block my attack. 

“You little bitch,” the man snarls in my ears as he pulls harder, dragging me upwards until I’m standing. I stumble and struggle in his grip but he doesn’t let up his vice like hold. 

“Guess you’re not so different from your dad then, are you?” he grunts out as I attempt to slam my back into his chest. 

My life is hanging by a very weathered thread and yet my eyes still prick with the mention of my dad. 

“If this is about the weapons,” I gasp out through gritted teeth as he increases his hold on my hair. “We can sort this out - we can pay you back.” 

The man’s answering laugh frightens me more than the sight of his gun. 

“You think this is about some stolen weapons?” he demands, his voice is blaring in my ears and I flinch, squeezing my eyes shut. 

For a short moment, myself and this man both pause in a display of our mutual confusion but the cold rim of the gun that finds my temple ends our short truce. 

I release a trembling breath. In fear or relief, I’m not sure. 

“Shit.” 

Something hot and sticky splatters against the back of my head and I drop to the floor, released from the man’s brutal hold. My eyes open when my body hits the ground. I can’t hear anything, my limbs aren’t responding to my commands to move, to get up, to run. 

Am I dead?

Hands land on my shoulders and I twist around, throwing my arms around and kicking with all the strength I didn’t know I had. My eyes are wide but they’re unseeing. I’m moving too quickly to focus on any single thing. 

Whoever is touching me is strong and once they land a firm grip on my shoulders, I’m pinned to the floor with only my legs to continue fighting for me. 

“Alex, stop.” 

My body goes limp, following the command without question. I blink rapidly, trying to clear the terror from my eyes.

“Joel.” I slur his name as his face appears above me. 

He’s furious. The line between his eyebrows looks like it's been carved out with a knife. 

“You hurt?” he demands, his voice sends shivers down my aching spine.

I shake my head and wince when the movement sends another wave of dizziness to wash over me. 

Joel seems unconvinced. He releases one of my shoulders to search my body for wounds. Flames erupt under my skin where his hand grazes me.

When he’s satisfied, Joel leans back until he’s on his knees, perched over me. 

The black cloud that darkened my vision has returned, curling around the edges like ink in water. My breaths can’t keep up with the pace of my heartbeat. 

Joel frowns as he looks down at me. 

“You left me,” I murmur.

Then the black cloud claims me as its victim.

-----------------------------------------------

@kaseyconnour @casa-boiardi

-----------------------------------------------

Hey!! Thanks for reading!! I'm going away again for a few days and then I'm starting my new job so I'm going to try and aim for a new chapter every 2 weeks - hope that's okay 🤍

[yourfavouriterival]

the slow descent from reality (and how to find your way back)

shoko x platonic!fem!reader, gojo x platonic!fem!reader, geto x platonic!fem!reader

warnings: slightly au (not concrete on whether it is canon-compliant), puking, crying, mentions of wounds, mentions of death, hurt/comfort

note: idk if this is good :( but it came out and this is the first thing i've written in months so do give me criticism

-

There must be something in the air. That must be it, because she must’ve been imagining things. Surely, the two loves of her life were still very much the loves of her life. Surely, her closest and longest friend was still her closest and longest friend. Surely, their choice of school and choice of career hadn’t changed their souls so much that she flinched away from their touch. Surely, she could still stand her three best friends' gaze on her and not need to shrink from them. 

And yet. 

Her best friends—her three only ones—that she couldn’t bear to be away from had suddenly become the only ones she couldn’t bear to be close to. 

It’d all started in the beginning of the colder months. She’d yanked her coat over her thin hoodie and held the sleeves to stop them from rolling up her arm. She’d pulled a hat onto her head, avoiding the mirror to be able to ignore how egg shaped she must’ve looked. She’d double-tied her shoes to keep the cold out. 

She’d even grabbed an extra knife to stuff in her boot. 

And still her hands shook and her heart blistered from the cold. 

How long had she grasped onto this feeling within, trying to breathe it into existence only for it to not matter in the slightest? Years, at this point. How long had she wanted to fight stronger curses, to show how strong she truly was? How long had she longed for the chance to prove herself, to finally protect something that mattered?

Yet this past mission. She might've very well signed her resignation papers on the train ride home. 

Her train compartment had been isolated, just her and the sound of metal on metal as she turned her head away from the windows. Her phone lay silent in her pocket, the headphones she usually wore haphazardly thrown into her shoulder bag alongside the knife she’d stuffed in her boot. 

She’d come home, though. As she walked the steps leading to her dorm room, she thought she might just pass out, not from exhaustion. Every step hurt her lungs, and she felt the world was spinning before her eyes, and she couldn’t seem to stand on her own two feet, having to support herself on the wall next to the door. 

She’d never felt so weak. 

Her phone buzzed. 

She opened it. 

suggy: me n dumbass r watching lotr. come over

suggy: realising that sounds like a fuck boy dont come over

suggy: i give up. bye. 

suggy: shoko wants u here. i will not fuck u. 

sat on as a child: sugu soooo wants to hit

sat on as a child: ok sorry hope ur mission went well :3

cigarette girl: hello can u bring me a pack i think i left it in ur room

cigarette girl: omg wait how did the mission go!!! ur so professional now

And for some reason, she closed the door and slid down, numb to the feeling of the wood door digging into her back and somehow unable to close her eyes. The room was dark, the candle she had in the corner cold and dry, the light switch on the wall above her seeming to move further and further away from her hand that felt like forty pounds resting on her leg. 

She felt sick. 

-

For two days she couldn’t eat. She avoided Suguru and Satoru’s invitations by saying she had a stomach ache and she avoided Shoko by saying she had plans with the boys. For four days she couldn’t sleep. 

Nausea wracked her body with each breath and her head was spinning even though she hadn’t moved from her pillow for days. Her body felt oily, the idea of taking a shower too hard. 

I failed. I quit. That’s all she wanted to say. She just wanted to close her eyes for a moment and not see what haunted her mind. 

But if she really quit, what else would she do? Maybe she’d become a doctor, and try to save some lives for once. But why should she try to save people who rarely wish to be saved? Similarly, why was it in her DNA to see curses? Was it not non-sorcerers who should pay the price for their own doings? Should she need to watch yet another child die—

“Oi! Let us in, we’ve got take-out!” 

Satoru was the voice, and two smacks were heard, so that meant Shoko and Suguru were with him. 

But she couldn’t move a muscle. The blankets seemed to consume her, and she might’ve fought against it if she had any energy left to give. But her legs were made of cement and her stomach was filled with glue, sticking her insides together, and hindering her ability to feel her own legs. 

She didn’t want them to come in. She didn’t want them to see her like this. What would they think of her now? Her room was a mess, reflecting a fraction of what her mind was, and her bed looked like someone had fought a war in it. 

“We’re waiting! Hello,” Gojo drawled, voice almost like a melody through the door. 

She kept staring at the wall, curled into herself and breathing much too shallowly. 

“Suguru, you literally have a key. Use it.”

“For emergencies.”

“This is an emergency. I need to sit. My legs are numb,” he whined. Their voices were all muffled and she couldn’t really figure out if it was due to the door between them or how her ears were ringing. 

“Fine,” Suguru groaned, and she heard the sound of the key scraping against the keyhole before the door opened. 

“Your favourite people are here!” yelled Gojo. 

But it was so quiet. 

Her name was called out, or she thinks she heard it. But she didn’t move, only her back facing them. For a moment, she worried about the fresh scars on her back that couldn’t be healed fast enough, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

The bed dipped by her legs, and then a hand was placed on her knee over the blanket. The hand was warm, like a furnace under someone's skin, so it had to be Suguru. 

Her name was said again, and the bed dipped twice more—once by her head and lastly by her back. 

“What’s happened?” 

She didn’t speak, but she did start coughing. And then she spoke the first thing she’d spoken in days. “I—I’m gonna throw up,” she warned frantically, and within a second there was a metal bucket by her head where she’d shot up to sit. 

“Go away,” she cried between gags, but all that happened was Shoke pressing a wet towel to her neck and someone rubbing her back. “Please, j—just go away,” she cried, tears springing to her eyes when the gags turned to dry heaving. 

“Not right now,” Satoru said, unusually soft when he took the wet towel from Shoko to wipe around her mouth as she sat up. 

Without a word, Suguru took the bucket and disposed of it and it’s contents in the bathroom attached to her room, and then returned to kneel on the floor beside the bed. “We heard what happened.” 

It just made her cry harder, body so weak that she had to lean against Shoko behind her. “Then you should leave.” 

“Never,” Shoko finally said, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her head. 

The tears that fell from her eyes dripped onto her shirt, but she couldn’t seem to close her eyes from the onslaught. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Suguru promised. “Do they hurt?” She didn’t know what he meant, so she shook her head regardless. “Your back.” 

Oh. Right. The two slashes running across her lower back throbbed at the reminder of their existence. 

“A bit,” she said finally. “I feel… gross.” 

“Then do you want to shower?” 

“Y—yeah,” she said, but when she stood (disregarding that she was only clad in underwear and a t-shirt) her legs buckled beneath her, and she would have crashed to the floor had her three best friends not caught her. 

“Okay, I’m carrying you,” Satoru said, and no sooner than the words left his mouth was she in the air, not without yelling a bit. 

As they entered the bathroom, she realised what a conundrum she was in. Was she to strip naked? Or should she somehow hold herself up—

“Stop thinking so much,” Satoru chastised, and set her down on the closed toilet seat as Suguru and Shoko joined them. “Which one of you wants to? I would but—”

“Yeah, yeah, your six eyes and whatever,” Shoko grumbled, but it was Suguru who took whatever Satoru was holding.

“A blindfold?” she laughed suddenly, even though it tore up her throat to do so, and she lost her breath when Suguru tied it around his head and stood in the shower, arms open. 

“Won’t look. Just here to help,” he said. And then Satoru was guiding her into the shower, and taking Shoko out and closing the door, and then it was just her and Suguru. 

“Sugu,” she said softly. And then she was leaning forward, resting her head on his collarbone and just breathing him in as she reached behind him and turned the water on. She flinched at the coldness first, but leaned back anyway to take off her shirt. “Can’t get my underwear off,” she mumbled, and even with his gentleness of finding her hips and pulling them down, she couldn’t help but feel her face and neck warm. 

“We’ll take care of you.”

-

When Suguru clambered out of the bathroom with his soaking wet clothes to change, he also threw in an oversized shirt and underwear and pants, but as she yanked them on she noticed the smell—Gojo Satoru. 

She remembered, suddenly, buying them. They’d gone to a second-hand store, and Satoru had taken the biggest shirt he could find “just for funsies” and the softest pants, and then proceeded to never wear them. Shoko had complained and offered to take them, but Satoru refused, saying that someday he would want to wear them.

And now she was wearing them and tentatively stepping out of her bathroom to a very clean room. 

“Um—”

“I cleaned!” Satoru yelled. Shoko hit him in the shoulder, and walked towards her to guide both of them into her newly made bed. 

“I cleaned,” Shoko whispered, curling her body around her best friend’s. Then Satoru joined, flopping down next to Shoko whilst Suguru pressed his chest to her back. 

“I know.”

[lcvernat]

Medicine | Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Request: any chance you can write about reader cancelling Nat on a date for no apparent reason. Confused, Nat shows up a y/n’s house and finds her miserably sick with a horrible cold or something? y:n says shes fine but Nat insists on taking care of her? Just pure fluff 💕💖

Word Count: 1.6k

Content Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, so so much fluff, mentions of the flu/painkillers

A/N: 2 fics in 2 days? it's a christmas miracle!!! i hope you enjoy this anon and i'm sorry for the wait <3 i've heard on tiktok about a terrible flu going around so if you've been hit by it i am so sorry and hope this fic helps somewhat <3

Flu season this year was a bitch. Clearly, you had committed some heinous crime in your past life to deserve this. Your body was aching; every time you swallowed it felt like shards of glass were digging into your throat, your nose was so red and runny you could likely pass for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, you were constantly coughing so hard you felt like you were going to ascend, and the headaches and earaches were torture. One moment you were burning up, the next you were freezing.

Tissues, empty water bottles, and an empty packet of painkillers scattered your bedside table. You couldn't even bring yourself to go buy more painkillers because it felt like someone had shot you in every nerve in your body every time you stood up. This was hell.

To make matters even worse, you had to cancel on your date with Nat. You were left with no choice, really, but you still felt horrible because it had been in planning for so long - having an Avenger for a girlfriend wasn't always ideal because you could rarely find a time when both of your schedules aligned to go out. And of course, the one time you both were free, the universe decided to stick a massive middle finger up at you and punish you for no apparent reason. Probably for something your ancestor did 400 years ago.

Your stomach rumbled, breaking the silence in your bedroom. You had no energy to do anything other than stare blankly at your ceiling, occasionally interrupted by a coughing fit. It was like you were on your death bed (it really felt like you were). But hey, at least your stomach had rumbled, hopefully that meant your appetite was coming back. Your gaze moved to your bedroom door, and you mentally calculated the distance between your bedroom and the kitchen, trying to see if you have the effort to get food right now. A hallway, a flight of stairs, some more walking, and then the kitchen. It didn't seem that hard. You could do this.

"Okay, Y/N, you've got this," your voice was so raspy and hoarse from both disuse and your aching throat, but you still decided to attempt to hype yourself up. You moved your body so slowly, wincing every time a shot of pain went up your spine. It took you approximately 5 minutes longer just to reach the top of the stairs than it normally would have. In your sickened state, the stairs looked way longer than usual. You sighed, maybe you should just give up. Was soup really this worth it?

Your stomach rumbled again. Okay, maybe it was. Very, very slowly, wincing every step, you managed to make it downstairs and to the kitchen. You grabbed some canned soup, poured it into a pot and set it on the stove. As you were busy making yourself some tea with honey whilst waiting for your soup to heat up, the doorbell rang.

You really were not in the right state to converse with someone right now. You looked like you'd been dragged through hell and back, because that is how you currently felt. So, the only option was to just ignore whoever it was, until it rang again. And again. And again. And then the person started banging on the door.

Good god. This person was desperate. No, you didn't want to buy their girl scout cookies. Shuffling over to the door, you huffed before swinging it open. "I am no-" You stopped speaking, your mouth agape as your gaze bounced between the face of your girlfriend and the gun that she was currently clutching in her hands.

She looked worried. Very, very worried.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Natasha pushed passed you and into your house, scanning her surroundings as if she was expecting a murderer to pop out of a hiding place. She slowly put the gun into her back pocket when she considered the coast clear.

"I'm fine?" You raised an eyebrow in confusion before a coughing fit overtook you, forcing you to bend over until it subsided.

Natasha hurried back towards you, concern etched into her features, "First you cancel our date, then you don't answer my texts, and then you take years to answer the door? I thought something had happened! I was worried sick!" She tried to pull you in for a hug, but you sidestepped her and shook your head.

"Bad idea."

"Are you sick?"

"Nah," you waved her off, "just a cough, but I don't want you to catch it. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine. Or look fine, for that matter."

"Wow, thanks," you shuffle your way back to the kitchen, continuing on with your task of making yourself some soup and a cup of tea with honey, trying your hardest to ignore the aches in your body.

"You're sick. I know you are. Let me take care of you," Natasha followed behind you, her tone worried but also leaving no room for argument. The redhead was determined to take care of you, and your protests were definitely not going to stop her.

"Really, I'm fine," your body clearly hated you and took that exact moment to have a sneezing fit, so your statement couldn't of seemed more false if you tried. After the sneezes had subsided and you brushed the tears from your eyes, you looked up to see Natasha holding a packet of tissues in her outstretched hand. You weren't going to ask where they came from, but you were grateful and took them anyway. "Don't you have Avengers duties to do or something?"

"You're more important than that," she stepped closer to you, and you couldn't help but smile at her. "Let me take care of you."

You finally give in to her, desperately wanting to be in the safety of her arms and to let someone take care of you. You nod slowly, and she closes the distance between you two, pulling you into a hug and wrapping her arms around you tightly.

"You're going to get sick."

"Don't care, what hurts and what can I do?"

You bury your head in the crook of Natasha's neck, so your voice comes out muffled, "Everything. Literally. I've ran out of painkillers, my head hurts, my ears also hurt for some reason, my entire body hurts basically. My throat feels like nails every time I swallow. I am dying."

"Alright," Nat says softly, "let me carry you back up to bed. I'll bring your soup and tea up, and then I'll go to the shop to buy you more painkillers. I'll make you a hot water bottle, too, that usually helps with the aches."

"You're the best."

"I know," Natasha pulls back and kisses you softly on the forehead before scooping you up bridal style. You don't even complain, you wouldn't have the energy to walk back up the stairs yourself anyway. Though, you couldn't help but notice that you feel better already, it was like she was the medicine you needed all along.

"I feel like a princess right now. Even though I don't look like one," you tried to laugh, but it came out like more of a croak, and it hurt your chest, so you stopped.

"You are a princess, and you always look like one."

When you finally get back to your room, Natasha places you down gently on your bed and pulls the covers up to your chest. She tries to kiss you on the lips, but you move away from the redhead, still not wanting her to catch any of your germs. She glares at you before grabbing your face in her hand, forcefully planting a kiss on your lips and you pout when she pulls away.

"You're going to get sick."

"Don't care," she clears your bedside table, putting all the tissues into the bin and grabbing the empty water bottles and empty painkiller packet to bring downstairs, "I'll be right back up with your soup and tea."

Natasha does indeed return a few minutes later with a tray, a bowl of soup and a cup of tea sat on top of it. You sit up, smiling gratefully at her as she hands you the tray. "You are the best servant ever."

She rolls her eyes, "I love you too, moya lyubov. I'll just head to the store really quick to get you more painkillers, and I'll make you a hot water bottle when I get back. Then we can lie in bed all day and watch movies, okay?"

Your stomach warms at her words, and it definitely isn't because of the sip of tea you just took. "Are you really sure you aren't afraid of getting sick?"

Nat shakes her head, "If getting sick is the result of taking care of the love of my life, then so be it. If we can't go out for our date, we can still have one here. Okay?"

You nod, smiling so wide your cheeks start to ache. Natasha returns the smile, leaning down to give you yet another kiss, all thoughts of germs be damned. "I'll be as quick as I can,"

"I love you,"

"I love you more,"

"I love you most,"

"Not possible!" She retreats, closing the door behind her before you can offer a retort. You feel oddly lonely now that she's left, like a part of you is missing every time you're not around her.

Your phone pings with a notification then, and you pick it up from your bedside table to check it. It's from Natasha, 'Did I tell you that your raspy voice is really hot? Get sick more often', you roll your eyes and set your phone back down.

Despite feeling the worst you think you've ever felt when sick, you feel oddly better now that you know you have Natasha to take care of you. Maybe she really was the medicine that you needed all along.

tags: @sheneonromanoff @olicity-boo @r4nd0mgir1 @tigerlillyruiz @dj-bynum3718 @lovelyy-moonlight

dm me, send me an ask or reply to be added to my taglist!

[anakinsgirlfriendreal]

Parts Of The Truth

Masterlist

Chapter Four

Warnings:18+ smut, p in v, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it), infidelity, foul language, once again a bit sad cause I feel like it, reader is a mother so a child is mentioned(I love children, sorry not), also I wrote this in the middle of my Politics class so maybe some spelling errors.

"I love you Padme"

The words haunted your dreams, as you slept. You rolled over coming into contact with his hard chest. Your eyes opened adjusting to the darkness of the room, he had slept over and he had carried you from the couch to bedroom. You remained still for a moment; listening to his breathing, soft snores escaping his lips as he chest rose and fell. You bit to your lip in thought; your mother's words ring through your ears again 'what you're doing is really stupid' she's right, he very obviously doesn't love you, at least not as much as he loves his wife. Your heart hurts, it feels like it'll burst from your chest. Unable to stay beside him in the moment, you get up, heading to the kitchen.

You were sat on the counter, sipping a glass of wine. Your mind running wild; he doesn't love you, maybe he doesn't even love Darcy, he's using us, Padme may find out, oh god what if you lost your job, how would you take care of yourself, take care of Darcy, he did everything- your thoughts are interrupted by his sleepy voice calling out to you as he now stood in the kitchen.

"Baby why are you up? What's wrong?" He stretches, coming towards you, he stands between your legs.

"what's the matter" he kisses your forehead gently.

You tried to push past him but he cages you in, hands on each side of you.

"what's going on? You know you can tell me" he leans down to kiss you and as usual, you kiss back.

You don't say anything, just deepening the kiss, his hands stretch under your thighs as your legs wrap around him, carrying you back into the bedroom. He carefully places you on the bed, slipping your night gown off your shoulders. His hands exploring every inch of your body as though it were the first time.

"You're so beautiful" he kisses down your neck, you can feel his hardening length rubbing against your clothed sex and like a dog in heat your hand reaches down, over his toned chest, down his abs and into his sweats to stroke him.

He groans, a soft moans falling from his lips when he buries himself inside you. You gasp at the delicious stretch, preparing yourself for his harsh thrusts, you close your eyes but they never came.

You open your eyes and he's above you, still buried deep inside your hot cunt but he's stilled. Looking down at you he brushes some stray hair from your face, adjusting himself so his cock presses that sweet spot inside you, your hands wrap around him, nails leaving soft scratches as they dig into his back. His eyes are piercing like they see into your soul, like they're reading your thoughts. The position is so intimate, so raw, like he's trying to steal your soul and join it with his own, he drops himself slowly onto you, and then began to move, slowly, your leg wraps around him, pushing him deeper into you. His kisses down your jaw to your neck, soft nips on your breasts are like a drug you can't help but delight in. Small whimpers turn into moans as his thrusts get faster and his kisses sloppier almost needed. His squeezes your face in his hand, his hips snapping against you as he hammers your needy cunt. "I love you so fucking much" he whispers, kissing you roughly, a string of saliva on the side of your mouth once he pulls away to bite your neck, the hand on your face, wraps around to your throat, his brutal thrusts slowing, he groans when you clench around him, he's about to pick up the pace again when you stop him.

"wait just rub it" you whisper. He does as you ask, rubbing the tip of his cock against your swollen clit, occasionally teasing past your folds. Your eyes flutter closed, mind clear of all thoughts just him. In this moment he was yours, not Padme's, in this moment he wanted you and somehow that was enough. He pushes in to you again, laying his weight on top of you at your request as you coach his movements, nearing both your highs.

"Fuck" he mutters, his cock twitches and he spills himself inside of you, you gasp, warmness spreading throughout your body.

He lays on top of you, still tucked perfectly inside you as you catch your breath. He kisses your neck, burying his face in the space between our head and shoulder.

"I'm sorry" he says, his voice soft and almost whiney, foreign for him really. He raises his head, looking at you, his hand smoothing over your hair. "I love you"

You tilt your head to look at him, a small smile on your lips, your hand comes up to his hair, he kisses your arm. You hadn't even realized that the sun was up, streaks of light finding their way though your curtains, his messed up hair or as you called it; his sex hair almost golden in the sunlight.

"I know."

By the time Darcy had woken up, he was gone. Leaving some stuffed bunny he'd bought for her on the kitchen counter. The weekend was short, simple. You spent as much time with Darcy as possible, choosing to not think about he absolute shit show that was your life.

That Sunday night Darcy laid in your bed, crawling under your shirt, more one of Anakin's old shirts, her small hand tracing a circle repeatedly over your chest. "Mama?" Her voice is soft and curious, you tilt your head to look down at her.

"How come daddy doesn't live with us? Grandma said daddies always live with babies and mommies" she says, she was too smart for a three year old and you couldn't do anything but laugh. You think of what you could possibly say.

"Daddy has to work very hard so that he can buy all the teddies in all the world for you" you say, she hums and then looks up at you, both your heads fitting neatly in the neck of the stretched out t-shirt.

"But-" you cut her off.

"Darcy you don't need to worry about that okay. Daddy and mommy love you very much and your grandma shouldn't be talking to you about that in the first place" she pouts, her dirty blonde curls, wild on her head, her blue eyes big and soft, gosh she looked so much like her father, like you had nothing to do with birthing her at all. "You can't guilt me you little stinker" you whisper, her forehead resting against yours, her soft laugh filling your ears, you kiss her cheek, hugging her close, she settles her head on your chest gain, quick to fall asleep.

Monday morning, you'd called in sick. Darcy was ill; fever and a cold, how she had gotten it overnight was a mystery to you. You figured it was best to stay home with her rather than drop her at your mom's and risk something worsening, Anakin had called a few times to speak with her, promising to drop by later.

You were laid on the couch, Darcy on your chest as you watched paw patrol, she was completely obsessed with it and you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy an episode or two.

Your doorbell rings and you damn near die when you answer it and your eyes register the face looking back at you.

"Padme" your voice breaks, your palms immediately beginning to sweat.

Could use some feedback. What do you guys think so far and what direction would you like to see this heading?

[natalievoncatte]

She knows I’m coming. She probably heard me six blocks away. Heard my voice, my heartbeat.

Lena walked softly down the hall of Kara’s building, counting the doors, counting how many times she had walked past these old bricks with joy lifting her heart. Game nights and movie nights and sleepovers, all the little things she’d torn apart with her bare hands in petty vengeance for Kara’s betrayal.

She did betray me! She lied, she manipulated, she used me.

Lena reached the door and hesitated.

Used me for what? What did Kara or Supergirl ever ask of me that I wouldn’t have given freely?

In her secret heart, Lena knew that it was what Kara didn’t ask for. The one thing she never wanted. She stood outside the door for a half minute, fingers curled in a loose fist as she fought to find the willpower to do this.

It never came. Kara swung the door in and stood there. She was dressed in a soft, yellow sweater and gray leggings, hair down and barefoot, in her natural state where she was just Kara.

A momentary flicker of concern folded Kara’s brows when Lena’s heart raced explosively. Maybe she really could hear it.

If only she’d listened to it.

Lena dropped her hand to her side. Her carefully prepared speech fell to ash in her mouth and she trembled on the spot, eyes a little too wide as Kara looked at her with a flat expression. Not anger. Not remorse. Not concern.

(not desire)

Just… nothing.

It felt like a thousand years passed when Kara turned around and silently padded back into her loft, stopping by the table. She stood, her back to Lena, arms folded, silent.

But she didn’t close the door.

Lena stepped tentatively inside and swung the door shut behind her. She swallowed hard, trying to wet her throat so she could speak, but nothing worked.

Finally, she managed to begin choking it out.

“I made a terrible mistake.”

Kara said nothing.

“I was hurt. I was so hurt. I let it blind me and lead me down a dark path. I thought I could fix everything. I just wanted to make the hurting stop. All the hurting. Lex is back. He’s taken my research and he’s going to do something terrible with it. I want to help you stop him.”

There was still no reaction. Lena wasn’t sure if she saw Kara’s shoulders move or if it was a figment of her imagination. She supposed it didn’t matter. Kara wasn’t saying anything.

Lena couldn’t hold back the sob that burst out of her. She could see it now, the anger burning inside Kara. The rejection and betrayal. The fury as cold as the crystal walls of her secret fortress.

This was it. Lena did it. She won.

She made Kara hate her.

Lena sagged, almost falling like a puppet with cut strings. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and tried to fight back the tears and failed. They fell freely, cutting hot lines down her cheeks as sobs wracked her body.

She didn’t beg or plead; her silence was not born of stiff-necked Luthor arrogance but of resignation. She couldn’t bear it. If she beseeched Kara for forgiveness and was met only with silence she might die.

Lena turned for the door, half blinded, wishing some hell would swallow her up and bring an end to this misery.

She didn’t make it.

A powerful arm drew around her with sublime care. A hand that could crush titanium rested gently on her shoulder, and she was turned around so delicately, so gently, that she wondered if she’d fainted and this was a dream.

Even with Lena in heels, Kara easily brought Lena’s head to her shoulder and rested her own chin atop hers, taking Lena into a deep, careful embrace. Lena hugged back hard, with all her strength. She hugged Kara as if she meant to climb inside her, as if she could never let go. Kara was still silent.

“Kara?”

Kara took a deep breath, her powerful body shuddering in Lena’s arms.

“I thought I lost you forever.”

Lena shattered again, harder this time. She sobbed against Kara, digging her fingers into Kara’s back. Kara simply stroked her hair and hummed softly into Lena’s scalp.

“I don’t want to let go of you,” Kara whispered.

Kara shifted, looking down at her. Lena drew back, blinking tear-reddened eyes. Kara just stared at her, eyes searching, drinking every detail of her face. With her fingers, she lightly brushed a lock of hair from Lena’s cheek and smiled.

Kara was radiant. It was like the sun had finally emerged from behind dark clouds and Lena stood full in its warmth again. She hasn’t seen that smile in so long, she could barely believe it had ever been real. The sheer joy in Kara’s eyes was too much to bear.

Lena was barely aware that she’d lifted up on her toes, that she was reaching, back arching, arms around Kara’s waist to steady herself.

The look of absolute shock on Kara’s face paled in comparison to the softness of her lips. Kara stood stone still for a moment and Lena’s heart jumped again as she thought she’d again made a terrible mistake, and started to pull back.

There was nowhere to go. Kara casually lifted Lena from her feet as she kissed her back, effortlessly pulling her into a spinning, joyous hug.

When Kara put her down again, Lena knew she was a mess of red-rimmed eyes and tears with a silly smile on her face. Kara’s eyes were wet, too, and Lena had left a smear of dark lipstick behind.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “Is this… are we… can we…”

Kara’s shoulders rolled back and she stood to her full height, gently cupping Lena’s chin in her soft hand.

“Lena, I’m Supergirl. I can do anything.”

[aihoshiino]

Da Vinci Magazine Jan. 2024: A Q&A with Ai of B-Komachi!

In the January 2024 issue of Da Vinci magazine, there was an in-character interview with Ai as written by Aka Akasaka that you can read a translation of here! What I forgot to mention on that initial post is that there was also a little lightning round Q&A the original anon didn't translate at the time. Thankfully, they did post it and I just... completely forgot it existed until now. ;9 Shout out to past me who remembered to save it and kept me from having to dig thru the 4chan archives for it...

Unlike the original interview, this is my translation! So any goofs and gaffes are entirely on me lol. This is also totally spoiler safe, so you can read both this Q&A and the original interview no matter what point you are in the series.

Get to Know Ai Better! Q&A Session

Q. What motto do you live by?

A. I really like "Tomorrow is a new day." I'm one of those people who forgets all their worries after a good nights' sleep. (laughs)

Q. Tell us how you refresh yourself!

A. I like taking naps on my days off. I was saying earlier that I forget my worries once I've gotten some sleep but with this job, it can be hard to find the time to actually do it. Not just that, but lately I've been waking up in the night to take care of this and that, so when I do have the time to sleep, I really conk out.

Q. What is your routine on days off?

A. I wake up, prep some milk… oh, um - I like cornflakes so I always need milk for breakfast. Then I go for a nap (laughs). I know some of the other B-Komachi members like going to beauty salons or nail salons, but I don't do nails and I let my hair grow out so I'm usually just at home (laughs). I even cut my own bangs! I've been doing it for years so I'm pretty good at it. I've even cut other peoples' hair once or twice, though not anyone in B-Komachi.

Q. Your 20th birthday's coming up soon. What are you looking forward to doing once it arrives?

A. I want to try drinking alcohol. The president of my agency keeps saying, "I can't wait to have a drink with you!" He makes it sound like a lot of fun, so I'm curious to know what getting tipsy's like.

Q. What book left the biggest impression on you this year?

A. It's a manga, but I was moved to tears by "I'll Go With Sweet Today". The heroine is a girl who distrusts people and develops anorexia, becoming terrified of eating… I have a bit of that in me too, though not quite to the same extent she does, so I could really relate to her and her journey to recovery really moved me. If there's ever a live-action version, I'd love to play her!

Q: What would you like to do after the Dome concert?

A: I'd like to go on a trip or something. Where would be nice... Oh, I've heard of 'Mito Natto' before, so maybe Mito!

Q: What's something a fan said that made you happy?

A. You know, I didn't used to read any fan letters at all. But there was a time I was getting tired of being an idol and I was planning to quit, so the president made me sit down and read all the letters I'd gotten. That was the first time I'd ever realized just how much support I was getting and it made me go "in that case, I'll give them all my love and support in return!". I even wrote a song about it. So now I treasure all the letters and words I get from my fans. I actually got a gift from a fan recently, some 'star sand'. It was really beautiful and my real name "star" in it, it made me really happy. I've still got it displayed in my room.

Q: What is "true love" to you?

A. I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd say true love is being a genius who doesn't lie. I think maybe people lie to avoid lying. I'm not sure if that's a good answer and even I don't know if it makes sense, but it's just something I feel.

Q: Do you think you're a liar?

A: Hmm~~? That's a se~cret! (laughs)

[scullysexual]

You're Never Just Anything To Me (14)

@today-in-fic | ao3 | Prev. Chapter

A look into Mulder and Scully’s relationship starting from Millennium going all the way up to Requiem.

XIV. All Things.

The room is dark when she wakes, the only light emitting from the TV which is turned down to the lowest possible volume without being on mute.

She is sideways, legs curled, her head leaning against a cushion which in turn leans against Mulder’s thigh. Scully shifts, untangles the blanket that has wrapped itself around her legs and when she looks up she finds Mulder watching her.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hey,” she answers with a yawn. “What time is it?”

“Late,” he tells her. “Past midnight. You looked fast asleep, I didn’t want to move you.”

Scully hums still feeling the pull of sleep trying to drag her back down. She shuffles closer, hitches a knee over his hip and settles down into his lap, her head finding a home beneath his chin.

Mulder chuckles nervously, hands hovering outstretched, unsure what to do.

“Scully, what are you doing?”

“I want to be close to you,” she answers with her eyes closed. She rests more comfortably against his chest. “Is this okay?”

“Is this…more than okay,” and his arms finally enclose around her.

She can’t get closer to him, she thinks. She wants to crawl her way inside his chest cavity, bury herself within him, become one of the same.

“Are you okay, Scully?” Mulder asks when he notes her fidgeting.

“Yeah, I just can’t…” She shifts and her centre grazes the slight raise of him. She gasps.

“Sorry,” he apologises but Scully shakes her head.

Silently, she climbs off of him, takes his hand.

“Come with me,” she says and leads him towards his bedroom.

She sits him down on the edge of the bed, starts to pull at her clothes, stripping them from her body, instructing Mulder to do the same.

“Like we were before,” she says and Mulder moves towards the centre of the bed, legs bent ever so slightly, his cock hard and upright between them.

Scully bites her lip as she stares at it, a desire lit beneath her. No matter how many times she has seen it her reaction never changes.

She hovers above him, hand wrapped around him as she pumps up and down a few times. Mulder sags against her chest while she uses his precum to wet his head.

They sigh in unison as she slides down onto him feeling the pleasant ache as she stretches around him. They stay like that, adjusting, until the need becomes too much for them.

Scully sets the pace, gliding up and down in slow, languid motions. Mulder holds onto her, thrusting up as much as she can, meeting her. His lips find hers, tongue invading, pushing its way into her mouth. She clutches at him, hands wrapped around his neck, fingernails digging into his skin. He growls into her mouth and she feels his own hands tightening around her hips, pulling her impossibly closer.

She is close now. Her head tips back and Mulder begins his exploration downwards, lips sucking and teeth biting at the skin of her neck. She feels herself being tipped backwards, a slow fall as Mulder changes their position. Above her now, her mouth is reclaimed by his and he begins thrusting into her with more control and determination.

On a particularly hard thrust, Scully yelps, a bout of pleasure bursting through her as she claws and scratches as every piece of Mulder that she can reach.

Later, she soothes one of her claw marks with her finger.

“Sorry,” she apologises, running her finger over the bottom of his neck.

Mulder chuckles. “It’s okay.” He takes her hand, presses a kiss to her palm, before lacing it with his own. “I think I marked you a little bit, too.” His own apologetic look sits on his face as his fingers brush over her neck. “Sorry,” he says offering his own apology.

“I don’t mind,” Scully answers.

“Really?”

“Really. I’m not scared of us anymore.”

Mulder smiles and she smiles back. He rolls them and Scully lets him, positioning her to lie on top of him. She lays beneath his chin, her eyes closing to the motion of his fingers skating up and down her spine.

“You were scared of us?” he asks.

“If we failed, how we could go back to how we were.” Mulder hums. “But I’m not scared anymore,” she says with certainty. “This is right.”

“Yeah, it is,” he says. She feels his arms and legs tighten around her, a big squeeze before she slowly drifts off to sleep.

[five-bi-five-mind]

May I please request, An unsub frames Reader for a lot of murders and reader is arrested and is sentenced to the death penalty. JJ and the team have a small amount of time to prove her innocence. (Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau X reader.)

Lost at Sea (Pt. 1)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k+

Summary: This isn’t quite the prompt, but I took a lot of inspiration from this request… JJ feels lost, not knowing at all of what happened. One minute she was finally happy, the next it was all just gone. But then she gets the called. You were in trouble, digging too deep into something you shouldn’t have. Framed for murder, you had a means to prove your innocence, JJ just couldn’t figure out why you were refusing.

Warnings: brief mentions of blood, lots of talk about kind of depression and anger, tons of mentions of a cult and brief mentions of murder (no details though)!

A/N: hi I’m sorry this wasn’t exactly what you asked for but I still wanted to use this request to post my first part as it is what gave me part of the inspiration! So no death penalty mentioned (although reader kinda has her own death sentence rn if you ask me…) also if anyone can guess the video game reference I based the cult around, you should come be my best buddy. (It’s super obvious too 😅…)

Series Master List || Part 2

(Gif not mine; credit to creator)

Part 1: Tides

JJ didn’t feel like herself, not anymore. She had gone through life feeling particularly numb since she started this job, but this was a whole other level. It was like part of her shut completely down, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get feeling back. This numbness was uncomfortable to say the least. 

She wished she could say she didn’t know why she shut down so hard. She wished she could say it was a passing phase, a particularly bad mood that just hadn’t gone away yet, but she knew that wasn’t the case. This feeling was going to last a long while. At this point, it felt like it was going to stick with her for the rest of her life. She couldn’t run from the feeling and she couldn’t chase it away. JJ was just left with this unbearable emptiness.

That’s how JJ found her body moving on autopilot to the gym at such an ungodly hour. No one would be there, that’s why she chose the middle of the night to drive all the way to Quantico and utilize one of its many facilities. So, with her gym bag slung over her shoulder, she made her way to the punching bag that was practically calling out to her. She didn’t bother with standards right now. Any other day she would use hand wraps, gloves, you name it. But tonight she didn’t care. She just wanted to take out her emotions on the bag in front of her, consequences be damned.

So that’s exactly what she did. JJ put her full force into every swing, not stopping for the sting she felt in her knuckles, not stopping to catch a breath, and not stopping to react to the sound of footsteps in the back of the room. She only cared about the feeling it was giving her right now, no attention was paid to the watchful eyes behind her. JJ just kept swinging. 

With sweat coating her skin and her chest heaving, she kept going. Each time her fists made contact with the bag, the satisfying thud of her punch filled her chest with something she couldn’t quite describe. The numbness was still there, but at least there was something else bubbling past it. Anger maybe? Confusion? She could feel it slithering through her veins with each hit. At least it was better than closing herself off again. That’s not what she wanted for herself, but try all she might, she couldn’t stop it from overwhelming her. 

And then she thought about it too much. Thoughts of all the progress she made flooded her mind, thoughts of how she was trying to be something more than what the job had made her. She thought she was being vulnerable, thought she was being what someone else could want and need. Her world had opened up for her for the first time since she didn’t even know when and then suddenly, without reason, without explanation, it was gone. It was just fucking gone. 

If JJ was pulling her punches before, she most certainly wasn’t now. She let out a yell or more like a heartbreaking, pain filled howl into what she thought was an empty room as her fists picked up the pace for a moment. But after that moment was over, after she yelled all she could yell, she slumped forward, catching herself onto the bag to hold herself up as she panted and struggled to catch her breath.

She shut her eyes tight, working on regaining composure. All she heard for a moment was the sound of her breathing and her own pulse pounding in her ears. But then, after just a moment the silence was broken. Not by her, but the silent onlooker. 

“Wow,” the voice said from the back of the room. “Impressive. Mind spotting me?”

JJ stiffened. She didn’t have to turn around to know who was waiting for her. JJ knew the voice well and was cursing herself that she let someone, let alone one of her teammates, see her like this. Grunting, JJ shoved herself off the bag and decided to make her way hastily past her friend. “Sorry, I’m heading home for the night.” She hoped that would be enough for her not to be questioned, but of course it wasn’t. 

“What are you even doing here at this hour?” Tara didn’t even miss a beat. As JJ picked up her gym bag and made her way to the locker rooms, Tara was right on her heels.

“I could ask the same thing,” JJ fired back, still looking ahead as she made her way to her own locker.

“Everyone knows I come here this early.” JJ hadn’t even realized it wasn’t the middle of the night anymore, it was starting to become early morning. 5:30 is what her watch said when she glanced down. She had been working out for a good while then. JJ wondered just how long she was being watched. 

When she made it to her particular locker she sat down on the bench in front of it. Pulling out what she needed to repack into her gym bag and taking out what she would want for later, because she was sure she’d be back at this again before the day was done. This being the only thing that helped the numbing feeling she was drowning in, she thought it might become a more frequent habit. 

JJ was so lost in what she was doing she forgot for a second that Tara was still standing by her with watchful eyes. That is, until they both stopped for a moment to eye the red and purple bruising of her knuckles mixed with the trickle of blood that ran down her hands.

“Okay,” Tara sat down right next to JJ on the locker room bench. “What’s going on with you?”

“I was training,” JJ’s answer was short as she checked out the damage to her hands. 

“I’ve seen training, that was not training,” Tara scoffed. “When you train you're focused, but today you were going to town on that punching bag like it personally offended you.” 

JJ didn’t say anything, just grunted as she continued to look into her knuckles, getting angrier by the minute from the mistreatment she put them through with her so-called “training.” Of course she wasn’t training. She came to blow off some steam, to blow up at something since she couldn’t just scream at an innocent coworker. She didn’t expect Tara to be in the gym getting ready for a work out at the same time. She thought she picked a good time when everyone would be away. Clearly, with the other woman sitting next to her, she was very wrong. It wasn’t even her intention to stay here that long. She just lost track of time. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” JJ’s voice came out a little more bitter than she intended it to, but at the same time, someone was interrupting her much needed alone time. It wasn’t her fault that Tara insisted on being in the line of fire for her bad mood.

“It’s about (Y/N), isn’t it?” JJ’s head snapped up in an instance at that and Tara knew she found her answer. “I knew there was something between you two and my suspicions only grew when I saw you moping around the minute she was gone.” JJ’s whole demeanor changed at this, her tense posture changing to one of defeat. So it was a little obvious huh? Of course it was if her closest friends were profilers. Still, she thought they would mind their own damn business. “So what exactly was going on?”

“We… I was in love, but I guess it’s over now.” JJ’s head hung low as Tara stared expectantly at her. She remained silent, as JJ kept her eyes glued to the floor. If she looked up at her friend’s face what would she find? Shock? Disapproval? Disappointment? She couldn’t take the chance of seeing any of it. If JJ were to be given any other reason to be more ashamed with herself than she already was, she wasn’t sure how she could bear it. It wasn’t like it was exactly a bad thing for you two to be involved with each other, at least not in JJ’s opinion. But you also were often called as a consultant on cases since Reid was gone and it felt almost as if you were becoming a permanent member of the team. You had worried it would look bad for JJ if people knew she was having a fling with someone she frequently worked with, so the two of you decided to wait before going public. 

“How long?” Was all Tara whispered into the stillness of the locker room. “How long were you two…” she drifted off. JJ hadn’t named what it was, just admitted that it was something and that there were feelings involved. At least on JJ’s side, that is. It seemed to the outside eye, given the circumstances, that you didn’t feel the same or at least JJ didn’t know if you did or not. Either way, Tara wasn’t about to name what you two had herself, she’d leave that to JJ. Let her share what she felt she could. It must have been important though, at least in Tara’s opinion, if it was affecting her friend so visibly. Tara might have been newer to the team, but from early on she learned that the blonde was usually a closed book. 

“I’m not sure really,” JJ mumbled as she nervously rubbed at her bloodied knuckles. “A few months maybe? It didn’t really have a start date. She came in for one case then another and each time we got closer and closer until…”

“Until you fell in love?” Tara offered.

“Yeah,” JJ finally looked up to meet Tara’s eyes. “It didn’t end when I realized I loved her though.” JJ continued to rub at hands nervously. She didn’t miss the way Tara flicked her eyes from her own to her knuckles, no doubt reading her for whatever scrap of emotion JJ failed to hide. Even while JJ was caught in a more vulnerable position by her friend and coworker, she was still quick to guard herself, only giving Tara what she already knew was too late to hide again. “I didn’t run this time, but I never told her,” JJ let out a bitter chuckle. “For all that we face, that’s what terrified me most. Maybe it’s because I waited too long.” 

“It’s not easy,” Tara’s hand fell onto JJ’s shoulder. “We’re taught to close ourselves off from the emotions that come with seeing what we see every day for our job, but sometimes we can carry that over into our personal lives.” 

“I tried,” JJ shut her eyes tight for a moment, willing her voice to stay steady as she was hit with so much pain. “I tried with her. She was the first person I ever did that for. But she still- she just…”

“Disappeared.” JJ could hear the irritation in Tara’s voice with that one word too. It wasn’t just her that was upset, it was everyone. No one got an answer for why you disappeared. No one got even the smallest goodbye. Not even JJ, who had thought for sure her feelings were reciprocated. But it could never work out like that, right? Not with who JJ is, not with the depressing and dark nature of her job that you somehow got dragged into. 

Everyone grew attached to you the moment you agreed to be a consultant for the BAU. You were bright, you were happy, your pep once rivaled Garcia’s. But then it started to fade slower and slower. No one else saw, but JJ sure did and she would lie awake for countless nights next to you, wondering what to do to bring that light back. She never did figure it out, and she would be lying if she didn’t expect you to leave, but she had hoped you loved her enough to figure it out. What she didn’t expect was for you to up and disappear without a word. 

At first, JJ was worried. It felt like her worst nightmares came to life, that you were kidnapped by some unsub she didn’t know about. Then, as she dug to find out where you might have gone she realized from your credit card purchase history, it was unmistakably you still using it. It was clear you were trying to get away, and all she could assume from the sudden radio silence was that you were trying to get away from her.

The two agents sat in silence on the locker room bench for a moment. Both going over so many different things in their minds. JJ’s mind spiraling for the millionth time on your leaving and Tara’s running over every possible reason you could’ve just up and left without even a goodbye. Maybe JJ and you weren’t out in the open, but Tara clocked that there was something more between you two the moment she saw the way you looked at each other. So the real question for her was, how could you break JJ’s heart like that? You didn’t seem like the type to just ghost a girl, let alone the whole team. Something else was going on, Tara felt it deep in her bones. She just didn’t know what, but she did know that JJ was too clouded with heartbreak to see it that way just yet.

Suddenly, Tara’s phone breaks both their spiraling trains of thought. The caller ID flashes with Emily’s name and immediately Tara accepts, knowing that if it was this early in the day, then it was absolutely urgent. 

There’s a brief greeting before she fell silent to listen to what Emily had to say. Muttering a “uh huh” a few times before the expression on her face grew more somber. 

JJ could hear how frantic Emily sounded on the other end, but couldn’t make out the words she was saying. Fortunately, JJ didn’t have to wait long before Tara removed the phone from her ear and clicked end on the call.

JJ was holding her breath for Tara’s next words, but she had no idea why. Tara’s face was unreadable, but JJ just had this intuition that something bad was happening. 

“It’s (Y/N).” Tara’s tone was grim. “She’s in trouble.” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took very little time for the team to devise a plan with the limited information they had after the news broke. JJ felt like her whole body was vibrating as she ran around the BAU trying to put out this new fire. And calling this situation a “fire” was an understatement. It was more like a gigantic explosion. Like her whole world was burning to the ground. 

Wanted for murder. Being held on at least three charges. That was ridiculous to say the least, but obviously the police had some strong evidence against you. JJ was going to fight this for you, she just had to learn how.

It didn’t matter to JJ why you left the minute she got the news. It didn’t matter how much heartache you gave her, how you brought her walls back up full force the minute you disappeared. Nothing mattered right now but getting you out of jail. JJ couldn’t begin to imagine the fear you felt. She knew you well, she knew you were innocent. In learning all she did, there was never one moment where she questioned your innocence in all this, and from what she saw of her team, they all agreed. So pain aside she was going to save you, the whole BAU was. 

That’s how she found herself speeding down the highway with Rossi behind the wheel, almost as anxious as she was. And that’s how she found herself letting Rossi take the lead, bursting into the federal jail and flashing credentials before anyone could even blink. 

Mere minutes was all it took for the people of the jail to set you up in an interrogation room so that JJ and Rossi could meet with you and get to the bottom of this garbage fire. The minute JJ saw you practically pushed into the room, she had to hold back a gasp at your appearance. You looked basically dead on your feet. Your face was incredibly pale, your eyes sunken and dark. JJ knew you well and guessed it had been a good while since you slept or even ate for that matter. She had to get you out of here, and from the brief glance she shared with Rossi, she knew he was thinking the exact same thing. 

When you both sat down, JJ let Rossi take the lead, lest she give away too much of her emotions. The switch from being overwhelmingly numb to incredibly furious hit the minute she saw your face. Not that she was furious at you. Hurt by you still, definitely. But not angry. No, she was angry at the people who put you here. Couldn’t they see that the innocent girl they had locked up like a monster wasn’t capable of any of this? 

“What are we doing here, (Y/N)?” Rossi was finally the first to speak. JJ’s nails were digging into her knees as she sat rigid on the seat across from you. She couldn’t bear to meet your eyes, even for a second so hers darted everywhere across the room but your face and yours seemed to do the same. Never in her life did JJ think she’d be terrified of an interrogation room, she was more than familiar with them by now, but there’s a first for everything. 

“I was poking around where I shouldn’t have…” you finally spoke. Your voice was quiet, hesitant, broken. It was the first words JJ has heard in weeks after begging whatever higher power would listen to let her hear it one more time. Her stomach twisted at the inkling of happiness she got from hearing you again, even if it was in such a small, pained tone. 

“I’ll say,” Rossi scoffed. “Poking around is a light way to put it if you’re here on multiple murder charges.” 

“I-“

“She didn’t hurt anybody.” JJ snapped before you could even begin to answer. 

“I know,” Rossi put his hands up in mock surrender. “I know that, you know that. We just have to convince them…” Rossi motioned to the room around them as if to mean the jail as a whole, “That this girl sitting next to us couldn’t hurt a fly.” Rossi leaned back on his chair and gave JJ a knowing look before turning his gaze back to you. He offered you a friendly smile and folded his hands back on the table. “Now, I’ll ask again. What are we doing here?”

“Do you remember months ago, when you investigated a cult? You called me in as a consultant, but before I could dig deeper you had already decided to rule out the cult…” you waited for a moment to make sure they were listening and knew of the group you spoke of. Rossi gave you an encouraging nod and you continued. “I didn’t stop digging and I found… everything.” 

“(Y/N), after that case I told you to leave it the hell alone.” JJ growled, nails digging harder into her knees as she struggled to keep it together.  “They’re a dangerous group to be mixed up in.” 

“Isn’t every cult?” Rossi interjected, before turning back to you. “So you continued to dig into this cult we ran into. What was it called… something stupid…” 

“The Chant.” You and JJ both say at once. JJ shot you an annoyed look at your eagerness to share all you know about the cult. JJ had begged Emily not to call you to consult on this, but you were the best in your field. A PhD in religious studies, specializing in ritual practice and folk religion, of course Emily was going to call. You were their go-to on religion based cases, without you they would’ve missed some key motives and insight into certain unsubs. JJ was always nervous, but also so proud to see you working with her work family. It was different, though, with this case. Something deep inside JJ screamed at her to keep you away from this group at all costs.

The team determined that the murders they were investigating were a deadend, but suspected the cult. It was just that every lead they had ended up going nowhere. Eventually, they had to move on. You were incredibly against just leaving and letting them be. JJ and the rest of the team had to practically drag you away. 

For what it was worth, you weren’t the only one who wanted to continue investigating them, Alvez did too. With his approval that only fueled your mission more to overturn every stone and uncover every clue, but it was JJ’s practical begging that had you finally turn away. Something, none of the team questioned. They may not have known that you two were more than friends, and on any other day maybe they’d be curious as to why you backed down so easily all of a sudden. However, most of the team was just relieved JJ could convince you. That alone told JJ she wasn’t the only one who didn’t like you sniffing around this Chant group. 

“But digging around on a dangerous cult usually gets you killed, not incarcerated.” Rossi commented as he continued to put the puzzle pieces together. 

“It was a clever move on their part,” you offer dryly.

 “They were already under suspicion for murder. One more body, one more step closer to getting shut down.” Rossi put the puzzle pieces together. 

“Exactly,” you nodded. “But I got too close, found out too much and I wasn’t exactly careful…”

“Of course you weren’t,” JJ scowled. 

You just ignored her and continued. “I knew they figured out I was looking into them when some of them showed up to a lecture I was giving, badly disguised might I add. They wear these crystals they can never take off without breaking a major law within their group. It’s a dead giveaway and-“ 

“We can go over the details of the cult later,” Rossi interrupted, not wanting to reveal too much in a monitored space. “You still haven’t answered how they put you here.” 

“Right right,” you took a deep breath before going back to your story. “When I saw them at my lecture, I knew they’d follow me. I know how they work, how they pick their victims, how they deal with those who know too much. I know what they do, not just to the person, but their whole family so on that day I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t let them follow me to-“ your eyes flick to JJ and you stop for a moment. “I couldn’t let them follow me home, so instead I just ran. What I didn’t expect was them to use my office to plant evidence in my absence and get me arrested.”

“So you fleeing… that just looks like you’re running from the cops and not running from a crazy, murderous cult.” Rossi finally connected the last piece. He seemed almost triumphant in this revelation.

“They have solid evidence against me,” you hung your head low. “The Chant is crafty.”

“They’ve got bullshit,” Rossi snorted. “Compared to what we deal with everyday, proving your innocence is child’s play.” You searched Rossi’s eyes for any sign of doubt but his facial expression was unwavering as he sat on the other side of the table from you. Finally, you chanced a short glance at JJ’s face, but it was her eyes that told you a different story than Rossi’s. It was her eyes that betrayed Rossi’s confident declaration. She didn’t believe him. “The whole team is on this case for you, kid. Give us a little bit of time, we’ll get you back home.”

Home. Regardless of getting out, could you even go home? Go back to a life where you could continue to be in love with JJ and build a future together? No, you didn’t think so. The cult would hunt you until either you were dead or all their members were. Considering this cult has been around since the 70s, discreetly murdering people for decades, you didn’t think the second option was very likely. You weren’t safe at home and more importantly, JJ wasn’t safe near you. But you weren’t even safe in jail, knowing the cult had eyes everywhere. Your only option, when you get out of here, was to hide again. Not much of a future? Maybe, but at least you were surviving until you could find a solid way to expose the Chant.

In a perfect world, this whole mess would lead to you blowing the case on the cult wide open and running back into the arms of your beautiful, blonde, hero that was currently sitting across from you with the most heartbreaking expression you’ve ever seen. But that was in a perfect world. You meant it when you said they were crafty and you also knew you really fucked up. Yes, you learned almost all there was to learn about the Chant, but you weren’t careful and you’re pretty sure they were able to learn almost all there was to learn about you in return. Hopefully, they hadn’t learned of the little secret relationship you had with the girl sitting across from you. Part of you thought they surely couldn’t, especially when you didn’t think the team knew. A larger part of you doubted that, but couldn’t take that chance. 

Rossi and JJ both noticed your silence when Rossi mentioned you going home. To anyone else, hearing the BAU was on the case and you’d be going home would’ve garnered some sort of positive reaction, but JJ saw through your silence. There was a lot more to this than they had uncovered yet, JJ could tell from just looking into your eyes. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe that they could get you home, JJ knew that you understood the skill and success their team had. It wasn’t that you wanted to stay in jail. JJ knew you were smart enough to know that being here wouldn’t protect you like the team could protect you. No, it was something else. Something that made the little voice in the back of her mind scream at her that it was her that you wanted to be away from her, but she pushed that voice back. She didn’t have all the pieces to this puzzle yet, but she was going to find them. 

For the next few hours JJ and Rossi spent the time with you pouring over any detail they could pry out of you. Neither of them missed the way you held back on a lot of their questions or the way your eyes darted around the room, trying to discover who else might be watching. When JJ was given some other files requested, she read through them thoroughly while you and Rossi went over a few more details to the evidence they found. Then, JJ stopped when she looked at the details from one of the murders. The date and time is what caught her eye and she immediately shot up in her chair. 

“This is it!” She slapped the file back down onto the table and her eyes burned with triumph as she waited for you to look at the file. You and Rossi glanced at it for a moment before both silently looking up at her for more of an explanation. “Look at the time frame for this murder,” JJ tapped her finger right where it said the time. “You have an alibi for this one. Wait actually…” JJ shuffled through the other murder charges, checking the date and time for each. “You have one for all of them.” 

You sat back, crossing your arms to your chest and giving her a stern look. This was it, you were hoping she wouldn’t have noticed, but it was JJ and she was good at her job. Of course she would notice. “Jennifer…” you warned. 

“(Y/N), you were with-”

“Don’t.” 

JJ’s jaw snapped shut when you cut her off with a voice harsher than she’s ever heard directed towards her. JJ stood up at that, chair scraping loudly against the hard floor of the interrogation room. “What? Why didn’t you tell them you had an alibi?” JJ’s voice grew louder as she accused you. This could’ve all been avoided if you just told them you were with another BAU agent the night the investigators placed the time of death. No one would question your alibi if you just said something. So why didn’t you? “Do you think I care if they know? (Y/N), just tell them, all those nights you and I were-”

“Stop!” You pleaded. If she said the words out loud, you weren’t sure if all who were listening to them were to be trusted. Yes, you had a solid alibi, but it could’ve put her in danger if the cult knew about JJ. It was bad enough now that JJ knew the cult was what drove you away and landed you in jail, there was no doubt in your mind that JJ wouldn’t try to start some wild hunt for them if you didn’t find some way to convince her to back off. But if the cult knew about how important she was to you? In all honesty, they might already, but there was still a chance they didn’t and you held onto that hope that she was still somewhat safe from the mess you got yourself into.

JJ’s hands slamming on the table in front of you is what sent you back to reality from your inner turmoil about keeping JJ safe. “I don’t care if they know.” JJ emphasized every single word. Obviously, that wasn’t what this was about, but for JJ’s sake hopefully that’s all she thought it was. If she thought for a moment that you were trying to protect her she’d scoff in your face and risk her safety to prove a point that she didn’t need your protection. She was strong, sure, but from what you learned, the cult was immensely powerful and you didn’t think the BAU team’s strength combined would be enough to take them down until you could devise a plan on your own. “We’re using that alibi and you’re going home.”

“No. I am not.” You demanded through gritted teeth. There’s no way in hell. The minute you use that to get yourself free, the Chant will get their hands on it and use this piece of information against you. “JJ, I don’t want to do that.”

“I don’t give a fuck!” JJ practically took a fist full of the files as she began to turn from the table and storm out of the room. 

“JJ, wait a minute!” Rossi jumped up behind her. “Maybe we should listen to her reason about-”

“I don’t give a damn about reason.” JJ turned on him quick, a storm of anger and frustration brewing in her eyes. “(Y/N) and I were together for each of these times of death. She wasn’t alone in her home, she was with me for the whole night, each night. We’re together and I’m pretty sure there’s footage on my security cameras proving the times of her coming and leaving my place.” JJ turned back around, files clutched tightly to her chest. “We’re using this alibi and you’re going home with me. You won’t stay here another minute longer than you have to. I’ll see to that.” JJ’s voice was shaking in anger as she said her last words.

You watched helplessly as Rossi shot you a concerned look before following JJ out. You slumped back in your chair while you waited for someone to escort you back out.

Well, this wasn’t good. You knew that you’d be found innocent at some point, but you thought it would be awhile. Afterall, when you made that phone call to Emily for help, you begged and pleaded for her to keep it to herself and get some outside help. Of course, that is the exact opposite of what happened. You should’ve known. The BAU were fiercely loyal to each other and you underestimate the degree in which they adopted you into their little work family. 

You had hoped that in the time it took Emily to help you out, you’d have come up with a plan to get distance from JJ again for her own safety while you tried to figure out your next move against the cult. Of course, that all went to shit with the stubborn insistence of the blonde. Honestly, you weren’t shocked. 

This wasn’t going to go the way you wanted it to, it already took a horrible turn. Deep down, though, you feared the worst was yet to come. 

tag list:@mmmmokdok @demonicbaby666 @daddy-jareau @geekyandgay98

[bunnylovesani]

I know you said that you want to move on from this, but I have to tell you my thoughts because I can’t stop thinking about all of this.

I am a content creator as well, and I write for Anakin. I have been writing for various characters from various shows for years on here, and nothing - nothing - is more toxic than this fandom right now.

From everything I’ve witnessed, I can only attribute it to one person. Indy.

Unfortunately he cannot be helped because of how vain he is, which aren’t even my words. They are his. And it would be fine, if he just left other people alone.

But indy is a bully. A big bully. He polices this whole fandom like he’s got nothing better to do at all. And I’m so sick of it. It makes me and other creators feel like we have to walk on eggshells when we post on here (thus why I am anon. Because god forbid indy sees this, and his little squad of bitter rejects try to ‘cancel’ me too - which, don’t even get me started on cancel culture).

Indy has been called out for creating things before that other people don’t like. His advice? “Just block, don’t read, keep scrolling.” How fucking hard is it to practice what you preach, rather than dragging a new person through the mud each week?

Not to mention, that shit indy was spewing a few weeks back about “not liking how other creators are writing about Anakin because it’s not correct” ? “Be careful with my toy?” “I’m taking him back until you can learn how to handle him correctly?” What kind of entitlement let’s him believe Anakin is HIS to write for only. Anakin is not his idea. He is not his toy. He is George Lucas’s idea that EVERYONE can enjoy, and play with.

And his opinion is not the only correct one out there. I don’t care how much “character studying” he’s done, he can be wrong. Other people can “character study” and come up with completely different conclusions about Anakin. And he can also just let people write what they want to write. Don’t like it? Block, don’t read, keep scrolling. Stop fucking posting about it and laying claim to something that was never his to begin with.

I tried to support indy, because again, he is a phenomenal writer. but he’s way too problematic. It makes me sick seeing his name pop up on my feed, cause that blog literally emits toxic energy.

I am sorry he sunk his claws into you.

Anyways, this isn’t about indy. He was told it was a private matter so he had no reason to butt his big head in anyway. This is about you and Ava.

While Ava may have written an Anakin stalker au, she DOES NOT own it. Nobody own that. Cause nobody owns the ideas of stalkers, and nobody owns the idea of Anakin except GL and Disney. Your work does not resemble hers even slightly. And whose to say someone else hasn’t already written that au in the past? Maybe it’s buried somewhere in tumblr’s vaults. Do they own that idea? Should you dig through years of posts and credit them somehow?

The whole idea is ridiculous. You credit people for their original ideas if you are inspired by them and have permission to use it. You do not need to ask permission or credit something that belongs to everyone.

I could start writing about, I don’t know, firefighter!anakin right now - do I then OWN that au?

Fuck no!

We are all here for the same reason. To write fake scenarios about fake people. Of course, don’t blatantly steal peoples words and ORIGINAL ideas, but the fact that people are spouting all this bullshit about OWNING these common au-ideas now is crazy. Unless you’ve done some kind of world-building or OC-creating, that shit is not original. It’s been done before and it will be done again. Cry about it.

Now let’s bring the linecook Anakin au into consideration. How is it fair that Tilly can write about it, not credit anyone, and get away scotch free? Why didn’t she get called out like you did?

Granted she took it down, but I still think it’s horseshit. Nobody owns that idea. I’ve seen it used for so many different characters on various platforms. She did not have to take it down for some bullshit law indy place on this fandom.

I really am saddened that so many people got dragged into this. Ava left; an amazing content creator. Tilly deleted her work; also an amazing creator. And indy continues to show his true colors; an entitled asshole who can’t let anyone breathe on here.

I want to go back to when this shit was enjoyable. Now all I see on my feed is people throwing each other around because no one can play nice anymore.

Don’t steal peoples ideas. But don’t claim ideas as your own if they are NOT original.

I am on your side bunny. I think you’ve made some very good points, and I commend you for keeping your work up and for standing up for yourself.

At the end of the day, you are a victim of circumstance. I truly just think people need to stop dick riding indy. And I know if he ever sees this, he’ll try to make some witty comeback that only halfway makes sense. he always sounds so defensive when he tries too hard to make it seem like he doesn’t care. He probably cries himself to sleep over these things. I think he needs that.

DAMN ANON. Wish I knew who you were so I could kiss you.

I second everything you’ve said. Blocking me without giving me the chance to respond or explain to a public post made about me was very high and mighty as well as cowardly of him.

I don’t have much more to add since I said I was done talking but I’m gonna post this masterpiece so others can read it.

Seriously thank you for taking the time to write this out and share your valuable thoughts, much love ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[purplerakath]

MiyagiDo Karate and Protagonist Morality

So when I watched the first two seasons this bothered me and then last weekend I watched everything else (thus far)... and this still bothered me. So here we are.

Spoilers for all five released seasons of Cobra Kai (although I'll mainly be talking about Demetri, Sam, Danny, and Hawk).

Before I get started...

As much as I'm criticizing the writing of these characters, I don't think the characters are bad, or hate the show. I just think more could be done with them, or in the case of Sam they could have started the ball rolling sooner and she could be a better character than she is.

Except Demetri, they really screwed the pooch on his writing.

Protagonist Morality

So I guess I should explain this term. Protagonist morality is where a show doesn't question the behavior of it's protagonists, assuming that whatever action they've taken is morally correct (for the setting). In a video game, you know all those unguarded chests full of stuff for you. The ones all across the countryside and in towns and often people's houses? The ones you can loot freely and nobody cares or is concerned with all the robbery you're doing?

That's protagonist morality. If the game labels you a thief and you get run out of public spaces for your actions, then the game is labeling your actions as maybe less than a paragon of virtue, and giving you reason to think about it. (Then you do it anyway because it's really nice loot.)

So what about the ACTUAL protagonists?

Johnny, Miguel, and Robby are questioned and judged by the narrative constantly. They generally do things right for them, but not universally seen as correct. And generally the narrative is about them moving forward and making less questionable calls.

The whole point of the start of S2 is that Johnny realizes "No Mercy" is a bad motto, because it just gets people hurt, and changes his teachings to match this bit of character growth. Characters backslide, Johnny and Robby both crash spectacularly at the start of Season 3. Each needs to dig themselves out of the hole their in all through Season 3 (Johnny) and 5 (Robby).

So the show never treats them as not needing growth, as the show is all about their growth.

Daniel

Danny is a hyper-judgmental asshole due to unresolved trauma from his youth and it's a problem. But also the show would be a lot less interesting if he worked through all of this in a timely fashion. Primarily the issue is his reaction to "Cobra Kai" just being back at all, and how he never once gets pushed to question if Cobra Kai in Johnny's hands changed.

Some of this is miscommunication, which is the cornerstone of the Unresolved sexual Karate Tension with Johnny. But his absolute refusal to see good in Cobra Kai had a direct hand in breaking up Sam and Miguel in Season 1 and Danny... came out of it believing he was right.

And when he goes out of his way to try and destroy the S1-2 era of Cobra Kai, the narrative never once actively punishes him for his prejudice. He's also never forced to face why he's like this. It's kind of shit but very much a plot lodestone.

Sam

Like her father, Sam often rushes to a moral judgement on bad info and never goes back. Even if she's wrong. So much of her Season 1 behavior is swept under a rug so that other characters (Kyler, Yaz, Miguel) can be her personal villain. And the worst being Season 2 with Tory.

Sam rushed to 'all Cobras are evil' while in a plot trying to fix her friendship with her best friend, she instigated things with Tory, and blamed Tory for all of it without having to think about why she's following her father so readily. Of course, with the end of Season 2 it didn't matter what her behavior was prior, she had every justification to treat Tory as her own personal satan.

Fortunately for me, and everyone else who likes Sam, most of the later seasons focus real hard on having her grow as a person. Maybe not facing all of her personal failings, but she does grow past them in respectable ways. And while her behavior toward Tory is... still bad, Tory is her personal anxiety attack she's allowed it now. (Unlike someone else.)

She also unpacks some of the prejudice she learned from her dad. Sneaking off behind his back to learn Eagle Fang and figure out before Father Dearest that balance is better than pigheaded arrogance of your own greatness. Leading to the Season 4 finale and her mixed styles.

Demetri Hawk

Before I rant about Demetri, I need to explain why Hawk's narrative, regardless of his failures, is better. Eli starts the show with a clearly defined failing (confidence and courage), focuses hard on overcoming it (through Cobra Kai Karate), and turns him into someone new.

That new person is a loud abrasive asshole, but it's a growth arc.

When Hawk behaves badly, it's treated as a start of darkness. As he grows to love having the power his weaker nerdy self lacked. His acts of vengeance make sense as the flexing of power he's never had before. To the point he becomes the sort of bully he feared. His reactions are all overreactions and that's good writing. You understand why he beats Kyler's flunky to a bloody pulp, it's cathartic but also framed as an act of pure violence and destruction. He needs to live in his anger, his violence, listening to the whispers Kreese offers.

Season 3 is Hawk struggling to choose between good and evil, and in the end he chooses good. Leading him on the path toward balance and being better than either side of him before. Honestly of every character in the show his path is the best defined.

Now Demetri

Demetri is a anxious pessimistic leech. He feels he'll fail before he starts, and therefore doesn't try. He rides the coattails of his friends as they become cool and popular and Hawk was right to call him out. But rather than investigate that, he becomes the target of Hawk's new villain arc, and rushes to the arms of MiyagoDo.

Where he proceeds to never actually face who he was, and just... get to be a cool martial artist with a hot girlfriend as the show sweeps his negative traits under a rug and never touches them.

The narrative never confronts how 'it's fine for me to reap the benefits of your hard work' (start of season 2) or 'I can humiliate my best friend by spilling all his secrets then hide behind my badass martial artist friends' (late season 2) were bad calls, because at the end of the season he just... gets to beat up Hawk to establish the full defeat of Johnny's Cobra Kai.

Directly into Season 3 where he's just as aggressive and antagonistic as Sam is, while neither is treated as being 'over the line' by the narrative. Which is all before Hawk breaks Demetri's arm, meaning he doesn't have the extant trauma reason Sam has.

By Season 5 Demetri is a pretty cool person, but as there's no actual focus on how he got there, it feels cheap. Which really sucks.

What I'd Write-

I don't want to rewrite the whole show, and that makes Danny hard to fix. As so much of him is that paranoia of Cobra Kai. Like- best I could ask for is him going to therapy and trying to work past it (and just being bad at it).

Sam the easy answer is Aisha not forgiving her (at least during S1-2). Where Sam tries to get Aisha back, but every time she either says something about Cobra Kai, or Miguel, or Tory and Aisha points out Sam hasn't given any of them a fair shot, and that Sam has no room to talk after dating Kyler and being Yaz's friend.

Bonus points if Sam also gets taken to task for her going after Tory when Tory was working. Because Amanda already got Tory fired once, but she felt bad about it.

Demetri has a similar route of 'best friend does not forget.' A simple 'why should I ever trust you again' after Moon's party would go a long way to rub Demetri's face in what he did, how he was as bad as everyone who made fun of Hawk's lip at school. How Demetri, for one brief moment, was worse than Kyler.

I want all the characters to either get the kind of care in how they change direction that Miguel has, and failing that being absolutely perfect like Devon (the only person to join Silver's Cobra Kai and not turn evil).