#no i will not stop roasting him until he stops dressing like 90's and early 2000's icons
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live-from-flaturn · 1 year ago
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why does he look like he's about to participate in an elaborate international scheme to get his parents back together after meeting his twin at summer camp?
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via tuesatur @ twitter | 12092023
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ndcicic · 3 years ago
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present with
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Today, Lauren has chosen to come to the office he could comfortably have retired from a decade ago dressed in a melange of hiker, biker and cowboy: below a pale purple down jacket he is sporting some fringed grey leather cowboy trousers and a pair of battered biker boots with a touch of tassel to them. This is not a uniform, though; he has happily appeared in public wearing head to toe Lauren tailored tweed, matinee idol tuxedo jackets (teamed with jeans) and even a sarong. "I live different lives," he says, "but my product and myself, it's the same thing Anti fashion fashion, whatever you want to call it, but something that's meant to be timeless.
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asp1990 · 6 years ago
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DAY 7-10: Saturday 29th December 2018 – Tuesday 1st January 2019
A combo entry! 
SATUDAY: We left for Slovakia at 9am on Saturday morning and picked Miki’s friend Marta up from the train station in the Warsaw city centre. It was a bit stressful finding our way on to the right highway, which resulted in Miki and Lachlan having an argument, so a lot of the trip was spent with Lockie sulking, me staring out the window and Miki & Marta talking in Polish in the back seat. 
We stopped at a supermarket to stock up on food and drinks for the weekend and I paid 370 złote ($140) all up. Back in the car, we let Lockie sulk while we made small talk. We stopped at various petrol stations to get snacks and fill up the car and Lockie needed rest stops. He felt unwell, but Miki made him eat and it helped. 
The drive took about 9 hours. The roads were tricky and the drivers were even worse. Lockie was an absolute star to drive the whole time and not lose his temper. We arrived at about 7pm, and everyone else was already settled in. There were 12 of us in total. Lockie and I were a bit overwhelmed when we first arrived and sorting out rooms was a bit tricky - luckily we sorted it out so that Lockie and Miki had their own room and I was in the loft with Marta. I was not keen on sleeping in a room with people that I didn’t know. We started drinking and settled in and it was so lovely that everyone in the house made the effort to speak in Polish so that Lockie and I could understand. I am always so jealous of people that can speak multiple languages fluently. 
The house was just beautiful – I would never buy it, but it had SO much character! It was 2 stories high, with a 3rd level made up of 2 rooms in the attic, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, an upstairs lounge and a kitchen/dining area downstairs – where we spent most of our time. There were mugs hanging on the ceiling, plates and axes mounted on the wall and a massive fireplace in the corner, which Lockie made his job to tend to all weekend.
I went to bed at about 1am and slept well. It got so hot though! Lachlan had lit the fire downstairs, and being in the roof, the heat rose right up. I hadn’t packed any dresses or shorts because everyone kept telling me it would be freezing haha
SUNDAY: I woke up at 8am to the sound of people talking downstairs in the kitchen. I went down to see that a veritable feast was being prepared. Agata had brought so many homemade pastes, spices and herbs from home and liked to prepare everything from scratch (I was blown away because usually UberEATS is the deal in a hung-over Australian house haha – this was not an option in Slovakia). They made a cold cut platter of meat, cheese, cucumber, tomato and bread and Lockie made pancakes with chocolate sauce or maple syrup. The girls also made a pot of lemon and ginger tea after everyone had finished eating – how lovely. Everything tasted amazing and the clean up afterwards was a real chore. 
The Polish crew all got ready to visit an abandoned castle in town, but the three of us wanted to do our own thing. I had a shower in the downstairs bathroom and it was just a bath a loose showerhead in it. Luckily, I wasn’t washing my hair, so I just awkwardly hosed myself down and jumped out. I thought the boys were going to take the 3 dogs for a walk on their own, but just as I was about to sit down and read my book, Lockie called out and asked if I was coming. So I went! We dressed warm and went for a stroll through the town before heading off the road in to a field, so that the dogs had room to run. The walk up the hill was a bit tricky, but it was worth the beautiful views once we got there. The dogs were going nuts and it started to snow! Photo opp time! We got some gorgeous shots, then started to head back down after Miki got a call from Marta saying that they were all going to the pub for dinner. We dropped the dogs back home then walked down as a big group.
The pub looked like an old log cabin and had these awesome, medieval, wooden menus. Luckily, the last 3 pages were all in English, so Lockie and I could choose something to eat. I chose baked Camembert with cranberry sauce and potatoes – it was so delicious! Lockie had some soup, fish and chips and the others all had gnocchi and Pierogi. We had beer and mulled wine and it was delightful ☺
Back at the house, the Polish crew asked me to teach them some “Australian Drinking Games”, so I taught them King’s Cup and Spoons. They loved both. We also played the mime version of Heads Up (an app like Charades) which was hilarious. Again, their English was so much better than I thought it would be, and they were able to guess most words. I tried to also teach them Flip Cup, but it was hard to explain and I soon gave up. After playing 3 consecutive drinking games, I started to feel a bit unwell, so excused myself to bed at about 2am.
MONDAY - NYE: After sleeping on L&M’s couch for a week and feeling the need to get up when they did, I reveled in sleeping in the roof with my own space. I decided to sleep in until 10.30am then watched an episode of Friends on my iPad, before making my way downstairs. Everyone was operating a bit slower than usual after a big night, and they told me that the boys had not gone to bed until 7am. A huge pot of scrambled eggs with onion and tomato had been prepared, again by Agata, and it was a delicious way to start the day with some coffee and orange juice.
I spent 25 minutes cleaning up the mess from brekky (as I had not had the chance to contribute to cooking/cleaning yet) and as soon as I was done, the girls started making more snacks (read: mess). Sigh. I went upstairs to watch the latest episode of RuPaul’s All Stars with Miki and Lockie. Lockie had to keep going downstairs to check on the freshly made cinnamon scrolls that he was making for everyone, but we got through the whole episode in the end.
We had the cinnamon scrolls for afternoon tea, which literally blew the minds of the Polish crew. Everyone was silent while eating them and then showered Lockie in compliments afterwards. One girl, who we’d hardly seen the whole trip, gave him a hug to say thank you for making something so delicious. Adorable. 
Miki and I set about making some dinner with the leftover food that we had – he let me dice the pumpkin, then he did everything else. He never lets me help haha. The dinner took about 2 hours to make (they roasted the vegies in the fire and made the pasta sauce from scratch – this again, blew my mind haha) and we ate at around 7pm. Everyone was still feeling a bit dusty from the night before, so the drinking was a bit less tonight and we settled for playing card games over a bottle of wine. 
Lockie and I went upstairs, in to the attic, to play Rummiking and listen to musicals. We had a HUGE catch up about work and life and only came down when we needed water haha. Miki visited us with drinks and some delicious corn fritters that he had made (so much homemade cooking – I’m not used to it!). We played a game of Taboo with the Polish Crew as they wanted to play/practice in English and I loved seeing them proud of how well they were able to explain words to me haha.
At 11:55pm, we all headed outside with bottles of champagne and sparklers. We counted down and then a world of fireworks happened around us! It appeared that everyone in the town had bought fireworks, except us, so we were able to just stand and enjoy as the houses around us competed for who had the biggest/loudest firecrackers. The dogs were a bit upset by all the noise, but overall it was a fantastic way to bring in the New Year!
We came back inside and kept playing Taboo for another hour before I headed to bed. The words were starting to get a bit repetitive and the more the Polish crew drank, the harder it became for me to guess or explain the words.
A very laid-back NYE – not what I’m used to haha, but lovely nonetheless.
TUESDAY – NYD: We all slept in this morning. Marta and I woke up at about 10.30am and immediately started packing up our belongings – we had a long drive home ahead of us. Miki made Lockie and I some coffee and a leftover cinnamon scroll (bless him), and I then went downstairs to help pack up the kitchen. I wasn’t sure who had brought what with them, so I just stuck to washing all the dishes and putting them away. Marta, Lockie, Miki and I were all ready to go at 12pm, so we said goodbye to everyone else (who were still in the early stages of packing – I think they were planning on spending most of the day there) and jumped in the car. A lot of snow had fallen overnight, so it was a gorgeous drive down the mountain, through villages and forests covered in white. Yay snow! I made Lockie pull over so that I could take a photo haha.
We were aiming to get Marta back to Warsaw train station for a 7.25pm train, so didn’t make many long stops. Our longest was probably at the highway McDonalds for lunch, because it was so packed. We just got take away and then jumped back on the road. We listened to an episode of RuPaul’s podcast, with Kristin Chenoweth, then I put on a 90’s playlist to keep everyone pumped. 
The time was cutting thin for Marta to make her train, so she started looking in to a ride-share option with some Ukrainian guy. It is not something that I would ever consider, but she said that she had used the service before and had also hitchhiked a lot around Europe. We got to the station at 7.26pm. Dammit! We said goodbye to Marta and wished her luck on her weird adventure home. 
By the time we got home, Marta had messaged Miki and said that the train had been delayed, so she had, in fact, gotten a train. Phew - a much safer option than a random ride! The 3 of us, back at the apartment, ordered pizza and watched the Netflix new-release Bird Box. It was really good!- definitely worth a watch. Miki then went to bed, while Lockie and I watched some weird show about the absence of sex and physical contact in Japan. I was hesitant to watch it, but it was actually very interesting. 
It is good to be back in Warsaw, with only 3 people in the house instead of 12, but I had such a wonderful time! The Polish crew was so lovely and accommodating and I will forever be thankful that they let me crash their NYE plans. What a bunch of legends ☺
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deliciouslyexplosive · 6 years ago
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Cedar Point Headcanons
This gets long. Only the bigger coasters for now since I haven’t been on or really care about the smaller kid/family ones.
Blue Streak-
A sweet old fellow, used to be more rowdy in his youth but has had to slow down over the years, but not as much so as some wooden coasters. Sort of generic-looking average-built old man, looks sort of like the typical mental image of the guys who actually make coasters. Wild about anything blue, especially towards the lighter or cyan side and exclusively wears that color. A real peacekeeper, on good terms with just about everyone in the park being the oldest coaster there.
Corkscrew-
A someone eccentric, but serious older lady. White/dark blue hair, thin, boxy figure, very 70s sense of style. Something of a wine mom. Loves to shut down dirty jokes/negative comments (especially from Magnum) with godawful wine/patriotic jokes or wholesome twists. Makes cursed jello salads.
Gemini-
Nerdy old identical twins, somewhat similar in appearance and personality to Blue Streak but more into that sweet 70s aesthetic than blue. They really don’t think much of younger (mid-80s and later) Arrows like Magnum since they’re too much for them to handle but get along very well with older B&Ms. Somewhat awkward and standoffish, and not too talkative, but nice once you get to know them. A decent and stable source of authority in the park who aren’y corrupted by a quiet lust for chaos like Blue Streak.
Iron Dragon-
Very petite lady, imaginative and fond of make-believe games like looking for shapes in clouds, Dungeons and Dragons, and pretending she has theming. Good with kids because of that, sometimes comes out to entertain guests in long lines. Like other Arrow suspended coasters, she tends to hide pain or serious problems from others behind a cheerful exterior, and some at the park worry she may not have long left since her kind often doesn’t live as long as more typical steel coasters because of the stress of the swinging on the track.
Magnum XL-200
An egotistical, vulgar, but surprisingly dependable drama queen who still thinks he’s top of the line. He constantly talks about fucking and makes terrible naughty jokes about anyone and everyone until they shoo him away (slapping does nothing... he’s actually into that lmao). Dresses in full 80s glam/sexy rocket ship regalia with crazy red hair, full makeup, way too much spandex, giant stupid shoulder pads, and hardcore cheekbones. Sometimes rocks a Madonna bullet bra even. Extremely energetic, very off key but dramatic singer, awful driver. His personality makes him someone you either love or hate, though he’s softened a little over time. An item with Vortex over at Kings Island and regularly drives three hours+ nonstop to reach him, he’s very determined and would do anything for his friends/family/lovers
Mean Streak/Steel Vengeance:
Mean Streak was a sadsack all his life and just wallowed in it, feeling hopeless due to being such an inherently shitty ride layout-wise and a massive resource drain. And then Mean Streak had a midlife crisis and got RMCd and started parading around as a wannabe outlaw. And grew half a foot, decided to out-Maverick Maverick and thus steal her heart, and came out as a lady. The last one surprised absolutely nobody, there had been a lot of signs. She doesn’t mind and actually prefers being referred to as male when discussing Mean Streak since she wants to distance herself from being that person and really loves roasting Mean Streak.
Anyways, SV is nucking futs and shockingly agile and bouncy for being pretty bulky and well-endowed. As said before, she fancies herself an outlaw, talks in a laughably fake country accent (her natural voice is midwestern), carries one of those toy guns with the little “bang” flag, and drunkenly crashes park shows at times and joins in dancing (surprisingly well). Used to fuck with the park train by holding fake robberies that consist of begging people for Cheetos and trying to recreate Buster Keaton stunts. She stopped that shit fast after being lectured about safety and rules, every coaster person’s weakness. Kind of (a huge) dumbass and impulsive as hell but makes up for it in charm and passion and certainly brings some excitement wherever she goes. May be lowkey into vore. And highkey loves boobs and a huge lesbian (much to the disappointment of Magnum who’s had a lowkey crush on her his whole life).
Raptor-
A tree stump of a guy, with thin, spiky hair, a constant glare of disapproval, and some kind of 90s windbreaker on no matter the weather. Very much the stern, no fun sort, with little tolerance for most other coasters at the Point except his buddy Rougarou and the older Arrows. Just an overall stubborn and not terribly loveable guy, but hardworking and dependable as B&Ms tend to be. Him and Magnum mutually hate each other.
Rougarou
More friendly than Raptor, but still the aloof sort. Very hairy and apparantly bleeds green. Shoots the shit with on the beach and complains about the youngins with Raptor, but their feelings are mutually entirely platonic. Dresses in generally modest or heavy clothing. Don’t speak to him about Mantis. Just don’t. They are the same person, but he holds MUCH more animosity towards his old identity than Steel does and doesn’t even appreciate joking about it like her.
Millennium Force-
Serene, graceful, sort of supermodel-like lady. Willowy but surprisingly strong, kind and generally accepted as authority within the park, to Magnum’s disappointment. She’s actually a bit lonely because she tends to seem so unapproachable to others and they don’t get close to her or fall in love with her as a coaster only. Long hair, fishnets, form-fitting and sometimes skimpy outfits.
Wicked Twister-
A grating, annoying guy who likes grating, annoying things like early 2000s pop music and bright colors. Never really grew up past his teenage years and lives on curly fries and soft serve. Fortunately, a number of the flats in his area are also that way, so good for him.
Top Thrill Dragster-
Nervous and flighty as hell, absolute beanpole of a guy, once got tricked into being Henry from Thomas the Tannk Engine for Halloween and tbh that’s not a bad comparison. Physically fragile, but very coordinated and a good sprinter despite his lanky limbs. Sometimes goes on joyrides in “borrowed” cars with Magnum, who ‘s been trying to get him out of his shell to mixed success. His sense of humor certainly wiped off on him, much to everyone’s annoyance. He’s terrified of rain and lunch meat, because it looks like a warped brake fin to him.
Maverick-
Even more of a tree stump than Raptor, snappy little lady who used to be a real dick, especially to Mean Streak, until they ripped off her hard restraints. She softened up a bit after that but still is a wild child (somewhat more cautious than Steel, though). Once Steel got converted she got a massive mutual crush on her and things worked out and now those two are a thing despite the rivalry in SV’s park backstory. She’s fucking crazy about horses even though she doesn’t know shit about them or how to ride them. A true match made in heaven for SV the fake western outlaw.
Gatekeeper-
Sweet, calm, and pretty ditzy. Likes to just stare at the lake or sky or whatever until someone snaps her out of it. Not exactly bright, but very nice and perhaps too affectionate, making her a good greeter for the park. Broad, birdlike chest and long arms, wears loose-fitting, light colored, comfortable, clothing.
Valravn-
Also a big, friendly, but spacey gal like Gatekeeper. It’s a new-school B&M thing. A lot like her, but a bit less affectionate, a bit smarter, and much physically beefier (but still top heavy and birdlike in proportions). Unsurprisingly, those two have become a thing. They’re a cute couple for sure, very loving and affectionate and find of long walks and sunset watching on the beach together.
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