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deandoesthingstome · 8 months ago

Text

Exactly What His Heart Meant

Pairing: Pornstar!August Walker x Pornstar!Reader

Summary: August Walker has wanted you forever. You want him, too. It's perfect.

Word Count: 7.4K

Warnings: This is Pornstar!AU, okay? 18+ ONLY Drug and alcohol use, mentions of a three-way, generic anal, bad business practices, oral sex (F & M receiving), vaginal fingering, anal fingering, P in V missionary and doggy style, sex toys, pegging (gasp - yes I'm going there), aftercare. Love.

A/N: I am nervous, okay? This is not your average everyday August Walker, but I love him and I hope you do too. I have been wanting to do this since forever. I've posted a few blurbs in WIP tag games here and here. I gushed about the song that kicked the whole thing into high gear and the fic title is taken from "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" - Rod Stewart. Both songs can be found on the playlist.

Bonus points if you can find the nods to other HC characters. There is definitely one, maybe two or three if you squint hard. (These points don't get you anything, sorry.)

Playlist: Listen to the music of the night on Spotify here.

Header and dividers by me.

August owned his entrance like no other. The studio made sure to send a PA ahead to prep the DJ and once he heard the first strains of “Night Fever” spill out of the club, he stepped out of the shadows and headed to the entrance, ready to start his decent down into the lights and glitter and debauchery as soon as Here I am sounded through the speakers and a spotlight made its way to him.

The already celebratory crowd went wild as he struck the iconic pose and thrust his hips in time to the rhythm. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried, no matter how he had protested his employer’s choice for him. He would have sworn on any stack of bibles he didn’t like disco and abhorred polyester, yet here he was gyrating away. First time for everything. Starting with enjoying this awards night and after-party.

Each one prior had a story already attached to it from the beginning of the night, starting with his inaugural ceremony and guaranteed newcomer award, and trailing through the end of every relationship he thought would be the one. He finally stopped assuming because they said yes to the event after a few months or more of dating, that meant they were saying yes to him forever. The next few years were brutal and lonely, not that he couldn’t find some starfucker to take home at the end of the night, but that wasn’t what he craved.

Tonight was Club Retro themed. Award ceremony glamor as usual, but a costume change was required somewhere on the way from the venue to the after-party if you wanted to really up your game. Arrive in club gear of whichever era you wanted, but arrive dressed to impress nonetheless. He wasn’t the only actor a studio had convinced to go for the Travolta look, but he was probably the most surprised to find himself exhilarated by it and the attention it received. He kept all three pieces of the white suit, but he ditched the dark blue shirt altogether. Maybe he didn’t have a full head of hair, but the ‘stache and chest hair on display held 70’s swagger and he was running with it.

He grabbed a glass of champagne from one tray and a pill from another and set off into the crowd in search of the rest of his crew. He caught glimpses of the fresh-faced sweetheart who’d just inked a new deal grinding on the studio’s number two out on the dance floor and knew his plan to link them up had worked. The fans would eat them up, he knew it.

Knew it better than the owner, who wanted August to break her in. Ethan had begun making some really bad casting and scripting decisions and August was glad his contract was coming to an end. He was starting to feel like he wanted to just blow the whole studio up, let loose with all the bullshit he knew about his boss and how he ran his business. The industry could be awful, plenty of horror stories, but August had initially thought he’d found a place to call home.

What he’d begun to uncover about Ethan Hunt could fill a manifesto that would take the place down. And as crazy as it sounded, though he was tired of breaking in new talent, he wasn’t ready to be the reason all his friends lost their jobs. Not everyone was in a position to land on their feet. Regardless, at least now, with the sweetheart and the roughneck on a solid trajectory he wouldn’t be in the middle of something if tonight panned out the way he hoped.

Though, to be honest, it wasn’t looking good. He’d found his crew and then scanned the room for her with no luck.

“She hasn’t shown up yet,” his agent purred in his ear. Kelis was always down to party whenever he had an itch no one else would scratch, and he appreciated how decidedly non-attached she always was. No clingy phone calls or pouting over non-existing anniversaries. It aggravated him, though, that she was looking to seduce him here, tonight of all nights. Especially because she knew where his mind would likely be, but it didn’t stop her from begging for his cock every now and then. He could tell she’d gotten the hint his look gave by the way she toned it way down to answer his next question.

“A few from her studio have shown up but she wasn’t with them and they wouldn’t tell me where she was. It was all very secretive. So at least let me have my way with you on the dance floor if you won’t take me home tonight. Please?”

He relented and found himself having the time of his life. Song after song flew by as he grabbed water then whisky, a line, then water, another line, then whisky, water, whiskey, whisky, water. Dancing with Kelis gave him a chance to forget about his frustration with his studio and everyone, here or not, for the moment. He let himself be free and felt a weightlessness he hadn’t in a long time. No call sheets waiting at home. No scenes to prep. No “scripts” to read. Tonight and the next two weeks were his and his alone. Time for some decisions.

He noticed the crowd had begun to thin, and realized he wanted some fresh air, so he peeled himself away from Kelis with a promise-to-return kiss and tap on the ass. He took the elevator to the rooftop bar and found himself a little amazed at the streaks of light just beginning to emerge in the distance. Time had really flown while he was having fun.

He was about to head towards the drinks when he spotted her leaning against the railing in the opposite direction. The white-golden hair flowing behind her was an obvious wig. He’d seen her step to the stage to accept multiple awards tonight (or is it last night now?) and she had looked just as gorgeous with her natural color as she did all done up in her Farrah waves now. An unexpected jolt of excitement coursed through his veins as he realized she’d also opted for a 70’s look, complete with a scandalously (though by whose standards?) short metallic silver skirt with slits on either side and what he assumed was a matching top, though with her back to him as she peered out over the awakening city, all he really saw where the two thin silver chains that criss-crossed across her back. They looked like they would hold nothing up.

But she was alone and he knew it was now or never, so he strolled around the roof-top pool to step up beside her.

"I’m glad I finally found you. I wanted to congratulate you. It's not often a producer gets awards for both behind and front of camera work," he opened.

She turned her head and beamed a dazzling smile in return before thanking him and offering her own congratulations along with her hand and then a surprisingly friendly hello hug.

“I saw you nailed Best Male Performer and Best Anal again. Your Missionary: Impossible series was a true stroke of genius. I wish I had thought of it first.”

“So she’s not immune,” August thought as he peeled himself away from her warm body. “She remembers my name.” At least she recognized his star status. Maybe she hadn’t forgotten him. He pressed his lips to the back of her hand and trained his eyes on her through his lashes.

“You know I’d love to have you join the cast,” he spoke as he finished the hello hand kiss and lifted his head to gaze directly at her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen eyes that scream ‘spy’ quite as much as yours do.”

“And I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a producer acting for another studio. You’ve got balls to ask, that’s for sure,” she laughed, tossing back the rest of her whisky before grabbing another off the tray passing by.

“Where’ve you been all night? I tried to find you right after the ceremony, but you disappeared and I had to run for a wardrobe change.” August tossed a casual grin and motioned at the cheesiness of his costume, though inside he was kicking himself.

The point of engaging wasn’t to offer her a part. How ridiculous! He’d been doing that for months now and she wasn’t biting. No. Tonight he was going to get answers. Why had she consistently denied him another shot with her? It had to be more than just the technicalities of trying to untangle ownership and percentages filming another studio’s producer would bring. She broke into his train of thought with an explanation of her quick and sudden departure from the award banquet and why she hadn’t arrived at the after party locale for what had to be at least a few hours.

“Already prepping material for next year. We had a newcomer attend with the studio tonight. He’s an absolute stud. Looking to get his name out there so we filmed his first scene backstage.”

August’s hopeful heart sank a little. He couldn’t expect her not to keep putting out material just because his advances might finally be successful, but it would take all his cool charm and guile to woo her if she was already cock-drunk tonight. He put out another feeler.

“You look well put back together already,” he commented, eyes tracing her figure with obvious intent.

“Oh not me. No, I was directing. Looking to nab that ‘behind the scene newcomer’ award next year,” she beamed, her smile still welcoming. “No, Mikey did a little gonzo three-way for his first official movie with Darkk Angel. We’re releasing it next week after a quick trip to post and then have him lined up for three more scenes next month. I’m wondering if we can talk AVN into a “most prolific” award.” Her laughter was infectious and he found himself with a wide grin, verging on goofy in spite of his aim.

“You’ve never directed? How have I missed that?” August sought to focus attention away from whoever this Mikey kid was and back on her completely, then mentally kicked himself again for admitting something that could only make him look desperate and maybe a little creepy. From his statement, and along with all the official asks from his agent, she had to think he was a stalker, completely obsessed with her.

Not that he wasn’t. Not since that very first time. Her “first’ anal scene. He understood she had to be a little overwhelmed at that shoot with so many people on set. She had clearly already fucked the director (for a scene) and was now just taking on a few actors who were already on a rise. It was his last commitment to the old studio and then he was off to a new contract with Hunt. God, he wished he could have taken her with him. As it was, the only thing he kept was her scent that lingered not long enough.

"You know, I've asked my agent about another scene with you more times than any other actor. He never has a good enough reason to tell me no. What gives?" August inquired.

She debated telling him the truth. That she was completely enamored of him despite, only having met once, and afraid to ruin her own fantasy. Yes, she thought about him often. She’d be lying if she said otherwise.

But what if he refused her counter-offers? What if he didn't play the way she had come to discover she wanted sometimes, needed even?

She could accept if his big dick in her pussy or ass was all he'd agree to again for one scene. But she wanted more. More than a scene. More than a spectacle.

"Industry's hottest stars finally fucking again!" she imagined the trade headlines would scream, not bothering to temper her own ego about her status.

And which studio got the rights? His or hers? Of course she would never give up the rights to those shots, those stills, that video. It had been years since any studio other than the one she owned had any rights to any images of her. Why August Walker didn't make the same professional move she had was beyond her, but at least she could play the upper hand if it came down to it. It was power to own the rights to your own material and that power trumped his studio contracts. Or at least she'd make that case. Plus Ethan Hunt was a little bitch and she’d be damned if she contributed to his profits in any way.

Still, she couldn’t get past the concern that having his big dick in her ass again would ruin her for anyone else ever again. It wasn't the size. Hell, she'd had two almost equal to him in there just the other day.

No. It was the fantasy. Not only what she already knew of his prowess, though if she’d improved over time, and she knew she had, he had to have gotten better too. But also what she imagined she knew based on the stories she'd heard. Stories about his true personality as well as the image she made up in her head based on tidbits of their past and innuendos of his present.

On set, she'd heard he’d become a bit of a prick. Even worse when the storyline called for Daddy. Not that it didn't make her wet to watch. And daydream about. Calling him Daddy, mmmm.

Except that wasn't her. Not her kink. Not her need. Not really.

And off set? Well, lips are usually loose in the industry, but somehow very few factual stories about dating August Walker were out there. Most of what she'd heard was easily dispelled rumor.

No, he wasn't into animal play. Either kind. Good.

No, he didn't force his partners to sleep in separate rooms after finishing. Why would someone even start that rumor? To what end?

Her private private detective had tracked down the source and verified quickly. It was a little bit of column a, a little bit of column b. The studio was looking to cash in on the mystery and intrigue of their dashing playboy, and a jilted date wanted more. Who wouldn't want more of him? But that choice was self-sabotaging to say the least.

She was well aware that some women, and men for that matter, liked to imagine their favorite actor to be the world's largest asshole. No, not that way.

That was the way she liked to imagine him. And the basis for her declination. He'd never say yes. She was sure of it.

And yet here he was. Blushing at the mere mention. Maybe she should have countered with that when he first started seeking her out. But she hadn't been ready to give up the rush she felt every time a message from Hunt Club studios appeared in her inbox.

August felt the heat rise in his cheeks and knew someone out there would say he was blushing, but August Walker does not blush.

As she leaned in, he swiped another surreptitious peek at her gorgeous and barely covered tits, though he was so smooth no one could have seen this time. Not that it mattered. He was right about the thin silver chains holding onto barely anything up front. Where she found tissue paper thin metallic material, he had no idea but her nipples showed through what little fabric there was making up the plunging neckline of the deep-vee tank, as if they weren’t also practically peeking out of the top as it was. She had them on display for a reason. But he was trying to make a move here. Trying to differentiate himself from the rest of the industry players and hangers-on hoping for a hook-up after the awards.

Champagne and liquor had flowed all night, powder cut, pills popped. He was tipsy but it was really the sunrise inching its way into the sky behind her, here on this rooftop bar next to the pool full of drunken, naked bodies, and the angelic halo circling the crown of her head that had him staring back into her eyes in no time, enraptured. Well, that and her reply.

“I have certain … desires that I’m not convinced you’d be amenable to and I didn’t want to alienate you.”

He went on to ask, no - insist, she explained her terms, right here right now. And she obliged, clarifying that she didn’t intend to be filmed at all. That her interest in climbing into bed with him was related only to the burning desire she’d felt to track him down, beg him for more, practically every day since that shoot. And the thing that convinced her not to bother was the never ending stream of talent she’d seen draped around him months, years later.

But she wouldn’t, couldn’t deny that she wanted him. Wanted to relive that moment and then build on it. Take the scene farther than was written. Fuck him right off the page and into her life forever. It was indescribable the way he felt listening to her narrate her desire to own him. She was only mentioning the bedroom, but he got the feeling she meant the heart as well.

Still, she was being mysterious with the details, so August began to mention specifics. What he wouldn’t do.

"I won't lick your boots," he'd said with a grin after a shorter than expected list, still wavering on if he actually meant to convey the opposite.

"Maybe not," she replied before leaning in and whispering in his ear as he tilted down to meet her. It was clear from her next sentence that she’d finally figured out he’d say yes. He was practically begging for it right here in front of these few end-of-the evening stragglers. "But you will take every inch of me."

Negotiations had already begun and this was just ink on the dotted line. Along with a string of consent questions with compatible answers and now she knew his safeword and he knew hers. It wasn’t what it used to be. Because things can change. But not his desire for her.

He brushed past her non-binding handshake and drew her in for a confirmation kiss, hands gently pulling her waist towards him. “You still smell the same. It drives me crazy,” he admitted before pressing his lips to hers with a smile. Then he broke the kiss, which had begun to turn lascivious even for the nature of the event, afraid they’d never make it off the roof-top if he didn’t.

He gave a deceptively shy smile and knowing nod to Kelis as he passed her on his way out with the true object of his desire draped along his arm.

She sent her limo off with whatever crew was left at the party before climbing into the back of his. They had no sooner pulled away from the curb and begun to make their way to his hi-rise apartment building than the driver’s shield went up and she went down, unzipping his trousers and slipping her hand in to coax him out.

She had gotten incredibly better at sucking dick in these interim years. But it was like she was finally home. Like her mouth opened magically around him to hold him close and taste his skin. It took everything in his power not to blow his load down her throat in the car. He wanted to be in her pussy when he came and there wasn’t much he wanted more at this moment.

He managed to pull her off and get her back on the seat, legs spread and ready to take his shoulders as he slipped his tongue deep inside her core. Moving the floss she’d bothered to pull on out of his way wasn’t hard in the least. He had her screaming by the time the limo pulled up outside his building.

August draped his suit jacket over her shoulders before he helped her out of the car and into the lobby. When the elevator doors closed around them, she turned and pressed him back into the wall, staring up at him with hunger and power equally.

“That’s the last time you call the shots tonight. I’m taking my shoes off as soon as we walk in your door, so you can’t accuse me of asking you to lick my boots. But you will be on your knees and you will put your mouth back on my pussy and do that one more time before anything else happens tonight. Understood?”

He stared down at her with amusement that morphed into understanding that ended in solemnity before the ding at his floor broke the silence.

“Yes ma’am,” he finally replied, resigned to her whim. He opened the lock with practiced ease, nothing shaking out of fear but only vibrating with anticipation. How had he missed her meaning all those years ago?

“I wish I could show you how this feels,” she’d whispered in his ear as he held her chest tight against his. “But it’s nothing compared to how it feels from behind.”

At the time he thought she had meant for him to turn her around, still on top of him but back to chest. So he did. And she liked it. She came like a banshee and that squeeze is something they can’t fake. That’s what wins the awards anyway. The audience knows it’s acting, but when they can tell it’s something the actor actually wants, when the chemistry is kinetic, the high is so much higher.

Clearly she’d had so much more in mind. When she came back down, he made sure to check the front door lock before he turned back to scoop her quivering body into his arms and carry her down the hall to his bedroom.

“Don’t think I’m anywhere near done with you just because I’m a wreck right now,” she called to him as he set her onto his bed. “Where are you going?”

“I would never think you’d consider that enough for an evening. I want to freshen up, if you don’t mind. May I?” August quirked an eyebrow awaiting her response and it was clear he’d come right back to the bed if she forbade it. No questions asked. But she allowed it and that only made him ache for her more. He’d be quick.

“Damn right you will!” she called out after him before ridding herself of her own garments.

Her hand must have found its way to the soaking mess between her legs and this is how August found her when he stepped out of the bathroom a very short while later, rubbing a towel over his head after peeling it off his body. He watched her luxuriate in the slippery slide feel of her fingers dipping in and out, rubbing, pinching, pumping, pumping, pumping.

He dipped carefully onto the bed. He had no desire to startle her out of her joy, he only wanted to witness it up close. He crawled alongside her and watched as her chest heaves softened and listened as her sighs became longer. When she finally opened her eyes on a deep inhale, he smiled at her.

“May I join you?” So respectful.

“Kiss me,” she commanded, and while he heeded she lifted his arm and guided his hand between her legs. “And touch me,” she whispered into his mouth.

He obeyed. His fingers drifted through her folds and made use of the slick that remained to press up into her. One, two, one, two. And now three. And now she’s grinding up against his hand and breaking the kiss to demand more and he’s giving it to her but it’s not enough, is it?

“More,” she cried out. “Fuck me, August.”

He was grateful at that moment for two revelations from the rooftop. He already knew his own status, testing often despite Hunt’s lackadaisical studio regulations. But she had shared that her studio adopted the standard of routine and regular testing early on and therefore she knew exactly what her status was, too. And, coupled with the fact that she had the implant, she had no qualms going bare. All these things led to the next thing he was grateful for and that was the feel of her pussy wrapped all the way around him as he slipped his prodigious cock deep inside her.

He mused he could do this all night. Or rather all day and into the night, when the moon began to rise again. Because it wasn’t night at all. It was broad daylight now and it was streaming in through the mirrored windows. Nobody could see it, even if they did find themselves on level with the height of his apartment. But no curtains meant he could see the way the sunlight brightened her face and it made him want to see all of her.

“Will you take it off, too?” he asked, staring down at her while he pistoned his hips into hers and felt her open and warm around him. “Please?”

He wasn’t used to begging. As much as he wasn’t a blusher, he definitely wasn’t a beggar but he found himself wanting to do anything for her and she wanted him to beg. Or at least ask nicely. And he wanted to obey. For the first time, maybe ever, August Walker wasn’t in charge.

She obliged and pulled the wig off easily. It wasn’t even pinned on, there was so much bang to cover the cap. All that meant was she was able to free her natural hair with ease and he was thankful. Now she lay bare before him and he got to take a good long, up close and personal look before she took it all away.

Faster than he would have preferred she slipped back and eased him out, but turned just as quickly to take him in her mouth. August let his eyes fall closed while he relished the feeling of her mouth around his cock again, but just when it started feeling really good, it also started feeling too good. If she continued he was going to come and he really meant it when he decided he wanted to be inside her for that. And not her mouth.

“Please,” it was practically a whisper. She almost hadn’t heard. But she let go with a pop and asked.

“What was that?”

“Please,” he begged again, raspy but with sound this time, voice hitching as she took him back in her mouth for just the briefest of sucks.

“What are you asking for?”

When he pleaded again with a cracked voice, she smiled as she let go.

“What is it, August? Huh? What do you want? Or not want?”

“Please…please don’t.” he stuttered as she continued to toy with him. Dick in and then out of his mouth with no concern for his predicament.

“Say it, August. Ask nicely.”

“Don’t make me come,” he begged, even as she sank to wrap her lips around him once more. “Please.”

“If that’s what you want. You only have to ask. Nicely.” She was so proud of him and he could feel that. Could tell she’d do anything for him. And let him do anything for her.

“Let me fuck you,” he asked. “Please. Just ….”

“Don’t bother saying it, you and I both know 5 minutes turns into 20 in no time,’ she laughed with him as she lay back with her legs spread wide for him. He stayed kneeling between her legs and watched her face explode with pleasure as he rocked deep and strong inside of her. He wasn’t trying to overcome her, wasn’t looking to establish any kind of dominance. Not on purpose at least. Because the fact of the matter was, that no matter how much he wanted to let her be in charge, it just came so naturally to him. It was hard to drop that mantle. Especially while fucking into her and watching her fall apart around him.

Then she shook her head and through sheer will, dragged herself back from the precipice to snake an arm up his chest, fingers drifting to his neck and drawing him down against her.

“Kiss me again, August,” she commanded and he obliged with no hesitation. It wasn’t that he couldn’t resist and instead put her right back in the trance his cock had caused, but he didn’t want to. They’d agreed on this night. Agreed what it would mean. He was finally getting what he’d craved all these years. And so was she.

Their tongues tangled while his fingertips traveled over velvety skin, her legs wrapped around hips, his thick member pistoned in and out of her wet and slippery cunt that she controlled so well. She hadn’t been wrong. August imagined he could stay like this forever if she’d let him, drowning in her glory, ego stroked with every gasp and whimper and cry of hers. It was music to his ears. He’d heard enough fake moans and pants over the years to know what the real thing sounded like and he never wanted to give it up.

When he felt her squeeze tight around him for the second time, he began to slow, sure that more than twenty minutes had passed but completely uninterested in confirming his suspicion. No, he wanted her on her knees again.

“Can I have you from behind?” he murmured in her ear after kissing his way along her cheek and neck. “Just for 5 minutes.”

She could feel his grin, but before she could compose an appropriate response, he’d shifted, changed tempo and hit a different spot that had her howling and fighting the urge to beg him for more. Even then brief respite she’d have while they switched positions should allow her to gather her wits and tamp down her desire to just let him rail her into the next day. Because tonight was for something more. So she pushed him back away from her, flipped and pulled herself to all fours while crawling towards the center of the bed.

With a seductive glance over her shoulder, she called to him, “Come and get it, stud.”

Five minutes in heaven. That’s all she was going to allow him. She pressed her chest down into the bed and let him drag her hips into the air, flesh captured under his strong fingers. She screamed into the sheets as August directed her pleasure with practiced skill and just when she felt she couldn’t hold on any longer, he slipped a saliva-coated thumb into her ass and sent her reeling. He’d timed it perfectly.

“You’re done,” she fought through her haze to flip to her back and clarify. “We still have a deal, right?”

She watched him stroking himself lazy and slow to stay hard while his eyes blinked shut with relief almost involuntarily.

“Yes,” he replied, his exhale full of yearning. “Will you show me?”

“Show you what, August? Hmm?” she asked with a tilt of her head, pleased he was finally ready to give in to what he’d already agreed to back on that rooftop.

“Show me how it feels.” It wasn’t a question, yet still not a command. He’d never dare to command her. Not until she was ready for him to. And that wasn’t tonight.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that since we met.”

All those years. All that time. August closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and told himself it’s fine. It’ll be fine. He pulled back a bit from the ledge that he wanted to step over for missing her meaning all along. As if she could read his mind, she spoke from somewhere that felt like a dream.

“I’m glad you waited though. I wasn’t ready either. I was trying to get over my nerves and thought a little brazen tease directed at the top talent on set would help. But I’ve discovered I really do like sharing that experience, knowing I can make a man feel the way he makes me feel. Make him understand how much better it is when it's from someone who cares."

When he opened his eyes, she was pulling herself up to her knees to meet him. He felt her hands trace along his chest as she pressed her lips to his. It was almost sweet, but definitely a relief. She really did want this as much as he did.

For a mini-eternity, they let their tongues tangle and hands roam. August shivered as her nails traced down his back with the perfect dig and smiled into her lips as he thought about the red lines he’d be left with the next day. He cradled the nape of her neck as even on knees he towered over her and let a hand drift down the soft skin of her side and around her waist to cup her ass.

When her hands finally landed in the same spot on him, he felt another layer of tension release as she caressed and squeezed each cheek with passion. She broke the kiss and nuzzled down his chest, landing on her elbows before him. With eagerness, she took hold of his still invigorated member, gave a few soft strokes, and then put him back in her warm, wet, inviting mouth.

But this blowjob had an ulterior motive that August felt as soon as it turned sloppy and her saliva began to drip and pool around him. With a now slick hand, she slipped her fingers off the base of his cock and in between his legs, tracing past the waxed-bare skin off his balls and teasing his entrance.

She circled and smoothed and kneaded until he finally felt a finger ease past the first ring of muscle and he had to put a hand on her head to slow the bob that was already threatening to pull his orgasm too soon. Surely she didn’t want that, did she?

August dropped his head back with a groan of pleasure as she let her spit drop onto her fingers again before pressing a second digit inside, just beginning to open him up to all her possibilities. It already felt so, so good. If this was all she did for him, it was worth it, but not really what he wanted. He’d had a few other lovers tease him like this, but he always stopped them short, still too nervous to let them go all the way to where he needed.

He’d kept this part of himself secret, shared it with no one, tested it only when alone. He knew it was stupid to hide this craving, especially given how exposed he allowed himself to be on film. But this was something different. Something personal. Private. That’s what he told himself. And he let his stature in the industry dictate the type of man he was in a bedroom, with a woman but without the cameras, for far too long.

His head was spinning as her tongue licked his length and her fingers teased and touched. She was pressing and pushing deeper and when she finally found his spot it took every ounce of willpower to maintain composure. He still wanted more of her, still didn’t want to come yet.

It dawned on him then that she hadn’t brought an overnight bag with change of clothes for the morning or toys for the evening. Just her ridiculously sexy wisp of an outfit and a tiny clutch that couldn’t have hidden even a bottle of lube, let alone the tool she needed to fulfill their bargain. She’d promised him he’d take every inch of her. Could she really have meant only this? Was she expecting him to come as she beckoned inside him?

“I can hear your thoughts, August” she purred up at him with a smile, mouth off his dick, but fingers still toying with him. “I don’t want to stop here either. I’m sure you can help me out, can’t you?”

She felt him tense and knew he was weighing the pros and cons of admitting what she had guessed when he agreed to take her home immediately without offering to make a stop along the way. August had his own equipment. No doubt about it.

“It’s okay,” she soothed, removing her fingers completely and returning to her knees to kiss him hard and deep before speaking to him on his level. “You don’t have to hide anymore. Show me what you need.”

She watched the seas of his eyes storm with fear before settling into calm as she held his gaze with no judgment, no mockery. She kissed him again, licked into the space between his lips and felt the passion as he held her tight, almost holding on for his life while he kissed her back.

When he finally broke free, he stepped back off the bed and opened the nightstand to remove a bottle of lube before he moved across the room to a mirrored armoire. He opened the doors and removed a sleek, black box which he brought back to place slowly on the nightstand, clearly deep in thought. And then he hesitated, hands resting on the lid of the box, head down.

“I don’t…” he started, and she felt a small ache in her heart. She had never seen him so vulnerable. Not that she spent much time alone with him at all, but this was truly a side she hadn’t quite expected after everything she knew about him.

“We can take our time, August,” she spoke with a careful tone and no desire to spook him. He remained still and she felt reassured he wasn’t running, not in his mind or his body. When he spoke, she had to stifle a small laugh for fear she would send him running from misplaced shame.

“I only mean, I don’t have a harness for you.” He turned, fingertips of only one hand still on the closed box, eyes scanning hers for understanding. And she understood completely.

She moved closer to the edge of the bed and grinned at him. “Oh, August. Oh baby, this is what has you worried? You think I can’t make it good for you if I’m not wearing it?” She watched this new layer of tension begin to melt away as he registered her words. “August Walker, I meant what I said and I can’t wait to fuck you however I can. And believe me, I know how to make it good.”

She waited for him to relax, to speak, to return to his usual manner and let her back in. Then she took a calculated breath, dropped the timbre of her voice, and called to him.

“And you’re going to let me, aren’t you August?”

Her eyes dropped just in time to see the twitch in his still hard-cock and she knew he was back and ready to let her have him. He flipped the lid to the lacquer box with one finger and revealed a small treasure trove of devices, any of which she’d be thrilled to treat him with. With no idea how prepared he really was, she let him choose.

“Will you start with this?” August handed her not the smallest, but not the largest either and she accepted willingly. “It’s been a minute.”

With complete understanding she led him back into bed on his knees before grabbing the lube from the nightstand and setting about her business. Kisses first. Deep and hungry. She wanted his tongue down her throat and he obliged while she held the dildo and lube in one hand and stroked his rock hard cock with the other.

Before too long, she’d dropped the toy to the bed and flipped the lid to the tube, using proprioception to drop several dollops onto her open hand before reaching between his spread legs while still commanding his kiss. Her fingers smoothed the viscous fluid over his entrance and dipped a little in with a finger before she reached for the prosthetic and smeared the rest around the tip and down the base.

Her lips left his reluctantly as she ordered him to hands and knees while she maneuvered behind him. With practiced skill, she massaged and manipulated her fingers inside him once more, listening for the moans and groans that told her he was ready for her to place the tip alongside a finger and ease the toy inside. She watched him carefully, moving slowly and waiting for him to relax fully before she slipped the whole thing in and he took it with the sweetest grunt.

“You’re doing so good for me, August. Just like I knew you would. Does it feel good?” she questioned, while gently pulling and pushing, twisting and pressing, smiling when he answered in the affirmative. With each motion she listened for the sounds that would tell her where and how it felt best and she was quick to learn his needs.

“Fuck…just like that,” he begged and hitched back into her, already wanting more.

“Impatient,” she teased lightly as she shifted to the side so she could both lean over to capture his lips again and still work the toy in and out of his slowly writhing body. She kept him wanting, shifting the speed and direction, for as long as he could last before he finally begged for the real thing.

She left him face down and ass up while she switched gear, careful to add more lube to both him and the larger phallus. But when she was ready to finally give him what he wanted, she paused for just a moment to consider orientation. She was certain positioning him to face the mirror would be too much for this first time together, but there would be others, she was sure now.

Other times to see the exquisite pain she knew would soon drip down his face as she wielded the apparatus and gave him every inch he asked for. She ran a hand up his back and grabbed onto his shoulder for more leverage as she worked him into a frenzy. He was bucking back into her and the moans that drifted from his lips were music to her ears. All the practice and care she’d taken, learning how to please a lover this way were paying off.

She knew how it felt, knew how he was riding each high and low. Watched him relax into his pleasure, at times letting her control him completely before he shifted his hips and dug into the bed with hands and knees to find purchase that would allow him to grind hard onto the sizable dildo she brandished with expertise. She’d go all night like this if he wanted.

As his circuits finally broke, she could see the waves of pleasure begin to ripple along his spine. He was coming furiously hard, perhaps harder than he had in a long time, no matter how many uses this toy of his had gotten on his own. She was that good at sensing and feeling and pushing and pulling exactly how and when and where he needed.

And August definitely needed. That much was abundantly clear as he collapsed fully to the bed, panting and gasping for air as he rode the waves of his lingering orgasm. She could see him twitching and knew the feeling because it was exactly how she felt after everyone of the orgasms he’d given her tonight. Like an explosion of sensation she never wanted to come down from and she’d given that to him finally.

She left him to catch his breath and stepped to the bathroom to run warm water over a soft washcloth and grab a fresh towel on the way back. When he was cleaned and dry, she tucked into the covers with him and pulled him to her, guiding his head to her chest.

“You feel okay? Need anything else right now?” she asked him quietly as her hand drifted up and down his back.

“I wanted to come inside you,” August admitted with an exhausted sigh.

“We’re gonna have a lifetime of that.”

Everything HC Taglist: If this isn't your thing, no hard feelings? (as always, let me know if you want on or off; if you've asked and your aren't here, try me again but know that Tumblr sometimes doesn't let me tag everyone.)

@sillyrabbit81 @mayloma @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @kebabgirl67 @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @just-chirpin @thesaucynomad @valacirca @henryownsme @summersong69 @foxyjwls007 @peyton-warren @irishavengersassemble @brattymum96 @ellethespaceunicorn @juliaorpll78 @martha-oi @cardierreh15 @cinnamoroll-things @caramariehurst @zombicupcake3 @openup-yourmind @shellyshellshell @nickfowlerrr @greensleeves888 @misshinson @thelastsock @princessaxoxo @justjulie1105 @minimin1993 @agniavateira @sammat97 @meb79 @kittenofdoomage (as always Rhi. Smooches!)

#august walker fanfiction #august walker #august walker x reader #pornstar!august walker #pornstar!AU #august walker fanfic #august walker!AU #exactly what his heart meant #deandoesthingstome #mine

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waynes-multiverse · 7 months ago

Text

Plastic Hearts – Part 25

Pairing: Director!Dean Winchester x Actress!Reader

Series Summary: Los Angeles, 1985. Y/N’s a young actress without any success, hopping from one failed audition to the next until one desperate mistake brings her to her breaking point. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, is a grade A asshole and washed-up director at the end of his career, known for his godawful slasher movies in the 70s and his love for blow, booze, and women. Lost in the toxic Hollywood life, their paths cross when one hopeless little wrestling show changes their trajectory.

Chapter Warnings: +18, a tinge of angst, FLUFF

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: I'm not sad... 🥲 Honestly, I don't have words beyond gratitude and cliché goodbyes, so let's end this journey together 🤍

<< 24 || Spotify Playlist || Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

25. Dare

��Ugh, I can’t believe you convinced everyone to come out here,” Jo groans and raises her flat palm to her brows, shielding her eyes from the scalding desert sun. “What the fuck is wrong with Palm Springs, huh?”

“C’mon, we’ve always wanted to go to Joshua Tree together since we moved to LA. This is like the perfect time,” Y/N argues cheerfully and nudges her friend with her elbow. “Look! It’s so peaceful.”

“There’s a dead carcass over there. Looks like a symbol of my marriage,” Jo deadpans.

Y/N purses her lips before compelling another positive smile to her face. “We can get rid of that. The girls really needed this after the whole Crowley debacle.”

The group left straight after the network meeting in Dean’s office this morning, which didn’t go as planned, to say the least. While several executives were surely interested, Crowley and H-ELLTV put an abrupt end to it. Apparently, they sold their fucking souls by signing a contract with the devil. Crowley’s words still rang in her ears on repeat.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, ladies, but H-ELLTV owns your characters, which means you can’t sell them to another network. You all signed a contract and made a deal. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, fucking asshole…” Jo huffs her agreement but then throws her friend a suspicious sideways look. “What’s up with you, though? Why are you so chipper and cheerful like a fucking Disney princess? I thought you of all people would be fucking depressed and devastated about the stupid show ending.”

Y/N shrugs. “I am. I’m just trying to make the best of our last weekend together. Can’t I be happy?”

“Fuck no.” Jo shakes her head. “Something’s up with you. Usually, when you’re like this, it’s overcompensation ‘cause you’ve fucked something up. If I were still married, I’d think you’ve fucked my husband all over again. So, what did you do?”

Y/N shrugs once more and keeps her eyes trained on the sprawling desert landscape in front of her. “Nothing.”

“Dean also was a bigger asshole than usual this morning. So, I’m asking again, what shit did you fuck up now?”

“Nothing, okay? Dean’s always an asshole,” Y/N deflects defensively. Although, even she has to admit – those were some spectacularly icy green eyes this morning. Not that he ever looked directly at her or spoke with her even once. She probably would’ve turned to stone if he did.

“Fine, don’t tell. God knows I don’t fucking care,” Jo says indifferently and joins the other women as they set up their tents on the campground.

Y/N lets out a small sigh as she stares at the bluest sky she’s ever seen while the hot desert sun beams down on her. She watches the girls for a while, her heart slightly cracking at the thought this might be the last time they all hang out together. This year has been the best one she’s ever had.

But then, her heart stings even more when she thinks about the one person who isn’t here, wondering what he’s doing right now. If anything, she owes it all to him.

Dean nurses his beer with a sigh, his green eyes barely paying attention to the half-naked girl who’s winding herself up and down a silver pole in front of him. This used to bring him joy – day-drinking at a strip club and watching tits bounce. But now all he thinks about is how that girl looks nothing like Y/N. None of them do.

“Hey, son. Startin’ early today,” Bobby notes with a chuckle as he sits down next to him.

“Yeah, they canceled the show.” And while that’s certainly true, it’s not the reason why Dean’s sulking at a titty bar.

“Too damn bad. I loved the show!” Bobby tells him enthusiastically. “It was insane. Good insane. It had everything – comedy, drama, heartache, tits, violence, a fucking wedding? There’s something for everyone there.”

“Well, uh, thanks, Bobby. Really appreciate it,” Dean tells him politely. He likes the guy, but he’s not in the mood for chitchat. He’s barely in the mood for naked women, for crying out loud. This is a deep fucking depression.

There are only two promises he’s made to himself: One, he won’t slump like he did after his last divorce. There will be no excessive drinking, which leads to excessively pathetic crying, which leads to a myriad of bad choices out of sheer desperation. Remember that awful dating videotape he made? Yes, there will be no more of that. And then there’s of course two, no drugs – no matter how much he tells himself he wants or fucking needs them. A tiny dot of hope seems to be still dormant in his plastic heart, reminding him that she might come back, and he doesn’t want to risk disappointing her once she does.

Dean has worked fucking hard to be the best version he can be – a version she doesn’t seem to give a shit about. But even he has to admit: He likes himself a lot better now, so he refuses to turn back to old comforts, albeit it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

“You guys interested in doing a floor show?”

Bobby’s words pull him from his reverie. Dean arches a brow at him, straightening a bit in his seat. “What? Here?”

Bobby rolls his eyes. “No, idjit. My wife Ellen has some stakes in a club on the Vegas Strip. She manages the hotel there, too. They’re looking for a new headliner. Just do the exact same show, night after night, 300 miles east. Vegas is where the money is. Headliners make at least 25 grand a week. You think that gym is big? We have to fill 1,100 seats.”

Dean stumps and blinks at the old man a bit baffled. “Well, uh… I’ll think about it. Talk to my partner, the girls…”

Bobby smiles and pats his shoulder as he gets up. “You do that. I’ll call you tomorrow. Now, how about a lap dance? On the house. Can pick any girl that fancies your heartache. You ain’t foolin’ an old man like me.”

Dean chuckles. “Nah, I’m good. But thanks. Think I’m gonna head home and drink myself into a coma there.”

“It’s getting dark soon. How much longer?” Jo’s brown eyes dart to Y/N as she drags her feet over a rocky path. The sun stings less than it did when they started their little hike, but her skin feels perfectly tanned by now and the water is running low.

“Uh, I think it’s supposed to be just up ahead that hill,” Y/N muses and swirls her head around the formation of rocks that all look the same, squinting her eyes into the distance.

Jo sighs, and her stare intensifies. “You’ve been saying that for over an hour. Are we lost?”

“Noooo…” Y/N doesn’t sound convincing and surely doesn’t fool Jo with her reply.

“Alright, gimme the map.”

“I don’t have the map. I gave it to Meg.”

Jo groans and rolls her eyes, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

“What? Meg’s the trail leader. Trail leader gets the map,” Y/N defends her faux pas with reason.

“Great! So we’re fucking lost in the desert,” the blonde huffs.

Y/N chuckles lightly, mostly out of uncomfortableness and panic she tries to hide behind it. “No, there’s a trail marker right over there,” she says, pointing to a pile of rocks. “That looks manmade.”

Jo quirks her brow. “You mean like that pile of rocks? Or that one over there?”

Y/N follows her friend’s gaze, only to realize that there are lots of piles of rock that all look too fucking similar. She purses her lips and scratches her head before resting her arms on her squared-off hips. “I think we’re lost.”

“Yeah.” With an exhaustive sigh, Jo plops down on another pile of rocks and watches as the orange sun dips behind the horizon, shadows of blue slowly crawling across the desert floor and swallowing the light.

Y/N clumsily lowers herself down next to the blonde. Her leg hurts like a bitch, and the desert sand that has wound its way into her cast itches a good deal. Her hands and arms hurt as well from clinging to her crutches all afternoon. Maybe Dean was right, and this was a bad idea, after all. Why does he always have to be fucking right about everything? How can one person be so annoying and frustrating all at once?

“Well, you finally get your wish,” Jo deadpans. “We’re gonna die together.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N says ruefully and looks at the first stars appearing in the night sky. “Maybe the stars will guide us home.”

Jo just looks at her, unamused and unsurprised. “You’ve never been camping, have you?”

Y/N twitches her shoulders apologetically. “It was only supposed to be a three-mile moderate beginner’s trail to a beautiful vista. It’s what the guidebook said.”

Jo shakes her head and blows a raspberry, hugging her knees. “Joanna Wesson, 27, found dead near a random cluster of rocks that might have looked like a trail marker. She was best known for playing Beth Crowne on the soap opera Paradise Bay before trying to revive her career on an unsuccessful wrestling show. She is survived by her son, Sammy, and her bitter ex-husband Sam with his secretary Jessica.”

“Well, at least you get an obituary,” Y/N quips. “Mine would just read: Soap Star Found Dead Next to Unidentified Woman in National Park.”

Jo even snorts at that. “Well, I’m sure Dean would cut and edit an adorable video tribute with a bunch of B-roll about you at your funeral.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Y/N pensively licks her lips, her heart doing those painful twinges again whenever she thinks of him. “You know yet what you’re gonna do next?”

“No, I-… I think I wanna produce,” Jo announces with determination in her hazel eyes. “I don’t wanna ask permission. I’m so tired of it all. For once, I wanna boss people around and tell ‘em what to do. You know, you were right.”

Baffled, Y/N raises a brow. “About what?”

“Men,” Jo says simply and then spits with fire, “I fucking hate them all. The Crowleys and the Dicks and the Cases and the Sams and the Deans… They make the choices. They dictate the terms… I’m sick of it all. I just hate asking them for anything.”

“Dean’s not so bad,” Y/N says quietly but doesn’t look at Jo. Her heart stings for the millionth time. “I got that role for the Sondheim musical. They called this morning.”

Jo’s lips curve into a soft smile that reaches her eyes. “Congrats. I’m not surprised. You were really fucking good.”

Y/N’s heart flutters a little at the compliment. Tears begin to sting her eyes. She can’t remember the last time Jo was nice to her. “Thank you.”

“You don’t seem happy about it,” Jo notes attentively.

“No, I am,” Y/N manages to choke out, but the sniffling betrays her intentions.

“But?”

Y/N bobs her head, swallowing. “I think I’m ready to talk about it now.”

“Fucking finally,” Jo huffs and rubs her cold and goosebump-littered arms as the heat disappears, the nightly air bringing a fresh breeze.

“Dean told me he loves me,” Y/N confesses. “He’s in love with me.”

“Yeah, no shit. Kinda obvious,” Jo says without a twitch of surprise. “Don’t feel bad for not loving him back. That’s what they want… For us to feel bad about every single fucking thing.”

“That’s just it. I don’t think that’s how I feel,” Y/N replies and lets out a jittery sigh.

Jo’s head turns to her, eyeing her friend up and down. “And how do we feel about that? I can’t tell. It’s too dark to see your face.”

“I-, uh, I don’t exactly know,” Y/N says, which is partially true. She might know how she feels about the green-eyed director, but not how she feels about the situation overall.

Jo purses her lips and nods. “Alright, here’s a couple of options: happy, excited, scared, or… repulsed?”

“Well, uhm… scared,” Y/N admits slowly and gulps. “And excited… happy.”

Jo throws her arms up, shaking her head at the stars. “Jesus fuck! Then what the fuck are we doing here?! Is that why you dragged me all the way to the fucking desert? Because you’re running from your feelings?”

“Kinda. I thought the peaceful quiet and beautiful nature would bring me some much-needed clarity,” Y/N explains.

Jo lifts a brow but tries not to seem too annoyed. She’s accustomed to her friend’s theatrics, after all. “And? Did it?”

“The hike didn’t, but facing death kinda does,” Y/N jokes and begins to laugh a little, Jo soon joining her. When their laughter dies down and the desert sounds of chirping crickets and screeching eagles remain, Y/N exhales a shaky breath. “I’m in love with him, too. He makes me really fucking happy. But… I finally feel like I’m on the right track with my career. I am where I’m supposed to be, you know? I don’t wanna throw that away for a guy.”

“Who says you should?”

“I don’t know… Isn’t that how it goes? You did it,” Y/N argues.

Jo licks her lips and clicks her tongue. “Yeah, ‘cause I chose the wrong fucking guy. Sam made me give up everything I ever loved and told me what to love instead. If you pick the right guy, he won’t make you do that.”

“How do I know it’s the right guy, though?”

Jo smiles softly. “Look, I’m not Dean’s biggest fan, but he’s yours. You know that, right? He’d never hold you back. He adores the ground you walk on. Yes, he’s an asshole with so many fucking issues, and he’s goddamn annoying most of the time, but he’s always had your back, even when he pretended that he didn’t. The guy would probably sell every limb and his fucking soul to see you get everything you ever wanted, Y/N. He wouldn’t be a mistake. You know what would be a mistake? Not trying because you’re too scared of making one. Don’t be fucking stupid.”

Thoughtfully, Y/N nods in agreement and grabs her crutches, rising from her rocky seat. “I need to see him. We have to head back to the city.”

“Finally! Thank fucking God.” With a grunt, Jo jumps to her feet and helps Y/N to steady hers. “Maybe the girls made a fire bright enough, so we can find our way back.”

“Shit.”

“What? They have matches, don’t they? I’m sure these bitches can manage a simple fire, right?” Jo then notices Y/N’s hand curling around her bicep, her grip tightening. And then, Jo glances in the direction of Y/N’s eyes and sees the same damn thing. Her brown eyes widen.

“Mountain lion.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” the blonde hisses and holds on to her friend as well. Both women freeze on the spot. “What-, uh, what should we do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we should throw a stick?”

“A stick?” Jo arches her brow. The big cat snarls and stalks a little closer, making the two women jump back. Their hearts are thumping in their throats at this point. “It’s not a fucking dog, Y/N. It won’t play fetch with you.”

“I know that. How about you come up with a better idea, then?” Y/N snaps through gritted teeth. The lion hisses again, causing the women to tremble down to their bones and hug each other tighter. “I think I should jump it.”

“Are you nuts? No!”

“Look, while it eats me, you can flee. I can’t run with my cast anyways. This is the best option,” Y/N insists, but Jo vehemently shakes her head.

“Fuck no! You’re not sacrificing yourself. We die together. You’re not leaving me behind,” Jo maintains. “I always knew my death would be your fault. Don’t ask me how, but I knew you’d get me killed somehow.”

The wild cat takes another step forward and lowers to the ground as if to get ready to jump its prey – them. But then a few tumbling rocks and breaking twigs draw its attention behind the women. Is there an even bigger cat here?

And suddenly, Meg leaps forward from above them with a loud howl and snarls at the cat, which hastily tucks its tail between its legs and flees down the hill into the dark night. Y/N and Jo expel a big breath of relief and a shaky laugh as they find Meg.

“Meg, what the fuck? Did you just scare away a mountain lion?” Y/N gapes at her friend in utter disbelief.

Meg only shrugs her shoulders. “I hate cats. What are you guys doing out here so long?”

“We got lost. Couldn’t find our way back to camp,” Y/N explains.

Meg furrows her brow and thumbs behind her. “It’s just over there. You guys have been hiking around the same hill for five hours.”

Jo shoots Y/N a small glare of annoyance and blows some loose strands of blonde hair out of her face. “Of course we did…” she mutters.

“We have to get back to LA!” Y/N declares eagerly, trying to climb the small rocky hill with her crutches, foregoing the more suitable pathway.

“Right now? It’s probably 3am when we get to Burbank. Can’t this wait till tomorrow?” Jo says as she attempts to climb after her friend.

“No! I almost died! Twice… Dean needs to know how I feel before I get bit by a rattlesnake, too,” Y/N reiterates passionately.

“It’s probably for the best,” Meg chimes in. “We kinda forgot to pack food. I was about to hunt something for us when I ran into you guys. We have tons of drugs and booze, though.”

Y/N’s knuckles thunder persistently on Dean’s door and conjure up a storm. She has jumped out of Ruby’s limo so fast, the girls are still scrambling out and flooding Dean’s front lawn one by one. They’re loud and obnoxious, but the ringing in her ears makes their chatter barely noticeable.

The lock clicks and the door opens. Dean stands in front of her with weary green eyes, heavy with sleep, tousled bed-head, and a furiously scrunched brow. He half yawns and half grumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Once he feels clearer, minus the soft buzz of whiskey remnants in his bloodstream, he blinks at the young actress in front of him and then tilts his head at the circus show behind her.

God, between his punk rock daughter and this, his neighbors must really hate him.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you guys supposed to be camping in fucking Joshua Tree?” His voice is a gravelly bark. He doesn’t mean to sound so harsh, especially when he just woke from a dream about her, but he’s not as masochistic as he used to be. He’s not a fan of torturing himself with the image of her any longer.

Y/N’s heart somersaults as soon as she sees him, even though his apprehension hurts a bit. “Look, I almost died tonight. We got lost in the desert and then a mountain lion almost fucking ate us.”

Dean licks his lips, nodding. “Yeah, I’m not fucking surprised. Told you Palm Springs is the better option. So, did anyone fucking die? What’s the head count?”

“No one died.”

“Huh. Then why the fuck are you here in the middle of the night, Y/N?” Dean bites, his brow creasing in anger. He can’t even fucking look at her for a second without his heart being on the brink of an explosion. Even saying her goddamn name hurts like needle pricks in an abused vein.

“I–” Y/N swallows thickly. Her drumming heart is stuck in her airway along with her words.

“She’s here to tell you she loves you!” Ruby hollers behind her before several girls tackle her and clasp her mouth shut.

Dean’s heart twists upon the sick joke, his frown deepening. But then he glances at Y/N and thinks he can spot the truth in her eyes. He thought that once before, though, and was terribly wrong.

Y/N gives a shrug of one shoulder with tears brimming in her eyes. A small smile forms on her lips. “What she said.”

Dean nods and drags a hand over his freckled face, feeling the tears well in his eyes, too. Fucking whiskey. Always renders him goddamn sentimental. “Look, uhm, you kinda gotta tell me this yourself. Otherwise, I won’t believe it, okay?”

Upon his request, Y/N takes a deep breath and looks him into his eyes. “I’m in fucking love with you.” As soon as the words are out, she starts crying and the tears fall down her cheeks. Meanwhile, Dean’s heart tumbles into free fall, and he’s sure not even a parachute can stop it. “I’ve never said that to anyone in my life. Is-, is it too late?”

Dean snorts and shakes his head, grinning brighter than the California sun on the longest day of the year. “Fuck no. Even if it had taken you thirty years, I still would’ve taken you back. That’s kinda how once-in-a-lifetime love works, sweetheart.”

“Okay. Sounds like a good movie,” Y/N jokes between her tears, her fingers tingling to touch him.

“Yeah, best one there is.”

His hands grab hold of her and pull her into his embrace. He claims her lips, Y/N eagerly parting her mouth as his tongue slips between. The kiss is rushed and fervent and perfectly desperate. They’re both so gone they can’t even hear the girls cheering and applauding them in the background.

“You’re gonna come inside?” Dean asks in a murmur against her lips, barely letting her breath.

“Uhm…”

“Hey, Lothario, you got space for us, too?” Cassie shouts with a wide smirk.

“Yeah, we’re fucking starving,” Ruby adds with an impatiently arched brow.

“We, uh, forgot to pack food,” Y/N explains with a chuckle.

Dean sighs and smiles knowingly. “Of course you did.” He then turns to the women waiting on his lawn. “Alright, get in. I’ll order some pizzas.”

The women then proceed to brush past the couple and filter into Dean’s house. Missouri pinches his cheeks, Ruby pats his head, Cassie fist-bumps him and sends Y/N a flirty wink, Meg tousles his hair, Charlie shrugs apologetically, and Jo offers an annoyed eye roll.

“I’m never gonna get rid of them, am I?” Dean looks down at her and tightens his jaw, even when a grin is visible.

“No, I’m afraid not. It’s like you’ve adopted twelve strays. One of which actually turned out to be your long-lost puppy. They’re gonna be here until you die and then eat your corpse,” Y/N quips.

“Funny.” Dean clicks his tongue, his dimples itching to form a grin.

“Oooo! Let’s call the guys!” he hears Ruby exclaim from inside his living room. “It’s a fucking wrap party at the boss’ house!”

“No! No party! Guys, c’mon!” Dean storms inside after them, leaving Y/N giggling on his doorstep.

“Let’s call Garth, Kevin, and Benny!” Donna suggests, ignoring his protests. It’s like they can’t fucking hear him.

“I’ll call my husband, too!” Bela adds and eagerly dials Cas’ number on his landline.

“Oh, right, Cas…” Dean mutters with an eye roll as he remembers the impromptu wedding. “No fucking Benny!”

Y/N joins his side and rubs his back in comfort as he watches his house sink into female doom. “You okay?”

The deep trenches in his brow flatten into soft valleys as his green eyes lock on her. He dips his head and pulls her to his lips, kissing her slow and reverently. “Better.” He smirks. “Just gonna have to sage the whole house tomorrow.”

That earns him a playful slap on his chest. He laughs and pulls her closer with an arm around her waist.

“Hey, uh, speaking of party…” Dean mumbles before he addresses the whole room, grabbing their attention with an authoritative clear of his throat. He’s still got it. “You guys wanna do shows in Vegas?”

“What?!”

Dean’s eyes find Y/N’s gaping face. He chuckles a little. “Yeah, uh, Bobby offered me a deal. There’s nothing in the network contract about live shows. I already went over it with Cas this afternoon. It pays well, too. You guys interested? It’s not like any of you have actual jobs lined up, right?”

Y/N closes her mouth. “I got that Sondheim musical in San Diego. It’s a workshop production, but if it goes well, it could go all the way to Broadway. I could end up in New York.”

“Good,” Dean says and smirks. “You’re fucking fired.”

“WHAT?!” Y/N’s mouth falls open again. “You said you’d never fire me!”

“Yeah, well, this is for your own good,” Dean reasons. “You think I’m gonna let you quit Sondheim for some stupid wrestling show in Vegas? You gotta be fucking nuts! This is what you fucking wanted. Don’t make me kick your stupid ass onto that stage. It’s gonna look embarrassing for you again…”

Y/N bites her lips to conceal her grin. Her eyes meet Jo’s, who mouths ‘I told you so’ at her. “Thank you,” she tells Dean and kisses his cheek. He furrows his brow at her in suspicion. “But rehearsals don’t start until June. Still gonna need a job till then.”

“Oh.” Dean’s brow shoots up in realization. “The June in nine months?”

“Yeah, the June in nine months,” Y/N confirms with a laugh.

“Whoops. Well, consider yourself rehired till June, then,” Dean relents.

“So, if I ever have to work in New York–”

“Then we’ll go to New York. Big fucking whoop-dee-doo. You know I hate LA.”

Y/N giggles, nodding. “What would you do in New York?”

“Same I do here, just on a little balcony instead of a backyard. I sit with my typewriter by a table and smoke and drink,” Dean retorts. “I’ve actually been working on a new script. I’m moving away from horror and into Western.”

“Got inspired by the motel’s wallpaper, huh?” Y/N teases. “What’s it about?”

“Father-daughter storyline. Thought I’d give that a shot…”

1990, 5 years later…

“Dean! We’re gonna be late!” Y/N reminds him and holds the blindfold in place over her eyes as he drags her somewhere by the hand. Her heels can barely keep up with his fast pace. “You know, check-in at LAX is the worst. Our flight departs in two hours. I’m nominated, Dean! I can’t reschedule! The girls are all flying in, too…”

“I know! I’m fucking hurrying, okay?” Dean assures. However, she can hear the stress and tension in his gravelly voice. He then suddenly halts and positions her into place by her shoulders before carefully taking off the blindfold. “Alright, here we are.”

Y/N blinks her eyes open and recognizes blurry shapes of purple and gold. She lifts an eyebrow as ornaments on the walls and a big stage come into view as well. “The Aztec porno theater?”

“Mayan,” Dean corrects her and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he gets down in front of her on one knee and tries to fumble out the too-big ring box from his too-tiny suit jacket pocket. “Son of a bitch!”

“Dean, wait!” Y/N stops his endeavor with raised palms, her eyebrows meeting her hairline when she realizes what he’s about to do.

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N!” Dean frowns in frustration and rises to his feet with a huff and a shaking head. “I know you’re against marriage and the patriarchy and all that bullshit, but c’mon… We’ve been dating for five years. We have a good thing going, right?”

After spending a whole year in beautiful Las Vegas – the Paris of Nevada – the two of them moved to New York. Dean sold his house in Burbank and opted for a Brooklyn apartment instead. Claire also studied film at NYU before she graduated last Spring. But every few months, the couple finds themselves back in LA – for interviews, for business, for friends.

“Dean–”

“No! You know me. I’d make a great fucking husband. You love it when I make reporters laugh on the red carpet. I’m an awesome trophy husband, okay?”

“DEAN!”

“WHAT?!”

Why the fuck is she angry now? He should be the one that’s angry. She’s turning down the best opportunity of her life. She should consider herself lucky he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He even had an amazing speech prepared to knock her right off her feet, but does he get to say it now? How he wanted to grow fucking old together and support each other? How he wanted to marry her all those years ago when she told him she was pregnant? Nope...

“I’m fucking pregnant!”

Dean blinks at her in confusion before his eyes begin to wander around the familiar theater. Did he take something? Drink too much? Did he actually travel through time or is this a weird fever dream on his deathbed?

“What’s it with you and this theater? And why do you always yell that?”

“Because you never listen.” Y/N giggles and bites her lower lip. “And I’ll gladly marry you if that’s what you were going for. I just figured I’d tell you before in case you wanna change your mind and bail.”

“Why the fuck would I bail?” Dean’s brows knit together, close to offense.

She shrugs and holds up her palms in surrender. “I don’t know! I didn’t want you to feel trapped.”

“Why? Isn’t it mine?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, a grin twitching on her pink lips as she slaps his arm. “Yes, of course it’s yours.”

“And you’re keeping it? You sure?” Dean throws her a quizzical look.

Her brow furrows. “Why, you aren’t?”

“No, I am!” he assures her swiftly, realizing how it sounded. “Hell yeah, I want another kid! You know I always wanted to make up for missing out on Claire so much! I finally get to change a diaper, go to the park, or the fucking zoo while my wife works… It’ll be so fun!”

Y/N tries to stifle her laugh. He seems happy, judging by the joyful glint in his green eyes. They resemble sparkling emeralds.

“But are you sure, y' know?” Dean checks with a deep look into her eyes. “I mean, I do what I can to support you and keep the thing alive in your absence, but you know you’re still gonna be benched for a couple of months, right? I’m not a fucking seahorse.”

Y/N laughs a little at that. “I know. I’m fine with sitting on the bench for a little while. I’m kinda exhausted. I did two Broadway musicals almost back to back, three off-Broadway shows, all the workshops and the rehearsals and Matinees and the dancing and the singing… Not to mention I’m nominated for a fucking Tony tonight,” she says and is close to out of breath by the time she finishes her list of accomplishments.

“Which you’re gonna win,” Dean reassures her persistently. He’s been telling her since the nominations were announced (and even before that when he first saw her in the role on the first night).

“We’ll see,” she brushes him off, although her blushed cheeks betray her words. In her heart, she hopes so as well. “Anyways, I could use the break,” she admits and takes his hands in hers, interlacing their fingers. She places a loving kiss on his lips. “Right time, right guy, right baby,” she says, smiling.

Dean squeezes her hand happily and pulls her to his lips for a searing kiss. “So, where did we land on that whole marriage thing?”

“See? You’re never listening,” she teases, laughing. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Under one condition…”

Dean smirks. “I've had the same exact thought – Vegas. It’s perfect!”

“What, no! I don’t wanna get married in filthy Vegas, you dork!” Y/N frowns playfully, shaking her head. “I wanna get married in Nebraska. I want my dad to marry us."

Dean’s brow creases. He chuckles in amusement. “What, like a shotgun wedding? Could be fun… Pastor marries pregnant daughter to older man. Is this gonna make headlines in the townie paper?”

Y/N snorts, shaking her head at him. “No, it’s a shotgun wedding. It’s very common,” she deadpans.

“I’ve never met your parents,” Dean realizes then. “Why have I never met your parents? It’s weird they never come visit you,” he ponders.

“Oh no, they do,” Y/N tells him, pursing her lips as she twirls her hair around her finger. “They’ve seen me both in Into The Woods and Gypsy.”

“Really, when?” Dean narrows his eyes at her.

“Whenever you were in LA, visiting Claire,” Y/N admits ruefully. She never told them she was dating the director, not sure if they’d approve – not that she gives a shit, but she wanted to spare herself all the sermons and the exploring of the Sunday school dating pool. Whenever they asked who owned the men’s clothes in her apartment, she lied and said she had a gay-but-in-the-closet roommate. “But you can meet them now,” she promises with a reassuring smile on her lips. Thank God she’s an excellent, Tony-nominated actress. “I’m sure they learn to love you just like I did.”

“Learn to?”

“I love you.” Y/N smiles mischievously and shuts up any further comments by kissing him.

Dean grins and relents with a blissful sigh. “I love you, too.”

THE END 🌅

Thank you all so much for reading and making me laugh with your comments and screams throughout! 🤍

Are we done with these two for good? Probably not. I've left gaps and doors open on purpose, so I'm sure they'll make an appearance again at some point in the future 😉

TAGS:

Everything Jensen: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey

@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies

@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28

@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70

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pedripics · 6 months ago

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Pedri via Residency - May 28, 2024

What is something you still want to accomplish in life? - " A lot of things. I am still very young or do you already want to kill me?"

Favourite teammate at Barça? - "I am close with the group in general but Ferran"

Do you play any instruments? or would you like to learn how to play one? - "Better not for the sake of the rest of the people. I like to listen to music but not much else" Favourite series or movie? - "Mi reno de peluche and the one about chapo guzman; favourite favourite is Prison Break and La que se avecina"

Do you know anything about Armenia? - "not too much, to be honest… but recently a very nice driver took me to a shooting was from there. His name was Ara"

Favourite moment of the season? - "It wasn't the best season. On a personal level, I would say the brace."

How do you deal with criticism? - "I try to stay out of it, although it's not always possible, of course... you have to try and keep going and keep believing in yourself"

How do you feel about being able to play for Spain after such a long time? - "Very happy. I haven't been able to play for Spain for a long time. Hopefully we will have great EUROs and also a great 24/25 season with Barça"

How did you feel after the brace? - "crazyyyyy"

"I always try to stop and sign, because I remember when I asked for signatures as a kid"

Plans for the summer? - "I hope to go on vacation, but in a month and a half… that will mean that we go far in the euro with the national team"

Have you eaten German food before? - "Yesss... a member of my marketing team is German and he made us German food a long time ago, with sausages and so on"

How is your English? - "I still have to improve a lot. Give me a few months and I will answer in English"

Do you miss doing anything in your daily life? - "I can't complain. I like to live in peace"

Would you like to go to China? - "Of course, yes. Althpugh in the season there is not really time for anything and during holidays I prefer to stay close and rest. Let's see if we ever have a tour in China"

How many trophies have you won? - "With Barça, La Liga, Copa and Supercopa"

Do you feel ready for the EUROs? - "Siiii"

5 UCL Trophies or a World Cup? - "I don't want to choose. I would like to win it all"

Would you like to play against Portugal in the EUROs final? - "Sure. As long as we play in the final, I don't care against who it is"

Pele or Maradona? - "Maradona... Because he played for Barça and my father told me about him when I was younger. I remember the day he died very well because it was my 18th birthday"

Have you been to New York? - "Yes"

Favourite team to play against? - "Obviously Barça" (he did NOT understand that question lmaooo back to duolingo it is)

Visit Uruguay? You have a lot of fans here - "Ronald also told me once... We'll have to listen to him, because otherwise he gets angry"

How was it going to the Spanish GP in 2022? Are you going this year? - "It was a crazy experience. I don't think I can go this year because it clashes with the EUROs"

Do you like going to concerts? - "I haven't been to many, honestly... I have yet to go to one of Quevedo's. And last year they invited me from Spotify to see Coldplay in Barcelona but in the end I didn't go and I regretted it a little. Teammates went and they love it" (who tf turns down coldplay tickets??? 😭)

Your dad is a great person. - "The best"

How do you feel about receiving so much love? - "Very proud and privileged"

Do you want to score for Spain during the EUROs? - "Clarooo. Let's see if I can make it happen, because I haven't scored for Spain yet"

Red or blue? - "Azulgrana"

Do you like to cook? - "I'm not very good at cooking... My brother and mother are much better"

Pedri or Pedro? - "Pedri... Pedro sounds strange to me. From a young age they already called me Pedri, because there was another boy in the team whose name was Pedro and it was to differentiate us... and everyone calls me Pedri"

What do you think of Alexia, Aitana and Marta? - "They are top footballers!"

Is it difficult to have a 'normal' life? - "It's not easy, but mine doesn't change that much because I really like to be quiet and at home"

Only fish or only meat? - "I prefer meat... but for nutrition, fish"

When you were a kid did you make trouble in class? - "I was more of a quite kid"

Who do you think will win the Golden Boy award? - "Well, I hope a Barça teammate. Lamine, and if not Cubarsi"

What inspires you to perform at such a high level on the field? - "I do what I like the most"

What do you think of your season at Barça this year? - "I was saying this the other day. It hasn't been an easy season and I hope the next one will be much better in every single way and we will win titles"

Have you ever wished to have a sister? - "My mother always wanted to have a daughter, but in the end she had to settle for Fer and me hahaha"

How do you feel for the EUROs? - "Very good. Better and better"

Blue or Black? - "Blue"

#pedri #pedri gonzalez #fc barcelona #*residency

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 11 months ago

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Don't Get Attached | Part 2

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

➪ W/c: 1137

No Strings Attached

I’m not sure what you would call what Jungkook and I are. Friends? Lovers? Friends with benefits, maybe? Labels are confusing, but as far as people around us are concerned, we are “dating”. If you consider physical attraction dating then whatever floats your boat I guess. The thing is that neither of us is seeking any other source of attraction, or even if we were then it’s clear that neither of us is willing to showcase it. Jungkook is the type to never have heard the word “no” so it’s easy for him to get what he wants. And currently, his fixation has been me, specifically the chemistry between us. But, I’m not the type to be played around with either, so with two strong-headed players it’s difficult to highlight the whole picture without missing the small details. Thus, we keep each other in place, allowing only surface affection to prevent deep-rooted emotional damage. Don’t get attached y/n.

Checking my watch for the tenth time, I shiver in my little jean jacket as the cashier at the ticket kiosk announces the final show times before closing. See, Jungkook and I planned to watch the new Spider-Man movie together, but the only problem is that he is nowhere to be found. Each one of my attempts at calling him goes straight to voicemail. Has he forgotten about our date? Not very on brand of him but maybe something has come up, so I decide to text him instead.

y/n: Hey, where are you? The theatre closes in about 45 minutes. Are you ok? Please call me.

No reply. Very strange. Actually, what’s more strange is the fact that his location has been turned off for the past 2 hours. Trying really hard not to go into a manic episode I focus on some deep breathing before succumbing to the sharp pain in my chest. Although my brain is telling me to stay calm, the heart never lies, right? Following my own delusion, I decided to stop by his apartment as there are a plethora of places Jungkook could be at right now, but this one just feels like a good start.

“Thank you,” I say to the taxi driver before making my way towards Jungkook’s apartment complex. It’s now about 11 pm, so the streets are quiet. As the elevator doors close, the sharp feeling in my chest intensifies making it hard to breathe. Nonetheless, I shake away the nerves and knock on his front door. No one answers, so I try again before using the spare key he gave me to “keep just in case I missed him at night”.

As the door slowly opens, my eyes scan the room for any signs of Jungkook. Although nothing was out of the ordinary, there was a sweet smell of cherry blossom lingering in the air, which did strike me as a surprise since he is more of a vanilla-scent type of guy. But, people change I guess, so I lock the door behind me before tiptoeing towards his bedroom.

“Jungkook hurry, I miss you,” a woman's voice echoes behind the bedroom door before it swings open. My mouth slightly drops at the sight of a half-naked redhead who seems to be just as confused as I am.

“Who are you?” she snaps, eying me up and down before turning her head towards the bathroom where Jungkook was currently in. I abrupt her attempt at getting his attention by pulling her out of the bedroom, slowly shutting the door behind me.

“I … I just needed to drop off something, but now I see that it's not the best time so I'll just head out. Umm, no need to tell Jungkook,” words stutter out of my mouth as my body begins to fuel with adrenaline from the sudden rush of emotions. Folding her hands in front of her chest, the redhead watches me rush out of the apartment before turning her attention back to Jungkook whose wet hair was dripping down his exposed chest.

“Who was that?”

“Some girl, she said she needed to drop something off …”

“Fuck y/n was here? Why didn’t you call me?” he snaps harshly, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie over his freshly washed body before rushing out the door.

The corridor towards the elevator seemed to never end as my steps got faster and my breathing slower. Pressing the 1st-floor button, my body finally gave in as I leaned back on the cold wall before resting my head. Looking at my reflection I can feel my eyes water, pathetic really. I told you not to get attached y/n. What did you expect from a relationship with no strings attached?

Before my subconscious could answer, the inner dialogue was interrupted by Jungkook, whose tattooed arm was now holding back the elevator door from closing. Quickly wiping the tears from my face I move to the other side as he stumbles inside.

“Y/n …” he lets out, voice raspy and deep. Turning on the emergency button, he turns his face towards me as the elevator halts. Feeling as if time had stopped completely, our bodies were still, eyes locked on each other.

“Y/n, please let me explain,” Jungkook whispers, reaching out his hands before I push them away.

“No need, I totally get it,” I snap, trying to maintain my composure as my throat tightens. Holding back the tears in my eyes I bite down on my lip, reaching out to press the 1st floor button again before I'm inches away from Jungkook's chest as his broad shoulders tower over my form. As my back hits the wall, goosebumps rise all over my skin from the sudden cold sensation.

“Jungkook, move or else I'll scream,”

“Do it. Scream, yell, I don't care, just please don't leave like this,” he says softly, pressing his forehead on mine as the scent of his body wash fills the small space between us.

“What do you want me to do? Dance? Do you want me to skip from joy upon seeing a half-naked woman in your apartment? Huh?” I yell at him, unable to control the tone in my voice any longer. Trying to push myself out of his grip I gasp for air as my throat tightens again.

“Shhh y/n please, you need to calm down,” Jungkook sighs, caressing the palms of my hands before meeting my teary eyes.

“Don’t tell me what to do, in fact, don’t ever talk to me again. Forget we ever happened. Here …” I scoff, placing the spare key into his hand before finally reaching for the 1st-floor button. As the elevator gets back in motion, his grip loosens but doesn’t let go completely.

“Hope she was worth it,”

Previous l Next

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sadiegirl2021 · 2 months ago

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Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie !

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing?

I have a notes app called EasyNotes where I jot down all my ideas as I get them; bits of dialogue I think would work in a fic, interactions between characters (which always come to me just as I'm about to drift off to sleep) and very, very rough outlines of chapters.

Then, I'll word vomit onto a doc and copy in any notes I had.

Because I'm better at dialogue than describing the scene, I'll write out all of that first and then work from there to flesh it out. Like starting with the skeleton.

Once I have the first draft done, I start my editing process. I go paragraph by paragraph correcting spelling and grammar (I have a Chrome extension called LanguageTool), and then I play the whole chapter through another Chrome extension called Read Aloud. Because of my ADHD, it can be difficult to catch all my errors by reading alone, so hearing it out loud helps A LOT! Would recommend it. (Although the voices used are hilarious. Hearing your smut scene's read out by a monotone robot is slightly traumatising 😂)

Once I'm happy with a paragraph, I will add HTML coding to it - the <p> tag. In my head, it's just the easiest way to mark that a paragraph is complete. If I'm still not sure about a sentence or paragraph, I will mark it in red to rework. I also add all my <i> tags as I'm writing, so I don't forget about them later!

I realise I'm doing too much! But, I quite enjoy the editing process.

Once I get a chapter or One Shot uploaded, I try my best not to read it again so I'm not continuously making little changes.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

I want to be a plotter SO BAD! I've got Excel sheets, multiple docs with outlines, plot points, and a solid plan. And then boom! The characters run off like a crazed toddler in the opposite direction, and all I can do is follow. So… I guess I'm a pantser!

What do you listen to when you are writing?

I have multiple Spotify playlists depending on the mood of the fic/chapter I'm writing. If I need to write emotional scenes, I'll put on some heartbreaking Emo songs from 2006! Or, if my energy drops while writing, I'll switch to 90s pop. Generally, though, I just listen to instrumental music. One of my fav playlists is this one.

What’s your drink of choice (while writing)?

Water. I am booooooring. It is sparkling, though!

Promote yourself! What’s your favourite thing you’ve written?

I think it's Hot Girl Summer. This was supposed to be a little funny, 5-10 chapter fic that wasn't serious. And it has spiralled into a multi POV, 40-chapter story with so much plot! I'm loving the process, though. And I think I will definitely have to get it bound when it's all done.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

I'm going to say Hot Girl Summer too. I think a lot of people aren't as interested in stories that follow both Gwynriel and Elucien (and sometimes E/riel or another pairing with their favourite characters) at the same time. I haven't seen many fics that do it, but they’re some of my favourites in the fandom, and I’m so happy to add to that list. If you're hesitant, I highly recommend giving them a try!

My favs are:

Call Me Home (by @propagandaprincess)

A Court of Vision and Bloom (by studentwriter666)

Best Laid Plans (by @trappedoutside124)

Do you have any advice for new writers?

First of all, just do it! It took me 33 years to build the confidence to try. For most of my life, I didn't think I was good enough to write, even though I had so many stories to tell. In my 20s, I probably wouldn’t have had the confidence to take the plunge. Writing opens you up to criticism (which I hate!), but I’m forever grateful that 99.9% of my readers have only ever been incredibly supportive and encouraging.

Don’t be afraid to use tools that help you. I know my limitations with ADHD, so I created a process that works for me. Everyone has a different method, and the right one is whatever works for you.

Finally, finding a community of like-minded people makes the whole process a lot more fun. I love helping others develop fic ideas or beta-reading for them, and appreciate all the support they give me. It really motivates me to keep writing.

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Flow and angst! I'm really working on improving these areas in my writing. I'm quite impatient and tend to rush through the plot rather than building up tension. I know I need to slow down and let the story breathe, but it's so hard! I just want my characters to kiss within the first 5 seconds 😂

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Eris Vanserra!

Gods, I love torturing this man! I've redeemed him so much in my fic that I'll be heartbroken if he truly turns out to be just a dickhead in the canon ACOTAR world!

Thank you for tagging me @olenvasynyt

No pressure tags: @sunshinebingo @avabrynne @thevalkyriesshadow @aldbooks @hlizr50

#asked and answered #tag game #writer life #writing process #acotar community #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #acotar fanfic #I spent way too much time thinking about these answers!

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stone-stars · 9 months ago

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Illuminate me on music!, I'm not good at it but I like hearing people talking things I don't know. So idk, start anywhere I wanna learn. Gimme music faces from emily's work

lol there's SO many places i could start. first, let me say that i get so in the weeds with this. you don't need to be me. however, murph and emily are really deliberate with their music placement so even if you don't go super deep, you can start to notice patterns, especially with the super frequently used songs.

when it comes to frequent songs, alli operationslipperypuppet also did a very helpful "hey how concerned should you be" breakdown of some common songs, which i'll link here. i would say if you want to start paying attention, some easy ones to check out and start listening for are the purge, unknown tome, kingshammer, valiant ol' cobb, mee maw's burden, a fate refused, the campaign themes, twinkling lights of galaderon, and a friend for life. all of these are available on spotify, with the exception of kingshammer, and have very consistent uses. (the bahumia theme isn't by emily, but is on spotify). if you want to hear kingshammer, a good use of it is around 50 minutes into c1e80, during hardwon's flashback (ad free, so you might have to go later for ads)

another thing to note is certain songs get very specific meanings when applied to given characters. mee maw's burden and unknown tome are used incredibly consistently throughout bev sr's hell arc. twinkling lights of galaderon and a bastard no more/hardwon takes the wheel (both names have been used) are used throughout hardwon's.

emily also tends to write a lot of location-based music. a lot of cities have their own themes and their own instrumentation. a great example of this is the tsunaire interlude from c3, which has a very unique sound. also for example, the crick tends to have a lot of similar instrumentation. if you listen through the crick album on spotify, you can start to hear it. there's a lot of strings/piano, drums, and a lot of notes are drawn out in a very specific way.

it's very consistent. there are also like 200+ songs written for this podcast at this point, and so knowing every one of them is insane. but if you start to be like "i've heard this song before, where did i hear it" chances are it's in a moment that connects thematically. i can go into a lot more detail about any of this, this kinda became a "hey here's how to start tracking naddpod music" post more than anything and not really about the themes/uses of songs, but! yeah!

some fun little bonus notes of songs that are only used a few times but that i am insane about the repetition of:

a song called "torn apart" is used when moonshine opens the rift to the feywild during the tarrasque fight, and also when the world is breaking apart after the thiala fight and the boobs heal it

"i just want to know you're taken care of" is the song that is played when moonshine tells paw paw to write up her will. it's also played when lydia tells her that she deserves to be heard by her friends and she should tell them about her plans in hell. it's also used in c3 when callie tells foster that she's sorry for not giving him love.

"a memory" is introduced in episode 100 as thiala shows everyone the failed past adventurers and the "wheel of sorrow". it has recently been used in c3 for both references to the boobs and to melora's adventuring party (melora/telaine/aryox)

there is a specific royalty free (i think) choral song that plays when gemma appears at the party, when gemma dies, when jaina almost kills hardwon, and then later when hardwon dies at scarlet montgomery's hands. do with this what you will.

this isn't about a reuse but the song that plays in ep 70 when moonshine and lucanus are talking is called "a miracle child" and i need more people to know that.

i am insane about "a glittering reunion" (from melora and telaine's in 97) on so many levels. telaine is the piano. melora is the strings. i need to lay down.

#naddmusic tag #hanbles #naddplog #going insane about music on this friday #ask #i hope this is. at all helpful lol

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littleturtlefish · 1 year ago

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Just a heads up for US (and Canadian, I think?) university and high school students and professors:

There's an organization called Canary Mission that doxxes students/professors who show their support for Palestine and/or any criticism towards Israel. On their website, (I don't feel comfortable linking it, as it may increase its popularity on Google + looking up your name is probably not a good idea if you're doing it on their own website) they straight up write paragraphs about these people: what they did to end up on the site (includes evidence such as videos and photos), their location, their graduation plans, their social media links (Spotify, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.), and more. They also have a Twitter, which doesn't post as much info but still very much tweets out full names and similar stuff. Their entire goal is to silence people.

Report and block their Twitter. There's a link in my sources where you can report the site to the FBI.

Sorry if this is a bit lackluster in info and such. It's 5 AM right now and I don't have a lot of time to pile up a lot of sources but I feel like this is very important to spread.

Sources:

(This is where I first found out about this. Thread has the FBI link to report the site for doxxing but honestly...I have no idea how to report it. Someone asked what category to choose in the FBI link but didn't get a reply so if you know, lemme know and I'll edit this post)

(Tips on how to avoid being targeted such as creating a backup email for accounts that express Palestinian support or covering up any identifiable features [piercings, tattoos, dye, etc.] in protests) (also has a link at end of thread where you can donate to palestinians with just a single click every day)

Even though I strongly recommend to NOT DO THIS, I did check out the site + twitter to actually understand what's going on and god, it's so fucking pathetic. Obviously not linking anything but everything described is true

#palestine #israel #gaza #free palestine #free gaza #canary mission #doxxing #thirty-fifth post

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months ago

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Clara Bow outro thoughts:

The two main muses for Clara Bow are vital to the song. Clara Bow herself did not end up alright after Hollywood chewed her up and spit her out (there could be something to be said about her husband as well, but that is a different conversation). She was broken by the machine.

Stevie Nicks ended up alright. She is Stevie Nicks and is still doing things. However, I think there were times when she probably felt like she was not going to be alright.

Taylor dropping her own name is both a flex and a solid mix of the first two muses. The flex is she knows executives are now telling new artists that they could be her (I am guessing she does not think this is a good thing based on her experiences with fame). This is not about any single artist so people should shut up there.

But the other part is she is begging the question: will I be alright (like Stevie) or not (like Clara). And it shows how much of a roll of the dice it is for anyone grappling with fame.

And then there is the great irony of "you've got edge, she never did" following her name. No, Taylor has had edge for years. Blank Space calling out the media and how they portray her. Her taking on Spotify and Apple Music. Her leaving BMR for Republic taking a leap of faith from the only place she knew. Her re-recording her catalogue so she'd own it all. And on her album with WAOLOM and other edgy songs. Just a lot of her guts is shrouded in politeness.

And then there is how her and her family have managed her career. They've done it with a few people hired on. Not all these career managers or whatever. For better or worse, they handled it and now they're saying that more singers are going to non-managers like family members to manage them. It is interesting to think how Taylor might have influenced that.

The other interesting part is the "we're loving it". Unless I am grossly mistaken, I don't think any executive has loved her planning long-term because they saw her as disposable like most pop stars: limited time warranty that cannot stick around long-term. See, Katy Perry (no hate, just a fact).

That’s a really interesting observation about how you see Taylor as a mix of the two inspirations that come before her in the song. I wouldn’t have pieced that together, but I can see where you’re coming from!

What I see as the through line in the song, from Clara Bow to the unnamed future successor of Taylor’s, is that ultimately, what “they” want out of the women is ephemeral and unknowable, because what makes them “it” changes with the tide of public opinion. But also, these women create their own waves that in turn get emulated, exhausted and discarded for the next big thing. It’s a never ending cycle and has been since the dawn of Hollywood.

These women are exalted only to be torn down and struggle in their personal lives to cope. Clara Bow was one of Hollywood’s biggest stars but ended up leaving it all after what I understand was more or less a nervous breakdown and struggled with mental health until her death. Stevie Nicks blazed trails in rock and roll, but struggled with addiction for years and had her love life (e.g. with Lindsey Buckingham, among others) splashed all over the gossip pages. (I’m old enough to remember when Stevie’s cocaine use was a punchline by comedians.) We all know what Taylor’s gone through, between the shame over her love life to the deliberate attempt to destroy her career with Snakegate. Whoever comes next will face their own battle in turn. To me, the message is that the cycle will always perpetuate itself, even if it comes in different window dressing. The scrutiny over these women’s sex lives and virtue signalling seems to never end. Nobody comes out unscathed, but it’s a matter of what price they’ll pay for it.

“You’ve got edge, she never did,” to me is sooooo telling and also like, a reflection of the whole cyclical process of it all. For instance, Taylor was held up as this role model in her teen years and early 20s, which she deeply internalized and as we know now, was probably quite damaging in a lot of ways when she started growing up and the standards to which she was held were impossible to reconcile with an adult woman. She was supposed to be girlish and chaste, but not so girlish and chaste that she didn’t also appeal to men. That’s a hell of a thing to deal with as a hormonal 16 year old, and even more damaging as a 20something woman trying to find herself and own her sensuality and sexuality.

Taylor was the fairytale princess love song girl, because that’s what people wanted out of her, but she was just as quickly turn down for that hyper-perfectionist image after 1989 and she had to rebuild her entire self from the ground up in many ways. But the line in the song is kind of ironic; the person is blaming Taylor (the image of Taylor, because Taylor herself is a character in this whole story) for being a goody-twoshoes, but it ignores the fact that that was an image projected onto her as much as the next girl might be extolled for being punk, or whatever, and how the pendulum of public favour swings violently and at lightning speed. Taylor falls from grace and then the next big thing is her polar opposite in appearance only, but the same mechanics operate behind the scene and that next person will get chewed and spat out as much as Taylor did.

(We know Taylor is a badass in all aspects of her career, but I think she’s always going to be associated with the image she had when she first became famous, no matter how many eras pass by.)

So by the time we get to the “We’re loving it,” again, it’s a commentary on how the industry will create variations on a theme with these stars, and say “yes this is the one we want,” but ultimately they all meet the same fate. Because it is a cycle, and there will always be someone in the wings waiting to fill the void.

#Clara bow #Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey

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pardonmydelays · 2 months ago

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prison gang as tøp songs?

everyone gets three songs, because i just couldn't decide (i even made a playlist but it's more for me than for you cause i'm not gonna force you to listen to it, obviously). there will be very little explanation, just some quotes:

ME: forest + car radio + backslide (forest is the one i relate to the most, it's not on spotify so youtube is your only option if you wanna listen to it)

the situation's becoming dire, my treehouse is on fire and for some reason i smell gas on my hands, this is not what i had planned...

i'm forced to deal with what i feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real, i could pull the steering wheel

cause i feel the pull, water's over my head, strength enough for one more time, reach my hand above the tide, i'll take anything you have if you could throw me a line...

BEL: heavydirtysoul + midwest indigo + migraine (in my mind those are your songs now, they are not mine anymore, and i honestly love it so very much)

gangsters don't cry, therefore, therefore i'm mr misty-eyed... can you save my heavy dirty soul?

i want love and sunny days, i'm a bit too old to run away, you make me sad and second-guess myself, you can be so cold...

am i the only one i know waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? shadows will scream that i'm alone... but i know we've made it this far, kid.

RED: formidable + paladin strait + bandito (for some reason i gave you all joshler songs, and yes, formidable is not about jenna, it's about josh)

i'll follow you, but you should know, i might be cynical towards you, i'm just worried my loyalty will bore you, i can die with you, just let me know.

i would swim the paladin strait without any floatation, just a glimpse of visual aid of you on the other shoreline, waiting, expectations that i'm gonna make it...

i could take the high road, but i know that i'm going low... i'm a ban-, i'm a bandito...

ANIX: taxi cab + the craving (jenna's version) + nico and the niners (i was crying while typing this, especially because of taxi cab, maybe i will explain it to you one day)

i know the night will turn to grey, i know the stars will start to fade when all the darkness fades away, we had to steal him from his fate so he could see another day...

say enough, say enough, did i let her know, let her know? if i found my body in chains i'd lay down and wait and hope she looks for me...

i'm careless when i wear my rebel clothes, when bishops come together they will know that dema don't control us.

M: oh ms believer + screen + shy away (two of those three always make me cry, i don't know why but in your case it was such an obvious choice)

oh, ms believer, my pretty weeper, your twisted thoughts are like snow on the rooftops, please take my hand, we're in foreign land, as we travel through snow, together we go...

i do not know why i would go in front of you and hide my soul, cause you're the only one who knows it... yeah, you're the only one who knows it.

don't you shy away, manifest a ceiling when you shy away, searching for that feeling just like an "i love you" that isn't words, like a song he wrote that's never heard.

EDITH: tear in my heart + we don't believe what's on tv + oldies station (it's totally not because you love oldies station, but somehow i feel like even if you don't like twenty one pilots, you may actually like those three)

sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you're alive and have a soul, but it takes someone to come around and show you how...

i need to know that when i fail you'll still be here, cause if you stick around i'll sing you pretty sounds and we'll make money selling your hair

add some years, build some trust, you start to feel your eyes adjust, when darkness rolls on you, push on through.

#wow this is a motherfucking essay #i mean you don't even have to read it #that's why i don't wanna tag you #it's whatever idk #i honestly don't even know why i spent so much time on this #anyway #it's based mostly on vibes i guess #anon #prison gang #i saved every letter you wrote me*

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stiles-o-dylan24 · 1 year ago

Text

King of My Heart Chapter 19 - The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

Author: @stiles-o-dylan24 Pairing: Steve x Summer Byers (eventually) Word Count: 5.8k Warnings: language, mentions of guns, dual pov SERIES SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

|| << PREV || MASTERLIST || NEXT >> ||

SUMMER POV

Rain is on the forecast for today so Steve thankfully offered to stop by the house to pick me up and take me to work so I didn’t have to ride my bike.

I meet him outside and climb into the front seat, smiling over at him as I shove my bag and my rain jacket down against the side of my leg “Thanks for picking me up.”

He lifts his hand off the steering wheel, shifting back in his seat as he returns with a smile of his own and stammers “Yeah, yeah– of– of course, any time.”

Once we get to the mall we unlock the front gate and head into Scoops, working through the opening checklist and getting everything ready for when the mall opens.

Robin shows up almost an hour into our shift and she grabs her headphones out of her backpack and sets them on the back counter while we wait for Dustin to arrive with the tape recorder.

Once Dustin gets to Scoops we make our plan for the day– he hands the tape recorder to Robin so that she and I can continue listening to the recording and see if there’s any other clues or part of the code to translate.

While we stay at the ice cream parlor to do that Steve and Dustin head out for a stake out of sorts, trying to see if they can see anything out of the ordinary or any evil Russians that stand out among the mall patrons.

I’ve got the headphones on and I’m listening to the recording again while Robin wipes down some tables. I hear the bell ring on the front counter a few times before I look over my shoulder and see Erica and her friends here once again.

I smile at her and spin around to face her, dropping the headphones down to rest around my neck “Yes, Erica?”

She smiles a little forced smile and brightly announces “I’d like to try the peanut butter chocolate swirl, please.”

I snort and shake my head softly at her “No, I’m sorry but no more samples today.”

Her face falls as she asks “Why not?” and Robin walks back behind the counter, chiming in “Because you have been in here the last few days, including this morning, sampling flavors.”

Erica swings her offended eyes from Robin and back at me and I raise my brows once with my words “You’re abusing our company policy which is to allow someone to try one or two flavors to make a decision”

“I am trying to make a decision” Erica counters and I’m quick to laugh once and throw back at her “You’ve tried every flavor twice– you know which ones you like.”

Erica throws me a frustrated look and looks around “Where’s the sailor man?”

Robin chuckles and I shake my head at Erica as I answer her “Sorry, but Harrington can’t help you today– he’s busy.”

“Busy with what?” she asks and I share a look with Robin who smiles and answers “Spycraft.”

⋇・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・⋇

STEVE POV

Dustin and I head towards the center of the food court where the seating area is surrounded by an outline of planters that are filled with fake plants. We head to the back left of the bench area so we’ll be able to see everyone walking by from the front main entrance of the mall as well as the escalators.

Dustin lifts up the binoculars that he brought and hands them over to me. I grab them and toss the strap behind my neck before I lift the binoculars up so I can look through them. I slowly move from side to side so I can look at everyone I can see around us down on the first floor as well as up above us on the second floor.

“You see anything?” Dustin asks and I make a noise as I reply “Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.”

“Evil Russians” he says like it’s obvious and I resist the urge to roll my eyes as I say slowly “Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like.”

“Tall, blond, not smiling” Dustin offers and I sigh “Mm-hmm?” while Dustin continues “Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing.”

“Right, okay, duffel bags” I repeat absentmindedly and move the binoculars so I can look up at the second floor level, scoffing at what I see next “Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.”

“What?” I hear Dustin say and I grimace as I fill in “Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky.”

“If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars” Dustin sighs, however, I just talk over him “Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards? I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench.”

Dustin makes a noise and says “Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?” as he grabs the binoculars from my hands and pulls them towards him. Problem being the strap is still around my neck so I lean with his pull and say “Stop, hey,” at the same time he says “Give me those.” I succeed in removing the strap attached to the binoculars from my neck and toss it at him “Just stop being so impatient.”

Dustin takes the binoculars and lifts them up to look through them, throwing at me “Besides I don't get why you're even looking at other girls–” he starts and I’m quick to interrupt “I wasn’t looking at other girls, I just saw them together and it was a little appalling.”

Dustin looks over at me just to roll his eyes before he goes back to looking through the binoculars “You literally have the perfect girl right in front of you.”

I sigh, lifting my arm up to lean against the planter wall in front of us “Seriously, if you say Summer again…”

“Summer– okay, Steve,” he drops the binoculars once more to look right at me while he stresses “Summer. I mean what the hell have you been doing for the past few months?”

“Nothing man–” I start and he just nods, interrupting me “Exactly, nothing–" he scoffs, shaking his head and continuing "Even I can see you’re not doing anything... I think you’re taking your 'not caring' advice a little too literally.”

“Summer was never a girl that was going to fall for the 'not caring' trick” I scoff lightly, shaking my head as I look down at the fake plant in front of me. I hit the leaves and sigh to myself, not wanting to admit to this little twerp that what I’ve been doing for months is trying to figure out if I even have a shot with Summer… which no matter how much I want to look into how she is acting more friendly towards me, I keep coming back to the same conclusion– I don’t stand a chance in hell with her.

Dustin snorts, completely oblivious to my turmoil “Yeah well what’s your trick going to be for getting Summer then?”

“There are no tricks, man,” I breathe out helplessly, shaking my head as I continue “Besides I already told you she is different– you don’t get a girl like Summer, you’re winning the state championship lucky if she decides you’re worth her time. She’s–”

“Perfect” Dustin interjects and I nod, looking over at him “Yeah exactly– Sum is perfect.”

Dustin sighs, looking at me quickly before resuming his binocular lookout “She’s also perfect for you.”

“Maybe,” I mutter quietly, shaking my head once as to not get my hopes up as I drum my fingers against the top of the planter “But that fact goes out the window when you think about how I’m not perfect for her”

“Steve, stop selling yourself short” Dustin tells me and I look over at him “No I’m serious, I’m not– she deserves someone better than who I was and how I treated her for years”

“You’re not that person anymore” Dustin says and I draw my brows together while I question genuinely “How exactly do you figure that?”

Dustin drops the binoculars down once more and connects his serious eyes with mine to make sure I hear him when he says “Because Summer wouldn’t be friends with you if you were.”

I’m silent with that, really wanting to punch him in the shoulder for attempting to get my hopes up with everything he’s saying right now. While I appreciate it, he’s not any closer to knowing what’s going on in her head than I am.

“Pretty sure all she will ever see me as is a friend” I grumble pathetically and Dustin rolls his eyes “You never know until you ask her– like with me and Suzie.”

“Oh, Suzie” I state, widening my eyes a little while I humor him “Yeah, you mean, hotter than Phoebe Cates– yeah, that Suzie. And, uh, let's think about how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend? Oh, yeah. With my advice. Because that's how this works, Henderson. I give you the advice, you follow through. Not the other way around, all right, pea brain?”

Dustin snorts, not even bothering to look at me as he counters back quickly “Deflecting is a nice touch to let me know that you know I’m right.”

Dammit, Henderson.

I scoff and roll my eyes, looking away from him so he can’t see that I do in fact know he is right– I do just need to bring it up to her.

Worst thing she can tell me is she won’t ever see me as anything else other than the same shallow douche she went to school with– which she has told me before so it wouldn’t be anything I haven’t heard before.

Only difference now being I actually like her so her shooting me down will actually hurt.

“How am I supposed to just bring that up to her though?” I ask and I can hear the smile in his words “Summer is like the easiest person to talk to–”

“Yes I’m aware…" I deadpan towards him, sarcastically laughing once "But, you know, baring my feelings to her is understandably going to be a little more nerve wracking than how’s your trauma from fighting monster slug babies going?”

“Steve, come on” Dustin says a little louder than before and he looks at me, raising his brows at me like I’m ridiculous for being this worried and I jerk my head back in my bewilderment.

Dustin just rolls his eyes and continues “You are so worried and nervous that she’s going to turn you down but have you even stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, she feels the same way about you?”

I make a face, shaking my head once as I fire back “Umm no” and he just sighs loudly through his frustration “Jesus Harrington, you already got her to somehow agree to be your friend and to work with you– I think getting her to agree to date you wouldn’t be too far of a stretch.”

I think about that for a few seconds, ultimately landing on he’s crazy and I let him know just that “Yeah and I think that you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think I’m the only one who knows anything at this point– you two are idiots” Dustin remarks and I hit his shoulder lightly “Hey, don’t call her an idiot.”

Dustin just rolls his eyes and lifts up the binoculars again, sarcastically laughing at me “Oh my god just tell her you love her already or I will do it for you.”

I drop my mouth open in shock, glaring at the side of his head and silently cursing the little jackass.

It’s only a few minutes later though when thoughts of feelings and Summer get the pause button when Dustin is saying “Target acquired” and I look up in the direction he’s looking “Where?”

“Ten o' clock” Dustin says, continuing with “Sam Goody's” as I reach for the binoculars and say “Give me that.”

I look through the binoculars and find Sam Goody’s, my eyes widening behind the lenses when I see a not smiling, tall, long blond haired guy wearing sunglasses and carrying something over the back of his shoulder.

“Shit” I breathe out, noticing what exactly is in his hand and announcing “Duffel bag.”

I drop the binoculars down and look at Dustin, both of us muttering at the same time “Evil Russian.”

The long blond haired evil Russian heads up the escalator towards the top floor, so Dustin and I quickly follow after him, choosing to instead run up the escalator once he’s stepped off of it.

We head to the right and follow behind him, and while I’m trying not to lose him by walking quickly Dustin is countering that plan as he says “Slow down.”

“We're losin' him” I reply, trying to keep an eye on him through the crowd in between us and Dustin argues “You're getting too close.”

Someone bumps their shoulder into mine, exclaiming loudly back at me “Watch it, dickwad” and I notice how the guy we’re following stops walking.

When he starts to look over his shoulder Dustin and I quickly step off to the side and I turn in a circle before I come to a stop and look through a store's front display window. Dustin grabs the payphone off of the receiver and talks into it in the most monotone voice “Hello. Yes. I am fine. How are you?”

I look through the leaves of the fake tree that's in between us and notice the guy turn back around and start walking forwards again.

I step towards Dustin and tap his shoulder to get him to walk with me again and he reaches over to hang up the phone.

We follow the guy until he makes a move to walk around to the walkway on the other side from where we are so we hide behind a pillar and keep watching which direction he’s going to be heading in.

He however doesn't keep going along the walkway and instead walks through the front doorway into a Jazzercise store front with a bunch of women inside who are stretching on workout mats.

As soon as he’s half way inside he starts yelling “All right, everyone, listen up!” he sets his duffle bag on the counter and unzips it “I just have one question for you. Who… is ready to sweat?”

He finishes his question by lifting out a boombox from the duffle bag and all the women inside the room stand up and face him, cheering and clapping with their excitement as an answer.

“What the–” I trail off as the notes of Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go start to play in the room and he takes off his jacket “That's right! Okay! Let's start it nice and easy now.”

He finishes taking off his jacket and reveals a workout outfit as he starts to move his hips, saying instructions to the group in front of him “Let's move our thighs. Yeah!”

I frown as we continue to watch him begin this jazzercise class before I tap Dustin on the shoulder and nod my head back towards the direction of Scoops “Let’s head back, yeah?”

“Yeah” Dustin sighs and we turn around, walking back the way we just came from.

⋇・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・⋇

SUMMER POV

Once the rush of the afternoon dies down, Robin hops up to sit on the back counter and opens the window into the back where I’m pacing back and forth with the headphones around my neck and my arms crossed over my chest.

Robin makes a noise to gain my attention while she leans over to hit her hand on the counter that’s on my side of the window “Come on, sit down and we can go over this again.”

I look over at her and she just smiles a little more, tapping the counter twice more and I huff through my frustration “There’s nothing else to translate though it just repeats.”

“I know” she hits the counter again “Come on– up, up”

I drop my arms down to my sides and walk over to the counter, hopping up and spinning around to face her. I cross my legs in front of me and set my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands in front of me.

She makes a noise and grabs the notepad with our translation on it and she reads it slowly "The week is long… the silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west… a trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly."

“Tread lightly?” she repeats and grabs the translation dictionary to flip through the pages again.

“You gotta be quiet?” I offer oh so helpfully and Robin throws me a look, trying not to laugh as she turns another page. I make a half laugh noise and huff, keeping my elbows on my knees while I set my hands on the sides of my face “I have no idea but my brain hurts, none of this is making any more sense today than it wasn’t last night”

“I know” she agrees, breathing out a sigh before she lifts up her soda cup and takes a sip.

There’s a knock on the back door from the service hallways and I sit up straight, saying “I got it” before I spin back around and hop off the counter. I walk over to the door and open it, seeing a delivery guy with a dolly. He smiles an exhausted smile and holds the clipboard out for me to sign the delivery sheet “Delivery for you.”

“Thank you” I reply and as I’m handing the clipboard back to him I notice the name on his uniform shirt and my eyes travel up to his hat which says the same thing– no fucking way.

A lynx is definitely a type of cat… and 'feeds'... what if that's code for delivers?

He sets the box onto the floor by my feet and grabs the clipboard from me “Have a nice day”

“Yeah you too,” I reply absentmindedly and he starts to walk away back down the hallway.

“Summer?” Robin calls from behind me and I quickly look back at her and see her lift her shoulders up with her question “What’s wrong?”

I make a noise and quickly step out through the door, looking down the hallway and seeing the the silver cat head logo on the back of his uniform. I widen my eyes a little as I mutter “The silver cat feeds”

“What?” Robin calls from the other side of the window and I look over at her, closing the door and repeating a little louder “The fucking silver cat feeds!”

She jerks her head back, furrowing her brows in her confusion while I quickly run towards the door that leads into the parlor.

“Summer, wait” Robin calls and swings her legs around from how she was also facing the window. She hops down and follows after me just as I’m passing by Dustin and Steve as they walk into Scoops “Yo Sum, you’re not gonna believe who Dustin thought was a Russian” Steve says to me, quickly followed by Dustin saying “You did too” however over Steve’s response of “No I did not” I just wave my hand at them as I run past and say “SIlver cat– I found the silver cat”

“Wait, you found what?” they call out behind me as I run into the mall and head for the center seating area that’s surrounded by the food restaurants. There’s a bunch of fake trees and bushes right in the center with benches surrounding them in a circle and I run right for an empty bench, hopping up onto it while I look around at all the different stores. If silver cat is a delivery person then these other stores have to be the other clues, specifically where they’re delivering and possibly when.

"A trip to China sounds nice" I mutter quietly, quickly looking around and repeating “A trip to China sounds nice– a trip to China– sounds nice… a trip to China” I stop when I find the Imperial Panda cuisine restaurant and half laugh to myself as I lift my hand up with my words “A trip to China sounds nice.”

"Okay, if you tread lightly" I move on to the next clue, moving my eyes along the stores down here and also what I can see on the second level “If you tread…,” I swing around, looking at all the stores surrounding the food court area and stop when I see the Kaufman Shoe store on the second floor above me and I smile, repeating “If you tread lightly”

"When…” I frown, quickly looking up at what stores could be blue or yellow “When blue and yellow meet in the west" I spin in a circle, my eyes landing on a massive clock and I smile when I notice the hands are the exact colors I need “When blue meets yellow… in the west–” I laugh once, whispering “Eight forty five.”

“Sum” I hear Steve call my name as he, Robin and Dustin stop in front of me and I look down at them, watching as Steve lifts his arms out to his sides “What are you doing?”

“I cracked it” I state proudly, smiling even wider and Steve just furrows his brows “You cracked what exactly?”

Robin smiles and points at me “Holy shit, super genius here cracked the code”

Steve and Dustin widen their eyes and look from her and back at me, Dustin asking “The super secret spy code?” While Steve says “Seriously? What is it?”

“Come on” I say and smile, hopping down off the bench and the four of us head back into Scoops.

“So?” Steve asks when we walk into the back of the store and I fill them in on what I found “I think the evil russians are having something delivered here to the mall using the Lynx delivery service whose logo is a silver cat and they’re using the Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes as a cover for their deliveries.”

“What about blue meets yellow in the west?” Dustin asks and I smile, lifting my brows up once with my final riddle solving words “The hands on the clock are blue and yellow so it’s a specific time for this delivery… eight forty five.”

“Holy shit” Steve mumbles and Dustin laughs through his excitement “That's definitely a super secret spy plan– so what do we do?”

“I think” I say, shrugging my shoulders while I look between them all and continue “In just over six hours we should head up to the roof opposite the loading dock where the deliveries come in and see what exactly gets delivered and where exactly it gets delivered to.”

The three of them offer nods of agreement, smiling in our nervous excitement as Robin laughs once "I can't believe we were right."

“What are we supposed to do until then?” Dustin half whines and I set my hands on my hips, smiling “We need to figure out how to get to the roof and not be seen by whoever is getting these deliveries."

Robin and Dustin stay at Scoops while Steve and I follow the evacuation route in the hallway that will lead us outside. Though before we get to the hallway that leads out the back exit we turn to the right and find another door with a stairs access sign on it. We open it and find a stairwell with a sign on the far wall saying roof access, I smile and point over towards it “That looks promising.”

Steve raises his brows once and holds open the door for me “After you, m'lady.”

I chuckle and walk past him and he makes sure the door isn’t going to lock on us. We close it softly to where it doesn’t latch just in case and we head up to the stairs towards the roof.

We open the door we find at the top of the stairs and prop it open with a rock we find off to the side, figuring that’s probably what it’s been used for, before we step out onto the roof.

I slowly move towards the ledge to our left, seeing the coast is clear from anyone standing around and I try to figure out where we are. Steve shares a look with me and we slowly walk across the roof to the far side of the ledge and down below we see a delivery truck leaving from the loading dock area “This has to be it, right?” Steve asks and I nod “It’s gotta be.”

I look up at him and see him smile when I do, asking me “So we’re really going to do this?”

I shrug and look back at the ledge, pointing at it as I crouch down behind it “This is high enough that we shouldn’t be seen by anyone standing down there–” I look up at him and he nods in agreement while he crouches down beside me and I continue with a little shrug “Very low risk and we’ll just be observing if my code cracking was right.”

Steve chuckles, nodding as he rests his arms on his knees and looks around “Yeah, definitely shouldn’t find ourselves in our usual risky monster situations with this stake out.”

He smiles and stands up with that, holding his hand out for me. I smile softly and set my hand in his, feeling him wrap his fingers around mine so he can pull me up.

With my hand still in his, I feel a raindrop on my arm and another one before I quickly look up at the dark cloudy sky above us “Well rain will definitely make the stake out interesting.”

Steve chuckles and in the next instant the clouds open up and it starts pouring down on us. “Oh!” Steve flinches back and increases his hold on my hand while we run back to the door, laughing as I lift my free hand up to push my wet hair out of my face.

Steve does the same with his hair, looking from the pouring rain belting down onto the roof in front of us and down at me. I watch as the water drops slowly roll down his face and off his eyelashes, the smell of the rain surrounding us and I smile brightly “The smell of rain on the pavement is one of my favorite things about a summer rainstorm”

Steve smiles, nodding his head slowly as he moves his eyes between mine “Mine too, nothing really quite like it.”

Silently he reaches up and moves his fingers along the side of my head near my temple, moving some of my hair that apparently was stuck to my skin and I shiver– mentally telling myself it has everything to do with the rain seeping into my clothes and absolutely nothing to do with him touching me.

I feel his hand squeeze around mine again and it seems to make us both startle since we realize at the same time he’s been holding my hand this whole time. He nervously clears his throat and lets go, reaching up to scratch the side of his temple as he mumbles a quiet “Sorry, I uh–”

I smile, shaking my head like it’s not a big deal and Steve lifts his arm to point over his shoulder to indicate the stairwell “We should, uh, head back and let them know what we found.”

“Yeah” I breathe out “Yeah, let’s go” I nod and hold onto the door handle for support while I move the rock out of the way with my foot.

When we get back to the hallway for Scoops we knock on the back door and Dustin opens the door for us, jerking his head back when he looks at us and our drenched state and smiling wide “What happened to you two?”

“It’s raining, Dustpan” I remark like it’s obvious and he nods slowly “So just got caught out in a rainstorm on the roof… that’s–”

“Wet” Steve interjects, nodding his head once and raising his brows towards him “We’re wet, Henderson now can you move so we can grab some of the towels.”

Dustin moves aside, sharing a knowing look with Steve that I throw a curious look at and when he notices he clears his throat and his face from any previous humor he had.

I look over at Steve and he smiles softly, holding out one of the clean cleaning towels for me and I wipe off my arms and face while he does the same.

Since Dustin doesn’t have a jacket, and he refused to use one of ours, we improvise and spend the rest of the time fashioning out a rain cover for him as best we can with some trash bags and duct tape.

Just before eight thirty we head through the service hallways, up the stairs and out onto the roof that Steve and I found will give us the best vantage point of the delivery dock area.

Once we make sure our roof is clear, and Dustin checks the surrounding roofs are clear from any other lookouts with his binoculars, we step out into the rain. The rain is coming down in sheets, followed by the occasional lightning strike and thunderclap while we crouch down behind the ledge and wait for this delivery to happen or not.

The four of us peer over the ledge just enough for our elbows to rest on top of it and we keep our heads low while we watch the back doors.

“How sure are we that this delivery happens every night?” Robin asks what we’re probably all thinking and I shrug, offering lightheartedly “About fifty percent.”

“Hating those odds, Byers” Steve grumbles and I smile over at him “If it’s not tonight, Harrington, then we can always meet out here tomorrow and see...”

Steve throws a sarcastic thumbs up my way before he squeezes his eyes shut from the rain getting in his eyes.

I set my hands on the ledge and mumbling honestly "And there's also the chance I didn't actually crack this code correctly."

"No, you did–" Steve says, smiling reassuringly at me when I look over at him and he nods "It makes too much sense for you to be wrong, Sum."

Sure enough at fifteen to nine a delivery truck pulls around the back of the mall and starts to back in towards the loading dock area where two guys are standing armed with guns.

“Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes” I remind Dustin who has his binoculars and is looking at the two guards and the delivery truck.

A guy in a yellow jacket walks out from behind the truck with a red dolly carrying a stack of three boxes and Dustin confirms “Those stores boxes are with that whistling guy, ten o'clock.”

“What do you think's in there?” Steve asks and Dustin answers without missing a beat “Guns, bombs?”

“Chemical weapons?” I shrug and Steve looks over at me, wiping his face with his hand to get the rain out of his eyes.

“Whatever it is, they're armed to the teeth” Dustin continues and Steve once again wipes his fingers over his eyes to clear the water from them “Great,” he nods once, repeating “That's great.”

We see one of the guards sling his gun back behind his shoulder as he walks over to the side panel next to the two big gray doors and he taps the panel. I see a green light shine before the doors open and the guy in the yellow rain jacket with a silver cat logo on the back puts his foot on the back of the dolly. He pulls the dolly back towards him and walks towards the doors that just opened up.

“Hey, what's in there?” Robin asks and Dustin answers “It's just more boxes.”

Steve reaches over and tries to grab the binoculars “Let me check it out.”

“No, I'm still looking,” Dustin argues and Steve continues to try and grab the binoculars from him “Lemme see it.”

“Hang on!” Dustin says at the same time a loud thud rings out as the binoculars slip from their grip and hit the side of the roof ledge we’re looking over.

Both of the guards hear the ominous thud sound and we gasp, Dustin ordering “Duck!”

I move quickly to drop down below the ledge and turn around to lay back against it as flat as I can. Robin twists out of sight on one side of me while Steve does the same on my other side and Dustin flips around on Steve’s other side.

At the thought of us being seen adrenaline starts coursing through my body and my breathing starts coming out in quick, nervous pants. Everything from the echo of the binocular thud to the guards reacting to us ducking out of sight all happens so fast that I don’t even register that Steve grabbed my hand in the middle of all of that. His fingers are linked in between mine, gripping tightly while he holds up our hands in between us. Slowly I look from our hands and over towards him, watching as he does the same and looks at me. He doesn’t let go of my hand, just keeps hold of me as he silently tries to reassure me that we’re going to be okay and I squeeze his hand back.

I can just make out through the pouring rain something being shouted in what I’m betting money on is Russian and I slightly widen my eyes at Steve. He nods like he’s coming to the same conclusion that they’re probably going to search up here and we move to get up, telling Dustin and Robin “Come on, hurry”

Steve keeps a hold of my hand while we quickly run across the roof to the door, only letting go once he opens the door and ushers us all inside. We’re rushing down the stairs and taking the first door we come to that will lead us back into our service hallway before I know it and I breathe out a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves with how close that all was.

We quickly make our way down the hallway, our wet shoes squeaking on the floor as we walk around corners mixing with our panting breaths, and Robin looks between us, smiling nervously “Well, I think we found your Russians.”

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Posted: 18 Aug 2023

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