#no i barely remember the original scene and no idc i wrote it along with like 4 other harrow drabbles but Yeah I’m So Normal about them

[self-spaghettification]

800 words - T - Missing Virrow Scene (?)

one first time, one last time

“I’ll leave you to your grief.” Viren sighs out sadly, and Harrow can’t stop himself from asking him to stop and wait. To not go, just yet, because he needed him, like he had so many times before, left unsaid. 

Viren stopped.

“I… need you.” It felt shameful to even utter the broken words aloud, broken words from a broken man, but it was true. 

Viren laughed at the unexpected request, eyebrow raised. “What do you need *me* for?”

Harrow’s heart broke at the flippant reply, and he stuttered with a tight throat. “I……”

He needed him in a way that didn’t mean dark magic or “creative solutions”, that spoke to the heartstrings awoken and singing in fear as Viren went to sacrifice himself for Sarai, a way that would only be satiated now that Viren had finally reached back out to him after years silenced by grief. He needed his longest time friend to be there for him the way he used to again, just one last time at least, before either of them might die in a fruitless vengeful effort. 

“Harrow..” Viren sighed, laying a hand on his shoulder in concern.

Set loose by the sudden physical touch, Harrow squeezed Viren in a hug. “Can you just stay with me for a moment please, old friend?” He murmured. 

“I.. suppose so.” He sighed, still surprised and concerned by the sudden strength of Harrow’s emotions, the hatred towards Avizandum and the unexpected need for him.

Harrow sighed into Viren’s shoulder, breathing in his stability in his pain, wishing for easier days where Viren and Sarai and Harrow could have all just been friends, sharing jelly tarts and bantering with no worries of food shortages or political errors or dark magic streaked faces.

He held Viren tightly, the way that signified it was a hug he didn’t wish to end any time soon, and Viren complied with this silent request, easily and confidently bringing them both down onto the couch in foresight, secretly glad for the sudden increase in physical touch.

“Oh, Harrow…” Viren’s voice sighed from above him, hands gently and uncertainly holding him, patting his back as tears dripped down Harrow’s face.

It was like some sort of emotional damn had broken, and as if that were the very structural skeleton holding up the king crumpled on his lap.  

His head against his chest, they sat there silently, intimately, for the first time in a long time, and Viren even felt something wet fall from his face. Perhaps both their barriers had fallen, at least somewhat. 

But this was still a foreign thing, for them to be touching so much, and over time as the sobs subsided and the tears dried mostly, Viren felt his breathing change, and felt Harrow’s mirror it.

Lost in longing, so close physically, yet so far. Neither of them quite able to think anymore in the highness of emotions, Viren’s hand had unknowingly stroked Harrow’s face in an attempt at comfort and with his legs against his. Harrow’s breath shifted at the gesture and he suddenly returned the energy two fold his head shifting to meet Viren’s gaze, their noses and lips inches apart.

& It reminds them of when they were boys, playing around, but never quite as far as now, where the distance is finally bridged, Harrow’s mouth reaching for Viren’s in a needy kiss to fill this gap in his heart, and Viren’s responding almost immediately in kind, almost aggressive in its reciprocation as the last of his walls finally crumbled,

and he lost himself- they both did— in that kiss, repeated and reprised and encored to make up for all those almost kisses over the years, their eyes burning into eachothers to make up for those longing glasses always cut short and their fingers grazing eachothers bodies in the same searing pattern their eyes used to sear.

When it was finally over and they had connected in every possible way—in that act that couldn’t quite be called making love with all the grief and longing for the past that filled the air— they were silent in eachother’s arms, missing a past that had never happened, or perhaps, an alternate future where sarai had survived.

but business was still business.

perhaps the reason they had been so passionate with each other, like lightning striking the ground, was they both knew, with some instinctual, unreasonable feeling, that this could not repeat.

The sun would rise, and, distance resumed and redirected, they would take out the rest of their feelings—those unable to be whispered once into eachother’s ears—- onto a terrible beast: a scapegoat who somehow ruined both their lives,

more than they had already done to themselves.

[incurablyromanticsblog]

Don't know how people are gonna feel about this but Loki should've been dealt with the way they dealt with Lucifer (from the Netflix show) I mean while the show straight up dismissed loki's feelings, lucifer netflix really showed us the natural and organic character growth with ups and downs while still maintaining the comic hilarity (WHICH WASNT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE MC). It's love interest and side characters are all original characters dealt as independent characters rather as brownie or plot points.

And the scenes that prompted me to think this?

1. Lucifer asking his Mazikeen to cut off his wings because he's moved past being a pawn in his father's 'Great Plan'. We could've had loki come to this conclusion and tell Mobius (who would've been an actual all out ally who was forced into doin lg what he did) that he no longer wanted any place in a land that hated him. (Once again like Lucifer calling the silver city hell)

2. Lucifer actually being the way he's supposed to be (angel of light, light bringer etc.) We could've had Loki act like the way he Actually Is. Not like how @iamnmbr3 so eloquently put it 'like larry the dumb lookalike'. We could've had Loki being stern yet having that air of sarcasm and wit that he had in his the films. His eloquence, his physical prowess (none of the falling flat on his face stuff, a lot of people talk about how he was trying not to hurt the people in ep 2 but srsly Loki would just immediately disarm them), and most of all his agency and refusal to cower or the pathetic attempts at lying.

3. Costumes. The lucifer netflix team had an extensive costume department that ironically pales in comparison to what disney is capable of but still we see Lucifer have a wide array of clothes and styles. Have Loki take the first chance to change his clothes. If he wants the 50s aesthetic have at it! he can wear the tuxedos and the nice leather. Or maybe change into some nice Viking-inspired leathers and battle armor. Have him as a pirate, or a knight or a cowboy. You're traveling through time good man! you can at least hit some of the cool spots.

4. In depth analysis of lucifer's mental health. the only episode of the Loki tv show I liked (loose term) is the first one cause it's the only one that gave a fraction of what we were promised: an insight into loki. That's it.

5. Lucifer's organic growth. This is self-explanatory. Loki watched one video and was good. Very good five stars. I understand that they only had six episodes but come-on. You could've had the subtle changes through out all the eps and lead to the big finish finally. With each episode focusing on certain aspects of Loki.

5. Lucifer's exploration of self-loathing. This deserves to be a separate point because Istg it was done so well. Basically lucifer messes up and he's faced with the hatred that's been conditioned into him (not unlike Loki) and then he learns what it is and actually tries to love himself. And not by kissing a female variant of himself (ew and also respect the gender fluid persons). He actually saw the good in him by reflecting and his actual good friends helping him.

6. Lucifer actually wanting to be good. Look Idc what shut mike waldron wrote, loki is not selfish when his whole arc has been doing things for asgard, thor, odin, frigga etc. We all know that New York was mind control, I do not know why it's being swept under the rug. But here's the thing, that self loathing I mentioned earlier is a huge part of Loki thinking he's some monster and intent on proving it.

7. Lucifer facing his 'devil-face'. Loki should've come to terms with his Jotun heritage. The TVA could've had a case in Jotunheim concerning the Royal Family and Loki could've seen the entirety of Jotunheim and it's people not just that most-likely war propaganda the Asgardians force-fed him. Maybe have him meet his siblings or better yet his mother. There's a very nice fic on A03 called Asgardian Galdr that deals with this beautifully.

8. Luicfer having a Breakdown and Crying: First off this happens gradually, his problems pile up etc etc. and he faces off his father and gets angry until he finally breaks down. And basically God says, "I'm sorry but i can't fix you," And Lucifer in all his grief and desperation asks, "But you're God,'. I know we talk a lot about Loki being made weak in the Show but that's specifically about him being made weak and helpless to make Sylvie seem like a stronger character (Don't get me started on the Sif and Narcissm scene istfg), But maybe seeing Loki try awkwardly to be good and near the finish of the show we see it blow up in some angsty way? only for some conversation like this to happen and have Loki understand that being good is something that is innate and something he already had the potential for all along. Maybe learn that he's not lawful good but as always the morally grey character we know him as. (Protector of misfits, god of outcasts i.e all the shit Marvel shat on) and rise as the God of Chaos and Stories against the rigid bonds of The TVA and essentially Kang.

9. Lucifer having a nice healthy romantic interest and relationship. Lucifer and Chloe's relationship is more often than not the main point of the show but no matter how much it is focused on it remains health, organic and not a weird allegory for something disgusting. Even if Sylvie weren't a Loki (once again ew) the whole dynamic was toxic. She constantly put him down, and invalidated his feelings (Sounds like Odin huh?) and guess what Loki fell in love with her after one day, one conversation of what love was and Mobius calling her his girlfriend (he also said that it was freakish and i agree). We could've had Sigyn sweet lord. (I'll make another post about this)

10. Lucifer's Sexuality. There is a whole episode in which Loki's paramours are getting murdered and they all vary from men to women to all that comes in between. And there's no shame, no offensive jokes. Have Loki flirt with dudes, i understand ms.karen that this is for children, don't worry the casual sex ;) was offscreen. Have Loki turn into a woman and flirt with woman cowards, maybe make some questionable remarks about horses (That make Sigyn laugh)

11. Lucifer's Powers: lemme sum up, Lucifer can, let's call it, use compulsion on people. He is known for his strength and prowess and abilites to grant favors. Have Loki shapeshift into animals, absolutely mauling people. Have him use his silver-tongue to coax people into making or changing history (Yes Brutus, Caesar is getting to be a bit much, say have you heard how sharp knives are?)

I'm pretty sure there's more that i can't remember rn. And here is one thing i would like to make very clear.

You are not bad for liking the show or hating it whatever. The problem is that the show framed a lot of bad things as good (Anything the TVA did, Mobius' torture session with Loki, the way Sylvie treated Loki only for them to become romantic partners, the Sylkie fiasco as it was offensive to genderfluid people and the bare fucking minimum of LGBTQ and POC rep). The show was also marketed specifically to make us think hey! Loki might actually be the main character only for it to blow up in our faces. We were also promised an actual plot rather than a constantly plot twisting concept that could've been worth something.

Also i'm still working on a Loki fic rn after which i will write a Loki(TV) Rewrite but unitil then ig.