#no hate to you the poison quote was very poignant
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let’s look on the bright side now that season two has ended at least we’re free from hearing “the poison drips through” and “the rot persists” on loop for the next two ish years
#GET A DIFFERENT PHRASE PLEASE#go find a mitski lyric or out of context sylvia plath diary quote or something#tagging this anti team green for filtering purposes#because we all know who’s responsible#sorry#anti team green stans#anti team green#no hate to you the poison quote was very poignant#the first dozen times at least#hotd fandom
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Hi lovely Ali! 💕
May I please hear about 🍄 🍯 and 🍃 from the cottagecore asks? x
Hello lovely Sam! 🥰❤️💛✨
🍄 Mushroom: What is a quote you find comfort in? I’m going to out myself here— I don’t think very much on quotes. I’ll hear something and be like “wow that’s poignant/powerful/what have you” in the moment but I can never seem to recall them? Only the emotion left behind, or that it dredges up if I happen to see/hear it again. I’m a sham 😣
🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself? I like that I can be kind to strangers on the internet and have never once sent anon (or non-anon) hate 😌 if I can’t use the anonymity of this blue hellsite to spread some positivity then why am I even here???
🍃 Leaf: What is a plant you find beautiful? Okay I know they’re super poisonous and invasive but I l o v e wisteria, okay?? It’s just so gd pretty and ethereal I love it so much 😭
Cottagecore emoji asks
#zinzinina fics#it’s not a fic but that’s the tag#ask meme#thank you for asking sweet Sam!!! I loved seeing your responses on the asks you got 🥺🥰#a kith to u through the ether
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Jojo Rabbit (2019)
Who says you can't laugh about the Holocaust? Certainly not Taika Waititi.
The Hunt for the Wilderpeople director’s latest film Jojo Rabbit, set in Nazi Germany with a fanatical Hitler youth at its center, is uproarious, funny, and anything but glib. The story follows 10-year-old Jojo Betzler (played by the effortlessly charismatic and magnetic Roman Griffin Davis), who idolizes Adolf Hitler so much that Hitler (played by Waititi) has become his imaginary friend, popping up like a proverbial devil-on-one’s-shoulder during random moments of turmoil to comfort and counsel our budding young Nazi.
Jojo’s dedication to the cause is unwavering. Thanks to some imaginative Nazi propaganda, Jojo is convinced that his purpose is to exterminate Jews, whom he envisions as winged creatures that eat children and hoard anything shiny. Alas, after playing cavalier with a grenade at Hitler youth camp, Jojo suffers an accident that renders him unfit to keep training with the other children, including his best friend Yorki (played by the adorably precocious Archie Yates). He’s promptly sent home, where his angst grows due to being isolated from his Jew-hating peers. To add insult to injury, he discovers that his mother Rosie (Scarlett Johansson) has been hiding a Jewish girl in their home. Outraged and beside himself with indignation, Jojo hatches a plan to get rid of the Jewish girl, seizing it as an opportunity to prove himself as a true Nazi believer to his peers.
Jojo embarks on quite the character arc, and Waititi once again proves that he is a masterful director when it comes to working with children. His ability to elicit the purest, most delightful performances from child actors is amazing (just as he did in Hunt for the Wilderpeople), and the audience swiftly finds themselves endeared to Jojo and the rest of the cast. Performances from everyone were delightful, with Waititi allowing each actor (such as Johansson, Sam Rockwell, and Rebel Wilson) to bring their signature flairs to their characters. While the film is approached mostly as a period piece from an aesthetic standpoint (with costumes, set design, and color palettes largely faithful to the period), Waititi’s deliberate choices in making it anachronistic serve two purposes: to punctuate the satire, and to help make what should be a very sobering subject matter more approachable.
The story, a loose adaptation of the book Caging Skies by Christine Leunens, while quirky and sweet certainly doesn't shy away from the real horrors of the holocaust. It’s a tightrope walk to juggle humor and atrocity, but Waititi makes it seem natural. He also knows precisely how to tug at heartstrings without being melodramatic. Jojo Rabbit’s triumph is ultimately in its ability to treat the topic of ideological extremism with the ridicule it so often deserves while at the same time provoking interesting questions about why people get sucked into blindly following charismatic demagogues, entrenching themselves in hate-filled cults, and spouting toxic ideologies. The best part? Waititi does this with so much thoughtfulness and nuance, all while serving up an entertaining, poignant story.
By the end of Jojo Rabbit, you’re not raising your pitchforks screaming about the injustice of the Holocaust—that would be rather trite. Instead, you’re reminded that humans are complex, multi-dimensional, and capable of both immense kindness and unbridled terror. It’s a celebration of people’s capacity to change their minds. More importantly, it’s a reminder of the beauty of comedy and how laughter can be the best medicine during turbulent times.
(More—including spoilers—under the cut)
What I love most about Jojo Rabbit is the depth of each character and how there’s so much to dissect and unpack for each one. Beginning with Jojo—we learn that not only is his father far away, in danger, fighting somewhere on the frontlines, but that he also lost his older sister Inge. We’re never told in full detail what happened to her, but the main takeaway is that her death, coupled by the absence of Jojo’s father, were tragedies that may have propelled Jojo to seek out the philosophy of the Third Reich. It’s not uncommon for young fanatics to get swept into hate groups when they are at their lowest points. When you’re angry or feeling helpless and lonely, it’s easy to externalize your pain and find someone to blame, whether it’s an entire gender, people of certain ethnicities, or members of a different political party. It’s simpler, you see, instead of owning one’s problems and acknowledging that the world doesn’t revolve around you. By making boogeymen out of people who are easy targets, we assert control over the senseless things that happen in our lives. It’s a way to feel powerful.
When you’re young, there are so many things that are out of your control. You’re caught in this torrent of everyone else’s decisions—your parents, school, your peers, society at large—and you’re looking around, flailing and hyperaware, that you’re living what is supposed to be your life and yet there seems so very little that you have ownership of. That's Jojo’s story. Not only is he caught in the middle of a war, but he’s grappling with some seriously heavy shit: an absentee father, a dead sister, a craving for acceptance from his peer group and, ultimately, a longing for connection that is rooted in positivity rather that hate.
At first that connection seems to be cultivated by his mother, Rosie, who is literally and figuratively the most vibrant character in the film. From her bold, striking fashion sense and rouged lips to her joie de vivre, Rosie is, to quote Mulan, a flower that blooms in adversity. Even during the bleakest of times, she finds ways to uplift her son, whom she can tell is hurting. Her bursts of energy, her ability to find excitement and enthusiasm even in the most mundane of things, her rally to dance in the face of tragedy—all were reminders that dwelling on hatred and sorrow, while easy and sometimes necessary, is a crutch in a balm’s disguise. We must always forge ahead and seek hope when all feels lost, like “staring a tiger in the eyes”, as Rosie would say. That’s why, despite the risks of being caught by the Gestapo, she housed a Jewish girl in her home. In some small way, she was doing her part in the resistance against a hateful movement. While Rosie says she’s never stared a tiger in the eyes, her act of defiance came at great risk to herself, and that’s true courage.
In one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the film, Jojo is wandering the streets when he notices a bright, blue butterfly fluttering against the backdrop of hate-filled propaganda smattered on the city walls. He chases it wistfully and accidentally stumbles on the gallows in the middle of the town square. All the audience sees, hanging from the gallows, is a pair of legs with bright-colored shoes, and our hearts immediately sink. It’s Rosie. Waititi leads up to this shocking moment during a previous scene, while Jojo and Rosie are hanging out by a river. Rosie makes fun of Jojo for still being unable to tie his own shoes. She’s skipping gleefully on top of a concrete wall, with the camera trained low at Jojo’s eye-level, so the audience sees a shot of her shoes as she taps into a merry little dance. Waititi counts on viewers remembering this quiet scene to make what follows truly devastating. The effect is quite heart-stopping, and it’s impossible to want to reach out and give poor Jojo a hug as he cries out and wraps his arms around his dead mother’s feet. It’s then that Waititi makes his message known: Yes, there’s plenty to make light of in the world, but you can do this while also acknowledging that there’s plenty of darkness. It’s an impressive balancing act, and Waititi does it with so much wonderful exuberance and earnestness that it’s tough not to commend.
Viewers notice that the more Jojo focuses on the positive things in his life—his mother, his new Jewish friend Elsa—the less we see of his imaginary friend Hitler. And this is a deliberate choice by Waititi to prove a point: when you are consumed with hate, you’ll want to constantly keep feeding it because it’s comfortable and easy. As humans, we have a biological negative bias that we rely on as a means of survival. The very idea of entropy exists as a reminder that it takes more work to put things in order, to be good, to rise above, than for things to decay and distort and devolve. The more you fill your life with things that bring you joy, fulfillment, and contentment, the less you’ll rely on poisonous literature and toxic people. While this isn't exactly an epiphany for most of us, one may applaud Waititi for the inventive way he delivers this message.
Another delightful character who, on the surface, seemed to be solely there for comedic effect, was Sam Rockwell’s Captain Klenzendorf, who’s tasked with whipping up these little rascals into Nazi-fighting shape. From the very get go, we sense that this man’s commitment to the Nazi cause is entirely for appearances’ sake. From his clandestine romance with his right-hand man (played by Games of Thrones’ Alfie Allen) to his soft spot for Jojo, the audience is led to believe that this man is merely pretending to be a hard-ass because that’s what you were expected to do, else be accused of treason to your nation. One could assume his affection for Jojo had something to do with being able to sympathize with the young boy after Jojo is relegated to doing simple jobs due to his injury (Klenzendorf claims he was benched from the frontlines because of an injury that led to him having a dead eye). But it’s toward the end of the film where we fully realize the totality of his character. In an earlier scene, Jojo is bullied by some older boys into killing a rabbit. They jeer at him as he wrestles with the decision to kill an innocent animal. He’s torn between wanting desperately to ingratiate himself into his peer group and staying true to the part of himself that’s kind, pure, innocent, and staunchly against needless violence. The music builds as we lean forward in our seats waiting to see what Jojo does. He decides on an act of mercy at his own expense, releasing the bunny and yelling at it to flee from danger. Unfortunately, before it has a chance to escape, the bunny is snatched up by one of the older boys, who wrings its neck in front of all the young boys to see.
At first this seems like a scene that’s simply supposed to be an obnoxious display of bravado. But Waititi calls back to this scene towards the end of the film twice. Klenzendorf arrives at the Betzler household when it is being searched and ransacked by the Gestapo, who suspect Rosie has been aiding Jews. Jojo is terrified, not just to be discovered as traitors by the Gestapo but for Elsa’s (the Jewish girl they have been hiding who has now become his friend) safety. To get ahead of the situation, Elsa emerges from her hiding place and pretends to be Jojo’s dead sister Inge. When the Gestapo demand her paperwork, she shows them Inge’s old ID card. Klenzendorf immediately intercedes, grabs the ID from her hand and demands that she variate her identity by stating her birthday. Elsa stammers in response. “Correct,” Klenzendorf confirms flatly. The Gestapo consider this acceptable and vacate the premises, none the wiser. We discover immediately that Elsa had actually given the wrong birthdate, and Klenzendorf could have outed her right then, but decided not to. He was helping the bunny escape.
In another scene, when the Allied troops march into Germany and start rounding up all the Nazi soldiers, Jojo (who has a Nazi officer’s jacket on) is mistaken for one of them. He runs into Captain Klenzendorf, who creates a commotion by wrenching the Nazi jacket off of Jojo’s back and pushing him away, telling him to flee while yelling at him for being a dirty Jew so the Allies don’t execute him. It was an act of sacrifice from a man who recognized himself in the young boy. Klenzendorf saw Jojo’s gentleness and purity of heart and knew this kid needed to live. He released the bunny, stared a tiger squarely in the eyes��at the expense of his own life.
Jojo Rabbit, while certainly laugh-out-loud funny and full of amusement, is a moving story about heroism from a group of people who rarely ever get acknowledgment for their acts of bravery. These were Germans who defied their Führer and their Aryan brotherhood at great risk to their own lives. While these acts will never erase the horrors of the Holocaust, it’s a reminder that people are complicated creatures, capable of miraculous acts of mercy and horrific deeds of violence. It implores us to think about how some of the people that get caught up in hate groups are hurting deeply and just looking for something to blame their pain on. It definitely doesn’t excuse their actions or the bile they oftentimes spew, but it merely reminds us that behind every caricature is a human being in pain.
Even if you see Jojo Rabbit and don’t think it’s that deep—you may say “Starr, it’s just a comedy about stupid Nazis, it’s not even a true story”. What is true about it is that we live in a world of grey, and while it may be simpler to put people in buckets of black and white, hero and villain, good and bad, more often than not we are all just hurting in some way. What’s true about it is that we have more in common than we have differences and ultimately, everyone regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation, craves the same thing: freedom; Freedom from the burdens that we carry on our shoulders, from dead loved ones to strife and war. Freedom from the fear of persecution for being who we are. The freedom to wear whatever we want, screw whomever we want, and to dance like no one’s looking.
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Have You Read This? The Election of 2020
Like many of us, I watched Hamilton on July 4th, 2020 – our nation’s birthday. I met the day with mixed emotions as the spirit and character of our nation as of late did not seem appropriate to celebrate.
As I watched the story about many of the nation’s founding fathers and first leaders unfold, I was struck by the parts of their personal trials and tribulations that went beyond their contribution to the nation. Hamilton was the first politician to be involved in a sex scandal; Layfette – an immigrant, unafraid to step in and become America’s favorite fighting Frenchmen; Washington – a slave owner willing to admit “it probable that I may have committed many errors;” Jefferson – gained wealth profiting from the work of slaves, one of which he fathered six children with after making her his mistress. Burr – the untried murderer of Alexander Hamilton, whom he killed while still holding office as the third Vice President of the United States. In short, a hot mess of moral contradictions. I have been listening to the Hamilton soundtrack ever since my first viewing on July 4th, and realized a number of lines in various songs could be strung together to reflect my perception (key word: my) of the current political climate. Over the last week or so, I finally sat down to string all of those poignant lines together (with a few liberties for relevant context), a lyrical short story I have dubbed, The Election of 2020 (seen further down, further down). The beauty of democracy that is reborn during election seasons is our ability to get a fresh start, gain new perspectives, correct past wrongs, and continually better this land of the free for generations to come. I saw a quote recently that described voting as not so much like trying to find the perfect partner for marriage, but rather like using a bus for public transport. Voting is a map of bus routes that you must choose from in order to get from point A to point B. There may not be one specific bus that is going to your exact destination, but that doesn’t mean you stay at home and give up on travel entirely. Voting is not about waiting for “the one” candidate who is absolutely perfect. Instead, you choose to get on the bus that gets you closest to where you want to be. I know and love many republicans and democrats that have used the privilege of voting to get us all closer to where we want the nation to be. To me, where we are right now does not seem to fit under either traditional party umbrella – no, it’s much more like an umbrella that has been turned inside out and torn apart by a calculated hurricane of divisive and selfish endeavors. Perhaps more than ever before, this is the time to reassess our voting bus routes that will get us from point A to point B. Are we moving from indifference to tolerance? Hate to love? Despair to hope? Chaos to consistency? Negligence to protection? Moreover, before you get on your bus of choice, remember the route is designed to get the whole of our nation where we want it to be. Not just for me and not just for you. For all of US – as in, all of the United States. We will never all agree, I know this, but in spite of these disagreements, I am reminded of the hope that comes from the story of Hamilton. Even 244 years into this nation’s story, despite many dramatic peaks and valleys, the journey to our shared, happily ever after epilogue lives on. It lives on in me, in you, and in every vote cast to get us where we want to be. Regardless of how your vote is cast, the courage to reexamine your route and get on that bus… well, that would be enough.
The Election of 2020
“America, you great unfinished symphony A place where even orphan immigrants Can leave their fingerprints and rise up We’re running out of time Eyes up Time's up Wise up He's not the choice I would have gone with History will prove him wrong Winning was easy for him Governing's harder Welcome, folks, to a dysfunctional administration! He stands only for himself It's what he does I can't apologize because it's true Have it all, lose it all The President is gonna bring the nation to the brink He’s the villain in our history Frankly, it's a little disquieting that so many are blind to this reality He doesn’t have an ounce of regret He accumulates debt, he accumulates power Yet in our hour of need, he forgets Ardently abuses his post It's hard to listen to him with a straight face Watching the tension grow He cannot be left alone to his devices Indecisive, from crisis to crisis Stay alive 'til this horror show is past We're gonna fly a lot of flags half-mast Chaos and bloodshed already haunt us How many died because he was inexperienced and ruinous? We're too fragile to start another fight Where do we draw the line? Someone oughta remind him We're running a real nation Him and his words, obsessed with his own legacy His sentences border on senseless And he is paranoid in every paragraph How they perceive him Let future historians wonder How he tore so much apart And watched it all burn I wish I could say what was happening in his brain He's not very forthcoming on any particular stances Ask him a question: he glances off, he obfuscates, he dances I will not equivocate on my opinion I didn't say anything that wasn't true His father's a scoundrel, and so, it seems, is this dude He is uniquely situated by virtue of his position Though 'virtue' is not a word I’d apply to this situation He seeks financial gain, straying from his sacred mission And the evidence suggests he’s engaged in speculation Why does he assume he’s the smartest in the room? Soon that attitude will be his doom He knows nothing of loyalty Smells like new money, dresses like fake royalty Desperate to rise above his station Everything he does betrays the ideals of our nation See how he lies Look at his eyes Follow the scent of his enterprise If we don't stop him, we aid and abet it Watching him grabbin' at power and kissin' it Somebody has to stand up to his mouth What do we stall for? If we stand for nothing, what'll we fall for?
Be careful with that one He will do what it takes to survive No one knows who he is or what he does His pride will be the death of us all God, we hope he’s satisfied This man has poisoned our political pursuits Destroyed our reputation I can almost see the headline, his “career” is done Ya best go run back where ya come from! This dude is out! You ever see somebody ruin their own life? History obliterates In every picture it paints It paints him and all of his mistakes It's him against us, the world will never be the same He better get ready for the moment of adrenaline Try not to crack under the stress When he finally faces his opponent They’ve fought on like seventy-five different fronts He smacks others in the press and doesn’t print retractions We're breaking down like fractions But when all is said and all is done I have beliefs, he has none Gotta get us out of the mess he’s got us in There’s a reason no one trusts him No one knows what he believes I get no satisfaction witnessing his fits of passion The way he primps and preens and dresses like the pits of fashion Our poorest citizens, our farmers, live ration to ration As Wall Street robs 'em blind in search of chips to cash in He’s askin' for someone to bring him to task While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket But the sun comes up And the world still spins I hear wailing in the streets There is suffering too terrible to name This is not a moment, it's a movement Are we a nation of states? What's the state of our nation? The issue on the table: We are engaged in a battle for our nation's very soul I’m past patiently waitin'. Let’s passionately smash every expectation For the first time, I’m thinkin' past tomorrow. We're gonna rise up - time to take a shot This nation better rise up Raise a glass to freedom Something they can never take away No matter what he tells us Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now But we'll never be truly free Until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me Seek out injustice in the world and correct it Life doesn't discriminate Between the sinners And the saints It takes and it takes and it takes And we keep living anyway We laugh and we cry And we break But can l be real for a second? For just a millisecond? We gotta make an all-out stand Get him out of power So he holds no office We are a powder keg about to explode We gotta stop 'em and rob 'em of his advantages Let's take a stand with the stamina God has granted us We pick and choose our battles and places to take a stand We will fight for this land Summon all the courage that’s required Be a part of the narrative The story they will write someday How we emerged victorious Leaving the battlefield waving Betsy Ross' flag higher No one has more resilience Let’s move under cover and move as one We have one shot to live another day Don’t throw away this shot We will fight up close, seize the moment and stay in it And so the American experiment begins again We bleed and fight for the next generation We'll make it right for them If we lay a strong enough foundation We'll pass it on to them, we'll give the world to them For a strong central democracy We may never all agree, but There's only one man and woman Who can give us a command so we can rise up Throwing verbal rocks at his mediocrities What do you stall for? What was it all for? We studied and we fought For the notion of a nation we now get to rebuild Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness We fought for these ideals; we shouldn't settle for less I don't pretend to know All the challenges we’re facing But this once, take a stand with pride This is not the time to stand to the side Stand with us in the land of the free To get the people that we need to lead We need the votes We need bold strokes When there’s skin in the game, stay in the game We don't get a win unless we play in the game We may get love for it We may get hate for it We get nothing if we wait for it I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me I dream of a brand new start I want real leaders that can save the day We won't be invisible We won't be denied If we get this right The nation can start to move on It outlives us when we’re gone We are the one thing in life we can control We are inimitable, true originals We can’t stand still Or lie in wait We don't wanna fight, but We won't apologize for doing what's right Together we can turn the tide If we manage to get this right They'll surrender by early light We have no control Who lives, who dies, who tells our story But I know that we can win I know that greatness lies within us But remember from here on in History has its eyes on me and History has its eyes on you”
(All Lyric Credits: Hamilton: An America Musical. Performances by Lin-Manuel Miranda, Daveed Diggs, Renée Elise Goldsberry, Jonathan Groff, Christopher Jackson, Jasmine Cephas Jones, Leslie Odom Jr., Okieriete Onaodowan, Anthony Ramos Phillipa Soo, and Original Cast Company. Atlantic Records, 2015.)
#Hamilton#An American Musical#Hamilton: An American Musical#Lin-Manuel Miranda#Daveed Diggs#Renee Elise Goldsberry#Jonathan Groff#Christopher Jackson#Jasmine Cephas Jones#Leslie Odom Jr.#Anthony Ramos#Phillipa Soo#Okieriete Onaodowan#Hamilton Original Cast#Atlantic Records#Broadway#HamiltonBroadway#Election#Electionof2020#Vote#Vote2020#Alexander Hamilton#Aaron Burr#George Washington#James Madison#Lafeyette#Thomas Jefferson#Hercules Mulligan#John Laurens#TheSchuylerSisters
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WAIT AHHHH IT CAN'T END THERE ??? ok so obvi i am now caught up and STRESSED 😂😂 you weren't lying! this is a heavy one that pulls at every heartstring i have. but anyways i can't be mad because i looove what you're doing with it. just from a writing perspective, i like that you are finding fresh ways to give us the scenes we've already covered in the show--fleshing them out or altering them slightly so we're always on our toes. i feel like there's too many moments i love to point them all out
but i also love the juxtaposition of moments and scenes; the way you chose to play some out, and others you deliver like gut-punches: quick and effective. (i'm thinking PARTICULARLY of the post-Speck moments particularly. would killll for a bonus vignette of THAT, but i digress.) i also thought it was very clever giving us the scene between Bill & his mother's grave, because it's makes it hard for me to totally hate him after what he did to Holden. which, by the way, SOUL CRUSHING.
anyways, part of me is hoping Bill cockblocks Holden and this Elliot guy, and the other part of me hoping that Holden gets to blow off some steam and Bill has to hear them next door for being a total dick. (i PROMISE i have empathy for him but that's my baby and i'm secondhand mad lmao!) ps. "red phosphorus staining an otherwise black sky" is a beautiful line and image. i can't wait to see what happens next!!
oh ok WAIT last one i swear 😂 but i also wanted to mention that i thought that it was a really interesting touch at the beginning of Bill's graveside scene in the latest chapter, how he contemplates his loss of faith in God. because i think ultimately it illustrates really well Holden's point of him adopting a state of victimhood--it's not his own repression and denial and fear that led to he and Holden's breakup. it's divine predestination... oh, Bill 😪
So yeah - things have definitely changed since you last got caught up 😂 Bill continues to cling to his pride and denial while Holden is just a sweet, fragile baby in the wake of Kemper/Vacaville. I’m sorry, everyone; I really do love him, but it does seem like I put him through the wringer more often than not lol Maybe as fanfic writer that’s a sign of just how much I love him 🤷♀️
I try my best not to repetitious, especially when I’m staying loyal to the general plot of the show so I’m happy that it still seems fresh and exciting! In regards to the post-Speck moment, I have to laugh because you’re the second person who has mentioned that line in particular and I literally thought of taking it out like 3 times while I was editing the chapter. I wasn’t sure if it fit with Bill’s emotions/feelings towards Holden in this fic, but I ended up leaving it because I just COULD NOT pass it up!
Also, thank you for mentioning the graveside scene because it’s actually one of my favorite moments in this whole story. Like you said, it very simply reveals what’s going on inside his mind and his own tactics that he uses to explain his actions to himself. I’ve never written much about Bill’s mother even though the single line we get from the show makes me think that he loved her very much as opposed to the “I know my old man was never around” that we get about his father. Relationships are never simple of course, but I think that there’s something very specific and poignant about a woman who has escaped an abusive relationship and her relationship with her son. Layer in the abuse Bill later experienced by someone else’s hand, and you have two very damaged people trying to depend on and love each other. It was really critical for me at this point to make the readers go into his POV and see that the anger and denial he’s going through isn’t necessarily malicious, but a leftover, knee-jerk reaction from his childhood that he’s yet to unlearn. He’s clinging to his denial with all his might, looking to God or anyone to blame for his heartbreak except himself. It’s really easy for someone who grew up with a religious parent to start blaming God for their problems, I think, and probably even easier for someone who has gone through abuse at a young age - that wasn’t their fault, so neither is the corresponding, lifelong ripple of consequences. It’s gonna take him a minute to get over that especially considering he’s never sought help for what he went through, just kept it bottle inside until it’s poisoned every possibility of happiness in his life. This is where my obsession with the “redemptive power of love trope” comes in, specifically this quote by psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry: “ The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.”
As far as Elliot - as much as I love/ have empathy for Bill, I thought it was time for him to learn a little lesson lol And it’s time for Holden to have more confidence and agency over what he wants/needs. Maybe he won’t find exactly what he’s looking for, but I do think he’ll find a way to scrape the broken pieces of himself back together again the way that he always does. This entire relationship has changed him so the next time he and Bill talk privately, they might be on more equal footing 👀
I literally cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the rest once this fic is posted in it’s entirety! You always have such great insights that I sometimes don’t even realize I’m putting into my writing until you point them out. Thank you so much. Much love 💕
#gosh this got long#not to tooth my horn but i could talk about this story all day#bill x holden#my writing#lowkeystandom
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Nightshade by Molly McAdams
Series: A Redemption Novel Genre: Romantic Suspense
She is chaos. She is poison. And she is the one thing I crave.
The heart-stopping final installment in New York Times bestselling author Molly McAdams’s Redemption series.
My life has never been my own. From the time I could walk, I was trained to be the mob’s hardened assassin. To be a monster. I’ve been told what to do, when to kill, and who to love. The minute I strayed, I lost everything.
Then I met Jessica.
She swept into my life like a storm of heartache, seduction, and intrigue. She’s everything I hate, but with one look, I can’t stay away. With one touch, she ignites a craving unlike anything I’ve ever known.
But her secrets threaten to destroy everything closest to me. Including her…
Together we’re poison. A destructive combination of darkness and chaos. And I want to savor every drop in my veins.
***The Redemption series is a series of romantic suspense standalones***
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon CA
iBooks | B&N | Kobo
Signed Paperback
“THE GIRL WAS POISON. MY PERSONAL NIGHTSHADE.”
Another powerful and well-written story by Molly McAdams who seems to revel in her role as a pen-wielding sadist by unleashing such painfully poignant books.
The Redemption series books really do build with a slow burn. The story, whilst intriguing, appears to simmer until it literally explodes in front of your eyes. At times, I questioned whether the story was building too slowly to maintain my interest but then I remembered that the same thing had happened in Books 1 & 2 and their conclusions made the waiting all the more worthwhile. This is exactly what happened with Nightshade. The story meanders in a way which creates more questions than answers and whilst it appears confusing at times, all of your answers and more are explained in perfect detail by the end of the book.
This story was perhaps even more painful than its predecessors and even made me cry! I loved Kieran’s character before, and the way he was portrayed as a cold and callous killer, but we get to see an altogether different side of him in Nightshade as he meets a girl who tames his inner darkness.
He looked like a lethal contradiction. So calm. So savagely animalistic. Eyes wild. Yet lifeless. He was terrifying. And he was beautiful.
Jessica has her own fair share of demons but it is clear from the outset that she has unrivalled determination when it comes to protecting her loved ones. From her first interaction with Kieran/Nightshade, Jessica sees that they are both trying to contain their demons, but for very different reasons. Jessica is trying to keep drug dealers at bay to protect her mother and Kieran is part of the syndicate responsible for providing her with the drugs. With Jessica’s only option to meet the spiralling debts from her mother’s addiction by selling her body, she finds herself not only on Beck’s radar but also Kieran’s. What you don’t realise until later into the book is the level of debt that Jessica is in and to whom. With men threatening her from all directions, it’s no surprise that Jessica is a little crazy and untrusting.
Happiness wasn’t meant for girls like me.
I loved the relationship that forms between Jessica and Kieran. With neither able to trust the other but their bodies ruling their minds, they seek solace in each other’s arms but is Kieran ready to move on after Lily and can Jessica escape the men determined to break her?
This is definitely a book to savour and to read at leisure. Please don’t try to squeeze it in between other books or read it in snippets. In order to experience the full effect of this story, it is worth taking the time to allow the book to consume and break you before putting you back together.
This ebook was kindly provided by the author, publisher and Netgalley prior to release date in return for an honest and unbiased review.
We are proud to provide honest and unbiased reviews written from the heart.
The muscles in Kieran’s jaw ticked, and the anger rolling off his body suddenly felt like a living thing. But his stare never wavered from mine as I soundlessly opened the knife at my side. “Or did I hit a little too close for comfort last night?” I asked, my voice both seductive and mocking as I took another step closer to him and then another. “Could you just not satisfy her?” “Enough.” My brows rose at the growl behind his demand. “Is that right?” His eyes held so much warning as I took the last step to press my body against his. My body trembled and begged to get closer still, but I forced myself not to move. I hated him for the way he felt. I hated him for the way my body craved more and betrayed me. I hated him for everything he was and for making me want him in a way I’d never wanted a man. I hated him. “Who knew the mob’s feared assassin was lacking.” One second I was in front of him, staring into those wild eyes, the next I was pressed face-first to the wall with Kieran’s hard body caging me against it. His strong hands were pinning mine to the wall. My knife was gone. His chest moved roughly against my back, his breath made my hair dance along my cheek and lips, and I ached to push against where I could feel his hardened length in his jeans.
Oh God.
What is wrong with me?
I tried to force a wild laugh from my lungs. I tried to taunt him. But there was nothing. “How long?” he demanded, his voice hoarse. I curled my hands against the wall and shivered beneath him when his body moved closer and he pressed our hands harder to the wall. “What?” I asked breathlessly. “How long have you been watching us?” “Wouldn’t you like to know?” A huff tumbled from my lips when his mouth met my ear. The sound ended on a whimper when the movement forced my butt against his erection. I needed the heavy, sickening feeling weighing my body down. I needed the disgust and hatred at having a man so close. I needed the reminder of who I was and
why
I did what I did. But all I could smell was the subtle hint of his soap. All I could see was his tattooed arms twisting over mine. All I could feel was his lean muscles crowding around me in a way that felt so foreign and good. And I wanted more . . .
Weak. So weak.
“How long?” My body tensed. If he had yelled the question, it might have been easier. But there was something truly terrifying in the soft tenor of his voice. And for the first time, I was afraid to be in the same room as him. But I wasn’t scared for my life. I was scared for my soul. I slowly looked over my shoulder and forced myself to hold his disturbing stare. “Nearly half my life.”
A powerhouse romantic suspense that will have you questioning your morals and second guessing your view on love.
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A captivating romantic suspense that will keep you breathless until the last sentence.
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon CA
iBooks | B&N | Kobo
iBooks UK | Kobo UK
Signed Paperback
Molly grew up in California but now lives in the oh-so-amazing state of Texas with her husband, daughter, and fur babies. When she’s not diving into the world of her characters, some of her hobbies include hiking, snowboarding, traveling, and long walks on the beach … which roughly translates to being a homebody with her hubby and dishing out movie quotes. She has a weakness for crude-humored movies and fried pickles, and loves curling up in a fluffy comforter during a thunderstorm … or under one in a bathtub if there are tornados. That way she can pretend they aren’t really happening.
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