#no hate to the chewie (? thats what theyre also called right)

[salutethesargeant]

I just realized Chewis is slowly gonna turn (has already turnt) from meaning 4411/1144 into meaning 4416/1644...

Damn, how the night changes.

[tumblunni]

Man today was A Chore. I got some good stuff done in the end but the middle of it felt awful and im just relieved it ended on a better note i guess? I had to spend like three hours sitting waiting for a package listening to some horrid old ladies talk about how child abuse is great and all the flaws of modern life stem from the fact we dont smack kids anymore. And like..fuckin.. "Ha ha remember how we used to fail all our classes and lie and hide our grades because we were scared of our parents and do anything to try and make the beatings hurt less BUT NOW IM AN ADULT I KNOW MY PARENTS WERE TOTALLY RIGHT YES" And friggin discussing all these beatings and LAUGHIng?? Laughing about being beaten and about going on to beat their own kids like ha ha this is so fuckin normal and just the logical conclusion of everything?? Like these were GOOD MEMORIES?? Fuck man i was like that gif of the dude with the giant vein in his head it was SO HARD to just sit there and try not to hear what they were saying. I actually ended up buying like 20 scratchcards just cos i was running on autopilot and trying anything to distract myself. (Only wasted 10 pound tho cos i won a few quid along the way and lost it again lol)

And gahhhhh after all that waiting i just get told my package didnt arrive today and i just have to come back tomorrow! So i went home super depressed and had to try and talk myself out of it and yeah. AND THEN i get a phonecall from the post office literally right then, saying 'yo whoops the parcel arrived a lil late, come get it before we close'. It was kinda funny, like me conquering myanxiety self hateness actually summoned a good luck better resolution to the story?? And i rushed down there and managed to get the parcel and all the post office people were REALLY NICE,like they'd gone kinda mom friend on me from seeing me come in and out asking for this parcel for the whole entire day. I dont know either of their names but thank you nice red hair lady in charge of the parcels and scratchcard corner grandma who chatted with me! If i see them again another day i have to go into the post office, i'll be sure to say thanks!

So yeah anyway i FINALLY have everything sorted now to do my Lets Play of the new pokemon game! I probably wont be able to start it til saturday evening or sunday morning though? Cos tomorrow i have the Big Stress of meeting again with my estranged sister and hoping i can maybe repair our bond. I dunno how long we're gonna hang out or even what we're gonna do or if its gonna go well, aaaa!! And then on saturday i need to wake up super early and catch a million buses to get to a cool art class place. Maan its been a busy week lol!

Oh!! And the stuff of actual success today!! Cos yeah some stuff did go well before the big post office trashness, and i need to focus on that instead of the awkward middle. Big good thing the number 1! I met with my support worker and had a really nice meeting in the new cafe in the local library. She was just super nice and gave me a great motivational talk about how i was handling this whole sister thing really well and she was proud of me. She said she got my voicemail i left for her during the whole thing and she was really sorry she was late replying to it and she was really worried how it all went. I totally forgot i even sent her that voicemail during all the mess! So i just got caught up in the panic and forgot to call her back, aaa!! Im glad she knows im okay now! And we had a nice hot chocolate and she said she's also proud of the progress i've made in going out and being social more often, pointing out how when she first met me i was too nervous to go to this cafe and now we're havong a nice day here. And i was like "but thats not a very big accomplishment" and she was like "ITS BIG ENOUGH, BUNNI!!!" Dammnit what did i do to deserve these kind people? *sniff*

Oh, and then she also helped me learn how to post an international package and IT IS FINALLY DONE!! Summon-daze, keep an eye out for parcel number 1, containing 25% of all the books i have for you!! They said it should reach you between 5 to 14 days. Sorry its so long, it seems the christmas rush starts a whole damn month early! *sigh* And i feel proud of myself for pulling it off, it was so stressy and embarassing aaaa. Just the soul pain of asking so many questions of the post office lady and holding up the line and having to go back and forth and be like 'is the parcel ok now? No?' *awkwardly crabwalks back again* But now i know! And i can definateky handle it all better next time! And aaaaa i just really hope it all goes well and i hope she likes the books and i hope i can afford to send the rest soon!

And then also i was brave enough to go to the other cafe too! I had to kill a lot of time so i had a second hot chocolate at the other place lol. That one is more busy and standard restauranty instead of a small library place, so its a little more imposing. And i actually had a small sandwich too! Somehow eating things in public is one degree more scary than drinking a drink? Dont ask me to explain my anxiety lol, even i dont know! XD it was weird eating a sandwich with a knife and fork tho?? Like the lady just gave me a knife and fork and i felt too polite to say 'umm actually i ordered a sandwich so here have them back'. It was a toasted cheese so the bread was all warm and chewy and really hard to cut! Really really nice though, it helped heal my soul from all the stress. Oh and i tried an american root beer for the first time! Its so cool and weird! Like a slightly bitter/salty sweetness combo? And how it foams up like beer even though its a soda??? Thats so WEIRD AND NEATO!!! Oh and umm maybe i should give myself some points for making conversation with the post office people too? I was so awkward and anxietyish so i feel proud that i managed to articulate myself well enough to actually ask for my parcel, and then they were just so nice and tried to chat with me and i...vaguely managed to chat back, lol.

Oh oh oh! And also i bought a shoes! I shall officially dub them The Murder Shoes~! It was a really good deal in a clearance thing at the supermarket, for shoes that actually looked pretty awesome! These big neat boots covered in WAY TOO MANY metal studs and belts and awesomeness! Theyre like goth cowboy aesthetic?? I love them, i dont have too many professional shoes and these are that but also funky cool!

So yeah several good things happened but the bad bit in the middle was just so long and frustrating that it left me in a big downer mood where it was easy to forget the good stuff. Writing it out like this kinda helps! And also to remember i have stuff to look forward to for the rest of the week! And, well, more challenges to face, but i feel more optimistic now!

[glopratchet]

labs-mirro

found human flesh in the ruins of a burnt house, added it to my diet hahahaha added a human taste to bear meat and chewy snail shells ive earned muh name too now they call me 'Sumner the cannibal' visit that forest at night without jake and crew? NOPE! but ive been avoiding those tempting near by farms and sniping any strays i see sadly its not the same sport as hunting with treachery too easy boredom has set in as ive wiped out the majority of the gators, started wiping out small villages searching for new plague bearing rats but sickened by how weak and soft this land is now, not worth conquerin or even robbin Instead ive been wasting days locked in my house trying and failing to think up "AART nostalgia tour favorites" currently locked in my "meditation room" getting invasion plans from every direction, this village is weak as anything and theres dozens of fat sheep full of bone marrow and blood me on solid ground ahead of a potential alligator attack THEY wont be expecting a thing??!' ^ good news! seems like old charlie has found his purpose again, attacking while theyre eating will obliterate half before they can even react oooooOOOOOoooooo Just jumped to close to the boy and he caught me!!!!!!! my custom ballcutter caught on his armor and now hes furiously shredding it off scraping it along my own underside as--- GAAAH! too late ive been sliced across the eyes NOW what am I gonna do --oops he just slid off trembling waiting to regenerate He was delicious but I was starving back after a regenerative meal, war's been on my mind a lot lately seems everytime mama stomps off in one of her moods now me and pops end up running raids, setting villages alight and raiding conquests for a time gotta say I love being on the attack, bringing fear to other humans never bores me and neither does killing I've certainly had my taste during this long winter guess I've been developing a taste for blood in general too humans are tasty after all no rest for the wicked Where was I? oooh yes Here I am consumed with vile bloodlust and the energy it gives but a quick jot of prose rest the mind and brring clarity Let me tell you all about my dear friend charlie, in fact he was the first one among my recent friends ive not killed or eaten The man gave himself the name "charley horse" Finally managed to settle into a good rhythm with these deranged people and I get the sneaking suspicion charley horse was involved in getting humans to raid my homeland! really rubs me the wrong way Why has he not been killed yet?? hes never done anithing right! Ahem sorry one moment regenerating like nobodies business OOoooooh that feels better!! where were we? oh yes charley horse Pretty sure he's been sabotaging my every effort to fit in with the rest of the humans, those raiders were bad enough but to think he's been actively getting them to target home makes my scales itch I assume hes been organizing these raids from the south up near new aggressor territory so thats where Ive headed Finally caught up to him, and ambushed his band of ambitious little opportunists only to watch him escape Those humans were all loaded down with fur and hide armor so Im guessing charley has been organizing things with the bears as wel guess I'll have to get rid of him This act of kindness is gonna hurt him more than a little bat to the head since Ive had enough of his traitorous actions surprise surprise the raiders are organizing up there and have been recruiting humans from all the way down south, (even near the ruins of DC) those wackos seem to pop up everywhere don't they? Oh and charley horse is organizing things with them !!!! The little turncoat definitely has to die Ive had just about enough of his act I'm gonna need to get in deep and hasta muerte* That was interesting, ive been trying to get in good with the bear brutas for weeks now and I finally managed it by getting captured by a bunch of destroyer robots and had my mind probed and my body royally mangled! I hate robots! But in the end I got accepted like I wanted :) the bear brutas are pretty good folks once you get past their gruff exterior theyre kinda just like us scaly folk even if their primarily carniverous shhh! im supposed to be hiding by pretending to be one of them :) One of the girls just came around, ooooooh shes cute!! Gotta remember to keep an eye on charley horse *Hasta muerte means "until death" in spanish Comment too long Click here to view the full text Seeing alot of robots lately, makes me miss the old world and the old ways before all this new technology showed up, I almost long for the unified church inquisitors to hammer on my door again tough not nearly as tough as the old coalition or Enclave hunts Ive actually managed to become friends with a guy named Zero and his gang of repurposed robot killclowns, funny bunch of guys that love to joke around but they mean business when it counts Done a couple of jobs with them actually, never followed carly's rule of just sticking to one weapon and ive found its been quite helpful having access to an entire armory! I think in this crazy new world theres nothing better than a huge pile of weapons to pick from Keep coming across these fur clothes wearing tribals too, they actually seem to revere charley horse as some sort of deity or greatest warrior or something Theres more to him than meets the eye, good thing ive been getting on his good side :) The wish i could find out more about him but he just vanishes for days at a time some odd instinct tells me its best not to ask questions Its funny how im not the only one keeping a watch out for him its like all of us scaly types have this mutual understanding, hes the man but none of us want him to get too big for his boots, also because we all have our own agendas and jobs to do Just like old times back in the coalition! And now ive finally made my move just like old times! I cant even believe ive pulled it off either, took a while to set up and almost got caught a couple times but it all payed off! Was actually stupidly easy if i do say so myself!