#no hate to anyone that has a long coffee order just hate to Dazai

[wistfullywaiting2]

Honestly I thought people would care slightly more about the fact that we apparently get to know Dazai’s canon coffee order. He is so complicated for what 😭

“Chilled coffee with lots of milk and no ice, preferably decaf, and double the usual amount of sugar.” Ok fucking essay of a coffee order right here. Coffee order of independence head ass

[aoizaraka]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷LOVESTRUCKੈ✩‧₊˚

sypnosis; the bsd men are just so inlove w/ u! but what are their habits that they gained and/or stopped when they began dating you??

pairings; dazai, kunikida, chuuya, fyodor, ango/reader

warnings; mentions of suicide in dazai’s part(it’s literally Dazai =/)

oh.. this menace.. (but everyone loves him so yuh). Being with DAZAI has a lot of ups and downs, especially since he’s trying to get you to commit suicide with him. But ever since you two started dating, he started spending less time trying to die and not doing anything productive, and always coming up with excuses just to be in your presence. Especially if you’re tired from working too much. He knows it’s bad to get close with someone because all the people he card about in his life either disappeared or just left him. That’s what KINDA makes his clingy personality. (Keyword: kinda, his other clingyness is just there bc he is generally clingy for no reason at all.) this man’s love u so much he will do anything you ask! You tell him to do his paperwork?? he’s immediately sitting down on his chair working like a normal person. (Kinda, bc if u say u’ll reward him with a kiss, he’ll do his work immediately!!) if you tell him to stop drinking?? OKAY ANYTHING FOR YOU!!<3

KUNIKIDA knows you aren’t really his ideal type in a woman, but can’t help but be drawn to you. Once you two began a relationship, Kunikida tends to neglect his notebook just to look out for you/take care for you. If you point it out, he’ll just brush it off. He’s also really protective of you, even if it’s a little thing. Like when he makes you tea/coffee or any warm drink you like, he always tell you to be careful when touching it in order not to burn your hands or tongue, and always scolds you when you do the opposite. I also have this lil headcanon; whenever you both go to work, he’ll always check the weather forecast before leaving and brings an umbrella when it’s too hot/rains. It doesn’t matter if he gets wet, his priority is you not getting sick!

CHUUYA is a stubborn, hotheaded guy. He never listens to anyone(unless it’s you or his boss.) Before you guys started dating, he was always in a pissy mood, probably because of his work or his subordinates. But when you two started a relationship, his chihuahua mood somewhat disappeared. Yes yes, he knows. He always had a soft spot for you. But he didn’t know it would go this far as to change his personality! (Well as long as no one insults him or you, then yeah he won’t go back to the chihuahua phase.) hell, even the port mafia noticed his sudden personality change. he’s always gentle with you, especially since he knows he’s the strongest ability user.

FYODOR doesn’t really like overworking. But he has to do it for “the sake of the world” apparently. So when you come into the picture, you have to practically force him each time to stop working to rest even for a moment, to the point when he actually stops working even without you telling him not to. It’s just that you always force him to rest, that it feels weird if he didn’t take a break now. He also stops biting his nails, because “you say it’s unhygienic”, he says. He also doesn’t sleep much, but since he likes loves your presence and whole being, he forces himself to fix himself and his whole well being. hey, if you’re gonna “save” the world, you might as well look good while at it, right?

like fyodor, ANGO also doesn’t like overworking, in fact he hates it. But it’s his job and he signed up for it so.. no excuses. Ango knows his whole job is very dangerous, and you could get involved in dangerous matters, so from time to time, he makes sure to check up on you by texting you or calling you. It doesn’t matter what it’s about though, he just wants needs a response to make sure you’re safe. Same goes for you. You sometimes just send him a quick text to check up on him. Whenever he gets a free day from work, you guys usually stay in and relax together or just roam around Yokohama, but he’s mostly indecisive and will only go with where you want to go to or what you want to make up for the times he never is around you<3

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ʙʟᴏɢ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ @aoizaraka . ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ/ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ.

ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ © 2023

[spacexseven]

(1/3) god akutagawa… he’d be so. Severe, about the whole thing, you know? from HIS perspective he’s going through a long and arduous journey of emotional turmoil that you, wretched seducer/seductress have cruelly damned him to; but for you it’s like he COMPLETELY turned on a dime. he wouldn’t really be the sweep-you-off-your-feet type, like chuuya or dazai would be in this situation. when he gets the order to get close to you for intel reasons (and the whole time he’s wondering why this is HIS job, when has he ever been known to be personable?) he might take on the persona of a newbie in your line of work or a new tenant in your apartment complex and you he’s always kinda… there. staring at you and looking mad about something. but hey! hes probably just shy, right? why not throw him a bone, you think. you live to regret this. 

on akutagawa’s end, he doesnt know whether to laugh or scoff at your naivety. you really are making this MUCH too simple for him. like, come on now, discussing work over coffee? inviting him into your home? why don’t you go ahead and decapitate yourself for him while you’re at it. and what an irritating little insect you are, as well! constantly bothering him, talking to him, touching him… showing him affection, concern, genuine interest… completely ridiculous. he’s sure he doesnt dislike ANYONE as much as he does you.

OH GOD IF THEY PROTECT HIM??? FUCK!!!! he’d be SO touched. denies it, but he is!!! moved, even! after this, he gets really comfortable around you, moreso than he thinks he deserves. you’re just so. nice. he feels good when hes around you. the mission becomes more of a break from mafia life than an addition to it. he… likes you. no, he loves you. he loves you so much. if you express a similar romantic interest in him he’ll probably blow a gasket. he never thought he could feel this strongly about anyone (excluding his sister and dazai, ofc) 

inevitably, you find him out. hard not to, when his end goal in this whole matter was to utterly destroy you. like you said, he leaves you no choice in the matter of coming with him. he needs you, and you need him, in his mind. he can protect you! no one else will EVER protect you or love you or WORSHIP you the way he does! you don’t need anything else but him, don’t you understand? this is for the best! youre angry, of course. you hate him, curse him, try to kill him. and akutagawa feels like his entire world is falling apart. please, please, please, you can’t hate him, anything but that. he loves you he loves you he loves you PLEASE he’ll do anything to prove it to you, ANYTHING. his life is almost entirely dedicated to earning your affection and praise from here on out, kinda like how he is with dazai. you’ll see it his way eventually…. you have to….. he wont accept anything else.

instead of compiling these together, I will be answering them separately for each character :> i'll get to the rest over the week as well, just need to focus on them individually to really flesh out the ideas :>> anything under this au thing will be tagged with #spy au 🐟 (short and effective, i hope)

cw: yandere characters, deceit, manipulation, obsessive behavior, imprisonment, stalking

akutagawa doesn't really strike anyone as the ideal person to send to infiltrate some place and charm someone for information, but he has a surprisingly useful ability to sort of...blend into the background. he knows what's expected of him, sent on to a mission like this. he's not expected to flirt or coo or wink at you until your knees buckle and you fall into his arms (though now, in retrospect, that would have been a sight he would love to see). rather, what he has to do is simply exist. exist and observe.

it sounded a lot easier in theory because nobody had said anything about you. all he was told was that you'd have the information he needed, and you were not so high-up that it was impossible to talk to you, and not so unimportant that you would be useless to listen in on. nobody said anything about that damned smile and the easygoing charm and the genuine concern that radiated off you. nobody told him that you would pat his shoulder and tell him he was doing great, buy him coffee and offer your support for anything he needed. and nobody even mentioned how kind you were, unlike anyone else he's met that worked for an 'enemy' organization.

(well, it was true that you were kind to all your subordinates, but he refused to see that. to him, it was only him that you cared about right?)

then there was the fact that he could never just 'exist' when you were around. you had an eye out for everyone—not out of paranoia or control, but concern. you noticed him hiding behind the crowd, awkwardly standing by the wall, and you'd bring him closer to everyone else. you saw him, despite him not being any use to you. he was not the ruthless murderer the port mafia wanted him to be, or whatever dazai thought him as. he wasn't a rival you were deadset on beating or a guard dog that patiently sat by your feet, ready to tear apart anyone who dared even look at you the wrong way. not that he would have minded that, if it meant he could protect you from those wandering eyes. in here, he was just another one of faceless lower-rank members, loaded with boring paperwork and forced to run after everyone else.

but to you, he was the new member under your care. you used the name he was given for the mission, you asked him if he had his lunch. you brought him some of your favorite tea to try when you learned he liked drinking tea (and he drank every drop. how could he not, when you looked so eager for his opinion on it?) he wouldn't have expected more than a nod after a job finished in the port mafia, but here, he was being celebrated like he had done something. like you cared. and that thought tormented him.

at first, he pretended to hate you for it. with the appreciation, you showed, your open nature, and your sympathy—you would be torn apart and crushed in the port mafia. such traits would only lead to your demise. he couldn't show that he appreciated it because he didn't want you to think you could keep this up, and endanger yourself. he wasn't the only one trying to infiltrate your group, he knew, and if anyone else learned about you, they would try to worm inside through you. and then what? you'd never see through them, would you? akutagawa was terrible at espionage and still, he made it this far with you, hadn't he? you didn't even consider his true intentions, even after a couple of slip-ups, that he was convinced you were truly helpless. it was deplorable.

and yet...

he wanted to receive more of your attention.

it was very embarrassing when he realized what was happening. automatically running to you after finishing any task, looking forward to your check-ins, taking on anything to try and lessen your workload...what had you done to him? sometimes, he thought of what dazai would think of him now, acting like a pathetic little lap dog, deprived of love.

what really sealed the deal was the moment you risked your life to protect his. undercover akutagawa did not have an ability. that was probably why you stepped in so quickly to move him away from harm. but something about how you grabbed and lifted him, fearlessly navigating the chaos to bring him to safety struck him. something about how easily you threw aside your life for him, how immediately you jumped into action. and after all that, when you apologized to him and swore you would never let him be hurt again...

what else was he supposed to do?

akutagawa was no fool. reckless, hardheaded, maybe. but not stupid. there was no place for that in his life. but at the moment he was at a loss for words and emotions. this overwhelming warmth, this gentle embrace, this wonderful feeling—it was all so new to him. he was used to being the one risking his life to further the port mafia, not fussed over like...like his life wasn't dispensable.

your tight hold on him, your frantic apologies, your commands for someone to come help him—akutagawa had never felt so wanted before. never felt so desperate for something before, either, except maybe dazai's recognition. funny how he could tear himself apart and stick himself back together and dazai wouldn't bat an eyelid, but one little scratch on him and you're tripping over yourself to get to him, huh?

that incident is what changes everything between you two. suddenly, akutagawa is more present, more expressive to you. he talks more (still not a lot, but he's getting there), he even lets the occasional smile slip. he brings you snacks he knows you like to eat, and he just starts being around more often. always behind you, like you held a leash that was connected to him. akutagawa was sure now, that he loved you.

the warm feeling, the nervous feeling he got around you, the way he couldn't stop looking and how he always wanted you to hold him. he loved you, so much. he knew you didn't think of him as a lover—not yet. but he didn't mind. this was fine, for now. until he settled things with the pm so you would never have to know his true mission.

what he didn't expect to happen was you finding out so soon. it all happened too fast. he got a message that he had done his job and shortly after the group you worked for was eradicated. when you were finally introduced to the port mafia, you met akutagawa as himself for the first time.

and just as he feared, you were disgusted by him.

he should have expected this, right? you had every right to be upset after you trusted him so much. that didn't mean it didn't tear him apart to see the hatred in your eyes and the way you flinched away from him. he thought you would be grateful after he convinced them to let you be with him, and not punished like your friends, but you were enraged. you screamed and punched and you looked so hurt that he wanted to fall on his knees and apologize until you accepted it. he would take any punishment as long as you stayed. and you would stay, wouldn't you? when you saw the evil that lurked outside on the streets, the terrors that awaited you. you would stay when he convinced you because he would convince you. show you that he always loved you back, and that he would protect you like you did him. nothing had changed, except his name, really! it was still him, the one you laughed with and bought tea for. it was still the him that you had held in your arms after bringing him to safety.

why couldn't you see that?

[writing-radionoises]

to be loved

ship: odazai, fyodazai, kunikidazai if you squint

genre: alternative universe

prompt: in an alternate universe where when someone who cares about you touches you, it leaves a colored mark on your skin, dazai is covered in so many unwanted marks from his abuser.

notes: tw for mori typical bullshit, referenced self harm, and implied sexual content. this is also just. my au but yall are free to do whatever you want with it as long as you credit me ^^

Most people value and adore marks.

The colored hand prints and kiss marks that litter each and every person’s body, each one unique from the other.

It means that someone cares about you, loves you in any way possible.

Whether it be platonically, romantically, or familial.

However, Dazai is not one of these people who values the marks.

Being passed around from person to person has left him with left marks, most of which fade after he is passed off again.

When a mark fades, it means the person has forgotten about you, or that they’ve died.

Many of Dazai’s past caretakers have died.

However, that would be why Dazai loathes his marks or the romanticization behind them.

His body is covered in marks. Bruise-like hand prints litter his body, predominately on the wrists and waist.

He has a distinct hand print over his mouth, a hand once used to silence his screaming and protesting against the perpetrator.

Dr. Mori Ogai is the cause behind these marks. He has a tendency to manhandle Dazai, toss him around however he pleases, and use him like a toy.

Dazai hates Mori more than anything, and had always wished the marks would just disappear. He wished Mori would stop caring about him, forget about him.

He wished Mori would die.

There was nothing that Dazai hated more than feeling like Mori’s toy on display, everyone who saw him could see all the pain Mori put him through.

Dazai covered himself in every way possible. Bandages, oversized clothes, jackets in spring.

But the marks pop out against his pale skin like neon colors.

Over time, he got used to them. He got used to having no other marks than from Mori, to looking like a beaten up toy, like a broken porcelain doll.

It was, until Dazai met Odasaku.

Odasaku was a kind man, his hand was littered in little hand prints from children, like rainbow face paint. He had a warm and comforting smile, and pushed Dazai to become his friend.

The first mark Dazai had gained outside of Mori’s was one of Odasaku’s. Oda had grabbed his hand, and when he removed his hand to bid a goodbye to Dazai, a green mark remained over Dazai’s left hand.

It looked fluorescent against Dazai’s pale skin, and mellowed out over time into a pretty pastel green. Dazai would trace each where Oda’s fingers laid before sleeping in awe.

To think another person would care about him.

Many marks would follow. Odasaku was an affectionate person, he left Dazai with forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hugs, and anything of the sort.

The green of his marks popped out against the once disgusting and gross color Mori had left Dazai with.

Soon enough, the green color would be painted on his lips, as well.

Dazai grew fond of the marks Oda would leave on him, and would ignore the ones Mori had left.

More colors followed suit with Oda’s.

Ango’s was a light brown, only the slightest bit darker than Dazai’s skin tone. He left behind the ghost of hand shakes, ghosts of the memory of wiping off Dazai’s face.

A light brown lingered against Dazai’s scarred arms from Ango’s stitching, overlapping with the bruises Mori left.

It had shocked Dazai the first time he saw such marks, having believed that Ango could care less about him. But nonetheless, Ango’s marks appeared on his skin, and never left.

When Osamu had picked up the homeless and sickly Akutagawa siblings, he had noticed the younger one, Gin, was covered in blotchy and inky black hand prints. Against her cheek, along her hands, on her shoulders. Dazai found the same marks on himself later that night after carrying the older Akutagawa to his car. Sure enough, a blotchy black handprint laid against his collarbone, where Ryuunosuke had clung to him like a kitten.

Dazai had remembered reading somewhere that black markings were rare. A certain part of him was rather happy that Ryuunosuke had left one on him.

Over time, Dazai started looking more and more like an abstract painting than a person.

He loved it. He loved feeling loved.

But all good things come to an end.

Ango betrayed him and Odasaku, leading to Odasaku’s death, and eventually to Ango abandoning Dazai.

The last mark Odasaku left on him before his death was a light touch on the cheek as he pulled off the bandages covering the scar Akutagawa had left Dazai.

He asked Dazai to do one thing for him, one last thing to make Dazai happy.

To be on the side that saves people.

An unconventional request it was, hard to process among every other thought racing through Dazai’s mind.

He didn’t want Oda to disappear, he didn’t want the last person to truly love him to die yet.

The thought of the marks Oda left on him shattered Dazai’s heart. The last thing he would have left of Oda, gone.

… And yet, the green marks never disappeared.

Weeks went by after Oda’s death, Dazai would awaken every morning and stare into the mirror, waiting for them to fade.

But they didn’t.

Oda may have been gone, but his love wasn’t. His love for Dazai would outlive him, and carry Dazai to trying to do the right thing.

He left the Port Mafia.

He waited for Akutagawa’s marks on him to disappear. For Mori’s marks to disappear.

They never did. If anything, Akutagawa’s marks grew more vibrant against his skin.

He couldn’t tell if he was getting paler, or if the marks really were changing color.

Mori’s marks remained, much to Dazai’s dismay.

He’ll just have to wait for the old bastard to die.

The surprising part, more so, was that Ango’s marks stayed. The cinnamon color remained over his hands, in streaks against his face, and underneath his knees from being carried.

Dazai never understood why they didn’t. He couldn’t comprehend Ango still caring about him after all this time.

He wondered if Ango’s marks stayed on Odasaku, too.

He never found out the answer.

Dazai had his identity erased, now at 19 years old, and bought a cheap apartment with his savings.

No longer a mafia member, but now just a kid.

… A kid just barely under the drinking age. Which was annoying.

Dazai converted his former alcoholism into a caffeine addiction.

There was a coffee shop down the street from his apartment that he liked to go to, despite the sad memories with it.

His first get together with Oda and Ango.

“I’ve… Only had black coffee before, I don’t know what to get,” Dazai mumbled, rubbing his bandaged arm awkwardly as Ango turned to him.

Oda was already at the counter, ordering something.

“Do you need suggestions?” Ango asked, to which Dazai nodded.

Ango pulled Dazai close against his chest, readjusting his glasses as he began to narrow things down for Dazai, figuring out something he’d like.

Dazai was incredibly confused by how much Ango knew about coffee, he was certain the other had been too busy to visit coffee shops like this all that much.

“Can I have a large iced white mocha with… Four extra shots of espresso?”

“You want six in that?”

“Yeah, please,” Dazai said with a smile.

“Alright…” The cashier said, wary as she looked over the total, “That’ll be 600 yen.”

Dazai handed the woman his money, and left the line to go sit down by the window.

It’s frosty outside, winter is making its way into Yokohama.

Dazai will have to buy a new jacket soon…

A man slides into the seat across from Dazai. He adorns a clean white button up, and a fluffy white coat over his shoulders. His hair is a deep purple, shoulder length and silky smooth, a white fluffy hat atop his head. His face is soft, and his piercing violet eyes bright with curiosity, wonder with the world around him. There’s a bandage over his right cheek, and bandaids all across his fingers. It appears he has a habit of biting them.

Dazai can’t find this man anything short of gorgeous. The smile on the man’s face tells him more people think the same.

“My, my, you are an interesting looking one,” says the man with a smile, a foreign accent slips into his Japanese with easy, “Like a patchwork doll, I have not seen anyone quite like you.”

Dazai returns the smile, “So I’ve been told. You’re a strange looking one yourself, you aren’t from around here, are you?”

The man nods a no, “Ah, no. I am from Russia, though I am fluent in Japanese and English.”

“Far way from home, I see. Your Japanese is very good for a tertiary language.”

“Thank you,” replies the man, “My former teachers regarded me as a language prodigy. Ah, I’ve forgotten to ask… What might be your name?”

“Osamu Dazai,” the brunette replied, propping his head up in his hands, “Yours?”

“Fyodor Dostoevsky,” he replied.

“Dosto… Dos-”

“Fyodor is fine. I understand in Japanese you call people by their last names, however, Russian last names are hard on the Japanese tongue.”

“Fyodor-san,” Dazai corrected, “You are quite the stunning one, you know? Your beauty is incomparable to anything I’ve ever seen.”

A smile appeared on Fyodor’s face, Dazai half expected him to get flustered, though he remained calm.

“Many people say the same, I don’t quite understand. I believe I’m rather average looking, to say the least…”

The server provides Dazai with his drink, and passing what appears to be a caramel macchiato to Fyodor as she leaves, Dazai hums a thank you to her.

Fyodor pops the lid off his drink, fishing out a small bottle of clear liquid and dumping it into the drink as he stirs with his straw.

“Vodka? Isn’t it like nine in the morning?”

“I said I am Russian, did I not?”

Dazai laughs a bit.

Fyodor writes his phone number on Dazai’s napkin later.

His handwriting is crooked and messy, though to Dazai, it looks amazing.

He doesn’t quite understand his interest in this Fyodor person.

Dazai awakens in a hotel room.

He’s been in ones like these time and time again, never remembering where he was.

After Odasaku died, Dazai developed a habit of letting people take him home for temporary pleasure.

However, this one is different.

The hotel room smells heavily of alcohol, yet the place is rather neat. Coats hung up on the closet doors, lean counters, suitcases emptied and set to the side.

Dazai pulls the white sheets closer to his naked body as he glances next to him, to see the sleeping body of Fyodor Dostovesky.

His hat had been discarded, placed haphazardly on the bedside table, yet he looked incredibly peaceful when he slept.

Dazai remembered more bit by bit. Fyodor invited him to a bar, asking if Dazai would teach him a little more about Japanese drinking culture. They, of course, got drunk. He supposed Fyodor and him hooked up shortly afterwards.

Dazai wasn’t surprised, he did this with just about every man he met nowadays.

Dazai glanced down and over his own body.

No new marks. To be expected.

Yet, when he looked over Fyodor, he was a blank canvas.

He adorned no marks from what Dazai saw.

His brows furrowed in confusion, Fyodor must be a well-loved man with his beauty and interesting personality.

At the very least, he would have marks from his mother and father, right?

The plot thickens, and Dazai slides out of bed to get his clothes.

Fyodor awakens shortly afterwards, greeting Dazai with what Dazai assumes in a ‘good morning,’ though he has spoken in Russian.

He watched Fyodor brush out his hair, button up his shirt and place his hat back on, and then proceed to order breakfast in for the two of them.

Dazai comes to the conclusion that Fyodor is an amazing actor, and that he definitely has a hangover he’s not talking about.

As they eat, Dazai decides to spring a question.

“You don’t have any marks at all, do you?” He asked the other man.

Fyodor glances up from his food, shifting his head to the side as he nods.

“Yes, I have no such markings. It is a mystery to me as well.”

“Not even ones from your parents, eh?” Dazai asked, shoving a piece of omurice into his mouth.

“My parents died when I was young,” Fyodor explained, “It was my fault, it was an ability accident. I was fostered shortly afterwards by a priest, though he never left any markings on me, either. I do not know much of anyone outside of them.”

“So you’r-”

“Unloved,” Fyodor interrupted, followed by a smile, “But I do not mind. I have never left markings on another person, either.”

Dazai’s brows furrowed, “Never, huh?”

Fyodor nods, “Never. I have started to believe I’m incapable of doing such.”

“Incapable of caring for others?”

The Russian man looks up, thinking about his answer for a few minutes before looking down at his food. There’s a slight somber look in his eyes, one of loneliness and doubt.

“I suppose so.”

It’s been years since Dazai and Fyodor met. Their relationship broke off, Dazai joined the Detective Agency, and Fyodor went off to become a terrorist.

Dazai is now 22, and Fyodor is 23.

It is not the first time they have seen each other again after all their years as teens, but the first time they’ve been alone together since then.

They both escape from the prison, Fyodor now his enemy instead of a past lover or friend.

But Fyodor still smiles at him like he’s a friend.

No marks appear on Fyodor’s skin, though Dazai has gained some new ones.

Soft yellow ones from Kunikida, his partner.

A brash violet from Atsushi, his newest apprentice.

A dull green from Fukuzawa, his mentor and father figure.

Among many others from so many of the agency members. Dazai is back on his feet, he feels loved once more, and will not let anyone take that from him.

And yet, when Fyodor looks at him, he can feel the slightest bit of jealousy from the Russian man, too.

He wants to be loved, too. Dazai knows it.

Dazai wonders if he’s the only person who has ever cared about Fyodor, wonders if Fyodor even knows it.

Fyodor readjusts his hat as he walks closer to Dazai.

“Might I show you something, Osamu?” He asks.

“If it isn’t death, sure,” Dazai replied, half joking.

The smile on the other’s face softens, “It is not death, I promise.”

Fyodor fumbles with his hands before taking the left one, fingertips covering his bandaids, and gently caressing Dazai’s cheek. It feels cold, the other’s anemia leaves Fyodor with icy cold hands and feet. He used to tease Dazai with it, but this was not him teasing.

Fyodor’s face is soft and genuine and as he removes his hand, followed by a weak smile.

“I thought I should probably contribute to the masterpiece.”

Fyodor leaves before Dazai can say anything as he presses his hand against his now cold cheek, looking into his reflection in the glass windows.

A baby blue handprint had made itself home on Dazai’s cheek, where Fyodor had touched him.

A smile came to his face.

“So you weren’t incapable after all,” Osamu says, softly.

How peculiar...

[qtheronie]

Dazais ill-fortune

Warnings; fluff to angst, mention of death, some cuss words.

Yuh girl back at it again with some angst!

And I’m sorry if this is super crappy and if you find grammar errors, the thing I use to help with my writing has disowned me!

My goal in life was to get enough money to buy a cure for my mother's sickness. So that's why I started working at the armed detective agency. I became friends with a man named Osamu Dazai then soon became lovers. I’ve made so many friends and memories apon working here. My first memory was when I first met Osamu

{February 14th, past.}

I pulled the doors open to mine and my boyfriend's favorite cafe. As I walked in, I was greeted by one of my ideal workers, Amani Takahashi. She immediately grabbed two menus and walked me towards my usual booth.

She had sat me down and grinned, she pulled out her little notebook and grabbed the pencil from her ear and asked me what to drink.

“The usual?” she asked, and I nodded in return. “And for the special boy?”

“The usual for him as well, a black coffee.”

Amani smiled and scribbled down the request and ran off to the kitchen. I had pulled out my phone and looked at the time. (7:30) It flashed. I sighed and turned off my phone, waiting for him to come.

Amani came back with our drinks and set them onto the table. She pulled out her little notebook again and asked if I was ready to order. But I told her no and to wait for (Boyfriend's name) to show up. The waitress nodded and put her notebook back into her pants and walked off to more customers.

Thirty minutes had now passed, and they're still was no sign of him showing up. I let out a soft groan and rested my hand on my cheek and looked out the window. ‘He’s going to show up! I know he will, I just need to wait.’

I sighed and looked at my phone, an hour had passed and still no trace of him. Not even a text. The bell on the door to the cafe had rung, making my head peep up. I was hoping that it was him, but it was a boy with shaggy brown hair with bandages wrapped around his arms and face making it look like he was heavily injured. I cringed at the scene and wished that he was doing okay.

He looked over at my way and made eye contact with me; he showed a soft smile as I did in return. I felt a notification go off on my phone, which caused me to break eye contact with the boy and look down at my phone.

I had received a text message from (boyfriend's name). I smiled a bit. I opened my phone and went into his contact and called him, which he picked up seconds later.

“Hey!” I heard his voice from the other line, “I'm sorry that I didn't show up today. I was uh, a little busy.”

The small smile on my face had dropped. Of course, he was busy. He always is.

“It's okay. I should’ve known that you were busy.” I was going to ask him if we could replan, but I heard the faint voice of a woman. “Are you at work?”

“No, I’m at home. Why?”

Now, I didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who assumes that your partner is cheating on you, but why was there a voice of a woman on the other line? I shake my head at my thoughts and respond to him.

“No reason, just making sure you’re safe.”

There was that voice again, but this time it was louder and was calling out to (Boyfriend’s name).

“(boyfriend’s name), is anyone with you?”

“No.” He responded, “God, you’re getting nosy.”

“Oh- uh sorry, I was just wondering.”

“No, you think I have a girl over don’t I?”

Well yea kinda, I’m not dumb I heard a voice. I thought.

“No! Of course not.”

“I know you’re thinking that I do, you think I'm cheating on you?”

“(boyfriend’s name)-” But I was too late, he hung up.

I set my phone down on the table roughly and curled my hands. Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes as time passed. I folded my arms on the table and let my head fall. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to prevent tears from falling.

“Whats a beautiful lady like you sitting here all by yourself and crying due to boyfriend issues” I heard a voice ask. I lifted up my head to see that same man who I saw earlier. I quickly wipe away my tears and straighten my back.

“How did you-” I started but was quickly cut off.

“Waitress” the strange man called, “Can I get a cup of wine, and this beautiful young lady a?”

“You don’t need to get me anything, i'm good.”

“Please, I hate to see such a pretty face cry. So Please, what would you like?”

I looked at the man shyly and then told him what I wanted, “A strawberry milkshake, please” The waiter smiled and took note and left to the kitchen.

“Why are you doing this? We don’t even know each other.”

“Well, we can solve that problem! I am Osamu Dazai”

Osamu Dazai, I thought. He looks like one. I look at Dazai once again. Now I can see more detail of what he looks like. He had gorgeous brown eyes that somewhat matched the pale color of his skin. He has bandages wrapped around his arms and face. He had also had a little gauze patch on his cheek and was even wearing a black trench coat.

“Well, m’lady, you have a name right?” Dazai asked, breaking me out of my train of thought.

“Oh yea, sorry. My name is (Your name), (Last name).”

{Present}

That was the day that I had met Osamu Dazai, valentines day. Where my boyfriend couldn’t join me because he was busy with some girl or something. I’m almost glad that (boyfriend’s name) didn’t come. Dazai made me realize that I didn’t need such a person that I didn’t need someone who didn’t love me. Cause one day, he's going to wake up and notice that he should’ve tried. And that I was worth the fight.

The only person I needed was Osamu.

That brings us up to the next important memory I had of Osamu.

{ May 30th, past }

“Osamu, how much longer am I going to have to wait?” (Your name) asked, trying to adjust her seat in the car while being blindfolded. “My butt hurts.”

(Your name) heard the man beside her chuckling before the car came to a stop. “You don’t need to wait any longer! I shall come and save you, my belladonna.” Dazai unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his car. He then opened the door on (Your names) side and carefully helped her out.

He grabbed onto her hand and led her through what felt like sand. “Osamu Dazai, I swear if you’re going to try to make me commit double suicide with you, then I am not interested.”

Dazai once chuckled again, “Don’t worry. It’s not going to be a double suicide this time. Though I wish you would just let me die in your arms, then I would be at peace.” he slightly pouted.

“You know, if I wasn’t blindfolded I might’ve just happened to take that offer”

“My sweet belladonna, would you really!?” Dazai’s eyes had lightened up in excitement.

“Just kidding.” Dazai groaned and mumbled a few words under his breath.

After a few minutes of walking they were finally there. Dazai had (Your name) stay in place as he stood behind her and untied her blindfold. The girl felt Dazais fingers slowly untie the knot. Soon light quickly invaded her face making her squint as she slowly started to adjust her eyes to the new light her and mouth dropped.

He had taken her to the beach. He knew that she loved midnight walks on beaches so when he finally got some free time from the agency he would take her to the beach at midnight. And then confess what he longed to do. His love.

“You might wanna close your mouth before bugs get in.”

(Your name) chuckled and slapped his chest playfully, she then felt dazais back press onto her chest. He wrapped his arms around her figure and rested his face between her neck and shoulders. (Your name) rested one hand on top of dazais, and the other went up into his hair. “My, my, someone's affectionate tonight.” Dazai left an “mhm” for a response. His grip onto her waist had grown tighter as if someone were to take her away from him. He buried his head deeper between her neck and shoulders and let out a soft I love you. He wasn’t thinking that he was going to get a response, but when (Your name) said that she loved him too, his world stopped.

Dazai took a deep breath and pulled away from (your name) and made her turn around. Dazai closed his eyes and let out a sigh before starting. “Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice, or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.”

“Osamu-”

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” Dazai had finished, he had a small spark of hope that the girl who he felt so desperately in love with would return the feelings, but her silence was beginning to make him doubt the little faith he had.

“(your name),” He started, “I'm sorry-” But he was quickly cut off as he felt her lips on his.

(Your name) had placed her hands on both sides of his cheeks and pulled away but close enough that she felt his breath on her lips. “I love you,” she said before placing another kiss on his lips before pulling back. “Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” and she kissed him again but this time it was longer.

Dazai had put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him, then he pulled back from the kiss.

“Then would you do me the favor of becoming the one who I can commit a double suicide with?”

“Depends.” (Your name) giggled, “will you become my boyfriend?”

Dazai smirked and kissed her again, “I think you already know the answer to that, belladonna”

{Present}

Now, we’ve come along this far, and you’re probably thinking that I fulfilled the goal I had for my mother and married Osamu.

No.

Everybody has their share of life before they have to leave.

So this is the last important memory I had of Osamu, the day I died.

{June 19th, past}

We were walking down the road hand in hand when it happened. If it wasn’t for (your names) special ability, it wouldn’t have been dazai instead of her.

A white-looking car had sped down the road with the windows down with two men in it, the driver and the passenger with the gun. As the car drove past the two couple (Your names) ability had activated, making the world slow down. She had looked to the left where dazai had been at, which was next to the car. The person in the passenger seat had fired the gun rapidly. The girl let go of dazais hand and latched on to his arm, making him stumble back, making him nearly missing the bullets.

This wasn’t (your names) plan, her plan was to take him home and grant him his wish and start a family with him. It also wasn’t her plan to get shot at either.

(Your names) ability has disactivated making the car sped off and dazai falling to the ground with (your name) on him.

“(Your name)!” She heard dazai scream her name. He quickly got off the ground and pick (your name) up and into his arms.

She had felt dazais chest rise up and down quickly, and his grip on her tighten as he runs. The girl looked up at her boyfriend, gazing at his face that had the sheer look of panic.

“Osamu.” (Your name) whispered, she lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. “I’m not going to make it.”

This caused dazai to look down at the girl, tears running down his face. “No! Don’t say that, we’re so close to the agency! Yasono will help you! She’ll heal you!”

(Your name) smiled and coughed out a little blood, “Osamu, you know I love you. I love you so much, so very much.”

“Please just a little longer! I can see the agency from here!” Dazai cried. He was never like this, but he couldn’t care less that people could see him scream and cry. The love of his life, his girlfriend, his soon to be wife, and his baby (pet name), was dying in his arms.

“Osamu, you’re..so..strong..” (your name) whispered, letting her hand slowly fall from his face.

Dazai got to the building where the agency was, and kicked the door open, “yosano!” Dazai yelled, which to his luck, the doctor rushed out of her office.

She looked at the boy with the girl in his arms and ushered him into her office. Dazai had set the girl onto the bed and backed up, letting the female doctor take over.

It had only been an hour or two, but to dazai, it felt like the entirety. Yosano had opened the door and looked at dazai with pain in her eyes. Dazai stood up from his seat and ran into the room, and there she was. On a bed, she was barely breathing. He knew that it was only going to be a bit until she had to go.

He walked to her bed and sat on the chair beside her. Dazai reached over to (your names) hand and held it. He then placed his other hand on the side that he was holding and brought it up to his head, “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your Osamu.” He finally spoke, answering (your names) response from before.

He had heard (your name) slightly and quietly giggled. She turned her head and lifted her unoccupied hand and placed it on dazais cheek. “That’s right. You’re my Osamu. Don’t ever doubt your strength even though you don’t feel it.”

“I love you (your name)! You can’t leave me, please. I don’t know what I would do without you!”

“Osamu..”

“If you’re going to leave me, then at least let me come with you!”

“No Osmau..it isn’t your time yet.”

“Please..” he cried out

(Your name) grabbed his hand and pressed his palm agasint her lips, “I love you so much.”

Dazai had let go of her hand and placed his on her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her cheekbone. “I love you too”

“I’m glad that I get to die by your side. I do.” (Your name) smiled, and used the last of her strength to kiss the man she loved so much, dazai quickly pressed a hand on her back and head.

Dazai pulled back to look at the girl “(your name)?” Dazai asked, but got no response. He slowly laid her down. “You promised (your name).” He mumbled, “you promised that you would commit double suicide with me.” Dazai looked down at the women he loved and grabbed her cold hand. “But you forget that you can’t do a double suicide alone.”

{present}

This is the end of my story, the story that took so long to start and finish too fast.

We learn that some stories just don’t have happy endings, and sometimes that’s okay, cause one day you’ll meet again.

END

Haha, thank you for reading this long angst and sucky book. This took me about a week to complete, and this is the longest story I have ever written.

Quotes I used: “you’re..so..strong..” “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your..” -Mikhail and yuliy, Sirius the jaeger.

“Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.” -unknown

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” -unknown

“Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” -unknown

(I got all of my quotes on Pinterest)

Big thanks to @xxxlilacskiesxxx skiesxxx for letting me use your Oc, Amani Takahashi.

And a big thanks to @tea-memes for helping me correct this and giving me ideas for this. Big help :)

[mahkaria]

headcanon: atsushis mother is an assassin her toddlers life was in danger due to some leaked info about his ability his mother knows he isn’t safe anymore so she takes him to the same place she was raised, the orphanage, and begs for his child to forgive her in a distant future where they meet again. she is hired to kill the ada’s president. (love your writing!!)

SO... It’s probably a bit angsty... only a bit??? But I hope you’ll enjoy it

I had written something a bit better but I deleted it. Clumsiness is great...

(Thank you !)

-She had never wanted children. She was one of the most efficient assassin of the government with more blood on her hands than anyone had any right to.

- During the night, when she’s awoken by kicks in her stomach she wonders why she decided to keep them. Maybe because of loneliness, she thinks. Apart from her kouhai she’s not really close to anyone.

- The baby is premature. That’s what happens when you’re pregnant and still take life threatening missions. He’s little but alive so she guesses it still counts.

- She can’t help being worried. When he was born his hair had been brown. The same as hers. But as month passes by, they get clearer and clearer. It reaches a point when they become as white as bones.  He didn’t inherit it from his father. She had been drunk out of her mind when they had slept together but she still remembered his red eyes and black hair.

- Because of her work, she’s not really positive when it comes to estimating how long she lives. She decides to name the said kouhai as his godfather.

“Listen, Yuki, you have to take care of him, okay.”

Fukuzawa is very confused when he sees a toddler in his senpai arms.

“So... You’re a mother?” “Thanks for trying to be polite but I’m as surprised as you are.”

He agrees to be the godfather/ reluctant babysitter. It helps Atsushi is probably is one of the calmest baby ever. The kid sure knows how to take a nap. If she doesn’t wake him up he’ll sleep all day long.

- She discovers her son’s ability when she comes back from a short term mission. A cub is playing with a very confused Fukuzawa and she understands quickly she’ll have to do something about it. The government will learn about it and when it happens (not if) her kid will be as trapped as she is. Yeah, not happening. She knows she’s a rotten human being but not enough to subjugate her son to that.

- She brings him to the only other person she trusts. (they don’t like each other but they know they can count on the other). They had been raised together and gone through war. Ryuu is not like the boy she remembers. He’s stoic, cold. She explains to him her son’s ability.

“He’ll have to be strong.” She says. All ability users are condemned to a life of fear and pain. She can at least make sure Atsushi will survive.

“I’ll train him.”

She hates herself for feeling relief at those words. Considering their childhood, “training” corresponded more to physical and psychological torture than real training. She smiles and leaves without turning back.

(Sometimes, she thinks she could have just left the military. It wouldn’t have been that complicated. However, she also knows Yukichi also wants to escape. To abandon blood and murder and help to improve Yokohama. There is no way they’ll let two of their best assassins leave. So she sacrifices and if Fukuzawa knows about it, he nevers says anything)

-Seventeen years later, a young man enters the Agency. He has the same face as his mother but lacks the determination she always carried. He looks tired and scared. Fukuzawa wants nothing more than to take care of him. He can still remember the baby who always liked holding to his scarf and who could giggle for hours. -He doesn’t follow his desire. Instead, he breathes deeply, mentally apologizes to Atsushi’s mother and carries on the entrance exam. -His role as president is to be impartial toward his employees. He knows it, that’s why he leaves the final decision of him joining to Dazai.

(He doesn’t sigh in relief when Atsushi finally joins. Not at all)

-When Ranpo first meets Atsushi, his first reaction is to stand up and gives a lecture to Fukuzawa. He doesn’t really care about the kid (yet) but he won’t let his father figure act like a coward. -After their first case together, Ranpo starts bringing Atsushi with him more often and explaining him some stuff (when he feels like it) about how to solve cases. To the members of the ADA who know Ranpo, it’s a real mystery to see him act this way with their newest member. They mainly go together to restaurants. Fukuzawa sometimes join them. (Dazai isn’t jealous to see the detective kidnap his subordinate not at all)

(Ranpo keeps sending him smug looks and it pisses him off)

-One day, as they’re going back to the dormitory, Fukuzawa stops himself and asks the two young men to leave without him and walks toward an alley. Without thinking, Atsushi follows him. Ranpo stays behind, an usual grim expression on his face.

-Atsushi finds Fukuzawa fighting… Well, he’s not sure. His opponent is a swift and unreachable as water. They’re holding a sword and judging from how they fight, they’re just as dangerous as Fukuzawa. - He doesn’t hesitate and activates his ability to stop them. Before he can do anything, they jump away, something akin to panic in how they hold themselves. Atsushi intends to follow them but Fukuzawa stops him.

“They were trying to kill you, president !”

“It doesn’t matter, don’t follow her, Atsushi-kun.”

“But-”

-After this, everyone can see how Atsushi is staring at Fukuzawa. The man doesn’t know how to react. On one side, he wants to tell him but on the other he just doesn’t know how to formulate it.

How could this conversation even go? Yes, your mom is alive, she just couldn’t keep you because she’s an assassin. You’re the result of a one night-stand

(He can almost hear Mori making fun on how socially inept he is)

-At the end, he doesn’t really have the choice. She just arrives at the agency once everyone has left. Their reunion doesn’t go as he wished. Quite the contrary.

“I’m here to say goodbye.” Is the first thing she tells him.

“What’s going on?”

“Some of the higher ups have ordered me to kill you.” The answer is short and concise, just like her. “It’s either me or you.”

“What about-”

“He never knew I existed. He’ll keep living just like before.”

“Ake-”

“Goodbye, Yukichi.”

-At this moment, Atsushi is busy helping Lucy to improve her coffee-making skills. He goes out and sees her outside. Thanks to his ability, he recognizes her without any problem.

“Did you try to kill the president again?”

-It stopped hurting a long time. She only feels numb. She watches this kid who could have been hers had she not taken the wrong decisions, how he doesn’t hesitate to threaten her. She doesn’t have the right to be angry at him so she smiles.

“Believe it if you want but we’re friends. Or used to be.”

Then after a few seconds, she decides to change the subject.

“You’re the kid who saved this city, aren’t you?”

It makes him blush which looks endearing on him.

“Not really. It was a group effort.”

“Well, still. It’s good to see someone like you is here to protect the city.”

Pink turns into red and against her will she feels her smile soften. A dark feeling curls into her stomach. If she doesn’t leave right now, she’ll never be able to and if she doesn’t…

“You won’t have to worry about me anymore, Atsushi-kun. Goodbye.”

“Wait, how do you-”

And once again, she leaves without turning back. She’s good at this kind of thing.

[elliotthezubat]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS OC MEGA POST THING

just an info dump on my BSD OCs

ITS GONNA BE A LONG ONE SO BEAR WITH ME

also

DO NOT REPOST MY KISEKAE PICS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!

Name: Rain (real name: ???) Age: 23 Affiliation: port mafia Ability: misfortune absorption [absorbs back luck around her, but as a result gets her into some awkward situations] Birthday: September 16

likes: Chuuya Nakahara, red velvet cake, quiet evenings, warm blankets, hydrangea flowers

dislikes: ougai mori, her ability, embarrassing situations

VA: Satomi Arai

bio: mori’s secretary. she’s rather meek and often hard on herself, but she is hardworking and cares a lot about those close to her. though she has a huge crush on chuuya, she feels she is unworthy of his affections.

Name: Naoya Shiga Age: 25 Affiliation: port mafia Ability: perspective [allows her to sight jack anyone within 400 feet of her Birthday: February 20

likes: bubble gum, motorcycles, anarchy

dislikes: tedious work, her father, osamu dazai

VA: Mie Sonozaki

bio: she joined the mafia after a falling out with her father. she is part of the black lizard squad as well as designated mafia mom friend. enjoys joking around with people, but can hold grudges against those she dislikes.

Name: Yana Age: 19-22? Affiliation: rats in the house of the dead Ability: n/a Birthday: January 9

likes: taxidermy, listening to her Walkman

dislikes: people messing with her work station, being interrupted.

VA: Shizuka Itou

Bio: a lady of many mysteries. despite this, she has a rather casual, if sarcastic attitude and is usually in the morally grey area. it’s often difficult to tell what she’s thinking.

Name: Mary Shelly

Age: 19

Affiliation: none

Ability: Frankenstein [allows her to bring back dead animals. not human. NEVER human]

Birthday: August 30

Likes: animals, road trips

Dislikes: smoking

VA: Eri Kitamura

Bio: very unlucky and is often finding herself injured. but despite this, she keeps a positive and cheerful attitude and tries to help people as best as she can.

Name: Bram Stoker Age: 23 Affiliation: none Ability: Dracula [allows him to create and control blood] Birthday: November 8 Likes: soft pillows, piano music Dislikes: being ill VA: Tatsuhisa Suzuki Bio: mary’s friend and often caretaker. his ability often causes him to vomit copious amounts of blood. known to have a rather gloomy aura about him, his most common phrase is ‘i’ll certainly die’.

Name: Miura Age: ??? (appears 24) Affiliation: port mafia Ability: ... Birthday: July 30 Likes: working Dislikes: interruptions, coffee VA: Hiromi Konno Bio: one would say that she’s married to the job. she is another mafia secretary and often keeps everyone else in line. rarely expresses emotion, almost as if she were robotic...

Name: Oscar Wilde Age: 25 Affiliation: the guild remnants Ability: portrait of dorian gray [allows him to shapeshift into another person, but he must have a visual reference to work with] Birthday: October 26 Likes: stylish clothes, baked goods Dislikes: bigotry, tacky wallpaper VA: Ryohei Kimura Bio: flamboyant and not afraid to break gender norms, he is also a master of sass. he also loves to give nicknames to everyone.

Name: Shizuka Kanei Age: 21 Affiliation: port mafia Ability: n/a Birthday: May 25 Likes: cats, ougai mori, flowers Dislikes: thunderstorms VA: Azumi Asakura Bio: mori’s secretary during the dark era, she appears younger than she actually is. a bit naïve as well, it is unknown what happened to her...

Name: George Eliot Age: 15 Affiliation: n/a Ability: n/a Birthday: November 22 Likes: freedom, potatoes Dislikes: feeling restricted VA: Nana Mizuki Bio: a common street urchin? or something else?

Name: Charlotte Bronte Age: 12 Affiliation: order of the clock tower Ability: jane eyre [creates a puppet entity to protect her] Birthday: January 17 Likes: tea parties, her sister Dislikes: mud VA: Aoi Yuuki Bio: one of the bronte twins. not much is known about them yet.

Name: Emily Bronte

Age: 12

Affiliation: order of the clock tower

Ability: wurthering heights [increases the strength of the ability of anyone she chooses]

Birthday: January 17

Likes: tea parties, her sister

Dislikes: mud

VA: Inori Minase

Bio: one of the bronte twins not much is known about them at this time.

Name: Elwyn Brooks ‘Ebie’ White Age: 17 Affiliation: the guild remnants Ability: ebie’s web [allows her to transform into a spider Birthday: July 11 Likes: her plush pig Wilbur, county fairs, apples Dislikes: fire, long car rides, anything fermented VA: Yuki Matsuoka Bio: a girl with a big heart and a wild imagination, is the one doing recon for the guild remnants.

Name: Jane Austen Age: 24 Affiliation: order of the clock tower Ability: pride and prejudice [creates an illusion of what the target desires the most] Birthday: December 16 Likes: romance, roses, handsome men Dislikes: crude people, people who hate love VA: Aina Suzuki Bio: a hopeless romantic, she hopes to meet the love of her life someday.

Name: Katya Age: 27 Affiliation: rats in the house of the dead Ability: 10 seconds [allows her to freeze time for 10 seconds] Birthday: August 28 Likes: guns, toying with her enemies Dislikes: boredom VA: Miyu Tomita Bio: nicknamed the ‘silver bullet witch’, she is formerly a trained soldier with a strong bloodlust. also don't call her short, just don't.

Name: Nankichii Niimi Age: 14 Affiliation: salamander publishing Ability: gon the little fox [creates a fox like creature to protect him] Birthday: July 30 Likes: rainy days, his mother Dislikes: scary places, being away from home VA: Hiromi Hirata Bio: one of kenji’s friends of ihatov, but is his exact opposite in terms of personality. nankichii is rather timid and often prone to crying under stress. he also lost his mother at a young age.

Name: Rowena Poe Age: 16 Affiliation: n/a Ability: n/a Birthday: November 1 Likes: the occult, her brother, fairy tales Dislikes: people who hurt her family, the smell of certain mushrooms VA: Reina Ueda Bio: poe’s younger sister plz don't kill me canon purists with a strong fascination with the occult. she also genuinely cares for her brother’s well being and was often the one looking after him back at home.

Name: Colette Age: 27 Affiliation: MIMIC Ability: n/a Birthday: January 28 Likes: flowers, her country, gide Dislikes: her father, being looked down on. VA: Ayumi Fujimura Bio: a member of mimic and damn good with a musket. she has a strong sense of right and wrong, and is also a bit of a goofball. also gide’s lover before she was killed in the battle against the order of the clock tower

Name: Anna Barkova Age: 19 Affiliation: rats in the house of the dead Ability: n/a Birthday: July 16 Likes: chew toys, bones, Fyodor? Dislikes: nothing...? VA: Kaori Shimizu Bio: Fyodor's childhood ‘friend’ (if you could call that ‘friendship’) who behaves like a dog on orders from Fyodor. she also lost her eye when he stabbed her with a screw driver. possibly unstable?

Name: Zoey Lewis Age: 24 Affiliation: rats in the house of the dead Ability: n/a Birthday: March 10 Likes: Fyodor, love, pain inflicted on her Dislikes: enemies of the RHOD, her former self VA: Sayaka Kanda Bio: a former nurse, she ended up being recruited by Fyodor and has since become utterly devoted to him. she has almost no sense of free will of her own anymore and follows Fyodor's commands above all else. [ie she’s kinda messed up. a lot.]

phew, that’s about as many as I can list ATM otherwise i’d die

bios don't contain everything, just the most basic facts.

feel free to ask them anything

DO NOT REPOST MY KISEKAE PICS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

A Double Black, Please

A soukoku fic that was based on a pun, posted on my AO3

Summary: Chuuya works at a bar in order to pay for his extra expenses on wine, and has been for a while. However, he can't help but be reminded of the one person that left him. He drinks a coffee, and of course, it's his luck that makes /him/ come into his life again.

Amazingly enough, despite the Port Mafia's expenses, the job didn't pay all that well. At least, for someone like Chuuya, who needed to have his therapy moment of enjoying the 'finer things in life'. Those things being wine. He wouldn't exactly call himself an alcoholic, but he noticed that ever since Dazai left him, he's been drinking more. Or perhaps it was the same amount the whole time, when one gets that delightful buzz in their head and blurry eyes it really is hard to tell.

However, such things made getting few, well admittedly more than a few bottles of wine difficult. Which is why, fittingly enough, Chuuya's behind the bar stand on this very night, polishing some glasses. Also throwing out the less than occasional drunkard is really another one of life's delights. With a sad eye he looked over at the cellar, his hat pegged on a rack and his hair tied up. Such a uniform really was illogical, what kind of idiot thinks that wearing an uncovered white top at a bar is a good idea?

Thankfully enough, no one seemed to recognise him. He chose this bar purely because of the fact that to his knowledge, none of the other of the Port Mafia went there. It wasn't a huge concern for Chuuya, even if they did. Even with another job, it was a chance where Chuuya could feel a semblance of what he considered to be 'free'. A place where he felt just as sane and just as deserving of a drink as anyone, where he (for the most part) didn't need to follow whims of higher-ups.

There was no baggage. Yes, that's what it was. Nothing compelled to remember, no painful reminders or loathing for even thinking about such a weakness. As much as Chuuya hated to admit it, it was the latter more than anything, because he simply couldn't forget or forgive-

"That pieceeee of shit." A low drawl came from a man who fell off the stool. "But I don't give nothin' to him no more, I don't give a shit." Thankfully, there weren't any glasses that were falling or smashed, as Chuuya leaned over, with great difficulty. Nope. Too high. For fuck's sake...He went around, scooping up the guy who was now just saying gibberish with coherent, "Done, fuck, shit"'s being thrown in between sentences. He set him on the chair, smoothing aside any drinks that would be beyond the alcoholic's reach.

"Yeah? People can be unforgivable sometimes." Chuuya nodded, 'The customer is always right, unless their brain has left', the motto of the bar. "You know, we were best buds me an' him." Chuuya rolled his eyes, if he hadn't this one a million times. "Even better buds than ol' Buddy Wiser over here...speaking of which, gimme." His hand lolled out, stretching to the bottle. "Rather not, sir." Chuuya swept up the bottle, considering to take a sip. No, it was just beer. He was better than that, at least, for now. He put it back in the shelves, causing a sigh.

"Y'all are the same. Unforgivable. You stay on my side when you feel it, then you switch em up and toss me aside for another...ah fuck, I don't know." His reaching arm slammed onto the bar. "Your car's probably getting towed outside, you've been here for four hours." Chuuya looked down at him, well, metaphorically. "You know what son?" "I'm not your son." "You an' me, got a lotta in common." He was staggering out the door, not able to push it open. 'Like hell we do.', is what Chuuya normally would say, but the guy seemed down on his luck. He got betrayed by his partner, and anyone who's getting paid and has experienced that can sympathise. "I do have to ask something, what did the bastard do?" Chuuya opened the door, looking out into the street, eyes catching a piece of paper on a smashed up car. "He swiped my fuckin' liquor from my house, that's why the hell I'm here in the first place." The ability to relate could only take Chuuya so far, and his expectation, as well as his faith in humanity caused him to literally, kick the guy out, slamming the door with a huff.

His fault for trying to find meaning. Chuuya sighed, retreating back to his post. It was a late night, and it was going to be a long one. He walked over to the coffee machine, which he thought was normally a shitty investment, considering people came here to get off their face and sleep, not stay awake. But for now, it was a welcome object (that is to say, he couldn't trust himself not to get drunk on the job, at least right now. One of the drawbacks of being a lightweight.)

He retied his hair as he waited for the soft hiss of the pot, eyes going askance at the door. Perhaps there's a little 'unnamed drunkard' in everyone. Perhaps Chuuya took pity at the familiar loss of thought at losing someone he thought he could...trust wasn't the right word. Chuuya felt a lot of things about it, but he never felt he could trust /him/, for better or for worse, who was to say.

'No. This was different, you're just coming up with excuses to think about it again.' The sentence rang in Chuuya's mind, as he took a sip, the warm burn of coffee not all that different to that of wine. It was enveloping, soft on the outside yet sharp on the inside- like leaning onto someone after you got injured in a knifefight. Each sip was another confirmation into reality. 'You're not an alcoholic, you're not a petty fuckwit, you don't have a smashed up car, and you have dignity. This isn't you, and you aren't falling apart over anyone, no matter how petty or important they were to you.' Chuuya looked down, a stained white of a cup staring back at him. With a stupid realisation, he realised that the cup was probably empty by halfway through the third thought.

He retreated to wash the cup, considering the bar was much more lulled than usual, the beginning a slew of people, and the end the common but few ones that needed to be picked away. Besides, if someone needed him they could just "Ding ding ding!" The noise rang sharply through his ears, unrelenting on any break. He set the glass aside, hearing the bell ring more and more. It was a measured ring, not the usual irregularity of someone trying to press for more alcohol. Chuuya walked over, before stopping immediately.

Because any training could prepare him for literally any other possibility. It could've been assassin or any stereotypical bad customer. However as this person could be possibly all of those, it was who the man before him that shook him more than anything. If it wasn't the bandages enveloping his arms, it was lilted voice, all too frustratedly detached from concern. "Doesn't anyone work here anymore?" Chuuya felt shaken up, telling himself mentally to just suck it up, go home and just drink until this seems like it never happened.

"Someone does work here, sir." Perhaps it was an attempt to hide himself despite being in plain sight, but even Chuuya found himself hissing slightly on the words. Dazai seemed to take no notice, either acting like he didn't recognise him, or if he did- giving no indication that the man before him was his partner that he ditched all those painful years ago.

"So, what booze are you having?" Chuuya asked, again a reminding himself. If Dazai was here, it would only be to get booze, there's no way he figured to actually do this shit to taunt him. "None, thank you. Just a coffee." Chuuya fought back the urge to glare at him. "The machine's there, right?" An obvious statement, taunting Chuuya's hesitation, still trying to grasp at the possibility of Dazai not figuratively fucking with him. "How do you like your coffee?" 'You piece of shit', is what he would like to add.

"Two shots of espresso, no milk and one sugar." Dazai smirks at him. A normal order...

"You know, you can just say it's a..." Chuuya stops himself, eyes widening.

"Double black?" And out of all the times that Chuuya wanted to beat up Dazai, this was at least in the top twenty.

"I honestly can't believe you." He settled with saying that, but not before grabbing the other's shirt collar. "You give me all this shit-"

"I'd love to talk about that, but I actually would like a coffee right now." Dazai beams, as Chuuya reluctantly lets his grip go, before making him the beverage.

****

"This...is actually pretty good." Dazai glances up over his sip, looking at Chuuya making sure that he paid the right amount. "Do you really not trust me that much?"

Chuuya shoves the money into the register. "Give me one good reason why I should."

"I gave you the right amount, didn't I?" Chuuya scowls back at the response. "You also gave me a right amount of ditching me, a few lovely years."

"I can't tell whether that's you missing me or you being glad I never saw you again."

"Both, neither, shut up." Chuuya avoids any further response, feeling a pained groan emerge from him at Dazai stretching his arms and adjusting his bandages, a surefire indicator that it would be a long night.

"I said I'd love to talk about that, though." Dazai glances at Chuuya, settling a hand on the other's.

"Pay for a therapist."

"But the reason I came here was for you." He hummed, pouting slightly.

"The reason you came here was for that pun."

"...I will neither confirm nor deny that-" "Dazai." "Okay, it was admittedly a prominent factor."

Seeing the look on Chuuya's face Dazai added, "Come on, I didn't come here just purely for the sake of the pun, and the coffee."

"Then spit it out." "No! It's the best coffee I ever had!"

"The reason, dammit!" Chuuya rolls his eyes. "Of course. My own fucking fault for playing along with your games." "Chuuya, it's not tha-" Chuuya cut him off, "No. You don't get to decide how bad it was for me. You don't get to say anything about the fucking hell I have been through."

Dazai took a sip, before exhaling softly. "You're right, I don't." He decided to take the plunge. "...How is everyone over there?"

"You don't care about them, so why are you asking."

"Fine, how were you?" He raises an eyebrow, and Chuuya can't fight the smirk off his own face. "Mori's been killing me with paperwork. To think, he just tosses Akutagawa around and barely even uses me aside from infiltration, damn ridiculous..."

"Is that why you took up this lovely establishment?" Dazai asked, trying not to let his eyes flit to the aspects of the building that would state that the place is anything but lovely.

"You gotta pay before you can drink." Chuuya shrugs. "Besides he thinks I'm too..."

"Risky?"

"He said a glass canon loaded with gunpowder and fireworks, but let's go with that."

They looked at each other, with a knowing glance. Ever since Dazai left, Chuuya couldn't use Corruption. Well, of course he could. If he wanted to... "I would've just tried to kill him, shoot him with that loaded fire."

"Well, as good as the wine is in hell, I do have other... things to live for." Chuuya sighed, "Even if we're rotten, things get better with time."

"Did you just compare our relationship to wine?" Dazai laughed, "I didn't figure you cared about me that much."

"I'm not wrong am I?" Chuuya brushed off the teasing attempt, smirking at the other's retracted expression.

"Quite the opposite, actually." Dazai sighed, "I can't believe it, but you're actually right."

"Are you satisfied?" A blunt statement, one that held...way too many implications. "You got what you and every mafia man dreams, 'freedom'."

"Ah you think so?" Dazai's expression falters for but a moment, "And you? What's it like being free?"

"I throw out drunk bastards so I can spoil myself the luxury of expensive wine because killing people isn't enough, you tell me if that's freedom." Chuuya scoffs. "But yes, I am rather enjoying this job nonetheless."

"I wonder if you're saying that because of customer obligation or because you know better than anyone that you love throwing people around and acting like you have authority." Dazai muses, taking a sip.

"Both, really." Chuuya exhales, a half-smile ebbing onto his face. "You're a lot more tolerable when you're honest, you know that?"

"But I wouldn't be myself if I wasn't an intolerable liar, now would I?" Dazai glances up.

"See? It's not that hard." Chuuya pats the other's shoulder, before looking down. He retracted his hand, too close for comfort.

"Just like old-" "Shut up." Chuuya brushes it off, hands robotically reaching for some wine before he even realises it.

"Hey, don't get drunk on the job- I've had my fair share of carrying you around." Chuuya pours himself a glass, downing it and just getting more frustrated. Didn't even appreciate it. He didn't even appreciate any of this.

"Well, you aren't my partner, so you don't get to tell me."

"Ah, but isn't the customer always right?"

"Unless they're being an intolerable shit-" Chuuya reaches forward feeling the bandages against Dazai's arm.

"Careful, Chuuya- you might start backing away again."

"The fuck I will."

"Why, because you missed me?" Chuuya's eyes widened, his grip tightening. "You're the one that told me I should be more honest."

"I'm not going to let go of you."

"Not like you ever did." Dazai smiles at Chuuya's anger- an expected reaction. However, out of everything, Chuuya didn't expect this sentence. "Neither did I, I guess."

"What's it like being free?" The words fall on Chuuya's lips again, heart too shaky to ask anything else.

"You get a choice of all the drinks in the world...but the coffee, alcohol and everything else are bland, and you have to make it all yourself." Dazai's eyes flicker for a moment at the the glass on the table. "Why did you think I ordered a double shot? Word association aside, of course."

"Knowing you, you have at least five ulterior motives to why you do anything." Chuuya rolls his eyes.

"Oh? And what five would be the reason I came to see you?"

"The pun, you actually wanted a coffee, you're a little shit and you wanted to fuck around with me..." Chuuya shrugs. "I wouldn't know the last one, it has been...years since you've bothered to show up again without either of us trying to put a bullet in each other's heads."

"Well, I came here to change that. How about I visit this time every week, order some-"

"Fuck that. I'm tired of waiting, and I know what the reason is." Chuuya sighed, before tugging Dazai closer, feeling the other's lips on his own, before pulling away- smirking at Dazai's dazed face.

"Another double black?"

"...I'd like that."