#no happy eneding lOLLOLOL

[bitterbutblue]

Is it possible to request.. maybe Robin x reader things…?

Because i have ALOT of ideas 😞

the heartbreak time could never mend ☆ robin x fem!reader

~ so i decided to do a more angst route.. sorry anon T-T

robin falls in love with a civilian, but it's not what they want .. um i hope this doesnt hurt too bad

song: cornelia street - taylor swift ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

The letter that laid in front of her had been taunting her the moment she got home. She felt her throat close up, eyes stinging with unshed tears when she spots your familiar handwriting on top. Her heart has been aching to push itself out of her body, threatening to spill its own blood on the ground from the day she told you she didn't love you anymore. You remember that day too vividly, you remember that day every night you try to sleep and every morning when you wake up to the empty bed. You remember it too well because you remembered nothing ever being lead up to the point where she decided she no longer loved you.

"What the fuck do you mean, Robin?"

She had her back facing you, her halovian wings tucked in- a sign of agitation.

"I said I don't love you anymore."

Her voice was quiet, too calm for your own liking. She spoke as if it was just factual, as if you hadn't spent the past three years of your lives being each other's most important person.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

The world began spinning ever so slightly as you gripped at the edge of the table, trying to steady yourself. Your breathing grew more and more unsteady. You took in deep breaths, trying to calm that ache in your heart.

"Why?" Was all you could manage out "Why not?"

"Because I've fallen out of love."

Fallen out of love. It happens to people, more often or not. But you swear on your life that Robin had not fallen out of love because you still see the way she looks at you when you run into her on your way back home. You see through her civilian disguise, because you'd spot those eyes from anywhere. In a sea of people you'd recognise those eyes of hers and every time she looks at you and you only, she has the look reminiscent of a view of a harbour late at night. She has the look reminiscent of a heartbeat as one lays on their lover's chest- deep and sincere.

You still see that look in her eyes. You saw it the day you stormed out of her house, you see it the day you came back to get your stuff. You see it when you spot her walking down the streets and you know she hasn't fallen out of love. You know she hasn't fallen out of love because she looks at you with nothing but regret and pain, unspoken words and promises that beg to be let out. Eyes are just a simple human organ, made for us to see- yet eyes can hold more emotions than you could've ever processed and you learned this when she looked at you right before you left. Her facade dropped for just a bit and you see the gut-wrenching pain and regret that hits her almost immediately as soon as you opened the door. She opened her mouth, as if wanting to say something, but nothing comes out. Instead you watch her in silence for a moment, tears finally falling, before turning around and slamming the door shut.

You first fell for her because you worked at a cafe she really liked going to, and she noticed you because 1. you were absolutely stunning, and 2. you always drew the cutest little doodles and notes on her cup that had her swooning. She always talked to Sunday about 'that pretty barista who makes her drink the best' and Sunday had always urged her to talk to you. When she did finally approach you, you didn't recognise her as the idol Robin. You just gratefully accepted her request and she had never felt more light. She never understood what it meant to walk on Cloud 9 until you.

You finally connected the dots- why Robin never wanted to see you outside of her or your home, and why she always wore such dark clothing and sunglasses when she was out. You didn't care, you were just worried about her safety and you told her that if it was safer for you two to break up than to jeopardise her career, then you would be okay with ending things.

That was the day she fell more in love with you- more than ever. That was the day she wanted to be by your side forever.

That was the day she lied, the day she told you she would always put you over her career.

You loved her, you still do. You love her like she's the air you breathe, and you love her like a flame loves the cold air of the night. You loved her too much and too dearly and whenever you love someone too much it always come back to get you.

You remember the day she said those three words. It was on your bed, her laying in your arms after a long day of dealing with performances and fans, paparazzi and newspapers. You hold her close and you hold her tight. She nudged her head into the crook of your neck so that she laid on your chest. She let out a content sigh at the sound of your heartbeat.

"I love you."

You felt your own heart beating faster at her words and she giggled.

"Your heartbeat just sped up."

"I know."

You couldn't stop the embarrassment in your voice as she lets out a laugh that sounds akin to the sun rising over the city for a new day. Robin wraps her arms around you tightly, pressing a kiss to your neck, right at your pulse point.

"I love you, and I'll love you forever."

She sobbed in her bed for god knows how long after the door slams shut. She couldn't even call Sunday because she couldn't move without every fibre in her body burning from the pain that had spread from her heart. She sobbed until she couldn't speak and her eyes were hurting from how dry they had gone. She held her pillow tight against her chest to try to calm that ache that spread with each thump but it doesn't dull. It doesn't and it never will.

"Robin?"

"Hm?"

"Check the articles I sent you."

Her heart dropped. Whenever Sunday called her to say that it's almost never good news. She hung up immediately, clicking onto the article in the link he sent and she felt everything just come to a halt.

Robin spotted on the streets with a woman?

Robin coming out as a LESBIAN?

Idol Robin seen holding hands with a WOMAN!

Her phone hit the ground, clattering as she ran to the bathroom. She felt the sickening churn of her stomach as she knelt over the toilet bowl. Her own vision began to blur, the corners going white. Her worst nightmare was happening and it's happening in real time.

"Baby?"

You rush up to her side, panic filling you as you kneel down next to her. You take in the tears in her eyes, the paleness of her face and how she could barely breathe.

"I can't-"

"What's wrong?"

"Stay with me."

You write her a long letter, and you never had the courage to give it to her until weeks after she ended things with you. You blanked out as you were writing, and you weren't even sure if you were making sense as you wrote out what you were feeling. It was a series of emotions, incoherent words stuck together, held together by your anger, your despair. You want her to read it but you also want her to never contact you about it, ever.

You had finally pieced together why she ended things one day after you opened social media to find a post about Robin. You felt your own throat close up as you read the post. Beloved Robin is a lesbian? Fans enraged, netizens demand-

You threw your phone across the room, not caring about the damage you had done (though you did deeply regret it after). You felt your breathing get more and more ragged. She couldn't even talk to you about it. She didn't even come out with the truth about what happened because if she had just talked to you, you would've understood, goddammit. Instead she lied, she lied and she pretends and she smiles for the camera.

It's unclear what hurts more- her lie or the promise she broke. She swore to love you even if everyone was against her yet in her core, she is an idol. In her core, she is not willing to jeopardise her relationship for anything. You never should've believed her in the first place and fuck, you were foolish for believing her.

She smiles for the camera every day, she sings her songs and she greets the crowds with her award winning, bright and cheerful smile. She addresses the rumours and that's what kills you.

Regarding the rumours about your sexuality, what do you have to say to that?

I would like to clarify that those rumours are false- I am not queer or part of the LGBTQ+ community. The person in the images that have been circulating around is just a good friend of mine- a friend since childhood. I never liked to openly talk about my sexuality but I do not think my sexuality should be a topic discussed so openly. What I do in my private life should be kept to me and my loved ones.

Bullshit.

Robin had told you in secrecy, she doesn't like men. She doesn't and she never has been interested in men. You wouldn't betray her trust and out her of course but fuck it hurt to see her do the exact thing she promised you she would never do.

It hurt so much.

-

Dear Robin,

I don't know how to start this letter, I don't know how to write exactly what it is I feel and what it is I want to even say but there is so much I never conveyed to you that night that I feel like I want you to know before we part ways forever.

You were the first girl I truly loved, and I hope you know that. I know you will move on one day, and I hope when you move on you are more confident in yourself. I hope you have the guts to fucking keep your promise you told me with your future girlfriend and that you don't hurt them like you hurt me. Did you have to be such a coward? Did you have to lie to me about not loving me anymore? If you had just told me the truth it would've hurt less- yet you break two promises with this act of yours. Is it that important for you to maintain this image? Is it worth losing what we had and the future we were planning to build together?

All I have left is the remains of what you promised me and the remains of myself I have to pick up because of how you've left me. I can't walk down the stairs without thinking about that time you were waiting for me there with my favourite flowers. I can't walk into the kitchen without thinking about the day you surprised me by cooking breakfast for me on my birthday despite your busy schedule. I will hurt forever, and I will stay hurt for god knows how long.

A part of me will always be changed, and you will always be a part of me because I myself am an amalgamation of our love and of you now. My sense of self is also tied to you, my sense of identity is engrained to you and I despise that. I despise how a part of me is forever shaped by you. I want to lose every part of you forever because I love you so much. I love you so much and it hurts to know that you will still be a part of me but you will never be with me again. I've never asked much of you, and I don't think I am a selfish person but please just let me be selfish for once- I just want to keep your love, I want to keep you.

i just want you to be proud of who you are. I want you to not have to hide in shame and I hope you stop hiding one day because I know it hurts you too.

Signed,

Yours truly

-

Dearest,

You will probably never see this letter, and I may just burn this after I write it.

You were my first love too. I never opened myself up to anyone but you caught me with open arms. I never thought I would be so heads over heels for you but the more I got to know you the deeper in love I fell. I knew it was a risk to ask you out and I took that risk because I love you. I want you to be in my life forever but I also want you to know that I'm scared.

I know it's not fair of me to ask you to understand, but I just want to protect you from the media. Selfishly, I put myself first. Selfishly, I couldn't let myself love you because I was scared of what would happen if the media truly found out about you.

I love you, I still do. I wake up every day wishing you were by my side but I need to learn the fact that I had let you go. I had let you go for my own sake and I regret it, I really do. But I don't think it's right for me to come back, to come begging.

I don't think I can love someone as well as I loved you. I think the way I love in the future will forever be influenced by you too.

I will try to be braver for you, I hope you see me on the screens one day and remember us, and how you are the reason why I shine brighter than the stars of the Penacony nights.

I love you, forever and always.

Signed,

Robin.

-

"What can I get for you today-"

You feel your heart come to a stop when you see the customer that stands in front of you. You recognised those eyes from anywhere, even if it had been years. You had moved to a new city, gotten a new job at a new cafe. And here she stands, no disguise, nothing. Her eyes widen too, jaw dropping slightly. You feel your heart sink when you notice the shorter girl that stands next to her.

The girl that holds her hand tight.

"I'll have a hot chocolate!"

The girl with silvery-blonde hair smiles brightly, her eyes were this beautiful mix of ocean blue and pink that you found yourself getting lost in. Her eyes reflect nothing but kindness, Robin's eyes reflect nothing but pain.

"I'll have a flat white."

Robin's voice is quiet, slightly strained. You just nod, swallowing back the lump in your throat as you click a few buttons on the screen.

"Cash or card?"

"Card, please."

You take a deep breath in, trying to steady your voice.

"Can I have a name?"

Robin swallows.

"Robin."

"Great-" You try to stop your voice from cracking "I'll have your drinks up soon, Ms. Robin."

You turn around quickly. You had to do something else- going to work on the drinks because you could feel the tears threatening to spill. You distract yourself with the loud sounds of the milk frother, the sounds of coffee being dispensed. You take another deep breath in, hands clutching at the countertops as you try to steady yourself and to stop the tears from falling. You reach up, dabbing away at the tears quickly before heading back to work. You pour the drinks into the cup, putting the lids on before ringing up the pair. To your dismay, Robin comes up instead. You notice how her eyes drift down to the sides of the cup, face falling slightly when she notices that the sides of the cups are empty. No names, no doodles, nothing.

"Thank you."

Her voice cracks slightly as she takes the cup. You finally bring your gaze up, making eye contact for the first time in years and you feel your heart clench as you let out an choked gasp. You see the tears that form in her eyes, the tears that mirrors yours.

Please, say something.

"Have a good day."

Pause.

Anything.

"You too."

And she turns around, like a stranger resuming their day- your moments in history, pushed back into the past.