#no funeral without applause | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sawtastic-sideblog · 1 year ago

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This isn't the Gavin idea I posted about, but this is a week of sleep deprivation of writing when I could between work and studying/taking finals.

Tw: talk of death, some violence

Hope y'all enjoy.

"Oi, Y/N, you coming to the footie match?" Gavin asks. You look up from your magazine, staring blankly at him before looking down at your team shirt and back up again. You'd never really liked him, but you got along because of your best friend, Ray.

"Yeah," you answer before turning your eyes back down to the article, but your attention stays on Gavin. You can feel his eyes on you as he sits at the table across from you. You can smell his sandwich.

"Peanut butter and jelly? Really? What are you five?" You ask without looking up.

"My mum made me one before every game. Keeping the tradition alive."

"Ah, so you're superstitious," you say, eyes once again, flitting up towards Gavin. He shakes his head as he chews.

"Nothing like that. I'm just keeping my mum's memory alive. Helps me feel closer to her. Ya know, since she's been gone a full year tomorrow."

Your breath catches in your throat. You knew that. Of course you knew that. You went to the funeral with Ray. You'd just forgotten the dates. You let your eyes fall away from Gavin's as you stumble your apology.

"I'm sorry, Gavin. I didn't realize the date."

"It's okay, Y/N. You don't care about me enough to know these things."

"What things?" Ray asks as he walks into the room wearing his jersey.

"The anniversary of my mum dying."

"They remember it. They just don't know what day it is anymore. The haven't been seeping."

"Ray," you hiss.

"Ah, so, the insomnia has come back, has it? I can help with that," Gavin asks with a glint in his eye.

"Shut up," you say, holding the magazine infront of your face.

"Boys, it's time to go. Big game time," John, Ray's step-dad says.

"Come on, Y/N, time to watch me win us a championship," Gavin says. You roll your eyes and grab your things, following the boys and John to the car.

"Wanna wear my spare jersey? Got my numbers on it," Gavin asks as he opens the car door.

"Get bent," you say as you shove past him into the backseat and crawl all the way to the other side. You hear Gavin chuckle as he gets in the car.

"Go on, Ray!" You yell. You watch as Ray passes the ball over to Gavin. Two of the opposing team's players close in on Gavin, who is running towards the goal. One player tries to get the ball, Gavin dodges. The other player tries for it, Gavin dodges again. He kicks the ball towards the goal. You hold your breath, along with everyone else in the stands.

The ball soars ever so slowly, or so it feels. Your eyes follow the ball as it barely makes it past the goalies hands and into the net. The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. Gavin just won the game!

"Fuck, yes, Gav!" You scream. He looks towards the crowd almost like he's looking for the source of the scream.

Suddenly, he's on the ground. One of the players from the other team is kicking him. You see Ray and some of their other teammates running towards the scene. Ray shoves the player and grabs Gavin as a brawl breaks out between the teams.

You're digging through your bag as Ray brings Gavin over. You hand him the first aid kit from your bag.

"You alright?" You ask.

"I'm great. I think my bloody nose is broken."

"Good game," you say. Gavin's eyes light up and he smiles wide.

"Told you I'd win."

"So you did," you say while looking out at the, now, broken up brawl. Graeme's nose is sideways and John is yelling at him.

"To Gav and his game winning goal!" Graeme shouts into the bar. His voice slightly muted like he's congested. Pretty sure it's just the broken nose.

The team cheers and clinks glasses. You clink your glass against Ray's and go to take a sip.

"Ahem," a voice calls. You pause glass to your lips and turn towards the voice. Gavin holds his glass out to you expectantly. His nose is swollen, but not broken, and bruised and he has a bruise around his left eye.

You roll your eyes, but clink his glass and finally take your sip. Ray grabs your hand and pulls you out to the floor where the two of you dance.

You catch glimpses of Gavin staring at you all night. You can feel his eyes on you when you're turned away. You shrug off the uncomfortable feeling and try to have a good time with your friend.

"Hey, Y/N/N, having a good time?" Ray asks as he sits beside you. You had gone off to a secluded booth to get out of the hustle of the partiers.

"Yeah, just needed to catch my breath."

"Good. Gav is taking me home and asked if you needed a ride."

"Hasn't he been drinking?"

"One beer six hours ago."

"That's not like Gavin," you say surprised.

"He said it was his turn to be the designated driver or some shit."

"Well, how sweet of him. Thinking of others. Decent human being shit," you say sarcastically as you grab your bag. Ray keeps his hand on your upper back as the two of you walk through the crowd.

"Ready to go?" Gavin asks as you approach. You nod and keep walking. You could swear you feel his fingers drag against your wrist. You shrug it off as your drunken imagination and continue out the door.

"See ya, Ray," Gavin says before he slowly rolls forward. He watches the mirror as Ray goes inside. You stare at him as he drives off. You watch the streetlights dance across his features as you pass underneath them. His scruff enticing you with each light you passed.

Before you can stop yourself, your hand is reaching out towards Gavin's face. Your fingertips dance across his jaw. He turns his head toward you and your fingers land on his lips.

"What are you doing?"

"You looked fluffy," you say with a slur to your words. You pull your hand back and Gavin shakes his head and turns back towards the road. You close your eyes and relax into the seat.

"Fluffy?"

"Yeah, but it's more prickly than fuzzy."

"Your drunk," Gavin says laughing. He pulls into your apartment building's parking lot. "Here's your stop. Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"We're at your flat."

"Okay."

"Go on, then. Get out."

"I am," you say, not moving. You hear Gavin sigh and open his door. Moments later your door is opened and someone is leaning over you. They smell really good. You can tell it's Gavin. You seatbelt is unbuckled and your arm is tugged.

"You smell good."

"Thank you, now, come on, Y/N, you gotta help me out."

"I am."

"No, you're sitting in my car, doing nothing to help me."

"Ugh. Just leave me here."

"Wish I could, darling, but I gotta get home."

"Why? You don't have anyone to go home to."

"Ouch."

"Sorry."

"I'm sure you are. Now, stand up."

You lazily move your legs out of the car and stand up. You're very wobbly as you start taking steps. You hear your door close and you feel a hand on your upper arm.

"That's it. Easy does it," Gavin says, leading you to the metal staircase that leads up to your door. The night air gives you a chill and you try to curl into yourself. "You'll be inside in a minute. You can warm up then. Just walk."

Even with you stumbling up stairs, hitting your legs on everything, the two of you manage to your door. You stumble into the wall and stay there, holding yourself up. You pat your pockets.

"My keys."

"I have them. I have your whole bag. You left it in the car," Gavin says as he rummage for your keys. You start to slide down the wall. Gavin catches you, keys in hand. "Nope."

"I'm tired."

"I know. I'm trying to get you inside."

Gavin unlocks the door and opens it. He guides you inside and you stumble over to the couch, where you slump into the cushions. You fall into the throw pillow and hug it close to your body. You hear Gavin set your bag down and walk around the living room.

Suddenly, you're engulfed in a soft, fluffy material. You realize it's a blanket and pull it closer to your body.

"Goodnight, Gav," you say drunkenly. You hear a distant 'Goodnight Y/N' as you fall away, into a deep sleep.

The next morning you wake up with a terrible headache. You regret drinking so much last night. Your eyes scan the blurry room. You see a glass of water and two bottles on the table. You ready yourself and sit up. Your head is aching and your entire body hurts. Your legs sting as you move them to the floor. You see a note and pick it up.

"You kept falling up the stairs. That explains your legs. You tried to get up to go to the bathroom before I left and you fell into the coffee table. You got your arm and head on that. I tried to make sure you were okay, but your stubborn ass you wouldn't let me. I put the bandage on after you fell asleep. Take the pain killers, drink the water, and the electrolyte drink I left for you. -Gav"

You pick up the bottle of pain killers and down a couple with some water. You get up to start your day, which isn't much since it's your day off. You pick up your blanket to fold it and a jacket falls out of it. You recognize it as Gavin's.

'Why was I covered up with Gavin's jacket?' You wonder to yourself. You remember thinking he smelt good last night, so you hold it to your nose and inhale deeply. He does smell good. You shake it from your head and get to work on cleaning.

Ray calls you a bit later asking if you to come over for movie night. Not wanting to deal with his mother, you invite him to your place. He agrees and tells you he'd pick up pizza.

You're finishing up your cleaning when you hear a knock at the door. You open to find Gavin there, hands in his pockets, a bag hangingoff on wrist. His scruff from last night a little thicker, his eyes shining in the afternoon sun, they look brighter with the darkness of the bruises surrounding them, his hair a little messy, but it suits him. You feel a pull at your heart and get confused.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hey, Gavin, what are you doing here?"

"Ray said you two were having movie night. Thought I'd come crash it. Unless you guys had other plans," Gavin says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No, it's just movie night, you dunce," you says, opening the door wider for him to walk in. He walks by you and you catch that scent again. "Did you get new cologne?"

"Nah, it's the same one I've been using for years. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just now noticing it."

"Ah, you like it?"

"It's alright. A little strong."

"Really? You told me I smelled good last night."

"I seem to also remember calling you a dick at the bar."

"This was after the bar. I was bringing you home. You said I smell good and that I look fluffy, but feel prickly."

"What?"

"You said my face looked fluffy, but got disappointed when it was prickly becauenif my beard."

"Oh, sorry," you say. Gavin just shrugs and puts the bag he was carrying on the dining table. You walk into the kitchen to finish up cleaning and Gavin follows you.

"How's the nose?"

"Alright, my entire face is stinging like a bitch. What about your head?"

"Surprisingly my legs hurt more than my head."

"I can imagine. You hit your shins on every surface last night."

"Oh, you left your jacket here. It's on the hook by the door."

"Thanks. Left it with you, incase you wanted to smell me again."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks for last night. I appreciate it."

"Not a problem."

"And, uh, about today."

"What about it?"

"What was your mum's favorite movie? We can watch it in honor of her."

"The Sound of Music. Thanks, Y/N, that's really nice of you considering you hate me."

"I don't hate you, but I do tolerate you for Ray. I also liked your mom. She was always really nice to me."

"She liked you, a lot. Always said you were the child she never had. That you were a good influence on me. That you could get me away from Pat."

"Yeah, I agree with her. He's bad news. You should get away."

"Why? You don't care about me."

"Just because I'm not fond of you doesn't mean I don't care about you. I want what's best for everybody and that includes you."

Gavin's hands find your hips and he spins you around. He pin you against the counter. His eyes are full of confusion.

"If you don't like me, why do you want what's best for me? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of not liking me."

"Because, even though you irritate the absolute fuck out of me, I want to see you happy, Gavin."

"Why don't you call me Gav like everybody else?"

"I do, don't I?"

"In six years, I've only heard it twice. Once was last night when I tucked you in and you said goodnight to me. The other was yesterday when I scored the game winning goal. I believe your exact words were 'fuck, yes, Gav,' but that was from across the field, so I'm not sure I heard you properly. I think I need to make you say it again," he says, smirking as your cheeks heat up. He leans closer. "I could have you screaming it."

You're saved by a knock on the door. Gavin let's you go and walks to the door. You quickly run to the bathroom.

"Hey, Ray, we're watching mum's favorite tonight."

Three months later and you're hanging out with Ray. You're just grocery shopping, but you're both having a good time.

"Hello, friends, how we going?" Gavin asks as he blocks the two of you in with his cart.

"Great until now," you answer.

"Ouch, my heart. Y/N, you cruel beast," Gavin says, holding his heart dramatically. "Anyway, game night? I've been itching to play Monopoly."

"Sure," Ray says as he grabs a bag of chips from the shelf. You sigh, but nod your head. You've been trying to avoid Gavin since movie night, but it's proving to be more difficult than you thought. He left his jacket again, so he was back the next day to pick it up. He always seems to find a reason to come into the shop you work in or to hangout with you and Ray.

"My place?" You offer.

"Perfect. See you both tonight," Gavin says before pushing his cart away.

"Cheating bastard," Ray says as he hands Gavin the fake money.

"I'm not cheating, I'm just a smart business man."

"I agree with Ray," you say as you roll the dice. You land on the 'Go To Jail' space for what feel likes the billionth time tonight. You've been in jail so much what they should just give you the key. "Fuck me."

"Maybe later," Gavin jokes. You feel that little pang in your chest again. Your chest always feels funny when he says things like that to you or even when he's just doing mundane things. You heart did flips when he did the dishes at Ray's house once and when he was working on his car and he went to wipe the oil off his hands. Hell, you're pretty sure your heart skipped a beat when he showed up with pizza tonight. His messy hair, scruff, and mischievous eyes made your heart do cartwheels.

It was in that moment that you realized that you like Gavin. You like him so damn much.

"That's it, I'm done," Ray says, standing from the chair and walking to the couch. You laugh as you start cleaning up the game.

"You're done too?"

"Yeah, no use in even trying. You're the better business man," you say as you organize the money. Gavin nods and helps you clean.

The three of you decide to watch a movie and you offer for the two of them to stay the night. Both agree and you grab blankets for them.to use. Ray takes the couch and Gavin steals a throw pillow and makes a place on the floor to sleep. You bid them goodnight and go to your room. You can't sleep because your mind is running wild with the discovery of your feelings for Gavin, so you decide to read.

"Can't sleep?"

You jump and look up to see Gavin poking his head in your door.

"Sorry, saw the light on and decided to check in."

"It's okay and, yeah, I can't sleep."

"Something wrong?"

"Too many thoughts."

"Wanna talk about it?" Gavin asks as he walks fully into the room, closing the door behind him. He doesn't wait for your answer and joins you on the bed.

"No thanks. I'm good."

"Okay. I'm just gonna hang out here then. Floor is hurting my back, Ray is snoring, and I can't sleep either. Got another book?"

You hand him one from your nightstand and both of you sit in silence for a while. Gavin shifts and his shoulder is against yours. You feel the heat he gives off and suddenly reading is very difficult for you. You notice his scent and just how close he is to you. You take a deep breath through your nose.

"Smelling me? Do I smell good again?"

"No," you lie. You have to think quick. "I was trying not to to laugh. Funny part of the book."

"Oh, really? What happened?"

"You'll have to read it and find out."

"Does this mean that I can come back and sit in bed to read with you?" Gavin asks jokingly. You realize that he's flirting.

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Yeah and I have been for years now."

"You have?"

"Yeah, you never noticed because you hate me."

"I don't hate you. I tolerated you because of Ray."

"Tolerated? As in past tense?"

"What?"

"You said tolerated. As in you no longer tolerate me. Why do you not tolerate me anymore, Y/N?" Gavin asks. He moves in closer to you. You stare up into his eyes and don't say anything. "Do you like me now, Y/N?"

"Quit it. Stop flirting with me."

"Why?"

"Because it makes it harder."

"Makes what harder? Other than me," he jokes.

"To accept that I like you. That I've always liked you, but I only, unconsciously, let myself start feeling it the night you brought me home. Then the next day, when I woke up with your jacket and realized I liked havin your scent around me. Then, you show up, looking handsome as ever, with my favorite soda. The way you mouthed the words to the movie, the jokes, just everything about you for the past three months have bee eating me alive. I couldn't figure out why until tonight."

"What made you realize you liked me?"

"When you said you'd fuck me later," you say hiding your face with your blanket. Gavin throws his head back and laughs. It's a beautiful sound, but it's at your expense, so you hide your face more. You feel Gavin's arms around you.

"On your terms, I will. Also, I dropped Pat the day we talked. I want to put your mind at ease."

"Good because I just realized I liked you and I don't want to lose you now."

"You're not losing me."

"Good," you say and lean into his chest. One of his hands stroke your hair, the other holds your hand.

"Can I fuck you, though?"

"Not with my best friend is here. Or anytime soon. We're taking things slow. Especially since you haven't asked me out," you explain. Gavin laughs.

"Y/N, will you be mine, only mine, exclusively mine, forever?"

"Yes."

"Good, now can I kiss you?" You nod. He tilts your head up and presses his lips into yours. It's soft and sweet, full of passion and pent up feelings. When you pull away for air, Gavin puts his forehead against yours. "I have been waiting six years to do that."

#gavin ellis #the mule 2014 #ray jenkins #leigh whannell #angus sampson

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